Must everyone remind me (in a gloom and doom way) of how old my baby is becoming?

[LucyG]

Maybe I'm the only one that this bothers, but it just seems unnecessary for people to say, "Oh, she's getting so old. Enjoy her now." It's almost as if some of them want to add (but don't), "It's all downhill from here." The implication is that babyhood is the pinnacle, and everything is, well, not so fun. Sure, I loved her infancy, and I know that parenting will become more difficult, but can't we focus on the joy of a baby becoming a toddler, and all of the fun things that brings? One reason I like these boards so much is because we celebrate our babies and toddlers at ALL ages and stages. Just had to get that off my chest!

[papal]

Oooh... i so agree with you. Why can't people just share in the joy or keep their mouths shut. I cannot tell you how many times i have heard ' this is the best age..once they start crawling/walking/talking it is not so much fun. Enjoy it while it lasts!" WTF???? Do they really think this? Do they not enjoy their kids as much as they used to. And even IF this is some kind of truth.. DO NOT TELL ME.. I WILL FIGURE IT OUT ON MY OWN!!! People say anything!!!

[COElizabeth]

I understand! When my son was a week old my FIL gave me this talk about how before I knew it my DS would be 18 and out of the house and I would be wishing I could do it all again. I was already in tears that day because the first week had gone so fast, and I couldn't even reply to him without losing control completely!

I love the baby stage, and I have always not really believed people when they said toddlers were more fun, but yesterday we went swimming, and James was able to go on the big water slide with me, and it was one of the first times that I really thought "wow, this is way more fun than when he was a little baby!" You have a lot to look forward to. So yes, enjoy now, but it is not "all downhill" from here!

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

[lisams]

That reminds me, everytime we see our ped. for a well baby exam he starts off with "Isn't this the best age?!" After like the fourth time, I asked him which age really is the best in a joking way, and he said they ALL are and I totally agree. I do think the young baby stage goes by so fast and when I think back to all of the worrying and wishing for her to roll over, sit-up, crawl, walk, I really should have relaxed and enjoyed the stage we were in more! Of course it's fun looking forward to those next milestones :) Toddlerhood is awesome, don't let those negative comments get ya' down!!!

Lisa

[NancyJ_redo]

Every time we get to a new stage I tell my sister "This is the BEST stage...it's so much fun", and she (who has 2 kids, ages 7 and 5) tells me that every stage is like that - each one seeming impossibly better than the stage before it. She says she loves the stage her boys are at now because she can have conversations with them and 'hang out' as friends. So, I look forward to every stage in the future, and don't by any means think it's all downhill from here.

Ya know, there are always people that have to be the naysayers, no matter what it is. I've always wondered about those people and why they say those things. Even if they truly think it goes downhill after babyhood...WHY would they ever say that, and what makes them think just because they had that experience that you're going to have the same experience?? Aargh. Just try to ignore them.

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I think a lot of that is conversation...I really think people mean well when they comment about your child and it's a quick way to converse...I actually think about recent comments to folks I have made (like Shannon for instance) when she said Jack was walking and I said "get on your running shoes"...Or even "uh oh watch out now"...

There are truely comments that one makes (one in a thousand maybe) that seem to be said with a malicious intent like "oh he'd be cute without that binkie"...but for the most part many of this is just conversation. I have to say I too love these boards for our celebrations but the downside (and maybe an upside) is it has awaken me to be almost commentless to many people with kids.
for instance the "is he walking", "is he sleeping thru the night", I would have looked at that as conversation (and still do) but I have learned here some look at it is comparing and it is said to really really have to watch everything you say. In all hoensty if I asked that of someone I wouldn't remember their response in 5 minutes, maybe I'm shallow but I could care a less if the gal at the grocery store has a child that is sleeping thru the night or walking...I kid you not I see a child, baby and I swear I don't know what to say to the mother that can't be turned around in someway...I just nod and say "she's beautiful" YET...I remember being at a party and a mom said she hates when her 4 year old is told she is "beuatiful" she looks at it as a perverted response...that "beautiful" I guess should be said to older women...

I guess I'm just trying to cheer you on to feel comfortable that folks are actually trying to make your child the center of attention for those few seconds if it helps at all...

Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[doubleL]

Oooops, I've gotta plead guilty here. I say this all the time... yikes!! Sorry, guys!! Even on these boards, I think I said it to Neve recently when she was wondering how soon Tristan would walk. So just to clarify, I don't mean it in a doom and gloom way at all. It's just that you don't get a second chance to live through these special moments again. It's a reminder to myself as much as others to take it all in while you can. It IS like a cliche you realize is truth at some point. It's not actually like I thought Neve wasn't enjoying T as much as possible either. Like she said herself, thankfully, it's just something to say. Guess I'll have to watch that one.

See my post in the thread below for further clarification...

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=53363&mesg_id=53363&listing_type=search

Peace!

Lou
~DS 5.01
~DD 6.03

[MelissaTC]

I am guilty of that statement as well. I say it not in a "I don't enjoy my child anymore" way but more out of nostaglic feelings. I love my DS so much. It seems like every day with him is challenging and joyous, just in different ways. When I see a younger baby, it makes me remember the days when he was crawling, or learning to sit, the way he used to smile or coo. And it was so sweet and nice. I tried to cherish those moments as much as I could. I even scrapbooked them! But I see my little guy now as a growing little boy, not a baby anymore. While he still needs me, those needs are so different. And it makes me sad in some ways because it is just an indication of what is to come. He has become so independent that he doesn't always want my help or need it. And I know as he gets older, it will only become worse. And it makes me happy and sad. Happy to know that my child is healthy and happy and growing as he should. But another part of me yearns to be at the stage where he was happy with me shaking the rattle and carrying him in the sling.

People used to tell me "Enjoy it now...it won't last"...and I would think how you do. It is downhill now but more of like a roller coaster ride, with the car going down the track. It will go up again and I love every minute of this wild ride. But gosh does he make me tired! I am always acting as referee between Matthew and the dogs. I find rolled up socks and puzzle pieces in the vcr. I now have to share the girl scout cookies and the tv. When I go shopping, I have someone who lets me know if they have had enough in the home goods aisle and wants to cruise the toy aisle.

It is all good and fun. I have loved every second of being his Mommy and I wouldn't change a thing. I miss the little baby I had but love the independent, creative, active and sweet little guy that he has become. When he wraps his little arms around me and gives me a hug & kiss, there is nothing else better in the entire world.

I am sorry this is such a long rant...just wanted to give a different perspective...