Colors/Gender..OK I am in a bitchy mood this week...but what is up with GENDER??

[kijip]

Since my son was born we have had at least 3-6 people a week think he is a girl because he has a purple blanket. They are surprized and sometimes amused that we have a purple blanket. (homemade gift, best swaddling blanket, voila it became his favorite). Now it does not bother me that people think he is a girl but it does bother me that we are so obsessed with matching colors to genders. I suppose I can understand the clothes to a point (though we have a pretty neutral wardrobe by choice) but the strollers, carseats, pacifer keepers and the like? Why would someone base their choice of carseats on the color matching the baby's gender? I have heard people worry about the ruffle of their navy blue high chair being too girly for their baby boy. I suppose I know why people do this but I just think it is riduculous. I like to think that I bought the safest seat and the most affordable but functional highchair. I don't think my 8 month old boy CARES that there is a ruffle on his carseat or that we have a pink and red sweater for him. I think it is clear that we "genderize" babies from day 1.....I think people can make their own choices but wish that they would not make remarks/impressions about my child based on the color of his hat or his stroller or his dang carseat.

[MelissaTC]

I understand where you are coming from. People always thought my DS was a girl. One woman told me it is because of his eyes. WTF? Boys aren't allowed to have long lashes?

[22tango]

LOL!! It's all so TRUE!!

And yet...you still can't win even when you try to play the gender "color game". It never fails that people assume Karenna is a boy even when dressed all in PINK simply because she has very little hair. (The converse of this is that our neighbor's son is often mistaken for a GIRL because of his luscious blonde curls!)

It used to bug me. Now I just LAUGH!! :D

[kijip]

We get the eye thing a lot too...my son has my husband's baby blue eyes with long lashes. I even had 1 lady tell me he was "too pretty" to be a boy (???!!). I wish people would just realize that a baby is a baby...there is very little difference once the diaper is on...

[luvbeinmama]

Hee hee, I've dressed FF in all blue and just told people she was "in disguise" as a boy. LOL! And I've had her in all pink and had someone say what a cute little boy because the infant seat is blue! I just blow it off. Not worth the aggravation of getting upset.

[s7714]

And here I was a little peeved the other day when everyone we encountered thought DD was a boy because she was wearing a purple shirt with purple/maroon striped pants. Why is it people think a boy with a purple blanket is a girl but a girl in a purple t-shirt is a boy??? Apparently we can't win either way can we! ;)

Jennifer
Mommy to Annalia 03/03/03

[kijip]

It is amusing. I think it comes from the fact that you have about a 50% chance of being right when guessing the sex of a baby. Conversely you have a 50% chance of being wrong wrong wrong. There is no way to tell if you put them in plain diapers and line em' up! I don't care if people think my son is my daughter but it worries (in a pssing sort of way, not a freak out and dwell sort of way) me that we insist on labeling by gender right from the start. The main thing I find silly is people more obsessed with colors/gender issues than safety or quality in a piece of gear....

[Imperia]

I have mentioned this before, and it irritates me as well. I get sick to death of pink, and I don't feel I should limit my daughter's clothing choices because of her gender, that's ridiculous. She has an outfit which is wedgewood blue and white (so blue it's almost purple) and when she wears its people ask me all about my SON, nevermind the print of the outfit is teapots (big print too) and it has a RUFFLE around the neck. People think, "Oh blue...boy!"
The entire thing is arbitrary anyway. Back in the victorian era they often dressed little boys up like little girls. They put both boy's and girls in pink (girls wore blue as well), curled little boy's hair etc. Often you will see a portrait of a child and not be able to tell the sex unless you look at the toys in the background (which would have been "gender approprite").

*sigh*

*Note* the blue and whiote outfit DD is wearing in my avatar, that one makes peopl ethinkshe is a boy as well.

Imperia

[JenCA]

Oh, I can relate to this all to well. My DD has very little hair, so I can't tell you how many times she's been called a boy even when dressed in head-to-toe pink! I used to be obsessive about making sure her gender was apparent, but now I dress her in lots of brights/primary colors (my preference over pastels) and just don't worry about it.

[Neatfreak]

Oh dear ... I didn't realize that purple was such a controversial colour! LOL!

[mamahill]

When Ainsleigh was a few months old, I had her out with her lavender blanket with lavender rosebuds on it. The checker at the grocery store referred to "him" and I kind of did a double-take and then said (kindly, I THOUGHT), "Oh... actually, she's a girl..." The woman got kind of huffy and said, "Well, I just saw the purple and assumed..." HUH? Not only was it LAVENDER, it had flowers on it.

You just can't win...

[deborah_r]

I had DS in a red shirt with cowboy-related images on it and he was called a girl. And somebody at Costco told me he was "too pretty to be a boy" the other day. Honestly, I don't really mind that one, as I am totally pleased when anyone takes notice of my little cutie! And I think she was just being nice.

I don't know what to say to other mommies when I don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl. I'm afraid to ask if the baby is a boy or girl, because then they might be offended that I cannot tell. I was in an elevator with a mother and very young baby - the baby was wearing black & red. I didn't even try to guess! I just said "oh, how old is your baby?" I hoped she would say "He is 8 weeks" or "She is 8 weeks" but she just said 8 weeks. So I didn't try to get any further!

Heck, I used to get irritated when people couldn't tell my cats or my dog were boys - I would think "well, LOOK, of course it's a boy" because it is so obvious to me, I can't see them any other way. So I think we tend to assume that others can see the boy or girl face that we see. But, yeah, it is irritating that the clothes and blanket and other gear are such indicators!

[jesseandgrace]

About a month ago I woud have Grace in a pink dress and people would say :Oh what a beautiful boy", ok men would say that, not women, but I think the lack of hair threw the guys. She now has some curls and looks more like a girl. I really never cared. When my DS was a baby I was in a target buying sippy cups and the woman next to me was shocked because all the packs had one pink cup. I seriously can not understand that - who cares what a boy drinks from? Meanwhile my DS was sucking happily on a pink pacifier :).

[new_mommy25]

LOl, everyone thinks DS is a girl. He is very pretty and DH and I have just given up. Today we got his car seat checkup and the police officer kept refering to DS and "she". Never mind the fact that he was wearing green khaki cargo's and a tan gymbo sweater with a big dinosaur on it. Or the fact that I had just filled out a form with his name NOAH right on top. I didn't even bother to correct her.

When DS was about 4 months old we took a plane ride. He was in his snugride covered with a off-white pooh blanket. (his favorite). The man behind me asked is he was a boy or girl. WHen I replies he said, "Oh I couldn't tell becaUSe he doesn't have a blue blanket". WTF??

[hellosmiletoday]

My ultrasound could not determine the sex of my baby with a high degree of certainty, so I can totally understand! The selection of gender-neutral baby gear is so sparse!

All the gender neutral clothes tend to be bright yellows...which I dislike! Everyone continually insists on trying to guess the gender of my baby based on how I'm carrying, or worse, they ask me if I've gained any weight in other areas...just the question you want to answer when you are pregnant! I keep on telling them that its not scientific...that the chances are 50/50...but they are convinced that they have guessed the correct sex.

Then, there are very few gender-neutral crib bedding sets...alot are bright yellow (which I dont like). So then we tried to pick one in advance in a boy or girl pattern. Well, first of all, most of the crib sets seem to be geared towards girls, and the most of the ones made for boys are navy blue (I wanted pale colors for the nursery). So my mom decided to make the crib set, and the only fabric we could find that wasn't pink, blue, or bright yellow was a mint green fabric that has a few flowers...but oh well...the baby could care less if his/her bumper and skirt have flowers!

[gisele]

My son has a LOT of hair (quite long too), and long lashes. I dress him in blue, but no matter what, everyone thinks he's a girl

[jraohc]

I just wanted to say that I agree with you. Baby's not due until May, but I really hate being told things like "what do you mean you don't know if it's a boy or a girl, how will you buy anything before the baby's born?" My husband's grandfather really doesn't "get it" and just about every time we talk to him he asks "do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" followed by "how will you know what color blanket to knit the baby?"

One of the reasons I don't want to know in advance is because I don't want to end up with all of this pink or blue just because of the baby's gender (especially pink because I don't really like pink). Partly I want to be able to re-use as much as possible for future children and partly I hate the idea that certain colors are "only" for certain genders.

[lizajane]

i am totally with you!! i hate that society feels the need to assign gender identity by insisting that boys wear blue and play with trucks and girls wear pink and play with dolls. i am not going to run out and buy my son a pink outfit and a barbie doll, but if he ASKS me to buy him a doll, i will.

i get the whole "oh, i thought he was a girl because he has big eyes" thing, too. which is SO stupid because DH has big eyes and i have small eyes. the big eyes came from daddy!!

[kijip]

I made the same choice- we found out when our son was born. That way there was surprize AND we did not recieve too many "little man" outfits. I really wish we lived in a world where babies were just babies and not little gender stereotypes....

[californiagirl]

I know what you mean; we hate pink and besides, we got a lot of clothes hand-me-down from a boy, so almost all of DDs clothes are some kind of blue (even ones bought specially for her.) She's not yet 2 weeks, she doesn't care! But the nurses in the hospital wanted to know if we'd been expecting a boy because her sleepers had dinosaurs and navy blue trim. And the nurse at the pediatrician thought she was a boy in pale blue with a scalloped collar, which looked awfully girly to me. Meanwhile, I wear navy blue all the time, and DH objects violently even to deep bright pinks I'm OK with. Half her clothes have the hungry caterpillar on them, just because that line comes in nice colors and is easy to find (so we've gotten no less than 6 outfits from it as gifts). But of course even the pink one talks about "he" because the caterpillar is male.

Why are there so few things in purple for 0-3 months? Or girly clothes that aren't pink or overly frilly?