just having a lousy day

[sntm]

found out i did awfully on the big surgery exam. so now i feel inadequate on all fronts -- at work, at home, as a surgeon/wife/mother. called my mom for venting and she told me i read too much fun stuff and need to study more. oh, and i have to get jack out of my bed because dr. phil says it will ruin my sex life. what sex life? (ha ha)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[slknight]

Shannon, sorry you're having a bad day. If it's any consolation, Alex doesn't sleep in our bed, and we don't have a sex life anyway! Ha-ha. Hope your day gets better. (((Hugs)))

[ismommy]

Sorry about your day. We all have our inadequate feeling days so at least you have company
Helene
mommy to Isabella

[lizajane]

i am sorry, shannon. you are not inadequate, i am sure of that. i could never be a surgeon and a mother and a wife. shoot-i could never be a surgeon period.

you are smart and caring and don't let any ol' exam or dr phil tell you otherwise. if you want that baby in your bed, then you keep him there! you wouldn't tell dr phil where his kids should sleep, would you?!

i am having a lousy day, too. so i am empathetic. maybe we can commiserate next week- i will be in town wed-sun for the VA Book Festival (www.vabook.org).

[emilyf]

Sorry about the exam-if it's any consolation I think you're amazing. I have trouble getting my laundry done these days, much less a big surgery exam which I would imagine is not exactly easy. And don't you hate it when you go looking for sympathy and get advice? Dh does that all the time-drives me crazy.
Emily \r\nmom of Charlie born 11/02

[egoldber]

What a sucky day! If its any consolation I think you're amazing and I truly don't know how you do it!

[mik8]

Hi Shannon. Sorry to hear about your surgery exam. You're a great resident (really! having worked with you, I am genuinely telling the truth) and I know Rich P. had all but wonderful things to say about you. While I understand how it could be frustrating to hear about the exam. results, always remember that those tests are not the measure of one's worth and success. Oh, and btw tell Dr. Phil that sex doesn't have to be in bed, right? :P

[mik8]

Liza,

I'm excited for you! We used to live near Charlottesville, VA (actually worked there) and the book festival was one of my favorite events. Have fun!

[Jacksonvol]

Shannon,

I'm sorry you had a bad day. I can only imagine your work level. I vote you eat a pint of your favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor, read a mindless "fun" book and let Dr. Phil worry about his own sex life!

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Lisa

[barbarhow]

Boy, your Mom is tough! She wants you to be a wife, a mother, a surgeon and have sex too? Wow. And I'm with Susan-Jack sleeps in his own room and it doesn't seem to make much of a difference.
You tell your program director that we all think you are an awesome surgoen. and mother, and wife. And you tell your mom that the BBB is not "fun stuff" its very serious....most of the time...LOL
Sorry you had a sucky day and I hope tomorrow is better. Lots of hugs to you.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[Rachels]

(((Shannon)))

...and }( to your mom! Any of us would be lucky to have a doctor like you, and you're one of the most dedicated mamas around. Hang in there, hon.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02}

[pritchettzoo]

I'm sorry! I don't know how you do it (that book was good, BTW--thanks for the rec).

Oh, and I don't think having sex with Dr. Phil will make it better. ;)

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[papal]

Shannon, sorry you are having such a bad day.
Just seeing Jack for a couple of hours tells me what a great mom you are! He is the HAPPIEST baby i have ever seen.. truly.
And your advice on medical issues is always spot on so i know you are a great doctor.
Dr. Phil is a pseudo-psychiatrist jacka$$ in my opinion so what he says can basically be ignored (mostly he just repeats what the guest says with a question mark at the end. eg.
Guest: I am miserable and unhappy.
Dr Phil: You are miserable and unhappy, true??
YES YOU MORON, I JUST SAID THAT. )

I digress... what i am trying to say is.. HANG IN THERE. Tmmrw will be a better day!

[tarahsolazy]

Shannon:

Screw the ABSITE! (At least I bet that's what it was). My husband never did extremely well on it either, and he passed the written boards easily. I am sure you are adequate in every way, but I know how you feel. I have felt the same way, but now I have mother to add to the list, too, just like you! Hang in there.

[flagger]

Well Shannon, I think you are doing great. I know it can be done because my old neighbor managed to have two and was an Orthopedic resident with two boys 6 or 7 and 3.

But Jack in bed is the ultimate in birth control, so think of it that way. The glass can be half full.

[deborah_r]

And "How's that working for you, Rashmi?" LOL!

Shannon, you are awesome, and if you and your DH and Jack are happy in the bed, that's all that matters!

[newbelly2002]

Oh you HAVE to go! It's amazing. I miss it so much.

And, look up Liam Callanan while you're at it. He's doing a reading, and maybe a panel...

Shannon, I'm sorry your day was so rough. It's so hard when you get slammed on all fronts. But remember you're doing an amazing thing taking care of others, as well as Jack, as well as yourself. I can barely handle taking care of me, and certainly couldn't add the weight of the rest of the populations sickness' to the mix. And as for Dr. Phil--well, some folks just get off on telling other's what to do. When it happens on the street, you'd call it rude. When it happens on Oprah, you call it advice. :)

Hope today goes better!

Paula
Mama to Dante, 8/02

[cinrein]

Shannon, I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I think you are amazing and am in awe of what you manage to do in 1 day. I saw with my own eyes what a happy sweet baby Jack is and know you are doing something very right by him! Vent here sweetie--we won't tell you to study more!

Cindy and Anna 2/11/03

[sntm]

thanks everybody.

aimee, you started me crying again -- thanks for encouraging me. i know my strengths are patient care related, but it's hard since there aren't any objective measures of taking good care of patients like there are a percentile on a test.

tarah, it was the absite. glad to know this doesn't doom me to failure on the boards!

anna and flagger, thanks! "laughter through tears is my favorite emotion"

beth, emily, rashmi, helene, cindy, rachel, barbara, deborah, lisa, paula, susan -- thank you for being supportive. y'all are so wonderful. i don't know what i would do without my online support group! which reminds me, i have to email my mom's GYN to tell him she needs to go back on estrogen -- she was in rare form yesterday.

liza - i'm hoping to go to something for the book festival. look me up if you have a free moment. i'd love to meet you and schuyler. i promise we won't talk philosophy ;)

DH was awesome. He brought me flowers, was generally sweet to me all night, told me he will be trying to do more Jack-stuff if I feel overwhelmed, and told me I was in his 100th percentile (what a dork.) And we told Dr. Phil to go shove it last night :o

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[nitaghei]

Shannon,

Just saw this thread, and I'm sorry that you had such a rough day.

I agree with Rashmi and the others - you only have to take one look at Jack to know that you're an incredible mother.

And to h*ll with the exam. Exams are just a barrier to entry into the profession - your performance on a test is absolutely no indication of your ability. Know too many lousy attorneys who did well in law school! And worthless economists who did well in grad school.

Never watch Dr. Phil - but he has to be an idiot if he's on the idiot-box, right?

Glad that DH was so supportive. And call one of us if you need to vent!

Nita
mom to Neel, January 2003
dog mom to a cocker and a PWD

[Rachels]

LOL! Don't count on that birth control idea, Flagger. :) There's more than one place in the house for babymaking.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[McQ]

Coming to the party late too. Glad your night was better. It's nothing like coming home to a great husband and wonderful babe to put things into perspective. Don't let that other stuff get you down!

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Don't you ever think your inadequate on any of the fronts mentioned!!!! I have no doubt that you are marvelous in your profession and we know for a fact that you are marvelous as a mommy and wife!!!!


Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[KGoes]

Dr. Phil was a jury consultant in his past life. My old firm paid big bucks to hear him say things like "Since the judge is a woman, we recommend you incorporate the color lavender into your visual presentations" and "we have now ascertained that she likes to garden as a hobby - perhaps you could present polymers as flowers. . . ."
No kidding.
I once saw you post that being a working mom is a bittersweet thing - keep focussing on the sweet. The world needs all of the doctor/moms like you that we can get!!
Kelley
DD born 7/03

[jesseandgrace]

I totally agree with everyone, I think being a surgeon is very impressive even if one exam goes bad - and when you add being a mother to that it is downright amazing.