10 Month Old Throwing Fits

[Kieransmom]

Hi-
I was wondering if anyone else had a similar problem. My 10 1/2 month old son has been throwing fits since 9 months. Especially during diaper changes and tooth brushing. He is at his worst right before bedtime when we are changing his diaper and getting his jammies on. He writhes and flips all over the place and screams so wretchedly that you would think we were torturing him. He's been doing that for 2 weeks. It's been so bad it has taken the 2 of us to get him dressed. Once it's time for bed he's fine. Anyone have any suggestions?
Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[billysmommy]

I know exactly how you feel....Billy does the same thing....it's especially bad right before naps and bed but once the diaper is changed and he's dressed agian, he's fine. We've found a couple of different things that work. One is that if we change him while he is watching a Baby Einstein video he rarely causes any trouble....although we better watch out or he may associste the video with the diaper change :)
The other thing that has really helped is that they just came out with the Pampers Easy-ups in size 1T-2T. We have found that he will tolerate lying somewhat still for about 1 minute (so it's a quick diaper off and wipe up) and then he is fine if he can stand up. So we pull the diaper up and then dress him while he is standing. It's pretty funny to see him standing and cruising around with no diaper or pants on :) HTH some

[pritchettzoo]

I believe Burton White addresses this in his book, The New First Three Years of Life. I bought it after reading recommendations here and then checking it out of the library. I haven't read the next section yet though... So far, it is very easy to read and yet grounded in child development research.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[deborah_r]

Here's a summary of what Burton White says, but this is from "How to Raise a Happy, Unspoiled Child":

First, be prepared - have everything ready including some toys for distraction. Announce to baby it is time for a diaper change - do not apologize. Give baby something to hold/play with. If things are going well, chat with baby, have fun. However, if there is kicking and squirming "use your superior strength to get the job done, silently. Do not use any more words. Do not tell her that you are sorry, that the job will be finished in just a few moments." He goes on to say "Unfortunately, this is the classic example of when your concern (the reason you try to explain and console) only reinforces the resistance rather than minimizing it. It is remarkable how universal the resistance is and how much trouble parents get into around this experience."

He says your goal is to teach baby "total resignation to the inevitability of diapering" Treat it is something that has to be done, like inoculations. He says the baby needs to understand that you are in charge and that although you love your baby dearly and will give her what she wants most of the time, sometimes that won't happen.

He also mentions if the baby has a bad diaper rash, you need to be more indulgent. He calls diapering a "golden opportunity" to teach your child about living in her family.

End of summary.

This is working pretty well for us - diaper changes have gotten much more bearable. HTH

[C99]

This is what we do, too. Diaper changes are not negotiable.

[slknight]

Yep. Same here.

[Kieransmom]

Kai is a beautiful name for a boy!!! Thanks for the advice!

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[deborah_r]

Thanks, I needed that! Somone told me "that sounds like a girl's name" the other day. grrrrr

[lfp2n]

I could have posted this also as in the last few days I feel like I'm wrestling with DD and she just will not stay on her back for me to put her diaper on. She's so strong and mobile, she immediately rolls over to her stomach and tries to crawl off, I really feel that I will hurt her when I hold her down, added to that I've never really let her cry before and when she gets restrained she gets REALLY hysterical and starts that inhaling thing where you think they will never actually let out a cry but just suffocate and she looks at me like why are you doing this. Is this going to get worse or is it a passing phase?

Lucy (DD 3/27/03)

[houseof3boys]

Ditto here. We are following Burton White's advice and while Ryan still squirms about and screams and cries, it seems to be lessening in duration.

There is hope but be vigilent in consistency when these things happen throughout the day so there is no confusion for the baby.

Someone referred to the thrashing diaper changes as the "alligator death match" and I think that describes it perfectly! :)