Sooo Annoying people who offer what they would do in your shoes when you did not ASK them!!

[memedee]

For instance this happened yesterday.
"Oh you're pregnant. How far apart will your children be?"
"15 MONTHS" I would never do that as I wouldnt want to miss a single thing with current baby and the new baby will take away from current baby"
Well who asked you.
What would would you say?
I call these people ROMP.as in rain on my parade.
Why are so many people invested in sour grapes???

[papal]

Wow. That is SO RUDE!!!!! I cannot imagine what the person was thinking! Or perhap he/she was NOT thinking. I think these days, people feel that they must offer up their opinion on ANY topic, no matter how little they know about it. It is very annoying.

[ChicagoMama]

Dori,

I hear you!! I had the same thing happen to me when I was pg. with Sydney (my 2 DDs are 13 months apart). It's so rude. No one should rain on your parade.

Let me say what people should say: "Congratulations to you on your expected new addition!" I wish you the best of luck for an uneventful and pleasant pregnancy and delivery!


Becky

Mama to DDs Shelby 09/19/02 and Sydney 10/16/03

[ChicagoMama]

Dori,

I hear you!! I had the same thing happen to me when I was pg. with Sydney (my 2 DDs are 13 months apart). It's so rude. No one should rain on your parade.

Let me say what people should say: "Congratulations to you on your expected new addition!" I wish you the best of luck for an uneventful and pleasant pregnancy and delivery!


Becky

Mama to DDs Shelby 09/19/02 and Sydney 10/16/03

[memedee]

Congatulations to you on your two beautiful babies!!!!
What did you say to the rudeniks?

[skygoddess]

I totally understand, my kids are 15 months apart, and I get rude comments all the time. It started back when I was at the hospital laboratory to get a blood test to confirm my pregnancy with #2. I had my 6-month-old DD with me in the stroller. The lab receptionist looked at my paperwork to see why I was there, looked at DD, looked up at me and shrieked, "Oh, my GOD!!!" The comments continued throughout my pregnancy -- even the maternity ward nurses were shaking their heads and commenting about how busy I was going to be. I've learned to say things like, "Yes, we're having so much fun with these two, they're such a joy," and "Aren't they lucky to have a built-in playmate." What can you do, just let it roll off you and put a positive spin on it.

Good luck to you, it will be wonderful!

Nancy

[mom2kandj]

"My kids are the best of friends and have never known life without the other!" :)

FWIW, my kids are 16 1/2 months apart.

If you want a snarky response, try this one, "Thank goodness you didn't have TWINS!"


Rose
mom 2 Katie 12/02/00
& Jack 04/16/02

[ChicagoMama]

Well, this seems to be a bit of a theme today on the bitching post, but I actually don't handle rude comments like that very well. I usually responded pretty negatively/somewhat rudely myself! *blush* I would give a half-smile and say nothing, or I would say with obvious sarcasm "well, we are really so excited and looking forward to it" -- my face is an open book, and it's hard for me to mask my true emotions.

But inside and in my reality, I love the situation and wouldn't do it differently - I certainly blew off the comments, I just didn't respond to them very cleverly. I'm not clever or witty on the spot :)
Becky

Mama to DDs Shelby 09/19/02 and Sydney 10/16/03

[Sarah1]

SO, SO RUDE. I am continuously amazed by people's rudeness. It's unbelievable. SO many people just don't THINK before opening their big fat mouths.

[deborah_r]

And it's so ridiculous too, that they comment on something that is DONE already! If you're pregnant, you're pregnant, it's done, the baby is coming.

Someone said to me about my son's name "That sounds like a girl's name". Wow, you know, you probably could have just thought that in your head and done a little filter before speaking. The filter would be "Can what I have to say have any positive, constructive impact?" NO! Because it's already his name and we're not changing it because some person I barely know thinks it sounds like a girl's name.

Some people want everyone else to live *exactly* like they do, but how boring would that be? And then who could they be "better than"??

Sorry they were rude to you!

[pritchettzoo]

Yeah. I'd have a hard time not being a witch with a capital B on that one. That kind of comment can't even be anything else (I'm thinking that if I were you I'd be pregnant now and holy cats--I don't know what I'd do, but my comment would only be thinking that you're brave and all I want to do is SLEEP, not about your personal choices!) How about, "Oh my gosh! You're right! Would you like him/her instead? I guess I could just leave him at the hospital..." and then laughing--so you could play it off as a joke while stabbing them with eye-daggers. }(

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you enjoy your babies in whatever time frame they come!

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[memedee]

Thank you !
So true about who would they be better than.

[lizajane]

how about...

"i am giving my first child the best gift i could give. a playmate and a best friend."

[starrynight]

People like that are the reason this was said:

"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

Anyway,sorry someone was a jackarse to you. Congrats and good luck with your pregnancy.

My girls are 18 months apart, I have heard it too! I got so sick of people saying "oh your gonna have your hands full" that I started to say back either "well that's better than empty" or if I was feeling particularly snarky I would say "well I could just give this kid to you and that would solve the hands full problem wouldn't it." Of course that was said to my one neighbor that constantly said the hands full thing.

[ivparker]

I just wanted to say that my sister and I are 10 1/2 months apart and it is awesome. I think her comment about taking away from your experience with your first is more of a selfish one. I think it is going to be a lot harder on you than on the kids. I actually think it will be great for them! Just think of yourself as a wonderful selfless mom.
Ivanna

[Vajrastorm]

> I would never do that as I wouldnt want to miss a
>single thing with current baby and the new baby will take away
>from current baby"
>Well who asked you.
>What would would you say?

(Looking sincere): "Oh, I believe that giving babies too much attention spoils them anyhow"

[AngelaS]

OOH, I'm feeling snarky....

How about:

"I've found that people who grow up without a close in age sibling go around saying rude and thoughtless things to other people because they never had to learn to be nice". sweet smile....

Bwaahahahaha!

[memedee]

Very funny
Dont think I could get it out but wouldnt it be great to say!!!

[StaceyKim]

My kids are going to be 15 months apart and the ANNOYING comments never end such as:
"Wow, you are going to have your hands full!"
"oh, I wouldn't want them that close because I want to focus all the precious time on my one child". I get that one a lot!!!
It's irritating but I know that these people must have jealousy issues or they wouldn't be so rude.
I told someone I was having a pony ride party for my DS who will be 1 and she told me she thought her daughter would be way too young to have a pony party at 1. Well, good for you!
I get so many annoying comments not even related to pregnancy. I just ignore them and spend as little time with those people as possible.

[jk3]

Having a 2nd will enrich the life of your first. The person probably didn't mean to be rude but some people have a hard time understanding that life is experienced differently from person to person. I think it's wonderful you are having two close in age-friends for life! This person probably couldn't handle two so don't take it personally. People who are able to comment freely when unsolicited just like to give their opinion so don't take it personally. (Easier to say than to do I'm sure...)

My DS is 10 months old + I would be thrilled to be expecting again. I wish you all of the best!

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

I like to say "Well we want to have 12 and so we're just popping them out!"
Another thing that bugs me is when they say "was it a mistake?" or "wow you sure didnt think this through did you?"
I tell them, yes I did, if I had waited until my DD was two, I NEVER would have wanted another child, LOL!
Or how about, oh, you're pregnant, "are you excited?" ~no I'm totally devastated..gee what do you think!
Just had to rant a little!
ETA: Just to make it clear, I personally do NOT want 12, I can barely ahndle two!

[chlobo]

Totally rude.

I personally would just thing you must be a very strong individual. I'm having a hard time with my one spirited 5 month old. I can't imagine another so close in age so I'd consider you a wonderwoman!

[Eloise36]

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Your new baby will bring so much joy into your family.

These people are ignorant, thoughtless and rude... They have no idea what they are talking about and I'm sure blurted out that stuff without thinking, that's if they were thinking at all. Hard as it is, sometimes you just have to let this stuff roll off your back. Don't let them spoil your day!

[jesseandgrace]

I can't imagine anyone would tell a parent with twins that they won't get to enjoy one of the babies because there are two. The other thing is EVERY family i know with kids this close has had a very good experience.

[hellosmiletoday]

Just wanted to say that my reaction would probably be a "wow" too, but not in a bad way...I would be amazed and admire having two children close in age. My first is due in May, so just one seems like a handful. My "wow" would be motivated by the admiration for willing to work so hard to raise two babies close in age, going through two pregnancies without much of a break (i.e. morning sickness and labor doubled). I can't imagine that anyone would think that you are loosing precious time with one...the babies are gaining so much more b/c they will likely be very close friends when older.

I'm also annoyed at how freely people provide their opinion. When its a stranger you just ignore it, but when its a coworker, family or friend, its quite fustrating.