I hate my dogs (really long, just need to vent)

[Vajrastorm]

I could swear up and down a storm at the moment. I am so sick and tired of my dogs. :(

Let me preface this by saying I am not a careless dog owner. I read about dog training and breeds before I got our first dog. Both my dogs are crate trained and have been through 3 obedience classes each. The dog I'm about to kill today has actually passed her canine good citizen test.

Nonetheless, it is one thing after another. So much g-d-mn money I've spent between the two of them. I could go and on boring you with the list...

Yesterday I came home to find my smaller dog, Sasha, in my house. (She's 55 lbs, not truly small). And a hole in one of my screen doors. After a frantic check to make sure all 3 indoor cats are accounted for, I realize I can no longer leave my sliding glass doors open to the screen. Today I go out and come back to find Sasha greeting me at the front door. $^&$& She came in through a screened window. Keep in mind, this dog usually wants to be OUTSIDE during the day. So now I can't open any frigging windows??????

This is the same dog that engineered her way out of my yard a million times. It ultimately ended with a brand new 6 ft fence + 6 inches of board dug into the ground (over $10,000) but there were many "solutions" before that. Including a not cheap dog run that we eventually tore down because it was useless. She went under chain link, through chicken wire contraptions, over the 5 ft wooden fence with the help of a bush, and eventually over the 5 ft fence all by herself. Most of this in order to attack my neighbor's dogs, and also because she could. (Yes, she's dog aggressive despite intensive socialization.)

She's a smart dog, and once she figures something out she won't give up. So now I can never trust her with screens. I'm at my wits end. Day to day life with the both of them (each have different problem areas) is driving me insane. Aine is an intense baby that needs a lot from me, and it is hard enough meeting her needs, let alone keeping the gdd (g. d@mn dogs) under control.

I don't feel like I can get rid of them - when I take an animal into my care, I make a commitment to it. But I wish I had never ever gotten dogs. I love them, but they make me miserable. It doesn't help that I'm sleep deprived and drained, and my childhood cat (living with my mom) had to be put down this weekend at the age of 20. I knew him for 20 years ... he was the most special animal I've ever known.

Baby's waking, thus ends this novel.

[toomanystrollers]

Oh Andrie,
Sorry to hear about your kitty :( I can definitely understand the "pain-in-the butt" dog days. We have two labs and they were our "first babies", but sadly I find them more work than ever.

Any chance there's a doggy daycare nearby? Or an inexpensive dog-walker?

[papal]

Andrie... sorry your doggies are giving you such a hard time! I wish I lived near you, i would have taken them for a walk to get them out of your hair for a while.
And SO sorry about your cat. I hope things improve and the dogs start behaving themselves. I can imagine it is so much work, taking care of the baby and the dogs and cats.. i really don't know how you do it!

[JElaineB]

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat! It sounds like he lived a good long life. Hugs! And sorry your dogs are such a problem. I know what you mean about making a committment to them. That is why I don't think we'll ever have a dog. They seem like they can be so much work. Cats are more than enough for me! I hope you can figure something out to to make life with them easier.

Jennifer
mom to Jacob 9/27/02

[egoldber]

I feel your pain. I love my dog dearly, but I truly wish we had NEVER gotten a dog now. DD scares the crap out of her, she's dog aggressive, she makes my cats lives miserable, and she is a barking fiend. And yes, my dog is also obedience trained with an obedience title. She was a great little dog before we had a child, but frankly its a drain on me to keep up with the dog now. But we will never get rid of her. And I feel bad, because I know I'm not the best dog owner to her now either.

And I am so sorry to hear about your kitty. That's very hard.

[stella]

So sorry - and I totally understand. She may just have to be crated while you're away - it's not as if you haven't tried to give her her freedom -

I have 3 dogs, 2 cats, and 2 children 2 and under. It is wild around here and I feel nothing but alternating guilt and aggravation with the whole crew. I am TRYING to walk my dogs several times a week. NOw that the weather is warmer, they are outside almost full-time. 2 of them are rescue dogs who were housebroken, but have regressed in their elimination habits and feel the need to mark (they're females!). As a result, our very expensive wool carpet is disgusting and has to be cleaned all the time, and I feel guilty, but what would CPS say to my children wallowing in filth?

I did walk them today and I feel good about it, but it's such a vicious cycle - they're wild because they get no attention, they get no attention because they're wild.

It is si hard!! And I am a memebr of our city's animal services board and am actually presenting at city council tomorrow on a spay/neuter issue. I am a former officer of our humane society board. I was smart enough to discontinue that board when I had the first baby. And I am a big proponent of animal rights - and now I turn out like this??? Someone who keeps her dogs in teh backyard and never pays any attention to them. At least two are behind on vaccinations, but I can't remember which two... it's a sad state of affairs.

I defintely sympathize with you! hang in there! And how I used to speak out against those who had a baby and then decided they could no longer keep their pets...

[Vajrastorm]

I can't imagine having TWO children and this many pets. I have 3 cats in addition to the two dogs, and (since the baby) one of them has been having "inapropriate elimination" problems as well as throwing up on a daily basis. So I relate - I spend more time cleaning up after animals than I do after people. A good day is a day I don't have to clean up puke or pee. [Funny aside - the dog beds are a frequent target, and so one one the dogs started peeing on his bed too. A literal pissing contest]

The funny thing is, I'd happily take the dogs for walks more ofte but the bigger of my dogs is fearful, and makes a huge scene when he sees another dog or cat. The whole "If I act aggressive the enemy might be fooled" approach. On leash, people think he's the dog aggressive one, and my little fighter looks like a princess. So every walk is a training exercise. He's come a long way, but I still have to be prepared to head off the lunging and barking that he tends to do.

I love them all, but have to admit I took on too many needy animals.

I do feel better after getting in a nap - bless this baby, she NEVER lets me nap, but today she must have known I needed it. We cuddled up together and had 2 HOURS (!!!!!!) of beloved sleep.

Thanks everyone who replied.

- feeling like a new human being despite living in a zoo -

[amp]

Andrie - First, let me say that I am sorry about the loss of your cat. I lost one last year and it tore me apart!

Also, I understand the frustration and ambivalence that occurs when you are and avid animal lover who wants to take the best care of your animals, but feel you can't or aren't because of their behavior, and the added stress of a baby. We've been through that with our oldest cat. He frustrates the daylights out of us, and we love him dearly, but we hate the way he seems so darned miserable all the time. I know he misses the attention he got before baby, but geez....

I just try to remind myself that those cats were my babies first and I should try to find time and ways to show them the love they were used to before Jake came along. They deserve that...even when it's not easy.

Anyway...hugs...I can commiserate with your frustration.

[houseof3boys]

I'm so sorry for your frustration. I feel your pain! We had to put Gordon, our hound, on anti-anxiety medicine because he would tear up the house any time I left. He has destroyed many many many nice things and since the medication it has lessened to two instances of "digging" at the wool rug and damaging it. I hate the idea of medication but I had to see if this would work since my frustration level was out of control when I walked into the house to see his latest project.

I hope things get better soon!

[chlobo]

I'm so sorry about your cat and sorry that you are having such a hard time with your dogs.

Do you have a relative that she might be able to spend some time with to give you a break?

Hang in there. I hope it will get better.

[JLiebCamm]

I totally empathize with you. I love my dog but she's a big pain in the butt and since DS arrived, all of her little annoying traits are magnified tenfold. She barks like a rabid dog at people walking past the house (and I live across from a park so this is frequent), scratches up all of our woodwork by jumping, goes to the bathroom on the carpet when she feels like ticking us off, plants herself on top of me or my pillow when I'm asleep, steals food off the table, and sheds everywhere! DH gets so mad at me because I complain, telling me that I need to "show the dog some love". I do love her and would be devastated if anything ever happened to her, but at the same time I wish that we never would have gotten her in the first place. It's very frustrating!

[cimberdog]

I feel your pain...MY Canine Good Citizen swissy dog vomits on the floor every time we steam clean it, (and guess why we need to steam clean it???), eats any and all pacifiers, sippy cups and random yet expensive toys (how she knows which are the most expensive I don't know), chews up the front rug (the biggest and most expensive one) and tears up the front window trim and drywall each time the doorbell rings. I love her but I hate her!!!!! And, she's on a Rx for incontinence - so pee on the floor on top of it all.

Our lab is the most hyper female ever. She';s been through FOUR YEARS of obedience training. She's great in the obedience ring - almost flawless, but the minute she's at home or wants to greet a person it's exhuberance to the point of annoyance. She has UTI's and allergies thus resulting in an expensive Rx food. And let's not forget she's a poop eater who then comes in and throws it up on the carpet (another reason to steam clean which causes the other dog to vomit).

I SO HATE coming home to messes and destruction. Ours too are both crate trained and obedience trained but I keep giving them chances feeling like they shouldn't have to be crated. Most of this started after we moved into our brand new house last year. Cripes it's been a year already - get used to it!!! You know we have one 18x16 patch of carpet - the rest is wood floors on our main level, but guess where all the pee, vomit and poop barf goes???

AGGHHHHH!

So I don't have any calming words - just total empathy!

[Momof3Labs]

First, I want to say that I can relate to many of your feelings. We have two dogs and one cat and they have definitely taken the back seat to Colin, but (despite that they are all rescues) they fortunately don't have as much emotional baggage as some of the dogs described here. But I know how hard it is, believe me when I say that I've been there.

Another thing, to the OP, it is soooo hard when you lose a pet that is dear to you. Anger is one stage of the grieving process, and it is very normal to get angry at the pets that are still alive and *gasp* wish that they were gone instead of the dear one that you lost. I experienced this for a long time after losing my first Lab and then a second Lab within a year. It is normal, and it does pass. My sympathies to you, and healing thoughts to your heart.

But I wanted to say this - to no one in particular, just to throw the thought out. I am all for having pets for life, and feel that is the way it should be in an ideal world, which this isn't. If your pet's happiness is being severely compromised, you owe it to your pet, to yourself and to your children (who learn from your actions) to make your home a happy place for all family members - including your pets. When we adopt pets and make a committment to keep them for life, IMO that committment includes keeping them *happy* for life.

And if that can't or won't work, then it might be time to consider finding the pet a new home where they can be happy for the rest of their years. IMO this should be a last resort, but I truly believe that it is preferable to keeping a pet in a situation that is making them miserable and not taking steps to alleviate their misery.

Now, for a practical, inexpensive suggestion, has anyone tried this:

For dogs:

http://commerce.omahavaccine.com/single_product_display.cfm?id=10880

For cats:

http://commerce.omahavaccine.com/single_product_display.cfm?id=10864

I've heard mixed reviews on it (either it works great or does nothing), but it isn't expensive and might help a lot for anxiety-prone pets!

[cimberdog]

Thanks for the info-but I feel I should clarify that what you are reading is just a vent - not a lifelong problem with (my dogs). I suppose when reading my post, one could surmise that our dogs are neglected, banished or unloved. But it's not the case. They are actually a rather large part of our lives and very much loved. We've invested a lot of time, money and energy to making them part of our pack, and I guess I just want to make sure that a vent isn't being read as "I need to get rid of my dogs".

I don't despise my dogs at all - I was venting:) I am actually a founding member and on the BOD of a local dog club, so I've actually had heavy involvement and dealings with many behaviors over the years; I still love them, but I still hate some of their behaviors! This stuff is just surface stuff - the messes and destruction. I KNOW why my dogs are behaving this way (first child, change in routine and new house), but they are still very much our pals and the problems are being addressed as we would any other behavioral problem with our pooches. I just wanted to be clear that they are not neglected or unloved, but every once in awhile they drive me batty and I have to vent!

[Vajrastorm]

Lori - I understand what you're saying about happy pets. Queen Destructo, however, seems on the whole pretty happy. Her behavior is suitinng HER just fine. Grumblegrrrgrumble.

Today I came home ... no dog in the house, but the intact sliding screen door (we have two sliding glass doors to the back) was ripped off its track and has a fantastic huge hole ripped through it. It was about halfway open (the glass portion was shut completely), so it isn't as though it was between her and the point of entry. She is, it seems, very proud of her new skill. So now, even when the dogs are crated, I can't get air in my house. (Lest the cats escape)

This all feels so surreal I keep thinking I'm going to wake up.

I just feel so defeated. My dogs aren't neglected. I take time to play in the yard with them every day (baby on my hip) and they get pats and smooches and loves. I have friends who, with out much thought, ended up with 3 dogs in a rental and a tiny yard. Never trained the dogs, never walk them - and yet things turned out just fine. And here I am, having carefully thought out the timing and training of dogs vs. baby, etc. etc. Is it luck of the draw? Or did the universe send Queen Destructo and Sir Whines a Lot to me because lets face it, how many people are willing or able to spend the kind of money we have to keep them safe and happy? I think most people would've sent them on their merry way a long time ago.

[Momof3Labs]

As I said, my post was not directed at anyone specifically (it wasn't even a reply to your post, cimberdog, so I'm not sure why you took it that way), I was just throwing that out as food for thought to everyone reading and posting in this thread. So, please, no one needs to defend themselves to me (or anyone else here) or "prove" that they are good pet owners, okay??

[Kieransmom]

First of all, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your cat. It must be so hard.

Second of all I think some of the girls are right...maybe they need to be walked or get some more excercise to release some of that energy. Some dogs just need more. A dog walker may be a great idea or even if you can find a kid in the neighborhood you trust (sounds like you'd need an older kid though by how big and powerful they are) to help you out. It's not easy with dogs and a baby.

I really am happy that you're a person that makes a commitment to their animals. So many people just dump them. As a shelter volunteer for years I've seen what happens. It's such a sad situation.

But yes, try a dog walker or doggie daycare so they can get plenty of excercise. That might help.

Good luck. Please keep us posted!
Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[cimberdog]

No I didn't take your post as though you were directing it at me, but I also realize this is a vents section and sometimes when you are exasperated, it's tough to have someone post about how you should try this, consider that, here are some resources, etc. I've seen so many people start becoming critical (on various boards or lists) of what kind of pet owner you may or may not be when you are simply posting a vent, that's all :)

On another topic, I have never seen or heard of the plug in you posted - that's a great idea!

[Vajrastorm]

Oh about the feliway - we have that in our living room as a part of Operation Don't Pee on my Couch. We got it at the same time we moved a litter box into the room, and between the two there have only been 1-2 incidents of bad kitty. I don't know if its due to the Feliway or the litter box, but things have improved.

[kransden]

ROTFLMAO! "Queen Destructo and Sir Whines a Lot". LOL life just isn't fair is it. My favorite cat is El Barfo.
Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[Momof3Labs]

If you read back through the threads, I'm not the first or only person who made suggestions on this topic. Nor was I trying to judge anyone as a pet owner because even with my own bank of knowledge as a pet owner and rescue worker, I'm rarely the perfect pet owner that I want to be. Again, my post wasn't in reply to your vent, it was just part of this thread of posts, and I don't see why it was inappropriate.

[Vajrastorm]

>ROTFLMAO! "Queen Destructo and Sir Whines a Lot". LOL life
>just isn't fair is it. My favorite cat is El Barfo.
>Karin and Katie 10/24/02

I think we have the same cat :D

[ritacheetah]

>>ROTFLMAO! "Queen Destructo and Sir Whines a Lot". LOL life
>>just isn't fair is it. My favorite cat is El Barfo.
>>Karin and Katie 10/24/02
>
>I think we have the same cat :D

Too funny. I've also got El Barfo the cat and Sir Whines a Lot the big wimpy greyhound. Gotta think of a good name for my other cat, "Captain Brings Live Lizards and Rats into the House."


Live long and prosper,
Tracy
Mom to Victoria, 12/20/03

[Vajrastorm]

she jumped/climbed my 6 foot fence, the one we built in order to contain her. (the city would not let us go any higher, although we would have preferred 7 ft.)

She did it while I was home, after *asking* to go outside.

Queen Destructo is unstoppable.

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry about your kitty. AND I can totally understand how you feel. We had 2 cats before Ds, and have felt many of the same things you're saying. I often wonder how those with 1+ children can continue to take on so many pets so happily. As a matter of fact, we have one miserable and lonely cat right now b/c her best kitty friend died and I feel so badly for her, but I just can't bring myself to get ANOTHER cat again (plus that there's no guarantee they'll get a long).