I don't understand my husband

[chlobo]

So we are going through this really torturous sleep problem with DD. She's night waking and sometimes the only way to get her to sleep is to have her sleep on one of us. So rather than have her snick snack on me all night long, which seems to make her gassy and even more uncomfortable, my husband has been taking the shift in her room at "the bed".

Well tonight the baby woke at 8:50 and wouldn't go back to sleep so my husband comes in and says "I guess I'll get ready for bed" (meanwhile the baby is crying in the crib). He proceeds to take about 20 minutes to get ready, all the while the baby is crying and then he "forbids" me to go in and comfort her for fear that she will smell the breastmilk and will only be consoled by that.

Why does he think that 20 minutes of crying is "ok", especially if we're trying to get her to go back to sleep? The other night I practically had to fight him to get her away. She just wasn't calming down and I went to take her from him so I could comfort nurse her and he says "I'll fix this". For goodness sake, she's a baby not a household project. Honestly, I don't understand what goes through his mind.

[redhookmom]

I am so sorry that you guys have to deal with this while you are sleep deprived.

When my DH and I disagree on a parenting issue I usually say something like: "Based on ALL that I have read and more importantly my instinct, I have to..." He usually respects my thoughts. We USUALLY can come to a mutual choice.

[Sarah1]

Well, I know what you mean about not understanding what's going through your DH's mind...I feel the same way sometimes.
I also will say, that even though it can be really tough NOT to second-guess what my DH does w/DD, I have found that it's pointless. He and I are not the same person, we do things differently, and if I want him to be involved w/DD, sometimes I just have to bite my tongue and remind myself that his heart is in the right place, that he's trying to help...just give him the benefit of the doubt, even if he's doing something I wouldn't do.

Not to take anything at all away from your vent...because I know just what you mean...but I just think you have to save your energy for the bigger battles!

Best of luck to you with the sleeping! :)