Melanie
04-25-2004, 02:36 AM
So, I posted before about Dh & MIL and the shakey relationship:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=18&topic_id=7565&mesg_id=7565&listing_type=search
Well, Dh decided on his own to just talk to her and lay out how he's feeling. Of course, she turned it into "Well I guess I'M JUST A HORRIBLE PERSON" type of thing, totally missing the point. He basically just wanted to unload his feelings on her about his childhood baggage, it wasn't a "I hate you and never want to see you again" type of thing. He even said she's welcome to come and visit Ds when she launched into a poor-me-my-grandson-hardly-will-know-me whine.
Two weeks go by, he's not heard a thing from her and then, of course, message on the answering machine for ME wanting to get together on her day off. I procrastinate until a couple of days later and call her back, basically saying we can't get together on her days off (we really can't) but she is welcome to come by after work sometime. Then she goes into "are you sure? Dh sounded like he didn't want to see me? blah blah blah I guess I'm a terrible person...blah blah blah...I always felt I was too much on HIS side...blah blah...he hurt my feeligns terribly" Okay. I just said I'm sure it would be fine. She goes on. "Okay, I'll check with him to be sure."
ARGH! I feel so badly for Dh, I know she's just turning it into a "poor-me" type of thing and not even caring about his feelings. Anyway...
Does she REALLY think I'm not only going to get into the middle but that I'm going to be ON HER SIDE? I'm trying hard to pretend to be neutral b/c I think you were all right before that I'll end up the evil-daughter-in-law long after they've made up.
Anymore advice? I *REALLY* don't want to hang out with her on my own or leave Ds with her unattended for much time, KWIM? I don't want her dragging me into this because she's so not going to like what I have to say. I figure now she's waiting for ME to call her back to say it's okay with HER son that she come over when HE's Home. *eyeroll*
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=18&topic_id=7565&mesg_id=7565&listing_type=search
Well, Dh decided on his own to just talk to her and lay out how he's feeling. Of course, she turned it into "Well I guess I'M JUST A HORRIBLE PERSON" type of thing, totally missing the point. He basically just wanted to unload his feelings on her about his childhood baggage, it wasn't a "I hate you and never want to see you again" type of thing. He even said she's welcome to come and visit Ds when she launched into a poor-me-my-grandson-hardly-will-know-me whine.
Two weeks go by, he's not heard a thing from her and then, of course, message on the answering machine for ME wanting to get together on her day off. I procrastinate until a couple of days later and call her back, basically saying we can't get together on her days off (we really can't) but she is welcome to come by after work sometime. Then she goes into "are you sure? Dh sounded like he didn't want to see me? blah blah blah I guess I'm a terrible person...blah blah blah...I always felt I was too much on HIS side...blah blah...he hurt my feeligns terribly" Okay. I just said I'm sure it would be fine. She goes on. "Okay, I'll check with him to be sure."
ARGH! I feel so badly for Dh, I know she's just turning it into a "poor-me" type of thing and not even caring about his feelings. Anyway...
Does she REALLY think I'm not only going to get into the middle but that I'm going to be ON HER SIDE? I'm trying hard to pretend to be neutral b/c I think you were all right before that I'll end up the evil-daughter-in-law long after they've made up.
Anymore advice? I *REALLY* don't want to hang out with her on my own or leave Ds with her unattended for much time, KWIM? I don't want her dragging me into this because she's so not going to like what I have to say. I figure now she's waiting for ME to call her back to say it's okay with HER son that she come over when HE's Home. *eyeroll*