chlobo
04-29-2004, 09:18 PM
So my mother and I have always had an uneasy relationship. She basically left me on my own my entire childhood. She had her own business that was based out of our basement, but I was basically a latch-key kid b/c she chose to act like she worked outside the home. So anyhow, she was not a model parent and I had years of therapy to make me "ok".
It doesn't stop her from trying to give me endless advice, though. She has been on a supplementation kick for the longest time. DD is exclusively breastfed but also a slow grower. She's 12 lbs at 6 months. However, the pediatrician is NOT concerned. He said she looks very well proportioned and he has never once mentioned supplementing.
Today my mother went to the pediatrician with me about a rash problem. DD has had a night waking problem, after 2 months of consistently sleeping 11-12 hours/night. So my mother asked him if he thought we should start solids (because if she's waking she must be hungry). This is exactly what he said "secondary nightwaking (which is nightwaking that comes after the baby had been sleeping through the night) is sometimes an indication that the baby is ready for solid foods". He also talked about what solids (single grain cereal) and how, etc. Somehow, my mother interpreted that to mean I should be giving solids AND I should be supplementing with formula. Obviously, if the baby is waking at night she *MUST* be starving, there could be no other explanation. And so and so [insert anectodtal story about relative who supplemented a baby who then got up and walked the next day] supplements so it must work. In fact all our relatives supplemented and started solids at birth and their children slept through the night the very next day.
Well this went on and on and on until the baby started to fuss. She was a little hungry but as we were 10 minutes from home I decided to just go home and nurse there in case she wanted to sleep after, which would have been difficul to do at the doctor's office. Well then I was inundated with how the baby was hungry and how could I be so awful and why didn't I just stop and feed her and if I only brought a bottle with me *SHE* could feel her *WHILE* I drove and they did that when I was a kid and we lived so what was wrong with that and whoever heard of leaving the house without a bottle (who does that?) and she bets I'm shrinking her stomach by denying her food when she's hungry and why don't I take any of her advice, after all she raised me and I turned out ok so maybe, just maybe she does know something and on and on it went.
And then, of course, there was the obligatory "why didn't you listen to me and become a doctor because you could have such an easy life now like your cousins". And she went on to talk about how my cousins are able to buy so many things and how our life could have been easy like theirs if only we'd listened to her.
It was maddening. I just don't know what to do. I finally said to her that I'm not going to spend time with her and neither is the baby if I have to listen to her endless harrassment. And why does she thinks solids will provide so much extra nutrition. She'll only be eating very small amounts for quite some time and will still be getting the bulk of her nutrition from breastmilk. Why o why can't she understand that?
It doesn't stop her from trying to give me endless advice, though. She has been on a supplementation kick for the longest time. DD is exclusively breastfed but also a slow grower. She's 12 lbs at 6 months. However, the pediatrician is NOT concerned. He said she looks very well proportioned and he has never once mentioned supplementing.
Today my mother went to the pediatrician with me about a rash problem. DD has had a night waking problem, after 2 months of consistently sleeping 11-12 hours/night. So my mother asked him if he thought we should start solids (because if she's waking she must be hungry). This is exactly what he said "secondary nightwaking (which is nightwaking that comes after the baby had been sleeping through the night) is sometimes an indication that the baby is ready for solid foods". He also talked about what solids (single grain cereal) and how, etc. Somehow, my mother interpreted that to mean I should be giving solids AND I should be supplementing with formula. Obviously, if the baby is waking at night she *MUST* be starving, there could be no other explanation. And so and so [insert anectodtal story about relative who supplemented a baby who then got up and walked the next day] supplements so it must work. In fact all our relatives supplemented and started solids at birth and their children slept through the night the very next day.
Well this went on and on and on until the baby started to fuss. She was a little hungry but as we were 10 minutes from home I decided to just go home and nurse there in case she wanted to sleep after, which would have been difficul to do at the doctor's office. Well then I was inundated with how the baby was hungry and how could I be so awful and why didn't I just stop and feed her and if I only brought a bottle with me *SHE* could feel her *WHILE* I drove and they did that when I was a kid and we lived so what was wrong with that and whoever heard of leaving the house without a bottle (who does that?) and she bets I'm shrinking her stomach by denying her food when she's hungry and why don't I take any of her advice, after all she raised me and I turned out ok so maybe, just maybe she does know something and on and on it went.
And then, of course, there was the obligatory "why didn't you listen to me and become a doctor because you could have such an easy life now like your cousins". And she went on to talk about how my cousins are able to buy so many things and how our life could have been easy like theirs if only we'd listened to her.
It was maddening. I just don't know what to do. I finally said to her that I'm not going to spend time with her and neither is the baby if I have to listen to her endless harrassment. And why does she thinks solids will provide so much extra nutrition. She'll only be eating very small amounts for quite some time and will still be getting the bulk of her nutrition from breastmilk. Why o why can't she understand that?