It feels like "Toddler Colic" ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

[millerpjm]

My sweet, low maintenance, easygoing 15 month old has suddenly turned into a crying machine! I pick him up at daycare at 4:15 (where he has been happy all day), and he fights me to get in the carseat. He usually cries halfway to all the way home, and cries again at home until I feed him (unless I let him wander all over the house and play in the bathroom, etc.). He is happy when I feed him, but then after dinner he wandera around crying again until we put him to bed (which is getting earlier each night). He is usually pretty good if we go out or go see my husband's parents that live in town - it seems like he is the most unhappy at home. For a working mom, having a child who would rather be at daycare than at home is torture!! What should I do??? Has this ever happened to anyone else?? I want my sweet baby back!

Jen

Proud mamato Thomas 2/3/03

[bluej]

Is he teething? He may be distracted at daycare with all of the activity, but then when he has some down time he might notice the pressure of some new teeth making their way through.

[C99]

This is totally normal, even though it totally sucks. My 15-m/o is like this too, and I'm a SAHM. We leave the house every day, sometimes multiple times in a day, just to avoid the overattachment/bored w/ home/clingy stuff. I don't think it's that your son is happier at daycare; I think he just recognizes that he can get away with more w/ mom at home and/or he wants all of mom's attention, all of the time, when you're both home. I know that this latter part is true for us; tonight, he followed me around the kitchen screaming and crying while I made dinner.

I posted this yesterday in another post. It comes from the Babycenter.com e-mails. My husband and I both get them and we each sent it to the other one, without knowing that the other had already read it, because it sounds so much like our son right now:

Whining, screaming, and yelling: If your 15-month-old has started
sounding like a hyena or worse, you're experiencing his intense desire
to interact with you. Children thrive on their parents' attention, and
a toddler this age will do just about anything to get yours. His
tactics may try your nerves even if you're one of the most patient
parents around.

[redhookmom]

I read somewhere, sometime that toddlers do this with their Moms because they feel safe. I am sure he feels some stress in his life and lets it out when he feels safest. He has a job to do at daycare and has to perform, in a little guy kind of way.

Maybe you can establish some sort of quiet ritual when you get home. Something that will let both of you destress a little.

[Jenmv]

My 16 month old is acting the exact same way right now. I keep hoping that it is teething but I don't see anything new in her mouth. Maybe it is just the age but it sucks! She wasn't this clingy even as a baby. A part of me wants to be able to just enjoy the fact that she needs me but on the other hand it is almost impossible to get anything done. DH and I work split shifts so she's not in daycare and she still acts this way. DH is home with her during the day and lately she's been driving him crazy with the clinginess. It would be one thing if she has always been like this but its hard when its such a dramatic shift from how she used to act. I feel bad for her though, because I think she is struggling with her new found independence. It's like she is figuring out what she wants but can't comunicate it and as a result she just walks around with a very short fuse all day!

Hang in there, hopefully this is just a phase.

[Kimberly H]

My 17 month old is the same way! This is exactly why this age is my favorite...and my least favorite all at the same time ;)

You can see the frustration in Mia and can watch the mood escalate. You have to admit that it would royally stink to want to say something or do something and not have the words to explain it or the motor ability to do it. Add to that a need to sleep longer and already be going to be at 7pm and refuse to nap longer than an hour and you have a toddler who's a ticking timebomb.

BUT she also wants to be kissed and cuddled a lot and initiates it herself, which is something new for us.

This stage does end and I have 2 teenagers to prove it. Then again, I tell my 13 year old he's a tall toddler - moody, doesn't have the words to say what he wants, totally frustrated, yet incredibly loving. Hang in there!!

[alkagift]

Jen,
Dr. Brazelton talks about this in one of his books and the previous poster was right, it's sort of a release of tension and a flood of emotions--it's his way of expressing relief that you're there and how much he loves you--the after dinner whining just might be tiredness, too. In no way does he like daycare more!!!

Allison
Mommy to Matthew Clayton, 5/19/03