Yes, I KNOW you told me so.....

[KYBelle1102]

DH & I adopted our DS. We were in the delivery room when he was born and it was amazing. I had pretty well accepted that was as close as I was going to come to experiencing childbirth. Spencer just turned 8 months old. Now, much to my surprise, I found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant (now 10 1/2 weeks pg). Apparently, DH and I are the only ones surprised by this news because EVERYONE "knew this would happen as soon as you adopted a baby." Funny, I never saw adoption listed as a treatment and cure for infertility in the AMA guides that I read during those 2 years and 12 cycles of fertility drugs and artificial inseminations....

Could I possibly just ONCE tell someone we know that I'm pregnant without hearing "I told you this would happen" "See what happens when you just relax?" or "You know this very same thing happened to ..." Even MY DOCTOR gave me this same load of crap!! How about "Congratulations! That's wonderful." Granted, I'm still in the stunned/confused/freaking out stage and I vary minute-to-minute on exactly how wonderful this news is, but the fact that I have to listen to a 1000 "I told you so" comments isn't helping.

Thanks for letting me vent.... And if you know someone who adopts a child and then gets pregnant, spare them the "I knew this would happen" remarks. Adoption is NOT a cure for infertility... And if you know someone struggling with infertility, don't suggest that they adopt a child because then they will get pregnant...

[lmladuke]

Hey Becky - Congratulations on your pregnancy. That's wonderful :)

Lori

[cinrein]

Congratulations Becky! How wonderful!

I'm sorry people can't resist the urge to say "I told you so". It seems people say all kinds of dumb things to a pregnant woman. I hate to tell you, but it doesn't get any better as your pregnancy progesses. Don't let them rain on your parade!

Cindy and Anna 2/11/03

[bluej]

Congratulations! I would be so tempted to say 'well you know that's why we adopted Spencer in the first place don't you? So we would become pregnant.' I can't even imagine what kind of response you would get, but if they thought about it, you are saying exactly what they are and just maybe they'll realize how absurd they are being. I'm afraid this is something that you are going to have to hear for the next several months and quite possibly several more after that. Seriously though, Congratulations! I'm sure Spencer is going to love being a big brother!

[trumansmom]

Yippee!! What a wonderful thing to have to bitch about! Congratulations on your incredible blessing!

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and Eleanor 4/14/04

[Marisa6826]

Congratulations!!!

Welcome to the December/January gang!!

-m

[ismommy]

What wonderful news. Congratualtions!

[redhookmom]

Congratulaitons!!

I like Jen's response say "You know that is exactly why we adopted."

[mamahill]

How about:

"Holy cow - congratulations!!!"

[momathome]

What fantastic news, Becki! You must be thrilled! :)
-Lauren

[cuca_]

congratulations!!!

Carmen

[toomanystrollers]

"I told you so" :) JUST KIDDING!!!!!! Congratulations - what wonderful news!!!!!!!

[doubleL]

Congrats!!!! I am so excited for you!

Lou
~David 5.01
~Elisabeth 6.03

[Kieransmom]

That's such great news! Congrats!

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[starrynight]

Congrats that is wonderful!!! (and I really mean it, not just saying it because you want to hear it :D )

[lrucci]

Becky,

Congratulations! That is wonderful news.


Lisa
Mom to Kyleigh Elizabeth 7/19/03

[lizajane]

congratulations!!!!! what incredible news. and what a wonderful gift for spencer, now a big brother to an "irish twin!!"

[chlobo]

Congrats!

[amp]

Becki - Congratulations! That is fantastic news! And how exciting for Spencer to be a big brother! Hope you enjoy a healthy, uneventful pregnancy!

[ivparker]

That is so awesome! You now have two! Think of it as a blessing as my husband and I were signing the first papers and handing in our first payment to go through an adoption when that same night I found out I was pregnant. The thing is that they wouldn't let us continue the adoption because they want all your children to be at least 1 before bring a new adopted baby home. So now you just did it the opposite way and you get to have two! Congratulation! That is great news!

[pritchettzoo]

That's wonderful news! People will take ANY opportunity to say I told you so--stick your tongue out and do a happy dance! :)

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[houseof3boys]

Becky congrats on Spencer and on the pregnancy news! I am so excited for your family. I hope people chill out with the I-told-you-so's since I could imagine it would be HIGHLY annoying. :)

[ddmarsh]

Many congrats!

We had friends in a similar situation (adopted and discovered she was pregnant about 8 weeks later). They were actually told in their adoption process that people often like to say that this "happens all of the time" but that in actuality it occurs well under 5% of the time. I think the stories are so heartwarming and interesting that they become repeated so much and makes it seem much more frequent.

Have a happy and healthy 9 months -

[MelissaTC]

What wonderful news! Comgratulations!

[jec2]

Congratulations!!!!



And noted, I will try never to tell someone the "i knew this would happen..." line :)

[jmofarrill]

That's so awesome! Congratulations!

[jk3]

Congratulations! You are so lucky! Two children in two years is certainly wonderful. =)

[vikivoly]

Congratulations! That's is such exciting news. Having dealt with infertility I can totally relate to such statements. People just don't have a clue why that's offensive. Just know that there are many on this board who can fully understand what you're going through.

[McQ]

AWESOME news!!! So happy for you!

Don't pay any attention to those other people who don't have anything better to say.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[TraciG]

GREAT NEWS, CONGRATS

[Melanie]

Congratulations!

..and thanks for posting about this as I, too, had no idea commenting on it would be offensive. You've probably just saved me from sticking my foot in my mouth yet again! =)

[holliam]

Congratulations! I am so happy for you for your pregnancy and your successful adoption!

I will admit I am still so sensitive to these comments. One of my dearest and oldest friends didn't know we were adopting because I hadn't emailed her in a while. Last week I emailed her and the first thing she said was "ooo, you know what happens when you adopt, you get pregnant!"

It made me so angry and sad that I have not yet been able to email her back. I just don't know what to say. It makes me feel like adoption isn't good enough and now that we're doing this we'll finally be able to have a "real baby".

Truthfully, we stopped trying to have a biological child before we did extensive fertility treatments. It's very likely we could have a biological child with more intervention. but we just also felt so strongly about adoption. It's not "just" the only way for us to have kids. It's really our chosen way.

Anyway, just wanted to share and let you know I know how it feels and to give you all the support and good wishes on your new journey!! :)

Holli

[MamaKath]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! What wonderful news!! Spencer will be a wonderful bg brother, especially with such a wonderfully tolerant mum! :-) Enjoy the pregnancy.

[jubilee]

Becki- congratulations!! Sounds like you will be busy, in a very joyfull way!

[babymama]

Excellent news...and how cool for them to grow up so close in age!!!
My younger bro is 7 yrs younger and I always wished we were closer in age.
Mama to Santiago, born 11/16/03

[Dscvrlifewith3]

I read your post with interest. The same thing happened to us after we adopted our son. I still hear comments like this and my youngest is TWO!
At my oldest son's first birthday party I gave a little speech, and I made it pretty clear that I was very happy we adopted and that this was how things were meant to be. I've never heard those comments from people that were there again. However the strangers kept saying it!

[Smiles81]

Great News!!
Congratulations!!
Smiles

[barbarhow]

Makes you wonder what they say to all the parents who don't conceive after adopting....duh.

But congratulations on your pregnancy! What awesome news.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[tippy]

Don't let the Turkeys get you down! Congratulations! Hope you have a great pregnancy! What is your due date!!!???

[KYBelle1102]

11/29/04... I have 168 days to go!

[tippy]

November, December????