URGGH, another negative test...

[workaholic]

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since March, not last March, the March before that.

I've tried everything that I know of... My doctor put me back on birth control for a few months ago to regulate my periods and the medication to make sure I was ovulating. Which I'm afraid may result in triplets...I had a hard time having Cooper @ 6lbs 10 oz., I don't think my body could handle more than one.

It's Sunday morning and I should be at church, only I wasn't in the mood to get everyone ready, fix breakfast and try to get out the door. Since I work all the time, I think it has more to do with stress. I'm trying to cut my work load and hire help but who can trust them in my line of work to do a superior job. My sister-in-law is trying to adopt and has become a foster mom. That may be our next route. She had a little baby last night that she was watching for another foster couple. I loved walking her around the yard. Feeding her and just cooing to her. You know her first month fo life had to be rough. She was so sweet and Cooper, DS, loved her too. Oh, it makes my heart ache to see him with her. He deserves a little brother or sister. I'm surrounded by women who haven't been able to have their own children. I'm starting to feel a small amount of what they have gone through.

I've even tried forgetting about it and trying to just let things happen on their own. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm beginning to feel like a lost hope. 1 year and 3 months is a long time. We conceived Cooper in a month. The fertile Mertile jokes where funny then....

Thanks ladies for listening...

Aimee
Momma to Cooper
Owner: Ella-Bags

[wendinbill]

Have you been to an RE? I'm sorry if that is a dumb question. I know my good friend is struggling with TTC for a few years now, and she sees a fertility specialist in Cleveland. I don't know why things happen the way they do-it is so unfair. I hope your work gets to be less stressful! I can't imagine how you manage to make such beautiful bags!! (I love my backpack!)

Best wishes to you-and LOADS of babydust!!

[Momof3Labs]

Aimee, if you have not seen a reproductive endocrinologist (RE), please get a referral from your doctor!! An RE does not just do IVF for every woman who walks in the door, they have lots and lots of tests and tools in their arsenal that can help discover what is going on. You can do as much or as little as you are comfortable with, and there are ways to manage your risk of multiples, too.

I'm going to drop you an e-mail, too.

[Marisa6826]

Aimee-

Another recommendation to get a referral to a RE (reproductive endocrinologist = fertility doc). The sooner the better. If nothing else, just to pick the doctor's brain for next steps. They will also be equipped to find out if it's your body that's no cooperating, or your husband's.

I'm guessing your GYN put you on Clomid? Your chances of triplets are pretty slim on that alone, unless you have super ovaries.

I had to go through injectible drugs and IUIs (interuterine inseminations) for Sophie and this pregnancy. It worked the second time around for both pregnancies.

There are many fertility-challenged women here. Look for that email from Lori (momof3labs).

-m

[workaholic]

It's strange that everyone has recommended the RE. My sister-in-law tried invetro 4 times and it didn't work for her. She has never suggested that I go, not once. I'm definatley going to call me OBGYN tomorrow. I'll look for Lori's e-mail. I'm sure to get it if you e-mail me at work. There are so many women around me that have never suggested I go to a RE but, they've all gone. I can't help but think it's because I already have one baby. My mom is already hinting that we need another baby.

Someone said today, "Cooper had his surgery, James (DH) is having surgery in a few weeks, what's next for you?" Mom said, "A Baby???"
I haven't really discussed this problem with Mom because for a long time I don't think she thought I was ready (because of work). James and I have kinda kept this close to us. Now Cooper is starting play school and we've cut back our hours in the store to manage production, I feel that I can handle having another now.

I'll keep you posted...Thank you for all your advice. Oh, and yes it was clomid the doctor put me on.

Aimee
Momma to Cooper
Owner: Ella-Bags

[Dscvrlifewith3]

Have you read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler? If not I strongly suggest you buy it and read it cover to cover.
I used to teach Fertility Awareness and many people often don't get pregnant because they are having sex at the wrong time. If you are only having sex at night, break it up and have some Nooners (what a better way to spend your lunch?) and some get up in the morning sex. Most my clients/students got pregnant within 6 months of teaching them and most of my clients have fertility problems.
Like for me, I have had over half a dozen miscarriages to low progesterone. The only reason I knew to catch it with Jackson was because I charted my cycles. Other people would have thought their period just started late.
It took me 3 years to get pregnant with my daughter. I only had 2-3 periods a year. So I had very few windows to get it right. Other times I was pregnant I had miscarriages, so we adopted. :) Jackson was not planned because we didn't think it was going to happen, but I had been charting and knew we had sex during the fertile time (I started having periods the month I met Dylan's birthmother..odd..LOL)
I understand your concerns about work ;) I just hired an apprentice, she is going to be more than an employee. She is going to have to learn to be me, sew like me, etc. I hope this will take some of the stress off me because I do want another child and its not exactly like the owner of a business gets maternity leave!

[Dscvrlifewith3]

Clomid does kick ovaries into gear, but one of the problems with it makes cervical fluid a hostile enviroment for sperm to swim through. I believe the chance of having twins on clomid is 5-8% and less than 2% for triplets.
I think an RE is a good idea, but there are things (the book I suggested recommends many) that talk about unevasive things. The RE can definitely get some hormone levels and see if you are having any problems in that department. It could easily be something like high prolactin levels, etc.

Good luck baby dancing!

[ColorBlue]

Aimee,

The same thing happened to me and now I'm pregnant with twins! I got pregnant with my dd in 2001 the first month we were trying. In March of 03 we started trying for our second, figuring they'd be two years apart...well...by the end of the year no luck. My OB referred me to an RE. He did all kinds of tests to see if my hormones were out of whack and they were slightly. I got my period maybe four times from March to December. In January we tried 50 mg of clomid and I didn't ovulate. In February we tried 50 mg clomid and metformin which is a diabetes drug which has proven to help anovulatory women ovulate. Well it worked...maybe too good! We got pregnant in February. The odds of having twins on clomid are only about 3-4% more than the odds of having twins not on clomid and triplets are even less.

Thats our story...I would definitly see an RE.

Hope that helps.

Tracy

dd Grace 11/01
edd TWINS..11/04 GIRLS!!

[kelly ann]

Aimee-

I am so sorry to hear of your struggle for baby #2. DS was also a first month of trying pregnancy and it is hard to imagine trying for over a year when the first one took a month. It does sound like you have been under a lot of stress with your business, family surgeries, and MIL problems...and stress does effect your body more than you realize. I can't offer any good advice like the other ladies, but I really hope things start to settle down for you soon. Take care of yourself :)

[durga8]

Aimee,

Sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time conceiving. Seeing a RE is an excellent idea, and I'd suggest trying to find a good one through your ob. They can do an infertility workup with blood tests like FSH, ultrasound exams that can help determine the cause (sometimes it can be unexplained). It took us several IVF cycles to conceive, so it does happen even when there seems to be no hope! I did to three clomid IUI's that didn't work, so I'd say based on age and diagnosis you'll be able to make some choices. Also it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion.

Since it can take a while to get an appt. with a RE, you can try charting your basal body temp, and timing sex for fertile days. There are a bunch of resources out there, and I can find some if you are interested.

edited to add: it may also be a good idea for your dh to get tested. hopefully, you can both go see the RE. while one may assume female factor, it may very well be male factor.

HTH,

[jal]

While I agree with the majority that indicate you (AND your husband)should see an RE, the part everyone else seems to be leaving out is Prayer!!! Don't look and church on Sunday as a chore (which it can be when it comes to getting the family together). It's also a place to find others who can support you in person in addition to just posts on the web. There are plenty of fertility specific forums online as well.

I understand the frustration you feel for we spent three years trying to conceive, two of those years spent with an RE. We went through the various tests and procedures (using clomid, using more powerful drugs, etc). Each step along the way, we took our ques from God as to what to do next. We finally reached the point where our only choise left was to attempt IVF, but my wife's response to drugs in previous cycles was so low that the doctor... 1) had to get permission from the other doctors in the practice to even try, 2) gave us only a 50% of having a good enought response to even complete the procedure, and 3) a 10% chance at best at success. But at the same time, the Lord had provided us with a $20,000+ winfall, enough money to try it twice. And that's the point we hit bottom. Some additional testing that they did to prepare for IVF found a thyroid condition that would require at LEAST three to four months to get under control before they would consider going throught with the IVF. By this time, we had undergone at least 6 failed IUIs, insurance at work changed (our drugs costing $$$$/month were no longer covered) and within a year, the $20,000 winfall would be lost (had to do with the big drop in the stock market a few years ago). But we had our faith in our Lord and our friends from church to help support us during this difficult time. And then before my wife even started taking the medicines to control her thyroid, she learned that she was pregnant (on Christmas Eve no less). That following August, Patrick was born. Since then, DW has even gotten pregnant a 2nd time, but the Lord saw fit that it's not time for us to have a second child. And again, our Faith and friends have been able to see us throught a rough miscarrage.

[kijip]

I read a very promising article that most people who TTC without sucess for a year will suceed in the 2 year of trying. Doubly so for people who have already had a child. So try the specialist if your situation/age calls for it but be heartened that chances are good that you will have a 2nd baby. Good luck!

[SeekerMage]

I agree with everyone that you should go to a specialist, just to make sure that everything is working ok. We did this when we were unable to concieve and found that nothing was seriously wrong other then a slightly low sperm count. We started fertility treatments and only went through with one when DH lost his job and we had to stop. After several months we started Reflexology and within two months were pregnant.

I highly suggest you look into reflexology (basically really deep tissue massage of the feet which works on different areas of the body) Both hubby and I had it done (hubby twice me four times I think) I atleast suggest this for you because among other things it is a HUGE stress release and it sounds like you are quite stressed out about not getting pregnant, having a little one, a business etc. Relaxation is a big key in getting pregnant, along with other things as well. Any how...just my two cents, if anything I suggest a massage aound that time, you need to relax mama! I hope things go well for you soon...happy baby thoughts your way!

[Dscvrlifewith3]

Before my daughter DH had a low sperm count. While quantity is good, quality is better. Zinc and selenium are very good supplements for ment to take while working on baby making. I read Sperm Warms, and I believe it reference selenium as helping the protiens that enable penetration of the egg. I don't have the book in front of me to reference it. Also caffiene actually increases sperm production. There was study actually done in men who drank Mountain Dew and there sperm counts were observed to those who did not drink caffiene or very little. Boxers are also a good option too! :) Also, most men have higher sperm counts in the fall and winter (when actually most children are concieved) and lower in the summer. November I believe is their peak month for sperm production.

I know too much trivia!

[stillplayswithbarbies]

Interesting about the caffeine. We found out that caffeine slows down the sperm, and after my DH read that, he stopped drinking Mountain Dew. Guess what happened next? :)

So I guess it depends on what the problem is as to whether one should start drinking caffeine or stop drinking it.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[Dscvrlifewith3]

Also, Something else about sperm count. A man can have a low sperm count and then a normal count depending on age, enviromental factors and stress. It also can depend on their occupations. My husbands sperm count is normal now. Who would have thunk it?