How much does DH do to help?

[Rikkele]

I am realtively new to this forum but like other posters don't know who else to vent to. I am a new mom to a 4wk old DD and am so exhausted, frustrated, and emotional. Am wondering how much did your DH do when Dbaby was a newborn? Can you believe DH just slept in the bedroom with me last night for the first time since bringing DD home from the hospital. First my mom was here and stayed in the room with me to help at night and then my sister was here. She just left this morning so now it is just DH and I on our own. The issue is that DH works while I am staying at home. Even when I do go back to work in early July it will only be a few hours a week. I feel very fortunate to be able to stay home so that I had convinced myself that it was only right that I am the one up at night while allowing him to sleep. But other moms have told me their DH's get up and give nighttime EBM/bottles even though they also have to go to work every morning. I am formula feeding (not by choice but long story, suffice it to say my milk never came in) so it's not like he couldn't help at night. To make matters worse DD is somewhat colicky and is up crying many hours at night. DH is a physician and it is a very stressful job so I know he needs to be rested and focused during the day but dealing with a colicky baby all day and night is breaking my spirit. Don't know who is crying more at this point! It's not like I am lounging on the sofa all day or even get the chance for a nap.
Did your working DH get up at night? I am ready to move myself and DD into another room because I cannot bear DH's sighs and groans and tossing and turning in bed while I am trying to comfort my crying DD.
I just keep telling myself, "this too shall pass."

thanks
Rikkele
New mom to Iliana Sophia - born 5/17/04

[jk3]

Our DS woke up every 2-3 hours for a bottle + generally, my DH would make the bottle while I changed the diaper or vice versa. I generally gave the bottle to the baby. My DH is pretty helpful, minus a negative comment here or there when he is exhausted, so I can't really complain. The deal we worked out is that I get up with DS during the week and he takes over on Friday + Saturday nights. My DH wakes up at 5 so I know it's important for him to sleep somewha well on work nights.

Since you are bottle feeding one tip I have for next time would be to prepare the bottles with warm water and use the powdered dispenser so that I could keep everthing in my room + expedite the process late at night. With DS, we used ready to feed formula so we needed to warm the bottles + the entire process took too long. Hope that helps!

The beginning can be really hard but you will get used to the sleep deprivation part and then your DD will start sleeping in longer stretches!

Jenn
DS 6/3/03

[houseof3boys]

I think you need to have a heart to heart with him about what your expectations are. My DH helped tremendously in the begininng by doing things like bringing the baby in bed with me so I could nurse him, bringing me snacks so my energy was up and soothing the baby when I couldn't. I didn't change a diaper for 2 weeks either, I had to have DH teach me how to do it. I know not all spouses are like this and I am lucky that mine is but we also talked about this before Ryan was born. I am a firm believer that parenting is not one persons gig, no matter who gets to stay home! I think staying home is much more taxing than working an 80 hour work week and trust me, I used to do it.

I would think that being a physician he would realize the huge demands a newborn brings. You need to talk to him about him helping out and being more supportive to you during the stressful time of learning to be a new parent. I think sleepless nights are just part of the responsiblity of parenthood and that passes as they get older, but he needs to share in that responsiblity with you *now* when it it so much for you to handle on your own! Don't feel bad that it is a lot of work, it's a lot of work for lots of us until we get used to it.

I hope it gets better and know that you can vent here anytime. :)

[stillplayswithbarbies]

> DH is a physician and it is a
>very stressful job so I know he needs to be rested and focused
>during the day

And your job is being a mom. You have the same need to be rested and focused during the day. It is just as important for you to get your rest as it is for him to get his.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[AngelaS]

My dh has never gotten up at night to assist with feedings. I've BF my last two children and plan to do the same this time around. I've never really had a problem with it, but I don't have a colicky baby either.

I figure if I'm the one to get up, then I'm MORE than entitled to take naps during the day while he's at work. If I stretch out on the couch and order pizza for dinner, I do NOT feel at all bad.

[kelly ann]

Rikkele...

DH should definitely be getting up at night to soothe or feed Iliana. You are also fully employed during the day and you are still recovering from carrying and giving birth to a baby. Ask DH to split the feedings or maybe trade off nights. Even though I nursed, DH would do most of the soothing in the middle of the night if we were sure DS was not hungry. Because of this, DH was always better at soothing a fussy DS then I was. Don't get me wrong...it was not always rosy...there were many nights when I was doing one of my typical 45 minute feedings and I had to watch DH snoring in the bed. I just want to take the radio playing Christmas music next to me and toss it at him. It is amazing what sleep deprivation can do to you!! Also, if you feel that the crying is not letting up soon, talk to your OB/GYN at your post-birth checkup. My doctor was really helpful since I didn't know how much crying was "normal". Hopefully, having DH help out a little more will turn things around.

[californiagirl]

I breastfeed, and DH still helped out at night when DD was a newborn. She only wakes once at night now, except when she's teething. And DH is working now, and if she's waking all the time, he changes her if she needs it. If nothing else, he changes her when he gets up in the morning so that I can feed her and go back to sleep. When she was fretty as a little baby, I would feed her and go to bed, and he would put her in a carrier and walk her around until she settled. And if she screamed after the next feeding, at 10 pm or 11 pm or midnight, he would go do it again. It doesn't last forever, he didn't just give birth, and he wanted to do whatever he could.

[lcl]

as a mom and also a physician, i think taking care of a newborn is more difficult. dh should be used to functioning without sleep. he should understand and help out esp if you have the baby blues (maybe you can take shifts--ie you sleep early evening and your husband takes care of that portion). at the beginning i did everything even after my maternity leave and my ds was also colicky. dh finally "got " it around when our DS was 6 mo and helps out now when our 2 yo gets up at night which is thankfully rare these days.

[papal]

Rikkele... first off, big hugs to you mama... your post brought back memories of those first few weeks...they are indeed very hard for a new mom. Your body is still recovering and honestly your only job (in an ideal world) should be to stay in bed and nurse the baby when she is hungry... EVERYTHING else needs to be taken care of by someone else! Ofcourse, this is not an ideal world, so us moms have to take on the lions share of house stuff and baby stuff (especially if dh is the only one working). But your dh really should be helping out more.. can you have a heart to heart talk with him (not in the middle of the night!) and let him know how you feel?
My dh did and continues to do all the night diaper changes..initially it was hard for him to function at work.. but then one day, he just resolved that he is going to enjoy doing the night-duty.. that dd will soon grow up and he does not want to regret not having participated. So now, he bounces out of bed, changes her dipe, brings her to nurse, puts her back in the crib. I have found that men need to be explicitly told WHAT to do.. if it is ambiguous, they feel lost.. as in.
1. Make Sure Dipes and Wipes are available for night changes BEFORE you go to bed.. that way people are not grumbling and trying to find them in the middle of the night.
2. When Baby wakes up, check her dipe, if wet, change it.
3. Bring baby to bed. After I am done feeding her (or he is done feeding her), burp her and put her back to bed.

I know, this sounds BASIC but even after a few weeks, and maybe because of mental tiredness, my dh would STILL ask everytime the baby woke up:
" Is she wet", "Is the hungry", "Is it time for her Zantac". "Where are the wipes".... the questions used to drive me CRAZY! So we discussed the routine and now it works like clockwork.

Sorry this is long, it just brought back all sorts of memories. take care mama.

[hez]

I stayed home the first 4 months, DH has always worked. He was responsible for all the night changings, and for bringing DS to me to feed. We had a rough start BF'ing, so he was even up with me at 3am helping DS latch, or feeding DS a bottle while I pumped. Looking back, I think we were really prepared for at least that part of our lives-- we had talked some of this out ahead of time. After the c/s, DH got really good at changing diapers, swaddling and soothing in the hospital. He's still better at soothing.

Definitely sounds like you need to talk it out. Caring for a newborn is so very tough on all parts of you-- both of you have a role to play. DH & I always do better when we're on the same page, but sometimes it takes a couple conversations to get there.

[amp]

Like many of the moms here, my DH has done loads to help me with my son! And while I got up in the night more than he did, he definitely helped out many, many times! Yes, he has to work, but so do I...my job just doesn't entail going to an office. My job starts as soon as DH or DS get up in the morning and it doesn't stop until everyone is in bed. So DH helps out more than lots of men, I'm sure, but we took on parenthood together and therefore, in this house, it's a two person job. I don't know how people do it alone, whether single or with uninvolved fathers. Talk to your husband. Let him know that having a new baby is overwhelming. And the hormones in your body are still sorting themselves out. It's normal for you to be exhausted and tearful. If it continues, you might need to see someone about it, but at 4 wks I know I was still pretty emotional, although I was getting better. Parenthood is an ovewhelming experience, physically and emotionally, and your body has also been through the ringer. Give yourself a break and ask your DH for help. Let him know how hard this has been for you. Once you guys develop a schedule, you'll both catch up on sleep. It helps to have a routine, but that takes some time to develop. Hang in there! And congrats on your baby!

[mamahill]

I looked at it as it was my job to be her mom, and that job is 24 hours. We were bfing, though, so DH couldn't help there. If we were bottle feeding, things might have been different. That said, though, DH was VERY helpful when he came home. I didn't give Ainsleigh a bath until she was about 4 months old. That's not to say she went unbathed ;) just that DH was the one who did it. Also, he would take care of her once he got home and allow me some "me time."

I can understand your frustration with his sighs and groans. Talk to him about this. Offer him the opportunity to help. If it is SO taxing, then let HIM move rooms, not you. There were a few nights that my DH was working really long hours and only averaging 5 hours of sleep, and snoring (which I absolutely cannot sleep through). Because of this, he slept on the couch for a few nights so that we could BOTH get the rest we wanted.

Hang in there - things will get better, I promise. For the colic, are you sleeping Iliana at an incline or anything? I know some people frown on this, but Ainsleigh slept in her infant seat for the first 2 months because it helped the gas escape while she slept. Otherwise she (and I) didn't sleep. Good luck!

[KGoes]

My DH did not help with night feedings or changings. But he did help with almost everything else. I decided that if I was staying home and had at least the possibility of napping with DD during the day to catch up, there was no point in depriving him of sleep at night. And that's exactly what I did. I slept with her during the day. He came home from work and fed himself, helped with the housework, shopped, played with the baby to give me a break or a nap and fed her a bottle before bed.
As for sleeping arrangements, I always got up with DD and toted her into the living room to feed her. I preferred the comfortable furniture in there. I could always nap on the couch if she would let me, it was easier for me to burp her (a huge issue for us at 4 weeks) when I was sitting, or I could walk around in circles with her while she cried and watch bad tv or sappy movies/videos. I stocked the area with blankets, burp cloths, bottled water, and snacks, so really it was more of a retreat for me. If he is keeping you up, I would definitely ask him to sleep elsewhere - just make sure you remember to invite him back when things settle down.
When I went back to work, he continued (and continues to this day) to help with house/yard work and preparing meals. But at that point, the communication lines had to open up wide so that we were both clear on expectations.
Yes, there are DHs who do more, and apparently cheerfully, but that is not my DH. He has many fabulous qualities and I focus on those.
You cannot do everything by yourself. If your DH does not want to get up at night, or if he needs his sleep to be an effective physician, so be it - but he has to pick up the slack - and the vacuum cleaner elsewhere.
As for sofa lounging, you should be lounging on the sofa all day and waiting for a nap. You need to get as much sleep as you can, even if that sleep is in 2-3 hour intervals. DD did not sleep more than 3 hours at a time for the first 6-7 weeks of her life - I lived on naps alone.
Hang in there!!
Kelley
DD born 7/03

[lisaE]

In a word, NEVER. He stays in bed while I deal with DS. I am a SAHM, so my job is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

[lisams]

Darn straight my working DH helped out with the night feedings/wakings (breastfeeding, but he would get her, change her diaper, bring her to me, get me a glass of water).

Your job is demanding and you need to have a break - for your own mental health. Your DH gets a lunch break, gets to use the restroom in peace, gets to unwind on his way home.

This may sound harsh, but if a little heart to heart doesn't work, then it's time to say "your turn to get the baby" and let him do it.

Being a parent isn't a 9-5 job. It doesn't end when the sun goes down. Good luck hon. I hope he starts helping you out and understanding how demanding it is.

Lisa

[chlobo]

My DH did and still does help with DD at night. In fact, up until today he was first responder b/c we didn't want DD to "expect" to get fed unless she was hungry. But now we've decided she needs to eat so I will get up and feed her and then he'll put her to bed in the crib.

I think you should have a talk with your DH and try to work out a better sharing arrangement.

[ALLEYCAT]

My dh works full time outside the house and pretty much does nothing in the house and does not understand why I say it is harder than it looks. I now am back to work full time, breastfeeding and pumping and cosleeping. I never intended to cosleep, but found I was falling asleep while nursing and just ended up that way. I don't know if that would help for formula feeding. I finally decided I was the primary caregiver and there was no use in expecting any help. Not that I don't ask, I just don't expect it and it has made things easier for me not to be let down all the time. He still moans and groans but I can comfort and feed ds quicker and therefore quiet him easier than if he were in his crib. Have you read Dr Sears books about babywearing? Ds cried alot less after I started to wear him around the house, he also slept better. Dh may criticize but I can usually calm him when no one else can just by putting him in a sling.
As for the crying on your part, call your OB/GYN tommorrow and tell her you ned to come in. OBs are very well aware of post partum depression even if your dh md is not. Don't feel weird about it, just call and get in there and get yourself taken care of. Can you call your mother or sister to come back if you really need it? How about taking up the offers from friends and neighbors to watch dd while you get some much needed sleep? Talk to dh about it, let him stay with dd all day and see how well he does with no sleeep and lots of crying from dd may be he will feel more like helping in the future. Good luck

[ethansmom]

For the first month or so, my DH did get up with me every time. When it got to the point we didn't have to change a dipe at each waking, I would just get the baby since I BF. However, I do remember going balistic when my DH moaned and groaned. I should mention I would bring the baby into our room and watch tv while feeding. My reasoning is I'm the one having to feed, I should be comfy and entertained while doing so. ;-) Anyhow, after talking, it turns out he was moaning and groaning because he was also exhausted, but really wanted to sleep on the couch but thought I'd be upset. What?!? At that point in time I could have cared less where (or if) he slept. Anyhow, after a few guiltless nights of good sleep on the couch, things definitely improved. He now sleeps right through any night nursing and has learned not to comment on how well the baby slept.

Hang in there!

[doubleL]

Try not to compare your situation to others. Every family is different. Deal with what you are given. If talking to your husband works, great! But...

Any mom with a colicky baby needs as much help as she can possibly get!! If DH is not helping, look for someone else... family, friends, sitters, whoever you trust. Don't feel bad about getting help. You shouldn't have to go through this alone. Sounds like you'll need a sitter, so why not find one now. Get her to come by during the day so that you can deal with the nights or whatever you think will work.

When DD is done eating, burp her and prop her in a bouncy seat for 20 minutes (if she'll let you!) and then try to get her back to sleep. I agree with Sarah, sleeping in a bouncy seat is a good thing too. Also, have you tried Alimentum or Soy formula?

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. It definitely will get better!

Lou
~David 5.01
~Elisabeth 6.03

[dr mom]

"The issue is that DH works while I am staying at home."

Just to echo what another poster said, I am both a physician and a mom, and motherhood is definitely the more challenging job! Not only are you trying to meet the needs of your DD 24 hours a day, but you're still dealing with postpartum hormones and sleep deprivation. Just because you're staying home right now doesn't mean that you don't WORK. When your DH goes to work, he has a predictable schedule with regular breaks - with a new baby, nothing is remotely predictable, and you're lucky if you can get a long enough break to take a shower before dinnertime. You should absolutely not feel bad about asking DH to pitch in and help. If your mother and sister have been helping out before now, he may just not realize yet how much care a newborn requires.

I stayed home for 10 weeks after DS was born. My DH worked, and he was genuinely willing to help out, but clueless about what needed to be done. If I waited for him to take the initiative, nothing happened...it was like he didn't see the dirty laundry or hear the crying baby. What worked for us was that I learned to ask for help with specific tasks, telling him exactly what I wanted him to do. During a nighttime feeding (breastfeeding) I would wake him up to change DS's diaper so I didn't have to get out of bed, and I made it a point to tell him frequently how helpful he was, and what a great job he was doing with DS. The house wasn't as clean as if I was doing it myself, and we ate a lot of takeout, but it was so worth it to not be doing everything myself.

If your DH is awake enough to sigh and complain at night, he might as well get up and help out. Maybe after he's spent an hour trying to comfort a crying infant in the middle of the night, he'll be more understanding about how difficult it really is.

When you're exhausted it's easy to feel overwhelmed and hopeless, and sometimes it can be dificult to tell what is normal postpartum blues and what is depression. Please, call your OB tomorrow morning and ask for an immediate appointment. It certainly isn't a sign of weakness to ask for help, and postpartum depression is common - actually, I'm surprised more women don't get it, considering that new moms are universally sleep-deprived and awash in hormones.

Good luck Rikkele and congratulations on your new DD!

-Cindy

[pritchettzoo]

DH was up almost every time DD woke in the middle of the night. Sometimes he woke when she cried; sometimes he woke when I poked him *really* hard. ;) Yes, your DH has a paying job. But yours is 24/7. Is there a way y'all can take turns? Like Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, you're up with the baby and give him the other days (or whatever)? Your mental health will vastly improve once you get six to eight hours of sleep in a row! And definitely nap whenever your baby naps. It's not the same, but it will help your sanity.

Do you have a swing? That $89 Fisher Price Ocean Wonders Swing saved my life the first weeks. Especially if DD is colicky, a swing can really help out. My daughter slept in her swing until she was almost 4 months old. She slept 6-8 hours in that sucker. Yes, we ran through D batteries (only about 4 a week; I gladly would have paid for that many a night!), but I was a much happier mom. As soon as she turned 4 mos, she would scream bloody murder if we put her in the swing, and she's slept lying down like a "normal" baby ever since. Also, have you tried Dr. Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block book? If you don't have it, RUN to the bookstore in the morning. Seriously. We swaddled DD and stuck her in the swing (with the seat belt and tray snapped on). The swing was right by our bed, and we were all happy people. :)

Good luck! And I agree with other posters--call your doc if the crying doesn't slack...it could be sleep deprivation and general overwhelm-ed-ness, or it could be PPD. We are here if you need to bitch about DH. The "D" can stand for things other than "Dear"! ;)

Anna

[C99]

Repeat after me: this too shall pass! Just keep that in mind over the next several weeks. It does get easier over time. In part because your baby will mature. In part because your hormones regulate. And in part because you become more confident in your role as a new mom.

My working husband didn't get up in the middle of the night w/ the baby. He probably did once or twice, but in general: no. He slept and I got up 3-5 times per night. I breastfed, so that accounts for some difference. We also co-slept for about 6 months and it took him about a month to realize that Nate wasn't getting out of our bed anytime soon (partially because I didn't want to get up every time) so he should come back into it.

But, even though he wasn't that great with Nate as a newborn, he is fantastic now and has been since Nate was about 5-6 months old. He rocks him to sleep, helps me with the bath, gets up with him in the middle of the night, etc., etc.

HTH

[emilyf]

Things will get dramatically better in the next few weeks I promise! My dh generally did not get up at night either, and I was ok with it but I did make sure I snuck in a nap here and there during the day and let other stuff (housework etc) slide. Make sure he does his fair share in the evening hours when he is awake though-I pretty much handed the baby over to dh as soon as he got home, and those evening hours were often the worst. I would go for a walk, or to a different part of the house for a break. Every couple handles things differently, but these rough times will be a distant memory before you know it.
Emily \r\nmom of Charlie born 11/02

[sirensrise]

we have similar situations, dh is a phsycian and i am still on maternity leave. dd is 10 month old. it is a sticky situation, while i agree that he should help, i dont want him to cut his patient in the wrong eye.:) the first weeks are HARD! i told him i was going to deal with the nights,but that was a bad idea. basiclly, dd would wake up 100 times a night, i would change her or feed her or do whatever. dh sometimes wakes up and he had no clue what happened, but would say things like you should feed her,etc. even she has just finished feeding! i cant tell you how many fights we had. i was just exhausted. it was not that he did not help at all that bothers me the most, but that he thinks that he knows best, since he is a doctor, no matter what i say it is wrong, nothing is good enough for her daughter. while he helped with other things in the beggining, that did not last long either. so i was back to doing everything outside the baby as well. i had breakdowns when i just could not take it any more. you know what, i made him take care of her for one night. i basiclly just handed her over. nad after that, boy o boy he is much better. until he actually did it, he just had no clue how hard it is. not that he helped at night after that but at least he understands the task, and that to me is worth gold. about a week ago, i was saying that i am still exhausted since dd is still waking twice a night. guess what ? he said, how hard could it be to get up 5 minutes at a time? i should just sleep when she sleeps, etc. again, i made him get up one night to fetch her for me for 2 nights. you should have seen him the second day, he is helping a lot more now.
i guess the bottom line is. if i was to do it over agin, i would still got up for all the week nights, but definitely get him to do one night a week.not that i would get more sleep, since i am breastfeeding, but to remind him that it is a hard job, and he'd better back off and support me. let me know if i can help in anyways. i dont think there is anything harder than the first monthes. i honestly did not think that i will be able to make it.

[Rikkele]

I truly appreciate all the wonderful feedback and words of support. After some much needed sleep for both of us DH and I did talk and it has made a big difference. He acknowledged that he needs to step up to the plate more now that all our family have gone home. The fact that we had so much good help let him slack off for a while. I was totally willing to negotiate something with regard to getting up at night but he insisted he wanted to stay in the bedroom and "help." I really don't need or necessarily want him to get up at night but like nearly all of you, just want him to acknowledge how hard it is and just provide some emotional support. It's hard enough when DD/DS is crying unconsolably and DH's response makes you feel like you're not a good mother or not doing enough because you can't make it stop.
Things are definitely better now and he is taking over feeding/soothing duty for a little while when he gets home from work. All I need is a little break to recharge. I completely agree with Leslie with regard to using a sling. I bought one a week ago and of all the tons of baby stuff we have, it is the best $40 I have spent. Works like a charm every time!! Yeah! Unfortunately DD doesn't really like the Ocean Wonders Aquarium swing yet but hopefully someday we will get our money's worth out of it.
Again, thanks to everyone. It helps so much just to know that so many other couples are struggling to figure out this parenting thing and that not all our DH's are perfect!

Rikkele
New mom to Iliana Sophia - born 5/17/04

[lisams]

That's wonderful, I was thinking about you and wondering how things are going. I agree, that you need a break just to recharge, that is great that DH is helping out!

Thanks for the update, glad to hear things are looking up.
Lisa

[sirensrise]

i am so glad things are going better, and believe me, things will get even better(with a few bumps on the road). the baby will eventually stop crying, sleep more, more predictable, etc.
> I was totally willing to
>negotiate something with regard to getting up at night but he
>insisted he wanted to stay in the bedroom and "help." I
>really don't need or necessarily want him to get up at night
>but like nearly all of you, just want him to acknowledge how
>hard it is and just provide some emotional support. It's hard
>enough when DD/DS is crying unconsolably and DH's response
>makes you feel like you're not a good mother or not doing
>enough because you can't make it stop.
please dont let anyone tell you that you are not a good mother for any reason, and a lot of people will try to do just that. ignore them!
> I
>completely agree with Leslie with regard to using a sling. I
>bought one a week ago and of all the tons of baby stuff we
>have, it is the best $40 I have spent.
i could not have survived without one, they are so handy. if you have any questions, try the thebabywearer.com board. what kind did you get?

> Unfortunately DD doesn't really like the
>Ocean Wonders Aquarium swing yet but hopefully someday we will
>get our money's worth out of it.
dd LOVED symphony in motion mobile, it was funny because no matter how upset she was, if we put her under the mobile, she would just be kicking and cooing for the longest time. we joked that the mobile was the first on her list, the ceiling fan the second, followed by mommy, and then daddy.:)
good luck! let us know what we can help!
bing

[bobica]

We had a carefully negotiated deal before DD was born (seriously!). DH was able to take 2 weeks off which was awesome! (he works for friends, so that helps). He took her at night for those 2 weeks. After that, i got her at night during the week & he took her friday & saturday nights. worked like a dream for us! I'm an early riser & he could sleep in very late, so he could sleep in on the weekends with no problem. ( i can't seem to sleep past 7!) We really did have a sit-down negotiation about it. I guess it made it more serious, you know?

Good luck & keep your sanity!

Monica
Mom to Siobhan- 3/03

[Rikkele]

DD and I love the sling. I got a "Hands free Baby and Me" that I bought from my local lactation consultant at the Breastfeeding Education Center. I think it may be made by a local mom - it is a ring sling that is very comfortable and easy to use. In fact I am wearing it now with DD while I type at the keyboard! OF course, then you have to deal with dumb folks who tell you that you will spoil DD by carrying her around all the time. I just smile and nod cause these folks have no idea what they are talking about and have obviously never had to deal with a crying baby for more than 10 seconds. I have thought about asking DH to wear it but I think he would just laugh at me!
DD also LOVES the Symphony in Motion Mobile - another great purchase. And she is also fascinated by the ceiling fans - guess it is the shadows they make on the ceiling!

I really appreciate all your support!

Rikkele
New mom to Iliana Sophia - born 5/17/04

[pritchettzoo]

I'm so glad things are going better!

Is she unsure about the motion of the swing? If she likes mobiles and things moving (like the ceiling fan god ;) ), she might like sitting still in it and watching the fishies. I know holding her is a sure bet, but there are going to be times when you'll need a break--even if it's for 5 minutes. And to me at least, listening to DD cry didn't really help me relax.

I love when people say you're going to spoil her--I told my grandmother that I'd carried her around for 9 months and a few more wouldn't hurt a thing (something someone here recommended as a retort). She stopped and said, "You know, I never thought of it that way!" Now she thinks it was her idea and that's why DD's so affectionate...:)

Anna

[hez]

I'm glad to see your post-- I've been behind, but had been thinking about you. Reading your initial post made me remember to thank my DH for being as helpful as he has been. We still bicker every other day (like clockwork!), but talking it out, sometimes multiple times, has always helped us.

You're not alone-- the mommies and daddies here have been really great support!