Why don't people make arrangements to pick up their kids?

[caffeinedreams]

I just picked up my 15-year-old stepdaughter from driver's ed, and for about the 6th day running ended up with a carload of kids who needed rides, one of them out in a rural area that adds 10 miles to my trip, the others to various subdivisions around town. Instead of taking 15 minutes to pick DSD up, it is now taking over an hour.

I honestly don't mind it if it is occasional, that is part of being a parent, but now it is an everyday thing. These kids are 15, so cannot yet drive (obviously, since the class is driver's ed), and we have a very spread out school district and there is really no way they could walk home, they just live too far away, so me or another parent is their only way home. What are these parents thinking? Do they just assume someone will take them home and are willing to take advantage of whomever that is, or do they just not think about it at all?

I telecommute, so I am able to pick DSD up each day, and I understand that other parents who work cannot do that, but it just irritates me. Then, to top it off, when I dropped off one girl today, her dad was outside getting the mail, and just waved at me. If he was home, why did he not pick her up? These are good friends of DSD, and they are very sweet girls who always say thank you, and if they need a ride, they need a ride, and I'm not going to leave them there when I am able to give them one, but IMO the parents should not send them to the class if they cannot provide a way home, or I would appreciate them asking me first or at least calling to say thanks for seeing that their daughters gets home every day.

Thanks for letting me vent about it--just needed to get it off my chest!

[jlcana]

That's unbelievable! With all the stuff going on today, I'm in shock! Maybe I'm cynical because I live in Chicago but I would never just assume some other parent would give my son a ride home. Maybe call some of the parents to arrange a rotating carpool(especially the dad that was at home)? Some people will always depend on someone else's good nature I guess...

Lisa
Christopher 3/18/02
Another boy EDD 9/20/04

[candybomiller]

That would definitely irk me too! You're totally being taken advantage of. Do you know these parents well enough to call about establishing some sort of carpool?

I don't really have any advice to give you. But I feel for you!

[MartiesMom2B]

Vent away - this is what we are here for. I feel bad that you feel that you are expected to drop off other kids.

I have to admit that this post is painful for me to read. I was one of those kids that had to bum rides from my friend's parents if I wanted to participate in afterschool activities from middle school till high school. My parents did not get home until 7:00 at night - during tax season I hardly saw my mom at all. My grandparents did live with me, but they had to work too. I did try to make things better by asking my parents to drive my friends and I when we went to the movies or to the mall.

Is the driver's ed program right after school? If so it may interfere with the ability for the parents to come pick their child up. With that said, when I took drivers ed. I took night classes and carpooled with my friend who also took it. On the bright side, it seems like these ladies will be driving soon - so your days of being the chaffeur will end soon.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[karin4]

These people may well be completely taking advantage of you, but I just wanted to suggest one more possibility.

I have a fourteen year old and an eleven year old, and I KNOW that they and their friends (all really, truly, great kids)are totally clueless a good deal of the time! I would not be at all surprised to find out that the other parents routinely ask their kids "do you need a ride home" or "what time do I need to pick you up", and are routinely assured that the parent doesn't need to come and that the kid'll catch a ride with a friend. The other parents may not be aware that you're the only one doing all the work...in fact, they might be mortified when they find out! That said, you do need to let them know...give them a chance to be mortified :)! You don't need to be rude: just calling a couple of them and saying you won't be able to give a ride tomorrow (or whenever), and asking if they could give your SD a lift next Tuesday (or whenever) might be all it takes to jolt the other parents out of their blissful ignorance.

On the other hand, they might just be a bunch of oafs!

[momma_boo]

I hope it made you feel better to vent, but perhaps you could try speaking to some parents.

But, like Sonia, I was one of those kids who was always bumming rides. My parents didn't get home until 7 every night (and left before I woke up), so we were left on our own most of the time. If I was somewhere until late in the day, they could sometimes pick me up on their way home (if I got a hold of them - this was pre-cell phone days!). Although I did try to return the favor later on. After I got my license, I got my dad's old car, so I became the unofficial chauffeur for the group since I was the only one with a car.

[miki]

I need to stop reading this forum because I keep getting worked up. You should not have to drive 10 miles out of your way. And if the dad was outside, I would just say to him that his daughter probably forgot to tell him she needed a ride and that I was happy to drop off his daughter but with the other things I have going, I won't be able to do it very often.

But like the PP said, it's possible not all the parents know to give a pick up. Maybe the kids think they are going to go hang out somewhere. Or maybe they were like me--I'd call after whatever class or activity ended and if my mom wasn't around, I'd bum a ride or walk or go somewhere and try calling later.

[Marisa6826]

My guess is that you SD is offering rides, so these girls don't bother calling their parents.

When you're 15, your parent's inconvenience doesn't mean anything to you.

My mother worked full time (my father died when I was 10), so I was also one of those kids that depended on the late bus or the kindness of other Moms. However, my psycho Mother refused to drive me anywhere if she was around. All my friends' parents knew that she was kind of crazy, so they took pity on me.

Try having a chat with your SD.

-m

[sntm]

I agree. My bet is first that SD is offering, and second that clueless girls never realized it was a trouble to you. And third, that at least one of them is a latchkey kid and is mildly embarrassed by it and won't think to say anything or thank you for your kindness (um, yeah, that was me. Belated thanks to Laura's mom and Julie's mom and Mary Ann's mom and a couple of others I'm leaving out. <sheepish grin>)

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shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03