My nanny is PREGNANT!

[lmintzer]

Uggg. Just when we are starting to feel back into any semblence of a normal life after baby #2, we are hit with more big news--our nanny (of a year and a half) is pregnant! She is 14 weeks along, due Dec. 8.

Assuming she goes early (or can't really work taking care of my two kiddos much past the beginning of Nov.), I'll need coverage for Nov-March 15 (4 1/2 months) so I can finish my post-doc. Beyond then, I'm not sure what I'm doing. I may look for work, or I might stay home for a while, study for my licensing exam, spend time with kids, etc.

So, what am I supposed to do for 4 1/2 months? Jack is so attached to this person. It's literally going to break his little heart. I know a nanny is a paid employee and not a family member (i.e., they can leave without it being wrong), but the relationship between the child and the caregiver is real. I know we'll have to prepare him for it, and I know how to do that. But it just sucks.

I also don't know how we'll find someone with enough energy to deal with Jack plus Joshua (who will be mobile by then). I swear my kids are so quirky--it takes a while to get to know what they need (random things like white noise to sleep, being carried around a certain way, special songs, etc.). I'm probably not giving them enough credit--Jack, already, has proven more flexible than I originally thought. He started day camp (3 mornings/week) last week and has been totally fine. A little separation anxiety on day 1, but totally reasonable.

I almost slipped up and mentioned the BBB and posting boards as a resource for her. And then I thought "What??" Last thing I need is her reading my posts, lol!

[candybomiller]

I'm really torn about how to respond to this. On the one hand, I'm sorry that you're going to have to find someone else to take care of your kids. But on the other hand, YAY for your nanny!!! She must like kids, otherwise she wouldn't be taking care of yours. This has to be really exciting for her.

As far as offering you advice on what to do... well, I guess it might be time to do some nanny shopping. I don't know if you can afford to do this, but it might be wise to have the two nannies there at the same time for maybe the last 2 weeks or so to make the transition easier. That way the new nanny can pick up on all the quirkyness and your sons can get to know her/him.

Best of luck.

[jbowman]

Lisa,

I feel your pain. My daughter loves our nanny, who has been wonderful, but the nanny's class schedule conflicts with mine in the fall (she's a student--not mine of course!--and I'm a professor).

We are looking for help for a few hours when she can't watch Ellie, and it's been a pain! I have had a sinking feeling for the past month since I've found out (for awhile I thought she couldn't work for us at all).

On the bright side, you do have some advanced notice, but still I know how hard it is. I also agree with you about the attachment b/t caregiver and child.

Good luck! And tell your nanny that 8 December is a great day to have a baby!

[AngelaS]

I used to nanny and worked until 3 days before I gave birth. My boss was a pediatrician and when I started nesting (at her house AND mine) in mid October she was worried I would have the baby early. :D I didn't...I held out until Christmas Day.

My boss was very good at working with me...I was supposed to be on partial bedrest so she didn't want me to do laundry or do anything other than watch the kids the last month or so. The kids and I spent lots of quality time on the couch reading books or playing games. It really worked well.

Planning my 6 week maternity leave(which they paid me for) was a bit more of a headache. Since I had my baby during the holidays, she took some time off as did Daddy and then grandma came and then there was a college student who was off from school...you get the idea. I'm sure it wasn't the best for the kids, but it really did work out okay.

Then, I went back to work, taking my baby with me. Since I was nursing, again we spent lots of time sitting around playing games, reading books and so forth. It was harder on me than on anyone else, but quitting at that time wasn't an option for me.

Is it possible that your nanny would come back, bringing her baby and work until you're done with your classes? Then the kids wouldn't have to transition from her to someone else to you. They would just have some temporary care while she's on leave and then be with her and then with you. :D

[jk3]

How did you cope with partial bedrest + taking care of children? I ask because I had to be on modified bedrest for the last 2 1/2 months + we're thinking about #2. Since full time help won't be an option, I'm curious how you managed. Thanks!

Jenn
DS 6/3/03

[AngelaS]

I had preeclampsia so the goal was to keep my bp down. The kids I had to care for were 4 months, Kindergarten and 2nd grade. :D So, two were gone most of the day and the little one wasn't mobile. When the big kids came home from school, we'd eat lunch (the kindergartener), clean up, then sit and play board games or cards on the floor or read.

Basically, for many things, the big kids were big enough to help. I had to drive them to activities, but they were big enough to get themselves ready and get in the van. We just tried to get ready early so there was no frustration or stressing on anyone's party and things went well. :D

FWIW, my BP didn't go up until they broke my water after the protein in my urine went too high. :D That was three days before my due date.

[McQ]

Sorry I don't have any advice but wanted to let you know that I feel for you. I'd be a wreck if I lost my nanny. So true about the relationship between the child and the caregiver. Hopefully you'll find something that works for you.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[Sarah1]

Lisa,

Ugh. That's tough. On the one hand you're happy for her...on the other hand, you're like, Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know you're in Chicago, and if you haven't tried this already, you might check craigslist (www.craigslist.org) to look for some new help. We have found awesome babysitters through craigslist, and I know people who have found full-time nannies through it as well.

Try not to stress too much about it. I always try and remind myself that Audrey is probably more adaptable than I give her credit for being!!! Of course, you have TWO so I can't give you any advice there!!!!