Anyone tried "cry out" method for your baby's sleep habits?

[diekatze]

Well, here I am agian. I am all frustrated because my DS won't go to sleep til after 12, nap times are all messed up...

He was such a good baby from 4 month or so. He slept through the night and his nap time was pretty much set.

Well, he started crawl and now it's different story. His normal betime was around 7-8pm. Now, he will go to bed around that time but wake up within 30 minutes and starts to cry. I tried to get him back to sleep but won't work. He will be up for another 4-5 hours then he will go to sleep but it has been a battle.

He will go to sleep but once I put him down in his crib, he wakes up and cry. I need to hold him again then he will go back to sleep but once I put him to bed, he wakes up again... This continued til 2am last time.

He will sometimes wake up around 3-4am and the battle starts again. When I hold him, he doesn't want to be held but when I put him down, he starts to cry again. I know babies can be unreasonable but after couple shots, I am frustrated and tired, don't know what to do.

Next day he will wake up at his normal wake up time, 5:30am or 6:00am.
He's sleepy all day and takes three naps instead of two.

Not only that I am frustrated and sleepy, I am concerned that whether this is unhealthy for my DS.

Couple days ago, I purchased "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. In this book, it sounds like establishing good sleep habit is very important since sleep problem can go onto adluthood.

One of my friend who recommanded this book asked me long time ago that I should sleep train my DS, meaning let him cry out for 7 days and there will be peace for everyone in the house including the baby.

I was aginst the "cry out" method and so as my DH and my MIL. But right now, after battling for week or so, I am started to wonder whether it will be beneficial for all member of the family.

The other thing is, before when I hold him, he will eventually goto sleep. Or sleep next to him... But now, he doesn't want to be held. I have to use swing, bouncer, high chair etc in order to get him to sleep. Are these toys good for establishing good sleep habit for my DS???

I am just so tired, don't know what to do, worry that my DS will establish bad sleep habits and will continue to grow that way unless I take some action.

Anyone tried "cry out method", how long did it take and was it effective??? Thank you.

[jk3]

I was against it too especially trying it with a younger baby. We tried a modified cry it out method with our DS when hes was about 10 months old. A few of my friends did the true cry it out method. It has worked well for all of us. There are still some nights that are horrendous but that can usually be attributed to teething or a cold.

My DS is pretty good at putting himself to sleep at this point. This was really important to me since I have major sleeping issues that I hope he can avoid. In any event, we let him cry it out for a few minutes the first night + upped it each night. Usually he doesn't cry when we put him to sleep + if he does it only lasts for a minute or two before he falls asleep.

We had tried it at about 8 months but it didn't work for him + we felt he wasn't ready but a t 10 months we were more consistent and it paid off. He's much more well rested + happier in general. He will go down for naps easily too which is great. He usually plays in his crib for about 5-10 minutes and then lies down and takes a nap.

It can be tough in the beginning but it really only took about 4-5 days for my DS to adjust. Good luck!

Jenn
DS 6/03

[bnme]

We also had sucsess with CIO at about 9 months old. Prior he was a very good sleeper and during a bad teething week I started bringing him into my bed at the 3am wake up since he was unconsolable. From that point on he only wanted to sleep with me. After a very stressful and guilt-ridden 2 weeks I decided to try this method-I also read Weissbluth. It only took a couple of days for it to "work" and we were lucky that our longest cry time was about 45 minutes.

My DS now sleeps 12 hrs a night (6-6) and goes to sleep on his own every night. We very rarely have any issues at bedtime. Naptime is another story........

Good luck!

[KYBelle1102]

I'm just starting it. We went through a spell after vacation (when DS was staying with Granny) and when teething where he was all out of whack. I'm trying to adjust his schedule to earlier to bed. Currently DS doesn't go to bed until 9:00 - 10:00 (naps 2x at .5 - 2 hours at a time during the day).

I guess I'm doing more of a modified Ferber method of letting him CIO, but going back and check on him at 5 - 10 min increments. He seems to take about 30 - 45 minutes that way. I might have to pick him up once. So far though, once he's out, he's out for about 8 hours that way.

Hang in there...it's rough. We'll see how he does after a weekend at his other grandma's house though...

[amp]

I know that lots of people find that CIO works for them. It wasn't something I was comfortable with. Developing a sleep pattern is not easy. Read whatever you can get your hands on (Weissbluth, Ferber, Pantley, etc) and see if you can find a combination of techniques that work for you and your family. Good luck!

[sntm]

Since you seem really reluctant about CIO...

If you want to look at alternatives, consider "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" or "Nighttime Parenting" for general recs or "Good Nights" for cosleeping recs. Also try www.mothering.com and go to their message boards for more support. I'm not a fan of CIO, and though I liked the Weissbluth book for some things (like info on sleep cycles) I thought he was misleading when he suggests that soothing to sleep will engender bad sleep habits. These CIO techniques are fairly recent (the last 100 years or so) and I doubt all of our ancestors were insomniacs! The studies he cites defined bad sleep habits differently from what most of use would consider bad sleep. Also, I know plenty of people who have tried CIO and still had babies with sleep problems, so it's not like CIO is a definite cure-all.

There are definitely other ways to ensure that he and you get some sleep and that don't require you to make your baby cry himself to sleep. Good luck to you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[Puddy73]

I was very reluctant to try CIO, but after 9 months of no sleep I was turning into a zombie, so I know how you feel. I read several books on sleep (Pantley, Ferber & Weissbluth). I think it is helpful to read about different approaches because you can come up with a solution that works best for your baby. For example, I know that Ferber works great for some babies, but my DD got very upset when I kept coming back into the room every few minutes. Weissbluths' schedule worked really well for DD. She seldom cries for more than a few minutes (if at all) when we put her down for a nap or at night. Even in the beginning, she only cried for about 15-20 minutes (although it seemed like an eternity to me!)

Instead of using a swing or bouncer, you may want to try putting your DS in his crib with a "lovey" such as a special stuffed animal or blanket.

Good luck and hang in there - it will get better!

Jennifer
Mommy to Annabelle Mae 9/8/03

[diekatze]

I did put stuffed animals in his crib, let him play with his favorite toys time to time so that he won't be scared of his own crib. Only thing when he wakes up at night, he just cries and cries til I hold him.

Well thank you though. I am bit too confused and I won't try anything new til I get my mind straight first.

[diekatze]

I've also read "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Pantley and did bedtime routine til this thing occured. After bath, I can't even massage him. He normally heads for the stairways which he loves these days. Alot of thimes, his butt is naked since I can't even put his diaper on.

Reading, forget it. He's already half way to the stairway. Sleeping together used to work very well but now he wants to crawl over me. Another play time.

Yes, I am looking for alternative to CIO... But I don't know how long I can stand. Thank you.

[jubilee]

I also read Weissbluth and found out a lot of info on sleep schedules. Just knowing how to read DS's sleep signs helped me out, and finding out what times most babies napped and went to sleep.

The biggest help to my getting my son to sleep well is a lovey and a consistent routine. I started cuddling with him and the lovey before naps and nighttime, and eventually DS built up a great relationship with the lovey and won't sleep without it now.

Also, the consistent routine of dim the lights, sing a song, kisses from everyone, cuddle with lovey and have milk, then lay him down. The routine helps DS know that I expect him to sleep.

Hope you both get a good night's sleep soon!

[diekatze]

Thank you for CIO advise and alternatives.

I've actually tried CIO yesterday but couldn't hold it after 5 minutes. He was crying hard than talking to himself while sobbing. That was too sad to watch. Besides, it was driving my MIL crazy. She voulunteered to get him back to sleep. It took us 4 hours of playing and going back and forth to crib.

He was all wired up today from morning til his bedtime. One thing I tried new is, I took the bouncer down to his room with all the music, dimmed light, shades all down etc. So that he will wake up not surprised by new environment...(does this make sense???) He went to sleep at 7:00 and woke up at 8:00. Went right back to sleep when I rock him for 15 minutes.

I've talked to my DH about it too and he's totally against it. I could be totally careless about his opinion since he soothed his son to sleep less than 10 time max during 10 months of his life. But since I love him dearly and he works hard to give us comfortable life, I will hold CIO method for couple more weeks. Hopefully things will get better or I get adjusted to this.

Thank you everyone and I am very glad that there is "Bitching Post"!

[Vajrastorm]

I find Aine's sleep varies widely, depending upon teething and milestones. When the teeth are coming, or she's learning a new "trick," she is restless all night and wakes easily. It can be hard to get through (we cosleep) but eventually she settles back down. Sometimes it takes a few weeks, and I can relate to how exhuasted you are. I've come to see the better/worse process as part of her normal development, as so many people I know have similar problems at the same times (teething and milestones).

During the learn-to-crawl phase, she'd roll over in her sleep, wake up, get on all fours and rock back and forth while delightedly saying "huh huh huh huh" ROFL. It was so cute it even got a smile from me at 4 am, despite my profound desire to be sleeping.

[s7714]

I didn't exactly use the true CIO method, because I never left DD's room. I used to always nurse or rock DD to sleep, but like you I would get exhausted when she'd wake up when being put down in her crib. I tried a variety of things to try to sooth her back to sleep without taking her out of her crib, but finally the only thing I found that worked was to lay down on her nursery floor and pretend to be sleeping. The first day I did that she cried on and off for about a half hour and then dozed off. BUT, it was more of her just whimpering versus actually crying as if I'd left the room. The rest of the week she gradually took less and less time. That was several months ago. She always slept through the night pretty well, but now she seems to be better at getting herself back to sleep when she does wake up at night or during a nap. If she doesn't seem to be getting back to sleep on her own, I just go in and lay down on the floor, and within a couple minutes she'll be back to sleep. (And if she doesn't go back to sleep, it's a sure sign that she's not feeling well, teething, etc.)

I read about this method in a magazine somewhere actually, and you're supposed to gradually go from laying on the floor to sitting in the doorway and then out of the room altogether. But I'm honestly happy with laying on the floor--she gets to fall asleep with mommy in the room and I get to catch a few zzz's while she's dozing off--it's working well for both of us! ;)

HTH,
Jennifer
Mommy to Annalia 03/03/03

[sntm]

That's a good idea! I forgot about that -- my daycare did something similar with Jack. I agree with Andrie, too, that it may be a teething, thing, etc.

Good luck! I hope things get better for you soon (and get his butt in there to bounce the rocker, at least one night so you can get some sleep!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[JenCA]

I know that sleep training methods aren't for everyone, but we used a modified version of CIO with our DD ("5 in/5 out")), and it worked wonders! We started it when DD was around 6-7 months old. She now goes to bed between 7:45-8pm, sleeps all night, and wakes between 7-8am. She also takes two naps per day (one morning nap and one afternoon nap). Bliss! :) Good luck to you!

[diekatze]

Did you have to show yourself to DD, lying on the floor??? I do sleep in his room most of the days(especially now) but the mattress is off from his sight except one angle.

I might try your method next time, beginning of the sleep time. I don't think it will work when he wakes up during the nightime sleeping because his eyes are usually closed and cries his lungs off.

Thanks.

[diekatze]

What is "5 in/5 out"? Is it that you go in for 5 minutes than come out for five minutes regardless him crying???

How do you do that?? I think I read it somewhere but not sure exactly how you do it. Thanks.

[diekatze]

Mine does wake up, get on all fours and CRY his heart out!!!!
He cries so hard for good 5 minutes even though I am holding him, rock him... Then he goes back to sleep or wakes up completely!!! When he wakes up, obviously he's not in good mood so either my MIL helps in to hold him or I hold him for good 30 minutes. Then he settles down and starts to play... Thank God it didn't happen yesterday. He woke up about 3 times last night but when right back to sleep when I hold him and rocked him for good 15 minutes or so...

My arms are so sore....

[diekatze]

I've done routine til he was 7 month old. I was in NYC, visiting my family and that's the first time he actually rolled over. I didn't exactly follow the routine... Too much going on.

After a month staying, I came back home with him and continued with routine and worked okay til he started to crawl which is about two, three weeks ago.

As I've mentioned somewhere else, can't even put his diaper on. He's always headed for stairway! Sometimes totally naked or butt naked! So I tried changing table to do massaging, dressing but it wouldn't work after 1 day. Reading is out of the story. So I do the reading part when he sits in his highchair having snack or water. Then that's not bedtime routine....

Maybe like some people mentioned, he just learn to crawl and too excited to sleep... Let's see... I really don't want to use CIO but even my MIL was tempted...I try my best but worst comes to worst, I might do light version CIO.

Thank you.

[diekatze]

The bouncer worked well last night even though he wake up about 3 times but went right back to sleep(well, 15 minutes of holding rocking and singing each time). At least he wasn't fully awake to play....

Today 1st morning nap around 8am(even though he wake up at around 6:30--his normal wake up time is 5:30-6...), I used the bouncer again and worked very well. He fall asleep pretty fast and slep for good 1&1/2 hours.

Again at afternoon nap...He wake up after 30 minutes but when I put him back in the bouncer, he went right back to sleep for another 1 hour.

Well, in the evening, I can tell that he was already overtired around 6pm... I tried to hold him first, then bouncer in his room but didn't work. He was screaming and rolling his body all over... So I let him play bit more then put him in the swing. He didn't want to sleep alright...But I kindda avoid his small cries and pretended that I was sleeping... Soon, he fall asleep. Well wake up after 30 minutes but right back to sleep when I hold him for 15 minutes...

I really do not want to use the swing or bouncer but I don't want overtired baby either... I tried to put him in the crib when I see the sign time to time but hasn't been successful. It only wake him up....

Well, thank you for your support.

[s7714]

In one spot she can see me clearly, and the other is closer to the crib, so she sometimes can't see me if she's laying near the far side of the crib. Either spot works. She'll often lie down for a while and I'll hear her lift up her head every so often just to check that I'm still there. Depending on her mood, I'll sometimes lie there singing lullabies to her, but with my eyes closed. For some reason if I'm watching her she just will not go to sleep.

At night when I go in, I do comfort her a little before lying down, so she knows I have come into the room. But then when I go in the room, she’s usually standing at the corner of the crib watching the door. ;) If she’s still asleep enough to be lying down, I usually just try to rub her back in circular motions and hum to her (but I don't pick her up). If that doesn’t work, on the floor I go (unless it seems like there’s really something wrong of course).

On a side note, I do make the room as dark as possible. Also, when I started the process, I started sitting down and reading a book to her before we nursed—just like at bedtime—so she’s make the connection that after we read a book sleepy-time was coming. I think a big part of the reason it was successful is because I made sure there was a set routine for naps, so there was at least a couple minutes of “wind down” time and she always knew what to expect.

HTH,
Jennifer
Mommy to Annalia 03/03/03

[lizajane]

after reading all of your posts in this thread, it seems like you are at the breaking point. i was anti-CIO, too. weren't we all!! but it CHANGED OUR LIVES. we didn't toss our baby into his bed, slam the door and turn up the TV to drown him out. CIO doesn't mean cruelty. we have a sleeper who NEEDS LOTS OF SLEEP. he wasn't getting it. he was miserable. a few days of CIO allowed him to get the sleep he needed and allowed us to regain our sanity and spend more quality time with him. sure, we had some set backs now and then. sure, we rocked him or nursed him back to sleep when he was sick or teething or when travelling. i am sorry if it makes anyone think i am a bad person, but i did not want to spend an hour or more rocking my squirming child to sleep until he was 3. especially knowing that i wanted two close together, and especially now that i got my wish and they will be 22 months apart.

so feel free to email me and i will see if i can remember what we did, when, how, etc.

but the short version is this:
we didn't sit in his room and listen to him cry. then we would all be crying and we would have given up immediately. we used the light feature on our baby monitor to keep a close eye on him. we ate dinner, or watched some tv while we checked on him and checked his monitor. we did go into his room every 5, 10, 15 minutes as ferber recommends. but it didn't work for us. he just started all over again. once we left him alone, he went to sleep in 20 minutes. i do not think we caused him any damage. i do not think he remembers it. i do not think that he was in his bed thinking that no one loved him.

and most importantly- be sure he isn't in pain (from teething, for example.) and if you really don't want to do CIO, then give him a week or two to figure out that he doesn't HAVE to crawl every moment that he is awake. new skills really mess up sleep-time.

hang in there. :)

[diekatze]

Yes, you've pointed out my 1st concern. I do want my DS to get good sleep now and in the future. Hope this is temporary and would go back to his normal betime, nap schedule but if not, everyone will suffer including my DS. I will give little more time on CIO method.

He woke up at 6:30am today and had first nap at 9:30..normally at 8:00. His next nap was at 3:00pm... Then he slept at 9:30pm.
He woke at last night twice and one time he went right back to sleep but second time around 2:40am, he was up for another 2.5 hours, playing outside the crib in his room.(He won't stay in his crib once he's up) I am exhausted and even see dark circles around my eyes...

He was rubbing his eyes and looked not focus all day. Happy here and there but cranky most of the time. Would hold him but he refused. He just wanted to play, play, play.

Even at Gymboree, he was kept knocking himself on the floor even at sitting position. Cried then stop rather quickly but everyone knows him said he looked tired and not himself.

Yes I would like to set somekind of schedule for him and whole family but at this point, it's impossible.

I did not want any kind of argument going on with my post. I just need to hear both side of the story. I was against CIO but now I understand a little why people do. And I appreciate all replies. Thank you.

[tippy]

Hi,

I was also really anti CIO and anti ferber. I read his book "SOLVE YOUR CHILD'S SLEEP PROBLEMS' and that made a HUGE difference. There was so much I didn't know before reading his book. For instance, I didn't understand anything about sleep rythms. I would wait until ds "looked tired", rubbing eyes, yawining etc...before trying to put him down for a nap or for the night. I didn't realize that this was actually NOT a good thing and that I should have been putting him down before he got to that point. I think I also missed a lot of opportunities to get him down before he would get overtired, and wired. I noticed that once he reached that point it is SO MUCH harder to get him to go to sleep. He would fight it and fight it and usually wouldn't sleep well even if he did fall asleep. If I get him down before he reaches that point he will usually fall asleep much easier and have a better nights sleep. The book really helped so much especially when it came to trying to put him on some kind of schedule and when I should be putting him down for naps. Too late and it would interfere with his nights sleep. To early and he would be looking to go to sleep for the night at 4:30 pm! Anyway, I don't know if all this helps but I do recommend Ferber's book.

[pixelprincess]

i was anti-CIO, and DS was sleeping well until 6 months or so. and boom all of a sudden...he wanted to be rocked to sleep.. quite strange for a baby that didn't even want to be held. his routine at bedtime was to stand in his crib and scream until he was picked up, and soothed...but it wouldn't last and he'd wake up with a 2nd wind, sometimes a third after repeat soothing. i'd spend an hour and half putting the boy to sleep...it was quite exhausting.

one of my playgroup mom's suggested CIO. after 3 months of the putting-him-to-sleep over hours cycle, i decided to try it. it was SO hard! the first night he cried for 30 everlasting min...i went in 3 times and picked him (supposedly, a no-no but i felt sick to my stomach), the 2nd night for less than 10m and the third night hardly at all. i have to say it is so much easier now...he can self-soothe (with paci), and seems to have a much better quality of sleep. he is a year old and has been sleeping/napping well for a quite a while.

i am sure you'll end up doing what feels right!

[diekatze]

But when I put him down in his crib before the tired stage, he wants to come out. Even with all the music and bedtime routine for day and night. He normally sleeps in his crib when he's out but when he's awake or sleepy but not fully in sleep yet, he would either cry or eager to come out of the crib. And often that totally wakes him up....

I will order "SOLVE YOUR CHILD'S SLEEP PROBLEMS" book. It seems like alot of people read that book.

Thank you.

[tippy]

Pixelprincess, I just pm'd you.

[tippy]

Good! I'm sure the book will help in some respect. Good Luck.

[m448]

I can certainly empathize with you and hate to say it but been there, done that.

I'm also not comfortable with CIO and have been cosleeping since day one. One thing I've found is that in comparison with other babies Ian's age, they all went through the cycles of not sleeping well despite me not trying to schedule his sleep. It usually meant teeth (he cut 4 in about 3 weeks) or reaching milestones.

I've learned to just cope with it and it will pass soon enough. However, I do keep an eye on him and know when he's ready to sleep.

[kitten72]

We did CIO when DD was 7.5 months old. I did it because I was rocking her for an hour at naptime and then she would sleep maybe 30 minutes. NOT ENOUGH SLEEP for her. After the first 3or4 days she didn't cry at all.

Besides breastfeeding, I think CIO is the best thing I have done for my daughter and for our family.

She sleeps 7pm-7:30am and naps 9:30-11:00 and 2:00-3:30or 4:00 (she is 9 months old now)

I bought a video monitor so I could watch her and I think this is the most important piece of baby equipment I own. I can watch her to see if she is just fussing a little or if she really needs me (like if she has an arm or leg stuck in the crib). I got my video monitor on sale at Radio Shack for $100.

HTH,
Amy

[diekatze]

Wow...sounds great... but I am still hesitant...
I do have video monitor(aren't they great!) and when I watched him cry for 5 minutes, I could not do it.

What I do now is, I do take a nap during the day with him or go to sleep early at night so that I wouldn't be too tired when he wakes up.

He got bit better...I mean, he still wakes up 2-3 times at night. Normally he will go back to sleep within 15 minutes of rocking but sometimes, he's fully awake and wants to play.

I just let him play...while pretending that I am sleeping. Last time he played for an hour by himself and when he got tired, he came to me(mattress on the floor so he can crawl up), wanted me to hold him. I didn't respond to that and he just felt asleep right next to me.

I hope this will pass... if not, I will see.

[diekatze]

You've mentioned that nap is another story...Can you tell me bit more about naps??? I am trying out for CIO and after 4 days, it works fine with bedtime. He cries max 5-10 minutes then go to bed. One day less than a minute. It was two big screams and that was it.

Another great thing, when he wakes up middle of the night, he does't even get up or sit down in his crib. He makes couple sounds and goes right back to sleep.

Only thing I am having hard time with naps. His normal nap time is 8:30 and 1:30. Especially the morning one. Past 4 days that I tried CIO, I had to get him out of the crib since it was his wake up time. He won't cry for full 1 hour but play here and there, cry some then lie down then up again then cry... this repeated for an hour. I picked him up and let him stay up til next nap time.

So I am wondering what you've done... thanks.

[jk3]

What time does he wake up in the morning? 8:30 sounds early for a nap time. Perhaps keep him up an hour or two longer + see how that goes.
Jenn
DS 6/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[diekatze]

He wakes up at 6:00am. I am trying to just it to 7:00am but so far that will be the time that he will wake up.

Before CIO, that was his normal first nap time so I wanted to continue with that.

One of my friend said that he might not need the first nap anymore but he looks tired....

[jk3]

My Ds wakes up between 5:45 -6:30 and takes his first nap generally at 9:30/10. He takes a second nap at around 3-3:30 and goes to sleep for the night between 7:30 and eight. Maybe try a later morning nap to see if that helps. I know this can be very stressful!

Jenn
DS 6/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[diekatze]

It has been 12 days since I tried the CIO method on my DS.
It was so hard and heartbreaking.

I started it since one night he woke up three time and the last one he wanted to play again. I could not hold it anymore and let him cry in his crib for an hour or so. I was right there in the room, sitting next to his crib and about to die. He eventually went to sleep on his own after crying his lungs off for an hour.

So, I started the sleep train with him after that day.
I tried the modified CIO and it didn't seem to work. It just made him more mad. So I did true CIO.

He did pretty well at night time. He didn't wake up and if he did, he went right back to sleep without any crying.

Naps were different. First two days he skipped the morning nap since he cried for one full hour. I picked him up and took him to Gymboree or outside rather than sooth him back to sleep.

After 12 days, he still have issue with naps but for night time, he cries when I walk out of the room but after that he plays in his crib for 5-10 minutes then falls asleep.

For naps, he wouldn't cry more than 15 minutes and also the intensity of crying is different from the first few days. He cries little, plays little, talks to himself little then cry etc.

It was harder since I didn't get ANY support from either DH nor MIL. Only bad comments like it will make his temperment bad for rest of his life, he will have separate anxiety for rest of his life, he's not happy baby anymore etc.They were so mad at me that I wouldn't let them pick him up when he cries and also that I am doing it to this poor baby.

I just kept explaining that it would work in few days and it's not only for me, it would be for everyone including DS.

I've argued with my DH many times and finally I asked his support in tears rather than explaining. Becuase it was so hard for me to watch DS crying through the video. So many time I would just forget this CIO and run into his room and hold him tight. I felt like bad mommy who just let her son cry rather than hold him and give him warm hug.

After couple days, my DH and MIL saw the difference. Especially my DH, he stopped arguing since he saw that I was able to spend more time with him.

Before I went to sleep when DS goes to sleep, in his room not with DH. I was always tired and crancky towards DH since I didn't know where to get my stress out and lack of sleep.

Now I am catching up with photo albums, scapbooks, movies, even preparing night snacks for my DH who has odd working hours. Before he just brought fastfood or instant food when he comes home at 1 am from work.

During the day, I am able to read books on baby food, sleep behavior, discipline, etc. I don't have to take naps because I can get full 6-8 sleep at night. I have more energy and not so crancky anymore. I give more attention to DS and play with him more.

For DS, he's calmer, more focused. He's still seem bit tired from crying but I heard soon it will be gone as the crying decreases.
He's pretty much in set schedule. Nap#1 starts at 8:45 takes full hour. Nap#2 starts at 1:30-2 and takes full 2 hours. Bedtime routine starts at 7 then he goes to sleep around 7:30 til 6, 6:30 in the moring.

I would love to see him go to sleep with zero crying and not comfortable when I walk out of his room while he's crying but I guess it's taking bit longer since my DS is almost a year old and never had to sooth himself to sleep before. My MIL or I were always there for him when it comes to sleep time.

I am happy with the result and thank you ladies for all your support.
I feel like I got part of my life back. If I have next baby, I would sleep train him/her much earlier age so that it wouldn't require too much crying and start health sleep habit.

Thanks again.

[trentsmom]

Congratulations! I also did CIO (Weissbluth) with my son. It was a tough few days, but now the whole family is happier. I can actually get things done around the house now! Another benefit is that DS makes it plainly known when he wants to go to his crib to go to sleep. He doesn't want to be held or rocked, just wants to be put in his crib. Heaven!

[s7714]

Congratulations on your success! Just remember that things like teething are going to occasionally through a wrench into things. So don't get discouraged if he suddenly seems to take a step backward. DD has done that a couple of times and each time it's taken a couple weeks to ease back into our "routine" again, but things always work out in the end.

Jennifer
Mommy to Annalia 03/03/03

[Puddy73]

Yaaay! I'm so glad that CIO worked for you and DS! We followed Weissbluth also - it was hard initially, but we are so glad that we did.

Jennifer
Mommy to Annabelle Mae 9/8/03

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

[jubilee]

Yipee! Sleep for both of you! :) Im glad it is working out for you. As for people saying CIO will lead to separation anxiety- not true! My 12 year old is very sweet and easy going, very confident and secure in himself, and NO separation anxiety ever. My youngest still is quite clingy, but that is just his personality not because of CIO.

[Jeanmick]

Congratulations. I can relate on relatives questioning your decision about CIO 'cause my mom was the same way initially. She also gets on my case about how strict I am about their bedtime routines and schedules (but that's another story).

I also had worries on whether CIO would negatively impact my children, but all I have to say that both kids are GREAT sleepers now, thanks to Weissbluth's book. They're also happy children overall and I think it has a lot to do with the quality and quantity of sleep they get now. They usually go to sleep by themselves without any fuss. Our whole family wakes up in the AM all ready to start the day refreshed (well, most of the time, anyway :) ). As a PP mentioned above, there will be times that you DS will wake due to other issues, but hang in there. Your DS will be just fine!

[tippy]

YEA!!!! So happy to hear about your sucess. Just one quick not on the nap situation. When ds was about 15 mo old his nap schedule changed. He went from needing two naps to one nap and we had a little bit of a rocky time before getting that whole thing down. If I'm too late to put him down for his nap now he will rub the side of his head (his sign for being tired) and walk to his crib!

By the way, your ds is adorable!!!

[diekatze]

When do you pick him up besides sickness?

I got the book when we just started to have sleep issue so I couldn't read all the chapters. I am starting with all the chapters now-since I have more time(^___^)

Only thing, I am wondering when to go in and pick him up when he wakes up middle of the night or during the naps??

Normally when he didn't reach the full sleep time, just leave him in the crib til he reaches the time eventhough he cries. The he goes back to sleep.

But if you didn't know he was sick then he wakes up middle of the night, how can you tell??? After one hour of intense crying or ????

Oh, and also how do you change the early bedtime to bit late?? No matter what I do, it seems like my DS wakes up between 5:30-6:30am.

Either I have to bring his bedtime early-now it's 7:30 to 6:00 to reach full 12 hours of sleep.

He's not getting full 15+hours of sleep as mentioned in the book. I want him to stay up little late so that we can all have good family time...

I guess I just get down to the reading business.

Thank you.

[jubilee]

I try to meet the needs of my son- he has a need for sleep (but of course, he tried to fight that- like your son) and he has a need for comfort. I consider my 16 month old son to be a good sleeper, but we had to follow Weissbluth to get that way. In the middle of the night my son will occassionally wake up, and in fact he did tonight. After a minute, if the wimper turns to a full cry, I will go get him. After I determine if he is sick or needs a new diaper, we sit together and snuggle... all in the dark. I give him a little milk or water. And make sure he has his lovey (which is essential to a peaceful sleep) and put him back to bed and he goes right back to sleep. Usually, a total of 5 minutes out of his crib.

If during a nap, he gets wound-up and crying, I just get him out of bed... but that is really really rare. Normally if he doesn't go to sleep right away, he will just quietly play. If he doesn't get a full hour nap (again, rare) I will let him play if he's quiet. If he is upset, I'll get him early. Again, I try to comfort when that is needed, but the wimper cries are typically just "protest" cries... and he might protest but he still is tired and needs sleep.

I hope my perspective helped,

[PJAlama]

We let DS "cry it out" at bedtime when he was just a couple of weeks old, because it was the only way we could all get to sleep at night. I don't remember how many times we had to do it, but pretty soon he became a good sleeper. He used to fall asleep with no problem during his bedtime feeding, but since he turned about 10 months old he's been a bit harder to get to sleep -- sing to him, rock him, nurse him, rock him, nurse him some more, sometimes turn on my Celtic Harp tape and rock him some more -- but if all else fails, when he's nodded off a couple of times & then woken up upon being put in the crib, I leave the room and let him cry. He generally cries for less than a minute before conking out, and then sleeps through the night.

I know that certain people are going to claim that, given my depraved behavior in letting him cry it out at 2 weeks old, the baby must be starved, dehydrated, and emotionally scarred, so for the record, he's 11 months old today, about 24 pounds, about 30 inches, talkative, cheerful, & affectionate.

pja

[PJAlama]

We let DS "cry it out" at bedtime when he was just a couple of weeks old, because it was the only way we could all get to sleep at night. I don't remember how many times we had to do it, but pretty soon he became a good sleeper. He used to fall asleep with no problem during his bedtime feeding, but since he turned about 10 months old he's been a bit harder to get to sleep -- sing to him, rock him, nurse him, rock him, nurse him some more, sometimes turn on my Celtic Harp tape and rock him some more -- but if all else fails, when he's nodded off a couple of times & then woken up upon being put in the crib, I leave the room and let him cry. He generally cries for less than a minute before conking out, and then sleeps through the night.

I know that certain people are going to claim that, given my depraved behavior in letting him cry it out at 2 weeks old, the baby must be starved, dehydrated, and emotionally scarred, so for the record, he's 11 months old today, about 24 pounds, about 30 inches, talkative, cheerful, & affectionate.

pja