16 month old still wont sleep in crib!!!!!! please help

[Xariklia]

My best friend is at her wits end. her ds screams and screams when she puts him in his crib. she has tried everything, she really has. and he is definetly not in any kind of pain, because he will sleep anywhere else like a rock. she can't bear to hear him scram so she caves in and brings him into her bed where he sleeps all night. she tried ferberizing, but he just got more worked up when she would come into the room to calm him down. it would make things worse. she tried staying in the room, sleeping on the floor, nothing. she tried putting her pillow or clothing in his crib, nothing. she rocks him to sleep, and then tries to lay him down, and he starts screaming. she puts him in awake too, nothing. i don't understand, how he can be sleeping for almost an hour outside his crib, but them he wakes up screaming. she is considering getting him a toddler bed, i know he is too young, but he doesn't fall out of their bed. but there is no guarantee that the toddler bed will work either. does anyone have any experience in this matter with any suggestions? i am all out of things to tell her and i feel so helpless. i want to help her. my dd is 4 months younger than her son and she has no problems sleeping. but my techniques don't work on him. please help me help her ds. thanks

[pritchettzoo]

If he's that opposed to the crib, why push it? It's not developmentally necessary to sleep in cribs. ;) Is she just trying to get him out of their bed? If that's the case, she could put the mattress from the crib (which is the same size as a toddler bed I believe) or a twin mattress beside their bed and then slowly move it out of their room into his own. He could sleep just on the mattress, sort of Montessori style, until he's ready for the height of a box springs and frame.

Also, the boards at www.mothering.com have a forum especially for cosleepers with lots of threads on gently removing the child from the bed.

Anna

[jal]

Sounds exactly like our DS at exactly the same age.

After several months of co-sleeping, DW agreed to finally try the cry-it-out method to get DS to sleep in his own room. The first night we tried, it was obvious that DS was never going to sleep in his crib again. We had a twin bed in storage in the basement, so we moved the crib out of the way and placed just the mattress on the floor where the crib was. DW had to sleep with DS in the new bed that night, but the next day, we dismanteled the crib and moved it to storage. Within three days, DS was sleeping in his new bed in HIS room by himself.

DS did fall out of the bed a couple of times at first. But the fall was less than 1 foot onto a carpet with carpet padding underneth. Within a few weeks, he learned to not fall out.

Since then DS is almost 2yo and we've been able to add the box springs. Never has any problems falling out.

Our only real problem is that currently the bed is wedged against the wall and DS sleeps in the corner. Normally, this is a suffocation hazard because if the mattress slips a little, DS could fall and get trapped between the wall and bed and suffocate. But with so much bed in so much contact with so much carpet, it's creating so much friction that we've found it impossible for DS to ever slide the bed even just a little (it's also wedged between the wall and a dresser). My worry is that eventually we'll have to place the bed up on bed rails and bed posts and slipping will become an issue. Since he sleeps in the corner, I'm worried that when we reach that point, falling out of bed (now a couple of feed off the floor) will once again become an issue.

[liya]

Ari never slept in his crib. It served as something to look at rather than something to sleep in. We bough him a small toddler bed to get him out of our bed(we were cosleeping) and now we are slowly transitioning him to the bed in his room. He can take an open bed any day but a crib NO WAY..... I agree with the above posters about trying stuff with cribs and even toddler beds :) my son can get in and out of it since he was about 13 months old and he has been in there since then....

[sirensrise]

does he like the crib at all? meaning that when he is not sleeping, does he mind playing in the crib? if he is, i would start with have him play in the room where the crib is, very slowly move closer to the crib over days. then try to play briefly in the crib, until he is at least no longer afraid of the crib and go from there.
the book i found to be very useful is the baby whisperer, there is a website with a forum too. in the book, she has specifically addressed that issue. i dont like or agree with everything she says, but still it is very helpful. she also takes phone consultation by the way.

[cincy mom]

I don't have any advice, but I certainly can empathize with your friend. DD just turned one and hates her crib. I'm at a loss over what to do. It doesn't matter if we try to get her to sleep in the crib or just put her it in it to play, DD will alternate screaming and holding her breath until we take her out. DD will sleep through the night in our bed. If we move her from our bed to her crib after she is asleep, she will awake at least once an hour and scream until we get her.

Mom to Caroline
7-3-03