Hormonal Pregnancy Rant about DH

[lmladuke]

OK, I do not remember being this hormonal when PG with DS 3 years ago, but honestly, I am so totally annoyed with my DH. First of all, I have 3 weeks left to go with this baby, so I am getting to the tired/hot/uncomfortable stage. Second, for the last month I have been going for weekly non-stress tests and ultrasounds because my amniotic fluid is slightly low. Doctors have advised me to try and rest and relax (not so easy with a 3 year old) and DH does NOTHING to try and help me.

The only things he will do is yardwork, trash and play with DS. I am so freaking sick of trying to do houswork, care for DS, get everything ready for baby while DH looks like Mr. Fun playing with DS. When I mention it to him DH says "Ill do whatever you tell me to do" DUH - figure out what needs to be done and make and effort to help me!

We are having DS's b-day party tomorrow - a few weeks earlier than his b-day (and mine) but just in case I am in hospital we decided to play it safe. WEe gave him his present early - John Deere Gator Ride on tractor. Well, you can guess who is outside playig with DS and the car while I am in the house crying trying to make cookies and clean house.

DH has done nothing to help me prepare for the new baby - all he wants to talk about is what we will name her. To top it all off I have to deal with his PITA mother who continuously calls me about things she needs and wants. DH thinks I am overreacting to his parents.

Sorry this is so long, I am just sick and tired of feeling like I do everything and no one is really doing much for me - nor do they seem to care. (one exception - my mother who has been great)

Is the such thing as Pre-partum depression (ha ha). Any other pregnant women feeling the same way?

Lori

Mommy to Jonathan 7/27/01
and to Baby Girl EDD 7/31/04

[McQ]

Feeling similar (but not quite the same) here. My DH is great, does 110% and then some, BUT he has been traveling a bunch the last few months so I'm often alone and am doing it all myself. So I know it's not fun. I'd be incredibly ticked if he was home and not helping out.

I so hear you on the "figure it out yourself and just do it" part but since he isn't, give him a long list of things that need to be done. And make sure to set some time for yourself.

And while it wasn't my MIL, my father who has called me four times this week to say absolutely nothing called again last night after 9pm only to wake up Declan. Needless to say he got an earful once I got Declan settled back down.

So hang in there, give your husband a list, and enjoy the party!

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[lizajane]

um, yeah. i think there are a few of us that can emphathize. i have to admit that dh has been pretty good lately. but he is supppppppppposed to clean the kitchen before bed at night and it hasn't been happenin' every night. more like one out of three. and then the ants from he** show up so that the first thing i see in the am is a festival of freakin' ants all over my counters where i prepare food for my pregnant self and my child.

somehow, even though dh had to work outside all week in 95 degree weather, i managed to get him to take on ds all day today. of course, my free time has included 4 loads of laundry, vacuuming the whole middle floor, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the guest room for BIL's visit today, cleaning the living room and finally (but this was for me) watering, weeding and trellis-ing the cukes in the garden.

now if only he left me the KEYS to the truck that is blocking in my CAR so that i could LEAVE and get a smoothie and a cheapie pedicure because DARNIT I DESERVE IT BUT HE IS 20 MINUTES LATE TO GET HERE FOR DS'S NAP!!

wait. i think my emphathy turned into "my own personal hyjack your rant" rant. ;)

[StaceyKim]

Hey Lori, I am due a few days before you! Also having a girl! I can relate to the heat!!!! I am SOOOO HOT and sick of people making stupid comments to me..."your baby has dropped, your not going to make it another day", "whoa, you look like you are going to pop", "you are having a boy!", etc. etc. sorry, 'nuff 'bout me....


As far as
>>When I mention it to him DH says "Ill do whatever you tell me to do" DUH - figure out what needs to be done and make and effort to help me!>>
Honestly, most guys need some direction. I would put a list together of things I would like him to help out with and give it to him. Seriously, men cannot read minds and have no idea what we want unless we tell them.

Good luck in the next few weeks!

[nwaddellr]

I swear, guys lack the "seeing dirt" gene, and can just walk around stuff that would drive me crazy. If he wants a list of things to do, by all means give him one. He needs the direction and you'll feel better because you've told him what you want done.

And family can always get your goat (and marriage just increases the amount of family that can get you LOL)!

[Rikkele]

Your DH sounds EXACTLY like mine! Not a bad person just CLUELESS about what needs to be done around here if it's not yardwork. I am 7wks postpartum and everything you are saying feels like it was just yesterday to me.
<<When I mention it to him DH says "Ill do whatever you tell me to do" DUH - figure out what needs to be done and make and effort to help me!>>
Why can they not see the dishes in the sink or the dogs' empty water bowl, or the trash spilling over, or the laundry that needs to be folded. I am feelin' your pain, believe me! You could make a list of what needs to be done but I always felt like I could do it myself faster than the time it would take to make a list.
I say run, don't walk to your nearest yellow pages and schedule a cleaning service to come in weekly or bimonthly or whatever you want. You will really need and appreciate it once your baby comes. I finally insisted on it this past week and it is the best thing I have done for myself. Otherwise you could be like stupid me and be walking around hunched over 3 days post-c-section taking out the trash and washing dishes. WTH!
Take care of yourself and your baby!!
Hang in there, your little blessing will be here soon...

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

Not pregnant but I feel the same way..
It is so hard! Tell DH that if he is not going to step up to the plate with the housework then you will hire someone to do it for him...that always works for me.
As far as the MIL- GET CALLER ID!!!! I did and now I never even answer the phone when MIL calls!
Good luck

[masetane]

You know what - don't bother cleaning the house anymore and just don't worry abou it!!!!!!!!!! Get your rest and if you hubby complains ask him to do it. That's what I did with my hubby. I also stopped cooking except my toddlers meals. I just couldn't stand long enough and whatever I made for her I doubled it and froze it. If hubby was hungry, I smiled and said it got too hard to stand. Would you mind cooking or ordering something!!!
Caroline
Isabelle 10/1/00
Nicholas 2/27/03

[KYBelle1102]

I'm with you.... I'm way away from my EDD, but DH has been working long hours (until 8:30 p.m. or later). After being at work all day myself, I have to go home and deal with a crawling 10 month old and 3 cats, plus housework.

DH will do housework (dishes, laundry, etc) and take care of the baby somewhat, but certain things irritate the crap out of me. He'll do the laundry, but if he's going to do it, I wish he'd make sure he gets all of it for the load. He'll leave a sock here, the bottoms to Spencer's pajamas there, a shirt in the living room (how did that get there?) He'll watch the baby, change the baby, give the baby a bottle...but, if I died tomorrow, the child would never take a bath again. He just won't give him a bath...that's part of my bedtime routine now with Spencer, and DH disrupts that if he's watching Spencer. Grrr... Oh, and don't even get me started about the bathroom... DH works on the philosophy that if soap and water are present in the same room, the tub is likely clean.

Sorry to hijack your rant, but you aren't alone...