McQ
07-20-2004, 12:01 PM
I'm at the end of my rope. What's precipitating this is that DH has been traveling a lot for work these last few months. I told him he was grounded come August so he's been cramming in all his business trips in before then. I've pretty much been on my own off and on since May. He's usually home on weekends but the last 5 weekends he's either been away or we've been away together. I've had enough. I need to stay home. I need him to stay home. I need some help.
So this weekend we had to go to his mother's. I'm burning this wretched memory in my brain so next summer when I feel guilty that she hasn't seen Declan since Christmas I can call up this post and not get sucked into it again. It was awful. Just plain awful. DH went up a few days ahead of us so he could do some things that needed fixing around her house. Things he couldn't do with Declan there. And things that I didn't need to be there for since I'd be stuck with her while he was doing the repairs. It was 48 hours of hell. Declan & I got there on Saturday and the house was worse than I remembered. My MIL is the knick knack queen. Every square inch of surface and wall space has some kind of crap on it. There was an end table with 6 or 7 miniature ceramic pitchers on it. The coffee table has 2 antique porcelain domes covering candles. The remote control tray is ceramic. There were candles sitting in glass bowls filled with MARBLES on the floor. There were ceramic and glass items all over the house. She had mardi gras beads hanging from her lamps. She had tea cups lining her window sills. Crap crap crap crap crap crap. And she didn't bother to pick up anything up (mush less clean around it). Does she not think that a 15 month old will touch anything. No, she didn't care. She told me he could touch whatever he wanted and she pretty much thought I was a freak for moving all her crap. Not only that, when a friend of hers stopped by and we were doing bubbles outside we went to go talk inside and she said to Declan that he could bring the bubbles into the house. I said no he couldn't, that the bubbles needed to stay outside. She turned around and looked me dead in the face and said he could do whatever he wanted to in her house. And I said no he couldn't, that he would not be allowed to run amuck and that bubbles were not appropriate for indoors. She shrugged her shoulders and said "geez, what am I going to do with you". WTF! What's she going to do with me. What am I going to do with you lady. Argh. So fast forward many more moments like this until the last day when Declan got into her linen closet and found a can of scrubbing bubbles. I said "we don't play with cleaners" and took it away from him. She again said that he can play with anything he wants. I said he doesn't play with cleaning products and she says there were none in there. I said there were scrubbing bubbles and her reply was "oops, what do I know". Apparently not much. And to think that DH even suggested taking Declan up ahead of time so she could watch Declan to give me a break. I don't think so.
On top of all this, she's a horrible conversationist. The woman doesn't talk. She sits back and wants you to do all the talking. So I asked about all the family, her friends, and what not. I really tried but she's just so darn boring and full of stupid sayings. This one time we're in the living room watching tv and she says "Allison, don't you want to talk to me?" I say "sure, what do you want to talk about?" Her reply "oh the birds and the bees, the flowers and the trees, whatever you want to talk about". WTF! How on earth do I respond to that!
And she's a horrible cook. Her refrigerator is so cluttered that she found a ham in there. Who loses a ham in a refrigerator?! And then keeps offering it to her guests. Gross.
DH was not helping one bit as she was driving him nuts too so he was still "finishing" his projects. So he pretty much shafted me the whole weekend. Until he dropped the frick fracken bomb on me that he might have to be away for work again this week, and maybe some next week. Argh! Not what I needed to hear.
So finally it's time to go. We have an hour and 15 minute flight home. Well wouldn't you know it that the flight was delayed. And then they boarded us and made us wait while they pumped the bathroom. And then they couldn't land at our home airport so they circled for well over an hour. And then they ran out of fuel so we got diverted to another airport. So then we waited on the tarmac while they refueled and issued us a new flight plan. All in all it took us about 8 hours to get home. Declan (who has 4 teeth including molars coming in) had been a trooper through most of this missed a nap and refused to sit in his carseat on the plane was not a happy camper but finally feel asleep on me. The best part of the weekend but exhausting and I felt so helpless that I couldn't make him feel better.
So once we get home and got Declan to bed I pretty much had my meltdown. I really can't take DH traveling all the time and leaving me home pregnant with a toddler - even a good toddler. I'm starting to stress out. My body is starting to hurt. I can't keep up this pace. I haven't done anything for myself in ages. I need a hair cut. I missed my yoga classes. I don't get any down time. I've been too tired to exercise at night when Declan goes to bed that I'm really freaked out by the weight I'm gaining and that I won't be prepared for labor. Yes I know I'm pregnant but I feel like for every pound I've gained in my belly, I've gained one in my rear end. I'm not doing well with that at all. I'm not going to be ready to have this baby. I'm 32 weeks - Declan was born at 35 weeks. I'm scared that I'll go early again and I'm not going to be ready. I've got to slow down, I just don't know how. My nanny helps a lot but I work her longer hours when DH goes out of town so I can't ask her to stay even longer. DH & I make extra meals in advance so all I have to do is heat them but there are days when I'm just too tired to even eat. I really don't know what to do next or how I'm gong to make it through these next 2 weeks if DH has to be out of town.
Thanks for coming to my pity party if you've made it this far. I know I can come here to vent, but I need suggestions on how to make it through. Why does it have to be this hard!
Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04
So this weekend we had to go to his mother's. I'm burning this wretched memory in my brain so next summer when I feel guilty that she hasn't seen Declan since Christmas I can call up this post and not get sucked into it again. It was awful. Just plain awful. DH went up a few days ahead of us so he could do some things that needed fixing around her house. Things he couldn't do with Declan there. And things that I didn't need to be there for since I'd be stuck with her while he was doing the repairs. It was 48 hours of hell. Declan & I got there on Saturday and the house was worse than I remembered. My MIL is the knick knack queen. Every square inch of surface and wall space has some kind of crap on it. There was an end table with 6 or 7 miniature ceramic pitchers on it. The coffee table has 2 antique porcelain domes covering candles. The remote control tray is ceramic. There were candles sitting in glass bowls filled with MARBLES on the floor. There were ceramic and glass items all over the house. She had mardi gras beads hanging from her lamps. She had tea cups lining her window sills. Crap crap crap crap crap crap. And she didn't bother to pick up anything up (mush less clean around it). Does she not think that a 15 month old will touch anything. No, she didn't care. She told me he could touch whatever he wanted and she pretty much thought I was a freak for moving all her crap. Not only that, when a friend of hers stopped by and we were doing bubbles outside we went to go talk inside and she said to Declan that he could bring the bubbles into the house. I said no he couldn't, that the bubbles needed to stay outside. She turned around and looked me dead in the face and said he could do whatever he wanted to in her house. And I said no he couldn't, that he would not be allowed to run amuck and that bubbles were not appropriate for indoors. She shrugged her shoulders and said "geez, what am I going to do with you". WTF! What's she going to do with me. What am I going to do with you lady. Argh. So fast forward many more moments like this until the last day when Declan got into her linen closet and found a can of scrubbing bubbles. I said "we don't play with cleaners" and took it away from him. She again said that he can play with anything he wants. I said he doesn't play with cleaning products and she says there were none in there. I said there were scrubbing bubbles and her reply was "oops, what do I know". Apparently not much. And to think that DH even suggested taking Declan up ahead of time so she could watch Declan to give me a break. I don't think so.
On top of all this, she's a horrible conversationist. The woman doesn't talk. She sits back and wants you to do all the talking. So I asked about all the family, her friends, and what not. I really tried but she's just so darn boring and full of stupid sayings. This one time we're in the living room watching tv and she says "Allison, don't you want to talk to me?" I say "sure, what do you want to talk about?" Her reply "oh the birds and the bees, the flowers and the trees, whatever you want to talk about". WTF! How on earth do I respond to that!
And she's a horrible cook. Her refrigerator is so cluttered that she found a ham in there. Who loses a ham in a refrigerator?! And then keeps offering it to her guests. Gross.
DH was not helping one bit as she was driving him nuts too so he was still "finishing" his projects. So he pretty much shafted me the whole weekend. Until he dropped the frick fracken bomb on me that he might have to be away for work again this week, and maybe some next week. Argh! Not what I needed to hear.
So finally it's time to go. We have an hour and 15 minute flight home. Well wouldn't you know it that the flight was delayed. And then they boarded us and made us wait while they pumped the bathroom. And then they couldn't land at our home airport so they circled for well over an hour. And then they ran out of fuel so we got diverted to another airport. So then we waited on the tarmac while they refueled and issued us a new flight plan. All in all it took us about 8 hours to get home. Declan (who has 4 teeth including molars coming in) had been a trooper through most of this missed a nap and refused to sit in his carseat on the plane was not a happy camper but finally feel asleep on me. The best part of the weekend but exhausting and I felt so helpless that I couldn't make him feel better.
So once we get home and got Declan to bed I pretty much had my meltdown. I really can't take DH traveling all the time and leaving me home pregnant with a toddler - even a good toddler. I'm starting to stress out. My body is starting to hurt. I can't keep up this pace. I haven't done anything for myself in ages. I need a hair cut. I missed my yoga classes. I don't get any down time. I've been too tired to exercise at night when Declan goes to bed that I'm really freaked out by the weight I'm gaining and that I won't be prepared for labor. Yes I know I'm pregnant but I feel like for every pound I've gained in my belly, I've gained one in my rear end. I'm not doing well with that at all. I'm not going to be ready to have this baby. I'm 32 weeks - Declan was born at 35 weeks. I'm scared that I'll go early again and I'm not going to be ready. I've got to slow down, I just don't know how. My nanny helps a lot but I work her longer hours when DH goes out of town so I can't ask her to stay even longer. DH & I make extra meals in advance so all I have to do is heat them but there are days when I'm just too tired to even eat. I really don't know what to do next or how I'm gong to make it through these next 2 weeks if DH has to be out of town.
Thanks for coming to my pity party if you've made it this far. I know I can come here to vent, but I need suggestions on how to make it through. Why does it have to be this hard!
Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04