Opinions are like ***holes: Everyone has one and they all stink.

[bostonsmama]

Man, I hope I'm not being too candid when I say this, but I've been blown away at how not nice some of the users get on some of the forums. I've been viewing these threads for over a year, and I recently became a member because I thought I had something useful to contribute, but I just can't get over how certain members seem to attack and maligne others for trying to save money.

I mean, come on, the TITLE OF THIS MESSAGE BOARD is Baby ***BARGAINS***...not Baby Spend-A-Lot or Baby Highway Robbery. My heart goes out to the moms who are swarmed by shop owners, small business activists and corporate associates who try to advance their own agenda on these forums. I can't imagine what the Fields must be thinking when they sit back and see how things can get taken out of hand.

My gosh, I still remember the time that the Colgate representative asserted that his mattress was "superior" because after all, "it costs more...duh!"

We all have our little splurges (five too many strollers...or an Ella diaper bag....or eight different slings) and we all know when something is more expensive, but it's worth it (like the KinderZeat or Diaper Genie)...but I think we're a long ways off from chastizing moms who don't agree with us (or don't have the money to agree with us) without us predicting the end of the civilized world because of their choices.

I can't help but think these posters need to find another place to roam. Am I alone in this?

[mharling]

While I can't disagree with you that a lot of materialism is present here, I have not picked up on members being attacked for trying to save money. I'm sorry you feel the way you feel, but I still think this is a great community.

Mary
Lane 4/03
#2 Due 3/2/05
http://lilypie.com/days/050302/0/0/1/-6/.png

[bostonsmama]

I totally agree with you....this is the best community ever. I have learned so much, and I enjoy the relationships I've built with many of the great, experienced moms these boards attract. And fortunately, I've never been on the receiving end of any of the mess, but I just read another post in Nursery Necessities where a mom asked about where to buy a glider online and a poster responded that it's "because of people like her" that the whole world is going to crap and no one has any jobs...blah, blah, blah. More anger and venom about the fall of small, overpriced specialty shops. Very unnecessary! I wanted to leave a negative comment...but I don't know the poster too well. Maybe she was just having a bad day...or whatever...but highly inappropriate.

It exists...read around a little.

[Marisa6826]

I'm sorry you have had such a negative experience here. By and large, I think that we are all pretty much a happy family. Of course, we have our loons, but what family doesn't?

I'd be lost without all my Cybermommy friends here. They have been my shoulder, source of comfort and support, and backbone when I've needed it most.

-m

[Marisa6826]

I have found that Nursery Necessities is a bit of a black sheep here. There are quite a few trolls (who undoubtedly are out for their own interests - business and otherwise) that don't frequent the other forums.

Unfortunately, that forum happens to be where the "newbies" stop first :(

If you look at the lower right corner (I think) of your box, you can hit "alert" and that will send a notice to the Fields about any inappropriate behaviour.


-m

[bostonsmama]

Thanks for the tip. I might do that. I appreciate the input because I always saw that the most "controversial" things pop up there. I love the open, accepting, and helpful comments of the women in Feeding and I love the women who rave about their slings...a hysterical bunch.

and thanks for bringing back my sense of humor about this all. I guess it just got to me for a second...all these fertility drugs I'm taking are making my brain go out of whack!

[jbowman]

ITA with Marisa and Mary.

These boards have been a source of great comfort, support, and information for me! My experience has been that the women here are always quick to help if someone has a problem or a question.

ETA: I just read the further posts. I generally stick to the lounge, this forum, and the feeding forum, so I don't really "see" the negativity that you mentioned. That said, when I first started reading the boards, I only "wandered around" the stroller/diaper bag (at the time), etc., forums, since I was choosing baby gear.

I am sorry that you've had that experience...there are so many neat people here!

[Vajrastorm]

Hmmm, maybe that explains it. I never go into NN, and frankly I couldn't understand where the OP was coming from.

Yes, we egg each other on to spend too much, but I haven't encountered "special interests" promoting themselves except in the Colgate instance. That was the only one I've ever seen.

[Dscvrlifewith3]

Wow, I guess I haven't seen this too much. (not looking in the right place perhaps) I think this is one of the best forums I have ever posted on and I have been active online for 8 years, and lurking and posting here for sometime. The community is great and there is not a lot of sniping, even with disagreements. I post on MDC and I am a black sheep there, getting hate mail and nastee PMs from the so called "gentle" mommas and crunchy mommas because I am the "cesarean goddess" and I am "on the fence" so to speak.

I think this is a great place for comparrison shopping and to find a bargain, unfortunately a lot of the items people are getting bargains on, are expensive items for baby and still may be over priced for the regular consumer.

I am sorry you are unhappy though!

[Melanie]

Wow, I'm sorry you have been greated so poorly. I, too, was confused at your comment. However I never go into nursey necessities since my son is a toddler and my nursery was set when I first posted here.

Look around, there are friendly posters in other areas (just don't bring up Bush, Kerry or Moore! LOL!)

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif

[C99]

I have seen what you're talking about -- and not just on products-only forums like Carseats and Nursery Necessities, so I understand what you mean. The tone can be a little too much to take at times. But I also think this board is a great place to go for just about anything, and I'm amazed to see people being so warm and open on a public board.

[mharling]

I haven't been in NN for a while, so I guess that explains it!

You seem like a fun and kind person. I look forward to you sticking around so we can get to know you!

Mary
Lane 4/03
#2 Due 3/2/05
http://lilypie.com/days/050302/0/0/1/-6/.png

[Marisa6826]

FWIW, I alerted Alan and Denise last night about it. It was, indeed, a troll (people with very few posts that cause trouble).

I know the fertility drug thing all together too well.

Come hang with us in the Lounge ;)

-m

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Getting nasty emails from the "gentle" moms....
I honestly feel if someone has to tell you they are a "gentle mom" peel back those covers!!!!!!!

Maybe I should take advantage of the cyber world and start describing myself in sucy lovely words
"gentle, beautiful, skinny, perfect"...
The more they tell you WHAT they are the more I doubt them!!!!!!!
It must be fun to try to "invent" yourself in the cyber world...

I don't know I feel like I can read people like a book-so I avoid anyone like that...

We have this one gal on one board I am on (not here but don't want to say since I have sent her here in the past) but she describes HERSELF all day long on that board as so "natural, crunchy, gentle" and YOWZA you do one thing that she doesn't do and she won't let the conversation die I swear-and with venom, she'll read you ever text book and you hear "her way" non stop...yet this "natural mom" is on like 100 message boards. And I guess I should add the message board where we all here her sermons is not about parenting but adopting.
I always butcher the saying but it goes something like this "if you knew how little people cared about what you do you'd realize your wasting your time telling them all day long"...
This "gentle" mom seems to be on every message board out there according to what she says at times...
For parenting I am on this one and only this one
For Ukraine adoption I am 3 (and should be spending my time that way since adopting INDY from a foreign land).



Neve and Tristan born Feb 25, 2003
* EDD #2 3/18/05 as of 8/10 things looking "great"
*Traveling in Jan insearch of the rest of our family-adopting in Ukraine IF INS gets us paperwork intime (cross fingers)

[bostonsmama]

>>just don't bring up Bush, Kerry or Moore! LOL!

ROFL

I know, recently someone just brought up her distaste for politics on this very "b*tchin'" post (couldn't agree more)...and she tried to make the thread non-partisan, but it set some others off...I guess people just can't help themselves...it's soooo entertaining! :+

I appreciate everyone trying to make me feel better. My hubby is on deployment right now...so there goes another couple months of not getting anything accomplished. Sometimes I just wish the stork would come and drop a baby off at your doorstep, complete with all the nursery crap and a detailed set of instructions (with a panic button on the back, of course, in case it gets too overwhelming...LOL!). :)

[McQ]

I agree that there are some self interest posters over in NN who take it a bit far. I posted about a bad experience I had with a manufactuer there (Colgate - because I knew they read there) and I was pretty much slammed by 2 retailers. What irks me is that it's technically okay for vendors to be here if they're answering questions but the slant some give it really bothers me. (I am NOT talking about the diaper bag ladies).

And other than a few hot button topics, we're generally pretty good here amongst each other.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[miki]

Ditto. I happened to have read that Colgate post (and thought a big Whatever). But I mostly frequent the Lounge and Feeding and I've always found everyone helpful and friendly. I only wish I knew so many great moms IRL!

[tippy]

Neve,

I couldn't agree more!

AJ's Beautiful, talented, easygoing, hardworking, loving mom! ;-)