kijip
09-14-2004, 07:08 AM
I met my brother at a park. I had Toby along (he was the reason we were meeting in a park in the first place!). Toby has now started walking around a bit out of my reach sometimes at the park but I keep a close watch on him of course. He was walking around in circles playing. My brother approaches him first instead of me, does the playful uncle thing (airplane, cute voice etc) and then I come and pick up Toby and we put him in a swing. Avery (my brother) then leaves for a minute to use the restroom. And then a fellow park parent with his baby on a swing, misunderstanding the exchange with my brother since we were out of his hearing when Avery approached Toby, says to me "I was so relieved that the wierdo stopped bothering you". I explained, I thought humorously, that the wierdo was in fact my brother and Toby was in fact his namesake. He then, knowing that Avery is my brother said, "I was about to stop him just before you stepped in- he certainly does not look like an Uncle". He thought some random person was picking up my child and I was watching without pouncing?? Again, WTF does an uncle look like???
Granted my brother is an unusual sight (even for Seattle!) but how does his appearance make him a threat, especially since I am RIGHT there (the man must know my face from the park- he knew I was Toby's mom)?? Avery is a skinny college aged kid with funky hair colors and a decided punk rock "look". He is also gay and tends to be recognized as such when people meet him. He has a slight case of cerebral palsy (affects his walk and arm movement on his right side but he is still able to live a normal life- his own apartment, a long term boyfriend, work, school etc without day to day care). His disability is slightly noticible but not often correctly identified as cerebral palsy- lots of people assume he is mentally impaired due to his physical limitations. Needless to say that when Avery came back we moved as far as possible away from the rude father. What kills me is that Avery and I are pretty much twins in facial features and since Toby looks exactly like me - Toby is clearly related to Avery.
I am VERY defensive of Avery because I raised him from the time he was 15 and I was in college. He was legally my foster child for several years and I gave up an out of state university to care for him through serious health and emotional issues. I dated and lived with my now husband through this time (we married 3 months after Avery turned 19 and started living on his own) so we were an odd little family unit- 2 college students barely out of high school ourselves attending Avery's PTA and school conferences! Now he is an social outreach worker, literally on the streets at night bringing street kids in from the cold, feeding them and providing education and resources. He is contemplating becoming a nurse or a counselor. He does his share of parties but is a straight edge kid who has never done drugs or the like- the type of things I think this man in the park thought. His appearance is something I tease him about (while we both like punk rock music, he has a very odd combination of preppy and gutter punk clothes and I wear plain clothing) but the man in the park can lay off. Beyond the clothes, Avery is a guy that kids love and that people really respect for his great community service. Attacking Avery for me is like attacking Toby- he may as well be my child. Which that man found out from my pointed expression!
Granted my brother is an unusual sight (even for Seattle!) but how does his appearance make him a threat, especially since I am RIGHT there (the man must know my face from the park- he knew I was Toby's mom)?? Avery is a skinny college aged kid with funky hair colors and a decided punk rock "look". He is also gay and tends to be recognized as such when people meet him. He has a slight case of cerebral palsy (affects his walk and arm movement on his right side but he is still able to live a normal life- his own apartment, a long term boyfriend, work, school etc without day to day care). His disability is slightly noticible but not often correctly identified as cerebral palsy- lots of people assume he is mentally impaired due to his physical limitations. Needless to say that when Avery came back we moved as far as possible away from the rude father. What kills me is that Avery and I are pretty much twins in facial features and since Toby looks exactly like me - Toby is clearly related to Avery.
I am VERY defensive of Avery because I raised him from the time he was 15 and I was in college. He was legally my foster child for several years and I gave up an out of state university to care for him through serious health and emotional issues. I dated and lived with my now husband through this time (we married 3 months after Avery turned 19 and started living on his own) so we were an odd little family unit- 2 college students barely out of high school ourselves attending Avery's PTA and school conferences! Now he is an social outreach worker, literally on the streets at night bringing street kids in from the cold, feeding them and providing education and resources. He is contemplating becoming a nurse or a counselor. He does his share of parties but is a straight edge kid who has never done drugs or the like- the type of things I think this man in the park thought. His appearance is something I tease him about (while we both like punk rock music, he has a very odd combination of preppy and gutter punk clothes and I wear plain clothing) but the man in the park can lay off. Beyond the clothes, Avery is a guy that kids love and that people really respect for his great community service. Attacking Avery for me is like attacking Toby- he may as well be my child. Which that man found out from my pointed expression!