Oh Why does my baby have to wake up crying every hour and a half?

[tarahsolazy]

Its 230 am, I'm awake, I'm upset, I'm frustrated! Why can't my 23lb 6 mo old sleep for more than an hour and a half? OK, so he did get his shots yesterday, and he may be teething, but this has been going on for 3 months, at least! I go through phases, sometimes, I'm philosophical about it, other times, I cry because it obviously means I'm a horrible mother. Other times, like tonight, it makes me very cranky and then I can't sleep. I have been clenching my jaw all day anyway, and now I can't unclench it, so I have a headache on top of being awake. DH is walking DS around as he sleeps, and wakes every few minutes with a little cry. I think he's hungry, but he won't suck for more than a few seconds, then cries because the milk isn't gushing out. This makes my let down even slower to come, I'm all tense and hoping he keeps sucking. The fact that DH is up with him makes me angry for some reason, like I should be able to do it all myself. I feel like we've totally screwed up DS's sleep by swaddling him since 3mo. He now cannot sleep for any length of time without his arms swaddled, this cannot be normal for his age. I really think I'm not hoping for much, here. I would be thrilled if he slept three hours, woke to eat, fell asleep without my or DH's standing up and walking him around, and then slept for 3 hours, woke to eat, etc. Even eating every two hours would be a vacation for me, if he fell asleep in between on his own. He's even in or bed, so its not l... oops crying baby, my turn

[mamaturk]

I totally know what you are going through..... My almost 10 month old DD still gets up a number of times every night!!! We do not let her cry though... we tried and all she does is stand up in the crib screaming until we come rescue her. DD is also a big girl 24lbs and I remember someone telling me that bigger babes sleep longer at night....Liars!!! It has to get better....soon!! ;)

[KrisM]

I keep getting the bigger babies sleep longer, too. It makes me want to scream! My 4.5 month old DS is 18 lbs and gets up 3-4 times at least. My friend's daughter was 5.5 lbs at birth and slept through by 6 weeks. How frustrating.

[Misha412]

Oh, Tarah, you poor thing! Most of us ( all of us really, except those evil mothers who lie and say that their baby slept through the night at 3 hours old and started doing advanced calculus at 7 months)have been right there with you. You are NOT a horrible mother! You sound like a tremendously caring, compassionate mom who just needs a full nights sleep! Remember, you are a mom, but you are also a human being with feelings and needs. It's normal to feel resentful and cranky when things are all upside down....

Are you still solely nursing? If so, maybe it's time to supplement with a little formula. Have you talked to your pede about your peanut's poor sleep patterns? Our first month with Gavin was horrible, as he only slept for an hour at a time; turns out he had reflux and couldn't sleep lying down. Have you tried putting your son to sleep upright; maybe in his carseat? You can also try the Fisher Price Activity Rocker, which supports a baby upright up to 40 lbs, rocks and vibrates.

Don't beat yourself up about the swaddling; it's the only way our little one would sleep either. They grow out of the need; it just takes a little time. Also, it is okay to let your son cry; it's the hardest thing in the world, and my pediatrician had to BEG me to do it, but it can work (unless the baby gets hysterical, then THAT whole idea goes right out the window!)

Good luck, hope this helps. I'll be thinking of you!

[MorganMom]

Poor thing! I don't have much advice, but I have to say that I have been there, done that and your baby sounds completely NORMAL. It's not weight/size that governs when your baby starts sleeping thru the night- I dunno what sadist made that myth up!

My DS nursed every 1.5 hrs around the clock- that meant I was up with him 4-5 times a night. He also co-slept with us and I was exclusively nursing so it wasn't like DH was much help with the sleep issue. In our case, it was just that DS is not a good sleeper...it takes him some time and encouragement to fall asleep and then he sleeps very lightly. Some babies are just like that and there's not much you can do to change it. And just for reference, my DS was 9lbs at birth and 24 lbs at 6 mos so he wasn't a small baby by any means.

Giving DS solids (we waited till 6 mos) didn't make an iota of difference in his sleeping pattern. Nor did putting him to sleep in the crib...he *still* woke up every 1.5 hrs- cept then I had to get up and go into his room to get him to nurse. LOL So we went back to co-sleeping. The good news is, DS started sleeping thru the night completely on his own at 11 mos. He would still occasionally wake up to nurse 1 or 2 times a night (usually due to teething) but sleept 5-6 hrs at a stretch most of the time. At 26 mos, DS goes to sleep at 9pm and wakes up at 7:30am pretty much every night. So there *is* hope!

Right now, tho, you sound very frustrated and I don't blame you. How committed are you to exclusively BFing? I ask because you may want to try giving one bottle of formula right before you go to sleep and see if that helps your little one sleep more than 1.5 hrs. Of course giving formula may make your little one more gassy and wake up anyways. I'm a confirmed BFing advocate, but if you're at the end of your rope with the sleep issue (and I've been there so I know how frustrating it is!), trying formula at least at night may help.

Also have you checked your little one for reflux? I'd def. take him to the doc & have a full workup done to make sure it's not something physical keeping him up.

(((hugs))) to you!

[tarahsolazy]

Thanks everyone for all the kind words.

After I abruptly ended my post, I worked for 15min to get DS to eat, by switching the nipple for his beloved binky, until my milk finally let down. Then, he ate well, and fell asleep for 3 hours, woke, ate again, and slept for two more! Must be teething.

All I can say is, thank God DH is so great (he is a SAHD, I work full-time out of the home), if I was the only one sleep deprived, I would be even crankier.

We need a bigger bed, the double isn't cutting it anymore. I think co-sleeping is helping, so for now, forget the crib.

[KrisM]

Yippee! I'm so glad you got some sleep.

[deliasmommy]

Hope you might see this response, even though it is a bit late...If you can, I would really think about having him checked for reflux. He has many of the 'symptoms' that my pediatrician and our GI specialist mentioned - breast milk has antacid qualities, so often babies (like my dd) will wake up screaming, nurse just enough to get a mouthful, and then pop off. Repeat every hour, or whenever they have an empty (acid-y) tummy.
Anyway, Zantac saved my breastfeed relationship, allowed me to sleep enough so we weren't zombies (co-sleeping also helped here, but I digress), and let my daughter sleep long enoungh to recharge - which still wasn't that long :), but it was closer to 'normal'.

Hope you get some rest!

[aliceinwonderland]

But my son WAS sleeping almost through the night, an dnow he is reverting back and awaking every 3 hrs to nurse. What the heck! I have to get up and go to school in the morning!! Like yours, my DH is also great and sometimes takes the babe downstairs so I can get 40 minutes of extra sleep in the morning. Hopefully it ends soon for both of us!!

[psophia17]

Hopefully your DS has kept up the good work since your last post - I know how horrible it is to be up all night with a crying baby that can't be soothed! Just remember that you're a good mother, at all times, because if you weren't you wouldn't be feeling the way you're feeling :-)

That said, I wanted to pipe up about swaddling. We were living in an old, cold farmhouse when DS was a little guy, so we wrapped him up as best we could for months. Then it got warmer, and we wanted to start using a Halo Sleepsack instead, figuring that he'd soon be too big to swaddle and he'd want to move around a little. It took forever for him to fall asleep without being swaddled. He would be fine when I held him, and then I'd lay him down and his arms and legs would flop out, and he'd be up screaming. Eventually, we just left him that way, lying there and screaming, because there was no other option unless we wanted to hold him all night long. The first night he cried for an hour, then fell asleep. Second night, 45 minutes. Third night, 1/2 an hour. 4th night, 15 minutes. After five nights, he went to sleep on his own pretty much as soon as I put him in his crib. It wasn't easy to do, but handling it for 5 nights wasn't too bad. And once we got through those 5 nights, we knew we wouldn't ever have to deal with it again.

With a little luck, your DS will get used to not being swaddled pretty quickly, especially if he's already having better nights than he was.

Good Luck,
Petra

DS - Nathan, 12/29/03

[MamaKath]

I am reading this and remembering tooooooooooo many similar nights. Hope it is getting better!!!

(((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

[tarahsolazy]

Well.... its about the same, but a little better, I guess. DS and I went out of town for four days, and he slept with just me. He did pretty well, still waking every 1-3hrs, but usually settling without my needing to get up OUT of bed, which is my real goal, LOL! Last night, our first night back home, a little rocky. But, we're all hangin' in there. Thanks for asking!

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[tarahsolazy]

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[MamaKath]

Glad to hear it was at least a few nights relief! I hope it keeps up well. I look at my now 5 year old sometimes, and miss the time when she was my only baby and nestled in the midst of mommy and daddy in the bed, finally peaceful. We used to call it "putting her into the Nest" because it was like calming a cranky chick. ;-)