Education is a GOOD thing!

[mamagoosie]

Petra's woes below struck a nerve. It really bugs me when people assume that just because you are well-educated, you are stuck up or "don't know what's real." Maybe it's the election, but I've had a couple of bad experiences with this recently.

I hate it when I feel like I have to hide my education to fit in--and I've been in a number of circumstances with people who feel it's perfectly OK to bash "Ivy League pinheads." Just this past weekend, I had someone tell me to my face, "What a waste of money" when I told them out where I went to school(they asked where DH and I met). First of all, that's just rude.

I don't judge people's intelligence, much less their values by where they went to school. I expect the same in return.

[psophia17]

ITA! I know that the ILs don't think I'm stuck up about being smart, but there are many people out there who do. In the meantime, my education is there and I'm not going to regret it.

Maybe I wish that I hadn't spent all the money I did, but that's because I hate paying off the student loans, not because I wish I hadn't bothered in the first place. So what if I'm a SAHM now? I wasn't before I had DS and after I'm done getting all my kids into school, you can put money on the fact that I will be working again. Otherwise how am I going to pay for their educations? ;-)

That said, I do know some "Ivy League pinheads" who think that their educations make them special. Some of the people that I went to college with were that way, because they'd been raised to think they were superior to the common folk. The distinction between the "haves" and the "have-nots" (as far as money went) was and is disgusting. That after graduation the students who thought they were special because they had money thought they were extra-special because they were educated at a fancy-schmancy university makes me sick. They didn't learn ANYTHING.

-Petra

DS - Nathan, 12/29/03

[mamagoosie]

It's a mad world I tell you. I really think it's about money and class, not so much about education. A pinhead is a pinhead--regardless of where they went to school.

At my fancy-pants school, I mainly hung out with kids who had gone to public high schools--and there were plenty of them--along with kids that were there on massive financial aid, etc. They were all amazing, intelligent people who are now using their considerable talents to make the world a better place--in the workplace or as SAHPs :)

What a lot of people DON'T know is that some schools are doing a lot to be more inclusive. For example, Princeton no longer gives out student loans--they've replaced loans with outright grants. Makes a BIG difference when you don't come out of college burdened with debt!

[Marisa6826]

Jonathan went to a "prestigious" top ten and he said he's never met so many idiots that thought they were special because they got into an Ivy.

I guess the majority of their parents were Alums, paid their dues and got their kids in.

We haven't given any money to his Alma Mater for Sophie or Amelia yet, and I'm wondering if we should start. On one hand it would be nice to kind of give them a boost, but on the other I don't want them to turn into the kind of kids Jonathan experienced first hand that rode their parents' coat tails.

Does it really make a difference if your parents give money?

-m

[deenass]

Well, parents would have to give A LOT of $ (like have a building named after them) to get their kid in if they didn't qualify on their own (maybe not quite a building, but more than an annual alumni dues fee!)

So, if he doesn't have a great affection for the school, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[miki]

I've had a number of people tell me to give money because if your kid is qualified to go to your alma mater, the fact that you have been giving gives them a little plus.

I've not had anyone be rude because of the schools I've attended. But I have had people act all shocked that I am home with DD when I have a JD from an Ivy. Shocked as in why would I be wasting my time mothering my child. Whatever.

[lizajane]

i went to a public school, so can't remark on the ivy comments. but goodness, if someone tells me that she/he went to an ivy, i am impressed and interested to hear about it! i am proud that i went to carolina out of state, but sometimes frustrated by the state school stereotypes-on the other end of the spectrum. i don't know what i am trying to say... i guess just that i have not personally encountered any "ivy league pinheads." and even though it isn't an ivy league school, i still feel pretty darn special telling people that BIL is getting an MBA for the U. of Chicago. i think smart is cool.

[dowlinal]

I couldn't have said it better. My BIL & SIL are horrible about me having an ivy league degree (plus a masters and a JD). I keep hearing about what a waste it all was since I plan to stay home starting next year. Hello, 1. I didn't "waste" your money, 2. DH & I always planned on this, 3. Someday I will go back and work but right now I think raising my kids is a little more important than getting my moneys worth out of my degrees.

BTW- I know that money could definately get you into my school but they also take a certain percentage of alumni children regardless of money given.

[kijip]

I agree! It is a shame when people bash someone's level of education.

I am in the situation of having passed up on an elite education to take care of family issues (I became my brother's guardian the year after I finished high school). I was set to fly east on scholarship when I decided that my brother had to come first. Instead I will be awarded my degree from a local Catholic University after having attended 2 public schools and taken time out of school to make $$ and attend to my brother's issues. I was supposed to go with a girl from my high school that came from a more affluent background. When she returned on holiday she told me that I was "wasting my life" by going to public school. As I understand it, she barely graduated due to partying and low grades (re-took french 3 times!) but since she has a degree with a big name on it she thinks that she is better than me with my public school, honors grades education. Clearly she is a NUT. I have a healthy brother, not to mention a great husband and toddler, due to my choice of staying in my home town. I also came to a different education path by falling in love with math- had I gone east, I would have majored in a social science. I will attend a good, albeit public, law school. She seems to be having trouble getting INTO any law school... Life turned out differently for me but I am happy with my choices. I fear that if I had not taken care of my brother I would have turned out as snobby as this girl. However I am the first person on my mother's side of the family to graduate from college (or high school for that matter!) so I do get a lot of "too smart" remarks grom certain people.

[AvasMama]

I know how you feel. I went to a small college that is consistently ranked as one of the top 3 in the county (and hated it BTW, though I did get an excellent education).

However, other than DH and one sister, the rest of my husband's family didn't go to college at all. Even though I like them, it's clear that they have never quite known what to make of me, and so we have never been all that close and I generally feel very left out. Fortunately, we don't live in the same part of the country so it's not a huge issue, but it has always bothered me to be "discriminated" against because I am well educated and successful professionally (another thing they don't quite get).

Robyn & Ava

[jesseandgrace]

It is definitely an interesting subject. I have a law degree and before dd I was working as a criminal prosecutor. I am 35, but I look young and dress young, so now that I am at home I guess I look and dress more like I'm in college. It is amazing how people treat me now, I am just basically ignored by the real estate agents when we were looking for a house(male real estate agents), and that type of thing happens all the time. DH will sometimes throw in "well, my wife is the attorney, so speak to her..". You can see the expression change on the person talking to me. I guess in that sense having a higher education helps get you respect, but on my end the change in attitude that someone has makes me lose respect for them. I think it is awful to ignore someone because you think they are a housewife! This job is so much harder than being a prosecutor!

[C99]

While I admit that I don't think having a degree from an ivy means anything more than a degree from a good public school, I totally agree that formal education is important. I come from a family that has always emphasized education in all of its different forms (including formal education). Both my parents have masters degrees and were the first in their families to go to college. But I also have come around to the idea that you don't have to have a degree at all to be an educated person. Some of the most well-spoken critical thinkers I know do not have college degrees. As someone said above, a pinhead is a pinhead, regardless of the type, level or even existence of formal education.

[tippy]

))) I think it is awful to ignore someone because you think they are a housewife! This job is so much harder than being a prosecutor!(((((

Well said. ITA! I had to laugh the other day when surprisingly enough another mom asked me "are you working or do you stay at home?" I answered that I was raising my child but that considered "staying home" harder work than what I used to do before becoming a mama. (No offense to anyone I just wanted to make a point and don't really believe that if you are a working mom that you are not "raising" your child!)