Aaarrrgh! Poo EVERYWHERE!

[Sillygirl]

I'm four weeks into motherhood with my darling baby boy. I've learned to watch closely during diaper changes and have become a pro at blocking the spray. I've gotten used to the explosive farts during breastfeeding and his father calling him "rocket butt". But now he has a touch of diaper rash and the books tell me to expose his butt to air, which with this child is like playing Russian roulette. Still, anything for my little angel, so I strip off his diaper and stand guard at the changing table. He is quiet for a minute, then has a little fart - impending trouble. Oh, but I'm a mommy pro by now, so I think I'm slick. I fold up the dirty diaper and tuck it, clean side up, under him to catch any little accident. How efficient! How thrifty!

Five seconds later, WHOOSH! A jet of poo comes out, I kid you not, THREE FEET! It spatters the changing table. It splashes the front of my pants. It bounces off my pants and hits the carpet, the beige carpet that, in a moment of prenatal insanity, I ordered and paid $600 for. Meanwhile, the fountain has gotten in on the game and Jonathan is merrily watering the diaper wipes box.

So there I am, with a drenched child on the table in front of me. If I take a step, more poo will fall off my pants onto the carpet, plus I might step in what's already there. The diaper wipes are covered in pee. That nuclear yellow stain is seeping into my carpet as I try to decide what to do. And darling son hasn't looked so serene in days as he lies there, quite content, contemplating this chaos. Meanwhile the phone is ringing - Daddy is coming home for lunch and hopes there will be soup and sandwiches.

Well, we're all clean now. Any suggestions for stain removal? I also need to know a good treatment for cracked ribs, which his father sustained by laughing so hard at this.

[bluej]

Welcome to the joys of motherhood! I don't know how well it will work on 'poo', but Woolite Oxy Deep worked rather well on my vomit stained carpets. I do feel for you, but I did have a good chuckle as well!

[Sillygirl]

Thanks. I got a chuckle, too, about halfway through writing the post. It made me feel better, so I just finished up and posted it.

[KBecks]

You've been christened, eh? I got it in the first week at home, a poo fart during a diaper change AND tinkles. I had poo on my walls and in my hair b/c I was leaning over him.

Resolve is good on stains too. For diaper rash, you can do naked tummy tine and use a hairdryer on low at a good distance to dry his bottom. I call this the spa treatment and it worked great for a mild rash, redness.

[Saartje]

Thanks for the laughs -- I was just having one of those "my-baby-is-making-me-nuts" moments (they're few and far between here, but the poor kid is teething), and your post has perked me right up.

I never got pooped on (and we don't have carpet, so I can't help you there), but I do remember getting up four hours earlier than DH one day when Ishie was very little. When DH finally got up, I told him I had dealt with six bodily fluids at least twice already and that he would have to take care of the baby the rest of the morning: I was going back to bed!

[psophia17]

You'll be glad you have this story when DS brings home his first girlfriend ;) Here's how I was "christened":

On day 7, DS was screaming and screaming, and we had no idea what was wrong with him, so off to the ped we went. Off came DS's clothes and diaper, neatly piled next to him, for the weigh-in. We moved him back to the table to wait for the ped to come and check him out, when he projectile pooed all over the place. On me, on himself, on his clothes, on the floor, on the table, everywhere.

The best part? We left his diaper bag at home, so DH had to drive home and get it while I hung on to him, wrapped in a size 3 diaper, the only size that the ped's office had on hand...

Supposedly, this kind of thing happens alot...

[Melanie]

HAHAHAHA!! I so know what you mean. We never did naked time, I was too afraid!

As for the diaper changes...we found a cloth prefold diaper worked great for coverage...and absorbed well enough to stop full-room chaos.


heehee...

[steph01]

I'm so sorry to hear about your incident. The best stain remover I have used on my carpets is Spot Shot in the orange and blue can. You might need a few cans. ;) Just don't buy Spot shot's area carpet cleaner in the yellow can, I don't think it works as well.

[KrisM]

Funny! Our poop every where incident happened during a middle of the night change with only the night light on in the room. Fortunately, it missed me, but did hit the changing table, the wall, his clothes hamper, etc. I cleaned it up and we both went back to bed. Boy, was I surprised in the morning at how much more poop there was - on the wall, the floor, the bottom levels of the changing table. And, great, now it was dried. Ugh.

Have fun!

[almostamom]

I agree with the PP that Spot Shot is excellent! We've even used it to remove paint from the carpet. Aside from that, thank you for the much needed giggle! :) I'm only 3 weeks into motherhood myself. My little guy seems to have a knack for spraying the quilt that I hung on the wall! I too thought I was a pretty slick mama - if I hang the quilt on the wall, I told DH, it won't get dirty! Thanks again for the laughs -- may your carpet come clean :)

~Linda~

[Puddy73]

Ah, the joys of motherhood! The baby books never mention anything like that, do they? DD hit me, the couch and the carpet with explosive poop and projectile vomiting once. The poor thing was screaming her head off and I just froze for a moment trying to figure out who or what to clean up first. I remember thinking "I want MY mom. Now!"

As for the carpet, Spot Shot is great! Also, pet stores sell an enzyme cleaner (can't remember its name) that is good for removing all traces of poop.

Jennifer
Mommy to Annabelle Mae 9/8/03

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

[Puddy73]

Sorry, edited to remove a double post. One of these days I must add a bitch about my computer.

[tippy]

Thanks for the laugh! Sorry you got the full Monty. Just wait until the first bought of projectile vomiting along with simultaneous diarrhea! Of course that happened to me while dh was away on a business trip! Thank God for sheet savers and feety pajamas!

I think the enzymatic pet cleaner the pp mentioned is called Natures Miracle. Worked great for getting out cat pee odor and stains so it will probably work well for kiddie poo. Just test an inconspicuous corner with any cleaner you use to make sure you don't get any discoloration. Good luck!


Teva
Mom to AJ born 1-8-03

[nov02mom]

This brings back some fond (yeah right) memories!!! Now you really know you're a mom..........The Nature's Miricle stuff is good for smelly odors though.
Kristen

[nov02mom]

This brings back some fond (yeah right) memories!!! Now you really know you're a mom..........The Nature's Miricle stuff is good for smelly odors though.
Kristen

[hez]

This story is too precious! Welcome to ALL the joys of mommyhood!

I got christened too-- the first night I wanted to go back to choir practice, and all I had left to do was to change DS's diaper and get in the car. I was changing him straight on (vs. standing to his side). My DH heard me screaming bloody murder a few minutes later and ran up thinking I'd dropped DS. Instead, he found me covered head to toe in poo. I think there's still a small stain on that shirt even after we washed it (I kid you not) 15 times.

[new_mommy25]

Ah yes, the explosive poo. I remember that stage. And yes, the yellow is a b**** to get out. The back seat of my car has a touch of yellow...

Just remember- this too shall pass, probably sooner than you want it to.
Angie and Noah http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif

http://www.picturetrail.com/angelita25

[starrynight]

rotflmao! Sorry that was just too funny! I hope the stain comes out.

[Sillygirl]

He got me AGAIN!

We are now the proud owners of an area rug.
Thanks to all for the suggestions - we'll go shopping for cleaners this weekend.

Katie

[nov04]

Just got up from rolling around on the floor laughing!!!!!!!!!! Too funny, too true.

I'm almost embarrassed to visit with ppl because if I feed her, she lets them rip!!! I haven't had the pleasure of a rash yet, but murphy's law says its coming.