Happy Birthday DS!

[usfrph]

I'm still debating wether to email my mom or not and I'm writing out everything here just to sound off first. Sorry for the long post.

DS turned 2 yesterday and in the middle of his party the phone rings. Caller ID says it's my mom so I answer it and turn on the speaker phone so DS can hear grandma greet him Happy Birthday. Well it turns out she didn't even remember it was his bday! She was calling to tell me to answer the phone when my cousin (who I don't really know and have only met once) calls since she's in town and needs a place to sleep. Of course every single guest hears this wonderful exchange and I just start bawling in the middle of the party once I hang up telling my mom I'm really busy right now.

Ugh! We eventually had to disconnect the phone since said cousin kept calling and calling and calling. I really didn't want to talk to her since I was busy and this weekend is really not a good time for us to receive 'guests'. DH is mad (about the no prior notice that they're coming) and really doesn't want them at all. I am half guilty, half mad and kept thinking the rest of the party if I should call back cousin or not.

I ended up not calling back/answering since I have to live with DH for the rest of my life :) Of course now I'll probably be known in the family as the evil, unhospitable one. Should I even try to explain myself to my mother?

[usfrph]

I'm still debating wether to email my mom or not and I'm writing out everything here just to sound off first. Sorry for the long post.

DS turned 2 yesterday and in the middle of his party the phone rings. Caller ID says it's my mom so I answer it and turn on the speaker phone so DS can hear grandma greet him Happy Birthday. Well it turns out she didn't even remember it was his bday! She was calling to tell me to answer the phone when my cousin (who I don't really know and have only met once) calls since she's in town and needs a place to sleep. Of course every single guest hears this wonderful exchange and I just start bawling in the middle of the party once I hang up telling my mom I'm really busy right now.

Ugh! We eventually had to disconnect the phone since said cousin kept calling and calling and calling. I really didn't want to talk to her since I was busy and this weekend is really not a good time for us to receive 'guests'. DH is mad (about the no prior notice that they're coming) and really doesn't want them at all. I am half guilty, half mad and kept thinking the rest of the party if I should call back cousin or not.

I ended up not calling back/answering since I have to live with DH for the rest of my life :) Of course now I'll probably be known in the family as the evil, unhospitable one. Should I even try to explain myself to my mother?

[usfrph]

I'm still debating wether to email my mom or not and I'm writing out everything here just to sound off first. Sorry for the long post.

DS turned 2 yesterday and in the middle of his party the phone rings. Caller ID says it's my mom so I answer it and turn on the speaker phone so DS can hear grandma greet him Happy Birthday. Well it turns out she didn't even remember it was his bday! She was calling to tell me to answer the phone when my cousin (who I don't really know and have only met once) calls since she's in town and needs a place to sleep. Of course every single guest hears this wonderful exchange and I just start bawling in the middle of the party once I hang up telling my mom I'm really busy right now.

Ugh! We eventually had to disconnect the phone since said cousin kept calling and calling and calling. I really didn't want to talk to her since I was busy and this weekend is really not a good time for us to receive 'guests'. DH is mad (about the no prior notice that they're coming) and really doesn't want them at all. I am half guilty, half mad and kept thinking the rest of the party if I should call back cousin or not.

I ended up not calling back/answering since I have to live with DH for the rest of my life :) Of course now I'll probably be known in the family as the evil, unhospitable one. Should I even try to explain myself to my mother?

[usfrph]

I'm still debating wether to email my mom or not and I'm writing out everything here just to sound off first. Sorry for the long post.

DS turned 2 yesterday and in the middle of his party the phone rings. Caller ID says it's my mom so I answer it and turn on the speaker phone so DS can hear grandma greet him Happy Birthday. Well it turns out she didn't even remember it was his bday! She was calling to tell me to answer the phone when my cousin (who I don't really know and have only met once) calls since she's in town and needs a place to sleep. Of course every single guest hears this wonderful exchange and I just start bawling in the middle of the party once I hang up telling my mom I'm really busy right now.

Ugh! We eventually had to disconnect the phone since said cousin kept calling and calling and calling. I really didn't want to talk to her since I was busy and this weekend is really not a good time for us to receive 'guests'. DH is mad (about the no prior notice that they're coming) and really doesn't want them at all. I am half guilty, half mad and kept thinking the rest of the party if I should call back cousin or not.

I ended up not calling back/answering since I have to live with DH for the rest of my life :) Of course now I'll probably be known in the family as the evil, unhospitable one. Should I even try to explain myself to my mother?

[usfrph]

I'm still debating wether to email my mom or not and I'm writing out everything here just to sound off first. Sorry for the long post.

DS turned 2 yesterday and in the middle of his party the phone rings. Caller ID says it's my mom so I answer it and turn on the speaker phone so DS can hear grandma greet him Happy Birthday. Well it turns out she didn't even remember it was his bday! She was calling to tell me to answer the phone when my cousin (who I don't really know and have only met once) calls since she's in town and needs a place to sleep. Of course every single guest hears this wonderful exchange and I just start bawling in the middle of the party once I hang up telling my mom I'm really busy right now.

Ugh! We eventually had to disconnect the phone since said cousin kept calling and calling and calling. I really didn't want to talk to her since I was busy and this weekend is really not a good time for us to receive 'guests'. DH is mad (about the no prior notice that they're coming) and really doesn't want them at all. I am half guilty, half mad and kept thinking the rest of the party if I should call back cousin or not.

I ended up not calling back/answering since I have to live with DH for the rest of my life :) Of course now I'll probably be known in the family as the evil, unhospitable one. Should I even try to explain myself to my mother?

[usfrph]

I'm still debating wether to email my mom or not and I'm writing out everything here just to sound off first. Sorry for the long post.

DS turned 2 yesterday and in the middle of his party the phone rings. Caller ID says it's my mom so I answer it and turn on the speaker phone so DS can hear grandma greet him Happy Birthday. Well it turns out she didn't even remember it was his bday! She was calling to tell me to answer the phone when my cousin (who I don't really know and have only met once) calls since she's in town and needs a place to sleep. Of course every single guest hears this wonderful exchange and I just start bawling in the middle of the party once I hang up telling my mom I'm really busy right now.

Ugh! We eventually had to disconnect the phone since said cousin kept calling and calling and calling. I really didn't want to talk to her since I was busy and this weekend is really not a good time for us to receive 'guests'. DH is mad (about the no prior notice that they're coming) and really doesn't want them at all. I am half guilty, half mad and kept thinking the rest of the party if I should call back cousin or not.

I ended up not calling back/answering since I have to live with DH for the rest of my life :) Of course now I'll probably be known in the family as the evil, unhospitable one. Should I even try to explain myself to my mother?

[usfrph]

I'm still debating wether to email my mom or not and I'm writing out everything here just to sound off first. Sorry for the long post.

DS turned 2 yesterday and in the middle of his party the phone rings. Caller ID says it's my mom so I answer it and turn on the speaker phone so DS can hear grandma greet him Happy Birthday. Well it turns out she didn't even remember it was his bday! She was calling to tell me to answer the phone when my cousin (who I don't really know and have only met once) calls since she's in town and needs a place to sleep. Of course every single guest hears this wonderful exchange and I just start bawling in the middle of the party once I hang up telling my mom I'm really busy right now.

Ugh! We eventually had to disconnect the phone since said cousin kept calling and calling and calling. I really didn't want to talk to her since I was busy and this weekend is really not a good time for us to receive 'guests'. DH is mad (about the no prior notice that they're coming) and really doesn't want them at all. I am half guilty, half mad and kept thinking the rest of the party if I should call back cousin or not.

I ended up not calling back/answering since I have to live with DH for the rest of my life :) Of course now I'll probably be known in the family as the evil, unhospitable one. Should I even try to explain myself to my mother?

[usfrph]

I'm still debating wether to email my mom or not and I'm writing out everything here just to sound off first. Sorry for the long post.

DS turned 2 yesterday and in the middle of his party the phone rings. Caller ID says it's my mom so I answer it and turn on the speaker phone so DS can hear grandma greet him Happy Birthday. Well it turns out she didn't even remember it was his bday! She was calling to tell me to answer the phone when my cousin (who I don't really know and have only met once) calls since she's in town and needs a place to sleep. Of course every single guest hears this wonderful exchange and I just start bawling in the middle of the party once I hang up telling my mom I'm really busy right now.

Ugh! We eventually had to disconnect the phone since said cousin kept calling and calling and calling. I really didn't want to talk to her since I was busy and this weekend is really not a good time for us to receive 'guests'. DH is mad (about the no prior notice that they're coming) and really doesn't want them at all. I am half guilty, half mad and kept thinking the rest of the party if I should call back cousin or not.

I ended up not calling back/answering since I have to live with DH for the rest of my life :) Of course now I'll probably be known in the family as the evil, unhospitable one. Should I even try to explain myself to my mother?

[usfrph]

I'm still debating wether to email my mom or not and I'm writing out everything here just to sound off first. Sorry for the long post.

DS turned 2 yesterday and in the middle of his party the phone rings. Caller ID says it's my mom so I answer it and turn on the speaker phone so DS can hear grandma greet him Happy Birthday. Well it turns out she didn't even remember it was his bday! She was calling to tell me to answer the phone when my cousin (who I don't really know and have only met once) calls since she's in town and needs a place to sleep. Of course every single guest hears this wonderful exchange and I just start bawling in the middle of the party once I hang up telling my mom I'm really busy right now.

Ugh! We eventually had to disconnect the phone since said cousin kept calling and calling and calling. I really didn't want to talk to her since I was busy and this weekend is really not a good time for us to receive 'guests'. DH is mad (about the no prior notice that they're coming) and really doesn't want them at all. I am half guilty, half mad and kept thinking the rest of the party if I should call back cousin or not.

I ended up not calling back/answering since I have to live with DH for the rest of my life :) Of course now I'll probably be known in the family as the evil, unhospitable one. Should I even try to explain myself to my mother?

[KBecks]

Yes, but... not answering the phone for your cousin was rude. It's not rude not to let her stay, but it's rude to avoid telling him/her what the deal is,and leaving him/her hanging. He/she needed to know ASAP that you weren't going to host so they could figure out something else.

Also, it was your move to put mom on speaker.... it would have served you better to say hi to her first and then let her know you're going to put her on speaker to say hi to DS for his party.

So, call your mom and tell her what happened. You will need to apologize for blowing off cousin -- because that was IMO not a good way of dealing with it. But you should also tell her that it was DS birthday and party and that you are disappointed she didn't remember. HOWEVER, you could have easily reminded her when she called and you realized she didn't know. You SHOULD tell mom and cousin (call her back) that you are not hosting, and you need more notice to see if a visit will work for your schedule. Don't feel guilty about not hosting cousin, but I think you should apologize for not taking care of the issue. Avoiding the problem does not make it go away.

I'm sorry but I think this is more on you for the way you handled it. I think you should use the speakerphone more carefully (let the person know that you're putting them on speaker), and you should also communicate about your needs -- because otherwise the other people are left in the dark and have no idea what the problem is. Lastly, I think it's polite to gently tell someone when they've made a social mistake, such as forgetting a birthday, so they have an opportunity to fix it right away.

I'm sorry the phone calls were such a distraction to the birthday. I hope your son had a good time regardless.

ETA: Call your mom to talk to her about it..... if you're doing email, you're "hiding". It's more fair of you to call and have a dialogue to deal with the problem. She needs to listen to you, and you need to listen to her. Email is kind of wimpy for conflict resolution - it doesn't really work, IMO.

[KBecks]

Yes, but... not answering the phone for your cousin was rude. It's not rude not to let her stay, but it's rude to avoid telling him/her what the deal is,and leaving him/her hanging. He/she needed to know ASAP that you weren't going to host so they could figure out something else.

Also, it was your move to put mom on speaker.... it would have served you better to say hi to her first and then let her know you're going to put her on speaker to say hi to DS for his party.

So, call your mom and tell her what happened. You will need to apologize for blowing off cousin -- because that was IMO not a good way of dealing with it. But you should also tell her that it was DS birthday and party and that you are disappointed she didn't remember. HOWEVER, you could have easily reminded her when she called and you realized she didn't know. You SHOULD tell mom and cousin (call her back) that you are not hosting, and you need more notice to see if a visit will work for your schedule. Don't feel guilty about not hosting cousin, but I think you should apologize for not taking care of the issue. Avoiding the problem does not make it go away.

I'm sorry but I think this is more on you for the way you handled it. I think you should use the speakerphone more carefully (let the person know that you're putting them on speaker), and you should also communicate about your needs -- because otherwise the other people are left in the dark and have no idea what the problem is. Lastly, I think it's polite to gently tell someone when they've made a social mistake, such as forgetting a birthday, so they have an opportunity to fix it right away.

I'm sorry the phone calls were such a distraction to the birthday. I hope your son had a good time regardless.

ETA: Call your mom to talk to her about it..... if you're doing email, you're "hiding". It's more fair of you to call and have a dialogue to deal with the problem. She needs to listen to you, and you need to listen to her. Email is kind of wimpy for conflict resolution - it doesn't really work, IMO.

[KBecks]

Yes, but... not answering the phone for your cousin was rude. It's not rude not to let her stay, but it's rude to avoid telling him/her what the deal is,and leaving him/her hanging. He/she needed to know ASAP that you weren't going to host so they could figure out something else.

Also, it was your move to put mom on speaker.... it would have served you better to say hi to her first and then let her know you're going to put her on speaker to say hi to DS for his party.

So, call your mom and tell her what happened. You will need to apologize for blowing off cousin -- because that was IMO not a good way of dealing with it. But you should also tell her that it was DS birthday and party and that you are disappointed she didn't remember. HOWEVER, you could have easily reminded her when she called and you realized she didn't know. You SHOULD tell mom and cousin (call her back) that you are not hosting, and you need more notice to see if a visit will work for your schedule. Don't feel guilty about not hosting cousin, but I think you should apologize for not taking care of the issue. Avoiding the problem does not make it go away.

I'm sorry but I think this is more on you for the way you handled it. I think you should use the speakerphone more carefully (let the person know that you're putting them on speaker), and you should also communicate about your needs -- because otherwise the other people are left in the dark and have no idea what the problem is. Lastly, I think it's polite to gently tell someone when they've made a social mistake, such as forgetting a birthday, so they have an opportunity to fix it right away.

I'm sorry the phone calls were such a distraction to the birthday. I hope your son had a good time regardless.

ETA: Call your mom to talk to her about it..... if you're doing email, you're "hiding". It's more fair of you to call and have a dialogue to deal with the problem. She needs to listen to you, and you need to listen to her. Email is kind of wimpy for conflict resolution - it doesn't really work, IMO.

[KBecks]

Yes, but... not answering the phone for your cousin was rude. It's not rude not to let her stay, but it's rude to avoid telling him/her what the deal is,and leaving him/her hanging. He/she needed to know ASAP that you weren't going to host so they could figure out something else.

Also, it was your move to put mom on speaker.... it would have served you better to say hi to her first and then let her know you're going to put her on speaker to say hi to DS for his party.

So, call your mom and tell her what happened. You will need to apologize for blowing off cousin -- because that was IMO not a good way of dealing with it. But you should also tell her that it was DS birthday and party and that you are disappointed she didn't remember. HOWEVER, you could have easily reminded her when she called and you realized she didn't know. You SHOULD tell mom and cousin (call her back) that you are not hosting, and you need more notice to see if a visit will work for your schedule. Don't feel guilty about not hosting cousin, but I think you should apologize for not taking care of the issue. Avoiding the problem does not make it go away.

I'm sorry but I think this is more on you for the way you handled it. I think you should use the speakerphone more carefully (let the person know that you're putting them on speaker), and you should also communicate about your needs -- because otherwise the other people are left in the dark and have no idea what the problem is. Lastly, I think it's polite to gently tell someone when they've made a social mistake, such as forgetting a birthday, so they have an opportunity to fix it right away.

I'm sorry the phone calls were such a distraction to the birthday. I hope your son had a good time regardless.

ETA: Call your mom to talk to her about it..... if you're doing email, you're "hiding". It's more fair of you to call and have a dialogue to deal with the problem. She needs to listen to you, and you need to listen to her. Email is kind of wimpy for conflict resolution - it doesn't really work, IMO.

[KBecks]

Yes, but... not answering the phone for your cousin was rude. It's not rude not to let her stay, but it's rude to avoid telling him/her what the deal is,and leaving him/her hanging. He/she needed to know ASAP that you weren't going to host so they could figure out something else.

Also, it was your move to put mom on speaker.... it would have served you better to say hi to her first and then let her know you're going to put her on speaker to say hi to DS for his party.

So, call your mom and tell her what happened. You will need to apologize for blowing off cousin -- because that was IMO not a good way of dealing with it. But you should also tell her that it was DS birthday and party and that you are disappointed she didn't remember. HOWEVER, you could have easily reminded her when she called and you realized she didn't know. You SHOULD tell mom and cousin (call her back) that you are not hosting, and you need more notice to see if a visit will work for your schedule. Don't feel guilty about not hosting cousin, but I think you should apologize for not taking care of the issue. Avoiding the problem does not make it go away.

I'm sorry but I think this is more on you for the way you handled it. I think you should use the speakerphone more carefully (let the person know that you're putting them on speaker), and you should also communicate about your needs -- because otherwise the other people are left in the dark and have no idea what the problem is. Lastly, I think it's polite to gently tell someone when they've made a social mistake, such as forgetting a birthday, so they have an opportunity to fix it right away.

I'm sorry the phone calls were such a distraction to the birthday. I hope your son had a good time regardless.

ETA: Call your mom to talk to her about it..... if you're doing email, you're "hiding". It's more fair of you to call and have a dialogue to deal with the problem. She needs to listen to you, and you need to listen to her. Email is kind of wimpy for conflict resolution - it doesn't really work, IMO.

[KBecks]

Yes, but... not answering the phone for your cousin was rude. It's not rude not to let her stay, but it's rude to avoid telling him/her what the deal is,and leaving him/her hanging. He/she needed to know ASAP that you weren't going to host so they could figure out something else.

Also, it was your move to put mom on speaker.... it would have served you better to say hi to her first and then let her know you're going to put her on speaker to say hi to DS for his party.

So, call your mom and tell her what happened. You will need to apologize for blowing off cousin -- because that was IMO not a good way of dealing with it. But you should also tell her that it was DS birthday and party and that you are disappointed she didn't remember. HOWEVER, you could have easily reminded her when she called and you realized she didn't know. You SHOULD tell mom and cousin (call her back) that you are not hosting, and you need more notice to see if a visit will work for your schedule. Don't feel guilty about not hosting cousin, but I think you should apologize for not taking care of the issue. Avoiding the problem does not make it go away.

I'm sorry but I think this is more on you for the way you handled it. I think you should use the speakerphone more carefully (let the person know that you're putting them on speaker), and you should also communicate about your needs -- because otherwise the other people are left in the dark and have no idea what the problem is. Lastly, I think it's polite to gently tell someone when they've made a social mistake, such as forgetting a birthday, so they have an opportunity to fix it right away.

I'm sorry the phone calls were such a distraction to the birthday. I hope your son had a good time regardless.

ETA: Call your mom to talk to her about it..... if you're doing email, you're "hiding". It's more fair of you to call and have a dialogue to deal with the problem. She needs to listen to you, and you need to listen to her. Email is kind of wimpy for conflict resolution - it doesn't really work, IMO.

[KBecks]

Yes, but... not answering the phone for your cousin was rude. It's not rude not to let her stay, but it's rude to avoid telling him/her what the deal is,and leaving him/her hanging. He/she needed to know ASAP that you weren't going to host so they could figure out something else.

Also, it was your move to put mom on speaker.... it would have served you better to say hi to her first and then let her know you're going to put her on speaker to say hi to DS for his party.

So, call your mom and tell her what happened. You will need to apologize for blowing off cousin -- because that was IMO not a good way of dealing with it. But you should also tell her that it was DS birthday and party and that you are disappointed she didn't remember. HOWEVER, you could have easily reminded her when she called and you realized she didn't know. You SHOULD tell mom and cousin (call her back) that you are not hosting, and you need more notice to see if a visit will work for your schedule. Don't feel guilty about not hosting cousin, but I think you should apologize for not taking care of the issue. Avoiding the problem does not make it go away.

I'm sorry but I think this is more on you for the way you handled it. I think you should use the speakerphone more carefully (let the person know that you're putting them on speaker), and you should also communicate about your needs -- because otherwise the other people are left in the dark and have no idea what the problem is. Lastly, I think it's polite to gently tell someone when they've made a social mistake, such as forgetting a birthday, so they have an opportunity to fix it right away.

I'm sorry the phone calls were such a distraction to the birthday. I hope your son had a good time regardless.

ETA: Call your mom to talk to her about it..... if you're doing email, you're "hiding". It's more fair of you to call and have a dialogue to deal with the problem. She needs to listen to you, and you need to listen to her. Email is kind of wimpy for conflict resolution - it doesn't really work, IMO.

[KBecks]

Yes, but... not answering the phone for your cousin was rude. It's not rude not to let her stay, but it's rude to avoid telling him/her what the deal is,and leaving him/her hanging. He/she needed to know ASAP that you weren't going to host so they could figure out something else.

Also, it was your move to put mom on speaker.... it would have served you better to say hi to her first and then let her know you're going to put her on speaker to say hi to DS for his party.

So, call your mom and tell her what happened. You will need to apologize for blowing off cousin -- because that was IMO not a good way of dealing with it. But you should also tell her that it was DS birthday and party and that you are disappointed she didn't remember. HOWEVER, you could have easily reminded her when she called and you realized she didn't know. You SHOULD tell mom and cousin (call her back) that you are not hosting, and you need more notice to see if a visit will work for your schedule. Don't feel guilty about not hosting cousin, but I think you should apologize for not taking care of the issue. Avoiding the problem does not make it go away.

I'm sorry but I think this is more on you for the way you handled it. I think you should use the speakerphone more carefully (let the person know that you're putting them on speaker), and you should also communicate about your needs -- because otherwise the other people are left in the dark and have no idea what the problem is. Lastly, I think it's polite to gently tell someone when they've made a social mistake, such as forgetting a birthday, so they have an opportunity to fix it right away.

I'm sorry the phone calls were such a distraction to the birthday. I hope your son had a good time regardless.

ETA: Call your mom to talk to her about it..... if you're doing email, you're "hiding". It's more fair of you to call and have a dialogue to deal with the problem. She needs to listen to you, and you need to listen to her. Email is kind of wimpy for conflict resolution - it doesn't really work, IMO.

[KBecks]

Yes, but... not answering the phone for your cousin was rude. It's not rude not to let her stay, but it's rude to avoid telling him/her what the deal is,and leaving him/her hanging. He/she needed to know ASAP that you weren't going to host so they could figure out something else.

Also, it was your move to put mom on speaker.... it would have served you better to say hi to her first and then let her know you're going to put her on speaker to say hi to DS for his party.

So, call your mom and tell her what happened. You will need to apologize for blowing off cousin -- because that was IMO not a good way of dealing with it. But you should also tell her that it was DS birthday and party and that you are disappointed she didn't remember. HOWEVER, you could have easily reminded her when she called and you realized she didn't know. You SHOULD tell mom and cousin (call her back) that you are not hosting, and you need more notice to see if a visit will work for your schedule. Don't feel guilty about not hosting cousin, but I think you should apologize for not taking care of the issue. Avoiding the problem does not make it go away.

I'm sorry but I think this is more on you for the way you handled it. I think you should use the speakerphone more carefully (let the person know that you're putting them on speaker), and you should also communicate about your needs -- because otherwise the other people are left in the dark and have no idea what the problem is. Lastly, I think it's polite to gently tell someone when they've made a social mistake, such as forgetting a birthday, so they have an opportunity to fix it right away.

I'm sorry the phone calls were such a distraction to the birthday. I hope your son had a good time regardless.

ETA: Call your mom to talk to her about it..... if you're doing email, you're "hiding". It's more fair of you to call and have a dialogue to deal with the problem. She needs to listen to you, and you need to listen to her. Email is kind of wimpy for conflict resolution - it doesn't really work, IMO.

[kristenk]

I would be really hurt and a little bit angry if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs)))

I'm going to disagree with PP in that I don't know if I'd categorize forgetting your grandson's birthday as a social mistake. Using the wrong fork at a fancy dinner is a social mistake. Forgetting your grandson's birthday is more than that.

I would be angry and so hurt if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs))) Yes, it's embarrassing that the whole thing happened on speaker, but that part's not your mom's fault, you know?

I think it would have been best to call you cousin back and let her know that she couldn't stay with you. She had no idea what was going on and that it was a busy weekend for you (being your DS's BIRTHDAY and all!). I think it was totally unreasonable for your mom (and your cousin) to expect you to house your cousin without any notice whatsoever - especially one you don't really know.

From here, I'd call your mom and tell her that she missed her grandson's birthday and that it really upset you. I'd also 'fess up about avoiding your cousin and get that over with. (((hugs)))

Edited b/c I didn't mean to sound harsh AT ALL! I'm so sorry if I did, because I would have done the exact same thing (and I'd be dealing with the same issue of how to deal with everything).

[kristenk]

I would be really hurt and a little bit angry if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs)))

I'm going to disagree with PP in that I don't know if I'd categorize forgetting your grandson's birthday as a social mistake. Using the wrong fork at a fancy dinner is a social mistake. Forgetting your grandson's birthday is more than that.

I would be angry and so hurt if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs))) Yes, it's embarrassing that the whole thing happened on speaker, but that part's not your mom's fault, you know?

I think it would have been best to call you cousin back and let her know that she couldn't stay with you. She had no idea what was going on and that it was a busy weekend for you (being your DS's BIRTHDAY and all!). I think it was totally unreasonable for your mom (and your cousin) to expect you to house your cousin without any notice whatsoever - especially one you don't really know.

From here, I'd call your mom and tell her that she missed her grandson's birthday and that it really upset you. I'd also 'fess up about avoiding your cousin and get that over with. (((hugs)))

Edited b/c I didn't mean to sound harsh AT ALL! I'm so sorry if I did, because I would have done the exact same thing (and I'd be dealing with the same issue of how to deal with everything).

[kristenk]

I would be really hurt and a little bit angry if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs)))

I'm going to disagree with PP in that I don't know if I'd categorize forgetting your grandson's birthday as a social mistake. Using the wrong fork at a fancy dinner is a social mistake. Forgetting your grandson's birthday is more than that.

I would be angry and so hurt if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs))) Yes, it's embarrassing that the whole thing happened on speaker, but that part's not your mom's fault, you know?

I think it would have been best to call you cousin back and let her know that she couldn't stay with you. She had no idea what was going on and that it was a busy weekend for you (being your DS's BIRTHDAY and all!). I think it was totally unreasonable for your mom (and your cousin) to expect you to house your cousin without any notice whatsoever - especially one you don't really know.

From here, I'd call your mom and tell her that she missed her grandson's birthday and that it really upset you. I'd also 'fess up about avoiding your cousin and get that over with. (((hugs)))

Edited b/c I didn't mean to sound harsh AT ALL! I'm so sorry if I did, because I would have done the exact same thing (and I'd be dealing with the same issue of how to deal with everything).

[kristenk]

I would be really hurt and a little bit angry if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs)))

I'm going to disagree with PP in that I don't know if I'd categorize forgetting your grandson's birthday as a social mistake. Using the wrong fork at a fancy dinner is a social mistake. Forgetting your grandson's birthday is more than that.

I would be angry and so hurt if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs))) Yes, it's embarrassing that the whole thing happened on speaker, but that part's not your mom's fault, you know?

I think it would have been best to call you cousin back and let her know that she couldn't stay with you. She had no idea what was going on and that it was a busy weekend for you (being your DS's BIRTHDAY and all!). I think it was totally unreasonable for your mom (and your cousin) to expect you to house your cousin without any notice whatsoever - especially one you don't really know.

From here, I'd call your mom and tell her that she missed her grandson's birthday and that it really upset you. I'd also 'fess up about avoiding your cousin and get that over with. (((hugs)))

Edited b/c I didn't mean to sound harsh AT ALL! I'm so sorry if I did, because I would have done the exact same thing (and I'd be dealing with the same issue of how to deal with everything).

[kristenk]

I would be really hurt and a little bit angry if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs)))

I'm going to disagree with PP in that I don't know if I'd categorize forgetting your grandson's birthday as a social mistake. Using the wrong fork at a fancy dinner is a social mistake. Forgetting your grandson's birthday is more than that.

I would be angry and so hurt if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs))) Yes, it's embarrassing that the whole thing happened on speaker, but that part's not your mom's fault, you know?

I think it would have been best to call you cousin back and let her know that she couldn't stay with you. She had no idea what was going on and that it was a busy weekend for you (being your DS's BIRTHDAY and all!). I think it was totally unreasonable for your mom (and your cousin) to expect you to house your cousin without any notice whatsoever - especially one you don't really know.

From here, I'd call your mom and tell her that she missed her grandson's birthday and that it really upset you. I'd also 'fess up about avoiding your cousin and get that over with. (((hugs)))

Edited b/c I didn't mean to sound harsh AT ALL! I'm so sorry if I did, because I would have done the exact same thing (and I'd be dealing with the same issue of how to deal with everything).

[kristenk]

I would be really hurt and a little bit angry if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs)))

I'm going to disagree with PP in that I don't know if I'd categorize forgetting your grandson's birthday as a social mistake. Using the wrong fork at a fancy dinner is a social mistake. Forgetting your grandson's birthday is more than that.

I would be angry and so hurt if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs))) Yes, it's embarrassing that the whole thing happened on speaker, but that part's not your mom's fault, you know?

I think it would have been best to call you cousin back and let her know that she couldn't stay with you. She had no idea what was going on and that it was a busy weekend for you (being your DS's BIRTHDAY and all!). I think it was totally unreasonable for your mom (and your cousin) to expect you to house your cousin without any notice whatsoever - especially one you don't really know.

From here, I'd call your mom and tell her that she missed her grandson's birthday and that it really upset you. I'd also 'fess up about avoiding your cousin and get that over with. (((hugs)))

Edited b/c I didn't mean to sound harsh AT ALL! I'm so sorry if I did, because I would have done the exact same thing (and I'd be dealing with the same issue of how to deal with everything).

[kristenk]

I would be really hurt and a little bit angry if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs)))

I'm going to disagree with PP in that I don't know if I'd categorize forgetting your grandson's birthday as a social mistake. Using the wrong fork at a fancy dinner is a social mistake. Forgetting your grandson's birthday is more than that.

I would be angry and so hurt if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs))) Yes, it's embarrassing that the whole thing happened on speaker, but that part's not your mom's fault, you know?

I think it would have been best to call you cousin back and let her know that she couldn't stay with you. She had no idea what was going on and that it was a busy weekend for you (being your DS's BIRTHDAY and all!). I think it was totally unreasonable for your mom (and your cousin) to expect you to house your cousin without any notice whatsoever - especially one you don't really know.

From here, I'd call your mom and tell her that she missed her grandson's birthday and that it really upset you. I'd also 'fess up about avoiding your cousin and get that over with. (((hugs)))

Edited b/c I didn't mean to sound harsh AT ALL! I'm so sorry if I did, because I would have done the exact same thing (and I'd be dealing with the same issue of how to deal with everything).

[kristenk]

I would be really hurt and a little bit angry if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs)))

I'm going to disagree with PP in that I don't know if I'd categorize forgetting your grandson's birthday as a social mistake. Using the wrong fork at a fancy dinner is a social mistake. Forgetting your grandson's birthday is more than that.

I would be angry and so hurt if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs))) Yes, it's embarrassing that the whole thing happened on speaker, but that part's not your mom's fault, you know?

I think it would have been best to call you cousin back and let her know that she couldn't stay with you. She had no idea what was going on and that it was a busy weekend for you (being your DS's BIRTHDAY and all!). I think it was totally unreasonable for your mom (and your cousin) to expect you to house your cousin without any notice whatsoever - especially one you don't really know.

From here, I'd call your mom and tell her that she missed her grandson's birthday and that it really upset you. I'd also 'fess up about avoiding your cousin and get that over with. (((hugs)))

Edited b/c I didn't mean to sound harsh AT ALL! I'm so sorry if I did, because I would have done the exact same thing (and I'd be dealing with the same issue of how to deal with everything).

[kristenk]

I would be really hurt and a little bit angry if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs)))

I'm going to disagree with PP in that I don't know if I'd categorize forgetting your grandson's birthday as a social mistake. Using the wrong fork at a fancy dinner is a social mistake. Forgetting your grandson's birthday is more than that.

I would be angry and so hurt if my mom forgot DD's birthday. (((hugs))) Yes, it's embarrassing that the whole thing happened on speaker, but that part's not your mom's fault, you know?

I think it would have been best to call you cousin back and let her know that she couldn't stay with you. She had no idea what was going on and that it was a busy weekend for you (being your DS's BIRTHDAY and all!). I think it was totally unreasonable for your mom (and your cousin) to expect you to house your cousin without any notice whatsoever - especially one you don't really know.

From here, I'd call your mom and tell her that she missed her grandson's birthday and that it really upset you. I'd also 'fess up about avoiding your cousin and get that over with. (((hugs)))

Edited b/c I didn't mean to sound harsh AT ALL! I'm so sorry if I did, because I would have done the exact same thing (and I'd be dealing with the same issue of how to deal with everything).

[buddyleebaby]

I just wanted to wish your ds a very happy belated birthday.
Hopefully he did not even notice the issus between you and your mom.

[buddyleebaby]

I just wanted to wish your ds a very happy belated birthday.
Hopefully he did not even notice the issus between you and your mom.

[buddyleebaby]

I just wanted to wish your ds a very happy belated birthday.
Hopefully he did not even notice the issus between you and your mom.

[buddyleebaby]

I just wanted to wish your ds a very happy belated birthday.
Hopefully he did not even notice the issus between you and your mom.

[buddyleebaby]

I just wanted to wish your ds a very happy belated birthday.
Hopefully he did not even notice the issus between you and your mom.

[buddyleebaby]

I just wanted to wish your ds a very happy belated birthday.
Hopefully he did not even notice the issus between you and your mom.

[buddyleebaby]

I just wanted to wish your ds a very happy belated birthday.
Hopefully he did not even notice the issus between you and your mom.

[buddyleebaby]

I just wanted to wish your ds a very happy belated birthday.
Hopefully he did not even notice the issus between you and your mom.

[buddyleebaby]

I just wanted to wish your ds a very happy belated birthday.
Hopefully he did not even notice the issus between you and your mom.

[sidmand]

I'm sorry your Mom forgot about DS's b-day. That sucks.

Happy birthday to the little guy!

I do think some of the responses you've gotten have been a bit harsh though. Although kind of like listening to Simon Cowell on American Idol, I may agree with what was said, but maybe would've said it a little more kindly.

Afterall, this IS the bitching forum and you are totally allowed to be upset. Heck, people have posted in here for minor things that upset them (as have I!).

But I hope you work everything out with your Mom and your cousin and your DS had a great day.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I'm sorry your Mom forgot about DS's b-day. That sucks.

Happy birthday to the little guy!

I do think some of the responses you've gotten have been a bit harsh though. Although kind of like listening to Simon Cowell on American Idol, I may agree with what was said, but maybe would've said it a little more kindly.

Afterall, this IS the bitching forum and you are totally allowed to be upset. Heck, people have posted in here for minor things that upset them (as have I!).

But I hope you work everything out with your Mom and your cousin and your DS had a great day.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I'm sorry your Mom forgot about DS's b-day. That sucks.

Happy birthday to the little guy!

I do think some of the responses you've gotten have been a bit harsh though. Although kind of like listening to Simon Cowell on American Idol, I may agree with what was said, but maybe would've said it a little more kindly.

Afterall, this IS the bitching forum and you are totally allowed to be upset. Heck, people have posted in here for minor things that upset them (as have I!).

But I hope you work everything out with your Mom and your cousin and your DS had a great day.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I'm sorry your Mom forgot about DS's b-day. That sucks.

Happy birthday to the little guy!

I do think some of the responses you've gotten have been a bit harsh though. Although kind of like listening to Simon Cowell on American Idol, I may agree with what was said, but maybe would've said it a little more kindly.

Afterall, this IS the bitching forum and you are totally allowed to be upset. Heck, people have posted in here for minor things that upset them (as have I!).

But I hope you work everything out with your Mom and your cousin and your DS had a great day.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I'm sorry your Mom forgot about DS's b-day. That sucks.

Happy birthday to the little guy!

I do think some of the responses you've gotten have been a bit harsh though. Although kind of like listening to Simon Cowell on American Idol, I may agree with what was said, but maybe would've said it a little more kindly.

Afterall, this IS the bitching forum and you are totally allowed to be upset. Heck, people have posted in here for minor things that upset them (as have I!).

But I hope you work everything out with your Mom and your cousin and your DS had a great day.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I'm sorry your Mom forgot about DS's b-day. That sucks.

Happy birthday to the little guy!

I do think some of the responses you've gotten have been a bit harsh though. Although kind of like listening to Simon Cowell on American Idol, I may agree with what was said, but maybe would've said it a little more kindly.

Afterall, this IS the bitching forum and you are totally allowed to be upset. Heck, people have posted in here for minor things that upset them (as have I!).

But I hope you work everything out with your Mom and your cousin and your DS had a great day.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I'm sorry your Mom forgot about DS's b-day. That sucks.

Happy birthday to the little guy!

I do think some of the responses you've gotten have been a bit harsh though. Although kind of like listening to Simon Cowell on American Idol, I may agree with what was said, but maybe would've said it a little more kindly.

Afterall, this IS the bitching forum and you are totally allowed to be upset. Heck, people have posted in here for minor things that upset them (as have I!).

But I hope you work everything out with your Mom and your cousin and your DS had a great day.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I'm sorry your Mom forgot about DS's b-day. That sucks.

Happy birthday to the little guy!

I do think some of the responses you've gotten have been a bit harsh though. Although kind of like listening to Simon Cowell on American Idol, I may agree with what was said, but maybe would've said it a little more kindly.

Afterall, this IS the bitching forum and you are totally allowed to be upset. Heck, people have posted in here for minor things that upset them (as have I!).

But I hope you work everything out with your Mom and your cousin and your DS had a great day.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I'm sorry your Mom forgot about DS's b-day. That sucks.

Happy birthday to the little guy!

I do think some of the responses you've gotten have been a bit harsh though. Although kind of like listening to Simon Cowell on American Idol, I may agree with what was said, but maybe would've said it a little more kindly.

Afterall, this IS the bitching forum and you are totally allowed to be upset. Heck, people have posted in here for minor things that upset them (as have I!).

But I hope you work everything out with your Mom and your cousin and your DS had a great day.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[kozachka]

You have every right to be upset and to bitch about it here. I think that when it your mom, who forgets your DC bday it is more upsetting than if it were someone else. You should try to calm down as much as possible and communicate your feelings to your mom. I know that I would absolutely not be able to stay calm so putting things on paper or in e-mail form would be more productive in my case. You know yourself and your mom better than anybody here so how to communicate with her should be your call.

Hope that after putting it all out there you already feel a little better, I know I do after venting. Big (((hugs))).

[kozachka]

You have every right to be upset and to bitch about it here. I think that when it your mom, who forgets your DC bday it is more upsetting than if it were someone else. You should try to calm down as much as possible and communicate your feelings to your mom. I know that I would absolutely not be able to stay calm so putting things on paper or in e-mail form would be more productive in my case. You know yourself and your mom better than anybody here so how to communicate with her should be your call.

Hope that after putting it all out there you already feel a little better, I know I do after venting. Big (((hugs))).

[kozachka]

You have every right to be upset and to bitch about it here. I think that when it your mom, who forgets your DC bday it is more upsetting than if it were someone else. You should try to calm down as much as possible and communicate your feelings to your mom. I know that I would absolutely not be able to stay calm so putting things on paper or in e-mail form would be more productive in my case. You know yourself and your mom better than anybody here so how to communicate with her should be your call.

Hope that after putting it all out there you already feel a little better, I know I do after venting. Big (((hugs))).

[kozachka]

You have every right to be upset and to bitch about it here. I think that when it your mom, who forgets your DC bday it is more upsetting than if it were someone else. You should try to calm down as much as possible and communicate your feelings to your mom. I know that I would absolutely not be able to stay calm so putting things on paper or in e-mail form would be more productive in my case. You know yourself and your mom better than anybody here so how to communicate with her should be your call.

Hope that after putting it all out there you already feel a little better, I know I do after venting. Big (((hugs))).

[kozachka]

You have every right to be upset and to bitch about it here. I think that when it your mom, who forgets your DC bday it is more upsetting than if it were someone else. You should try to calm down as much as possible and communicate your feelings to your mom. I know that I would absolutely not be able to stay calm so putting things on paper or in e-mail form would be more productive in my case. You know yourself and your mom better than anybody here so how to communicate with her should be your call.

Hope that after putting it all out there you already feel a little better, I know I do after venting. Big (((hugs))).

[kozachka]

You have every right to be upset and to bitch about it here. I think that when it your mom, who forgets your DC bday it is more upsetting than if it were someone else. You should try to calm down as much as possible and communicate your feelings to your mom. I know that I would absolutely not be able to stay calm so putting things on paper or in e-mail form would be more productive in my case. You know yourself and your mom better than anybody here so how to communicate with her should be your call.

Hope that after putting it all out there you already feel a little better, I know I do after venting. Big (((hugs))).

[kozachka]

You have every right to be upset and to bitch about it here. I think that when it your mom, who forgets your DC bday it is more upsetting than if it were someone else. You should try to calm down as much as possible and communicate your feelings to your mom. I know that I would absolutely not be able to stay calm so putting things on paper or in e-mail form would be more productive in my case. You know yourself and your mom better than anybody here so how to communicate with her should be your call.

Hope that after putting it all out there you already feel a little better, I know I do after venting. Big (((hugs))).

[kozachka]

You have every right to be upset and to bitch about it here. I think that when it your mom, who forgets your DC bday it is more upsetting than if it were someone else. You should try to calm down as much as possible and communicate your feelings to your mom. I know that I would absolutely not be able to stay calm so putting things on paper or in e-mail form would be more productive in my case. You know yourself and your mom better than anybody here so how to communicate with her should be your call.

Hope that after putting it all out there you already feel a little better, I know I do after venting. Big (((hugs))).

[kozachka]

You have every right to be upset and to bitch about it here. I think that when it your mom, who forgets your DC bday it is more upsetting than if it were someone else. You should try to calm down as much as possible and communicate your feelings to your mom. I know that I would absolutely not be able to stay calm so putting things on paper or in e-mail form would be more productive in my case. You know yourself and your mom better than anybody here so how to communicate with her should be your call.

Hope that after putting it all out there you already feel a little better, I know I do after venting. Big (((hugs))).

[mommy111]

I agree with what everyone said about what you should have done facing mom and answering cousin etc. Having said that, I would be RAVING MAD if mom forgot DCs birthday and I would have hung up the phone and cried and cried AND would not answer cousin's phone AND would not call her up later to apologize and let mom do it, because SHE can explain that she forgot grandchild's birthday. And I would sulk for a few days too and not talk to mom and let DH explain to her WHY i'm sulking. But then, I tend to be immature and you don't have to follow my example at all ;)
Heck, when you trust and love and expect someone to remember and they forget, that's the worst hurt of all. So hugs to you and I hope DC had a great day!

[mommy111]

I agree with what everyone said about what you should have done facing mom and answering cousin etc. Having said that, I would be RAVING MAD if mom forgot DCs birthday and I would have hung up the phone and cried and cried AND would not answer cousin's phone AND would not call her up later to apologize and let mom do it, because SHE can explain that she forgot grandchild's birthday. And I would sulk for a few days too and not talk to mom and let DH explain to her WHY i'm sulking. But then, I tend to be immature and you don't have to follow my example at all ;)
Heck, when you trust and love and expect someone to remember and they forget, that's the worst hurt of all. So hugs to you and I hope DC had a great day!

[mommy111]

I agree with what everyone said about what you should have done facing mom and answering cousin etc. Having said that, I would be RAVING MAD if mom forgot DCs birthday and I would have hung up the phone and cried and cried AND would not answer cousin's phone AND would not call her up later to apologize and let mom do it, because SHE can explain that she forgot grandchild's birthday. And I would sulk for a few days too and not talk to mom and let DH explain to her WHY i'm sulking. But then, I tend to be immature and you don't have to follow my example at all ;)
Heck, when you trust and love and expect someone to remember and they forget, that's the worst hurt of all. So hugs to you and I hope DC had a great day!

[mommy111]

I agree with what everyone said about what you should have done facing mom and answering cousin etc. Having said that, I would be RAVING MAD if mom forgot DCs birthday and I would have hung up the phone and cried and cried AND would not answer cousin's phone AND would not call her up later to apologize and let mom do it, because SHE can explain that she forgot grandchild's birthday. And I would sulk for a few days too and not talk to mom and let DH explain to her WHY i'm sulking. But then, I tend to be immature and you don't have to follow my example at all ;)
Heck, when you trust and love and expect someone to remember and they forget, that's the worst hurt of all. So hugs to you and I hope DC had a great day!

[mommy111]

I agree with what everyone said about what you should have done facing mom and answering cousin etc. Having said that, I would be RAVING MAD if mom forgot DCs birthday and I would have hung up the phone and cried and cried AND would not answer cousin's phone AND would not call her up later to apologize and let mom do it, because SHE can explain that she forgot grandchild's birthday. And I would sulk for a few days too and not talk to mom and let DH explain to her WHY i'm sulking. But then, I tend to be immature and you don't have to follow my example at all ;)
Heck, when you trust and love and expect someone to remember and they forget, that's the worst hurt of all. So hugs to you and I hope DC had a great day!

[mommy111]

I agree with what everyone said about what you should have done facing mom and answering cousin etc. Having said that, I would be RAVING MAD if mom forgot DCs birthday and I would have hung up the phone and cried and cried AND would not answer cousin's phone AND would not call her up later to apologize and let mom do it, because SHE can explain that she forgot grandchild's birthday. And I would sulk for a few days too and not talk to mom and let DH explain to her WHY i'm sulking. But then, I tend to be immature and you don't have to follow my example at all ;)
Heck, when you trust and love and expect someone to remember and they forget, that's the worst hurt of all. So hugs to you and I hope DC had a great day!

[mommy111]

I agree with what everyone said about what you should have done facing mom and answering cousin etc. Having said that, I would be RAVING MAD if mom forgot DCs birthday and I would have hung up the phone and cried and cried AND would not answer cousin's phone AND would not call her up later to apologize and let mom do it, because SHE can explain that she forgot grandchild's birthday. And I would sulk for a few days too and not talk to mom and let DH explain to her WHY i'm sulking. But then, I tend to be immature and you don't have to follow my example at all ;)
Heck, when you trust and love and expect someone to remember and they forget, that's the worst hurt of all. So hugs to you and I hope DC had a great day!

[mommy111]

I agree with what everyone said about what you should have done facing mom and answering cousin etc. Having said that, I would be RAVING MAD if mom forgot DCs birthday and I would have hung up the phone and cried and cried AND would not answer cousin's phone AND would not call her up later to apologize and let mom do it, because SHE can explain that she forgot grandchild's birthday. And I would sulk for a few days too and not talk to mom and let DH explain to her WHY i'm sulking. But then, I tend to be immature and you don't have to follow my example at all ;)
Heck, when you trust and love and expect someone to remember and they forget, that's the worst hurt of all. So hugs to you and I hope DC had a great day!

[mommy111]

I agree with what everyone said about what you should have done facing mom and answering cousin etc. Having said that, I would be RAVING MAD if mom forgot DCs birthday and I would have hung up the phone and cried and cried AND would not answer cousin's phone AND would not call her up later to apologize and let mom do it, because SHE can explain that she forgot grandchild's birthday. And I would sulk for a few days too and not talk to mom and let DH explain to her WHY i'm sulking. But then, I tend to be immature and you don't have to follow my example at all ;)
Heck, when you trust and love and expect someone to remember and they forget, that's the worst hurt of all. So hugs to you and I hope DC had a great day!

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

ITA that answering straight to speaker rarely has a good outcome, but it was natural to think Grandma had remembered his birthday.

And to disagree with most of the PPers, you have no obligation to answer your phone, regardless of if you know who it is, or not. It's your son's birthday party, who answers the phone? And you have no obligation to host a relative during your son's birthday weekend with NO NOTICE.

Happy Belated 2nd to him!

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

ITA that answering straight to speaker rarely has a good outcome, but it was natural to think Grandma had remembered his birthday.

And to disagree with most of the PPers, you have no obligation to answer your phone, regardless of if you know who it is, or not. It's your son's birthday party, who answers the phone? And you have no obligation to host a relative during your son's birthday weekend with NO NOTICE.

Happy Belated 2nd to him!

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

ITA that answering straight to speaker rarely has a good outcome, but it was natural to think Grandma had remembered his birthday.

And to disagree with most of the PPers, you have no obligation to answer your phone, regardless of if you know who it is, or not. It's your son's birthday party, who answers the phone? And you have no obligation to host a relative during your son's birthday weekend with NO NOTICE.

Happy Belated 2nd to him!

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

ITA that answering straight to speaker rarely has a good outcome, but it was natural to think Grandma had remembered his birthday.

And to disagree with most of the PPers, you have no obligation to answer your phone, regardless of if you know who it is, or not. It's your son's birthday party, who answers the phone? And you have no obligation to host a relative during your son's birthday weekend with NO NOTICE.

Happy Belated 2nd to him!

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

ITA that answering straight to speaker rarely has a good outcome, but it was natural to think Grandma had remembered his birthday.

And to disagree with most of the PPers, you have no obligation to answer your phone, regardless of if you know who it is, or not. It's your son's birthday party, who answers the phone? And you have no obligation to host a relative during your son's birthday weekend with NO NOTICE.

Happy Belated 2nd to him!

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

ITA that answering straight to speaker rarely has a good outcome, but it was natural to think Grandma had remembered his birthday.

And to disagree with most of the PPers, you have no obligation to answer your phone, regardless of if you know who it is, or not. It's your son's birthday party, who answers the phone? And you have no obligation to host a relative during your son's birthday weekend with NO NOTICE.

Happy Belated 2nd to him!

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

ITA that answering straight to speaker rarely has a good outcome, but it was natural to think Grandma had remembered his birthday.

And to disagree with most of the PPers, you have no obligation to answer your phone, regardless of if you know who it is, or not. It's your son's birthday party, who answers the phone? And you have no obligation to host a relative during your son's birthday weekend with NO NOTICE.

Happy Belated 2nd to him!

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

ITA that answering straight to speaker rarely has a good outcome, but it was natural to think Grandma had remembered his birthday.

And to disagree with most of the PPers, you have no obligation to answer your phone, regardless of if you know who it is, or not. It's your son's birthday party, who answers the phone? And you have no obligation to host a relative during your son's birthday weekend with NO NOTICE.

Happy Belated 2nd to him!

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

ITA that answering straight to speaker rarely has a good outcome, but it was natural to think Grandma had remembered his birthday.

And to disagree with most of the PPers, you have no obligation to answer your phone, regardless of if you know who it is, or not. It's your son's birthday party, who answers the phone? And you have no obligation to host a relative during your son's birthday weekend with NO NOTICE.

Happy Belated 2nd to him!

[chlobo]

I think the previous posters all agreed with not hosting the cousin. However, they did raise a valid point that the cousin had no idea what was going on and it would have been polite to at least call her back after the party to give her the brush off. It wasn't her fault the grandmother made a big mistake.

[chlobo]

I think the previous posters all agreed with not hosting the cousin. However, they did raise a valid point that the cousin had no idea what was going on and it would have been polite to at least call her back after the party to give her the brush off. It wasn't her fault the grandmother made a big mistake.

[chlobo]

I think the previous posters all agreed with not hosting the cousin. However, they did raise a valid point that the cousin had no idea what was going on and it would have been polite to at least call her back after the party to give her the brush off. It wasn't her fault the grandmother made a big mistake.

[chlobo]

I think the previous posters all agreed with not hosting the cousin. However, they did raise a valid point that the cousin had no idea what was going on and it would have been polite to at least call her back after the party to give her the brush off. It wasn't her fault the grandmother made a big mistake.

[chlobo]

I think the previous posters all agreed with not hosting the cousin. However, they did raise a valid point that the cousin had no idea what was going on and it would have been polite to at least call her back after the party to give her the brush off. It wasn't her fault the grandmother made a big mistake.

[chlobo]

I think the previous posters all agreed with not hosting the cousin. However, they did raise a valid point that the cousin had no idea what was going on and it would have been polite to at least call her back after the party to give her the brush off. It wasn't her fault the grandmother made a big mistake.

[chlobo]

I think the previous posters all agreed with not hosting the cousin. However, they did raise a valid point that the cousin had no idea what was going on and it would have been polite to at least call her back after the party to give her the brush off. It wasn't her fault the grandmother made a big mistake.

[chlobo]

I think the previous posters all agreed with not hosting the cousin. However, they did raise a valid point that the cousin had no idea what was going on and it would have been polite to at least call her back after the party to give her the brush off. It wasn't her fault the grandmother made a big mistake.

[chlobo]

I think the previous posters all agreed with not hosting the cousin. However, they did raise a valid point that the cousin had no idea what was going on and it would have been polite to at least call her back after the party to give her the brush off. It wasn't her fault the grandmother made a big mistake.

[usfrph]

Thanks for the hugs and birthday greetings for DS. DS had a great day yesterday and didn't really care that grandma forgot. I've certainly learned to use speaker phone with great caution from now on! :)

[usfrph]

Thanks for the hugs and birthday greetings for DS. DS had a great day yesterday and didn't really care that grandma forgot. I've certainly learned to use speaker phone with great caution from now on! :)

[usfrph]

Thanks for the hugs and birthday greetings for DS. DS had a great day yesterday and didn't really care that grandma forgot. I've certainly learned to use speaker phone with great caution from now on! :)

[usfrph]

Thanks for the hugs and birthday greetings for DS. DS had a great day yesterday and didn't really care that grandma forgot. I've certainly learned to use speaker phone with great caution from now on! :)

[usfrph]

Thanks for the hugs and birthday greetings for DS. DS had a great day yesterday and didn't really care that grandma forgot. I've certainly learned to use speaker phone with great caution from now on! :)

[usfrph]

Thanks for the hugs and birthday greetings for DS. DS had a great day yesterday and didn't really care that grandma forgot. I've certainly learned to use speaker phone with great caution from now on! :)

[usfrph]

Thanks for the hugs and birthday greetings for DS. DS had a great day yesterday and didn't really care that grandma forgot. I've certainly learned to use speaker phone with great caution from now on! :)

[usfrph]

Thanks for the hugs and birthday greetings for DS. DS had a great day yesterday and didn't really care that grandma forgot. I've certainly learned to use speaker phone with great caution from now on! :)

[usfrph]

Thanks for the hugs and birthday greetings for DS. DS had a great day yesterday and didn't really care that grandma forgot. I've certainly learned to use speaker phone with great caution from now on! :)

[Toba]

I have another theory, one which may be right or wrong. I bet that your mother was the one that "offered" your house to your cousin ... if you've only met her once and don't know her that well at all, I'm sure that's how she got your number. If that's the case, I think your MOTHER should be the one to call back and apologize, since she offered without your knowledge or consent. I know that both my mother and MIL have put me in similar situations, and it sucks. Especially because it makes YOU look like the bad guy because they already have it in their head that you've accepted, by way of your mother.


~Kimberly Anne~
Noah Nevan, March 12, 2004
*the light of my life*

[Toba]

I have another theory, one which may be right or wrong. I bet that your mother was the one that "offered" your house to your cousin ... if you've only met her once and don't know her that well at all, I'm sure that's how she got your number. If that's the case, I think your MOTHER should be the one to call back and apologize, since she offered without your knowledge or consent. I know that both my mother and MIL have put me in similar situations, and it sucks. Especially because it makes YOU look like the bad guy because they already have it in their head that you've accepted, by way of your mother.


~Kimberly Anne~
Noah Nevan, March 12, 2004
*the light of my life*

[Toba]

I have another theory, one which may be right or wrong. I bet that your mother was the one that "offered" your house to your cousin ... if you've only met her once and don't know her that well at all, I'm sure that's how she got your number. If that's the case, I think your MOTHER should be the one to call back and apologize, since she offered without your knowledge or consent. I know that both my mother and MIL have put me in similar situations, and it sucks. Especially because it makes YOU look like the bad guy because they already have it in their head that you've accepted, by way of your mother.


~Kimberly Anne~
Noah Nevan, March 12, 2004
*the light of my life*

[Toba]

I have another theory, one which may be right or wrong. I bet that your mother was the one that "offered" your house to your cousin ... if you've only met her once and don't know her that well at all, I'm sure that's how she got your number. If that's the case, I think your MOTHER should be the one to call back and apologize, since she offered without your knowledge or consent. I know that both my mother and MIL have put me in similar situations, and it sucks. Especially because it makes YOU look like the bad guy because they already have it in their head that you've accepted, by way of your mother.


~Kimberly Anne~
Noah Nevan, March 12, 2004
*the light of my life*

[Toba]

I have another theory, one which may be right or wrong. I bet that your mother was the one that "offered" your house to your cousin ... if you've only met her once and don't know her that well at all, I'm sure that's how she got your number. If that's the case, I think your MOTHER should be the one to call back and apologize, since she offered without your knowledge or consent. I know that both my mother and MIL have put me in similar situations, and it sucks. Especially because it makes YOU look like the bad guy because they already have it in their head that you've accepted, by way of your mother.


~Kimberly Anne~
Noah Nevan, March 12, 2004
*the light of my life*

[Toba]

I have another theory, one which may be right or wrong. I bet that your mother was the one that "offered" your house to your cousin ... if you've only met her once and don't know her that well at all, I'm sure that's how she got your number. If that's the case, I think your MOTHER should be the one to call back and apologize, since she offered without your knowledge or consent. I know that both my mother and MIL have put me in similar situations, and it sucks. Especially because it makes YOU look like the bad guy because they already have it in their head that you've accepted, by way of your mother.


~Kimberly Anne~
Noah Nevan, March 12, 2004
*the light of my life*

[Toba]

I have another theory, one which may be right or wrong. I bet that your mother was the one that "offered" your house to your cousin ... if you've only met her once and don't know her that well at all, I'm sure that's how she got your number. If that's the case, I think your MOTHER should be the one to call back and apologize, since she offered without your knowledge or consent. I know that both my mother and MIL have put me in similar situations, and it sucks. Especially because it makes YOU look like the bad guy because they already have it in their head that you've accepted, by way of your mother.


~Kimberly Anne~
Noah Nevan, March 12, 2004
*the light of my life*

[Toba]

I have another theory, one which may be right or wrong. I bet that your mother was the one that "offered" your house to your cousin ... if you've only met her once and don't know her that well at all, I'm sure that's how she got your number. If that's the case, I think your MOTHER should be the one to call back and apologize, since she offered without your knowledge or consent. I know that both my mother and MIL have put me in similar situations, and it sucks. Especially because it makes YOU look like the bad guy because they already have it in their head that you've accepted, by way of your mother.


~Kimberly Anne~
Noah Nevan, March 12, 2004
*the light of my life*

[Toba]

I have another theory, one which may be right or wrong. I bet that your mother was the one that "offered" your house to your cousin ... if you've only met her once and don't know her that well at all, I'm sure that's how she got your number. If that's the case, I think your MOTHER should be the one to call back and apologize, since she offered without your knowledge or consent. I know that both my mother and MIL have put me in similar situations, and it sucks. Especially because it makes YOU look like the bad guy because they already have it in their head that you've accepted, by way of your mother.


~Kimberly Anne~
Noah Nevan, March 12, 2004
*the light of my life*

[HannaAddict]

Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal with the confrontation or you think they will push the point, then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!! They should not expect you to be available, and when they didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.

(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it. It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute phone message from said relative that they would be in our city, we didn't return the call.)

I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday weekend after all.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal with the confrontation or you think they will push the point, then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!! They should not expect you to be available, and when they didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.

(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it. It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute phone message from said relative that they would be in our city, we didn't return the call.)

I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday weekend after all.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal with the confrontation or you think they will push the point, then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!! They should not expect you to be available, and when they didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.

(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it. It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute phone message from said relative that they would be in our city, we didn't return the call.)

I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday weekend after all.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal with the confrontation or you think they will push the point, then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!! They should not expect you to be available, and when they didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.

(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it. It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute phone message from said relative that they would be in our city, we didn't return the call.)

I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday weekend after all.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal with the confrontation or you think they will push the point, then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!! They should not expect you to be available, and when they didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.

(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it. It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute phone message from said relative that they would be in our city, we didn't return the call.)

I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday weekend after all.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal with the confrontation or you think they will push the point, then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!! They should not expect you to be available, and when they didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.

(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it. It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute phone message from said relative that they would be in our city, we didn't return the call.)

I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday weekend after all.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal with the confrontation or you think they will push the point, then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!! They should not expect you to be available, and when they didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.

(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it. It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute phone message from said relative that they would be in our city, we didn't return the call.)

I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday weekend after all.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal with the confrontation or you think they will push the point, then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!! They should not expect you to be available, and when they didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.

(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it. It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute phone message from said relative that they would be in our city, we didn't return the call.)

I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday weekend after all.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal with the confrontation or you think they will push the point, then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!! They should not expect you to be available, and when they didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.

(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it. It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute phone message from said relative that they would be in our city, we didn't return the call.)

I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday weekend after all.

Kimberly

[squimp]

I can't believe your mom didn't remember your son's birthday! That is horrible. Has she apologized? Does she realize that she made you cry in front of your party? I am just so mad for you!!!!

[squimp]

I can't believe your mom didn't remember your son's birthday! That is horrible. Has she apologized? Does she realize that she made you cry in front of your party? I am just so mad for you!!!!

[squimp]

I can't believe your mom didn't remember your son's birthday! That is horrible. Has she apologized? Does she realize that she made you cry in front of your party? I am just so mad for you!!!!

[squimp]

I can't believe your mom didn't remember your son's birthday! That is horrible. Has she apologized? Does she realize that she made you cry in front of your party? I am just so mad for you!!!!

[squimp]

I can't believe your mom didn't remember your son's birthday! That is horrible. Has she apologized? Does she realize that she made you cry in front of your party? I am just so mad for you!!!!

[squimp]

I can't believe your mom didn't remember your son's birthday! That is horrible. Has she apologized? Does she realize that she made you cry in front of your party? I am just so mad for you!!!!

[squimp]

I can't believe your mom didn't remember your son's birthday! That is horrible. Has she apologized? Does she realize that she made you cry in front of your party? I am just so mad for you!!!!

[squimp]

I can't believe your mom didn't remember your son's birthday! That is horrible. Has she apologized? Does she realize that she made you cry in front of your party? I am just so mad for you!!!!

[squimp]

I can't believe your mom didn't remember your son's birthday! That is horrible. Has she apologized? Does she realize that she made you cry in front of your party? I am just so mad for you!!!!

[cbm]

Happy Birthday to your DS.

Sorry your mom didn't remember his birthday. I think you should explain to her what she missed, how hurt you were, what happened, and how it went with the cousin.
As far as the cousin goes, perhaps the other posts that suggest your mother is the one that did the inviting are correct. Either way, why would you not call a person ahead of time to confirm whether they are really going to put you up or not? And unless you hit it off the first and only time you met and kept in touch, why would she think you had invited her?
Yes, you should have talked to her after the party, but I can understand how stressed and upset you felt.
If you feel you made mistakes, well, we all do. Learn and move on.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

Happy Birthday to your DS.

Sorry your mom didn't remember his birthday. I think you should explain to her what she missed, how hurt you were, what happened, and how it went with the cousin.
As far as the cousin goes, perhaps the other posts that suggest your mother is the one that did the inviting are correct. Either way, why would you not call a person ahead of time to confirm whether they are really going to put you up or not? And unless you hit it off the first and only time you met and kept in touch, why would she think you had invited her?
Yes, you should have talked to her after the party, but I can understand how stressed and upset you felt.
If you feel you made mistakes, well, we all do. Learn and move on.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

Happy Birthday to your DS.

Sorry your mom didn't remember his birthday. I think you should explain to her what she missed, how hurt you were, what happened, and how it went with the cousin.
As far as the cousin goes, perhaps the other posts that suggest your mother is the one that did the inviting are correct. Either way, why would you not call a person ahead of time to confirm whether they are really going to put you up or not? And unless you hit it off the first and only time you met and kept in touch, why would she think you had invited her?
Yes, you should have talked to her after the party, but I can understand how stressed and upset you felt.
If you feel you made mistakes, well, we all do. Learn and move on.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

Happy Birthday to your DS.

Sorry your mom didn't remember his birthday. I think you should explain to her what she missed, how hurt you were, what happened, and how it went with the cousin.
As far as the cousin goes, perhaps the other posts that suggest your mother is the one that did the inviting are correct. Either way, why would you not call a person ahead of time to confirm whether they are really going to put you up or not? And unless you hit it off the first and only time you met and kept in touch, why would she think you had invited her?
Yes, you should have talked to her after the party, but I can understand how stressed and upset you felt.
If you feel you made mistakes, well, we all do. Learn and move on.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

Happy Birthday to your DS.

Sorry your mom didn't remember his birthday. I think you should explain to her what she missed, how hurt you were, what happened, and how it went with the cousin.
As far as the cousin goes, perhaps the other posts that suggest your mother is the one that did the inviting are correct. Either way, why would you not call a person ahead of time to confirm whether they are really going to put you up or not? And unless you hit it off the first and only time you met and kept in touch, why would she think you had invited her?
Yes, you should have talked to her after the party, but I can understand how stressed and upset you felt.
If you feel you made mistakes, well, we all do. Learn and move on.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

Happy Birthday to your DS.

Sorry your mom didn't remember his birthday. I think you should explain to her what she missed, how hurt you were, what happened, and how it went with the cousin.
As far as the cousin goes, perhaps the other posts that suggest your mother is the one that did the inviting are correct. Either way, why would you not call a person ahead of time to confirm whether they are really going to put you up or not? And unless you hit it off the first and only time you met and kept in touch, why would she think you had invited her?
Yes, you should have talked to her after the party, but I can understand how stressed and upset you felt.
If you feel you made mistakes, well, we all do. Learn and move on.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

Happy Birthday to your DS.

Sorry your mom didn't remember his birthday. I think you should explain to her what she missed, how hurt you were, what happened, and how it went with the cousin.
As far as the cousin goes, perhaps the other posts that suggest your mother is the one that did the inviting are correct. Either way, why would you not call a person ahead of time to confirm whether they are really going to put you up or not? And unless you hit it off the first and only time you met and kept in touch, why would she think you had invited her?
Yes, you should have talked to her after the party, but I can understand how stressed and upset you felt.
If you feel you made mistakes, well, we all do. Learn and move on.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

Happy Birthday to your DS.

Sorry your mom didn't remember his birthday. I think you should explain to her what she missed, how hurt you were, what happened, and how it went with the cousin.
As far as the cousin goes, perhaps the other posts that suggest your mother is the one that did the inviting are correct. Either way, why would you not call a person ahead of time to confirm whether they are really going to put you up or not? And unless you hit it off the first and only time you met and kept in touch, why would she think you had invited her?
Yes, you should have talked to her after the party, but I can understand how stressed and upset you felt.
If you feel you made mistakes, well, we all do. Learn and move on.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

Happy Birthday to your DS.

Sorry your mom didn't remember his birthday. I think you should explain to her what she missed, how hurt you were, what happened, and how it went with the cousin.
As far as the cousin goes, perhaps the other posts that suggest your mother is the one that did the inviting are correct. Either way, why would you not call a person ahead of time to confirm whether they are really going to put you up or not? And unless you hit it off the first and only time you met and kept in touch, why would she think you had invited her?
Yes, you should have talked to her after the party, but I can understand how stressed and upset you felt.
If you feel you made mistakes, well, we all do. Learn and move on.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[DeeEast]

>Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up
>to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was
>not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously
>disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort
>of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to
>explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with
>you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then
>if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were
>crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check
>messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you
>at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have
>met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or
>even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal
>with the confrontation or you think they will push the point,
>then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they
>were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then
>couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!!
>They should not expect you to be available, and when they
>didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other
>plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.
>
>
>(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of
>thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided
>they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day
>before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said
>that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it
>would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had
>to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it.
>It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute
>phone message from said relative that they would be in our
>city, we didn't return the call.)
>
>I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a
>work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with
>the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a
>great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her
>part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday
>weekend after all.
>
>Kimberly

I agree. You had no obligation to answer the phone or call this cousin back under these circumstances. It was in no way rude of YOU not to communicate with her. She had no reasonable expectations of any kind from you since she had only met you once and hadn't called or commuicated in advance. That was terribly rude in my opinion. You owe her no explanation or apology of any kind. Vice versa actually.

Of course your mother should apologize and explain how she forgot your son's birthday. Unless she has some memory problems (my mother is 79 so I sometimes cut her some slack but I would still be pretty upset if she forgot one of my kids' birthdays) I would be very upset with her.

[DeeEast]

>Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up
>to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was
>not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously
>disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort
>of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to
>explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with
>you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then
>if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were
>crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check
>messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you
>at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have
>met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or
>even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal
>with the confrontation or you think they will push the point,
>then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they
>were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then
>couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!!
>They should not expect you to be available, and when they
>didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other
>plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.
>
>
>(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of
>thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided
>they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day
>before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said
>that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it
>would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had
>to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it.
>It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute
>phone message from said relative that they would be in our
>city, we didn't return the call.)
>
>I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a
>work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with
>the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a
>great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her
>part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday
>weekend after all.
>
>Kimberly

I agree. You had no obligation to answer the phone or call this cousin back under these circumstances. It was in no way rude of YOU not to communicate with her. She had no reasonable expectations of any kind from you since she had only met you once and hadn't called or commuicated in advance. That was terribly rude in my opinion. You owe her no explanation or apology of any kind. Vice versa actually.

Of course your mother should apologize and explain how she forgot your son's birthday. Unless she has some memory problems (my mother is 79 so I sometimes cut her some slack but I would still be pretty upset if she forgot one of my kids' birthdays) I would be very upset with her.

[DeeEast]

>Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up
>to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was
>not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously
>disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort
>of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to
>explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with
>you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then
>if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were
>crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check
>messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you
>at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have
>met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or
>even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal
>with the confrontation or you think they will push the point,
>then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they
>were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then
>couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!!
>They should not expect you to be available, and when they
>didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other
>plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.
>
>
>(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of
>thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided
>they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day
>before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said
>that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it
>would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had
>to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it.
>It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute
>phone message from said relative that they would be in our
>city, we didn't return the call.)
>
>I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a
>work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with
>the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a
>great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her
>part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday
>weekend after all.
>
>Kimberly

I agree. You had no obligation to answer the phone or call this cousin back under these circumstances. It was in no way rude of YOU not to communicate with her. She had no reasonable expectations of any kind from you since she had only met you once and hadn't called or commuicated in advance. That was terribly rude in my opinion. You owe her no explanation or apology of any kind. Vice versa actually.

Of course your mother should apologize and explain how she forgot your son's birthday. Unless she has some memory problems (my mother is 79 so I sometimes cut her some slack but I would still be pretty upset if she forgot one of my kids' birthdays) I would be very upset with her.

[DeeEast]

>Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up
>to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was
>not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously
>disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort
>of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to
>explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with
>you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then
>if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were
>crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check
>messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you
>at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have
>met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or
>even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal
>with the confrontation or you think they will push the point,
>then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they
>were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then
>couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!!
>They should not expect you to be available, and when they
>didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other
>plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.
>
>
>(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of
>thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided
>they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day
>before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said
>that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it
>would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had
>to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it.
>It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute
>phone message from said relative that they would be in our
>city, we didn't return the call.)
>
>I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a
>work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with
>the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a
>great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her
>part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday
>weekend after all.
>
>Kimberly

I agree. You had no obligation to answer the phone or call this cousin back under these circumstances. It was in no way rude of YOU not to communicate with her. She had no reasonable expectations of any kind from you since she had only met you once and hadn't called or commuicated in advance. That was terribly rude in my opinion. You owe her no explanation or apology of any kind. Vice versa actually.

Of course your mother should apologize and explain how she forgot your son's birthday. Unless she has some memory problems (my mother is 79 so I sometimes cut her some slack but I would still be pretty upset if she forgot one of my kids' birthdays) I would be very upset with her.

[DeeEast]

>Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up
>to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was
>not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously
>disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort
>of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to
>explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with
>you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then
>if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were
>crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check
>messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you
>at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have
>met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or
>even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal
>with the confrontation or you think they will push the point,
>then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they
>were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then
>couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!!
>They should not expect you to be available, and when they
>didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other
>plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.
>
>
>(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of
>thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided
>they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day
>before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said
>that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it
>would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had
>to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it.
>It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute
>phone message from said relative that they would be in our
>city, we didn't return the call.)
>
>I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a
>work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with
>the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a
>great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her
>part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday
>weekend after all.
>
>Kimberly

I agree. You had no obligation to answer the phone or call this cousin back under these circumstances. It was in no way rude of YOU not to communicate with her. She had no reasonable expectations of any kind from you since she had only met you once and hadn't called or commuicated in advance. That was terribly rude in my opinion. You owe her no explanation or apology of any kind. Vice versa actually.

Of course your mother should apologize and explain how she forgot your son's birthday. Unless she has some memory problems (my mother is 79 so I sometimes cut her some slack but I would still be pretty upset if she forgot one of my kids' birthdays) I would be very upset with her.

[DeeEast]

>Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up
>to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was
>not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously
>disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort
>of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to
>explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with
>you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then
>if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were
>crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check
>messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you
>at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have
>met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or
>even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal
>with the confrontation or you think they will push the point,
>then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they
>were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then
>couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!!
>They should not expect you to be available, and when they
>didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other
>plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.
>
>
>(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of
>thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided
>they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day
>before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said
>that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it
>would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had
>to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it.
>It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute
>phone message from said relative that they would be in our
>city, we didn't return the call.)
>
>I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a
>work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with
>the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a
>great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her
>part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday
>weekend after all.
>
>Kimberly

I agree. You had no obligation to answer the phone or call this cousin back under these circumstances. It was in no way rude of YOU not to communicate with her. She had no reasonable expectations of any kind from you since she had only met you once and hadn't called or commuicated in advance. That was terribly rude in my opinion. You owe her no explanation or apology of any kind. Vice versa actually.

Of course your mother should apologize and explain how she forgot your son's birthday. Unless she has some memory problems (my mother is 79 so I sometimes cut her some slack but I would still be pretty upset if she forgot one of my kids' birthdays) I would be very upset with her.

[DeeEast]

>Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up
>to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was
>not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously
>disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort
>of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to
>explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with
>you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then
>if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were
>crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check
>messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you
>at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have
>met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or
>even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal
>with the confrontation or you think they will push the point,
>then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they
>were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then
>couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!!
>They should not expect you to be available, and when they
>didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other
>plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.
>
>
>(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of
>thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided
>they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day
>before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said
>that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it
>would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had
>to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it.
>It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute
>phone message from said relative that they would be in our
>city, we didn't return the call.)
>
>I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a
>work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with
>the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a
>great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her
>part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday
>weekend after all.
>
>Kimberly

I agree. You had no obligation to answer the phone or call this cousin back under these circumstances. It was in no way rude of YOU not to communicate with her. She had no reasonable expectations of any kind from you since she had only met you once and hadn't called or commuicated in advance. That was terribly rude in my opinion. You owe her no explanation or apology of any kind. Vice versa actually.

Of course your mother should apologize and explain how she forgot your son's birthday. Unless she has some memory problems (my mother is 79 so I sometimes cut her some slack but I would still be pretty upset if she forgot one of my kids' birthdays) I would be very upset with her.

[DeeEast]

>Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up
>to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was
>not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously
>disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort
>of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to
>explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with
>you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then
>if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were
>crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check
>messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you
>at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have
>met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or
>even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal
>with the confrontation or you think they will push the point,
>then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they
>were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then
>couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!!
>They should not expect you to be available, and when they
>didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other
>plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.
>
>
>(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of
>thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided
>they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day
>before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said
>that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it
>would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had
>to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it.
>It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute
>phone message from said relative that they would be in our
>city, we didn't return the call.)
>
>I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a
>work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with
>the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a
>great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her
>part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday
>weekend after all.
>
>Kimberly

I agree. You had no obligation to answer the phone or call this cousin back under these circumstances. It was in no way rude of YOU not to communicate with her. She had no reasonable expectations of any kind from you since she had only met you once and hadn't called or commuicated in advance. That was terribly rude in my opinion. You owe her no explanation or apology of any kind. Vice versa actually.

Of course your mother should apologize and explain how she forgot your son's birthday. Unless she has some memory problems (my mother is 79 so I sometimes cut her some slack but I would still be pretty upset if she forgot one of my kids' birthdays) I would be very upset with her.

[DeeEast]

>Bingo! My feelings exactly. I bet your mom offered you up
>to the said cousin. The cousin you have met once, that was
>not invited to be house guest. AAHHH!! I strenuously
>disagree with the posters who seem to think you have some sort
>of obligation to answer the phone calls of your cousin. Or to
>explain why they, the uninvited imposer, couldn't stay with
>you. If you liked this cousin the one time you met them, then
>if you feel like it, go ahead and call and explain things were
>crazy with birthday party stuff and you didn't even check
>messages/take calls, etc. When someone tries to impose on you
>at the last minute like that, especially someone who you have
>met once in your life, you don't owe them an explanation or
>even need to pick up the phone. If you don't want to deal
>with the confrontation or you think they will push the point,
>then avoidance is a reasonable strategy. It isn't like they
>were invited to your home, traveled to your city and then
>couldn't figure out where you were. They weren't invited!!
>They should not expect you to be available, and when they
>didn't reach you via phone they should have simply made other
>plans and booked a room at a Holiday Inn Express or something.
>
>
>(FWIW, we have one relative who is known for this sort of
>thing too (on my in-laws side, big surprise). They decided
>they wanted to stay at our house (no real guest room) the day
>before we were hosting Thanksgiving. My husband nicely said
>that wouldn't work for us, they kept insisting that "yes, it
>would be fine" that they would be no trouble. My husband had
>to repeatedly say "no" and had to get pretty abrupt about it.
>It wasn't pleasant. The next time we got the last minute
>phone message from said relative that they would be in our
>city, we didn't return the call.)
>
>I'm sorry your mom missed your son's birthday. And while in a
>work context or most other contexts I would urge caution with
>the speaker phone, I can see why you thought this would be a
>great time to use it. I hope your mom can apologize for her
>part in this and hope you had a nice party and birthday
>weekend after all.
>
>Kimberly

I agree. You had no obligation to answer the phone or call this cousin back under these circumstances. It was in no way rude of YOU not to communicate with her. She had no reasonable expectations of any kind from you since she had only met you once and hadn't called or commuicated in advance. That was terribly rude in my opinion. You owe her no explanation or apology of any kind. Vice versa actually.

Of course your mother should apologize and explain how she forgot your son's birthday. Unless she has some memory problems (my mother is 79 so I sometimes cut her some slack but I would still be pretty upset if she forgot one of my kids' birthdays) I would be very upset with her.