In tears

[farsk]

I'm premenstrual and I'm sure that has to do with the majority of this, but I am typing through tears tonight.

I don't know if it's because I see Ellen as a companion or because she's getting older, but for the recent past, we have gone everywhere together. To the movies, to a Highland Festival, I took her to the planetarium. I'm teaching her spanish. She's such a pleasure and a joy and such a good little girl.

I e-mailed XH earlier this month to ask when he was coming to see her again.

Tonight, almost 3 weeks later, he e-mails back and tells me that he isn't sure when he'll be able to come in, "money is tight", but will try to make it sometime around her birthday.

He saw her on Memorial Day weekend and won't see her again until the end of July, if then?!?!

How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?

You know, I hear women all the time saying "I'm not looking for a daddy for my baby" and for me, it's also true. I don't need anyone to take care of me an Ellen. But I do long for her to have a positive male influence in her life.

And for some reason, I feel that *I* am failing miserably in providing that for her. I obviously don't introduce Ellen to the men that I date, but the dates that I have had have been so spectacularly awful, I wonder if there are any decent men out there. And if there are no decent dates, there will be no constant male influence in her life.

My male cousins live away from here. I don't have brothers. My dad has a 10-year-old daughter from his latest marriage, XH's father is good to her, but doesn't interact with her like a "daddy" and Ellen loves my mom's husband, and I do too.....when he's not drinking.

I'm sorry for the mope. I know God has a plan. I know that XH was not meant to be in my long term plan. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why I had a child (who was a surprise) with him.

[farsk]

I'm premenstrual and I'm sure that has to do with the majority of this, but I am typing through tears tonight.

I don't know if it's because I see Ellen as a companion or because she's getting older, but for the recent past, we have gone everywhere together. To the movies, to a Highland Festival, I took her to the planetarium. I'm teaching her spanish. She's such a pleasure and a joy and such a good little girl.

I e-mailed XH earlier this month to ask when he was coming to see her again.

Tonight, almost 3 weeks later, he e-mails back and tells me that he isn't sure when he'll be able to come in, "money is tight", but will try to make it sometime around her birthday.

He saw her on Memorial Day weekend and won't see her again until the end of July, if then?!?!

How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?

You know, I hear women all the time saying "I'm not looking for a daddy for my baby" and for me, it's also true. I don't need anyone to take care of me an Ellen. But I do long for her to have a positive male influence in her life.

And for some reason, I feel that *I* am failing miserably in providing that for her. I obviously don't introduce Ellen to the men that I date, but the dates that I have had have been so spectacularly awful, I wonder if there are any decent men out there. And if there are no decent dates, there will be no constant male influence in her life.

My male cousins live away from here. I don't have brothers. My dad has a 10-year-old daughter from his latest marriage, XH's father is good to her, but doesn't interact with her like a "daddy" and Ellen loves my mom's husband, and I do too.....when he's not drinking.

I'm sorry for the mope. I know God has a plan. I know that XH was not meant to be in my long term plan. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why I had a child (who was a surprise) with him.

[farsk]

I'm premenstrual and I'm sure that has to do with the majority of this, but I am typing through tears tonight.

I don't know if it's because I see Ellen as a companion or because she's getting older, but for the recent past, we have gone everywhere together. To the movies, to a Highland Festival, I took her to the planetarium. I'm teaching her spanish. She's such a pleasure and a joy and such a good little girl.

I e-mailed XH earlier this month to ask when he was coming to see her again.

Tonight, almost 3 weeks later, he e-mails back and tells me that he isn't sure when he'll be able to come in, "money is tight", but will try to make it sometime around her birthday.

He saw her on Memorial Day weekend and won't see her again until the end of July, if then?!?!

How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?

You know, I hear women all the time saying "I'm not looking for a daddy for my baby" and for me, it's also true. I don't need anyone to take care of me an Ellen. But I do long for her to have a positive male influence in her life.

And for some reason, I feel that *I* am failing miserably in providing that for her. I obviously don't introduce Ellen to the men that I date, but the dates that I have had have been so spectacularly awful, I wonder if there are any decent men out there. And if there are no decent dates, there will be no constant male influence in her life.

My male cousins live away from here. I don't have brothers. My dad has a 10-year-old daughter from his latest marriage, XH's father is good to her, but doesn't interact with her like a "daddy" and Ellen loves my mom's husband, and I do too.....when he's not drinking.

I'm sorry for the mope. I know God has a plan. I know that XH was not meant to be in my long term plan. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why I had a child (who was a surprise) with him.

[farsk]

I'm premenstrual and I'm sure that has to do with the majority of this, but I am typing through tears tonight.

I don't know if it's because I see Ellen as a companion or because she's getting older, but for the recent past, we have gone everywhere together. To the movies, to a Highland Festival, I took her to the planetarium. I'm teaching her spanish. She's such a pleasure and a joy and such a good little girl.

I e-mailed XH earlier this month to ask when he was coming to see her again.

Tonight, almost 3 weeks later, he e-mails back and tells me that he isn't sure when he'll be able to come in, "money is tight", but will try to make it sometime around her birthday.

He saw her on Memorial Day weekend and won't see her again until the end of July, if then?!?!

How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?

You know, I hear women all the time saying "I'm not looking for a daddy for my baby" and for me, it's also true. I don't need anyone to take care of me an Ellen. But I do long for her to have a positive male influence in her life.

And for some reason, I feel that *I* am failing miserably in providing that for her. I obviously don't introduce Ellen to the men that I date, but the dates that I have had have been so spectacularly awful, I wonder if there are any decent men out there. And if there are no decent dates, there will be no constant male influence in her life.

My male cousins live away from here. I don't have brothers. My dad has a 10-year-old daughter from his latest marriage, XH's father is good to her, but doesn't interact with her like a "daddy" and Ellen loves my mom's husband, and I do too.....when he's not drinking.

I'm sorry for the mope. I know God has a plan. I know that XH was not meant to be in my long term plan. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why I had a child (who was a surprise) with him.

[farsk]

I'm premenstrual and I'm sure that has to do with the majority of this, but I am typing through tears tonight.

I don't know if it's because I see Ellen as a companion or because she's getting older, but for the recent past, we have gone everywhere together. To the movies, to a Highland Festival, I took her to the planetarium. I'm teaching her spanish. She's such a pleasure and a joy and such a good little girl.

I e-mailed XH earlier this month to ask when he was coming to see her again.

Tonight, almost 3 weeks later, he e-mails back and tells me that he isn't sure when he'll be able to come in, "money is tight", but will try to make it sometime around her birthday.

He saw her on Memorial Day weekend and won't see her again until the end of July, if then?!?!

How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?

You know, I hear women all the time saying "I'm not looking for a daddy for my baby" and for me, it's also true. I don't need anyone to take care of me an Ellen. But I do long for her to have a positive male influence in her life.

And for some reason, I feel that *I* am failing miserably in providing that for her. I obviously don't introduce Ellen to the men that I date, but the dates that I have had have been so spectacularly awful, I wonder if there are any decent men out there. And if there are no decent dates, there will be no constant male influence in her life.

My male cousins live away from here. I don't have brothers. My dad has a 10-year-old daughter from his latest marriage, XH's father is good to her, but doesn't interact with her like a "daddy" and Ellen loves my mom's husband, and I do too.....when he's not drinking.

I'm sorry for the mope. I know God has a plan. I know that XH was not meant to be in my long term plan. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why I had a child (who was a surprise) with him.

[farsk]

I'm premenstrual and I'm sure that has to do with the majority of this, but I am typing through tears tonight.

I don't know if it's because I see Ellen as a companion or because she's getting older, but for the recent past, we have gone everywhere together. To the movies, to a Highland Festival, I took her to the planetarium. I'm teaching her spanish. She's such a pleasure and a joy and such a good little girl.

I e-mailed XH earlier this month to ask when he was coming to see her again.

Tonight, almost 3 weeks later, he e-mails back and tells me that he isn't sure when he'll be able to come in, "money is tight", but will try to make it sometime around her birthday.

He saw her on Memorial Day weekend and won't see her again until the end of July, if then?!?!

How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?

You know, I hear women all the time saying "I'm not looking for a daddy for my baby" and for me, it's also true. I don't need anyone to take care of me an Ellen. But I do long for her to have a positive male influence in her life.

And for some reason, I feel that *I* am failing miserably in providing that for her. I obviously don't introduce Ellen to the men that I date, but the dates that I have had have been so spectacularly awful, I wonder if there are any decent men out there. And if there are no decent dates, there will be no constant male influence in her life.

My male cousins live away from here. I don't have brothers. My dad has a 10-year-old daughter from his latest marriage, XH's father is good to her, but doesn't interact with her like a "daddy" and Ellen loves my mom's husband, and I do too.....when he's not drinking.

I'm sorry for the mope. I know God has a plan. I know that XH was not meant to be in my long term plan. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why I had a child (who was a surprise) with him.

[farsk]

I'm premenstrual and I'm sure that has to do with the majority of this, but I am typing through tears tonight.

I don't know if it's because I see Ellen as a companion or because she's getting older, but for the recent past, we have gone everywhere together. To the movies, to a Highland Festival, I took her to the planetarium. I'm teaching her spanish. She's such a pleasure and a joy and such a good little girl.

I e-mailed XH earlier this month to ask when he was coming to see her again.

Tonight, almost 3 weeks later, he e-mails back and tells me that he isn't sure when he'll be able to come in, "money is tight", but will try to make it sometime around her birthday.

He saw her on Memorial Day weekend and won't see her again until the end of July, if then?!?!

How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?

You know, I hear women all the time saying "I'm not looking for a daddy for my baby" and for me, it's also true. I don't need anyone to take care of me an Ellen. But I do long for her to have a positive male influence in her life.

And for some reason, I feel that *I* am failing miserably in providing that for her. I obviously don't introduce Ellen to the men that I date, but the dates that I have had have been so spectacularly awful, I wonder if there are any decent men out there. And if there are no decent dates, there will be no constant male influence in her life.

My male cousins live away from here. I don't have brothers. My dad has a 10-year-old daughter from his latest marriage, XH's father is good to her, but doesn't interact with her like a "daddy" and Ellen loves my mom's husband, and I do too.....when he's not drinking.

I'm sorry for the mope. I know God has a plan. I know that XH was not meant to be in my long term plan. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why I had a child (who was a surprise) with him.

[farsk]

I'm premenstrual and I'm sure that has to do with the majority of this, but I am typing through tears tonight.

I don't know if it's because I see Ellen as a companion or because she's getting older, but for the recent past, we have gone everywhere together. To the movies, to a Highland Festival, I took her to the planetarium. I'm teaching her spanish. She's such a pleasure and a joy and such a good little girl.

I e-mailed XH earlier this month to ask when he was coming to see her again.

Tonight, almost 3 weeks later, he e-mails back and tells me that he isn't sure when he'll be able to come in, "money is tight", but will try to make it sometime around her birthday.

He saw her on Memorial Day weekend and won't see her again until the end of July, if then?!?!

How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?

You know, I hear women all the time saying "I'm not looking for a daddy for my baby" and for me, it's also true. I don't need anyone to take care of me an Ellen. But I do long for her to have a positive male influence in her life.

And for some reason, I feel that *I* am failing miserably in providing that for her. I obviously don't introduce Ellen to the men that I date, but the dates that I have had have been so spectacularly awful, I wonder if there are any decent men out there. And if there are no decent dates, there will be no constant male influence in her life.

My male cousins live away from here. I don't have brothers. My dad has a 10-year-old daughter from his latest marriage, XH's father is good to her, but doesn't interact with her like a "daddy" and Ellen loves my mom's husband, and I do too.....when he's not drinking.

I'm sorry for the mope. I know God has a plan. I know that XH was not meant to be in my long term plan. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why I had a child (who was a surprise) with him.

[farsk]

I'm premenstrual and I'm sure that has to do with the majority of this, but I am typing through tears tonight.

I don't know if it's because I see Ellen as a companion or because she's getting older, but for the recent past, we have gone everywhere together. To the movies, to a Highland Festival, I took her to the planetarium. I'm teaching her spanish. She's such a pleasure and a joy and such a good little girl.

I e-mailed XH earlier this month to ask when he was coming to see her again.

Tonight, almost 3 weeks later, he e-mails back and tells me that he isn't sure when he'll be able to come in, "money is tight", but will try to make it sometime around her birthday.

He saw her on Memorial Day weekend and won't see her again until the end of July, if then?!?!

How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?

You know, I hear women all the time saying "I'm not looking for a daddy for my baby" and for me, it's also true. I don't need anyone to take care of me an Ellen. But I do long for her to have a positive male influence in her life.

And for some reason, I feel that *I* am failing miserably in providing that for her. I obviously don't introduce Ellen to the men that I date, but the dates that I have had have been so spectacularly awful, I wonder if there are any decent men out there. And if there are no decent dates, there will be no constant male influence in her life.

My male cousins live away from here. I don't have brothers. My dad has a 10-year-old daughter from his latest marriage, XH's father is good to her, but doesn't interact with her like a "daddy" and Ellen loves my mom's husband, and I do too.....when he's not drinking.

I'm sorry for the mope. I know God has a plan. I know that XH was not meant to be in my long term plan. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why I had a child (who was a surprise) with him.

[schums]

(((HUGS))) momma!! Ellen is going to be a strong, successful woman whether she ever has another central male role model or not. You are teaching her how to be a strong independent woman. She will follow your lead!

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[schums]

(((HUGS))) momma!! Ellen is going to be a strong, successful woman whether she ever has another central male role model or not. You are teaching her how to be a strong independent woman. She will follow your lead!

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[schums]

(((HUGS))) momma!! Ellen is going to be a strong, successful woman whether she ever has another central male role model or not. You are teaching her how to be a strong independent woman. She will follow your lead!

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[schums]

(((HUGS))) momma!! Ellen is going to be a strong, successful woman whether she ever has another central male role model or not. You are teaching her how to be a strong independent woman. She will follow your lead!

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[schums]

(((HUGS))) momma!! Ellen is going to be a strong, successful woman whether she ever has another central male role model or not. You are teaching her how to be a strong independent woman. She will follow your lead!

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[schums]

(((HUGS))) momma!! Ellen is going to be a strong, successful woman whether she ever has another central male role model or not. You are teaching her how to be a strong independent woman. She will follow your lead!

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[schums]

(((HUGS))) momma!! Ellen is going to be a strong, successful woman whether she ever has another central male role model or not. You are teaching her how to be a strong independent woman. She will follow your lead!

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[schums]

(((HUGS))) momma!! Ellen is going to be a strong, successful woman whether she ever has another central male role model or not. You are teaching her how to be a strong independent woman. She will follow your lead!

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[schums]

(((HUGS))) momma!! Ellen is going to be a strong, successful woman whether she ever has another central male role model or not. You are teaching her how to be a strong independent woman. She will follow your lead!

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

Sarah
Mom to Alex (3/2002) and Catherine (8/2003)

[alexsmommy]

Ditto what PP said. You are teaching her that only DESERVING men need to be in her life. Your example will be soooo important in how she makes choices about the men in her (far away) future. I'm sorry to say this, but XH sounds like an a**,not exactly the example she needs. Yes, he's still her father, but I'd try to look at it in a "the less he's around, the less damage he can do" manner. Be positive about XH around her, let her realize what kind of man her father is in her own way in her own time, and continue to show her that strong women make choices that a good for them - including walking away from bad situations no matter how much we may love a person. You've been so strong. I know it must be hard. Have a good cry and plan something extra special for you and DD.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

Ditto what PP said. You are teaching her that only DESERVING men need to be in her life. Your example will be soooo important in how she makes choices about the men in her (far away) future. I'm sorry to say this, but XH sounds like an a**,not exactly the example she needs. Yes, he's still her father, but I'd try to look at it in a "the less he's around, the less damage he can do" manner. Be positive about XH around her, let her realize what kind of man her father is in her own way in her own time, and continue to show her that strong women make choices that a good for them - including walking away from bad situations no matter how much we may love a person. You've been so strong. I know it must be hard. Have a good cry and plan something extra special for you and DD.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

Ditto what PP said. You are teaching her that only DESERVING men need to be in her life. Your example will be soooo important in how she makes choices about the men in her (far away) future. I'm sorry to say this, but XH sounds like an a**,not exactly the example she needs. Yes, he's still her father, but I'd try to look at it in a "the less he's around, the less damage he can do" manner. Be positive about XH around her, let her realize what kind of man her father is in her own way in her own time, and continue to show her that strong women make choices that a good for them - including walking away from bad situations no matter how much we may love a person. You've been so strong. I know it must be hard. Have a good cry and plan something extra special for you and DD.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

Ditto what PP said. You are teaching her that only DESERVING men need to be in her life. Your example will be soooo important in how she makes choices about the men in her (far away) future. I'm sorry to say this, but XH sounds like an a**,not exactly the example she needs. Yes, he's still her father, but I'd try to look at it in a "the less he's around, the less damage he can do" manner. Be positive about XH around her, let her realize what kind of man her father is in her own way in her own time, and continue to show her that strong women make choices that a good for them - including walking away from bad situations no matter how much we may love a person. You've been so strong. I know it must be hard. Have a good cry and plan something extra special for you and DD.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

Ditto what PP said. You are teaching her that only DESERVING men need to be in her life. Your example will be soooo important in how she makes choices about the men in her (far away) future. I'm sorry to say this, but XH sounds like an a**,not exactly the example she needs. Yes, he's still her father, but I'd try to look at it in a "the less he's around, the less damage he can do" manner. Be positive about XH around her, let her realize what kind of man her father is in her own way in her own time, and continue to show her that strong women make choices that a good for them - including walking away from bad situations no matter how much we may love a person. You've been so strong. I know it must be hard. Have a good cry and plan something extra special for you and DD.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

Ditto what PP said. You are teaching her that only DESERVING men need to be in her life. Your example will be soooo important in how she makes choices about the men in her (far away) future. I'm sorry to say this, but XH sounds like an a**,not exactly the example she needs. Yes, he's still her father, but I'd try to look at it in a "the less he's around, the less damage he can do" manner. Be positive about XH around her, let her realize what kind of man her father is in her own way in her own time, and continue to show her that strong women make choices that a good for them - including walking away from bad situations no matter how much we may love a person. You've been so strong. I know it must be hard. Have a good cry and plan something extra special for you and DD.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

Ditto what PP said. You are teaching her that only DESERVING men need to be in her life. Your example will be soooo important in how she makes choices about the men in her (far away) future. I'm sorry to say this, but XH sounds like an a**,not exactly the example she needs. Yes, he's still her father, but I'd try to look at it in a "the less he's around, the less damage he can do" manner. Be positive about XH around her, let her realize what kind of man her father is in her own way in her own time, and continue to show her that strong women make choices that a good for them - including walking away from bad situations no matter how much we may love a person. You've been so strong. I know it must be hard. Have a good cry and plan something extra special for you and DD.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

Ditto what PP said. You are teaching her that only DESERVING men need to be in her life. Your example will be soooo important in how she makes choices about the men in her (far away) future. I'm sorry to say this, but XH sounds like an a**,not exactly the example she needs. Yes, he's still her father, but I'd try to look at it in a "the less he's around, the less damage he can do" manner. Be positive about XH around her, let her realize what kind of man her father is in her own way in her own time, and continue to show her that strong women make choices that a good for them - including walking away from bad situations no matter how much we may love a person. You've been so strong. I know it must be hard. Have a good cry and plan something extra special for you and DD.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

Ditto what PP said. You are teaching her that only DESERVING men need to be in her life. Your example will be soooo important in how she makes choices about the men in her (far away) future. I'm sorry to say this, but XH sounds like an a**,not exactly the example she needs. Yes, he's still her father, but I'd try to look at it in a "the less he's around, the less damage he can do" manner. Be positive about XH around her, let her realize what kind of man her father is in her own way in her own time, and continue to show her that strong women make choices that a good for them - including walking away from bad situations no matter how much we may love a person. You've been so strong. I know it must be hard. Have a good cry and plan something extra special for you and DD.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[farsk]

I guess I just wonder more than anything why *he* doesn't want to be around her.

Why *he* chose to move 8 hours away from this precious little girl.

Why that #$!@% and *her* children get the "benefit" of him.

Ellen is *his* daughter. The one that *he* cried about when I found out I was pregnant and didn't want to be. The one that *he* said he'd think about every day of his life if we didn't have her.

And now he goes and does *this* to her?

Doesn't she deserve better?

Pretty sure my gripe is done. I'm just feeling like a bad mamma tonight.

[farsk]

I guess I just wonder more than anything why *he* doesn't want to be around her.

Why *he* chose to move 8 hours away from this precious little girl.

Why that #$!@% and *her* children get the "benefit" of him.

Ellen is *his* daughter. The one that *he* cried about when I found out I was pregnant and didn't want to be. The one that *he* said he'd think about every day of his life if we didn't have her.

And now he goes and does *this* to her?

Doesn't she deserve better?

Pretty sure my gripe is done. I'm just feeling like a bad mamma tonight.

[farsk]

I guess I just wonder more than anything why *he* doesn't want to be around her.

Why *he* chose to move 8 hours away from this precious little girl.

Why that #$!@% and *her* children get the "benefit" of him.

Ellen is *his* daughter. The one that *he* cried about when I found out I was pregnant and didn't want to be. The one that *he* said he'd think about every day of his life if we didn't have her.

And now he goes and does *this* to her?

Doesn't she deserve better?

Pretty sure my gripe is done. I'm just feeling like a bad mamma tonight.

[farsk]

I guess I just wonder more than anything why *he* doesn't want to be around her.

Why *he* chose to move 8 hours away from this precious little girl.

Why that #$!@% and *her* children get the "benefit" of him.

Ellen is *his* daughter. The one that *he* cried about when I found out I was pregnant and didn't want to be. The one that *he* said he'd think about every day of his life if we didn't have her.

And now he goes and does *this* to her?

Doesn't she deserve better?

Pretty sure my gripe is done. I'm just feeling like a bad mamma tonight.

[farsk]

I guess I just wonder more than anything why *he* doesn't want to be around her.

Why *he* chose to move 8 hours away from this precious little girl.

Why that #$!@% and *her* children get the "benefit" of him.

Ellen is *his* daughter. The one that *he* cried about when I found out I was pregnant and didn't want to be. The one that *he* said he'd think about every day of his life if we didn't have her.

And now he goes and does *this* to her?

Doesn't she deserve better?

Pretty sure my gripe is done. I'm just feeling like a bad mamma tonight.

[farsk]

I guess I just wonder more than anything why *he* doesn't want to be around her.

Why *he* chose to move 8 hours away from this precious little girl.

Why that #$!@% and *her* children get the "benefit" of him.

Ellen is *his* daughter. The one that *he* cried about when I found out I was pregnant and didn't want to be. The one that *he* said he'd think about every day of his life if we didn't have her.

And now he goes and does *this* to her?

Doesn't she deserve better?

Pretty sure my gripe is done. I'm just feeling like a bad mamma tonight.

[farsk]

I guess I just wonder more than anything why *he* doesn't want to be around her.

Why *he* chose to move 8 hours away from this precious little girl.

Why that #$!@% and *her* children get the "benefit" of him.

Ellen is *his* daughter. The one that *he* cried about when I found out I was pregnant and didn't want to be. The one that *he* said he'd think about every day of his life if we didn't have her.

And now he goes and does *this* to her?

Doesn't she deserve better?

Pretty sure my gripe is done. I'm just feeling like a bad mamma tonight.

[farsk]

I guess I just wonder more than anything why *he* doesn't want to be around her.

Why *he* chose to move 8 hours away from this precious little girl.

Why that #$!@% and *her* children get the "benefit" of him.

Ellen is *his* daughter. The one that *he* cried about when I found out I was pregnant and didn't want to be. The one that *he* said he'd think about every day of his life if we didn't have her.

And now he goes and does *this* to her?

Doesn't she deserve better?

Pretty sure my gripe is done. I'm just feeling like a bad mamma tonight.

[farsk]

I guess I just wonder more than anything why *he* doesn't want to be around her.

Why *he* chose to move 8 hours away from this precious little girl.

Why that #$!@% and *her* children get the "benefit" of him.

Ellen is *his* daughter. The one that *he* cried about when I found out I was pregnant and didn't want to be. The one that *he* said he'd think about every day of his life if we didn't have her.

And now he goes and does *this* to her?

Doesn't she deserve better?

Pretty sure my gripe is done. I'm just feeling like a bad mamma tonight.

[stella]

ooohhh Shannon, I am so sorry...
It sounds like she has some good male influences - none of them will be exactly like a daddy - even her own daddy (from what you have said), but she has enough men who love her that she is not totally without male attention.

Plus, there is a lot of time left in her growing up. There is plenty of time...just enjoy her and be glad you don't have to share her more than you do.

{{hugs}}

[stella]

ooohhh Shannon, I am so sorry...
It sounds like she has some good male influences - none of them will be exactly like a daddy - even her own daddy (from what you have said), but she has enough men who love her that she is not totally without male attention.

Plus, there is a lot of time left in her growing up. There is plenty of time...just enjoy her and be glad you don't have to share her more than you do.

{{hugs}}

[stella]

ooohhh Shannon, I am so sorry...
It sounds like she has some good male influences - none of them will be exactly like a daddy - even her own daddy (from what you have said), but she has enough men who love her that she is not totally without male attention.

Plus, there is a lot of time left in her growing up. There is plenty of time...just enjoy her and be glad you don't have to share her more than you do.

{{hugs}}

[stella]

ooohhh Shannon, I am so sorry...
It sounds like she has some good male influences - none of them will be exactly like a daddy - even her own daddy (from what you have said), but she has enough men who love her that she is not totally without male attention.

Plus, there is a lot of time left in her growing up. There is plenty of time...just enjoy her and be glad you don't have to share her more than you do.

{{hugs}}

[stella]

ooohhh Shannon, I am so sorry...
It sounds like she has some good male influences - none of them will be exactly like a daddy - even her own daddy (from what you have said), but she has enough men who love her that she is not totally without male attention.

Plus, there is a lot of time left in her growing up. There is plenty of time...just enjoy her and be glad you don't have to share her more than you do.

{{hugs}}

[stella]

ooohhh Shannon, I am so sorry...
It sounds like she has some good male influences - none of them will be exactly like a daddy - even her own daddy (from what you have said), but she has enough men who love her that she is not totally without male attention.

Plus, there is a lot of time left in her growing up. There is plenty of time...just enjoy her and be glad you don't have to share her more than you do.

{{hugs}}

[stella]

ooohhh Shannon, I am so sorry...
It sounds like she has some good male influences - none of them will be exactly like a daddy - even her own daddy (from what you have said), but she has enough men who love her that she is not totally without male attention.

Plus, there is a lot of time left in her growing up. There is plenty of time...just enjoy her and be glad you don't have to share her more than you do.

{{hugs}}

[stella]

ooohhh Shannon, I am so sorry...
It sounds like she has some good male influences - none of them will be exactly like a daddy - even her own daddy (from what you have said), but she has enough men who love her that she is not totally without male attention.

Plus, there is a lot of time left in her growing up. There is plenty of time...just enjoy her and be glad you don't have to share her more than you do.

{{hugs}}

[stella]

ooohhh Shannon, I am so sorry...
It sounds like she has some good male influences - none of them will be exactly like a daddy - even her own daddy (from what you have said), but she has enough men who love her that she is not totally without male attention.

Plus, there is a lot of time left in her growing up. There is plenty of time...just enjoy her and be glad you don't have to share her more than you do.

{{hugs}}

[abigailsmom]

Take it from me... the road is sometimes bleak and bumpy, but you have already shown that you are a strong, capable woman!!!!!!!

You are setting a beautiful example of strength and courage for your daughter. She will learn from you and she will know that she has a wonderful Mom who loves her.

Mope away, but take comfort in your strength and a pint of yummy ice cream or a box of brownies!!! (Chocolate always helps when I am premenstrual!!!)

[abigailsmom]

Take it from me... the road is sometimes bleak and bumpy, but you have already shown that you are a strong, capable woman!!!!!!!

You are setting a beautiful example of strength and courage for your daughter. She will learn from you and she will know that she has a wonderful Mom who loves her.

Mope away, but take comfort in your strength and a pint of yummy ice cream or a box of brownies!!! (Chocolate always helps when I am premenstrual!!!)

[abigailsmom]

Take it from me... the road is sometimes bleak and bumpy, but you have already shown that you are a strong, capable woman!!!!!!!

You are setting a beautiful example of strength and courage for your daughter. She will learn from you and she will know that she has a wonderful Mom who loves her.

Mope away, but take comfort in your strength and a pint of yummy ice cream or a box of brownies!!! (Chocolate always helps when I am premenstrual!!!)

[abigailsmom]

Take it from me... the road is sometimes bleak and bumpy, but you have already shown that you are a strong, capable woman!!!!!!!

You are setting a beautiful example of strength and courage for your daughter. She will learn from you and she will know that she has a wonderful Mom who loves her.

Mope away, but take comfort in your strength and a pint of yummy ice cream or a box of brownies!!! (Chocolate always helps when I am premenstrual!!!)

[abigailsmom]

Take it from me... the road is sometimes bleak and bumpy, but you have already shown that you are a strong, capable woman!!!!!!!

You are setting a beautiful example of strength and courage for your daughter. She will learn from you and she will know that she has a wonderful Mom who loves her.

Mope away, but take comfort in your strength and a pint of yummy ice cream or a box of brownies!!! (Chocolate always helps when I am premenstrual!!!)

[abigailsmom]

Take it from me... the road is sometimes bleak and bumpy, but you have already shown that you are a strong, capable woman!!!!!!!

You are setting a beautiful example of strength and courage for your daughter. She will learn from you and she will know that she has a wonderful Mom who loves her.

Mope away, but take comfort in your strength and a pint of yummy ice cream or a box of brownies!!! (Chocolate always helps when I am premenstrual!!!)

[abigailsmom]

Take it from me... the road is sometimes bleak and bumpy, but you have already shown that you are a strong, capable woman!!!!!!!

You are setting a beautiful example of strength and courage for your daughter. She will learn from you and she will know that she has a wonderful Mom who loves her.

Mope away, but take comfort in your strength and a pint of yummy ice cream or a box of brownies!!! (Chocolate always helps when I am premenstrual!!!)

[abigailsmom]

Take it from me... the road is sometimes bleak and bumpy, but you have already shown that you are a strong, capable woman!!!!!!!

You are setting a beautiful example of strength and courage for your daughter. She will learn from you and she will know that she has a wonderful Mom who loves her.

Mope away, but take comfort in your strength and a pint of yummy ice cream or a box of brownies!!! (Chocolate always helps when I am premenstrual!!!)

[abigailsmom]

Take it from me... the road is sometimes bleak and bumpy, but you have already shown that you are a strong, capable woman!!!!!!!

You are setting a beautiful example of strength and courage for your daughter. She will learn from you and she will know that she has a wonderful Mom who loves her.

Mope away, but take comfort in your strength and a pint of yummy ice cream or a box of brownies!!! (Chocolate always helps when I am premenstrual!!!)

[alexsmommy]

You have NO REASON to feel like a bad mamma. You are not him. You didn't do anything except love someone who was too stupid to love you the way you deserve. That's not doing something wrong. Go ahead, feel bad for Ellen, eat fattening food, drink alcoholic beverages, cry, scream, do what you need to do while your sweet daughter is sleeping - but DO NOT blame yourself. Ellen does deserve better - and you are giving it to her. Take care of yourself.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

You have NO REASON to feel like a bad mamma. You are not him. You didn't do anything except love someone who was too stupid to love you the way you deserve. That's not doing something wrong. Go ahead, feel bad for Ellen, eat fattening food, drink alcoholic beverages, cry, scream, do what you need to do while your sweet daughter is sleeping - but DO NOT blame yourself. Ellen does deserve better - and you are giving it to her. Take care of yourself.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

You have NO REASON to feel like a bad mamma. You are not him. You didn't do anything except love someone who was too stupid to love you the way you deserve. That's not doing something wrong. Go ahead, feel bad for Ellen, eat fattening food, drink alcoholic beverages, cry, scream, do what you need to do while your sweet daughter is sleeping - but DO NOT blame yourself. Ellen does deserve better - and you are giving it to her. Take care of yourself.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

You have NO REASON to feel like a bad mamma. You are not him. You didn't do anything except love someone who was too stupid to love you the way you deserve. That's not doing something wrong. Go ahead, feel bad for Ellen, eat fattening food, drink alcoholic beverages, cry, scream, do what you need to do while your sweet daughter is sleeping - but DO NOT blame yourself. Ellen does deserve better - and you are giving it to her. Take care of yourself.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

You have NO REASON to feel like a bad mamma. You are not him. You didn't do anything except love someone who was too stupid to love you the way you deserve. That's not doing something wrong. Go ahead, feel bad for Ellen, eat fattening food, drink alcoholic beverages, cry, scream, do what you need to do while your sweet daughter is sleeping - but DO NOT blame yourself. Ellen does deserve better - and you are giving it to her. Take care of yourself.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

You have NO REASON to feel like a bad mamma. You are not him. You didn't do anything except love someone who was too stupid to love you the way you deserve. That's not doing something wrong. Go ahead, feel bad for Ellen, eat fattening food, drink alcoholic beverages, cry, scream, do what you need to do while your sweet daughter is sleeping - but DO NOT blame yourself. Ellen does deserve better - and you are giving it to her. Take care of yourself.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

You have NO REASON to feel like a bad mamma. You are not him. You didn't do anything except love someone who was too stupid to love you the way you deserve. That's not doing something wrong. Go ahead, feel bad for Ellen, eat fattening food, drink alcoholic beverages, cry, scream, do what you need to do while your sweet daughter is sleeping - but DO NOT blame yourself. Ellen does deserve better - and you are giving it to her. Take care of yourself.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

You have NO REASON to feel like a bad mamma. You are not him. You didn't do anything except love someone who was too stupid to love you the way you deserve. That's not doing something wrong. Go ahead, feel bad for Ellen, eat fattening food, drink alcoholic beverages, cry, scream, do what you need to do while your sweet daughter is sleeping - but DO NOT blame yourself. Ellen does deserve better - and you are giving it to her. Take care of yourself.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[alexsmommy]

You have NO REASON to feel like a bad mamma. You are not him. You didn't do anything except love someone who was too stupid to love you the way you deserve. That's not doing something wrong. Go ahead, feel bad for Ellen, eat fattening food, drink alcoholic beverages, cry, scream, do what you need to do while your sweet daughter is sleeping - but DO NOT blame yourself. Ellen does deserve better - and you are giving it to her. Take care of yourself.
Alaina
Alex Feb '03

[ribbit1019]

Hugs mama! It will be o.k. Ellen has a wonderful loving strong parent to model herself after. Don't think about what she is missing, think about what she is gaining from having such an excellent parent to be around all the time.

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy 6/9/04
http://b3.lilypie.com/nlacm4/.png
& Jarred 3/8/06, 14 lb 24 1/2" @ 10 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
http://b1.lilypie.com/KH1pm5/.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/steitzsmith/Other/jump.gif

[ribbit1019]

Hugs mama! It will be o.k. Ellen has a wonderful loving strong parent to model herself after. Don't think about what she is missing, think about what she is gaining from having such an excellent parent to be around all the time.

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy 6/9/04
http://b3.lilypie.com/nlacm4/.png
& Jarred 3/8/06, 14 lb 24 1/2" @ 10 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
http://b1.lilypie.com/KH1pm5/.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/steitzsmith/Other/jump.gif

[ribbit1019]

Hugs mama! It will be o.k. Ellen has a wonderful loving strong parent to model herself after. Don't think about what she is missing, think about what she is gaining from having such an excellent parent to be around all the time.

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy 6/9/04
http://b3.lilypie.com/nlacm4/.png
& Jarred 3/8/06, 14 lb 24 1/2" @ 10 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
http://b1.lilypie.com/KH1pm5/.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/steitzsmith/Other/jump.gif

[ribbit1019]

Hugs mama! It will be o.k. Ellen has a wonderful loving strong parent to model herself after. Don't think about what she is missing, think about what she is gaining from having such an excellent parent to be around all the time.

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy 6/9/04
http://b3.lilypie.com/nlacm4/.png
& Jarred 3/8/06, 14 lb 24 1/2" @ 10 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
http://b1.lilypie.com/KH1pm5/.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/steitzsmith/Other/jump.gif

[ribbit1019]

Hugs mama! It will be o.k. Ellen has a wonderful loving strong parent to model herself after. Don't think about what she is missing, think about what she is gaining from having such an excellent parent to be around all the time.

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy 6/9/04
http://b3.lilypie.com/nlacm4/.png
& Jarred 3/8/06, 14 lb 24 1/2" @ 10 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
http://b1.lilypie.com/KH1pm5/.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/steitzsmith/Other/jump.gif

[ribbit1019]

Hugs mama! It will be o.k. Ellen has a wonderful loving strong parent to model herself after. Don't think about what she is missing, think about what she is gaining from having such an excellent parent to be around all the time.

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy 6/9/04
http://b3.lilypie.com/nlacm4/.png
& Jarred 3/8/06, 14 lb 24 1/2" @ 10 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
http://b1.lilypie.com/KH1pm5/.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/steitzsmith/Other/jump.gif

[ribbit1019]

Hugs mama! It will be o.k. Ellen has a wonderful loving strong parent to model herself after. Don't think about what she is missing, think about what she is gaining from having such an excellent parent to be around all the time.

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy 6/9/04
http://b3.lilypie.com/nlacm4/.png
& Jarred 3/8/06, 14 lb 24 1/2" @ 10 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
http://b1.lilypie.com/KH1pm5/.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/steitzsmith/Other/jump.gif

[ribbit1019]

Hugs mama! It will be o.k. Ellen has a wonderful loving strong parent to model herself after. Don't think about what she is missing, think about what she is gaining from having such an excellent parent to be around all the time.

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy 6/9/04
http://b3.lilypie.com/nlacm4/.png
& Jarred 3/8/06, 14 lb 24 1/2" @ 10 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
http://b1.lilypie.com/KH1pm5/.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/steitzsmith/Other/jump.gif

[ribbit1019]

Hugs mama! It will be o.k. Ellen has a wonderful loving strong parent to model herself after. Don't think about what she is missing, think about what she is gaining from having such an excellent parent to be around all the time.

Christy
My Waterbabies
Maddy 6/9/04
http://b3.lilypie.com/nlacm4/.png
& Jarred 3/8/06, 14 lb 24 1/2" @ 10 wks, a happily breastfed babe.
http://b1.lilypie.com/KH1pm5/.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/steitzsmith/Other/jump.gif

[Saartje]

Shannon, I'm probably repeating something you've been asked a billion times already, but are you seeing a therapist? You sound like having a neutral person to talk with, someone with a little distance from your situation, would be a great boon to you. I know it's expensive, but it's so worth it at times like this.

That aside... I know how you're feeling right now. I really, really do. My own *H just moved out of state, and I'm struggling with understanding how he can choose to move away from his child. I just don't get it.

Don't worry about her not having a single male role model right away, though. You'll find someone in the fullness of time, but in the meantime Ellen is not going to be harmed. She'll be all right, and so will you. Don't try to force a relationship (whether with another man, or with your parent/stepparent/etc) because you feel afraid on that point.

[Saartje]

Shannon, I'm probably repeating something you've been asked a billion times already, but are you seeing a therapist? You sound like having a neutral person to talk with, someone with a little distance from your situation, would be a great boon to you. I know it's expensive, but it's so worth it at times like this.

That aside... I know how you're feeling right now. I really, really do. My own *H just moved out of state, and I'm struggling with understanding how he can choose to move away from his child. I just don't get it.

Don't worry about her not having a single male role model right away, though. You'll find someone in the fullness of time, but in the meantime Ellen is not going to be harmed. She'll be all right, and so will you. Don't try to force a relationship (whether with another man, or with your parent/stepparent/etc) because you feel afraid on that point.

[Saartje]

Shannon, I'm probably repeating something you've been asked a billion times already, but are you seeing a therapist? You sound like having a neutral person to talk with, someone with a little distance from your situation, would be a great boon to you. I know it's expensive, but it's so worth it at times like this.

That aside... I know how you're feeling right now. I really, really do. My own *H just moved out of state, and I'm struggling with understanding how he can choose to move away from his child. I just don't get it.

Don't worry about her not having a single male role model right away, though. You'll find someone in the fullness of time, but in the meantime Ellen is not going to be harmed. She'll be all right, and so will you. Don't try to force a relationship (whether with another man, or with your parent/stepparent/etc) because you feel afraid on that point.

[Saartje]

Shannon, I'm probably repeating something you've been asked a billion times already, but are you seeing a therapist? You sound like having a neutral person to talk with, someone with a little distance from your situation, would be a great boon to you. I know it's expensive, but it's so worth it at times like this.

That aside... I know how you're feeling right now. I really, really do. My own *H just moved out of state, and I'm struggling with understanding how he can choose to move away from his child. I just don't get it.

Don't worry about her not having a single male role model right away, though. You'll find someone in the fullness of time, but in the meantime Ellen is not going to be harmed. She'll be all right, and so will you. Don't try to force a relationship (whether with another man, or with your parent/stepparent/etc) because you feel afraid on that point.

[Saartje]

Shannon, I'm probably repeating something you've been asked a billion times already, but are you seeing a therapist? You sound like having a neutral person to talk with, someone with a little distance from your situation, would be a great boon to you. I know it's expensive, but it's so worth it at times like this.

That aside... I know how you're feeling right now. I really, really do. My own *H just moved out of state, and I'm struggling with understanding how he can choose to move away from his child. I just don't get it.

Don't worry about her not having a single male role model right away, though. You'll find someone in the fullness of time, but in the meantime Ellen is not going to be harmed. She'll be all right, and so will you. Don't try to force a relationship (whether with another man, or with your parent/stepparent/etc) because you feel afraid on that point.

[Saartje]

Shannon, I'm probably repeating something you've been asked a billion times already, but are you seeing a therapist? You sound like having a neutral person to talk with, someone with a little distance from your situation, would be a great boon to you. I know it's expensive, but it's so worth it at times like this.

That aside... I know how you're feeling right now. I really, really do. My own *H just moved out of state, and I'm struggling with understanding how he can choose to move away from his child. I just don't get it.

Don't worry about her not having a single male role model right away, though. You'll find someone in the fullness of time, but in the meantime Ellen is not going to be harmed. She'll be all right, and so will you. Don't try to force a relationship (whether with another man, or with your parent/stepparent/etc) because you feel afraid on that point.

[Saartje]

Shannon, I'm probably repeating something you've been asked a billion times already, but are you seeing a therapist? You sound like having a neutral person to talk with, someone with a little distance from your situation, would be a great boon to you. I know it's expensive, but it's so worth it at times like this.

That aside... I know how you're feeling right now. I really, really do. My own *H just moved out of state, and I'm struggling with understanding how he can choose to move away from his child. I just don't get it.

Don't worry about her not having a single male role model right away, though. You'll find someone in the fullness of time, but in the meantime Ellen is not going to be harmed. She'll be all right, and so will you. Don't try to force a relationship (whether with another man, or with your parent/stepparent/etc) because you feel afraid on that point.

[Saartje]

Shannon, I'm probably repeating something you've been asked a billion times already, but are you seeing a therapist? You sound like having a neutral person to talk with, someone with a little distance from your situation, would be a great boon to you. I know it's expensive, but it's so worth it at times like this.

That aside... I know how you're feeling right now. I really, really do. My own *H just moved out of state, and I'm struggling with understanding how he can choose to move away from his child. I just don't get it.

Don't worry about her not having a single male role model right away, though. You'll find someone in the fullness of time, but in the meantime Ellen is not going to be harmed. She'll be all right, and so will you. Don't try to force a relationship (whether with another man, or with your parent/stepparent/etc) because you feel afraid on that point.

[Saartje]

Shannon, I'm probably repeating something you've been asked a billion times already, but are you seeing a therapist? You sound like having a neutral person to talk with, someone with a little distance from your situation, would be a great boon to you. I know it's expensive, but it's so worth it at times like this.

That aside... I know how you're feeling right now. I really, really do. My own *H just moved out of state, and I'm struggling with understanding how he can choose to move away from his child. I just don't get it.

Don't worry about her not having a single male role model right away, though. You'll find someone in the fullness of time, but in the meantime Ellen is not going to be harmed. She'll be all right, and so will you. Don't try to force a relationship (whether with another man, or with your parent/stepparent/etc) because you feel afraid on that point.

[Melanie]

I'm sorry.

"How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?"

I will never get it either, but it doesn't seem to be a rarity.

[Melanie]

I'm sorry.

"How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?"

I will never get it either, but it doesn't seem to be a rarity.

[Melanie]

I'm sorry.

"How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?"

I will never get it either, but it doesn't seem to be a rarity.

[Melanie]

I'm sorry.

"How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?"

I will never get it either, but it doesn't seem to be a rarity.

[Melanie]

I'm sorry.

"How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?"

I will never get it either, but it doesn't seem to be a rarity.

[Melanie]

I'm sorry.

"How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?"

I will never get it either, but it doesn't seem to be a rarity.

[Melanie]

I'm sorry.

"How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?"

I will never get it either, but it doesn't seem to be a rarity.

[Melanie]

I'm sorry.

"How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?"

I will never get it either, but it doesn't seem to be a rarity.

[Melanie]

I'm sorry.

"How can any man who dares to call himself a father do that? HOW?"

I will never get it either, but it doesn't seem to be a rarity.

[farsk]

I do see someone for "tune-ups" when I'm feeling particular mommy guilt or when I need adjusting.

Everything has been going so well lately, and this morning, after a good nights sleep, I feel much better. I realize that it is *he* who is failing at providing a male role model, not me.

Still....just like y'all, I want Ellen to have the benefit of the best experiences life has to offer.

I will be OK (my mantra). Ellen is a happy and well adjusted little girl and her teachers comment constantly on her imagination, compassion, and intellegence.

Thanks y'all. I needed a boost.

[farsk]

I do see someone for "tune-ups" when I'm feeling particular mommy guilt or when I need adjusting.

Everything has been going so well lately, and this morning, after a good nights sleep, I feel much better. I realize that it is *he* who is failing at providing a male role model, not me.

Still....just like y'all, I want Ellen to have the benefit of the best experiences life has to offer.

I will be OK (my mantra). Ellen is a happy and well adjusted little girl and her teachers comment constantly on her imagination, compassion, and intellegence.

Thanks y'all. I needed a boost.

[farsk]

I do see someone for "tune-ups" when I'm feeling particular mommy guilt or when I need adjusting.

Everything has been going so well lately, and this morning, after a good nights sleep, I feel much better. I realize that it is *he* who is failing at providing a male role model, not me.

Still....just like y'all, I want Ellen to have the benefit of the best experiences life has to offer.

I will be OK (my mantra). Ellen is a happy and well adjusted little girl and her teachers comment constantly on her imagination, compassion, and intellegence.

Thanks y'all. I needed a boost.

[farsk]

I do see someone for "tune-ups" when I'm feeling particular mommy guilt or when I need adjusting.

Everything has been going so well lately, and this morning, after a good nights sleep, I feel much better. I realize that it is *he* who is failing at providing a male role model, not me.

Still....just like y'all, I want Ellen to have the benefit of the best experiences life has to offer.

I will be OK (my mantra). Ellen is a happy and well adjusted little girl and her teachers comment constantly on her imagination, compassion, and intellegence.

Thanks y'all. I needed a boost.

[farsk]

I do see someone for "tune-ups" when I'm feeling particular mommy guilt or when I need adjusting.

Everything has been going so well lately, and this morning, after a good nights sleep, I feel much better. I realize that it is *he* who is failing at providing a male role model, not me.

Still....just like y'all, I want Ellen to have the benefit of the best experiences life has to offer.

I will be OK (my mantra). Ellen is a happy and well adjusted little girl and her teachers comment constantly on her imagination, compassion, and intellegence.

Thanks y'all. I needed a boost.

[farsk]

I do see someone for "tune-ups" when I'm feeling particular mommy guilt or when I need adjusting.

Everything has been going so well lately, and this morning, after a good nights sleep, I feel much better. I realize that it is *he* who is failing at providing a male role model, not me.

Still....just like y'all, I want Ellen to have the benefit of the best experiences life has to offer.

I will be OK (my mantra). Ellen is a happy and well adjusted little girl and her teachers comment constantly on her imagination, compassion, and intellegence.

Thanks y'all. I needed a boost.

[farsk]

I do see someone for "tune-ups" when I'm feeling particular mommy guilt or when I need adjusting.

Everything has been going so well lately, and this morning, after a good nights sleep, I feel much better. I realize that it is *he* who is failing at providing a male role model, not me.

Still....just like y'all, I want Ellen to have the benefit of the best experiences life has to offer.

I will be OK (my mantra). Ellen is a happy and well adjusted little girl and her teachers comment constantly on her imagination, compassion, and intellegence.

Thanks y'all. I needed a boost.

[farsk]

I do see someone for "tune-ups" when I'm feeling particular mommy guilt or when I need adjusting.

Everything has been going so well lately, and this morning, after a good nights sleep, I feel much better. I realize that it is *he* who is failing at providing a male role model, not me.

Still....just like y'all, I want Ellen to have the benefit of the best experiences life has to offer.

I will be OK (my mantra). Ellen is a happy and well adjusted little girl and her teachers comment constantly on her imagination, compassion, and intellegence.

Thanks y'all. I needed a boost.

[farsk]

I do see someone for "tune-ups" when I'm feeling particular mommy guilt or when I need adjusting.

Everything has been going so well lately, and this morning, after a good nights sleep, I feel much better. I realize that it is *he* who is failing at providing a male role model, not me.

Still....just like y'all, I want Ellen to have the benefit of the best experiences life has to offer.

I will be OK (my mantra). Ellen is a happy and well adjusted little girl and her teachers comment constantly on her imagination, compassion, and intellegence.

Thanks y'all. I needed a boost.

[KBecks]

Ellen is awfully lucky to have you.

A male influence is helpful, but I wouldn't worry about missing that *right now*.... over time there will be other people (men and women) who will be great mentors and role models for her.

It sucks that your XH isn't coming, but perhaps that's a blessing in disguise.

[KBecks]

Ellen is awfully lucky to have you.

A male influence is helpful, but I wouldn't worry about missing that *right now*.... over time there will be other people (men and women) who will be great mentors and role models for her.

It sucks that your XH isn't coming, but perhaps that's a blessing in disguise.

[KBecks]

Ellen is awfully lucky to have you.

A male influence is helpful, but I wouldn't worry about missing that *right now*.... over time there will be other people (men and women) who will be great mentors and role models for her.

It sucks that your XH isn't coming, but perhaps that's a blessing in disguise.

[KBecks]

Ellen is awfully lucky to have you.

A male influence is helpful, but I wouldn't worry about missing that *right now*.... over time there will be other people (men and women) who will be great mentors and role models for her.

It sucks that your XH isn't coming, but perhaps that's a blessing in disguise.

[KBecks]

Ellen is awfully lucky to have you.

A male influence is helpful, but I wouldn't worry about missing that *right now*.... over time there will be other people (men and women) who will be great mentors and role models for her.

It sucks that your XH isn't coming, but perhaps that's a blessing in disguise.

[KBecks]

Ellen is awfully lucky to have you.

A male influence is helpful, but I wouldn't worry about missing that *right now*.... over time there will be other people (men and women) who will be great mentors and role models for her.

It sucks that your XH isn't coming, but perhaps that's a blessing in disguise.

[KBecks]

Ellen is awfully lucky to have you.

A male influence is helpful, but I wouldn't worry about missing that *right now*.... over time there will be other people (men and women) who will be great mentors and role models for her.

It sucks that your XH isn't coming, but perhaps that's a blessing in disguise.

[KBecks]

Ellen is awfully lucky to have you.

A male influence is helpful, but I wouldn't worry about missing that *right now*.... over time there will be other people (men and women) who will be great mentors and role models for her.

It sucks that your XH isn't coming, but perhaps that's a blessing in disguise.

[KBecks]

Ellen is awfully lucky to have you.

A male influence is helpful, but I wouldn't worry about missing that *right now*.... over time there will be other people (men and women) who will be great mentors and role models for her.

It sucks that your XH isn't coming, but perhaps that's a blessing in disguise.

[missym]

Shannon, I hope you know that you are not a failure in any sense. Ellen is growing up with the love of a devoted, involved parent. She is luckier than many kids in this world.

As for the male influence, I agree that it is important. But even if you never remarry (I think you will find someone wonderful, but for the sake of argument), Ellen will be fine. My father was either absent or abusive while I was growing up. Thankfully, he left when I was 14. My mom raised four daughters with very little help. We weren't close to my uncles, so my grandfather was really the only male influence in our lives. It was hard work for my mom, but we turned out fine. I married the best man I've ever met, and my FIL is a wonderful Dad to me.

Ellen will be fine. She's lucky to have you.


Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

** Want a penpal for your BBB kiddo? Send an email to:
[email protected] **

[missym]

Shannon, I hope you know that you are not a failure in any sense. Ellen is growing up with the love of a devoted, involved parent. She is luckier than many kids in this world.

As for the male influence, I agree that it is important. But even if you never remarry (I think you will find someone wonderful, but for the sake of argument), Ellen will be fine. My father was either absent or abusive while I was growing up. Thankfully, he left when I was 14. My mom raised four daughters with very little help. We weren't close to my uncles, so my grandfather was really the only male influence in our lives. It was hard work for my mom, but we turned out fine. I married the best man I've ever met, and my FIL is a wonderful Dad to me.

Ellen will be fine. She's lucky to have you.


Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

** Want a penpal for your BBB kiddo? Send an email to:
[email protected] **

[missym]

Shannon, I hope you know that you are not a failure in any sense. Ellen is growing up with the love of a devoted, involved parent. She is luckier than many kids in this world.

As for the male influence, I agree that it is important. But even if you never remarry (I think you will find someone wonderful, but for the sake of argument), Ellen will be fine. My father was either absent or abusive while I was growing up. Thankfully, he left when I was 14. My mom raised four daughters with very little help. We weren't close to my uncles, so my grandfather was really the only male influence in our lives. It was hard work for my mom, but we turned out fine. I married the best man I've ever met, and my FIL is a wonderful Dad to me.

Ellen will be fine. She's lucky to have you.


Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

** Want a penpal for your BBB kiddo? Send an email to:
[email protected] **

[missym]

Shannon, I hope you know that you are not a failure in any sense. Ellen is growing up with the love of a devoted, involved parent. She is luckier than many kids in this world.

As for the male influence, I agree that it is important. But even if you never remarry (I think you will find someone wonderful, but for the sake of argument), Ellen will be fine. My father was either absent or abusive while I was growing up. Thankfully, he left when I was 14. My mom raised four daughters with very little help. We weren't close to my uncles, so my grandfather was really the only male influence in our lives. It was hard work for my mom, but we turned out fine. I married the best man I've ever met, and my FIL is a wonderful Dad to me.

Ellen will be fine. She's lucky to have you.


Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

** Want a penpal for your BBB kiddo? Send an email to:
[email protected] **

[missym]

Shannon, I hope you know that you are not a failure in any sense. Ellen is growing up with the love of a devoted, involved parent. She is luckier than many kids in this world.

As for the male influence, I agree that it is important. But even if you never remarry (I think you will find someone wonderful, but for the sake of argument), Ellen will be fine. My father was either absent or abusive while I was growing up. Thankfully, he left when I was 14. My mom raised four daughters with very little help. We weren't close to my uncles, so my grandfather was really the only male influence in our lives. It was hard work for my mom, but we turned out fine. I married the best man I've ever met, and my FIL is a wonderful Dad to me.

Ellen will be fine. She's lucky to have you.


Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

** Want a penpal for your BBB kiddo? Send an email to:
[email protected] **

[missym]

Shannon, I hope you know that you are not a failure in any sense. Ellen is growing up with the love of a devoted, involved parent. She is luckier than many kids in this world.

As for the male influence, I agree that it is important. But even if you never remarry (I think you will find someone wonderful, but for the sake of argument), Ellen will be fine. My father was either absent or abusive while I was growing up. Thankfully, he left when I was 14. My mom raised four daughters with very little help. We weren't close to my uncles, so my grandfather was really the only male influence in our lives. It was hard work for my mom, but we turned out fine. I married the best man I've ever met, and my FIL is a wonderful Dad to me.

Ellen will be fine. She's lucky to have you.


Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

** Want a penpal for your BBB kiddo? Send an email to:
[email protected] **

[missym]

Shannon, I hope you know that you are not a failure in any sense. Ellen is growing up with the love of a devoted, involved parent. She is luckier than many kids in this world.

As for the male influence, I agree that it is important. But even if you never remarry (I think you will find someone wonderful, but for the sake of argument), Ellen will be fine. My father was either absent or abusive while I was growing up. Thankfully, he left when I was 14. My mom raised four daughters with very little help. We weren't close to my uncles, so my grandfather was really the only male influence in our lives. It was hard work for my mom, but we turned out fine. I married the best man I've ever met, and my FIL is a wonderful Dad to me.

Ellen will be fine. She's lucky to have you.


Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

** Want a penpal for your BBB kiddo? Send an email to:
[email protected] **

[missym]

Shannon, I hope you know that you are not a failure in any sense. Ellen is growing up with the love of a devoted, involved parent. She is luckier than many kids in this world.

As for the male influence, I agree that it is important. But even if you never remarry (I think you will find someone wonderful, but for the sake of argument), Ellen will be fine. My father was either absent or abusive while I was growing up. Thankfully, he left when I was 14. My mom raised four daughters with very little help. We weren't close to my uncles, so my grandfather was really the only male influence in our lives. It was hard work for my mom, but we turned out fine. I married the best man I've ever met, and my FIL is a wonderful Dad to me.

Ellen will be fine. She's lucky to have you.


Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

** Want a penpal for your BBB kiddo? Send an email to:
[email protected] **

[missym]

Shannon, I hope you know that you are not a failure in any sense. Ellen is growing up with the love of a devoted, involved parent. She is luckier than many kids in this world.

As for the male influence, I agree that it is important. But even if you never remarry (I think you will find someone wonderful, but for the sake of argument), Ellen will be fine. My father was either absent or abusive while I was growing up. Thankfully, he left when I was 14. My mom raised four daughters with very little help. We weren't close to my uncles, so my grandfather was really the only male influence in our lives. It was hard work for my mom, but we turned out fine. I married the best man I've ever met, and my FIL is a wonderful Dad to me.

Ellen will be fine. She's lucky to have you.


Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

** Want a penpal for your BBB kiddo? Send an email to:
[email protected] **

[Jenn98]

Shannon,
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It does suck. There's no way around it. BUT, you cannot control your XH. You cannot force a relationship with him and his daughter. The only thing you can do is try to protect her feelings. And always leave the door open for him to continue his relationship with her.

From a daughter's perspective, it does hurt. And my mom and dad are still married (although I hope for not too much longer). I have always known as I was growing up that I was not a priority to my father. But I was to my mom. And I'm so close with her now. In fact, she was my maitron of honor at my wedding. Anyway, my dad has made strides over the last few years, but I'm still not very close to him, at all.

Sorry if this is rambling. I just wanted to let you know that there isn't anything you can do. That sucks, too. As moms we want nothing more than to protect our little ones, but you don't have much control over this one.

When I was little I never asked why my dad didn't come to my recitals, swim meets, school plays, etc. I just knew. He was at work. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess I wouldn't bad mouth XH, and I wouldn't make excuses, either. I'd let DD call him and invite him to things and then let XH explain why he can't come. I know Ellen isn't old enough yet to do that. But it's a thought.

And as terrible as it sounds, maybe Ellen is better off without his influence if he's not going to be a good one. We all want to surround our kids with people who love them dearly, but if XH can't do that then maybe it's okay for him to back off for awhile.

There aren't any easy answers. And I'm sorry you're going through this. (((((HUGS))))) to you and Ellen.

[Jenn98]

Shannon,
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It does suck. There's no way around it. BUT, you cannot control your XH. You cannot force a relationship with him and his daughter. The only thing you can do is try to protect her feelings. And always leave the door open for him to continue his relationship with her.

From a daughter's perspective, it does hurt. And my mom and dad are still married (although I hope for not too much longer). I have always known as I was growing up that I was not a priority to my father. But I was to my mom. And I'm so close with her now. In fact, she was my maitron of honor at my wedding. Anyway, my dad has made strides over the last few years, but I'm still not very close to him, at all.

Sorry if this is rambling. I just wanted to let you know that there isn't anything you can do. That sucks, too. As moms we want nothing more than to protect our little ones, but you don't have much control over this one.

When I was little I never asked why my dad didn't come to my recitals, swim meets, school plays, etc. I just knew. He was at work. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess I wouldn't bad mouth XH, and I wouldn't make excuses, either. I'd let DD call him and invite him to things and then let XH explain why he can't come. I know Ellen isn't old enough yet to do that. But it's a thought.

And as terrible as it sounds, maybe Ellen is better off without his influence if he's not going to be a good one. We all want to surround our kids with people who love them dearly, but if XH can't do that then maybe it's okay for him to back off for awhile.

There aren't any easy answers. And I'm sorry you're going through this. (((((HUGS))))) to you and Ellen.

[Jenn98]

Shannon,
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It does suck. There's no way around it. BUT, you cannot control your XH. You cannot force a relationship with him and his daughter. The only thing you can do is try to protect her feelings. And always leave the door open for him to continue his relationship with her.

From a daughter's perspective, it does hurt. And my mom and dad are still married (although I hope for not too much longer). I have always known as I was growing up that I was not a priority to my father. But I was to my mom. And I'm so close with her now. In fact, she was my maitron of honor at my wedding. Anyway, my dad has made strides over the last few years, but I'm still not very close to him, at all.

Sorry if this is rambling. I just wanted to let you know that there isn't anything you can do. That sucks, too. As moms we want nothing more than to protect our little ones, but you don't have much control over this one.

When I was little I never asked why my dad didn't come to my recitals, swim meets, school plays, etc. I just knew. He was at work. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess I wouldn't bad mouth XH, and I wouldn't make excuses, either. I'd let DD call him and invite him to things and then let XH explain why he can't come. I know Ellen isn't old enough yet to do that. But it's a thought.

And as terrible as it sounds, maybe Ellen is better off without his influence if he's not going to be a good one. We all want to surround our kids with people who love them dearly, but if XH can't do that then maybe it's okay for him to back off for awhile.

There aren't any easy answers. And I'm sorry you're going through this. (((((HUGS))))) to you and Ellen.

[Jenn98]

Shannon,
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It does suck. There's no way around it. BUT, you cannot control your XH. You cannot force a relationship with him and his daughter. The only thing you can do is try to protect her feelings. And always leave the door open for him to continue his relationship with her.

From a daughter's perspective, it does hurt. And my mom and dad are still married (although I hope for not too much longer). I have always known as I was growing up that I was not a priority to my father. But I was to my mom. And I'm so close with her now. In fact, she was my maitron of honor at my wedding. Anyway, my dad has made strides over the last few years, but I'm still not very close to him, at all.

Sorry if this is rambling. I just wanted to let you know that there isn't anything you can do. That sucks, too. As moms we want nothing more than to protect our little ones, but you don't have much control over this one.

When I was little I never asked why my dad didn't come to my recitals, swim meets, school plays, etc. I just knew. He was at work. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess I wouldn't bad mouth XH, and I wouldn't make excuses, either. I'd let DD call him and invite him to things and then let XH explain why he can't come. I know Ellen isn't old enough yet to do that. But it's a thought.

And as terrible as it sounds, maybe Ellen is better off without his influence if he's not going to be a good one. We all want to surround our kids with people who love them dearly, but if XH can't do that then maybe it's okay for him to back off for awhile.

There aren't any easy answers. And I'm sorry you're going through this. (((((HUGS))))) to you and Ellen.

[Jenn98]

Shannon,
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It does suck. There's no way around it. BUT, you cannot control your XH. You cannot force a relationship with him and his daughter. The only thing you can do is try to protect her feelings. And always leave the door open for him to continue his relationship with her.

From a daughter's perspective, it does hurt. And my mom and dad are still married (although I hope for not too much longer). I have always known as I was growing up that I was not a priority to my father. But I was to my mom. And I'm so close with her now. In fact, she was my maitron of honor at my wedding. Anyway, my dad has made strides over the last few years, but I'm still not very close to him, at all.

Sorry if this is rambling. I just wanted to let you know that there isn't anything you can do. That sucks, too. As moms we want nothing more than to protect our little ones, but you don't have much control over this one.

When I was little I never asked why my dad didn't come to my recitals, swim meets, school plays, etc. I just knew. He was at work. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess I wouldn't bad mouth XH, and I wouldn't make excuses, either. I'd let DD call him and invite him to things and then let XH explain why he can't come. I know Ellen isn't old enough yet to do that. But it's a thought.

And as terrible as it sounds, maybe Ellen is better off without his influence if he's not going to be a good one. We all want to surround our kids with people who love them dearly, but if XH can't do that then maybe it's okay for him to back off for awhile.

There aren't any easy answers. And I'm sorry you're going through this. (((((HUGS))))) to you and Ellen.

[Jenn98]

Shannon,
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It does suck. There's no way around it. BUT, you cannot control your XH. You cannot force a relationship with him and his daughter. The only thing you can do is try to protect her feelings. And always leave the door open for him to continue his relationship with her.

From a daughter's perspective, it does hurt. And my mom and dad are still married (although I hope for not too much longer). I have always known as I was growing up that I was not a priority to my father. But I was to my mom. And I'm so close with her now. In fact, she was my maitron of honor at my wedding. Anyway, my dad has made strides over the last few years, but I'm still not very close to him, at all.

Sorry if this is rambling. I just wanted to let you know that there isn't anything you can do. That sucks, too. As moms we want nothing more than to protect our little ones, but you don't have much control over this one.

When I was little I never asked why my dad didn't come to my recitals, swim meets, school plays, etc. I just knew. He was at work. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess I wouldn't bad mouth XH, and I wouldn't make excuses, either. I'd let DD call him and invite him to things and then let XH explain why he can't come. I know Ellen isn't old enough yet to do that. But it's a thought.

And as terrible as it sounds, maybe Ellen is better off without his influence if he's not going to be a good one. We all want to surround our kids with people who love them dearly, but if XH can't do that then maybe it's okay for him to back off for awhile.

There aren't any easy answers. And I'm sorry you're going through this. (((((HUGS))))) to you and Ellen.

[Jenn98]

Shannon,
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It does suck. There's no way around it. BUT, you cannot control your XH. You cannot force a relationship with him and his daughter. The only thing you can do is try to protect her feelings. And always leave the door open for him to continue his relationship with her.

From a daughter's perspective, it does hurt. And my mom and dad are still married (although I hope for not too much longer). I have always known as I was growing up that I was not a priority to my father. But I was to my mom. And I'm so close with her now. In fact, she was my maitron of honor at my wedding. Anyway, my dad has made strides over the last few years, but I'm still not very close to him, at all.

Sorry if this is rambling. I just wanted to let you know that there isn't anything you can do. That sucks, too. As moms we want nothing more than to protect our little ones, but you don't have much control over this one.

When I was little I never asked why my dad didn't come to my recitals, swim meets, school plays, etc. I just knew. He was at work. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess I wouldn't bad mouth XH, and I wouldn't make excuses, either. I'd let DD call him and invite him to things and then let XH explain why he can't come. I know Ellen isn't old enough yet to do that. But it's a thought.

And as terrible as it sounds, maybe Ellen is better off without his influence if he's not going to be a good one. We all want to surround our kids with people who love them dearly, but if XH can't do that then maybe it's okay for him to back off for awhile.

There aren't any easy answers. And I'm sorry you're going through this. (((((HUGS))))) to you and Ellen.

[Jenn98]

Shannon,
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It does suck. There's no way around it. BUT, you cannot control your XH. You cannot force a relationship with him and his daughter. The only thing you can do is try to protect her feelings. And always leave the door open for him to continue his relationship with her.

From a daughter's perspective, it does hurt. And my mom and dad are still married (although I hope for not too much longer). I have always known as I was growing up that I was not a priority to my father. But I was to my mom. And I'm so close with her now. In fact, she was my maitron of honor at my wedding. Anyway, my dad has made strides over the last few years, but I'm still not very close to him, at all.

Sorry if this is rambling. I just wanted to let you know that there isn't anything you can do. That sucks, too. As moms we want nothing more than to protect our little ones, but you don't have much control over this one.

When I was little I never asked why my dad didn't come to my recitals, swim meets, school plays, etc. I just knew. He was at work. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess I wouldn't bad mouth XH, and I wouldn't make excuses, either. I'd let DD call him and invite him to things and then let XH explain why he can't come. I know Ellen isn't old enough yet to do that. But it's a thought.

And as terrible as it sounds, maybe Ellen is better off without his influence if he's not going to be a good one. We all want to surround our kids with people who love them dearly, but if XH can't do that then maybe it's okay for him to back off for awhile.

There aren't any easy answers. And I'm sorry you're going through this. (((((HUGS))))) to you and Ellen.

[Jenn98]

Shannon,
I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It does suck. There's no way around it. BUT, you cannot control your XH. You cannot force a relationship with him and his daughter. The only thing you can do is try to protect her feelings. And always leave the door open for him to continue his relationship with her.

From a daughter's perspective, it does hurt. And my mom and dad are still married (although I hope for not too much longer). I have always known as I was growing up that I was not a priority to my father. But I was to my mom. And I'm so close with her now. In fact, she was my maitron of honor at my wedding. Anyway, my dad has made strides over the last few years, but I'm still not very close to him, at all.

Sorry if this is rambling. I just wanted to let you know that there isn't anything you can do. That sucks, too. As moms we want nothing more than to protect our little ones, but you don't have much control over this one.

When I was little I never asked why my dad didn't come to my recitals, swim meets, school plays, etc. I just knew. He was at work. If I were in your shoes, I'm not sure what I'd do. I guess I wouldn't bad mouth XH, and I wouldn't make excuses, either. I'd let DD call him and invite him to things and then let XH explain why he can't come. I know Ellen isn't old enough yet to do that. But it's a thought.

And as terrible as it sounds, maybe Ellen is better off without his influence if he's not going to be a good one. We all want to surround our kids with people who love them dearly, but if XH can't do that then maybe it's okay for him to back off for awhile.

There aren't any easy answers. And I'm sorry you're going through this. (((((HUGS))))) to you and Ellen.

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Shannon, I am sorry for your pain. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad was in the Air Force so I almost never saw him. Once when he was stationed in Germany and home in Iowa to visit his parents on leave my mom walked into a restaurant and saw him there. He had not even told his 8 year old daughter he would be in the country and did not see me at all that visit. I do not know how men (people) can be such asses to the kids. Even though BTDT no real words of advice, just a hug for you and Ellen from me. I have been hoping you would post a current pix of her sometime, that avatar is so old.
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Shannon, I am sorry for your pain. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad was in the Air Force so I almost never saw him. Once when he was stationed in Germany and home in Iowa to visit his parents on leave my mom walked into a restaurant and saw him there. He had not even told his 8 year old daughter he would be in the country and did not see me at all that visit. I do not know how men (people) can be such asses to the kids. Even though BTDT no real words of advice, just a hug for you and Ellen from me. I have been hoping you would post a current pix of her sometime, that avatar is so old.
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Shannon, I am sorry for your pain. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad was in the Air Force so I almost never saw him. Once when he was stationed in Germany and home in Iowa to visit his parents on leave my mom walked into a restaurant and saw him there. He had not even told his 8 year old daughter he would be in the country and did not see me at all that visit. I do not know how men (people) can be such asses to the kids. Even though BTDT no real words of advice, just a hug for you and Ellen from me. I have been hoping you would post a current pix of her sometime, that avatar is so old.
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Shannon, I am sorry for your pain. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad was in the Air Force so I almost never saw him. Once when he was stationed in Germany and home in Iowa to visit his parents on leave my mom walked into a restaurant and saw him there. He had not even told his 8 year old daughter he would be in the country and did not see me at all that visit. I do not know how men (people) can be such asses to the kids. Even though BTDT no real words of advice, just a hug for you and Ellen from me. I have been hoping you would post a current pix of her sometime, that avatar is so old.
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Shannon, I am sorry for your pain. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad was in the Air Force so I almost never saw him. Once when he was stationed in Germany and home in Iowa to visit his parents on leave my mom walked into a restaurant and saw him there. He had not even told his 8 year old daughter he would be in the country and did not see me at all that visit. I do not know how men (people) can be such asses to the kids. Even though BTDT no real words of advice, just a hug for you and Ellen from me. I have been hoping you would post a current pix of her sometime, that avatar is so old.
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Shannon, I am sorry for your pain. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad was in the Air Force so I almost never saw him. Once when he was stationed in Germany and home in Iowa to visit his parents on leave my mom walked into a restaurant and saw him there. He had not even told his 8 year old daughter he would be in the country and did not see me at all that visit. I do not know how men (people) can be such asses to the kids. Even though BTDT no real words of advice, just a hug for you and Ellen from me. I have been hoping you would post a current pix of her sometime, that avatar is so old.
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Shannon, I am sorry for your pain. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad was in the Air Force so I almost never saw him. Once when he was stationed in Germany and home in Iowa to visit his parents on leave my mom walked into a restaurant and saw him there. He had not even told his 8 year old daughter he would be in the country and did not see me at all that visit. I do not know how men (people) can be such asses to the kids. Even though BTDT no real words of advice, just a hug for you and Ellen from me. I have been hoping you would post a current pix of her sometime, that avatar is so old.
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Shannon, I am sorry for your pain. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad was in the Air Force so I almost never saw him. Once when he was stationed in Germany and home in Iowa to visit his parents on leave my mom walked into a restaurant and saw him there. He had not even told his 8 year old daughter he would be in the country and did not see me at all that visit. I do not know how men (people) can be such asses to the kids. Even though BTDT no real words of advice, just a hug for you and Ellen from me. I have been hoping you would post a current pix of her sometime, that avatar is so old.
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

Shannon, I am sorry for your pain. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad was in the Air Force so I almost never saw him. Once when he was stationed in Germany and home in Iowa to visit his parents on leave my mom walked into a restaurant and saw him there. He had not even told his 8 year old daughter he would be in the country and did not see me at all that visit. I do not know how men (people) can be such asses to the kids. Even though BTDT no real words of advice, just a hug for you and Ellen from me. I have been hoping you would post a current pix of her sometime, that avatar is so old.
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[kozachka]

(((Hugs))). You've got some good advice from other pp so I won't repeat it. Just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from. I often wonder about the same thing, how can DH not want to spend as much time as I with DS (to the point of not spending any quality time with him for days) and talk as much about him and so on and so forth. Things got better as DS got older but DH is not even close to the kind of father he said he would be when he was talking me into having a child. Our situation is certainly not the same as yours but you are far from alone in being upset at your *H for not wanting to be with you precious DC. Even friends who have much better relations than DH and I, argue with their DHs about not spending enough time with their DC. Guess man are just wired differently... sigh

[kozachka]

(((Hugs))). You've got some good advice from other pp so I won't repeat it. Just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from. I often wonder about the same thing, how can DH not want to spend as much time as I with DS (to the point of not spending any quality time with him for days) and talk as much about him and so on and so forth. Things got better as DS got older but DH is not even close to the kind of father he said he would be when he was talking me into having a child. Our situation is certainly not the same as yours but you are far from alone in being upset at your *H for not wanting to be with you precious DC. Even friends who have much better relations than DH and I, argue with their DHs about not spending enough time with their DC. Guess man are just wired differently... sigh

[kozachka]

(((Hugs))). You've got some good advice from other pp so I won't repeat it. Just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from. I often wonder about the same thing, how can DH not want to spend as much time as I with DS (to the point of not spending any quality time with him for days) and talk as much about him and so on and so forth. Things got better as DS got older but DH is not even close to the kind of father he said he would be when he was talking me into having a child. Our situation is certainly not the same as yours but you are far from alone in being upset at your *H for not wanting to be with you precious DC. Even friends who have much better relations than DH and I, argue with their DHs about not spending enough time with their DC. Guess man are just wired differently... sigh

[kozachka]

(((Hugs))). You've got some good advice from other pp so I won't repeat it. Just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from. I often wonder about the same thing, how can DH not want to spend as much time as I with DS (to the point of not spending any quality time with him for days) and talk as much about him and so on and so forth. Things got better as DS got older but DH is not even close to the kind of father he said he would be when he was talking me into having a child. Our situation is certainly not the same as yours but you are far from alone in being upset at your *H for not wanting to be with you precious DC. Even friends who have much better relations than DH and I, argue with their DHs about not spending enough time with their DC. Guess man are just wired differently... sigh

[kozachka]

(((Hugs))). You've got some good advice from other pp so I won't repeat it. Just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from. I often wonder about the same thing, how can DH not want to spend as much time as I with DS (to the point of not spending any quality time with him for days) and talk as much about him and so on and so forth. Things got better as DS got older but DH is not even close to the kind of father he said he would be when he was talking me into having a child. Our situation is certainly not the same as yours but you are far from alone in being upset at your *H for not wanting to be with you precious DC. Even friends who have much better relations than DH and I, argue with their DHs about not spending enough time with their DC. Guess man are just wired differently... sigh

[kozachka]

(((Hugs))). You've got some good advice from other pp so I won't repeat it. Just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from. I often wonder about the same thing, how can DH not want to spend as much time as I with DS (to the point of not spending any quality time with him for days) and talk as much about him and so on and so forth. Things got better as DS got older but DH is not even close to the kind of father he said he would be when he was talking me into having a child. Our situation is certainly not the same as yours but you are far from alone in being upset at your *H for not wanting to be with you precious DC. Even friends who have much better relations than DH and I, argue with their DHs about not spending enough time with their DC. Guess man are just wired differently... sigh

[kozachka]

(((Hugs))). You've got some good advice from other pp so I won't repeat it. Just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from. I often wonder about the same thing, how can DH not want to spend as much time as I with DS (to the point of not spending any quality time with him for days) and talk as much about him and so on and so forth. Things got better as DS got older but DH is not even close to the kind of father he said he would be when he was talking me into having a child. Our situation is certainly not the same as yours but you are far from alone in being upset at your *H for not wanting to be with you precious DC. Even friends who have much better relations than DH and I, argue with their DHs about not spending enough time with their DC. Guess man are just wired differently... sigh

[kozachka]

(((Hugs))). You've got some good advice from other pp so I won't repeat it. Just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from. I often wonder about the same thing, how can DH not want to spend as much time as I with DS (to the point of not spending any quality time with him for days) and talk as much about him and so on and so forth. Things got better as DS got older but DH is not even close to the kind of father he said he would be when he was talking me into having a child. Our situation is certainly not the same as yours but you are far from alone in being upset at your *H for not wanting to be with you precious DC. Even friends who have much better relations than DH and I, argue with their DHs about not spending enough time with their DC. Guess man are just wired differently... sigh

[kozachka]

(((Hugs))). You've got some good advice from other pp so I won't repeat it. Just wanted to say that I know where you are coming from. I often wonder about the same thing, how can DH not want to spend as much time as I with DS (to the point of not spending any quality time with him for days) and talk as much about him and so on and so forth. Things got better as DS got older but DH is not even close to the kind of father he said he would be when he was talking me into having a child. Our situation is certainly not the same as yours but you are far from alone in being upset at your *H for not wanting to be with you precious DC. Even friends who have much better relations than DH and I, argue with their DHs about not spending enough time with their DC. Guess man are just wired differently... sigh

[mamato1]

Shannon-

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that I grew up without significant male role models for most of my life and I think I turned out OK. I know that most of your hurt must be because you feel you can not give Ellen "everything." Well, no child in this world is in a perfect situation and it is very clear to me from reading your posts that you are as close to "everything" that any child could hope to have! Stop worrying about the "male" in positive male influence and pat yourself on the back for positive influence period!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shannon-

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that I grew up without significant male role models for most of my life and I think I turned out OK. I know that most of your hurt must be because you feel you can not give Ellen "everything." Well, no child in this world is in a perfect situation and it is very clear to me from reading your posts that you are as close to "everything" that any child could hope to have! Stop worrying about the "male" in positive male influence and pat yourself on the back for positive influence period!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shannon-

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that I grew up without significant male role models for most of my life and I think I turned out OK. I know that most of your hurt must be because you feel you can not give Ellen "everything." Well, no child in this world is in a perfect situation and it is very clear to me from reading your posts that you are as close to "everything" that any child could hope to have! Stop worrying about the "male" in positive male influence and pat yourself on the back for positive influence period!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shannon-

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that I grew up without significant male role models for most of my life and I think I turned out OK. I know that most of your hurt must be because you feel you can not give Ellen "everything." Well, no child in this world is in a perfect situation and it is very clear to me from reading your posts that you are as close to "everything" that any child could hope to have! Stop worrying about the "male" in positive male influence and pat yourself on the back for positive influence period!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shannon-

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that I grew up without significant male role models for most of my life and I think I turned out OK. I know that most of your hurt must be because you feel you can not give Ellen "everything." Well, no child in this world is in a perfect situation and it is very clear to me from reading your posts that you are as close to "everything" that any child could hope to have! Stop worrying about the "male" in positive male influence and pat yourself on the back for positive influence period!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shannon-

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that I grew up without significant male role models for most of my life and I think I turned out OK. I know that most of your hurt must be because you feel you can not give Ellen "everything." Well, no child in this world is in a perfect situation and it is very clear to me from reading your posts that you are as close to "everything" that any child could hope to have! Stop worrying about the "male" in positive male influence and pat yourself on the back for positive influence period!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shannon-

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that I grew up without significant male role models for most of my life and I think I turned out OK. I know that most of your hurt must be because you feel you can not give Ellen "everything." Well, no child in this world is in a perfect situation and it is very clear to me from reading your posts that you are as close to "everything" that any child could hope to have! Stop worrying about the "male" in positive male influence and pat yourself on the back for positive influence period!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shannon-

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that I grew up without significant male role models for most of my life and I think I turned out OK. I know that most of your hurt must be because you feel you can not give Ellen "everything." Well, no child in this world is in a perfect situation and it is very clear to me from reading your posts that you are as close to "everything" that any child could hope to have! Stop worrying about the "male" in positive male influence and pat yourself on the back for positive influence period!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shannon-

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that I grew up without significant male role models for most of my life and I think I turned out OK. I know that most of your hurt must be because you feel you can not give Ellen "everything." Well, no child in this world is in a perfect situation and it is very clear to me from reading your posts that you are as close to "everything" that any child could hope to have! Stop worrying about the "male" in positive male influence and pat yourself on the back for positive influence period!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mommy111]

Shannon, sounds to me like Ellen is one heck of a lucky girl to have you as mommy. I wouldn't worry about XH, many kids grow up w/o fathers and are well-balanced and adjusted and do JUST fine. Better than having a father in your life who is a negative influence. It sounds to me like he's the one missing out, and he deserves it!

[mommy111]

Shannon, sounds to me like Ellen is one heck of a lucky girl to have you as mommy. I wouldn't worry about XH, many kids grow up w/o fathers and are well-balanced and adjusted and do JUST fine. Better than having a father in your life who is a negative influence. It sounds to me like he's the one missing out, and he deserves it!

[mommy111]

Shannon, sounds to me like Ellen is one heck of a lucky girl to have you as mommy. I wouldn't worry about XH, many kids grow up w/o fathers and are well-balanced and adjusted and do JUST fine. Better than having a father in your life who is a negative influence. It sounds to me like he's the one missing out, and he deserves it!

[mommy111]

Shannon, sounds to me like Ellen is one heck of a lucky girl to have you as mommy. I wouldn't worry about XH, many kids grow up w/o fathers and are well-balanced and adjusted and do JUST fine. Better than having a father in your life who is a negative influence. It sounds to me like he's the one missing out, and he deserves it!

[mommy111]

Shannon, sounds to me like Ellen is one heck of a lucky girl to have you as mommy. I wouldn't worry about XH, many kids grow up w/o fathers and are well-balanced and adjusted and do JUST fine. Better than having a father in your life who is a negative influence. It sounds to me like he's the one missing out, and he deserves it!

[mommy111]

Shannon, sounds to me like Ellen is one heck of a lucky girl to have you as mommy. I wouldn't worry about XH, many kids grow up w/o fathers and are well-balanced and adjusted and do JUST fine. Better than having a father in your life who is a negative influence. It sounds to me like he's the one missing out, and he deserves it!

[mommy111]

Shannon, sounds to me like Ellen is one heck of a lucky girl to have you as mommy. I wouldn't worry about XH, many kids grow up w/o fathers and are well-balanced and adjusted and do JUST fine. Better than having a father in your life who is a negative influence. It sounds to me like he's the one missing out, and he deserves it!

[mommy111]

Shannon, sounds to me like Ellen is one heck of a lucky girl to have you as mommy. I wouldn't worry about XH, many kids grow up w/o fathers and are well-balanced and adjusted and do JUST fine. Better than having a father in your life who is a negative influence. It sounds to me like he's the one missing out, and he deserves it!

[mommy111]

Shannon, sounds to me like Ellen is one heck of a lucky girl to have you as mommy. I wouldn't worry about XH, many kids grow up w/o fathers and are well-balanced and adjusted and do JUST fine. Better than having a father in your life who is a negative influence. It sounds to me like he's the one missing out, and he deserves it!