MIL telling DS "secrets"

[marchmommy]

What do you think of this? Yesterday we were leaving in-laws' house and MIL said to DS (3 yrs old), "come let me tell you a secret." It really annoys me when she does this, as I don't like the idea of secrets being told to him. For one, it makes me uncomfortable b/c I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me. Maybe, or probably I am being too sensitive, but I don't know. Also, I'm nervous of him thinking secrets are OK, and the whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us." So this time, I said, does it have to be a secret? I don't like a secret. (Also, my younger DD was being left out of the secret.) Well, MIL got very upset, like I hurt her feelings, and just walked inside. I told DS to give her a hug and kiss, but she was still upset and went inside. Was I out of line??? (She probably just wanted to whisper I love you and you are such a good boy...)

[marchmommy]

What do you think of this? Yesterday we were leaving in-laws' house and MIL said to DS (3 yrs old), "come let me tell you a secret." It really annoys me when she does this, as I don't like the idea of secrets being told to him. For one, it makes me uncomfortable b/c I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me. Maybe, or probably I am being too sensitive, but I don't know. Also, I'm nervous of him thinking secrets are OK, and the whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us." So this time, I said, does it have to be a secret? I don't like a secret. (Also, my younger DD was being left out of the secret.) Well, MIL got very upset, like I hurt her feelings, and just walked inside. I told DS to give her a hug and kiss, but she was still upset and went inside. Was I out of line??? (She probably just wanted to whisper I love you and you are such a good boy...)

[marchmommy]

What do you think of this? Yesterday we were leaving in-laws' house and MIL said to DS (3 yrs old), "come let me tell you a secret." It really annoys me when she does this, as I don't like the idea of secrets being told to him. For one, it makes me uncomfortable b/c I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me. Maybe, or probably I am being too sensitive, but I don't know. Also, I'm nervous of him thinking secrets are OK, and the whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us." So this time, I said, does it have to be a secret? I don't like a secret. (Also, my younger DD was being left out of the secret.) Well, MIL got very upset, like I hurt her feelings, and just walked inside. I told DS to give her a hug and kiss, but she was still upset and went inside. Was I out of line??? (She probably just wanted to whisper I love you and you are such a good boy...)

[marchmommy]

What do you think of this? Yesterday we were leaving in-laws' house and MIL said to DS (3 yrs old), "come let me tell you a secret." It really annoys me when she does this, as I don't like the idea of secrets being told to him. For one, it makes me uncomfortable b/c I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me. Maybe, or probably I am being too sensitive, but I don't know. Also, I'm nervous of him thinking secrets are OK, and the whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us." So this time, I said, does it have to be a secret? I don't like a secret. (Also, my younger DD was being left out of the secret.) Well, MIL got very upset, like I hurt her feelings, and just walked inside. I told DS to give her a hug and kiss, but she was still upset and went inside. Was I out of line??? (She probably just wanted to whisper I love you and you are such a good boy...)

[marchmommy]

What do you think of this? Yesterday we were leaving in-laws' house and MIL said to DS (3 yrs old), "come let me tell you a secret." It really annoys me when she does this, as I don't like the idea of secrets being told to him. For one, it makes me uncomfortable b/c I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me. Maybe, or probably I am being too sensitive, but I don't know. Also, I'm nervous of him thinking secrets are OK, and the whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us." So this time, I said, does it have to be a secret? I don't like a secret. (Also, my younger DD was being left out of the secret.) Well, MIL got very upset, like I hurt her feelings, and just walked inside. I told DS to give her a hug and kiss, but she was still upset and went inside. Was I out of line??? (She probably just wanted to whisper I love you and you are such a good boy...)

[marchmommy]

What do you think of this? Yesterday we were leaving in-laws' house and MIL said to DS (3 yrs old), "come let me tell you a secret." It really annoys me when she does this, as I don't like the idea of secrets being told to him. For one, it makes me uncomfortable b/c I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me. Maybe, or probably I am being too sensitive, but I don't know. Also, I'm nervous of him thinking secrets are OK, and the whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us." So this time, I said, does it have to be a secret? I don't like a secret. (Also, my younger DD was being left out of the secret.) Well, MIL got very upset, like I hurt her feelings, and just walked inside. I told DS to give her a hug and kiss, but she was still upset and went inside. Was I out of line??? (She probably just wanted to whisper I love you and you are such a good boy...)

[marchmommy]

What do you think of this? Yesterday we were leaving in-laws' house and MIL said to DS (3 yrs old), "come let me tell you a secret." It really annoys me when she does this, as I don't like the idea of secrets being told to him. For one, it makes me uncomfortable b/c I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me. Maybe, or probably I am being too sensitive, but I don't know. Also, I'm nervous of him thinking secrets are OK, and the whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us." So this time, I said, does it have to be a secret? I don't like a secret. (Also, my younger DD was being left out of the secret.) Well, MIL got very upset, like I hurt her feelings, and just walked inside. I told DS to give her a hug and kiss, but she was still upset and went inside. Was I out of line??? (She probably just wanted to whisper I love you and you are such a good boy...)

[marchmommy]

What do you think of this? Yesterday we were leaving in-laws' house and MIL said to DS (3 yrs old), "come let me tell you a secret." It really annoys me when she does this, as I don't like the idea of secrets being told to him. For one, it makes me uncomfortable b/c I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me. Maybe, or probably I am being too sensitive, but I don't know. Also, I'm nervous of him thinking secrets are OK, and the whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us." So this time, I said, does it have to be a secret? I don't like a secret. (Also, my younger DD was being left out of the secret.) Well, MIL got very upset, like I hurt her feelings, and just walked inside. I told DS to give her a hug and kiss, but she was still upset and went inside. Was I out of line??? (She probably just wanted to whisper I love you and you are such a good boy...)

[marchmommy]

What do you think of this? Yesterday we were leaving in-laws' house and MIL said to DS (3 yrs old), "come let me tell you a secret." It really annoys me when she does this, as I don't like the idea of secrets being told to him. For one, it makes me uncomfortable b/c I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me. Maybe, or probably I am being too sensitive, but I don't know. Also, I'm nervous of him thinking secrets are OK, and the whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us." So this time, I said, does it have to be a secret? I don't like a secret. (Also, my younger DD was being left out of the secret.) Well, MIL got very upset, like I hurt her feelings, and just walked inside. I told DS to give her a hug and kiss, but she was still upset and went inside. Was I out of line??? (She probably just wanted to whisper I love you and you are such a good boy...)

[deenass]

I think it's very valid to not want MIL (or any adult for that matter) telling your child a "secret".

I explained to my parents, in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and pulled out the whole child abuse (if someone were to hurt my child and tell them to keep it a secret, how awful would that be if he actually did). That pretty much shut them up. Not a scenario I really even want to think about happening, but a pretty graphic reason why children should not be asked to keep secrets.

Your MIL needs to grow up!

[deenass]

I think it's very valid to not want MIL (or any adult for that matter) telling your child a "secret".

I explained to my parents, in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and pulled out the whole child abuse (if someone were to hurt my child and tell them to keep it a secret, how awful would that be if he actually did). That pretty much shut them up. Not a scenario I really even want to think about happening, but a pretty graphic reason why children should not be asked to keep secrets.

Your MIL needs to grow up!

[deenass]

I think it's very valid to not want MIL (or any adult for that matter) telling your child a "secret".

I explained to my parents, in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and pulled out the whole child abuse (if someone were to hurt my child and tell them to keep it a secret, how awful would that be if he actually did). That pretty much shut them up. Not a scenario I really even want to think about happening, but a pretty graphic reason why children should not be asked to keep secrets.

Your MIL needs to grow up!

[deenass]

I think it's very valid to not want MIL (or any adult for that matter) telling your child a "secret".

I explained to my parents, in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and pulled out the whole child abuse (if someone were to hurt my child and tell them to keep it a secret, how awful would that be if he actually did). That pretty much shut them up. Not a scenario I really even want to think about happening, but a pretty graphic reason why children should not be asked to keep secrets.

Your MIL needs to grow up!

[deenass]

I think it's very valid to not want MIL (or any adult for that matter) telling your child a "secret".

I explained to my parents, in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and pulled out the whole child abuse (if someone were to hurt my child and tell them to keep it a secret, how awful would that be if he actually did). That pretty much shut them up. Not a scenario I really even want to think about happening, but a pretty graphic reason why children should not be asked to keep secrets.

Your MIL needs to grow up!

[deenass]

I think it's very valid to not want MIL (or any adult for that matter) telling your child a "secret".

I explained to my parents, in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and pulled out the whole child abuse (if someone were to hurt my child and tell them to keep it a secret, how awful would that be if he actually did). That pretty much shut them up. Not a scenario I really even want to think about happening, but a pretty graphic reason why children should not be asked to keep secrets.

Your MIL needs to grow up!

[deenass]

I think it's very valid to not want MIL (or any adult for that matter) telling your child a "secret".

I explained to my parents, in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and pulled out the whole child abuse (if someone were to hurt my child and tell them to keep it a secret, how awful would that be if he actually did). That pretty much shut them up. Not a scenario I really even want to think about happening, but a pretty graphic reason why children should not be asked to keep secrets.

Your MIL needs to grow up!

[deenass]

I think it's very valid to not want MIL (or any adult for that matter) telling your child a "secret".

I explained to my parents, in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and pulled out the whole child abuse (if someone were to hurt my child and tell them to keep it a secret, how awful would that be if he actually did). That pretty much shut them up. Not a scenario I really even want to think about happening, but a pretty graphic reason why children should not be asked to keep secrets.

Your MIL needs to grow up!

[deenass]

I think it's very valid to not want MIL (or any adult for that matter) telling your child a "secret".

I explained to my parents, in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and pulled out the whole child abuse (if someone were to hurt my child and tell them to keep it a secret, how awful would that be if he actually did). That pretty much shut them up. Not a scenario I really even want to think about happening, but a pretty graphic reason why children should not be asked to keep secrets.

Your MIL needs to grow up!

[KBecks]

Absolutely NOT OK, and I didn't even finish reading your post. It doesn't matter what it's about.

The ONLY EXCEPTION would be something like a surprise birthdy party or something like that. But I doubt that's the situation.

Parents (together) can have secrets with their kids, but even that is a bit difficult. An example I can think of is when a child knows a new baby is coming but the parents aren't ready to tell the world yet -- even that puts too much pressure on the child -- you know??

If it was something totally benign, like I love you, have a gentle converation with MIL about how you don't like secrets and why, and that you prefer that she's open with her love. Your DS is nowhere near the age a boy would be embarassed by such affection.

Tell MIL to knock it off, now!!! And she can get over it. Of course it was probably not a bad secret, but you don't want DS learning to be deceptive to you.

And have a talk with DS about secrets, that they are not OK. I'd look for a book or some resource to help you with how to approach it.

KBecks
**having a very negative reaction to secrets today -- I like open, open communication and honesty.

[KBecks]

Absolutely NOT OK, and I didn't even finish reading your post. It doesn't matter what it's about.

The ONLY EXCEPTION would be something like a surprise birthdy party or something like that. But I doubt that's the situation.

Parents (together) can have secrets with their kids, but even that is a bit difficult. An example I can think of is when a child knows a new baby is coming but the parents aren't ready to tell the world yet -- even that puts too much pressure on the child -- you know??

If it was something totally benign, like I love you, have a gentle converation with MIL about how you don't like secrets and why, and that you prefer that she's open with her love. Your DS is nowhere near the age a boy would be embarassed by such affection.

Tell MIL to knock it off, now!!! And she can get over it. Of course it was probably not a bad secret, but you don't want DS learning to be deceptive to you.

And have a talk with DS about secrets, that they are not OK. I'd look for a book or some resource to help you with how to approach it.

KBecks
**having a very negative reaction to secrets today -- I like open, open communication and honesty.

[KBecks]

Absolutely NOT OK, and I didn't even finish reading your post. It doesn't matter what it's about.

The ONLY EXCEPTION would be something like a surprise birthdy party or something like that. But I doubt that's the situation.

Parents (together) can have secrets with their kids, but even that is a bit difficult. An example I can think of is when a child knows a new baby is coming but the parents aren't ready to tell the world yet -- even that puts too much pressure on the child -- you know??

If it was something totally benign, like I love you, have a gentle converation with MIL about how you don't like secrets and why, and that you prefer that she's open with her love. Your DS is nowhere near the age a boy would be embarassed by such affection.

Tell MIL to knock it off, now!!! And she can get over it. Of course it was probably not a bad secret, but you don't want DS learning to be deceptive to you.

And have a talk with DS about secrets, that they are not OK. I'd look for a book or some resource to help you with how to approach it.

KBecks
**having a very negative reaction to secrets today -- I like open, open communication and honesty.

[KBecks]

Absolutely NOT OK, and I didn't even finish reading your post. It doesn't matter what it's about.

The ONLY EXCEPTION would be something like a surprise birthdy party or something like that. But I doubt that's the situation.

Parents (together) can have secrets with their kids, but even that is a bit difficult. An example I can think of is when a child knows a new baby is coming but the parents aren't ready to tell the world yet -- even that puts too much pressure on the child -- you know??

If it was something totally benign, like I love you, have a gentle converation with MIL about how you don't like secrets and why, and that you prefer that she's open with her love. Your DS is nowhere near the age a boy would be embarassed by such affection.

Tell MIL to knock it off, now!!! And she can get over it. Of course it was probably not a bad secret, but you don't want DS learning to be deceptive to you.

And have a talk with DS about secrets, that they are not OK. I'd look for a book or some resource to help you with how to approach it.

KBecks
**having a very negative reaction to secrets today -- I like open, open communication and honesty.

[KBecks]

Absolutely NOT OK, and I didn't even finish reading your post. It doesn't matter what it's about.

The ONLY EXCEPTION would be something like a surprise birthdy party or something like that. But I doubt that's the situation.

Parents (together) can have secrets with their kids, but even that is a bit difficult. An example I can think of is when a child knows a new baby is coming but the parents aren't ready to tell the world yet -- even that puts too much pressure on the child -- you know??

If it was something totally benign, like I love you, have a gentle converation with MIL about how you don't like secrets and why, and that you prefer that she's open with her love. Your DS is nowhere near the age a boy would be embarassed by such affection.

Tell MIL to knock it off, now!!! And she can get over it. Of course it was probably not a bad secret, but you don't want DS learning to be deceptive to you.

And have a talk with DS about secrets, that they are not OK. I'd look for a book or some resource to help you with how to approach it.

KBecks
**having a very negative reaction to secrets today -- I like open, open communication and honesty.

[KBecks]

Absolutely NOT OK, and I didn't even finish reading your post. It doesn't matter what it's about.

The ONLY EXCEPTION would be something like a surprise birthdy party or something like that. But I doubt that's the situation.

Parents (together) can have secrets with their kids, but even that is a bit difficult. An example I can think of is when a child knows a new baby is coming but the parents aren't ready to tell the world yet -- even that puts too much pressure on the child -- you know??

If it was something totally benign, like I love you, have a gentle converation with MIL about how you don't like secrets and why, and that you prefer that she's open with her love. Your DS is nowhere near the age a boy would be embarassed by such affection.

Tell MIL to knock it off, now!!! And she can get over it. Of course it was probably not a bad secret, but you don't want DS learning to be deceptive to you.

And have a talk with DS about secrets, that they are not OK. I'd look for a book or some resource to help you with how to approach it.

KBecks
**having a very negative reaction to secrets today -- I like open, open communication and honesty.

[KBecks]

Absolutely NOT OK, and I didn't even finish reading your post. It doesn't matter what it's about.

The ONLY EXCEPTION would be something like a surprise birthdy party or something like that. But I doubt that's the situation.

Parents (together) can have secrets with their kids, but even that is a bit difficult. An example I can think of is when a child knows a new baby is coming but the parents aren't ready to tell the world yet -- even that puts too much pressure on the child -- you know??

If it was something totally benign, like I love you, have a gentle converation with MIL about how you don't like secrets and why, and that you prefer that she's open with her love. Your DS is nowhere near the age a boy would be embarassed by such affection.

Tell MIL to knock it off, now!!! And she can get over it. Of course it was probably not a bad secret, but you don't want DS learning to be deceptive to you.

And have a talk with DS about secrets, that they are not OK. I'd look for a book or some resource to help you with how to approach it.

KBecks
**having a very negative reaction to secrets today -- I like open, open communication and honesty.

[KBecks]

Absolutely NOT OK, and I didn't even finish reading your post. It doesn't matter what it's about.

The ONLY EXCEPTION would be something like a surprise birthdy party or something like that. But I doubt that's the situation.

Parents (together) can have secrets with their kids, but even that is a bit difficult. An example I can think of is when a child knows a new baby is coming but the parents aren't ready to tell the world yet -- even that puts too much pressure on the child -- you know??

If it was something totally benign, like I love you, have a gentle converation with MIL about how you don't like secrets and why, and that you prefer that she's open with her love. Your DS is nowhere near the age a boy would be embarassed by such affection.

Tell MIL to knock it off, now!!! And she can get over it. Of course it was probably not a bad secret, but you don't want DS learning to be deceptive to you.

And have a talk with DS about secrets, that they are not OK. I'd look for a book or some resource to help you with how to approach it.

KBecks
**having a very negative reaction to secrets today -- I like open, open communication and honesty.

[KBecks]

Absolutely NOT OK, and I didn't even finish reading your post. It doesn't matter what it's about.

The ONLY EXCEPTION would be something like a surprise birthdy party or something like that. But I doubt that's the situation.

Parents (together) can have secrets with their kids, but even that is a bit difficult. An example I can think of is when a child knows a new baby is coming but the parents aren't ready to tell the world yet -- even that puts too much pressure on the child -- you know??

If it was something totally benign, like I love you, have a gentle converation with MIL about how you don't like secrets and why, and that you prefer that she's open with her love. Your DS is nowhere near the age a boy would be embarassed by such affection.

Tell MIL to knock it off, now!!! And she can get over it. Of course it was probably not a bad secret, but you don't want DS learning to be deceptive to you.

And have a talk with DS about secrets, that they are not OK. I'd look for a book or some resource to help you with how to approach it.

KBecks
**having a very negative reaction to secrets today -- I like open, open communication and honesty.

[kedss]

I would have said the same thing to her, I wouldn't want my child having 'secrets' from me at 3, who knows what secrets he would have later. You went with your gut, and you made the best choice for you. Like a PP said, she needs to grow up.

[kedss]

I would have said the same thing to her, I wouldn't want my child having 'secrets' from me at 3, who knows what secrets he would have later. You went with your gut, and you made the best choice for you. Like a PP said, she needs to grow up.

[kedss]

I would have said the same thing to her, I wouldn't want my child having 'secrets' from me at 3, who knows what secrets he would have later. You went with your gut, and you made the best choice for you. Like a PP said, she needs to grow up.

[kedss]

I would have said the same thing to her, I wouldn't want my child having 'secrets' from me at 3, who knows what secrets he would have later. You went with your gut, and you made the best choice for you. Like a PP said, she needs to grow up.

[kedss]

I would have said the same thing to her, I wouldn't want my child having 'secrets' from me at 3, who knows what secrets he would have later. You went with your gut, and you made the best choice for you. Like a PP said, she needs to grow up.

[kedss]

I would have said the same thing to her, I wouldn't want my child having 'secrets' from me at 3, who knows what secrets he would have later. You went with your gut, and you made the best choice for you. Like a PP said, she needs to grow up.

[kedss]

I would have said the same thing to her, I wouldn't want my child having 'secrets' from me at 3, who knows what secrets he would have later. You went with your gut, and you made the best choice for you. Like a PP said, she needs to grow up.

[kedss]

I would have said the same thing to her, I wouldn't want my child having 'secrets' from me at 3, who knows what secrets he would have later. You went with your gut, and you made the best choice for you. Like a PP said, she needs to grow up.

[kedss]

I would have said the same thing to her, I wouldn't want my child having 'secrets' from me at 3, who knows what secrets he would have later. You went with your gut, and you made the best choice for you. Like a PP said, she needs to grow up.

[buddyleebaby]

Hey! What did I miss? I thought you were off having a baby this weekend.

[buddyleebaby]

Hey! What did I miss? I thought you were off having a baby this weekend.

[buddyleebaby]

Hey! What did I miss? I thought you were off having a baby this weekend.

[buddyleebaby]

Hey! What did I miss? I thought you were off having a baby this weekend.

[buddyleebaby]

Hey! What did I miss? I thought you were off having a baby this weekend.

[buddyleebaby]

Hey! What did I miss? I thought you were off having a baby this weekend.

[buddyleebaby]

Hey! What did I miss? I thought you were off having a baby this weekend.

[buddyleebaby]

Hey! What did I miss? I thought you were off having a baby this weekend.

[buddyleebaby]

Hey! What did I miss? I thought you were off having a baby this weekend.

[R2sweetboys]

While I believe that your feelings are valid, I'm guessing that your MIL didn't think anything of what she was doing. She's from a different generation and probably doesn't even realize the reason why you're so concerned about it. I think that you should talk to her without your DC around and explain to her why you feel that secrets can send the wrong message. Depending on how you approached it yesterday, I can sort of understand why it hurt her feelings. She may have just taken as you being threatened that she was doing something with DS that you weren't involved in.(obviously I wasn't there and don't know the dynamics of your relationship with MIL,so I may very well be wrong :) ) If this was something that you had already told her not to do, it would be different. If you speak to her calmly and explain further, hopefully she will understand and refrain from doing it in the future. She does need to respect your parenting choices without judging you or sulking about it. Let's hope that will be the case!

Good luck, and again, I do completely understand your concern. I've honestly never really thought about it in that light but you're right. We don't even attempt secrets anyway because it's just impossible for a 3 or 5 year old to do. It's almost like torture for them! :P

~Leslie

SAHM to...
Ryan 8/14/00
Matthew 2/14/03

[R2sweetboys]

While I believe that your feelings are valid, I'm guessing that your MIL didn't think anything of what she was doing. She's from a different generation and probably doesn't even realize the reason why you're so concerned about it. I think that you should talk to her without your DC around and explain to her why you feel that secrets can send the wrong message. Depending on how you approached it yesterday, I can sort of understand why it hurt her feelings. She may have just taken as you being threatened that she was doing something with DS that you weren't involved in.(obviously I wasn't there and don't know the dynamics of your relationship with MIL,so I may very well be wrong :) ) If this was something that you had already told her not to do, it would be different. If you speak to her calmly and explain further, hopefully she will understand and refrain from doing it in the future. She does need to respect your parenting choices without judging you or sulking about it. Let's hope that will be the case!

Good luck, and again, I do completely understand your concern. I've honestly never really thought about it in that light but you're right. We don't even attempt secrets anyway because it's just impossible for a 3 or 5 year old to do. It's almost like torture for them! :P

~Leslie

SAHM to...
Ryan 8/14/00
Matthew 2/14/03

[R2sweetboys]

While I believe that your feelings are valid, I'm guessing that your MIL didn't think anything of what she was doing. She's from a different generation and probably doesn't even realize the reason why you're so concerned about it. I think that you should talk to her without your DC around and explain to her why you feel that secrets can send the wrong message. Depending on how you approached it yesterday, I can sort of understand why it hurt her feelings. She may have just taken as you being threatened that she was doing something with DS that you weren't involved in.(obviously I wasn't there and don't know the dynamics of your relationship with MIL,so I may very well be wrong :) ) If this was something that you had already told her not to do, it would be different. If you speak to her calmly and explain further, hopefully she will understand and refrain from doing it in the future. She does need to respect your parenting choices without judging you or sulking about it. Let's hope that will be the case!

Good luck, and again, I do completely understand your concern. I've honestly never really thought about it in that light but you're right. We don't even attempt secrets anyway because it's just impossible for a 3 or 5 year old to do. It's almost like torture for them! :P

~Leslie

SAHM to...
Ryan 8/14/00
Matthew 2/14/03

[R2sweetboys]

While I believe that your feelings are valid, I'm guessing that your MIL didn't think anything of what she was doing. She's from a different generation and probably doesn't even realize the reason why you're so concerned about it. I think that you should talk to her without your DC around and explain to her why you feel that secrets can send the wrong message. Depending on how you approached it yesterday, I can sort of understand why it hurt her feelings. She may have just taken as you being threatened that she was doing something with DS that you weren't involved in.(obviously I wasn't there and don't know the dynamics of your relationship with MIL,so I may very well be wrong :) ) If this was something that you had already told her not to do, it would be different. If you speak to her calmly and explain further, hopefully she will understand and refrain from doing it in the future. She does need to respect your parenting choices without judging you or sulking about it. Let's hope that will be the case!

Good luck, and again, I do completely understand your concern. I've honestly never really thought about it in that light but you're right. We don't even attempt secrets anyway because it's just impossible for a 3 or 5 year old to do. It's almost like torture for them! :P

~Leslie

SAHM to...
Ryan 8/14/00
Matthew 2/14/03

[R2sweetboys]

While I believe that your feelings are valid, I'm guessing that your MIL didn't think anything of what she was doing. She's from a different generation and probably doesn't even realize the reason why you're so concerned about it. I think that you should talk to her without your DC around and explain to her why you feel that secrets can send the wrong message. Depending on how you approached it yesterday, I can sort of understand why it hurt her feelings. She may have just taken as you being threatened that she was doing something with DS that you weren't involved in.(obviously I wasn't there and don't know the dynamics of your relationship with MIL,so I may very well be wrong :) ) If this was something that you had already told her not to do, it would be different. If you speak to her calmly and explain further, hopefully she will understand and refrain from doing it in the future. She does need to respect your parenting choices without judging you or sulking about it. Let's hope that will be the case!

Good luck, and again, I do completely understand your concern. I've honestly never really thought about it in that light but you're right. We don't even attempt secrets anyway because it's just impossible for a 3 or 5 year old to do. It's almost like torture for them! :P

~Leslie

SAHM to...
Ryan 8/14/00
Matthew 2/14/03

[R2sweetboys]

While I believe that your feelings are valid, I'm guessing that your MIL didn't think anything of what she was doing. She's from a different generation and probably doesn't even realize the reason why you're so concerned about it. I think that you should talk to her without your DC around and explain to her why you feel that secrets can send the wrong message. Depending on how you approached it yesterday, I can sort of understand why it hurt her feelings. She may have just taken as you being threatened that she was doing something with DS that you weren't involved in.(obviously I wasn't there and don't know the dynamics of your relationship with MIL,so I may very well be wrong :) ) If this was something that you had already told her not to do, it would be different. If you speak to her calmly and explain further, hopefully she will understand and refrain from doing it in the future. She does need to respect your parenting choices without judging you or sulking about it. Let's hope that will be the case!

Good luck, and again, I do completely understand your concern. I've honestly never really thought about it in that light but you're right. We don't even attempt secrets anyway because it's just impossible for a 3 or 5 year old to do. It's almost like torture for them! :P

~Leslie

SAHM to...
Ryan 8/14/00
Matthew 2/14/03

[R2sweetboys]

While I believe that your feelings are valid, I'm guessing that your MIL didn't think anything of what she was doing. She's from a different generation and probably doesn't even realize the reason why you're so concerned about it. I think that you should talk to her without your DC around and explain to her why you feel that secrets can send the wrong message. Depending on how you approached it yesterday, I can sort of understand why it hurt her feelings. She may have just taken as you being threatened that she was doing something with DS that you weren't involved in.(obviously I wasn't there and don't know the dynamics of your relationship with MIL,so I may very well be wrong :) ) If this was something that you had already told her not to do, it would be different. If you speak to her calmly and explain further, hopefully she will understand and refrain from doing it in the future. She does need to respect your parenting choices without judging you or sulking about it. Let's hope that will be the case!

Good luck, and again, I do completely understand your concern. I've honestly never really thought about it in that light but you're right. We don't even attempt secrets anyway because it's just impossible for a 3 or 5 year old to do. It's almost like torture for them! :P

~Leslie

SAHM to...
Ryan 8/14/00
Matthew 2/14/03

[R2sweetboys]

While I believe that your feelings are valid, I'm guessing that your MIL didn't think anything of what she was doing. She's from a different generation and probably doesn't even realize the reason why you're so concerned about it. I think that you should talk to her without your DC around and explain to her why you feel that secrets can send the wrong message. Depending on how you approached it yesterday, I can sort of understand why it hurt her feelings. She may have just taken as you being threatened that she was doing something with DS that you weren't involved in.(obviously I wasn't there and don't know the dynamics of your relationship with MIL,so I may very well be wrong :) ) If this was something that you had already told her not to do, it would be different. If you speak to her calmly and explain further, hopefully she will understand and refrain from doing it in the future. She does need to respect your parenting choices without judging you or sulking about it. Let's hope that will be the case!

Good luck, and again, I do completely understand your concern. I've honestly never really thought about it in that light but you're right. We don't even attempt secrets anyway because it's just impossible for a 3 or 5 year old to do. It's almost like torture for them! :P

~Leslie

SAHM to...
Ryan 8/14/00
Matthew 2/14/03

[R2sweetboys]

While I believe that your feelings are valid, I'm guessing that your MIL didn't think anything of what she was doing. She's from a different generation and probably doesn't even realize the reason why you're so concerned about it. I think that you should talk to her without your DC around and explain to her why you feel that secrets can send the wrong message. Depending on how you approached it yesterday, I can sort of understand why it hurt her feelings. She may have just taken as you being threatened that she was doing something with DS that you weren't involved in.(obviously I wasn't there and don't know the dynamics of your relationship with MIL,so I may very well be wrong :) ) If this was something that you had already told her not to do, it would be different. If you speak to her calmly and explain further, hopefully she will understand and refrain from doing it in the future. She does need to respect your parenting choices without judging you or sulking about it. Let's hope that will be the case!

Good luck, and again, I do completely understand your concern. I've honestly never really thought about it in that light but you're right. We don't even attempt secrets anyway because it's just impossible for a 3 or 5 year old to do. It's almost like torture for them! :P

~Leslie

SAHM to...
Ryan 8/14/00
Matthew 2/14/03

[ellies mom]

You know once DH and my nephew (6 at the time) were out playing ball in our front yard and one of them hit the ball into our gutter. DH told my nephew that this would be their little secret. My nephew was thrilled and went running into the house all excited to tell his mom that he finally had a secret and told her all about it. My sister had been telling her son that if a grown-up wants him to keep a secret, that he needs to come and tell her about. So in this case it was an OK secret, but the idea is good.

I'm sure it didn't even dawn on your MIL that not all grown-up secrets are good. And it is too hard for a three year old, or older kids for that matter, to know when a grown-up secret is ok (DH hitting a ball into the gutter) or something bad (the unthinkable stuff). I don't think I'd mention this "I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me", that would probably not go over well but this "whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us" would be a good thing to say. Just something to the fact while you know any secret MIL would tell would be harmless, DS is too young to understand the difference and you would rather he not have secrets because of it. I'm hoping that if you put it to her that way, letting her know that it is safety related and not just MIL bashing that she will be reasonable.

[ellies mom]

You know once DH and my nephew (6 at the time) were out playing ball in our front yard and one of them hit the ball into our gutter. DH told my nephew that this would be their little secret. My nephew was thrilled and went running into the house all excited to tell his mom that he finally had a secret and told her all about it. My sister had been telling her son that if a grown-up wants him to keep a secret, that he needs to come and tell her about. So in this case it was an OK secret, but the idea is good.

I'm sure it didn't even dawn on your MIL that not all grown-up secrets are good. And it is too hard for a three year old, or older kids for that matter, to know when a grown-up secret is ok (DH hitting a ball into the gutter) or something bad (the unthinkable stuff). I don't think I'd mention this "I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me", that would probably not go over well but this "whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us" would be a good thing to say. Just something to the fact while you know any secret MIL would tell would be harmless, DS is too young to understand the difference and you would rather he not have secrets because of it. I'm hoping that if you put it to her that way, letting her know that it is safety related and not just MIL bashing that she will be reasonable.

[ellies mom]

You know once DH and my nephew (6 at the time) were out playing ball in our front yard and one of them hit the ball into our gutter. DH told my nephew that this would be their little secret. My nephew was thrilled and went running into the house all excited to tell his mom that he finally had a secret and told her all about it. My sister had been telling her son that if a grown-up wants him to keep a secret, that he needs to come and tell her about. So in this case it was an OK secret, but the idea is good.

I'm sure it didn't even dawn on your MIL that not all grown-up secrets are good. And it is too hard for a three year old, or older kids for that matter, to know when a grown-up secret is ok (DH hitting a ball into the gutter) or something bad (the unthinkable stuff). I don't think I'd mention this "I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me", that would probably not go over well but this "whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us" would be a good thing to say. Just something to the fact while you know any secret MIL would tell would be harmless, DS is too young to understand the difference and you would rather he not have secrets because of it. I'm hoping that if you put it to her that way, letting her know that it is safety related and not just MIL bashing that she will be reasonable.

[ellies mom]

You know once DH and my nephew (6 at the time) were out playing ball in our front yard and one of them hit the ball into our gutter. DH told my nephew that this would be their little secret. My nephew was thrilled and went running into the house all excited to tell his mom that he finally had a secret and told her all about it. My sister had been telling her son that if a grown-up wants him to keep a secret, that he needs to come and tell her about. So in this case it was an OK secret, but the idea is good.

I'm sure it didn't even dawn on your MIL that not all grown-up secrets are good. And it is too hard for a three year old, or older kids for that matter, to know when a grown-up secret is ok (DH hitting a ball into the gutter) or something bad (the unthinkable stuff). I don't think I'd mention this "I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me", that would probably not go over well but this "whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us" would be a good thing to say. Just something to the fact while you know any secret MIL would tell would be harmless, DS is too young to understand the difference and you would rather he not have secrets because of it. I'm hoping that if you put it to her that way, letting her know that it is safety related and not just MIL bashing that she will be reasonable.

[ellies mom]

You know once DH and my nephew (6 at the time) were out playing ball in our front yard and one of them hit the ball into our gutter. DH told my nephew that this would be their little secret. My nephew was thrilled and went running into the house all excited to tell his mom that he finally had a secret and told her all about it. My sister had been telling her son that if a grown-up wants him to keep a secret, that he needs to come and tell her about. So in this case it was an OK secret, but the idea is good.

I'm sure it didn't even dawn on your MIL that not all grown-up secrets are good. And it is too hard for a three year old, or older kids for that matter, to know when a grown-up secret is ok (DH hitting a ball into the gutter) or something bad (the unthinkable stuff). I don't think I'd mention this "I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me", that would probably not go over well but this "whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us" would be a good thing to say. Just something to the fact while you know any secret MIL would tell would be harmless, DS is too young to understand the difference and you would rather he not have secrets because of it. I'm hoping that if you put it to her that way, letting her know that it is safety related and not just MIL bashing that she will be reasonable.

[ellies mom]

You know once DH and my nephew (6 at the time) were out playing ball in our front yard and one of them hit the ball into our gutter. DH told my nephew that this would be their little secret. My nephew was thrilled and went running into the house all excited to tell his mom that he finally had a secret and told her all about it. My sister had been telling her son that if a grown-up wants him to keep a secret, that he needs to come and tell her about. So in this case it was an OK secret, but the idea is good.

I'm sure it didn't even dawn on your MIL that not all grown-up secrets are good. And it is too hard for a three year old, or older kids for that matter, to know when a grown-up secret is ok (DH hitting a ball into the gutter) or something bad (the unthinkable stuff). I don't think I'd mention this "I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me", that would probably not go over well but this "whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us" would be a good thing to say. Just something to the fact while you know any secret MIL would tell would be harmless, DS is too young to understand the difference and you would rather he not have secrets because of it. I'm hoping that if you put it to her that way, letting her know that it is safety related and not just MIL bashing that she will be reasonable.

[ellies mom]

You know once DH and my nephew (6 at the time) were out playing ball in our front yard and one of them hit the ball into our gutter. DH told my nephew that this would be their little secret. My nephew was thrilled and went running into the house all excited to tell his mom that he finally had a secret and told her all about it. My sister had been telling her son that if a grown-up wants him to keep a secret, that he needs to come and tell her about. So in this case it was an OK secret, but the idea is good.

I'm sure it didn't even dawn on your MIL that not all grown-up secrets are good. And it is too hard for a three year old, or older kids for that matter, to know when a grown-up secret is ok (DH hitting a ball into the gutter) or something bad (the unthinkable stuff). I don't think I'd mention this "I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me", that would probably not go over well but this "whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us" would be a good thing to say. Just something to the fact while you know any secret MIL would tell would be harmless, DS is too young to understand the difference and you would rather he not have secrets because of it. I'm hoping that if you put it to her that way, letting her know that it is safety related and not just MIL bashing that she will be reasonable.

[ellies mom]

You know once DH and my nephew (6 at the time) were out playing ball in our front yard and one of them hit the ball into our gutter. DH told my nephew that this would be their little secret. My nephew was thrilled and went running into the house all excited to tell his mom that he finally had a secret and told her all about it. My sister had been telling her son that if a grown-up wants him to keep a secret, that he needs to come and tell her about. So in this case it was an OK secret, but the idea is good.

I'm sure it didn't even dawn on your MIL that not all grown-up secrets are good. And it is too hard for a three year old, or older kids for that matter, to know when a grown-up secret is ok (DH hitting a ball into the gutter) or something bad (the unthinkable stuff). I don't think I'd mention this "I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me", that would probably not go over well but this "whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us" would be a good thing to say. Just something to the fact while you know any secret MIL would tell would be harmless, DS is too young to understand the difference and you would rather he not have secrets because of it. I'm hoping that if you put it to her that way, letting her know that it is safety related and not just MIL bashing that she will be reasonable.

[ellies mom]

You know once DH and my nephew (6 at the time) were out playing ball in our front yard and one of them hit the ball into our gutter. DH told my nephew that this would be their little secret. My nephew was thrilled and went running into the house all excited to tell his mom that he finally had a secret and told her all about it. My sister had been telling her son that if a grown-up wants him to keep a secret, that he needs to come and tell her about. So in this case it was an OK secret, but the idea is good.

I'm sure it didn't even dawn on your MIL that not all grown-up secrets are good. And it is too hard for a three year old, or older kids for that matter, to know when a grown-up secret is ok (DH hitting a ball into the gutter) or something bad (the unthinkable stuff). I don't think I'd mention this "I can't hear what's said, so I feel sort of powerless, like she is getting one over one me", that would probably not go over well but this "whole idea of someone god forbid, saying "don't tell your mommy, it's a secret b/w us" would be a good thing to say. Just something to the fact while you know any secret MIL would tell would be harmless, DS is too young to understand the difference and you would rather he not have secrets because of it. I'm hoping that if you put it to her that way, letting her know that it is safety related and not just MIL bashing that she will be reasonable.

[KBecks]

Thanks for noticing, I wondered later today if I should have explained....

We got bumped a week! The amniocentesis on Thursday AM showed that the baby's lungs might not be 100% ready, so my c-section was rescheduled for this Thursday 7/6/06.

So, I'm hanging around, playing with DS, passing the time, and also trying to get our office and financial paperwork more organized. Oh, and visiting the BBB boards!

[KBecks]

Thanks for noticing, I wondered later today if I should have explained....

We got bumped a week! The amniocentesis on Thursday AM showed that the baby's lungs might not be 100% ready, so my c-section was rescheduled for this Thursday 7/6/06.

So, I'm hanging around, playing with DS, passing the time, and also trying to get our office and financial paperwork more organized. Oh, and visiting the BBB boards!

[KBecks]

Thanks for noticing, I wondered later today if I should have explained....

We got bumped a week! The amniocentesis on Thursday AM showed that the baby's lungs might not be 100% ready, so my c-section was rescheduled for this Thursday 7/6/06.

So, I'm hanging around, playing with DS, passing the time, and also trying to get our office and financial paperwork more organized. Oh, and visiting the BBB boards!

[KBecks]

Thanks for noticing, I wondered later today if I should have explained....

We got bumped a week! The amniocentesis on Thursday AM showed that the baby's lungs might not be 100% ready, so my c-section was rescheduled for this Thursday 7/6/06.

So, I'm hanging around, playing with DS, passing the time, and also trying to get our office and financial paperwork more organized. Oh, and visiting the BBB boards!

[KBecks]

Thanks for noticing, I wondered later today if I should have explained....

We got bumped a week! The amniocentesis on Thursday AM showed that the baby's lungs might not be 100% ready, so my c-section was rescheduled for this Thursday 7/6/06.

So, I'm hanging around, playing with DS, passing the time, and also trying to get our office and financial paperwork more organized. Oh, and visiting the BBB boards!

[KBecks]

Thanks for noticing, I wondered later today if I should have explained....

We got bumped a week! The amniocentesis on Thursday AM showed that the baby's lungs might not be 100% ready, so my c-section was rescheduled for this Thursday 7/6/06.

So, I'm hanging around, playing with DS, passing the time, and also trying to get our office and financial paperwork more organized. Oh, and visiting the BBB boards!

[KBecks]

Thanks for noticing, I wondered later today if I should have explained....

We got bumped a week! The amniocentesis on Thursday AM showed that the baby's lungs might not be 100% ready, so my c-section was rescheduled for this Thursday 7/6/06.

So, I'm hanging around, playing with DS, passing the time, and also trying to get our office and financial paperwork more organized. Oh, and visiting the BBB boards!

[KBecks]

Thanks for noticing, I wondered later today if I should have explained....

We got bumped a week! The amniocentesis on Thursday AM showed that the baby's lungs might not be 100% ready, so my c-section was rescheduled for this Thursday 7/6/06.

So, I'm hanging around, playing with DS, passing the time, and also trying to get our office and financial paperwork more organized. Oh, and visiting the BBB boards!

[KBecks]

Thanks for noticing, I wondered later today if I should have explained....

We got bumped a week! The amniocentesis on Thursday AM showed that the baby's lungs might not be 100% ready, so my c-section was rescheduled for this Thursday 7/6/06.

So, I'm hanging around, playing with DS, passing the time, and also trying to get our office and financial paperwork more organized. Oh, and visiting the BBB boards!

[buddyleebaby]

DD was a 37 weeker. ; )
Enjoy the last few days of pregnancy!

[buddyleebaby]

DD was a 37 weeker. ; )
Enjoy the last few days of pregnancy!

[buddyleebaby]

DD was a 37 weeker. ; )
Enjoy the last few days of pregnancy!

[buddyleebaby]

DD was a 37 weeker. ; )
Enjoy the last few days of pregnancy!

[buddyleebaby]

DD was a 37 weeker. ; )
Enjoy the last few days of pregnancy!

[buddyleebaby]

DD was a 37 weeker. ; )
Enjoy the last few days of pregnancy!

[buddyleebaby]

DD was a 37 weeker. ; )
Enjoy the last few days of pregnancy!

[buddyleebaby]

DD was a 37 weeker. ; )
Enjoy the last few days of pregnancy!

[buddyleebaby]

DD was a 37 weeker. ; )
Enjoy the last few days of pregnancy!

[nov04]

Exactly!!!

[nov04]

Exactly!!!

[nov04]

Exactly!!!

[nov04]

Exactly!!!

[nov04]

Exactly!!!

[nov04]

Exactly!!!

[nov04]

Exactly!!!

[nov04]

Exactly!!!

[nov04]

Exactly!!!

[AngelaS]

Secrets are not okay here either. Surprises that are fun are okay to keep to yourself, but my girls are being taught to tell Mom if anyone tells them a 'secret'.

[AngelaS]

Secrets are not okay here either. Surprises that are fun are okay to keep to yourself, but my girls are being taught to tell Mom if anyone tells them a 'secret'.

[AngelaS]

Secrets are not okay here either. Surprises that are fun are okay to keep to yourself, but my girls are being taught to tell Mom if anyone tells them a 'secret'.

[AngelaS]

Secrets are not okay here either. Surprises that are fun are okay to keep to yourself, but my girls are being taught to tell Mom if anyone tells them a 'secret'.

[AngelaS]

Secrets are not okay here either. Surprises that are fun are okay to keep to yourself, but my girls are being taught to tell Mom if anyone tells them a 'secret'.

[AngelaS]

Secrets are not okay here either. Surprises that are fun are okay to keep to yourself, but my girls are being taught to tell Mom if anyone tells them a 'secret'.

[AngelaS]

Secrets are not okay here either. Surprises that are fun are okay to keep to yourself, but my girls are being taught to tell Mom if anyone tells them a 'secret'.

[AngelaS]

Secrets are not okay here either. Surprises that are fun are okay to keep to yourself, but my girls are being taught to tell Mom if anyone tells them a 'secret'.

[AngelaS]

Secrets are not okay here either. Surprises that are fun are okay to keep to yourself, but my girls are being taught to tell Mom if anyone tells them a 'secret'.

[amp]

My MIL also likes to pull the "We just won't tell your mommy" crap and it infuriates me. Unfortunately, my DH doesn't see the harm.

[amp]

My MIL also likes to pull the "We just won't tell your mommy" crap and it infuriates me. Unfortunately, my DH doesn't see the harm.

[amp]

My MIL also likes to pull the "We just won't tell your mommy" crap and it infuriates me. Unfortunately, my DH doesn't see the harm.

[amp]

My MIL also likes to pull the "We just won't tell your mommy" crap and it infuriates me. Unfortunately, my DH doesn't see the harm.

[amp]

My MIL also likes to pull the "We just won't tell your mommy" crap and it infuriates me. Unfortunately, my DH doesn't see the harm.

[amp]

My MIL also likes to pull the "We just won't tell your mommy" crap and it infuriates me. Unfortunately, my DH doesn't see the harm.

[amp]

My MIL also likes to pull the "We just won't tell your mommy" crap and it infuriates me. Unfortunately, my DH doesn't see the harm.

[amp]

My MIL also likes to pull the "We just won't tell your mommy" crap and it infuriates me. Unfortunately, my DH doesn't see the harm.

[amp]

My MIL also likes to pull the "We just won't tell your mommy" crap and it infuriates me. Unfortunately, my DH doesn't see the harm.

[christiab]

I have the exact same peeve w/ my mom.

I come home and I see, there's chocolate on the shirt, chocolate on the couch, chocolate on the car seat, etc.

ME: Did you have ice cream? (simple question, non-accusatory, no big deal if you did)
MOM:If we did, it's our secret.
ME: We don't have secrets in this house.
MOM: What we do when we're alone is none of your business.
ME: That's exactly what the child molesters want him to think. Glad you're helping them out.

ARRRGH!!

[christiab]

I have the exact same peeve w/ my mom.

I come home and I see, there's chocolate on the shirt, chocolate on the couch, chocolate on the car seat, etc.

ME: Did you have ice cream? (simple question, non-accusatory, no big deal if you did)
MOM:If we did, it's our secret.
ME: We don't have secrets in this house.
MOM: What we do when we're alone is none of your business.
ME: That's exactly what the child molesters want him to think. Glad you're helping them out.

ARRRGH!!

[christiab]

I have the exact same peeve w/ my mom.

I come home and I see, there's chocolate on the shirt, chocolate on the couch, chocolate on the car seat, etc.

ME: Did you have ice cream? (simple question, non-accusatory, no big deal if you did)
MOM:If we did, it's our secret.
ME: We don't have secrets in this house.
MOM: What we do when we're alone is none of your business.
ME: That's exactly what the child molesters want him to think. Glad you're helping them out.

ARRRGH!!

[christiab]

I have the exact same peeve w/ my mom.

I come home and I see, there's chocolate on the shirt, chocolate on the couch, chocolate on the car seat, etc.

ME: Did you have ice cream? (simple question, non-accusatory, no big deal if you did)
MOM:If we did, it's our secret.
ME: We don't have secrets in this house.
MOM: What we do when we're alone is none of your business.
ME: That's exactly what the child molesters want him to think. Glad you're helping them out.

ARRRGH!!

[christiab]

I have the exact same peeve w/ my mom.

I come home and I see, there's chocolate on the shirt, chocolate on the couch, chocolate on the car seat, etc.

ME: Did you have ice cream? (simple question, non-accusatory, no big deal if you did)
MOM:If we did, it's our secret.
ME: We don't have secrets in this house.
MOM: What we do when we're alone is none of your business.
ME: That's exactly what the child molesters want him to think. Glad you're helping them out.

ARRRGH!!

[christiab]

I have the exact same peeve w/ my mom.

I come home and I see, there's chocolate on the shirt, chocolate on the couch, chocolate on the car seat, etc.

ME: Did you have ice cream? (simple question, non-accusatory, no big deal if you did)
MOM:If we did, it's our secret.
ME: We don't have secrets in this house.
MOM: What we do when we're alone is none of your business.
ME: That's exactly what the child molesters want him to think. Glad you're helping them out.

ARRRGH!!

[christiab]

I have the exact same peeve w/ my mom.

I come home and I see, there's chocolate on the shirt, chocolate on the couch, chocolate on the car seat, etc.

ME: Did you have ice cream? (simple question, non-accusatory, no big deal if you did)
MOM:If we did, it's our secret.
ME: We don't have secrets in this house.
MOM: What we do when we're alone is none of your business.
ME: That's exactly what the child molesters want him to think. Glad you're helping them out.

ARRRGH!!

[christiab]

I have the exact same peeve w/ my mom.

I come home and I see, there's chocolate on the shirt, chocolate on the couch, chocolate on the car seat, etc.

ME: Did you have ice cream? (simple question, non-accusatory, no big deal if you did)
MOM:If we did, it's our secret.
ME: We don't have secrets in this house.
MOM: What we do when we're alone is none of your business.
ME: That's exactly what the child molesters want him to think. Glad you're helping them out.

ARRRGH!!

[christiab]

I have the exact same peeve w/ my mom.

I come home and I see, there's chocolate on the shirt, chocolate on the couch, chocolate on the car seat, etc.

ME: Did you have ice cream? (simple question, non-accusatory, no big deal if you did)
MOM:If we did, it's our secret.
ME: We don't have secrets in this house.
MOM: What we do when we're alone is none of your business.
ME: That's exactly what the child molesters want him to think. Glad you're helping them out.

ARRRGH!!

[Mommy_Again]

My first thought was that she is totally pulling off passive agressive behavior in telling secrets with your child, right in front of you, and announcing that she is doing so. It's like she is threatened by you and needs to make a power move. Even if the secret IS just "I love you", it is classic middle school behavior to tell a secret when you know someone else can observe you doing so.

THEN, after re-reading your post, I thought that maybe she is just honestly trying to create "moments" with your DS and this has become a little habit or ritual. It is possible that she doesnt realize the impropriety of telling secrets in front of others or that this would hurt your feelings.

Regardless, there are two conclusions- one is out of your hands, the other isn't:

1. Her response when you asked for no secrets was SO juvenile! But there's nothing you can do about that.

2. No matter what her intent, the PPs are all correct, as was your instinct, that secrets are no good. Allow her the benefit of the doubt of growing up in a different time. Tell her you appreciate that she gives DS special attention but you want to teach him that secrets are not allowed, for safety reasons. Suggest an alternative for her to say, such as "I want to tell you something special" or 'Grandma has a story for you."

[Mommy_Again]

My first thought was that she is totally pulling off passive agressive behavior in telling secrets with your child, right in front of you, and announcing that she is doing so. It's like she is threatened by you and needs to make a power move. Even if the secret IS just "I love you", it is classic middle school behavior to tell a secret when you know someone else can observe you doing so.

THEN, after re-reading your post, I thought that maybe she is just honestly trying to create "moments" with your DS and this has become a little habit or ritual. It is possible that she doesnt realize the impropriety of telling secrets in front of others or that this would hurt your feelings.

Regardless, there are two conclusions- one is out of your hands, the other isn't:

1. Her response when you asked for no secrets was SO juvenile! But there's nothing you can do about that.

2. No matter what her intent, the PPs are all correct, as was your instinct, that secrets are no good. Allow her the benefit of the doubt of growing up in a different time. Tell her you appreciate that she gives DS special attention but you want to teach him that secrets are not allowed, for safety reasons. Suggest an alternative for her to say, such as "I want to tell you something special" or 'Grandma has a story for you."

[Mommy_Again]

My first thought was that she is totally pulling off passive agressive behavior in telling secrets with your child, right in front of you, and announcing that she is doing so. It's like she is threatened by you and needs to make a power move. Even if the secret IS just "I love you", it is classic middle school behavior to tell a secret when you know someone else can observe you doing so.

THEN, after re-reading your post, I thought that maybe she is just honestly trying to create "moments" with your DS and this has become a little habit or ritual. It is possible that she doesnt realize the impropriety of telling secrets in front of others or that this would hurt your feelings.

Regardless, there are two conclusions- one is out of your hands, the other isn't:

1. Her response when you asked for no secrets was SO juvenile! But there's nothing you can do about that.

2. No matter what her intent, the PPs are all correct, as was your instinct, that secrets are no good. Allow her the benefit of the doubt of growing up in a different time. Tell her you appreciate that she gives DS special attention but you want to teach him that secrets are not allowed, for safety reasons. Suggest an alternative for her to say, such as "I want to tell you something special" or 'Grandma has a story for you."

[Mommy_Again]

My first thought was that she is totally pulling off passive agressive behavior in telling secrets with your child, right in front of you, and announcing that she is doing so. It's like she is threatened by you and needs to make a power move. Even if the secret IS just "I love you", it is classic middle school behavior to tell a secret when you know someone else can observe you doing so.

THEN, after re-reading your post, I thought that maybe she is just honestly trying to create "moments" with your DS and this has become a little habit or ritual. It is possible that she doesnt realize the impropriety of telling secrets in front of others or that this would hurt your feelings.

Regardless, there are two conclusions- one is out of your hands, the other isn't:

1. Her response when you asked for no secrets was SO juvenile! But there's nothing you can do about that.

2. No matter what her intent, the PPs are all correct, as was your instinct, that secrets are no good. Allow her the benefit of the doubt of growing up in a different time. Tell her you appreciate that she gives DS special attention but you want to teach him that secrets are not allowed, for safety reasons. Suggest an alternative for her to say, such as "I want to tell you something special" or 'Grandma has a story for you."

[Mommy_Again]

My first thought was that she is totally pulling off passive agressive behavior in telling secrets with your child, right in front of you, and announcing that she is doing so. It's like she is threatened by you and needs to make a power move. Even if the secret IS just "I love you", it is classic middle school behavior to tell a secret when you know someone else can observe you doing so.

THEN, after re-reading your post, I thought that maybe she is just honestly trying to create "moments" with your DS and this has become a little habit or ritual. It is possible that she doesnt realize the impropriety of telling secrets in front of others or that this would hurt your feelings.

Regardless, there are two conclusions- one is out of your hands, the other isn't:

1. Her response when you asked for no secrets was SO juvenile! But there's nothing you can do about that.

2. No matter what her intent, the PPs are all correct, as was your instinct, that secrets are no good. Allow her the benefit of the doubt of growing up in a different time. Tell her you appreciate that she gives DS special attention but you want to teach him that secrets are not allowed, for safety reasons. Suggest an alternative for her to say, such as "I want to tell you something special" or 'Grandma has a story for you."

[Mommy_Again]

My first thought was that she is totally pulling off passive agressive behavior in telling secrets with your child, right in front of you, and announcing that she is doing so. It's like she is threatened by you and needs to make a power move. Even if the secret IS just "I love you", it is classic middle school behavior to tell a secret when you know someone else can observe you doing so.

THEN, after re-reading your post, I thought that maybe she is just honestly trying to create "moments" with your DS and this has become a little habit or ritual. It is possible that she doesnt realize the impropriety of telling secrets in front of others or that this would hurt your feelings.

Regardless, there are two conclusions- one is out of your hands, the other isn't:

1. Her response when you asked for no secrets was SO juvenile! But there's nothing you can do about that.

2. No matter what her intent, the PPs are all correct, as was your instinct, that secrets are no good. Allow her the benefit of the doubt of growing up in a different time. Tell her you appreciate that she gives DS special attention but you want to teach him that secrets are not allowed, for safety reasons. Suggest an alternative for her to say, such as "I want to tell you something special" or 'Grandma has a story for you."

[Mommy_Again]

My first thought was that she is totally pulling off passive agressive behavior in telling secrets with your child, right in front of you, and announcing that she is doing so. It's like she is threatened by you and needs to make a power move. Even if the secret IS just "I love you", it is classic middle school behavior to tell a secret when you know someone else can observe you doing so.

THEN, after re-reading your post, I thought that maybe she is just honestly trying to create "moments" with your DS and this has become a little habit or ritual. It is possible that she doesnt realize the impropriety of telling secrets in front of others or that this would hurt your feelings.

Regardless, there are two conclusions- one is out of your hands, the other isn't:

1. Her response when you asked for no secrets was SO juvenile! But there's nothing you can do about that.

2. No matter what her intent, the PPs are all correct, as was your instinct, that secrets are no good. Allow her the benefit of the doubt of growing up in a different time. Tell her you appreciate that she gives DS special attention but you want to teach him that secrets are not allowed, for safety reasons. Suggest an alternative for her to say, such as "I want to tell you something special" or 'Grandma has a story for you."

[Mommy_Again]

My first thought was that she is totally pulling off passive agressive behavior in telling secrets with your child, right in front of you, and announcing that she is doing so. It's like she is threatened by you and needs to make a power move. Even if the secret IS just "I love you", it is classic middle school behavior to tell a secret when you know someone else can observe you doing so.

THEN, after re-reading your post, I thought that maybe she is just honestly trying to create "moments" with your DS and this has become a little habit or ritual. It is possible that she doesnt realize the impropriety of telling secrets in front of others or that this would hurt your feelings.

Regardless, there are two conclusions- one is out of your hands, the other isn't:

1. Her response when you asked for no secrets was SO juvenile! But there's nothing you can do about that.

2. No matter what her intent, the PPs are all correct, as was your instinct, that secrets are no good. Allow her the benefit of the doubt of growing up in a different time. Tell her you appreciate that she gives DS special attention but you want to teach him that secrets are not allowed, for safety reasons. Suggest an alternative for her to say, such as "I want to tell you something special" or 'Grandma has a story for you."

[Mommy_Again]

My first thought was that she is totally pulling off passive agressive behavior in telling secrets with your child, right in front of you, and announcing that she is doing so. It's like she is threatened by you and needs to make a power move. Even if the secret IS just "I love you", it is classic middle school behavior to tell a secret when you know someone else can observe you doing so.

THEN, after re-reading your post, I thought that maybe she is just honestly trying to create "moments" with your DS and this has become a little habit or ritual. It is possible that she doesnt realize the impropriety of telling secrets in front of others or that this would hurt your feelings.

Regardless, there are two conclusions- one is out of your hands, the other isn't:

1. Her response when you asked for no secrets was SO juvenile! But there's nothing you can do about that.

2. No matter what her intent, the PPs are all correct, as was your instinct, that secrets are no good. Allow her the benefit of the doubt of growing up in a different time. Tell her you appreciate that she gives DS special attention but you want to teach him that secrets are not allowed, for safety reasons. Suggest an alternative for her to say, such as "I want to tell you something special" or 'Grandma has a story for you."