More of a whine - I'm so LONELY!!

[VClute]

Ok, so I've always worked, and used work as my socializing time, too. When I left work to raise DS, I thought I would be able to make friends quickly with other SAHMs. I've put a lot of work into it! I've "picked up" women at the pediatricians office, I've joined THREE moms groups, I've chitty-chatted with the women at the gym nursery, I became a more active volunteer at my church, I've taken DS on walks around the neighborhood, etc. I feel like I know a lot of people now, but there isn't a single one I can call up on the phone or ask out to dinner or a movie or talk about something OTHER than DS and child-related things with.

DH is no help, either. When he comes home, he wants to veg in front of the tv. I understand that, and that's why I thought I'd be able to fill my need for grown-up time with other women. But I feel like I'm going through life all alone, like DH and I are living separate lives in the same space. It's the same thing with the women I know - we all do the same things in the same places, but we're not TOGETHER, kind of like toddlers with parallel play. I just don't know what else to do. But my optimism about making friends is waning, and I'm really unhappy. I have never felt so lonely.

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Ok, so I've always worked, and used work as my socializing time, too. When I left work to raise DS, I thought I would be able to make friends quickly with other SAHMs. I've put a lot of work into it! I've "picked up" women at the pediatricians office, I've joined THREE moms groups, I've chitty-chatted with the women at the gym nursery, I became a more active volunteer at my church, I've taken DS on walks around the neighborhood, etc. I feel like I know a lot of people now, but there isn't a single one I can call up on the phone or ask out to dinner or a movie or talk about something OTHER than DS and child-related things with.

DH is no help, either. When he comes home, he wants to veg in front of the tv. I understand that, and that's why I thought I'd be able to fill my need for grown-up time with other women. But I feel like I'm going through life all alone, like DH and I are living separate lives in the same space. It's the same thing with the women I know - we all do the same things in the same places, but we're not TOGETHER, kind of like toddlers with parallel play. I just don't know what else to do. But my optimism about making friends is waning, and I'm really unhappy. I have never felt so lonely.

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Ok, so I've always worked, and used work as my socializing time, too. When I left work to raise DS, I thought I would be able to make friends quickly with other SAHMs. I've put a lot of work into it! I've "picked up" women at the pediatricians office, I've joined THREE moms groups, I've chitty-chatted with the women at the gym nursery, I became a more active volunteer at my church, I've taken DS on walks around the neighborhood, etc. I feel like I know a lot of people now, but there isn't a single one I can call up on the phone or ask out to dinner or a movie or talk about something OTHER than DS and child-related things with.

DH is no help, either. When he comes home, he wants to veg in front of the tv. I understand that, and that's why I thought I'd be able to fill my need for grown-up time with other women. But I feel like I'm going through life all alone, like DH and I are living separate lives in the same space. It's the same thing with the women I know - we all do the same things in the same places, but we're not TOGETHER, kind of like toddlers with parallel play. I just don't know what else to do. But my optimism about making friends is waning, and I'm really unhappy. I have never felt so lonely.

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Ok, so I've always worked, and used work as my socializing time, too. When I left work to raise DS, I thought I would be able to make friends quickly with other SAHMs. I've put a lot of work into it! I've "picked up" women at the pediatricians office, I've joined THREE moms groups, I've chitty-chatted with the women at the gym nursery, I became a more active volunteer at my church, I've taken DS on walks around the neighborhood, etc. I feel like I know a lot of people now, but there isn't a single one I can call up on the phone or ask out to dinner or a movie or talk about something OTHER than DS and child-related things with.

DH is no help, either. When he comes home, he wants to veg in front of the tv. I understand that, and that's why I thought I'd be able to fill my need for grown-up time with other women. But I feel like I'm going through life all alone, like DH and I are living separate lives in the same space. It's the same thing with the women I know - we all do the same things in the same places, but we're not TOGETHER, kind of like toddlers with parallel play. I just don't know what else to do. But my optimism about making friends is waning, and I'm really unhappy. I have never felt so lonely.

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Ok, so I've always worked, and used work as my socializing time, too. When I left work to raise DS, I thought I would be able to make friends quickly with other SAHMs. I've put a lot of work into it! I've "picked up" women at the pediatricians office, I've joined THREE moms groups, I've chitty-chatted with the women at the gym nursery, I became a more active volunteer at my church, I've taken DS on walks around the neighborhood, etc. I feel like I know a lot of people now, but there isn't a single one I can call up on the phone or ask out to dinner or a movie or talk about something OTHER than DS and child-related things with.

DH is no help, either. When he comes home, he wants to veg in front of the tv. I understand that, and that's why I thought I'd be able to fill my need for grown-up time with other women. But I feel like I'm going through life all alone, like DH and I are living separate lives in the same space. It's the same thing with the women I know - we all do the same things in the same places, but we're not TOGETHER, kind of like toddlers with parallel play. I just don't know what else to do. But my optimism about making friends is waning, and I'm really unhappy. I have never felt so lonely.

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Ok, so I've always worked, and used work as my socializing time, too. When I left work to raise DS, I thought I would be able to make friends quickly with other SAHMs. I've put a lot of work into it! I've "picked up" women at the pediatricians office, I've joined THREE moms groups, I've chitty-chatted with the women at the gym nursery, I became a more active volunteer at my church, I've taken DS on walks around the neighborhood, etc. I feel like I know a lot of people now, but there isn't a single one I can call up on the phone or ask out to dinner or a movie or talk about something OTHER than DS and child-related things with.

DH is no help, either. When he comes home, he wants to veg in front of the tv. I understand that, and that's why I thought I'd be able to fill my need for grown-up time with other women. But I feel like I'm going through life all alone, like DH and I are living separate lives in the same space. It's the same thing with the women I know - we all do the same things in the same places, but we're not TOGETHER, kind of like toddlers with parallel play. I just don't know what else to do. But my optimism about making friends is waning, and I'm really unhappy. I have never felt so lonely.

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Ok, so I've always worked, and used work as my socializing time, too. When I left work to raise DS, I thought I would be able to make friends quickly with other SAHMs. I've put a lot of work into it! I've "picked up" women at the pediatricians office, I've joined THREE moms groups, I've chitty-chatted with the women at the gym nursery, I became a more active volunteer at my church, I've taken DS on walks around the neighborhood, etc. I feel like I know a lot of people now, but there isn't a single one I can call up on the phone or ask out to dinner or a movie or talk about something OTHER than DS and child-related things with.

DH is no help, either. When he comes home, he wants to veg in front of the tv. I understand that, and that's why I thought I'd be able to fill my need for grown-up time with other women. But I feel like I'm going through life all alone, like DH and I are living separate lives in the same space. It's the same thing with the women I know - we all do the same things in the same places, but we're not TOGETHER, kind of like toddlers with parallel play. I just don't know what else to do. But my optimism about making friends is waning, and I'm really unhappy. I have never felt so lonely.

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Ok, so I've always worked, and used work as my socializing time, too. When I left work to raise DS, I thought I would be able to make friends quickly with other SAHMs. I've put a lot of work into it! I've "picked up" women at the pediatricians office, I've joined THREE moms groups, I've chitty-chatted with the women at the gym nursery, I became a more active volunteer at my church, I've taken DS on walks around the neighborhood, etc. I feel like I know a lot of people now, but there isn't a single one I can call up on the phone or ask out to dinner or a movie or talk about something OTHER than DS and child-related things with.

DH is no help, either. When he comes home, he wants to veg in front of the tv. I understand that, and that's why I thought I'd be able to fill my need for grown-up time with other women. But I feel like I'm going through life all alone, like DH and I are living separate lives in the same space. It's the same thing with the women I know - we all do the same things in the same places, but we're not TOGETHER, kind of like toddlers with parallel play. I just don't know what else to do. But my optimism about making friends is waning, and I'm really unhappy. I have never felt so lonely.

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Ok, so I've always worked, and used work as my socializing time, too. When I left work to raise DS, I thought I would be able to make friends quickly with other SAHMs. I've put a lot of work into it! I've "picked up" women at the pediatricians office, I've joined THREE moms groups, I've chitty-chatted with the women at the gym nursery, I became a more active volunteer at my church, I've taken DS on walks around the neighborhood, etc. I feel like I know a lot of people now, but there isn't a single one I can call up on the phone or ask out to dinner or a movie or talk about something OTHER than DS and child-related things with.

DH is no help, either. When he comes home, he wants to veg in front of the tv. I understand that, and that's why I thought I'd be able to fill my need for grown-up time with other women. But I feel like I'm going through life all alone, like DH and I are living separate lives in the same space. It's the same thing with the women I know - we all do the same things in the same places, but we're not TOGETHER, kind of like toddlers with parallel play. I just don't know what else to do. But my optimism about making friends is waning, and I'm really unhappy. I have never felt so lonely.

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[Beth568]

You know what, I was in the same boat when DD1 was small. Really, I didn't start to make good friends with other adults until she started preschool and I became part of that community (her school is a co-op). I think that so many SAHMs dealing with babies are consumed with the tasks of day to day life and don't really manage to maintain friendships of their own - or, if they do, they're with people who were friends before motherhood. And child care is such a tough issue for so many of us that kid-free time with a friend is almost impossible.

It did get a lot easier for me when DD1 got old enough to have relationships with other kids...then, if I was with their mothers, we could talk independently without spending all our time chasing the little ones around. But I do find myself falling into the trap of talking about my kids with other moms, even though we have plenty of other ideas.

I guess I don't have much advice other than to hang in there. I think the first few years with little kids are sort of a black hole, because you have these little people who are completely dependent on you. Then, when they get older and a bit more independent, you can go on with your life, too.

[Beth568]

You know what, I was in the same boat when DD1 was small. Really, I didn't start to make good friends with other adults until she started preschool and I became part of that community (her school is a co-op). I think that so many SAHMs dealing with babies are consumed with the tasks of day to day life and don't really manage to maintain friendships of their own - or, if they do, they're with people who were friends before motherhood. And child care is such a tough issue for so many of us that kid-free time with a friend is almost impossible.

It did get a lot easier for me when DD1 got old enough to have relationships with other kids...then, if I was with their mothers, we could talk independently without spending all our time chasing the little ones around. But I do find myself falling into the trap of talking about my kids with other moms, even though we have plenty of other ideas.

I guess I don't have much advice other than to hang in there. I think the first few years with little kids are sort of a black hole, because you have these little people who are completely dependent on you. Then, when they get older and a bit more independent, you can go on with your life, too.

[Beth568]

You know what, I was in the same boat when DD1 was small. Really, I didn't start to make good friends with other adults until she started preschool and I became part of that community (her school is a co-op). I think that so many SAHMs dealing with babies are consumed with the tasks of day to day life and don't really manage to maintain friendships of their own - or, if they do, they're with people who were friends before motherhood. And child care is such a tough issue for so many of us that kid-free time with a friend is almost impossible.

It did get a lot easier for me when DD1 got old enough to have relationships with other kids...then, if I was with their mothers, we could talk independently without spending all our time chasing the little ones around. But I do find myself falling into the trap of talking about my kids with other moms, even though we have plenty of other ideas.

I guess I don't have much advice other than to hang in there. I think the first few years with little kids are sort of a black hole, because you have these little people who are completely dependent on you. Then, when they get older and a bit more independent, you can go on with your life, too.

[Beth568]

You know what, I was in the same boat when DD1 was small. Really, I didn't start to make good friends with other adults until she started preschool and I became part of that community (her school is a co-op). I think that so many SAHMs dealing with babies are consumed with the tasks of day to day life and don't really manage to maintain friendships of their own - or, if they do, they're with people who were friends before motherhood. And child care is such a tough issue for so many of us that kid-free time with a friend is almost impossible.

It did get a lot easier for me when DD1 got old enough to have relationships with other kids...then, if I was with their mothers, we could talk independently without spending all our time chasing the little ones around. But I do find myself falling into the trap of talking about my kids with other moms, even though we have plenty of other ideas.

I guess I don't have much advice other than to hang in there. I think the first few years with little kids are sort of a black hole, because you have these little people who are completely dependent on you. Then, when they get older and a bit more independent, you can go on with your life, too.

[Beth568]

You know what, I was in the same boat when DD1 was small. Really, I didn't start to make good friends with other adults until she started preschool and I became part of that community (her school is a co-op). I think that so many SAHMs dealing with babies are consumed with the tasks of day to day life and don't really manage to maintain friendships of their own - or, if they do, they're with people who were friends before motherhood. And child care is such a tough issue for so many of us that kid-free time with a friend is almost impossible.

It did get a lot easier for me when DD1 got old enough to have relationships with other kids...then, if I was with their mothers, we could talk independently without spending all our time chasing the little ones around. But I do find myself falling into the trap of talking about my kids with other moms, even though we have plenty of other ideas.

I guess I don't have much advice other than to hang in there. I think the first few years with little kids are sort of a black hole, because you have these little people who are completely dependent on you. Then, when they get older and a bit more independent, you can go on with your life, too.

[Beth568]

You know what, I was in the same boat when DD1 was small. Really, I didn't start to make good friends with other adults until she started preschool and I became part of that community (her school is a co-op). I think that so many SAHMs dealing with babies are consumed with the tasks of day to day life and don't really manage to maintain friendships of their own - or, if they do, they're with people who were friends before motherhood. And child care is such a tough issue for so many of us that kid-free time with a friend is almost impossible.

It did get a lot easier for me when DD1 got old enough to have relationships with other kids...then, if I was with their mothers, we could talk independently without spending all our time chasing the little ones around. But I do find myself falling into the trap of talking about my kids with other moms, even though we have plenty of other ideas.

I guess I don't have much advice other than to hang in there. I think the first few years with little kids are sort of a black hole, because you have these little people who are completely dependent on you. Then, when they get older and a bit more independent, you can go on with your life, too.

[Beth568]

You know what, I was in the same boat when DD1 was small. Really, I didn't start to make good friends with other adults until she started preschool and I became part of that community (her school is a co-op). I think that so many SAHMs dealing with babies are consumed with the tasks of day to day life and don't really manage to maintain friendships of their own - or, if they do, they're with people who were friends before motherhood. And child care is such a tough issue for so many of us that kid-free time with a friend is almost impossible.

It did get a lot easier for me when DD1 got old enough to have relationships with other kids...then, if I was with their mothers, we could talk independently without spending all our time chasing the little ones around. But I do find myself falling into the trap of talking about my kids with other moms, even though we have plenty of other ideas.

I guess I don't have much advice other than to hang in there. I think the first few years with little kids are sort of a black hole, because you have these little people who are completely dependent on you. Then, when they get older and a bit more independent, you can go on with your life, too.

[Beth568]

You know what, I was in the same boat when DD1 was small. Really, I didn't start to make good friends with other adults until she started preschool and I became part of that community (her school is a co-op). I think that so many SAHMs dealing with babies are consumed with the tasks of day to day life and don't really manage to maintain friendships of their own - or, if they do, they're with people who were friends before motherhood. And child care is such a tough issue for so many of us that kid-free time with a friend is almost impossible.

It did get a lot easier for me when DD1 got old enough to have relationships with other kids...then, if I was with their mothers, we could talk independently without spending all our time chasing the little ones around. But I do find myself falling into the trap of talking about my kids with other moms, even though we have plenty of other ideas.

I guess I don't have much advice other than to hang in there. I think the first few years with little kids are sort of a black hole, because you have these little people who are completely dependent on you. Then, when they get older and a bit more independent, you can go on with your life, too.

[Beth568]

You know what, I was in the same boat when DD1 was small. Really, I didn't start to make good friends with other adults until she started preschool and I became part of that community (her school is a co-op). I think that so many SAHMs dealing with babies are consumed with the tasks of day to day life and don't really manage to maintain friendships of their own - or, if they do, they're with people who were friends before motherhood. And child care is such a tough issue for so many of us that kid-free time with a friend is almost impossible.

It did get a lot easier for me when DD1 got old enough to have relationships with other kids...then, if I was with their mothers, we could talk independently without spending all our time chasing the little ones around. But I do find myself falling into the trap of talking about my kids with other moms, even though we have plenty of other ideas.

I guess I don't have much advice other than to hang in there. I think the first few years with little kids are sort of a black hole, because you have these little people who are completely dependent on you. Then, when they get older and a bit more independent, you can go on with your life, too.

[Raidra]

One of my problems with making friends is that while I do know a lot of people to chat with at the playground and whatnot (our playgroup has weekly meetings at parks, museums, etc), I don't see these people every day, so it's harder to form a close relationship. Plus, not everyone comes to every meeting, so a lot of times it's a few weeks between seeing specific people. We're all so busy catching up on what our kids are doing and chasing our kids that we don't have time to talk about anything else. I think that when you're working and seeing the same people every day, it's a lot easier to get to know each other better.

And even with the one person I would feel comfortable with calling up to chat or going out with in the evening.. it's still so hard to plan anything. Something usually comes up, and even with phone calls, one of our kids usually starts acting up and we have to cut the conversation short.

We're planning on homeschooling, too, so I won't have the built-in school friendships to count on - I'll still have to work at joining homeschooling groups and making friends through playdates and whatnot.

[Raidra]

One of my problems with making friends is that while I do know a lot of people to chat with at the playground and whatnot (our playgroup has weekly meetings at parks, museums, etc), I don't see these people every day, so it's harder to form a close relationship. Plus, not everyone comes to every meeting, so a lot of times it's a few weeks between seeing specific people. We're all so busy catching up on what our kids are doing and chasing our kids that we don't have time to talk about anything else. I think that when you're working and seeing the same people every day, it's a lot easier to get to know each other better.

And even with the one person I would feel comfortable with calling up to chat or going out with in the evening.. it's still so hard to plan anything. Something usually comes up, and even with phone calls, one of our kids usually starts acting up and we have to cut the conversation short.

We're planning on homeschooling, too, so I won't have the built-in school friendships to count on - I'll still have to work at joining homeschooling groups and making friends through playdates and whatnot.

[Raidra]

One of my problems with making friends is that while I do know a lot of people to chat with at the playground and whatnot (our playgroup has weekly meetings at parks, museums, etc), I don't see these people every day, so it's harder to form a close relationship. Plus, not everyone comes to every meeting, so a lot of times it's a few weeks between seeing specific people. We're all so busy catching up on what our kids are doing and chasing our kids that we don't have time to talk about anything else. I think that when you're working and seeing the same people every day, it's a lot easier to get to know each other better.

And even with the one person I would feel comfortable with calling up to chat or going out with in the evening.. it's still so hard to plan anything. Something usually comes up, and even with phone calls, one of our kids usually starts acting up and we have to cut the conversation short.

We're planning on homeschooling, too, so I won't have the built-in school friendships to count on - I'll still have to work at joining homeschooling groups and making friends through playdates and whatnot.

[Raidra]

One of my problems with making friends is that while I do know a lot of people to chat with at the playground and whatnot (our playgroup has weekly meetings at parks, museums, etc), I don't see these people every day, so it's harder to form a close relationship. Plus, not everyone comes to every meeting, so a lot of times it's a few weeks between seeing specific people. We're all so busy catching up on what our kids are doing and chasing our kids that we don't have time to talk about anything else. I think that when you're working and seeing the same people every day, it's a lot easier to get to know each other better.

And even with the one person I would feel comfortable with calling up to chat or going out with in the evening.. it's still so hard to plan anything. Something usually comes up, and even with phone calls, one of our kids usually starts acting up and we have to cut the conversation short.

We're planning on homeschooling, too, so I won't have the built-in school friendships to count on - I'll still have to work at joining homeschooling groups and making friends through playdates and whatnot.

[Raidra]

One of my problems with making friends is that while I do know a lot of people to chat with at the playground and whatnot (our playgroup has weekly meetings at parks, museums, etc), I don't see these people every day, so it's harder to form a close relationship. Plus, not everyone comes to every meeting, so a lot of times it's a few weeks between seeing specific people. We're all so busy catching up on what our kids are doing and chasing our kids that we don't have time to talk about anything else. I think that when you're working and seeing the same people every day, it's a lot easier to get to know each other better.

And even with the one person I would feel comfortable with calling up to chat or going out with in the evening.. it's still so hard to plan anything. Something usually comes up, and even with phone calls, one of our kids usually starts acting up and we have to cut the conversation short.

We're planning on homeschooling, too, so I won't have the built-in school friendships to count on - I'll still have to work at joining homeschooling groups and making friends through playdates and whatnot.

[Raidra]

One of my problems with making friends is that while I do know a lot of people to chat with at the playground and whatnot (our playgroup has weekly meetings at parks, museums, etc), I don't see these people every day, so it's harder to form a close relationship. Plus, not everyone comes to every meeting, so a lot of times it's a few weeks between seeing specific people. We're all so busy catching up on what our kids are doing and chasing our kids that we don't have time to talk about anything else. I think that when you're working and seeing the same people every day, it's a lot easier to get to know each other better.

And even with the one person I would feel comfortable with calling up to chat or going out with in the evening.. it's still so hard to plan anything. Something usually comes up, and even with phone calls, one of our kids usually starts acting up and we have to cut the conversation short.

We're planning on homeschooling, too, so I won't have the built-in school friendships to count on - I'll still have to work at joining homeschooling groups and making friends through playdates and whatnot.

[Raidra]

One of my problems with making friends is that while I do know a lot of people to chat with at the playground and whatnot (our playgroup has weekly meetings at parks, museums, etc), I don't see these people every day, so it's harder to form a close relationship. Plus, not everyone comes to every meeting, so a lot of times it's a few weeks between seeing specific people. We're all so busy catching up on what our kids are doing and chasing our kids that we don't have time to talk about anything else. I think that when you're working and seeing the same people every day, it's a lot easier to get to know each other better.

And even with the one person I would feel comfortable with calling up to chat or going out with in the evening.. it's still so hard to plan anything. Something usually comes up, and even with phone calls, one of our kids usually starts acting up and we have to cut the conversation short.

We're planning on homeschooling, too, so I won't have the built-in school friendships to count on - I'll still have to work at joining homeschooling groups and making friends through playdates and whatnot.

[Raidra]

One of my problems with making friends is that while I do know a lot of people to chat with at the playground and whatnot (our playgroup has weekly meetings at parks, museums, etc), I don't see these people every day, so it's harder to form a close relationship. Plus, not everyone comes to every meeting, so a lot of times it's a few weeks between seeing specific people. We're all so busy catching up on what our kids are doing and chasing our kids that we don't have time to talk about anything else. I think that when you're working and seeing the same people every day, it's a lot easier to get to know each other better.

And even with the one person I would feel comfortable with calling up to chat or going out with in the evening.. it's still so hard to plan anything. Something usually comes up, and even with phone calls, one of our kids usually starts acting up and we have to cut the conversation short.

We're planning on homeschooling, too, so I won't have the built-in school friendships to count on - I'll still have to work at joining homeschooling groups and making friends through playdates and whatnot.

[Raidra]

One of my problems with making friends is that while I do know a lot of people to chat with at the playground and whatnot (our playgroup has weekly meetings at parks, museums, etc), I don't see these people every day, so it's harder to form a close relationship. Plus, not everyone comes to every meeting, so a lot of times it's a few weeks between seeing specific people. We're all so busy catching up on what our kids are doing and chasing our kids that we don't have time to talk about anything else. I think that when you're working and seeing the same people every day, it's a lot easier to get to know each other better.

And even with the one person I would feel comfortable with calling up to chat or going out with in the evening.. it's still so hard to plan anything. Something usually comes up, and even with phone calls, one of our kids usually starts acting up and we have to cut the conversation short.

We're planning on homeschooling, too, so I won't have the built-in school friendships to count on - I'll still have to work at joining homeschooling groups and making friends through playdates and whatnot.

[firstbaby]

I have felt a lot of what you've written here. I think my "early" mom friendships were formed with moms of babies in very close age to mine. Meaning, I had a hard time relating to moms of older children or women without children. But, with that in mind, I only had one or two other mom friends that had kids close in age to mine and we really only talked about mommy things. As DS has gotten older, I have a bigger circle of mommy friends but now it is sometimes complicated by differences in parenting style or other issues. Hang in there - I think it really gets easier to find women to form friendships with as your child gets a little older.

[firstbaby]

I have felt a lot of what you've written here. I think my "early" mom friendships were formed with moms of babies in very close age to mine. Meaning, I had a hard time relating to moms of older children or women without children. But, with that in mind, I only had one or two other mom friends that had kids close in age to mine and we really only talked about mommy things. As DS has gotten older, I have a bigger circle of mommy friends but now it is sometimes complicated by differences in parenting style or other issues. Hang in there - I think it really gets easier to find women to form friendships with as your child gets a little older.

[firstbaby]

I have felt a lot of what you've written here. I think my "early" mom friendships were formed with moms of babies in very close age to mine. Meaning, I had a hard time relating to moms of older children or women without children. But, with that in mind, I only had one or two other mom friends that had kids close in age to mine and we really only talked about mommy things. As DS has gotten older, I have a bigger circle of mommy friends but now it is sometimes complicated by differences in parenting style or other issues. Hang in there - I think it really gets easier to find women to form friendships with as your child gets a little older.

[firstbaby]

I have felt a lot of what you've written here. I think my "early" mom friendships were formed with moms of babies in very close age to mine. Meaning, I had a hard time relating to moms of older children or women without children. But, with that in mind, I only had one or two other mom friends that had kids close in age to mine and we really only talked about mommy things. As DS has gotten older, I have a bigger circle of mommy friends but now it is sometimes complicated by differences in parenting style or other issues. Hang in there - I think it really gets easier to find women to form friendships with as your child gets a little older.

[firstbaby]

I have felt a lot of what you've written here. I think my "early" mom friendships were formed with moms of babies in very close age to mine. Meaning, I had a hard time relating to moms of older children or women without children. But, with that in mind, I only had one or two other mom friends that had kids close in age to mine and we really only talked about mommy things. As DS has gotten older, I have a bigger circle of mommy friends but now it is sometimes complicated by differences in parenting style or other issues. Hang in there - I think it really gets easier to find women to form friendships with as your child gets a little older.

[firstbaby]

I have felt a lot of what you've written here. I think my "early" mom friendships were formed with moms of babies in very close age to mine. Meaning, I had a hard time relating to moms of older children or women without children. But, with that in mind, I only had one or two other mom friends that had kids close in age to mine and we really only talked about mommy things. As DS has gotten older, I have a bigger circle of mommy friends but now it is sometimes complicated by differences in parenting style or other issues. Hang in there - I think it really gets easier to find women to form friendships with as your child gets a little older.

[firstbaby]

I have felt a lot of what you've written here. I think my "early" mom friendships were formed with moms of babies in very close age to mine. Meaning, I had a hard time relating to moms of older children or women without children. But, with that in mind, I only had one or two other mom friends that had kids close in age to mine and we really only talked about mommy things. As DS has gotten older, I have a bigger circle of mommy friends but now it is sometimes complicated by differences in parenting style or other issues. Hang in there - I think it really gets easier to find women to form friendships with as your child gets a little older.

[firstbaby]

I have felt a lot of what you've written here. I think my "early" mom friendships were formed with moms of babies in very close age to mine. Meaning, I had a hard time relating to moms of older children or women without children. But, with that in mind, I only had one or two other mom friends that had kids close in age to mine and we really only talked about mommy things. As DS has gotten older, I have a bigger circle of mommy friends but now it is sometimes complicated by differences in parenting style or other issues. Hang in there - I think it really gets easier to find women to form friendships with as your child gets a little older.

[firstbaby]

I have felt a lot of what you've written here. I think my "early" mom friendships were formed with moms of babies in very close age to mine. Meaning, I had a hard time relating to moms of older children or women without children. But, with that in mind, I only had one or two other mom friends that had kids close in age to mine and we really only talked about mommy things. As DS has gotten older, I have a bigger circle of mommy friends but now it is sometimes complicated by differences in parenting style or other issues. Hang in there - I think it really gets easier to find women to form friendships with as your child gets a little older.

[sidmand]

Amy,

I totally understand what you're saying! I'm pretty shy IRL, but I've really put myself out there (even DH has remarked on how hard I've been trying!) and it's not working and it's so hard. I think (hope!) it's true that when the kids get a little older it does get easier.

I've joined the MOMS Club, but found that most activities were geared for older kids and the moms all knew each other and it was a bit hard to break in. But I've hosted playdates and gone to playdates and joined Gymboree, Music Together, a yoga class, storytime at the library...little by little it seems to be working, but there are still many many days where our activities end up to be going to the supermarket because I need to get out of the house!

I keep thinking that I actually know quite a few people I could be doing things with, but it never seems to work out. I used to make all my friends at work, although I've been freelancing for awhile (even before DS) and found it was just hard in general. I am finding that I'm starting to know and see other moms that I know when I go out places and hope that it's the start of something.

If you were closer, I'd invite you over for a playdate!

Do those groups you've joined have moms-night-out? I haven't been to too many (again, the shy part!), but I'm finding that is a good way to at least find common topics that aren't always about the DCs. I actually have two to choose from next week! A dinner with moms from one group or a movie with a different group. Both sound great to me, so I'm hoping to make it to at least one. And hopefully I'll open my mouth!

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

Amy,

I totally understand what you're saying! I'm pretty shy IRL, but I've really put myself out there (even DH has remarked on how hard I've been trying!) and it's not working and it's so hard. I think (hope!) it's true that when the kids get a little older it does get easier.

I've joined the MOMS Club, but found that most activities were geared for older kids and the moms all knew each other and it was a bit hard to break in. But I've hosted playdates and gone to playdates and joined Gymboree, Music Together, a yoga class, storytime at the library...little by little it seems to be working, but there are still many many days where our activities end up to be going to the supermarket because I need to get out of the house!

I keep thinking that I actually know quite a few people I could be doing things with, but it never seems to work out. I used to make all my friends at work, although I've been freelancing for awhile (even before DS) and found it was just hard in general. I am finding that I'm starting to know and see other moms that I know when I go out places and hope that it's the start of something.

If you were closer, I'd invite you over for a playdate!

Do those groups you've joined have moms-night-out? I haven't been to too many (again, the shy part!), but I'm finding that is a good way to at least find common topics that aren't always about the DCs. I actually have two to choose from next week! A dinner with moms from one group or a movie with a different group. Both sound great to me, so I'm hoping to make it to at least one. And hopefully I'll open my mouth!

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

Amy,

I totally understand what you're saying! I'm pretty shy IRL, but I've really put myself out there (even DH has remarked on how hard I've been trying!) and it's not working and it's so hard. I think (hope!) it's true that when the kids get a little older it does get easier.

I've joined the MOMS Club, but found that most activities were geared for older kids and the moms all knew each other and it was a bit hard to break in. But I've hosted playdates and gone to playdates and joined Gymboree, Music Together, a yoga class, storytime at the library...little by little it seems to be working, but there are still many many days where our activities end up to be going to the supermarket because I need to get out of the house!

I keep thinking that I actually know quite a few people I could be doing things with, but it never seems to work out. I used to make all my friends at work, although I've been freelancing for awhile (even before DS) and found it was just hard in general. I am finding that I'm starting to know and see other moms that I know when I go out places and hope that it's the start of something.

If you were closer, I'd invite you over for a playdate!

Do those groups you've joined have moms-night-out? I haven't been to too many (again, the shy part!), but I'm finding that is a good way to at least find common topics that aren't always about the DCs. I actually have two to choose from next week! A dinner with moms from one group or a movie with a different group. Both sound great to me, so I'm hoping to make it to at least one. And hopefully I'll open my mouth!

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

Amy,

I totally understand what you're saying! I'm pretty shy IRL, but I've really put myself out there (even DH has remarked on how hard I've been trying!) and it's not working and it's so hard. I think (hope!) it's true that when the kids get a little older it does get easier.

I've joined the MOMS Club, but found that most activities were geared for older kids and the moms all knew each other and it was a bit hard to break in. But I've hosted playdates and gone to playdates and joined Gymboree, Music Together, a yoga class, storytime at the library...little by little it seems to be working, but there are still many many days where our activities end up to be going to the supermarket because I need to get out of the house!

I keep thinking that I actually know quite a few people I could be doing things with, but it never seems to work out. I used to make all my friends at work, although I've been freelancing for awhile (even before DS) and found it was just hard in general. I am finding that I'm starting to know and see other moms that I know when I go out places and hope that it's the start of something.

If you were closer, I'd invite you over for a playdate!

Do those groups you've joined have moms-night-out? I haven't been to too many (again, the shy part!), but I'm finding that is a good way to at least find common topics that aren't always about the DCs. I actually have two to choose from next week! A dinner with moms from one group or a movie with a different group. Both sound great to me, so I'm hoping to make it to at least one. And hopefully I'll open my mouth!

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

Amy,

I totally understand what you're saying! I'm pretty shy IRL, but I've really put myself out there (even DH has remarked on how hard I've been trying!) and it's not working and it's so hard. I think (hope!) it's true that when the kids get a little older it does get easier.

I've joined the MOMS Club, but found that most activities were geared for older kids and the moms all knew each other and it was a bit hard to break in. But I've hosted playdates and gone to playdates and joined Gymboree, Music Together, a yoga class, storytime at the library...little by little it seems to be working, but there are still many many days where our activities end up to be going to the supermarket because I need to get out of the house!

I keep thinking that I actually know quite a few people I could be doing things with, but it never seems to work out. I used to make all my friends at work, although I've been freelancing for awhile (even before DS) and found it was just hard in general. I am finding that I'm starting to know and see other moms that I know when I go out places and hope that it's the start of something.

If you were closer, I'd invite you over for a playdate!

Do those groups you've joined have moms-night-out? I haven't been to too many (again, the shy part!), but I'm finding that is a good way to at least find common topics that aren't always about the DCs. I actually have two to choose from next week! A dinner with moms from one group or a movie with a different group. Both sound great to me, so I'm hoping to make it to at least one. And hopefully I'll open my mouth!

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

Amy,

I totally understand what you're saying! I'm pretty shy IRL, but I've really put myself out there (even DH has remarked on how hard I've been trying!) and it's not working and it's so hard. I think (hope!) it's true that when the kids get a little older it does get easier.

I've joined the MOMS Club, but found that most activities were geared for older kids and the moms all knew each other and it was a bit hard to break in. But I've hosted playdates and gone to playdates and joined Gymboree, Music Together, a yoga class, storytime at the library...little by little it seems to be working, but there are still many many days where our activities end up to be going to the supermarket because I need to get out of the house!

I keep thinking that I actually know quite a few people I could be doing things with, but it never seems to work out. I used to make all my friends at work, although I've been freelancing for awhile (even before DS) and found it was just hard in general. I am finding that I'm starting to know and see other moms that I know when I go out places and hope that it's the start of something.

If you were closer, I'd invite you over for a playdate!

Do those groups you've joined have moms-night-out? I haven't been to too many (again, the shy part!), but I'm finding that is a good way to at least find common topics that aren't always about the DCs. I actually have two to choose from next week! A dinner with moms from one group or a movie with a different group. Both sound great to me, so I'm hoping to make it to at least one. And hopefully I'll open my mouth!

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

Amy,

I totally understand what you're saying! I'm pretty shy IRL, but I've really put myself out there (even DH has remarked on how hard I've been trying!) and it's not working and it's so hard. I think (hope!) it's true that when the kids get a little older it does get easier.

I've joined the MOMS Club, but found that most activities were geared for older kids and the moms all knew each other and it was a bit hard to break in. But I've hosted playdates and gone to playdates and joined Gymboree, Music Together, a yoga class, storytime at the library...little by little it seems to be working, but there are still many many days where our activities end up to be going to the supermarket because I need to get out of the house!

I keep thinking that I actually know quite a few people I could be doing things with, but it never seems to work out. I used to make all my friends at work, although I've been freelancing for awhile (even before DS) and found it was just hard in general. I am finding that I'm starting to know and see other moms that I know when I go out places and hope that it's the start of something.

If you were closer, I'd invite you over for a playdate!

Do those groups you've joined have moms-night-out? I haven't been to too many (again, the shy part!), but I'm finding that is a good way to at least find common topics that aren't always about the DCs. I actually have two to choose from next week! A dinner with moms from one group or a movie with a different group. Both sound great to me, so I'm hoping to make it to at least one. And hopefully I'll open my mouth!

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

Amy,

I totally understand what you're saying! I'm pretty shy IRL, but I've really put myself out there (even DH has remarked on how hard I've been trying!) and it's not working and it's so hard. I think (hope!) it's true that when the kids get a little older it does get easier.

I've joined the MOMS Club, but found that most activities were geared for older kids and the moms all knew each other and it was a bit hard to break in. But I've hosted playdates and gone to playdates and joined Gymboree, Music Together, a yoga class, storytime at the library...little by little it seems to be working, but there are still many many days where our activities end up to be going to the supermarket because I need to get out of the house!

I keep thinking that I actually know quite a few people I could be doing things with, but it never seems to work out. I used to make all my friends at work, although I've been freelancing for awhile (even before DS) and found it was just hard in general. I am finding that I'm starting to know and see other moms that I know when I go out places and hope that it's the start of something.

If you were closer, I'd invite you over for a playdate!

Do those groups you've joined have moms-night-out? I haven't been to too many (again, the shy part!), but I'm finding that is a good way to at least find common topics that aren't always about the DCs. I actually have two to choose from next week! A dinner with moms from one group or a movie with a different group. Both sound great to me, so I'm hoping to make it to at least one. And hopefully I'll open my mouth!

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

Amy,

I totally understand what you're saying! I'm pretty shy IRL, but I've really put myself out there (even DH has remarked on how hard I've been trying!) and it's not working and it's so hard. I think (hope!) it's true that when the kids get a little older it does get easier.

I've joined the MOMS Club, but found that most activities were geared for older kids and the moms all knew each other and it was a bit hard to break in. But I've hosted playdates and gone to playdates and joined Gymboree, Music Together, a yoga class, storytime at the library...little by little it seems to be working, but there are still many many days where our activities end up to be going to the supermarket because I need to get out of the house!

I keep thinking that I actually know quite a few people I could be doing things with, but it never seems to work out. I used to make all my friends at work, although I've been freelancing for awhile (even before DS) and found it was just hard in general. I am finding that I'm starting to know and see other moms that I know when I go out places and hope that it's the start of something.

If you were closer, I'd invite you over for a playdate!

Do those groups you've joined have moms-night-out? I haven't been to too many (again, the shy part!), but I'm finding that is a good way to at least find common topics that aren't always about the DCs. I actually have two to choose from next week! A dinner with moms from one group or a movie with a different group. Both sound great to me, so I'm hoping to make it to at least one. And hopefully I'll open my mouth!

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[nfowife]

I'm with you. I have a really great playgroup, but it hasn't seemed to evolve to the "good friends" level I was hoping for. I don't feel like I can call any of them to just chit chat whenever. And while I like the Mom's club, it's like a pp posted that the same people don't go to all the activities so you don't see them all the time. I don't miss my old job AT ALL but I do really miss the friendships that came with it. I just haven't found a really good friend like I had when I was working and I really do miss that. Plus DH is in the military so we have moved a few times since I worked and so I can't call my old friends to get together even on weekends or whatever. It's gotten better but we have LOTS, PLENTY of days where the activity of the day is Target just so we can get out of the house! Or the mall play area (alone!), etc. Plus my neighborhood doesn't have a ton of young families so we aren't really friendly with anyone in here. It's not horrible, but it is lonely. DH travels a lot for work (he's gone now for the next 2 weeks) and there are days where I literally don't talk to anyone but DD, how sad is that!
Hang in there, hopefully it will get better for both of us!

[nfowife]

I'm with you. I have a really great playgroup, but it hasn't seemed to evolve to the "good friends" level I was hoping for. I don't feel like I can call any of them to just chit chat whenever. And while I like the Mom's club, it's like a pp posted that the same people don't go to all the activities so you don't see them all the time. I don't miss my old job AT ALL but I do really miss the friendships that came with it. I just haven't found a really good friend like I had when I was working and I really do miss that. Plus DH is in the military so we have moved a few times since I worked and so I can't call my old friends to get together even on weekends or whatever. It's gotten better but we have LOTS, PLENTY of days where the activity of the day is Target just so we can get out of the house! Or the mall play area (alone!), etc. Plus my neighborhood doesn't have a ton of young families so we aren't really friendly with anyone in here. It's not horrible, but it is lonely. DH travels a lot for work (he's gone now for the next 2 weeks) and there are days where I literally don't talk to anyone but DD, how sad is that!
Hang in there, hopefully it will get better for both of us!

[nfowife]

I'm with you. I have a really great playgroup, but it hasn't seemed to evolve to the "good friends" level I was hoping for. I don't feel like I can call any of them to just chit chat whenever. And while I like the Mom's club, it's like a pp posted that the same people don't go to all the activities so you don't see them all the time. I don't miss my old job AT ALL but I do really miss the friendships that came with it. I just haven't found a really good friend like I had when I was working and I really do miss that. Plus DH is in the military so we have moved a few times since I worked and so I can't call my old friends to get together even on weekends or whatever. It's gotten better but we have LOTS, PLENTY of days where the activity of the day is Target just so we can get out of the house! Or the mall play area (alone!), etc. Plus my neighborhood doesn't have a ton of young families so we aren't really friendly with anyone in here. It's not horrible, but it is lonely. DH travels a lot for work (he's gone now for the next 2 weeks) and there are days where I literally don't talk to anyone but DD, how sad is that!
Hang in there, hopefully it will get better for both of us!

[nfowife]

I'm with you. I have a really great playgroup, but it hasn't seemed to evolve to the "good friends" level I was hoping for. I don't feel like I can call any of them to just chit chat whenever. And while I like the Mom's club, it's like a pp posted that the same people don't go to all the activities so you don't see them all the time. I don't miss my old job AT ALL but I do really miss the friendships that came with it. I just haven't found a really good friend like I had when I was working and I really do miss that. Plus DH is in the military so we have moved a few times since I worked and so I can't call my old friends to get together even on weekends or whatever. It's gotten better but we have LOTS, PLENTY of days where the activity of the day is Target just so we can get out of the house! Or the mall play area (alone!), etc. Plus my neighborhood doesn't have a ton of young families so we aren't really friendly with anyone in here. It's not horrible, but it is lonely. DH travels a lot for work (he's gone now for the next 2 weeks) and there are days where I literally don't talk to anyone but DD, how sad is that!
Hang in there, hopefully it will get better for both of us!

[nfowife]

I'm with you. I have a really great playgroup, but it hasn't seemed to evolve to the "good friends" level I was hoping for. I don't feel like I can call any of them to just chit chat whenever. And while I like the Mom's club, it's like a pp posted that the same people don't go to all the activities so you don't see them all the time. I don't miss my old job AT ALL but I do really miss the friendships that came with it. I just haven't found a really good friend like I had when I was working and I really do miss that. Plus DH is in the military so we have moved a few times since I worked and so I can't call my old friends to get together even on weekends or whatever. It's gotten better but we have LOTS, PLENTY of days where the activity of the day is Target just so we can get out of the house! Or the mall play area (alone!), etc. Plus my neighborhood doesn't have a ton of young families so we aren't really friendly with anyone in here. It's not horrible, but it is lonely. DH travels a lot for work (he's gone now for the next 2 weeks) and there are days where I literally don't talk to anyone but DD, how sad is that!
Hang in there, hopefully it will get better for both of us!

[nfowife]

I'm with you. I have a really great playgroup, but it hasn't seemed to evolve to the "good friends" level I was hoping for. I don't feel like I can call any of them to just chit chat whenever. And while I like the Mom's club, it's like a pp posted that the same people don't go to all the activities so you don't see them all the time. I don't miss my old job AT ALL but I do really miss the friendships that came with it. I just haven't found a really good friend like I had when I was working and I really do miss that. Plus DH is in the military so we have moved a few times since I worked and so I can't call my old friends to get together even on weekends or whatever. It's gotten better but we have LOTS, PLENTY of days where the activity of the day is Target just so we can get out of the house! Or the mall play area (alone!), etc. Plus my neighborhood doesn't have a ton of young families so we aren't really friendly with anyone in here. It's not horrible, but it is lonely. DH travels a lot for work (he's gone now for the next 2 weeks) and there are days where I literally don't talk to anyone but DD, how sad is that!
Hang in there, hopefully it will get better for both of us!

[nfowife]

I'm with you. I have a really great playgroup, but it hasn't seemed to evolve to the "good friends" level I was hoping for. I don't feel like I can call any of them to just chit chat whenever. And while I like the Mom's club, it's like a pp posted that the same people don't go to all the activities so you don't see them all the time. I don't miss my old job AT ALL but I do really miss the friendships that came with it. I just haven't found a really good friend like I had when I was working and I really do miss that. Plus DH is in the military so we have moved a few times since I worked and so I can't call my old friends to get together even on weekends or whatever. It's gotten better but we have LOTS, PLENTY of days where the activity of the day is Target just so we can get out of the house! Or the mall play area (alone!), etc. Plus my neighborhood doesn't have a ton of young families so we aren't really friendly with anyone in here. It's not horrible, but it is lonely. DH travels a lot for work (he's gone now for the next 2 weeks) and there are days where I literally don't talk to anyone but DD, how sad is that!
Hang in there, hopefully it will get better for both of us!

[nfowife]

I'm with you. I have a really great playgroup, but it hasn't seemed to evolve to the "good friends" level I was hoping for. I don't feel like I can call any of them to just chit chat whenever. And while I like the Mom's club, it's like a pp posted that the same people don't go to all the activities so you don't see them all the time. I don't miss my old job AT ALL but I do really miss the friendships that came with it. I just haven't found a really good friend like I had when I was working and I really do miss that. Plus DH is in the military so we have moved a few times since I worked and so I can't call my old friends to get together even on weekends or whatever. It's gotten better but we have LOTS, PLENTY of days where the activity of the day is Target just so we can get out of the house! Or the mall play area (alone!), etc. Plus my neighborhood doesn't have a ton of young families so we aren't really friendly with anyone in here. It's not horrible, but it is lonely. DH travels a lot for work (he's gone now for the next 2 weeks) and there are days where I literally don't talk to anyone but DD, how sad is that!
Hang in there, hopefully it will get better for both of us!

[nfowife]

I'm with you. I have a really great playgroup, but it hasn't seemed to evolve to the "good friends" level I was hoping for. I don't feel like I can call any of them to just chit chat whenever. And while I like the Mom's club, it's like a pp posted that the same people don't go to all the activities so you don't see them all the time. I don't miss my old job AT ALL but I do really miss the friendships that came with it. I just haven't found a really good friend like I had when I was working and I really do miss that. Plus DH is in the military so we have moved a few times since I worked and so I can't call my old friends to get together even on weekends or whatever. It's gotten better but we have LOTS, PLENTY of days where the activity of the day is Target just so we can get out of the house! Or the mall play area (alone!), etc. Plus my neighborhood doesn't have a ton of young families so we aren't really friendly with anyone in here. It's not horrible, but it is lonely. DH travels a lot for work (he's gone now for the next 2 weeks) and there are days where I literally don't talk to anyone but DD, how sad is that!
Hang in there, hopefully it will get better for both of us!

[oliviasmomma]

I am so glad I'm not alone in this feeling! I used to have a great circle of friends and active social life. Now we live in the country, have a 14mo DD and I can't seem to connect with anyone. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not the only one!

LOL at the supermarket field trips! Not to mention the exciting trips to the bank, accountant, dr office, etc! I've also done MOPS and MOMS, but MOMS does seem to be geared toward older kids, and MOPS is a little cliquey. They're nice, and I got along with everyone, but like pp said, all the moms are so busy with their own brood it's hard to do much more.

[oliviasmomma]

I am so glad I'm not alone in this feeling! I used to have a great circle of friends and active social life. Now we live in the country, have a 14mo DD and I can't seem to connect with anyone. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not the only one!

LOL at the supermarket field trips! Not to mention the exciting trips to the bank, accountant, dr office, etc! I've also done MOPS and MOMS, but MOMS does seem to be geared toward older kids, and MOPS is a little cliquey. They're nice, and I got along with everyone, but like pp said, all the moms are so busy with their own brood it's hard to do much more.

[oliviasmomma]

I am so glad I'm not alone in this feeling! I used to have a great circle of friends and active social life. Now we live in the country, have a 14mo DD and I can't seem to connect with anyone. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not the only one!

LOL at the supermarket field trips! Not to mention the exciting trips to the bank, accountant, dr office, etc! I've also done MOPS and MOMS, but MOMS does seem to be geared toward older kids, and MOPS is a little cliquey. They're nice, and I got along with everyone, but like pp said, all the moms are so busy with their own brood it's hard to do much more.

[oliviasmomma]

I am so glad I'm not alone in this feeling! I used to have a great circle of friends and active social life. Now we live in the country, have a 14mo DD and I can't seem to connect with anyone. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not the only one!

LOL at the supermarket field trips! Not to mention the exciting trips to the bank, accountant, dr office, etc! I've also done MOPS and MOMS, but MOMS does seem to be geared toward older kids, and MOPS is a little cliquey. They're nice, and I got along with everyone, but like pp said, all the moms are so busy with their own brood it's hard to do much more.

[oliviasmomma]

I am so glad I'm not alone in this feeling! I used to have a great circle of friends and active social life. Now we live in the country, have a 14mo DD and I can't seem to connect with anyone. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not the only one!

LOL at the supermarket field trips! Not to mention the exciting trips to the bank, accountant, dr office, etc! I've also done MOPS and MOMS, but MOMS does seem to be geared toward older kids, and MOPS is a little cliquey. They're nice, and I got along with everyone, but like pp said, all the moms are so busy with their own brood it's hard to do much more.

[oliviasmomma]

I am so glad I'm not alone in this feeling! I used to have a great circle of friends and active social life. Now we live in the country, have a 14mo DD and I can't seem to connect with anyone. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not the only one!

LOL at the supermarket field trips! Not to mention the exciting trips to the bank, accountant, dr office, etc! I've also done MOPS and MOMS, but MOMS does seem to be geared toward older kids, and MOPS is a little cliquey. They're nice, and I got along with everyone, but like pp said, all the moms are so busy with their own brood it's hard to do much more.

[oliviasmomma]

I am so glad I'm not alone in this feeling! I used to have a great circle of friends and active social life. Now we live in the country, have a 14mo DD and I can't seem to connect with anyone. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not the only one!

LOL at the supermarket field trips! Not to mention the exciting trips to the bank, accountant, dr office, etc! I've also done MOPS and MOMS, but MOMS does seem to be geared toward older kids, and MOPS is a little cliquey. They're nice, and I got along with everyone, but like pp said, all the moms are so busy with their own brood it's hard to do much more.

[oliviasmomma]

I am so glad I'm not alone in this feeling! I used to have a great circle of friends and active social life. Now we live in the country, have a 14mo DD and I can't seem to connect with anyone. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not the only one!

LOL at the supermarket field trips! Not to mention the exciting trips to the bank, accountant, dr office, etc! I've also done MOPS and MOMS, but MOMS does seem to be geared toward older kids, and MOPS is a little cliquey. They're nice, and I got along with everyone, but like pp said, all the moms are so busy with their own brood it's hard to do much more.

[oliviasmomma]

I am so glad I'm not alone in this feeling! I used to have a great circle of friends and active social life. Now we live in the country, have a 14mo DD and I can't seem to connect with anyone. I wish I had some advice, but just know you're not the only one!

LOL at the supermarket field trips! Not to mention the exciting trips to the bank, accountant, dr office, etc! I've also done MOPS and MOMS, but MOMS does seem to be geared toward older kids, and MOPS is a little cliquey. They're nice, and I got along with everyone, but like pp said, all the moms are so busy with their own brood it's hard to do much more.

[pampamz]

I totally understand -- I felt this way with DS (my first DC) when I was out on a year maternity leave. I had such high hopes for my mommy-groups but it really was sucky, for lack of a better word. I joined every playgroup out there just to keep DS & I sane. But, no *mommy-kinships* ever came of them and off back to work I went.

With DD things are much different. I'm back on maternity leave and it's not so lonely during the day -- one major contributing factor: DS!!! He and I keep each other company ALOT. It is so different having someone to chat with while I'm home with his little sister.

Also, like PP said, the older they get the easier it is to chat up another mom at the playground because the kids migrate to one another. We can sit on a bench and chat. I still don't have the nerve to get more social outside of the playground but maybe one of these days...!

You are not alone in feeling this way :)

[pampamz]

I totally understand -- I felt this way with DS (my first DC) when I was out on a year maternity leave. I had such high hopes for my mommy-groups but it really was sucky, for lack of a better word. I joined every playgroup out there just to keep DS & I sane. But, no *mommy-kinships* ever came of them and off back to work I went.

With DD things are much different. I'm back on maternity leave and it's not so lonely during the day -- one major contributing factor: DS!!! He and I keep each other company ALOT. It is so different having someone to chat with while I'm home with his little sister.

Also, like PP said, the older they get the easier it is to chat up another mom at the playground because the kids migrate to one another. We can sit on a bench and chat. I still don't have the nerve to get more social outside of the playground but maybe one of these days...!

You are not alone in feeling this way :)

[pampamz]

I totally understand -- I felt this way with DS (my first DC) when I was out on a year maternity leave. I had such high hopes for my mommy-groups but it really was sucky, for lack of a better word. I joined every playgroup out there just to keep DS & I sane. But, no *mommy-kinships* ever came of them and off back to work I went.

With DD things are much different. I'm back on maternity leave and it's not so lonely during the day -- one major contributing factor: DS!!! He and I keep each other company ALOT. It is so different having someone to chat with while I'm home with his little sister.

Also, like PP said, the older they get the easier it is to chat up another mom at the playground because the kids migrate to one another. We can sit on a bench and chat. I still don't have the nerve to get more social outside of the playground but maybe one of these days...!

You are not alone in feeling this way :)

[pampamz]

I totally understand -- I felt this way with DS (my first DC) when I was out on a year maternity leave. I had such high hopes for my mommy-groups but it really was sucky, for lack of a better word. I joined every playgroup out there just to keep DS & I sane. But, no *mommy-kinships* ever came of them and off back to work I went.

With DD things are much different. I'm back on maternity leave and it's not so lonely during the day -- one major contributing factor: DS!!! He and I keep each other company ALOT. It is so different having someone to chat with while I'm home with his little sister.

Also, like PP said, the older they get the easier it is to chat up another mom at the playground because the kids migrate to one another. We can sit on a bench and chat. I still don't have the nerve to get more social outside of the playground but maybe one of these days...!

You are not alone in feeling this way :)

[pampamz]

I totally understand -- I felt this way with DS (my first DC) when I was out on a year maternity leave. I had such high hopes for my mommy-groups but it really was sucky, for lack of a better word. I joined every playgroup out there just to keep DS & I sane. But, no *mommy-kinships* ever came of them and off back to work I went.

With DD things are much different. I'm back on maternity leave and it's not so lonely during the day -- one major contributing factor: DS!!! He and I keep each other company ALOT. It is so different having someone to chat with while I'm home with his little sister.

Also, like PP said, the older they get the easier it is to chat up another mom at the playground because the kids migrate to one another. We can sit on a bench and chat. I still don't have the nerve to get more social outside of the playground but maybe one of these days...!

You are not alone in feeling this way :)

[pampamz]

I totally understand -- I felt this way with DS (my first DC) when I was out on a year maternity leave. I had such high hopes for my mommy-groups but it really was sucky, for lack of a better word. I joined every playgroup out there just to keep DS & I sane. But, no *mommy-kinships* ever came of them and off back to work I went.

With DD things are much different. I'm back on maternity leave and it's not so lonely during the day -- one major contributing factor: DS!!! He and I keep each other company ALOT. It is so different having someone to chat with while I'm home with his little sister.

Also, like PP said, the older they get the easier it is to chat up another mom at the playground because the kids migrate to one another. We can sit on a bench and chat. I still don't have the nerve to get more social outside of the playground but maybe one of these days...!

You are not alone in feeling this way :)

[pampamz]

I totally understand -- I felt this way with DS (my first DC) when I was out on a year maternity leave. I had such high hopes for my mommy-groups but it really was sucky, for lack of a better word. I joined every playgroup out there just to keep DS & I sane. But, no *mommy-kinships* ever came of them and off back to work I went.

With DD things are much different. I'm back on maternity leave and it's not so lonely during the day -- one major contributing factor: DS!!! He and I keep each other company ALOT. It is so different having someone to chat with while I'm home with his little sister.

Also, like PP said, the older they get the easier it is to chat up another mom at the playground because the kids migrate to one another. We can sit on a bench and chat. I still don't have the nerve to get more social outside of the playground but maybe one of these days...!

You are not alone in feeling this way :)

[pampamz]

I totally understand -- I felt this way with DS (my first DC) when I was out on a year maternity leave. I had such high hopes for my mommy-groups but it really was sucky, for lack of a better word. I joined every playgroup out there just to keep DS & I sane. But, no *mommy-kinships* ever came of them and off back to work I went.

With DD things are much different. I'm back on maternity leave and it's not so lonely during the day -- one major contributing factor: DS!!! He and I keep each other company ALOT. It is so different having someone to chat with while I'm home with his little sister.

Also, like PP said, the older they get the easier it is to chat up another mom at the playground because the kids migrate to one another. We can sit on a bench and chat. I still don't have the nerve to get more social outside of the playground but maybe one of these days...!

You are not alone in feeling this way :)

[pampamz]

I totally understand -- I felt this way with DS (my first DC) when I was out on a year maternity leave. I had such high hopes for my mommy-groups but it really was sucky, for lack of a better word. I joined every playgroup out there just to keep DS & I sane. But, no *mommy-kinships* ever came of them and off back to work I went.

With DD things are much different. I'm back on maternity leave and it's not so lonely during the day -- one major contributing factor: DS!!! He and I keep each other company ALOT. It is so different having someone to chat with while I'm home with his little sister.

Also, like PP said, the older they get the easier it is to chat up another mom at the playground because the kids migrate to one another. We can sit on a bench and chat. I still don't have the nerve to get more social outside of the playground but maybe one of these days...!

You are not alone in feeling this way :)

[chlobo]

I totally feel the same way. I'm in 3 playgroups and still haven't found any special friends. I have been putting myself out there too so its been very frustrating. I am glad I'm not alone in how I feel. Too bad we can't all form a club. LOL.

[chlobo]

I totally feel the same way. I'm in 3 playgroups and still haven't found any special friends. I have been putting myself out there too so its been very frustrating. I am glad I'm not alone in how I feel. Too bad we can't all form a club. LOL.

[chlobo]

I totally feel the same way. I'm in 3 playgroups and still haven't found any special friends. I have been putting myself out there too so its been very frustrating. I am glad I'm not alone in how I feel. Too bad we can't all form a club. LOL.

[chlobo]

I totally feel the same way. I'm in 3 playgroups and still haven't found any special friends. I have been putting myself out there too so its been very frustrating. I am glad I'm not alone in how I feel. Too bad we can't all form a club. LOL.

[chlobo]

I totally feel the same way. I'm in 3 playgroups and still haven't found any special friends. I have been putting myself out there too so its been very frustrating. I am glad I'm not alone in how I feel. Too bad we can't all form a club. LOL.

[chlobo]

I totally feel the same way. I'm in 3 playgroups and still haven't found any special friends. I have been putting myself out there too so its been very frustrating. I am glad I'm not alone in how I feel. Too bad we can't all form a club. LOL.

[chlobo]

I totally feel the same way. I'm in 3 playgroups and still haven't found any special friends. I have been putting myself out there too so its been very frustrating. I am glad I'm not alone in how I feel. Too bad we can't all form a club. LOL.

[chlobo]

I totally feel the same way. I'm in 3 playgroups and still haven't found any special friends. I have been putting myself out there too so its been very frustrating. I am glad I'm not alone in how I feel. Too bad we can't all form a club. LOL.

[chlobo]

I totally feel the same way. I'm in 3 playgroups and still haven't found any special friends. I have been putting myself out there too so its been very frustrating. I am glad I'm not alone in how I feel. Too bad we can't all form a club. LOL.

[american_mama]

Amy:

I agree with what you and many others have said. I don't know if I'm in any place to offer advice, since I do feel the same, but two specific things have worked for me. First, getting involved in... excuse the obnoxious phrase... involved in a leadership position in a playgroup helped me in two different cities. Before, I always felt on the fringe, but becoming the designated person for X made me more in the center of things. Plus, it either signalled or soon led to a transition in active members, and the new members and I meshed better, plus I was the experienced member instead of a newbie.

The second things that works is having another child! As pampamz said, they keep you busy and the older child is companionship.

My other question would be is there anyone you can call during the day and just say hey, haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing, did you see X on TV/in the paper/on the internet? What did you do before having kids? DO you miss it? It gets you talking about something non-kid related. In my case, I occasionally have this conversation with a person in my MOMS Club who I asked to take care of my DD for a day when I had to go to my grandma's funeral. If you had to leave DS for a funeral or something unexpected, who would you ask? Maybe work on developing that relationship.

It helps that this particular person had also invited DH and I over for dinner. I have yet to do that, but a dinner (or brunch... easier for parents and kids) invitation is also a way to get a friendship rolling.

[american_mama]

Amy:

I agree with what you and many others have said. I don't know if I'm in any place to offer advice, since I do feel the same, but two specific things have worked for me. First, getting involved in... excuse the obnoxious phrase... involved in a leadership position in a playgroup helped me in two different cities. Before, I always felt on the fringe, but becoming the designated person for X made me more in the center of things. Plus, it either signalled or soon led to a transition in active members, and the new members and I meshed better, plus I was the experienced member instead of a newbie.

The second things that works is having another child! As pampamz said, they keep you busy and the older child is companionship.

My other question would be is there anyone you can call during the day and just say hey, haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing, did you see X on TV/in the paper/on the internet? What did you do before having kids? DO you miss it? It gets you talking about something non-kid related. In my case, I occasionally have this conversation with a person in my MOMS Club who I asked to take care of my DD for a day when I had to go to my grandma's funeral. If you had to leave DS for a funeral or something unexpected, who would you ask? Maybe work on developing that relationship.

It helps that this particular person had also invited DH and I over for dinner. I have yet to do that, but a dinner (or brunch... easier for parents and kids) invitation is also a way to get a friendship rolling.

[american_mama]

Amy:

I agree with what you and many others have said. I don't know if I'm in any place to offer advice, since I do feel the same, but two specific things have worked for me. First, getting involved in... excuse the obnoxious phrase... involved in a leadership position in a playgroup helped me in two different cities. Before, I always felt on the fringe, but becoming the designated person for X made me more in the center of things. Plus, it either signalled or soon led to a transition in active members, and the new members and I meshed better, plus I was the experienced member instead of a newbie.

The second things that works is having another child! As pampamz said, they keep you busy and the older child is companionship.

My other question would be is there anyone you can call during the day and just say hey, haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing, did you see X on TV/in the paper/on the internet? What did you do before having kids? DO you miss it? It gets you talking about something non-kid related. In my case, I occasionally have this conversation with a person in my MOMS Club who I asked to take care of my DD for a day when I had to go to my grandma's funeral. If you had to leave DS for a funeral or something unexpected, who would you ask? Maybe work on developing that relationship.

It helps that this particular person had also invited DH and I over for dinner. I have yet to do that, but a dinner (or brunch... easier for parents and kids) invitation is also a way to get a friendship rolling.

[american_mama]

Amy:

I agree with what you and many others have said. I don't know if I'm in any place to offer advice, since I do feel the same, but two specific things have worked for me. First, getting involved in... excuse the obnoxious phrase... involved in a leadership position in a playgroup helped me in two different cities. Before, I always felt on the fringe, but becoming the designated person for X made me more in the center of things. Plus, it either signalled or soon led to a transition in active members, and the new members and I meshed better, plus I was the experienced member instead of a newbie.

The second things that works is having another child! As pampamz said, they keep you busy and the older child is companionship.

My other question would be is there anyone you can call during the day and just say hey, haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing, did you see X on TV/in the paper/on the internet? What did you do before having kids? DO you miss it? It gets you talking about something non-kid related. In my case, I occasionally have this conversation with a person in my MOMS Club who I asked to take care of my DD for a day when I had to go to my grandma's funeral. If you had to leave DS for a funeral or something unexpected, who would you ask? Maybe work on developing that relationship.

It helps that this particular person had also invited DH and I over for dinner. I have yet to do that, but a dinner (or brunch... easier for parents and kids) invitation is also a way to get a friendship rolling.

[american_mama]

Amy:

I agree with what you and many others have said. I don't know if I'm in any place to offer advice, since I do feel the same, but two specific things have worked for me. First, getting involved in... excuse the obnoxious phrase... involved in a leadership position in a playgroup helped me in two different cities. Before, I always felt on the fringe, but becoming the designated person for X made me more in the center of things. Plus, it either signalled or soon led to a transition in active members, and the new members and I meshed better, plus I was the experienced member instead of a newbie.

The second things that works is having another child! As pampamz said, they keep you busy and the older child is companionship.

My other question would be is there anyone you can call during the day and just say hey, haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing, did you see X on TV/in the paper/on the internet? What did you do before having kids? DO you miss it? It gets you talking about something non-kid related. In my case, I occasionally have this conversation with a person in my MOMS Club who I asked to take care of my DD for a day when I had to go to my grandma's funeral. If you had to leave DS for a funeral or something unexpected, who would you ask? Maybe work on developing that relationship.

It helps that this particular person had also invited DH and I over for dinner. I have yet to do that, but a dinner (or brunch... easier for parents and kids) invitation is also a way to get a friendship rolling.

[american_mama]

Amy:

I agree with what you and many others have said. I don't know if I'm in any place to offer advice, since I do feel the same, but two specific things have worked for me. First, getting involved in... excuse the obnoxious phrase... involved in a leadership position in a playgroup helped me in two different cities. Before, I always felt on the fringe, but becoming the designated person for X made me more in the center of things. Plus, it either signalled or soon led to a transition in active members, and the new members and I meshed better, plus I was the experienced member instead of a newbie.

The second things that works is having another child! As pampamz said, they keep you busy and the older child is companionship.

My other question would be is there anyone you can call during the day and just say hey, haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing, did you see X on TV/in the paper/on the internet? What did you do before having kids? DO you miss it? It gets you talking about something non-kid related. In my case, I occasionally have this conversation with a person in my MOMS Club who I asked to take care of my DD for a day when I had to go to my grandma's funeral. If you had to leave DS for a funeral or something unexpected, who would you ask? Maybe work on developing that relationship.

It helps that this particular person had also invited DH and I over for dinner. I have yet to do that, but a dinner (or brunch... easier for parents and kids) invitation is also a way to get a friendship rolling.

[american_mama]

Amy:

I agree with what you and many others have said. I don't know if I'm in any place to offer advice, since I do feel the same, but two specific things have worked for me. First, getting involved in... excuse the obnoxious phrase... involved in a leadership position in a playgroup helped me in two different cities. Before, I always felt on the fringe, but becoming the designated person for X made me more in the center of things. Plus, it either signalled or soon led to a transition in active members, and the new members and I meshed better, plus I was the experienced member instead of a newbie.

The second things that works is having another child! As pampamz said, they keep you busy and the older child is companionship.

My other question would be is there anyone you can call during the day and just say hey, haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing, did you see X on TV/in the paper/on the internet? What did you do before having kids? DO you miss it? It gets you talking about something non-kid related. In my case, I occasionally have this conversation with a person in my MOMS Club who I asked to take care of my DD for a day when I had to go to my grandma's funeral. If you had to leave DS for a funeral or something unexpected, who would you ask? Maybe work on developing that relationship.

It helps that this particular person had also invited DH and I over for dinner. I have yet to do that, but a dinner (or brunch... easier for parents and kids) invitation is also a way to get a friendship rolling.

[american_mama]

Amy:

I agree with what you and many others have said. I don't know if I'm in any place to offer advice, since I do feel the same, but two specific things have worked for me. First, getting involved in... excuse the obnoxious phrase... involved in a leadership position in a playgroup helped me in two different cities. Before, I always felt on the fringe, but becoming the designated person for X made me more in the center of things. Plus, it either signalled or soon led to a transition in active members, and the new members and I meshed better, plus I was the experienced member instead of a newbie.

The second things that works is having another child! As pampamz said, they keep you busy and the older child is companionship.

My other question would be is there anyone you can call during the day and just say hey, haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing, did you see X on TV/in the paper/on the internet? What did you do before having kids? DO you miss it? It gets you talking about something non-kid related. In my case, I occasionally have this conversation with a person in my MOMS Club who I asked to take care of my DD for a day when I had to go to my grandma's funeral. If you had to leave DS for a funeral or something unexpected, who would you ask? Maybe work on developing that relationship.

It helps that this particular person had also invited DH and I over for dinner. I have yet to do that, but a dinner (or brunch... easier for parents and kids) invitation is also a way to get a friendship rolling.

[american_mama]

Amy:

I agree with what you and many others have said. I don't know if I'm in any place to offer advice, since I do feel the same, but two specific things have worked for me. First, getting involved in... excuse the obnoxious phrase... involved in a leadership position in a playgroup helped me in two different cities. Before, I always felt on the fringe, but becoming the designated person for X made me more in the center of things. Plus, it either signalled or soon led to a transition in active members, and the new members and I meshed better, plus I was the experienced member instead of a newbie.

The second things that works is having another child! As pampamz said, they keep you busy and the older child is companionship.

My other question would be is there anyone you can call during the day and just say hey, haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing, did you see X on TV/in the paper/on the internet? What did you do before having kids? DO you miss it? It gets you talking about something non-kid related. In my case, I occasionally have this conversation with a person in my MOMS Club who I asked to take care of my DD for a day when I had to go to my grandma's funeral. If you had to leave DS for a funeral or something unexpected, who would you ask? Maybe work on developing that relationship.

It helps that this particular person had also invited DH and I over for dinner. I have yet to do that, but a dinner (or brunch... easier for parents and kids) invitation is also a way to get a friendship rolling.

[firsttimemommy]

Big hugs Amy - I ditto so much of what you and others have said. Mommy groups were difficult, esp if you were the newbie - they would *try* to be nice but they already had their "groups" formed within the group and you felt like an outsider. I never hung around long enough to try to "break in" appropriately, but I have little patience.

DH also did the same as your DH - and it annoyed me to no end. I was always so excited for him to come home and have adult conversation. But he wanted TV. :( The seperate lives thing was an issue for me too. And it sucked to bear the entire burden of kids/house, etc. At least DH had "down" time in front of the TV. I had none.

It didn't help that we lived 25 miles from any of the "action" - we were country folk for most of my SAHM days. Driving in to "town" was such an effort with two little ones and then you figured in the cost of gas and you felt guilty NOT going to the store, bank, po, etc and then your day was gone.

I also agree as the kids get older you can "relax" a bit more and really TALK to other women. When they are babies it really is all about them.

I did have two friends that I taught with pre-baby that I hung out with, but even with them all we talked about was our kids!

Give it time, and you know you have the ladies here. Also, maybe at some point you can bring this up with one of your mommy group friends - look at all the coversation and bonding that occured HERE from your post :) HTH a little and please know you are NOT alone at all. I felt the SAME EXACT way. (now I work and that is another challenge, but honestly I am happier in so many ways - and it's b/c I'm not so lonely anymore - not saying you should go back to work!! Not at all, but still, it ended up working for me)

Ronda
Proud Mommy to 2 adorable munchkins - 1/03 and 4/04

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes........that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes."

[firsttimemommy]

Big hugs Amy - I ditto so much of what you and others have said. Mommy groups were difficult, esp if you were the newbie - they would *try* to be nice but they already had their "groups" formed within the group and you felt like an outsider. I never hung around long enough to try to "break in" appropriately, but I have little patience.

DH also did the same as your DH - and it annoyed me to no end. I was always so excited for him to come home and have adult conversation. But he wanted TV. :( The seperate lives thing was an issue for me too. And it sucked to bear the entire burden of kids/house, etc. At least DH had "down" time in front of the TV. I had none.

It didn't help that we lived 25 miles from any of the "action" - we were country folk for most of my SAHM days. Driving in to "town" was such an effort with two little ones and then you figured in the cost of gas and you felt guilty NOT going to the store, bank, po, etc and then your day was gone.

I also agree as the kids get older you can "relax" a bit more and really TALK to other women. When they are babies it really is all about them.

I did have two friends that I taught with pre-baby that I hung out with, but even with them all we talked about was our kids!

Give it time, and you know you have the ladies here. Also, maybe at some point you can bring this up with one of your mommy group friends - look at all the coversation and bonding that occured HERE from your post :) HTH a little and please know you are NOT alone at all. I felt the SAME EXACT way. (now I work and that is another challenge, but honestly I am happier in so many ways - and it's b/c I'm not so lonely anymore - not saying you should go back to work!! Not at all, but still, it ended up working for me)

Ronda
Proud Mommy to 2 adorable munchkins - 1/03 and 4/04

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes........that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes."

[firsttimemommy]

Big hugs Amy - I ditto so much of what you and others have said. Mommy groups were difficult, esp if you were the newbie - they would *try* to be nice but they already had their "groups" formed within the group and you felt like an outsider. I never hung around long enough to try to "break in" appropriately, but I have little patience.

DH also did the same as your DH - and it annoyed me to no end. I was always so excited for him to come home and have adult conversation. But he wanted TV. :( The seperate lives thing was an issue for me too. And it sucked to bear the entire burden of kids/house, etc. At least DH had "down" time in front of the TV. I had none.

It didn't help that we lived 25 miles from any of the "action" - we were country folk for most of my SAHM days. Driving in to "town" was such an effort with two little ones and then you figured in the cost of gas and you felt guilty NOT going to the store, bank, po, etc and then your day was gone.

I also agree as the kids get older you can "relax" a bit more and really TALK to other women. When they are babies it really is all about them.

I did have two friends that I taught with pre-baby that I hung out with, but even with them all we talked about was our kids!

Give it time, and you know you have the ladies here. Also, maybe at some point you can bring this up with one of your mommy group friends - look at all the coversation and bonding that occured HERE from your post :) HTH a little and please know you are NOT alone at all. I felt the SAME EXACT way. (now I work and that is another challenge, but honestly I am happier in so many ways - and it's b/c I'm not so lonely anymore - not saying you should go back to work!! Not at all, but still, it ended up working for me)

Ronda
Proud Mommy to 2 adorable munchkins - 1/03 and 4/04

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes........that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes."

[firsttimemommy]

Big hugs Amy - I ditto so much of what you and others have said. Mommy groups were difficult, esp if you were the newbie - they would *try* to be nice but they already had their "groups" formed within the group and you felt like an outsider. I never hung around long enough to try to "break in" appropriately, but I have little patience.

DH also did the same as your DH - and it annoyed me to no end. I was always so excited for him to come home and have adult conversation. But he wanted TV. :( The seperate lives thing was an issue for me too. And it sucked to bear the entire burden of kids/house, etc. At least DH had "down" time in front of the TV. I had none.

It didn't help that we lived 25 miles from any of the "action" - we were country folk for most of my SAHM days. Driving in to "town" was such an effort with two little ones and then you figured in the cost of gas and you felt guilty NOT going to the store, bank, po, etc and then your day was gone.

I also agree as the kids get older you can "relax" a bit more and really TALK to other women. When they are babies it really is all about them.

I did have two friends that I taught with pre-baby that I hung out with, but even with them all we talked about was our kids!

Give it time, and you know you have the ladies here. Also, maybe at some point you can bring this up with one of your mommy group friends - look at all the coversation and bonding that occured HERE from your post :) HTH a little and please know you are NOT alone at all. I felt the SAME EXACT way. (now I work and that is another challenge, but honestly I am happier in so many ways - and it's b/c I'm not so lonely anymore - not saying you should go back to work!! Not at all, but still, it ended up working for me)

Ronda
Proud Mommy to 2 adorable munchkins - 1/03 and 4/04

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes........that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes."

[firsttimemommy]

Big hugs Amy - I ditto so much of what you and others have said. Mommy groups were difficult, esp if you were the newbie - they would *try* to be nice but they already had their "groups" formed within the group and you felt like an outsider. I never hung around long enough to try to "break in" appropriately, but I have little patience.

DH also did the same as your DH - and it annoyed me to no end. I was always so excited for him to come home and have adult conversation. But he wanted TV. :( The seperate lives thing was an issue for me too. And it sucked to bear the entire burden of kids/house, etc. At least DH had "down" time in front of the TV. I had none.

It didn't help that we lived 25 miles from any of the "action" - we were country folk for most of my SAHM days. Driving in to "town" was such an effort with two little ones and then you figured in the cost of gas and you felt guilty NOT going to the store, bank, po, etc and then your day was gone.

I also agree as the kids get older you can "relax" a bit more and really TALK to other women. When they are babies it really is all about them.

I did have two friends that I taught with pre-baby that I hung out with, but even with them all we talked about was our kids!

Give it time, and you know you have the ladies here. Also, maybe at some point you can bring this up with one of your mommy group friends - look at all the coversation and bonding that occured HERE from your post :) HTH a little and please know you are NOT alone at all. I felt the SAME EXACT way. (now I work and that is another challenge, but honestly I am happier in so many ways - and it's b/c I'm not so lonely anymore - not saying you should go back to work!! Not at all, but still, it ended up working for me)

Ronda
Proud Mommy to 2 adorable munchkins - 1/03 and 4/04

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes........that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes."

[firsttimemommy]

Big hugs Amy - I ditto so much of what you and others have said. Mommy groups were difficult, esp if you were the newbie - they would *try* to be nice but they already had their "groups" formed within the group and you felt like an outsider. I never hung around long enough to try to "break in" appropriately, but I have little patience.

DH also did the same as your DH - and it annoyed me to no end. I was always so excited for him to come home and have adult conversation. But he wanted TV. :( The seperate lives thing was an issue for me too. And it sucked to bear the entire burden of kids/house, etc. At least DH had "down" time in front of the TV. I had none.

It didn't help that we lived 25 miles from any of the "action" - we were country folk for most of my SAHM days. Driving in to "town" was such an effort with two little ones and then you figured in the cost of gas and you felt guilty NOT going to the store, bank, po, etc and then your day was gone.

I also agree as the kids get older you can "relax" a bit more and really TALK to other women. When they are babies it really is all about them.

I did have two friends that I taught with pre-baby that I hung out with, but even with them all we talked about was our kids!

Give it time, and you know you have the ladies here. Also, maybe at some point you can bring this up with one of your mommy group friends - look at all the coversation and bonding that occured HERE from your post :) HTH a little and please know you are NOT alone at all. I felt the SAME EXACT way. (now I work and that is another challenge, but honestly I am happier in so many ways - and it's b/c I'm not so lonely anymore - not saying you should go back to work!! Not at all, but still, it ended up working for me)

Ronda
Proud Mommy to 2 adorable munchkins - 1/03 and 4/04

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes........that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes."

[firsttimemommy]

Big hugs Amy - I ditto so much of what you and others have said. Mommy groups were difficult, esp if you were the newbie - they would *try* to be nice but they already had their "groups" formed within the group and you felt like an outsider. I never hung around long enough to try to "break in" appropriately, but I have little patience.

DH also did the same as your DH - and it annoyed me to no end. I was always so excited for him to come home and have adult conversation. But he wanted TV. :( The seperate lives thing was an issue for me too. And it sucked to bear the entire burden of kids/house, etc. At least DH had "down" time in front of the TV. I had none.

It didn't help that we lived 25 miles from any of the "action" - we were country folk for most of my SAHM days. Driving in to "town" was such an effort with two little ones and then you figured in the cost of gas and you felt guilty NOT going to the store, bank, po, etc and then your day was gone.

I also agree as the kids get older you can "relax" a bit more and really TALK to other women. When they are babies it really is all about them.

I did have two friends that I taught with pre-baby that I hung out with, but even with them all we talked about was our kids!

Give it time, and you know you have the ladies here. Also, maybe at some point you can bring this up with one of your mommy group friends - look at all the coversation and bonding that occured HERE from your post :) HTH a little and please know you are NOT alone at all. I felt the SAME EXACT way. (now I work and that is another challenge, but honestly I am happier in so many ways - and it's b/c I'm not so lonely anymore - not saying you should go back to work!! Not at all, but still, it ended up working for me)

Ronda
Proud Mommy to 2 adorable munchkins - 1/03 and 4/04

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes........that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes."

[firsttimemommy]

Big hugs Amy - I ditto so much of what you and others have said. Mommy groups were difficult, esp if you were the newbie - they would *try* to be nice but they already had their "groups" formed within the group and you felt like an outsider. I never hung around long enough to try to "break in" appropriately, but I have little patience.

DH also did the same as your DH - and it annoyed me to no end. I was always so excited for him to come home and have adult conversation. But he wanted TV. :( The seperate lives thing was an issue for me too. And it sucked to bear the entire burden of kids/house, etc. At least DH had "down" time in front of the TV. I had none.

It didn't help that we lived 25 miles from any of the "action" - we were country folk for most of my SAHM days. Driving in to "town" was such an effort with two little ones and then you figured in the cost of gas and you felt guilty NOT going to the store, bank, po, etc and then your day was gone.

I also agree as the kids get older you can "relax" a bit more and really TALK to other women. When they are babies it really is all about them.

I did have two friends that I taught with pre-baby that I hung out with, but even with them all we talked about was our kids!

Give it time, and you know you have the ladies here. Also, maybe at some point you can bring this up with one of your mommy group friends - look at all the coversation and bonding that occured HERE from your post :) HTH a little and please know you are NOT alone at all. I felt the SAME EXACT way. (now I work and that is another challenge, but honestly I am happier in so many ways - and it's b/c I'm not so lonely anymore - not saying you should go back to work!! Not at all, but still, it ended up working for me)

Ronda
Proud Mommy to 2 adorable munchkins - 1/03 and 4/04

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes........that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes."

[firsttimemommy]

Big hugs Amy - I ditto so much of what you and others have said. Mommy groups were difficult, esp if you were the newbie - they would *try* to be nice but they already had their "groups" formed within the group and you felt like an outsider. I never hung around long enough to try to "break in" appropriately, but I have little patience.

DH also did the same as your DH - and it annoyed me to no end. I was always so excited for him to come home and have adult conversation. But he wanted TV. :( The seperate lives thing was an issue for me too. And it sucked to bear the entire burden of kids/house, etc. At least DH had "down" time in front of the TV. I had none.

It didn't help that we lived 25 miles from any of the "action" - we were country folk for most of my SAHM days. Driving in to "town" was such an effort with two little ones and then you figured in the cost of gas and you felt guilty NOT going to the store, bank, po, etc and then your day was gone.

I also agree as the kids get older you can "relax" a bit more and really TALK to other women. When they are babies it really is all about them.

I did have two friends that I taught with pre-baby that I hung out with, but even with them all we talked about was our kids!

Give it time, and you know you have the ladies here. Also, maybe at some point you can bring this up with one of your mommy group friends - look at all the coversation and bonding that occured HERE from your post :) HTH a little and please know you are NOT alone at all. I felt the SAME EXACT way. (now I work and that is another challenge, but honestly I am happier in so many ways - and it's b/c I'm not so lonely anymore - not saying you should go back to work!! Not at all, but still, it ended up working for me)

Ronda
Proud Mommy to 2 adorable munchkins - 1/03 and 4/04

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes........that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes."

[VClute]

Karen, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I really look up to you here, so it was nice to read.

As for your advice on taking a leadership role, I've volunteered to do the newsletter for my MOPS group. I'm hopeful that, come Fall, it will really be exactly what I needed to get to know more people on a personal level.

About having another child, I do want DS to have a sibling. But I don't want to rely on my son for companionship - I've seen too many women build their lives around their children only to be left in the dust when their older. I'm always looking for a candidate for someone to call up and chat with. Like I said, I've picked up women at ped's offices, but if they don't live near me, it's hard to keep in touch. I'm still trying, though!

Thanks again for your response. I KNEW there must be other "lonely hearts" out there. I just hate having to wait it out. :(

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Karen, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I really look up to you here, so it was nice to read.

As for your advice on taking a leadership role, I've volunteered to do the newsletter for my MOPS group. I'm hopeful that, come Fall, it will really be exactly what I needed to get to know more people on a personal level.

About having another child, I do want DS to have a sibling. But I don't want to rely on my son for companionship - I've seen too many women build their lives around their children only to be left in the dust when their older. I'm always looking for a candidate for someone to call up and chat with. Like I said, I've picked up women at ped's offices, but if they don't live near me, it's hard to keep in touch. I'm still trying, though!

Thanks again for your response. I KNEW there must be other "lonely hearts" out there. I just hate having to wait it out. :(

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Karen, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I really look up to you here, so it was nice to read.

As for your advice on taking a leadership role, I've volunteered to do the newsletter for my MOPS group. I'm hopeful that, come Fall, it will really be exactly what I needed to get to know more people on a personal level.

About having another child, I do want DS to have a sibling. But I don't want to rely on my son for companionship - I've seen too many women build their lives around their children only to be left in the dust when their older. I'm always looking for a candidate for someone to call up and chat with. Like I said, I've picked up women at ped's offices, but if they don't live near me, it's hard to keep in touch. I'm still trying, though!

Thanks again for your response. I KNEW there must be other "lonely hearts" out there. I just hate having to wait it out. :(

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Karen, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I really look up to you here, so it was nice to read.

As for your advice on taking a leadership role, I've volunteered to do the newsletter for my MOPS group. I'm hopeful that, come Fall, it will really be exactly what I needed to get to know more people on a personal level.

About having another child, I do want DS to have a sibling. But I don't want to rely on my son for companionship - I've seen too many women build their lives around their children only to be left in the dust when their older. I'm always looking for a candidate for someone to call up and chat with. Like I said, I've picked up women at ped's offices, but if they don't live near me, it's hard to keep in touch. I'm still trying, though!

Thanks again for your response. I KNEW there must be other "lonely hearts" out there. I just hate having to wait it out. :(

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Karen, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I really look up to you here, so it was nice to read.

As for your advice on taking a leadership role, I've volunteered to do the newsletter for my MOPS group. I'm hopeful that, come Fall, it will really be exactly what I needed to get to know more people on a personal level.

About having another child, I do want DS to have a sibling. But I don't want to rely on my son for companionship - I've seen too many women build their lives around their children only to be left in the dust when their older. I'm always looking for a candidate for someone to call up and chat with. Like I said, I've picked up women at ped's offices, but if they don't live near me, it's hard to keep in touch. I'm still trying, though!

Thanks again for your response. I KNEW there must be other "lonely hearts" out there. I just hate having to wait it out. :(

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Karen, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I really look up to you here, so it was nice to read.

As for your advice on taking a leadership role, I've volunteered to do the newsletter for my MOPS group. I'm hopeful that, come Fall, it will really be exactly what I needed to get to know more people on a personal level.

About having another child, I do want DS to have a sibling. But I don't want to rely on my son for companionship - I've seen too many women build their lives around their children only to be left in the dust when their older. I'm always looking for a candidate for someone to call up and chat with. Like I said, I've picked up women at ped's offices, but if they don't live near me, it's hard to keep in touch. I'm still trying, though!

Thanks again for your response. I KNEW there must be other "lonely hearts" out there. I just hate having to wait it out. :(

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Karen, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I really look up to you here, so it was nice to read.

As for your advice on taking a leadership role, I've volunteered to do the newsletter for my MOPS group. I'm hopeful that, come Fall, it will really be exactly what I needed to get to know more people on a personal level.

About having another child, I do want DS to have a sibling. But I don't want to rely on my son for companionship - I've seen too many women build their lives around their children only to be left in the dust when their older. I'm always looking for a candidate for someone to call up and chat with. Like I said, I've picked up women at ped's offices, but if they don't live near me, it's hard to keep in touch. I'm still trying, though!

Thanks again for your response. I KNEW there must be other "lonely hearts" out there. I just hate having to wait it out. :(

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Karen, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I really look up to you here, so it was nice to read.

As for your advice on taking a leadership role, I've volunteered to do the newsletter for my MOPS group. I'm hopeful that, come Fall, it will really be exactly what I needed to get to know more people on a personal level.

About having another child, I do want DS to have a sibling. But I don't want to rely on my son for companionship - I've seen too many women build their lives around their children only to be left in the dust when their older. I'm always looking for a candidate for someone to call up and chat with. Like I said, I've picked up women at ped's offices, but if they don't live near me, it's hard to keep in touch. I'm still trying, though!

Thanks again for your response. I KNEW there must be other "lonely hearts" out there. I just hate having to wait it out. :(

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Karen, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I really look up to you here, so it was nice to read.

As for your advice on taking a leadership role, I've volunteered to do the newsletter for my MOPS group. I'm hopeful that, come Fall, it will really be exactly what I needed to get to know more people on a personal level.

About having another child, I do want DS to have a sibling. But I don't want to rely on my son for companionship - I've seen too many women build their lives around their children only to be left in the dust when their older. I'm always looking for a candidate for someone to call up and chat with. Like I said, I've picked up women at ped's offices, but if they don't live near me, it's hard to keep in touch. I'm still trying, though!

Thanks again for your response. I KNEW there must be other "lonely hearts" out there. I just hate having to wait it out. :(

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Actually, in my last-ditch effort to find happiness as a mom, I *am* returning to work. Just part-time (VERY part time - only 48 hours a month.) But I'm hoping that just getting out and among grown-ups again will help me get out of this lonely funk. Thanks so much for your response. I'm still trying!

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Actually, in my last-ditch effort to find happiness as a mom, I *am* returning to work. Just part-time (VERY part time - only 48 hours a month.) But I'm hoping that just getting out and among grown-ups again will help me get out of this lonely funk. Thanks so much for your response. I'm still trying!

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Actually, in my last-ditch effort to find happiness as a mom, I *am* returning to work. Just part-time (VERY part time - only 48 hours a month.) But I'm hoping that just getting out and among grown-ups again will help me get out of this lonely funk. Thanks so much for your response. I'm still trying!

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Actually, in my last-ditch effort to find happiness as a mom, I *am* returning to work. Just part-time (VERY part time - only 48 hours a month.) But I'm hoping that just getting out and among grown-ups again will help me get out of this lonely funk. Thanks so much for your response. I'm still trying!

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Actually, in my last-ditch effort to find happiness as a mom, I *am* returning to work. Just part-time (VERY part time - only 48 hours a month.) But I'm hoping that just getting out and among grown-ups again will help me get out of this lonely funk. Thanks so much for your response. I'm still trying!

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Actually, in my last-ditch effort to find happiness as a mom, I *am* returning to work. Just part-time (VERY part time - only 48 hours a month.) But I'm hoping that just getting out and among grown-ups again will help me get out of this lonely funk. Thanks so much for your response. I'm still trying!

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Actually, in my last-ditch effort to find happiness as a mom, I *am* returning to work. Just part-time (VERY part time - only 48 hours a month.) But I'm hoping that just getting out and among grown-ups again will help me get out of this lonely funk. Thanks so much for your response. I'm still trying!

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Actually, in my last-ditch effort to find happiness as a mom, I *am* returning to work. Just part-time (VERY part time - only 48 hours a month.) But I'm hoping that just getting out and among grown-ups again will help me get out of this lonely funk. Thanks so much for your response. I'm still trying!

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[VClute]

Actually, in my last-ditch effort to find happiness as a mom, I *am* returning to work. Just part-time (VERY part time - only 48 hours a month.) But I'm hoping that just getting out and among grown-ups again will help me get out of this lonely funk. Thanks so much for your response. I'm still trying!

Amy in NC
mom to Dixon, born 2/14/05

[tiapam]

I think one thing that might work is to see if someone new moves in your neighborhood and then make yourself the welcome wagon. I would also try asking just a few moms from the moms groups to do something in addition to the usual playgroups, etc.

One thing I am always too chicken to try is asking a mom eating alone (um, I mean with her kids) in the mall food court if she wants company. I mean it seems so strange, just like you describe. This reminds me of a book called Bowling Alone. You might want to check it out.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. I have days where I feel that way, where I think of everyone I could call and I realize they are either busy that day or none of them seem like the right person. I was really fortunate to find a good mom friend shortly before we delivered. It seems like once you have one, then more follow. Keep trying! I'm sure you'll find your Shirley (or Laverne).

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

I think one thing that might work is to see if someone new moves in your neighborhood and then make yourself the welcome wagon. I would also try asking just a few moms from the moms groups to do something in addition to the usual playgroups, etc.

One thing I am always too chicken to try is asking a mom eating alone (um, I mean with her kids) in the mall food court if she wants company. I mean it seems so strange, just like you describe. This reminds me of a book called Bowling Alone. You might want to check it out.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. I have days where I feel that way, where I think of everyone I could call and I realize they are either busy that day or none of them seem like the right person. I was really fortunate to find a good mom friend shortly before we delivered. It seems like once you have one, then more follow. Keep trying! I'm sure you'll find your Shirley (or Laverne).

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

I think one thing that might work is to see if someone new moves in your neighborhood and then make yourself the welcome wagon. I would also try asking just a few moms from the moms groups to do something in addition to the usual playgroups, etc.

One thing I am always too chicken to try is asking a mom eating alone (um, I mean with her kids) in the mall food court if she wants company. I mean it seems so strange, just like you describe. This reminds me of a book called Bowling Alone. You might want to check it out.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. I have days where I feel that way, where I think of everyone I could call and I realize they are either busy that day or none of them seem like the right person. I was really fortunate to find a good mom friend shortly before we delivered. It seems like once you have one, then more follow. Keep trying! I'm sure you'll find your Shirley (or Laverne).

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

I think one thing that might work is to see if someone new moves in your neighborhood and then make yourself the welcome wagon. I would also try asking just a few moms from the moms groups to do something in addition to the usual playgroups, etc.

One thing I am always too chicken to try is asking a mom eating alone (um, I mean with her kids) in the mall food court if she wants company. I mean it seems so strange, just like you describe. This reminds me of a book called Bowling Alone. You might want to check it out.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. I have days where I feel that way, where I think of everyone I could call and I realize they are either busy that day or none of them seem like the right person. I was really fortunate to find a good mom friend shortly before we delivered. It seems like once you have one, then more follow. Keep trying! I'm sure you'll find your Shirley (or Laverne).

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

I think one thing that might work is to see if someone new moves in your neighborhood and then make yourself the welcome wagon. I would also try asking just a few moms from the moms groups to do something in addition to the usual playgroups, etc.

One thing I am always too chicken to try is asking a mom eating alone (um, I mean with her kids) in the mall food court if she wants company. I mean it seems so strange, just like you describe. This reminds me of a book called Bowling Alone. You might want to check it out.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. I have days where I feel that way, where I think of everyone I could call and I realize they are either busy that day or none of them seem like the right person. I was really fortunate to find a good mom friend shortly before we delivered. It seems like once you have one, then more follow. Keep trying! I'm sure you'll find your Shirley (or Laverne).

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

I think one thing that might work is to see if someone new moves in your neighborhood and then make yourself the welcome wagon. I would also try asking just a few moms from the moms groups to do something in addition to the usual playgroups, etc.

One thing I am always too chicken to try is asking a mom eating alone (um, I mean with her kids) in the mall food court if she wants company. I mean it seems so strange, just like you describe. This reminds me of a book called Bowling Alone. You might want to check it out.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. I have days where I feel that way, where I think of everyone I could call and I realize they are either busy that day or none of them seem like the right person. I was really fortunate to find a good mom friend shortly before we delivered. It seems like once you have one, then more follow. Keep trying! I'm sure you'll find your Shirley (or Laverne).

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

I think one thing that might work is to see if someone new moves in your neighborhood and then make yourself the welcome wagon. I would also try asking just a few moms from the moms groups to do something in addition to the usual playgroups, etc.

One thing I am always too chicken to try is asking a mom eating alone (um, I mean with her kids) in the mall food court if she wants company. I mean it seems so strange, just like you describe. This reminds me of a book called Bowling Alone. You might want to check it out.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. I have days where I feel that way, where I think of everyone I could call and I realize they are either busy that day or none of them seem like the right person. I was really fortunate to find a good mom friend shortly before we delivered. It seems like once you have one, then more follow. Keep trying! I'm sure you'll find your Shirley (or Laverne).

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

I think one thing that might work is to see if someone new moves in your neighborhood and then make yourself the welcome wagon. I would also try asking just a few moms from the moms groups to do something in addition to the usual playgroups, etc.

One thing I am always too chicken to try is asking a mom eating alone (um, I mean with her kids) in the mall food court if she wants company. I mean it seems so strange, just like you describe. This reminds me of a book called Bowling Alone. You might want to check it out.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. I have days where I feel that way, where I think of everyone I could call and I realize they are either busy that day or none of them seem like the right person. I was really fortunate to find a good mom friend shortly before we delivered. It seems like once you have one, then more follow. Keep trying! I'm sure you'll find your Shirley (or Laverne).

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

I think one thing that might work is to see if someone new moves in your neighborhood and then make yourself the welcome wagon. I would also try asking just a few moms from the moms groups to do something in addition to the usual playgroups, etc.

One thing I am always too chicken to try is asking a mom eating alone (um, I mean with her kids) in the mall food court if she wants company. I mean it seems so strange, just like you describe. This reminds me of a book called Bowling Alone. You might want to check it out.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. I have days where I feel that way, where I think of everyone I could call and I realize they are either busy that day or none of them seem like the right person. I was really fortunate to find a good mom friend shortly before we delivered. It seems like once you have one, then more follow. Keep trying! I'm sure you'll find your Shirley (or Laverne).

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[randomkid]

I understand what you mean and I even have friends that I can call and chat with. However, it is sometimes so hard because we are all so busy. Most of my friends also work at least part-time and some work full-time. I have just really made the effort to stay connected with friends from work. Once a month, I meet a group for dinner. We all used to work together, but we are now spread out all over and some of us have had kids. I think part of it is just the adjustment to not having the connection everyday. Are there friends from work that you can call to do something with without your DS? I make plans with my best friend weeks in advance and our DHs watch the kids while we go to dinner. I've had to learn that a couple of hours with a friend is so worth keeping the connection. Even for playdates, I have come to realize that an hour is better than losing touch. Sometimes that's all you can do when everyone's naptime is different.

Think about this. I work part-time, so I see my co-worker friends 3 days a week. However, since I'm not there all the time, it's often that I am not included because they don't think to invite me. I find it more and more frustrating at work because I'm even starting to feel like I don't belong at lunch. And I've known some of these women for 15 years! I don't know what's going on in everyone's lives and they don't see me much, so it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind" for them. When everyone around you has that daily connection, you just aren't so much a part of things anymore. It just really changes things when you have children. So, even if you were at work, things would probably be different than they were before.

Give it time and you will find what works for you. I am also hoping that when DD is older, it will get easier. When I was growing up, there were kids all over our neighborhood and the parents were all friends before we were born. It was great! My parents and I had lots of friends very close by. Life is just so different now and it's much harder to connect since people move around so much and are so busy with work, etc.

Good Luck and HTH to know you are not alone.

[randomkid]

I understand what you mean and I even have friends that I can call and chat with. However, it is sometimes so hard because we are all so busy. Most of my friends also work at least part-time and some work full-time. I have just really made the effort to stay connected with friends from work. Once a month, I meet a group for dinner. We all used to work together, but we are now spread out all over and some of us have had kids. I think part of it is just the adjustment to not having the connection everyday. Are there friends from work that you can call to do something with without your DS? I make plans with my best friend weeks in advance and our DHs watch the kids while we go to dinner. I've had to learn that a couple of hours with a friend is so worth keeping the connection. Even for playdates, I have come to realize that an hour is better than losing touch. Sometimes that's all you can do when everyone's naptime is different.

Think about this. I work part-time, so I see my co-worker friends 3 days a week. However, since I'm not there all the time, it's often that I am not included because they don't think to invite me. I find it more and more frustrating at work because I'm even starting to feel like I don't belong at lunch. And I've known some of these women for 15 years! I don't know what's going on in everyone's lives and they don't see me much, so it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind" for them. When everyone around you has that daily connection, you just aren't so much a part of things anymore. It just really changes things when you have children. So, even if you were at work, things would probably be different than they were before.

Give it time and you will find what works for you. I am also hoping that when DD is older, it will get easier. When I was growing up, there were kids all over our neighborhood and the parents were all friends before we were born. It was great! My parents and I had lots of friends very close by. Life is just so different now and it's much harder to connect since people move around so much and are so busy with work, etc.

Good Luck and HTH to know you are not alone.

[randomkid]

I understand what you mean and I even have friends that I can call and chat with. However, it is sometimes so hard because we are all so busy. Most of my friends also work at least part-time and some work full-time. I have just really made the effort to stay connected with friends from work. Once a month, I meet a group for dinner. We all used to work together, but we are now spread out all over and some of us have had kids. I think part of it is just the adjustment to not having the connection everyday. Are there friends from work that you can call to do something with without your DS? I make plans with my best friend weeks in advance and our DHs watch the kids while we go to dinner. I've had to learn that a couple of hours with a friend is so worth keeping the connection. Even for playdates, I have come to realize that an hour is better than losing touch. Sometimes that's all you can do when everyone's naptime is different.

Think about this. I work part-time, so I see my co-worker friends 3 days a week. However, since I'm not there all the time, it's often that I am not included because they don't think to invite me. I find it more and more frustrating at work because I'm even starting to feel like I don't belong at lunch. And I've known some of these women for 15 years! I don't know what's going on in everyone's lives and they don't see me much, so it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind" for them. When everyone around you has that daily connection, you just aren't so much a part of things anymore. It just really changes things when you have children. So, even if you were at work, things would probably be different than they were before.

Give it time and you will find what works for you. I am also hoping that when DD is older, it will get easier. When I was growing up, there were kids all over our neighborhood and the parents were all friends before we were born. It was great! My parents and I had lots of friends very close by. Life is just so different now and it's much harder to connect since people move around so much and are so busy with work, etc.

Good Luck and HTH to know you are not alone.

[randomkid]

I understand what you mean and I even have friends that I can call and chat with. However, it is sometimes so hard because we are all so busy. Most of my friends also work at least part-time and some work full-time. I have just really made the effort to stay connected with friends from work. Once a month, I meet a group for dinner. We all used to work together, but we are now spread out all over and some of us have had kids. I think part of it is just the adjustment to not having the connection everyday. Are there friends from work that you can call to do something with without your DS? I make plans with my best friend weeks in advance and our DHs watch the kids while we go to dinner. I've had to learn that a couple of hours with a friend is so worth keeping the connection. Even for playdates, I have come to realize that an hour is better than losing touch. Sometimes that's all you can do when everyone's naptime is different.

Think about this. I work part-time, so I see my co-worker friends 3 days a week. However, since I'm not there all the time, it's often that I am not included because they don't think to invite me. I find it more and more frustrating at work because I'm even starting to feel like I don't belong at lunch. And I've known some of these women for 15 years! I don't know what's going on in everyone's lives and they don't see me much, so it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind" for them. When everyone around you has that daily connection, you just aren't so much a part of things anymore. It just really changes things when you have children. So, even if you were at work, things would probably be different than they were before.

Give it time and you will find what works for you. I am also hoping that when DD is older, it will get easier. When I was growing up, there were kids all over our neighborhood and the parents were all friends before we were born. It was great! My parents and I had lots of friends very close by. Life is just so different now and it's much harder to connect since people move around so much and are so busy with work, etc.

Good Luck and HTH to know you are not alone.

[randomkid]

I understand what you mean and I even have friends that I can call and chat with. However, it is sometimes so hard because we are all so busy. Most of my friends also work at least part-time and some work full-time. I have just really made the effort to stay connected with friends from work. Once a month, I meet a group for dinner. We all used to work together, but we are now spread out all over and some of us have had kids. I think part of it is just the adjustment to not having the connection everyday. Are there friends from work that you can call to do something with without your DS? I make plans with my best friend weeks in advance and our DHs watch the kids while we go to dinner. I've had to learn that a couple of hours with a friend is so worth keeping the connection. Even for playdates, I have come to realize that an hour is better than losing touch. Sometimes that's all you can do when everyone's naptime is different.

Think about this. I work part-time, so I see my co-worker friends 3 days a week. However, since I'm not there all the time, it's often that I am not included because they don't think to invite me. I find it more and more frustrating at work because I'm even starting to feel like I don't belong at lunch. And I've known some of these women for 15 years! I don't know what's going on in everyone's lives and they don't see me much, so it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind" for them. When everyone around you has that daily connection, you just aren't so much a part of things anymore. It just really changes things when you have children. So, even if you were at work, things would probably be different than they were before.

Give it time and you will find what works for you. I am also hoping that when DD is older, it will get easier. When I was growing up, there were kids all over our neighborhood and the parents were all friends before we were born. It was great! My parents and I had lots of friends very close by. Life is just so different now and it's much harder to connect since people move around so much and are so busy with work, etc.

Good Luck and HTH to know you are not alone.

[randomkid]

I understand what you mean and I even have friends that I can call and chat with. However, it is sometimes so hard because we are all so busy. Most of my friends also work at least part-time and some work full-time. I have just really made the effort to stay connected with friends from work. Once a month, I meet a group for dinner. We all used to work together, but we are now spread out all over and some of us have had kids. I think part of it is just the adjustment to not having the connection everyday. Are there friends from work that you can call to do something with without your DS? I make plans with my best friend weeks in advance and our DHs watch the kids while we go to dinner. I've had to learn that a couple of hours with a friend is so worth keeping the connection. Even for playdates, I have come to realize that an hour is better than losing touch. Sometimes that's all you can do when everyone's naptime is different.

Think about this. I work part-time, so I see my co-worker friends 3 days a week. However, since I'm not there all the time, it's often that I am not included because they don't think to invite me. I find it more and more frustrating at work because I'm even starting to feel like I don't belong at lunch. And I've known some of these women for 15 years! I don't know what's going on in everyone's lives and they don't see me much, so it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind" for them. When everyone around you has that daily connection, you just aren't so much a part of things anymore. It just really changes things when you have children. So, even if you were at work, things would probably be different than they were before.

Give it time and you will find what works for you. I am also hoping that when DD is older, it will get easier. When I was growing up, there were kids all over our neighborhood and the parents were all friends before we were born. It was great! My parents and I had lots of friends very close by. Life is just so different now and it's much harder to connect since people move around so much and are so busy with work, etc.

Good Luck and HTH to know you are not alone.

[randomkid]

I understand what you mean and I even have friends that I can call and chat with. However, it is sometimes so hard because we are all so busy. Most of my friends also work at least part-time and some work full-time. I have just really made the effort to stay connected with friends from work. Once a month, I meet a group for dinner. We all used to work together, but we are now spread out all over and some of us have had kids. I think part of it is just the adjustment to not having the connection everyday. Are there friends from work that you can call to do something with without your DS? I make plans with my best friend weeks in advance and our DHs watch the kids while we go to dinner. I've had to learn that a couple of hours with a friend is so worth keeping the connection. Even for playdates, I have come to realize that an hour is better than losing touch. Sometimes that's all you can do when everyone's naptime is different.

Think about this. I work part-time, so I see my co-worker friends 3 days a week. However, since I'm not there all the time, it's often that I am not included because they don't think to invite me. I find it more and more frustrating at work because I'm even starting to feel like I don't belong at lunch. And I've known some of these women for 15 years! I don't know what's going on in everyone's lives and they don't see me much, so it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind" for them. When everyone around you has that daily connection, you just aren't so much a part of things anymore. It just really changes things when you have children. So, even if you were at work, things would probably be different than they were before.

Give it time and you will find what works for you. I am also hoping that when DD is older, it will get easier. When I was growing up, there were kids all over our neighborhood and the parents were all friends before we were born. It was great! My parents and I had lots of friends very close by. Life is just so different now and it's much harder to connect since people move around so much and are so busy with work, etc.

Good Luck and HTH to know you are not alone.

[randomkid]

I understand what you mean and I even have friends that I can call and chat with. However, it is sometimes so hard because we are all so busy. Most of my friends also work at least part-time and some work full-time. I have just really made the effort to stay connected with friends from work. Once a month, I meet a group for dinner. We all used to work together, but we are now spread out all over and some of us have had kids. I think part of it is just the adjustment to not having the connection everyday. Are there friends from work that you can call to do something with without your DS? I make plans with my best friend weeks in advance and our DHs watch the kids while we go to dinner. I've had to learn that a couple of hours with a friend is so worth keeping the connection. Even for playdates, I have come to realize that an hour is better than losing touch. Sometimes that's all you can do when everyone's naptime is different.

Think about this. I work part-time, so I see my co-worker friends 3 days a week. However, since I'm not there all the time, it's often that I am not included because they don't think to invite me. I find it more and more frustrating at work because I'm even starting to feel like I don't belong at lunch. And I've known some of these women for 15 years! I don't know what's going on in everyone's lives and they don't see me much, so it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind" for them. When everyone around you has that daily connection, you just aren't so much a part of things anymore. It just really changes things when you have children. So, even if you were at work, things would probably be different than they were before.

Give it time and you will find what works for you. I am also hoping that when DD is older, it will get easier. When I was growing up, there were kids all over our neighborhood and the parents were all friends before we were born. It was great! My parents and I had lots of friends very close by. Life is just so different now and it's much harder to connect since people move around so much and are so busy with work, etc.

Good Luck and HTH to know you are not alone.

[randomkid]

I understand what you mean and I even have friends that I can call and chat with. However, it is sometimes so hard because we are all so busy. Most of my friends also work at least part-time and some work full-time. I have just really made the effort to stay connected with friends from work. Once a month, I meet a group for dinner. We all used to work together, but we are now spread out all over and some of us have had kids. I think part of it is just the adjustment to not having the connection everyday. Are there friends from work that you can call to do something with without your DS? I make plans with my best friend weeks in advance and our DHs watch the kids while we go to dinner. I've had to learn that a couple of hours with a friend is so worth keeping the connection. Even for playdates, I have come to realize that an hour is better than losing touch. Sometimes that's all you can do when everyone's naptime is different.

Think about this. I work part-time, so I see my co-worker friends 3 days a week. However, since I'm not there all the time, it's often that I am not included because they don't think to invite me. I find it more and more frustrating at work because I'm even starting to feel like I don't belong at lunch. And I've known some of these women for 15 years! I don't know what's going on in everyone's lives and they don't see me much, so it's kind of "out of sight, out of mind" for them. When everyone around you has that daily connection, you just aren't so much a part of things anymore. It just really changes things when you have children. So, even if you were at work, things would probably be different than they were before.

Give it time and you will find what works for you. I am also hoping that when DD is older, it will get easier. When I was growing up, there were kids all over our neighborhood and the parents were all friends before we were born. It was great! My parents and I had lots of friends very close by. Life is just so different now and it's much harder to connect since people move around so much and are so busy with work, etc.

Good Luck and HTH to know you are not alone.

[american_mama]

Hey, Amy, you always make me feel so good. Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting a second child as a true strategy for companionship! Just making a little joke. You're right that relying on your child is not the most permanent or wise way to make friends.

You have done so much to meet people, which *I* really admire in *you*. After I wrote my reply, I thought I didn't acknowledge that you're doing all the right things and just feeling sad it's not working out. I hate that feeling.

[american_mama]

Hey, Amy, you always make me feel so good. Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting a second child as a true strategy for companionship! Just making a little joke. You're right that relying on your child is not the most permanent or wise way to make friends.

You have done so much to meet people, which *I* really admire in *you*. After I wrote my reply, I thought I didn't acknowledge that you're doing all the right things and just feeling sad it's not working out. I hate that feeling.

[american_mama]

Hey, Amy, you always make me feel so good. Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting a second child as a true strategy for companionship! Just making a little joke. You're right that relying on your child is not the most permanent or wise way to make friends.

You have done so much to meet people, which *I* really admire in *you*. After I wrote my reply, I thought I didn't acknowledge that you're doing all the right things and just feeling sad it's not working out. I hate that feeling.

[american_mama]

Hey, Amy, you always make me feel so good. Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting a second child as a true strategy for companionship! Just making a little joke. You're right that relying on your child is not the most permanent or wise way to make friends.

You have done so much to meet people, which *I* really admire in *you*. After I wrote my reply, I thought I didn't acknowledge that you're doing all the right things and just feeling sad it's not working out. I hate that feeling.

[american_mama]

Hey, Amy, you always make me feel so good. Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting a second child as a true strategy for companionship! Just making a little joke. You're right that relying on your child is not the most permanent or wise way to make friends.

You have done so much to meet people, which *I* really admire in *you*. After I wrote my reply, I thought I didn't acknowledge that you're doing all the right things and just feeling sad it's not working out. I hate that feeling.

[american_mama]

Hey, Amy, you always make me feel so good. Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting a second child as a true strategy for companionship! Just making a little joke. You're right that relying on your child is not the most permanent or wise way to make friends.

You have done so much to meet people, which *I* really admire in *you*. After I wrote my reply, I thought I didn't acknowledge that you're doing all the right things and just feeling sad it's not working out. I hate that feeling.

[american_mama]

Hey, Amy, you always make me feel so good. Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting a second child as a true strategy for companionship! Just making a little joke. You're right that relying on your child is not the most permanent or wise way to make friends.

You have done so much to meet people, which *I* really admire in *you*. After I wrote my reply, I thought I didn't acknowledge that you're doing all the right things and just feeling sad it's not working out. I hate that feeling.

[american_mama]

Hey, Amy, you always make me feel so good. Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting a second child as a true strategy for companionship! Just making a little joke. You're right that relying on your child is not the most permanent or wise way to make friends.

You have done so much to meet people, which *I* really admire in *you*. After I wrote my reply, I thought I didn't acknowledge that you're doing all the right things and just feeling sad it's not working out. I hate that feeling.

[american_mama]

Hey, Amy, you always make me feel so good. Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting a second child as a true strategy for companionship! Just making a little joke. You're right that relying on your child is not the most permanent or wise way to make friends.

You have done so much to meet people, which *I* really admire in *you*. After I wrote my reply, I thought I didn't acknowledge that you're doing all the right things and just feeling sad it's not working out. I hate that feeling.