My husband HATES his job

[Myhusbandhateshisjob]

I had to change my ID in case any of our friends might be reading this and don't know of our predicament. With that said...

...my DH absolutely hates his job. I'm talking tears his stomach up, makes him physically ill with headaches, goes to a therapist hates his job. He is a professional and has gone through a lot of schooling for his profession and makes a very decent living.

He's been wrestling with this hatred of his job pretty much since he has been working in this stressful and demanding line of work. I think particularly since he has become a father, it has gotten a lot worse, as the time he spends with DC is very limited (pretty much only on the weekends). This completely breaks him up inside.

I love my DH so much and my bottom line is that I want him to be happy and healthy and loving all aspects of his life. If that means that his salary gets cut in half or a third or whatever, I don't care. He's been toying with the idea of starting a business in a completely different line of work with some family members, but the business they want to get into won't be profitable for a couple of years (as in no salary for a couple of years as they would roll all of their profits into the new business until it becomes very profitable).

I struggle with DH on various money issues. I don't need to be driving a fancy car or living in a fancy house. I don't need expensive vacations. I'm up for selling our home, taking the equity and running so he can quit his job and get the business off and running. I would happily sacrifice all of this so DH can be happy. He will not budge on this and I just feel like it's a neverending spiral.

He had a job interview last week for a job that was lesser paying, less stressful, and less hours and was literally 5 minutes from our home (as opposed to 30 minutes where he currently works). Well, he was over-qualified and got turned down for the job about an hour ago. So now he's thinking he wants to stay where he is at least until early next spring so he can get a big bonus and then think about quitting and getting the business off the ground. He said that last year for this year's bonus and it makes me crazy. He's just so wrapped up in the green and it makes me want to scream, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY!!!

If your DH hates his job, too, how do you deal with it?

I do feel somewhat better now that I posted this. Maybe it's time for me to go to the therapist with DH so my voice can be heard. I went once in the beginning when he started therapy just so the therapist could sort of know my take on things. I told him all of this, but maybe he needs a refresher. Although, I'm not too sure the therapy is even working.

Alright, thanks for allowing me to vent.

Wife of a Husband who hates his job

[Myhusbandhateshisjob]

I had to change my ID in case any of our friends might be reading this and don't know of our predicament. With that said...

...my DH absolutely hates his job. I'm talking tears his stomach up, makes him physically ill with headaches, goes to a therapist hates his job. He is a professional and has gone through a lot of schooling for his profession and makes a very decent living.

He's been wrestling with this hatred of his job pretty much since he has been working in this stressful and demanding line of work. I think particularly since he has become a father, it has gotten a lot worse, as the time he spends with DC is very limited (pretty much only on the weekends). This completely breaks him up inside.

I love my DH so much and my bottom line is that I want him to be happy and healthy and loving all aspects of his life. If that means that his salary gets cut in half or a third or whatever, I don't care. He's been toying with the idea of starting a business in a completely different line of work with some family members, but the business they want to get into won't be profitable for a couple of years (as in no salary for a couple of years as they would roll all of their profits into the new business until it becomes very profitable).

I struggle with DH on various money issues. I don't need to be driving a fancy car or living in a fancy house. I don't need expensive vacations. I'm up for selling our home, taking the equity and running so he can quit his job and get the business off and running. I would happily sacrifice all of this so DH can be happy. He will not budge on this and I just feel like it's a neverending spiral.

He had a job interview last week for a job that was lesser paying, less stressful, and less hours and was literally 5 minutes from our home (as opposed to 30 minutes where he currently works). Well, he was over-qualified and got turned down for the job about an hour ago. So now he's thinking he wants to stay where he is at least until early next spring so he can get a big bonus and then think about quitting and getting the business off the ground. He said that last year for this year's bonus and it makes me crazy. He's just so wrapped up in the green and it makes me want to scream, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY!!!

If your DH hates his job, too, how do you deal with it?

I do feel somewhat better now that I posted this. Maybe it's time for me to go to the therapist with DH so my voice can be heard. I went once in the beginning when he started therapy just so the therapist could sort of know my take on things. I told him all of this, but maybe he needs a refresher. Although, I'm not too sure the therapy is even working.

Alright, thanks for allowing me to vent.

Wife of a Husband who hates his job

[Myhusbandhateshisjob]

I had to change my ID in case any of our friends might be reading this and don't know of our predicament. With that said...

...my DH absolutely hates his job. I'm talking tears his stomach up, makes him physically ill with headaches, goes to a therapist hates his job. He is a professional and has gone through a lot of schooling for his profession and makes a very decent living.

He's been wrestling with this hatred of his job pretty much since he has been working in this stressful and demanding line of work. I think particularly since he has become a father, it has gotten a lot worse, as the time he spends with DC is very limited (pretty much only on the weekends). This completely breaks him up inside.

I love my DH so much and my bottom line is that I want him to be happy and healthy and loving all aspects of his life. If that means that his salary gets cut in half or a third or whatever, I don't care. He's been toying with the idea of starting a business in a completely different line of work with some family members, but the business they want to get into won't be profitable for a couple of years (as in no salary for a couple of years as they would roll all of their profits into the new business until it becomes very profitable).

I struggle with DH on various money issues. I don't need to be driving a fancy car or living in a fancy house. I don't need expensive vacations. I'm up for selling our home, taking the equity and running so he can quit his job and get the business off and running. I would happily sacrifice all of this so DH can be happy. He will not budge on this and I just feel like it's a neverending spiral.

He had a job interview last week for a job that was lesser paying, less stressful, and less hours and was literally 5 minutes from our home (as opposed to 30 minutes where he currently works). Well, he was over-qualified and got turned down for the job about an hour ago. So now he's thinking he wants to stay where he is at least until early next spring so he can get a big bonus and then think about quitting and getting the business off the ground. He said that last year for this year's bonus and it makes me crazy. He's just so wrapped up in the green and it makes me want to scream, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY!!!

If your DH hates his job, too, how do you deal with it?

I do feel somewhat better now that I posted this. Maybe it's time for me to go to the therapist with DH so my voice can be heard. I went once in the beginning when he started therapy just so the therapist could sort of know my take on things. I told him all of this, but maybe he needs a refresher. Although, I'm not too sure the therapy is even working.

Alright, thanks for allowing me to vent.

Wife of a Husband who hates his job

[Myhusbandhateshisjob]

I had to change my ID in case any of our friends might be reading this and don't know of our predicament. With that said...

...my DH absolutely hates his job. I'm talking tears his stomach up, makes him physically ill with headaches, goes to a therapist hates his job. He is a professional and has gone through a lot of schooling for his profession and makes a very decent living.

He's been wrestling with this hatred of his job pretty much since he has been working in this stressful and demanding line of work. I think particularly since he has become a father, it has gotten a lot worse, as the time he spends with DC is very limited (pretty much only on the weekends). This completely breaks him up inside.

I love my DH so much and my bottom line is that I want him to be happy and healthy and loving all aspects of his life. If that means that his salary gets cut in half or a third or whatever, I don't care. He's been toying with the idea of starting a business in a completely different line of work with some family members, but the business they want to get into won't be profitable for a couple of years (as in no salary for a couple of years as they would roll all of their profits into the new business until it becomes very profitable).

I struggle with DH on various money issues. I don't need to be driving a fancy car or living in a fancy house. I don't need expensive vacations. I'm up for selling our home, taking the equity and running so he can quit his job and get the business off and running. I would happily sacrifice all of this so DH can be happy. He will not budge on this and I just feel like it's a neverending spiral.

He had a job interview last week for a job that was lesser paying, less stressful, and less hours and was literally 5 minutes from our home (as opposed to 30 minutes where he currently works). Well, he was over-qualified and got turned down for the job about an hour ago. So now he's thinking he wants to stay where he is at least until early next spring so he can get a big bonus and then think about quitting and getting the business off the ground. He said that last year for this year's bonus and it makes me crazy. He's just so wrapped up in the green and it makes me want to scream, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY!!!

If your DH hates his job, too, how do you deal with it?

I do feel somewhat better now that I posted this. Maybe it's time for me to go to the therapist with DH so my voice can be heard. I went once in the beginning when he started therapy just so the therapist could sort of know my take on things. I told him all of this, but maybe he needs a refresher. Although, I'm not too sure the therapy is even working.

Alright, thanks for allowing me to vent.

Wife of a Husband who hates his job

[Myhusbandhateshisjob]

I had to change my ID in case any of our friends might be reading this and don't know of our predicament. With that said...

...my DH absolutely hates his job. I'm talking tears his stomach up, makes him physically ill with headaches, goes to a therapist hates his job. He is a professional and has gone through a lot of schooling for his profession and makes a very decent living.

He's been wrestling with this hatred of his job pretty much since he has been working in this stressful and demanding line of work. I think particularly since he has become a father, it has gotten a lot worse, as the time he spends with DC is very limited (pretty much only on the weekends). This completely breaks him up inside.

I love my DH so much and my bottom line is that I want him to be happy and healthy and loving all aspects of his life. If that means that his salary gets cut in half or a third or whatever, I don't care. He's been toying with the idea of starting a business in a completely different line of work with some family members, but the business they want to get into won't be profitable for a couple of years (as in no salary for a couple of years as they would roll all of their profits into the new business until it becomes very profitable).

I struggle with DH on various money issues. I don't need to be driving a fancy car or living in a fancy house. I don't need expensive vacations. I'm up for selling our home, taking the equity and running so he can quit his job and get the business off and running. I would happily sacrifice all of this so DH can be happy. He will not budge on this and I just feel like it's a neverending spiral.

He had a job interview last week for a job that was lesser paying, less stressful, and less hours and was literally 5 minutes from our home (as opposed to 30 minutes where he currently works). Well, he was over-qualified and got turned down for the job about an hour ago. So now he's thinking he wants to stay where he is at least until early next spring so he can get a big bonus and then think about quitting and getting the business off the ground. He said that last year for this year's bonus and it makes me crazy. He's just so wrapped up in the green and it makes me want to scream, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY!!!

If your DH hates his job, too, how do you deal with it?

I do feel somewhat better now that I posted this. Maybe it's time for me to go to the therapist with DH so my voice can be heard. I went once in the beginning when he started therapy just so the therapist could sort of know my take on things. I told him all of this, but maybe he needs a refresher. Although, I'm not too sure the therapy is even working.

Alright, thanks for allowing me to vent.

Wife of a Husband who hates his job

[Myhusbandhateshisjob]

I had to change my ID in case any of our friends might be reading this and don't know of our predicament. With that said...

...my DH absolutely hates his job. I'm talking tears his stomach up, makes him physically ill with headaches, goes to a therapist hates his job. He is a professional and has gone through a lot of schooling for his profession and makes a very decent living.

He's been wrestling with this hatred of his job pretty much since he has been working in this stressful and demanding line of work. I think particularly since he has become a father, it has gotten a lot worse, as the time he spends with DC is very limited (pretty much only on the weekends). This completely breaks him up inside.

I love my DH so much and my bottom line is that I want him to be happy and healthy and loving all aspects of his life. If that means that his salary gets cut in half or a third or whatever, I don't care. He's been toying with the idea of starting a business in a completely different line of work with some family members, but the business they want to get into won't be profitable for a couple of years (as in no salary for a couple of years as they would roll all of their profits into the new business until it becomes very profitable).

I struggle with DH on various money issues. I don't need to be driving a fancy car or living in a fancy house. I don't need expensive vacations. I'm up for selling our home, taking the equity and running so he can quit his job and get the business off and running. I would happily sacrifice all of this so DH can be happy. He will not budge on this and I just feel like it's a neverending spiral.

He had a job interview last week for a job that was lesser paying, less stressful, and less hours and was literally 5 minutes from our home (as opposed to 30 minutes where he currently works). Well, he was over-qualified and got turned down for the job about an hour ago. So now he's thinking he wants to stay where he is at least until early next spring so he can get a big bonus and then think about quitting and getting the business off the ground. He said that last year for this year's bonus and it makes me crazy. He's just so wrapped up in the green and it makes me want to scream, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY!!!

If your DH hates his job, too, how do you deal with it?

I do feel somewhat better now that I posted this. Maybe it's time for me to go to the therapist with DH so my voice can be heard. I went once in the beginning when he started therapy just so the therapist could sort of know my take on things. I told him all of this, but maybe he needs a refresher. Although, I'm not too sure the therapy is even working.

Alright, thanks for allowing me to vent.

Wife of a Husband who hates his job

[Myhusbandhateshisjob]

I had to change my ID in case any of our friends might be reading this and don't know of our predicament. With that said...

...my DH absolutely hates his job. I'm talking tears his stomach up, makes him physically ill with headaches, goes to a therapist hates his job. He is a professional and has gone through a lot of schooling for his profession and makes a very decent living.

He's been wrestling with this hatred of his job pretty much since he has been working in this stressful and demanding line of work. I think particularly since he has become a father, it has gotten a lot worse, as the time he spends with DC is very limited (pretty much only on the weekends). This completely breaks him up inside.

I love my DH so much and my bottom line is that I want him to be happy and healthy and loving all aspects of his life. If that means that his salary gets cut in half or a third or whatever, I don't care. He's been toying with the idea of starting a business in a completely different line of work with some family members, but the business they want to get into won't be profitable for a couple of years (as in no salary for a couple of years as they would roll all of their profits into the new business until it becomes very profitable).

I struggle with DH on various money issues. I don't need to be driving a fancy car or living in a fancy house. I don't need expensive vacations. I'm up for selling our home, taking the equity and running so he can quit his job and get the business off and running. I would happily sacrifice all of this so DH can be happy. He will not budge on this and I just feel like it's a neverending spiral.

He had a job interview last week for a job that was lesser paying, less stressful, and less hours and was literally 5 minutes from our home (as opposed to 30 minutes where he currently works). Well, he was over-qualified and got turned down for the job about an hour ago. So now he's thinking he wants to stay where he is at least until early next spring so he can get a big bonus and then think about quitting and getting the business off the ground. He said that last year for this year's bonus and it makes me crazy. He's just so wrapped up in the green and it makes me want to scream, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY!!!

If your DH hates his job, too, how do you deal with it?

I do feel somewhat better now that I posted this. Maybe it's time for me to go to the therapist with DH so my voice can be heard. I went once in the beginning when he started therapy just so the therapist could sort of know my take on things. I told him all of this, but maybe he needs a refresher. Although, I'm not too sure the therapy is even working.

Alright, thanks for allowing me to vent.

Wife of a Husband who hates his job

[Myhusbandhateshisjob]

I had to change my ID in case any of our friends might be reading this and don't know of our predicament. With that said...

...my DH absolutely hates his job. I'm talking tears his stomach up, makes him physically ill with headaches, goes to a therapist hates his job. He is a professional and has gone through a lot of schooling for his profession and makes a very decent living.

He's been wrestling with this hatred of his job pretty much since he has been working in this stressful and demanding line of work. I think particularly since he has become a father, it has gotten a lot worse, as the time he spends with DC is very limited (pretty much only on the weekends). This completely breaks him up inside.

I love my DH so much and my bottom line is that I want him to be happy and healthy and loving all aspects of his life. If that means that his salary gets cut in half or a third or whatever, I don't care. He's been toying with the idea of starting a business in a completely different line of work with some family members, but the business they want to get into won't be profitable for a couple of years (as in no salary for a couple of years as they would roll all of their profits into the new business until it becomes very profitable).

I struggle with DH on various money issues. I don't need to be driving a fancy car or living in a fancy house. I don't need expensive vacations. I'm up for selling our home, taking the equity and running so he can quit his job and get the business off and running. I would happily sacrifice all of this so DH can be happy. He will not budge on this and I just feel like it's a neverending spiral.

He had a job interview last week for a job that was lesser paying, less stressful, and less hours and was literally 5 minutes from our home (as opposed to 30 minutes where he currently works). Well, he was over-qualified and got turned down for the job about an hour ago. So now he's thinking he wants to stay where he is at least until early next spring so he can get a big bonus and then think about quitting and getting the business off the ground. He said that last year for this year's bonus and it makes me crazy. He's just so wrapped up in the green and it makes me want to scream, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY!!!

If your DH hates his job, too, how do you deal with it?

I do feel somewhat better now that I posted this. Maybe it's time for me to go to the therapist with DH so my voice can be heard. I went once in the beginning when he started therapy just so the therapist could sort of know my take on things. I told him all of this, but maybe he needs a refresher. Although, I'm not too sure the therapy is even working.

Alright, thanks for allowing me to vent.

Wife of a Husband who hates his job

[Myhusbandhateshisjob]

I had to change my ID in case any of our friends might be reading this and don't know of our predicament. With that said...

...my DH absolutely hates his job. I'm talking tears his stomach up, makes him physically ill with headaches, goes to a therapist hates his job. He is a professional and has gone through a lot of schooling for his profession and makes a very decent living.

He's been wrestling with this hatred of his job pretty much since he has been working in this stressful and demanding line of work. I think particularly since he has become a father, it has gotten a lot worse, as the time he spends with DC is very limited (pretty much only on the weekends). This completely breaks him up inside.

I love my DH so much and my bottom line is that I want him to be happy and healthy and loving all aspects of his life. If that means that his salary gets cut in half or a third or whatever, I don't care. He's been toying with the idea of starting a business in a completely different line of work with some family members, but the business they want to get into won't be profitable for a couple of years (as in no salary for a couple of years as they would roll all of their profits into the new business until it becomes very profitable).

I struggle with DH on various money issues. I don't need to be driving a fancy car or living in a fancy house. I don't need expensive vacations. I'm up for selling our home, taking the equity and running so he can quit his job and get the business off and running. I would happily sacrifice all of this so DH can be happy. He will not budge on this and I just feel like it's a neverending spiral.

He had a job interview last week for a job that was lesser paying, less stressful, and less hours and was literally 5 minutes from our home (as opposed to 30 minutes where he currently works). Well, he was over-qualified and got turned down for the job about an hour ago. So now he's thinking he wants to stay where he is at least until early next spring so he can get a big bonus and then think about quitting and getting the business off the ground. He said that last year for this year's bonus and it makes me crazy. He's just so wrapped up in the green and it makes me want to scream, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY!!!

If your DH hates his job, too, how do you deal with it?

I do feel somewhat better now that I posted this. Maybe it's time for me to go to the therapist with DH so my voice can be heard. I went once in the beginning when he started therapy just so the therapist could sort of know my take on things. I told him all of this, but maybe he needs a refresher. Although, I'm not too sure the therapy is even working.

Alright, thanks for allowing me to vent.

Wife of a Husband who hates his job

[boolady]

I was here for the first 2 years of my marriage. My DH had a job that he LOVED for many years, got a very significant promotion, and HATED it. Unfortunately, before he took it, he suspected that he was going to hate it, but didn't really see himself as having the option of turning it down. Within 3-4 months of starting the job, he began having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep at night, became incredibly irritable, and was like a different person. Like your DH, he pretty much hated his existence. I finally made him go to the family doctor and talk about it, who recommended he go see a therapist, who diagnosed him with situational anxiety disorder/depression. I know he was unhappy, but I don't know if he even saw how different he was acting and his outlook was about life. After 2 years of this, he finally decided to ask for a change of position within his company (where he had worked for 13 years), and was basically told that if he didn't like his job to get out. So he did. Unfortunately, he got an offer within 1 week of looking with a company that I knew he wasn't going to like, but thought would be better. He went there, and that job was quite frankly hell on earth. He lost probably 10-15 lbs. in the first 6 months he was there, and hated every minute of it, but I know was reluctant to say too much to me, because he had taken a pretty big pay cut to get there.

The one good thing was that while he was at this job, he kept in near constant contact with a person from a company he really wanted to get into who did not have any openings for him when he was trying to get out of his first job. Last fall, they had an opening for him and he got in. He is now VERY happy again, loves his job, is healthy, sleeping, and sees his psychologist once every six weeks (at its worst, he was there twice a month). She is about ready to discharge him but thought that he should stay at least through his first full year at the job and with a first baby coming, might want to stay on just until the end of this year.

To take this job, he took another fairly significant pay cut, so things financially for us are obviously not where they were when we got married. I DON'T CARE. I am so happy that he is happy, given that he spends 50-60 hours per week at work and really enjoys it, which is more than many people can say. Like you, I don't care about the money, will deal with whatever the financial ramifications are, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that, given that both of us will have to work full-time until we can afford to retire, we are happy at our jobs. Through his experience, I have learned the hard way that you spend too much time at work to say that as long as you're happy at home, it doesn't matter if you don't like your job. It does. We have a pipe dream about opening a business together one day, and I really think we could do it-- we met at work when he was my boss. We were a great team. Whether that happens or not, I don't care.

I just think life is too short to spend most of your waking hours in a miserable job. Honestly, I think that men feel a lot of pressure from society/their families, etc. to go for the job that makes the most money, has the most prestige, etc. I am not patting myself on the back, but I really don't think that if I hadn't encouraged him to make a change he would have done so, because of pressures from other places. To me, it's enough that my DH is a really good person, will be a great father, is a hard worker, and has integrity. I really believe that if he hadn't made this change, I don't know if we would be expecting a baby right now, or even still be together, because his horrible work experience essentially made him withdraw from life.

I don't know if this will help...I just have to tell you that I think the most important thing you can do is reinforce to him all of things that you DON'T care about...money, a big house, etc., because I bet he is feeling pressure from people somewhere to provide those things. You clearly love your DH, and he is lucky to have that. Whether he likes to hear it or not, you might just have to keep hammering away at telling him that he needs to make a change for his sake and your family's. GOOD LUCK.

[boolady]

I was here for the first 2 years of my marriage. My DH had a job that he LOVED for many years, got a very significant promotion, and HATED it. Unfortunately, before he took it, he suspected that he was going to hate it, but didn't really see himself as having the option of turning it down. Within 3-4 months of starting the job, he began having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep at night, became incredibly irritable, and was like a different person. Like your DH, he pretty much hated his existence. I finally made him go to the family doctor and talk about it, who recommended he go see a therapist, who diagnosed him with situational anxiety disorder/depression. I know he was unhappy, but I don't know if he even saw how different he was acting and his outlook was about life. After 2 years of this, he finally decided to ask for a change of position within his company (where he had worked for 13 years), and was basically told that if he didn't like his job to get out. So he did. Unfortunately, he got an offer within 1 week of looking with a company that I knew he wasn't going to like, but thought would be better. He went there, and that job was quite frankly hell on earth. He lost probably 10-15 lbs. in the first 6 months he was there, and hated every minute of it, but I know was reluctant to say too much to me, because he had taken a pretty big pay cut to get there.

The one good thing was that while he was at this job, he kept in near constant contact with a person from a company he really wanted to get into who did not have any openings for him when he was trying to get out of his first job. Last fall, they had an opening for him and he got in. He is now VERY happy again, loves his job, is healthy, sleeping, and sees his psychologist once every six weeks (at its worst, he was there twice a month). She is about ready to discharge him but thought that he should stay at least through his first full year at the job and with a first baby coming, might want to stay on just until the end of this year.

To take this job, he took another fairly significant pay cut, so things financially for us are obviously not where they were when we got married. I DON'T CARE. I am so happy that he is happy, given that he spends 50-60 hours per week at work and really enjoys it, which is more than many people can say. Like you, I don't care about the money, will deal with whatever the financial ramifications are, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that, given that both of us will have to work full-time until we can afford to retire, we are happy at our jobs. Through his experience, I have learned the hard way that you spend too much time at work to say that as long as you're happy at home, it doesn't matter if you don't like your job. It does. We have a pipe dream about opening a business together one day, and I really think we could do it-- we met at work when he was my boss. We were a great team. Whether that happens or not, I don't care.

I just think life is too short to spend most of your waking hours in a miserable job. Honestly, I think that men feel a lot of pressure from society/their families, etc. to go for the job that makes the most money, has the most prestige, etc. I am not patting myself on the back, but I really don't think that if I hadn't encouraged him to make a change he would have done so, because of pressures from other places. To me, it's enough that my DH is a really good person, will be a great father, is a hard worker, and has integrity. I really believe that if he hadn't made this change, I don't know if we would be expecting a baby right now, or even still be together, because his horrible work experience essentially made him withdraw from life.

I don't know if this will help...I just have to tell you that I think the most important thing you can do is reinforce to him all of things that you DON'T care about...money, a big house, etc., because I bet he is feeling pressure from people somewhere to provide those things. You clearly love your DH, and he is lucky to have that. Whether he likes to hear it or not, you might just have to keep hammering away at telling him that he needs to make a change for his sake and your family's. GOOD LUCK.

[boolady]

I was here for the first 2 years of my marriage. My DH had a job that he LOVED for many years, got a very significant promotion, and HATED it. Unfortunately, before he took it, he suspected that he was going to hate it, but didn't really see himself as having the option of turning it down. Within 3-4 months of starting the job, he began having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep at night, became incredibly irritable, and was like a different person. Like your DH, he pretty much hated his existence. I finally made him go to the family doctor and talk about it, who recommended he go see a therapist, who diagnosed him with situational anxiety disorder/depression. I know he was unhappy, but I don't know if he even saw how different he was acting and his outlook was about life. After 2 years of this, he finally decided to ask for a change of position within his company (where he had worked for 13 years), and was basically told that if he didn't like his job to get out. So he did. Unfortunately, he got an offer within 1 week of looking with a company that I knew he wasn't going to like, but thought would be better. He went there, and that job was quite frankly hell on earth. He lost probably 10-15 lbs. in the first 6 months he was there, and hated every minute of it, but I know was reluctant to say too much to me, because he had taken a pretty big pay cut to get there.

The one good thing was that while he was at this job, he kept in near constant contact with a person from a company he really wanted to get into who did not have any openings for him when he was trying to get out of his first job. Last fall, they had an opening for him and he got in. He is now VERY happy again, loves his job, is healthy, sleeping, and sees his psychologist once every six weeks (at its worst, he was there twice a month). She is about ready to discharge him but thought that he should stay at least through his first full year at the job and with a first baby coming, might want to stay on just until the end of this year.

To take this job, he took another fairly significant pay cut, so things financially for us are obviously not where they were when we got married. I DON'T CARE. I am so happy that he is happy, given that he spends 50-60 hours per week at work and really enjoys it, which is more than many people can say. Like you, I don't care about the money, will deal with whatever the financial ramifications are, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that, given that both of us will have to work full-time until we can afford to retire, we are happy at our jobs. Through his experience, I have learned the hard way that you spend too much time at work to say that as long as you're happy at home, it doesn't matter if you don't like your job. It does. We have a pipe dream about opening a business together one day, and I really think we could do it-- we met at work when he was my boss. We were a great team. Whether that happens or not, I don't care.

I just think life is too short to spend most of your waking hours in a miserable job. Honestly, I think that men feel a lot of pressure from society/their families, etc. to go for the job that makes the most money, has the most prestige, etc. I am not patting myself on the back, but I really don't think that if I hadn't encouraged him to make a change he would have done so, because of pressures from other places. To me, it's enough that my DH is a really good person, will be a great father, is a hard worker, and has integrity. I really believe that if he hadn't made this change, I don't know if we would be expecting a baby right now, or even still be together, because his horrible work experience essentially made him withdraw from life.

I don't know if this will help...I just have to tell you that I think the most important thing you can do is reinforce to him all of things that you DON'T care about...money, a big house, etc., because I bet he is feeling pressure from people somewhere to provide those things. You clearly love your DH, and he is lucky to have that. Whether he likes to hear it or not, you might just have to keep hammering away at telling him that he needs to make a change for his sake and your family's. GOOD LUCK.

[boolady]

I was here for the first 2 years of my marriage. My DH had a job that he LOVED for many years, got a very significant promotion, and HATED it. Unfortunately, before he took it, he suspected that he was going to hate it, but didn't really see himself as having the option of turning it down. Within 3-4 months of starting the job, he began having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep at night, became incredibly irritable, and was like a different person. Like your DH, he pretty much hated his existence. I finally made him go to the family doctor and talk about it, who recommended he go see a therapist, who diagnosed him with situational anxiety disorder/depression. I know he was unhappy, but I don't know if he even saw how different he was acting and his outlook was about life. After 2 years of this, he finally decided to ask for a change of position within his company (where he had worked for 13 years), and was basically told that if he didn't like his job to get out. So he did. Unfortunately, he got an offer within 1 week of looking with a company that I knew he wasn't going to like, but thought would be better. He went there, and that job was quite frankly hell on earth. He lost probably 10-15 lbs. in the first 6 months he was there, and hated every minute of it, but I know was reluctant to say too much to me, because he had taken a pretty big pay cut to get there.

The one good thing was that while he was at this job, he kept in near constant contact with a person from a company he really wanted to get into who did not have any openings for him when he was trying to get out of his first job. Last fall, they had an opening for him and he got in. He is now VERY happy again, loves his job, is healthy, sleeping, and sees his psychologist once every six weeks (at its worst, he was there twice a month). She is about ready to discharge him but thought that he should stay at least through his first full year at the job and with a first baby coming, might want to stay on just until the end of this year.

To take this job, he took another fairly significant pay cut, so things financially for us are obviously not where they were when we got married. I DON'T CARE. I am so happy that he is happy, given that he spends 50-60 hours per week at work and really enjoys it, which is more than many people can say. Like you, I don't care about the money, will deal with whatever the financial ramifications are, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that, given that both of us will have to work full-time until we can afford to retire, we are happy at our jobs. Through his experience, I have learned the hard way that you spend too much time at work to say that as long as you're happy at home, it doesn't matter if you don't like your job. It does. We have a pipe dream about opening a business together one day, and I really think we could do it-- we met at work when he was my boss. We were a great team. Whether that happens or not, I don't care.

I just think life is too short to spend most of your waking hours in a miserable job. Honestly, I think that men feel a lot of pressure from society/their families, etc. to go for the job that makes the most money, has the most prestige, etc. I am not patting myself on the back, but I really don't think that if I hadn't encouraged him to make a change he would have done so, because of pressures from other places. To me, it's enough that my DH is a really good person, will be a great father, is a hard worker, and has integrity. I really believe that if he hadn't made this change, I don't know if we would be expecting a baby right now, or even still be together, because his horrible work experience essentially made him withdraw from life.

I don't know if this will help...I just have to tell you that I think the most important thing you can do is reinforce to him all of things that you DON'T care about...money, a big house, etc., because I bet he is feeling pressure from people somewhere to provide those things. You clearly love your DH, and he is lucky to have that. Whether he likes to hear it or not, you might just have to keep hammering away at telling him that he needs to make a change for his sake and your family's. GOOD LUCK.

[boolady]

I was here for the first 2 years of my marriage. My DH had a job that he LOVED for many years, got a very significant promotion, and HATED it. Unfortunately, before he took it, he suspected that he was going to hate it, but didn't really see himself as having the option of turning it down. Within 3-4 months of starting the job, he began having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep at night, became incredibly irritable, and was like a different person. Like your DH, he pretty much hated his existence. I finally made him go to the family doctor and talk about it, who recommended he go see a therapist, who diagnosed him with situational anxiety disorder/depression. I know he was unhappy, but I don't know if he even saw how different he was acting and his outlook was about life. After 2 years of this, he finally decided to ask for a change of position within his company (where he had worked for 13 years), and was basically told that if he didn't like his job to get out. So he did. Unfortunately, he got an offer within 1 week of looking with a company that I knew he wasn't going to like, but thought would be better. He went there, and that job was quite frankly hell on earth. He lost probably 10-15 lbs. in the first 6 months he was there, and hated every minute of it, but I know was reluctant to say too much to me, because he had taken a pretty big pay cut to get there.

The one good thing was that while he was at this job, he kept in near constant contact with a person from a company he really wanted to get into who did not have any openings for him when he was trying to get out of his first job. Last fall, they had an opening for him and he got in. He is now VERY happy again, loves his job, is healthy, sleeping, and sees his psychologist once every six weeks (at its worst, he was there twice a month). She is about ready to discharge him but thought that he should stay at least through his first full year at the job and with a first baby coming, might want to stay on just until the end of this year.

To take this job, he took another fairly significant pay cut, so things financially for us are obviously not where they were when we got married. I DON'T CARE. I am so happy that he is happy, given that he spends 50-60 hours per week at work and really enjoys it, which is more than many people can say. Like you, I don't care about the money, will deal with whatever the financial ramifications are, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that, given that both of us will have to work full-time until we can afford to retire, we are happy at our jobs. Through his experience, I have learned the hard way that you spend too much time at work to say that as long as you're happy at home, it doesn't matter if you don't like your job. It does. We have a pipe dream about opening a business together one day, and I really think we could do it-- we met at work when he was my boss. We were a great team. Whether that happens or not, I don't care.

I just think life is too short to spend most of your waking hours in a miserable job. Honestly, I think that men feel a lot of pressure from society/their families, etc. to go for the job that makes the most money, has the most prestige, etc. I am not patting myself on the back, but I really don't think that if I hadn't encouraged him to make a change he would have done so, because of pressures from other places. To me, it's enough that my DH is a really good person, will be a great father, is a hard worker, and has integrity. I really believe that if he hadn't made this change, I don't know if we would be expecting a baby right now, or even still be together, because his horrible work experience essentially made him withdraw from life.

I don't know if this will help...I just have to tell you that I think the most important thing you can do is reinforce to him all of things that you DON'T care about...money, a big house, etc., because I bet he is feeling pressure from people somewhere to provide those things. You clearly love your DH, and he is lucky to have that. Whether he likes to hear it or not, you might just have to keep hammering away at telling him that he needs to make a change for his sake and your family's. GOOD LUCK.

[boolady]

I was here for the first 2 years of my marriage. My DH had a job that he LOVED for many years, got a very significant promotion, and HATED it. Unfortunately, before he took it, he suspected that he was going to hate it, but didn't really see himself as having the option of turning it down. Within 3-4 months of starting the job, he began having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep at night, became incredibly irritable, and was like a different person. Like your DH, he pretty much hated his existence. I finally made him go to the family doctor and talk about it, who recommended he go see a therapist, who diagnosed him with situational anxiety disorder/depression. I know he was unhappy, but I don't know if he even saw how different he was acting and his outlook was about life. After 2 years of this, he finally decided to ask for a change of position within his company (where he had worked for 13 years), and was basically told that if he didn't like his job to get out. So he did. Unfortunately, he got an offer within 1 week of looking with a company that I knew he wasn't going to like, but thought would be better. He went there, and that job was quite frankly hell on earth. He lost probably 10-15 lbs. in the first 6 months he was there, and hated every minute of it, but I know was reluctant to say too much to me, because he had taken a pretty big pay cut to get there.

The one good thing was that while he was at this job, he kept in near constant contact with a person from a company he really wanted to get into who did not have any openings for him when he was trying to get out of his first job. Last fall, they had an opening for him and he got in. He is now VERY happy again, loves his job, is healthy, sleeping, and sees his psychologist once every six weeks (at its worst, he was there twice a month). She is about ready to discharge him but thought that he should stay at least through his first full year at the job and with a first baby coming, might want to stay on just until the end of this year.

To take this job, he took another fairly significant pay cut, so things financially for us are obviously not where they were when we got married. I DON'T CARE. I am so happy that he is happy, given that he spends 50-60 hours per week at work and really enjoys it, which is more than many people can say. Like you, I don't care about the money, will deal with whatever the financial ramifications are, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that, given that both of us will have to work full-time until we can afford to retire, we are happy at our jobs. Through his experience, I have learned the hard way that you spend too much time at work to say that as long as you're happy at home, it doesn't matter if you don't like your job. It does. We have a pipe dream about opening a business together one day, and I really think we could do it-- we met at work when he was my boss. We were a great team. Whether that happens or not, I don't care.

I just think life is too short to spend most of your waking hours in a miserable job. Honestly, I think that men feel a lot of pressure from society/their families, etc. to go for the job that makes the most money, has the most prestige, etc. I am not patting myself on the back, but I really don't think that if I hadn't encouraged him to make a change he would have done so, because of pressures from other places. To me, it's enough that my DH is a really good person, will be a great father, is a hard worker, and has integrity. I really believe that if he hadn't made this change, I don't know if we would be expecting a baby right now, or even still be together, because his horrible work experience essentially made him withdraw from life.

I don't know if this will help...I just have to tell you that I think the most important thing you can do is reinforce to him all of things that you DON'T care about...money, a big house, etc., because I bet he is feeling pressure from people somewhere to provide those things. You clearly love your DH, and he is lucky to have that. Whether he likes to hear it or not, you might just have to keep hammering away at telling him that he needs to make a change for his sake and your family's. GOOD LUCK.

[boolady]

I was here for the first 2 years of my marriage. My DH had a job that he LOVED for many years, got a very significant promotion, and HATED it. Unfortunately, before he took it, he suspected that he was going to hate it, but didn't really see himself as having the option of turning it down. Within 3-4 months of starting the job, he began having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep at night, became incredibly irritable, and was like a different person. Like your DH, he pretty much hated his existence. I finally made him go to the family doctor and talk about it, who recommended he go see a therapist, who diagnosed him with situational anxiety disorder/depression. I know he was unhappy, but I don't know if he even saw how different he was acting and his outlook was about life. After 2 years of this, he finally decided to ask for a change of position within his company (where he had worked for 13 years), and was basically told that if he didn't like his job to get out. So he did. Unfortunately, he got an offer within 1 week of looking with a company that I knew he wasn't going to like, but thought would be better. He went there, and that job was quite frankly hell on earth. He lost probably 10-15 lbs. in the first 6 months he was there, and hated every minute of it, but I know was reluctant to say too much to me, because he had taken a pretty big pay cut to get there.

The one good thing was that while he was at this job, he kept in near constant contact with a person from a company he really wanted to get into who did not have any openings for him when he was trying to get out of his first job. Last fall, they had an opening for him and he got in. He is now VERY happy again, loves his job, is healthy, sleeping, and sees his psychologist once every six weeks (at its worst, he was there twice a month). She is about ready to discharge him but thought that he should stay at least through his first full year at the job and with a first baby coming, might want to stay on just until the end of this year.

To take this job, he took another fairly significant pay cut, so things financially for us are obviously not where they were when we got married. I DON'T CARE. I am so happy that he is happy, given that he spends 50-60 hours per week at work and really enjoys it, which is more than many people can say. Like you, I don't care about the money, will deal with whatever the financial ramifications are, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that, given that both of us will have to work full-time until we can afford to retire, we are happy at our jobs. Through his experience, I have learned the hard way that you spend too much time at work to say that as long as you're happy at home, it doesn't matter if you don't like your job. It does. We have a pipe dream about opening a business together one day, and I really think we could do it-- we met at work when he was my boss. We were a great team. Whether that happens or not, I don't care.

I just think life is too short to spend most of your waking hours in a miserable job. Honestly, I think that men feel a lot of pressure from society/their families, etc. to go for the job that makes the most money, has the most prestige, etc. I am not patting myself on the back, but I really don't think that if I hadn't encouraged him to make a change he would have done so, because of pressures from other places. To me, it's enough that my DH is a really good person, will be a great father, is a hard worker, and has integrity. I really believe that if he hadn't made this change, I don't know if we would be expecting a baby right now, or even still be together, because his horrible work experience essentially made him withdraw from life.

I don't know if this will help...I just have to tell you that I think the most important thing you can do is reinforce to him all of things that you DON'T care about...money, a big house, etc., because I bet he is feeling pressure from people somewhere to provide those things. You clearly love your DH, and he is lucky to have that. Whether he likes to hear it or not, you might just have to keep hammering away at telling him that he needs to make a change for his sake and your family's. GOOD LUCK.

[boolady]

I was here for the first 2 years of my marriage. My DH had a job that he LOVED for many years, got a very significant promotion, and HATED it. Unfortunately, before he took it, he suspected that he was going to hate it, but didn't really see himself as having the option of turning it down. Within 3-4 months of starting the job, he began having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep at night, became incredibly irritable, and was like a different person. Like your DH, he pretty much hated his existence. I finally made him go to the family doctor and talk about it, who recommended he go see a therapist, who diagnosed him with situational anxiety disorder/depression. I know he was unhappy, but I don't know if he even saw how different he was acting and his outlook was about life. After 2 years of this, he finally decided to ask for a change of position within his company (where he had worked for 13 years), and was basically told that if he didn't like his job to get out. So he did. Unfortunately, he got an offer within 1 week of looking with a company that I knew he wasn't going to like, but thought would be better. He went there, and that job was quite frankly hell on earth. He lost probably 10-15 lbs. in the first 6 months he was there, and hated every minute of it, but I know was reluctant to say too much to me, because he had taken a pretty big pay cut to get there.

The one good thing was that while he was at this job, he kept in near constant contact with a person from a company he really wanted to get into who did not have any openings for him when he was trying to get out of his first job. Last fall, they had an opening for him and he got in. He is now VERY happy again, loves his job, is healthy, sleeping, and sees his psychologist once every six weeks (at its worst, he was there twice a month). She is about ready to discharge him but thought that he should stay at least through his first full year at the job and with a first baby coming, might want to stay on just until the end of this year.

To take this job, he took another fairly significant pay cut, so things financially for us are obviously not where they were when we got married. I DON'T CARE. I am so happy that he is happy, given that he spends 50-60 hours per week at work and really enjoys it, which is more than many people can say. Like you, I don't care about the money, will deal with whatever the financial ramifications are, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that, given that both of us will have to work full-time until we can afford to retire, we are happy at our jobs. Through his experience, I have learned the hard way that you spend too much time at work to say that as long as you're happy at home, it doesn't matter if you don't like your job. It does. We have a pipe dream about opening a business together one day, and I really think we could do it-- we met at work when he was my boss. We were a great team. Whether that happens or not, I don't care.

I just think life is too short to spend most of your waking hours in a miserable job. Honestly, I think that men feel a lot of pressure from society/their families, etc. to go for the job that makes the most money, has the most prestige, etc. I am not patting myself on the back, but I really don't think that if I hadn't encouraged him to make a change he would have done so, because of pressures from other places. To me, it's enough that my DH is a really good person, will be a great father, is a hard worker, and has integrity. I really believe that if he hadn't made this change, I don't know if we would be expecting a baby right now, or even still be together, because his horrible work experience essentially made him withdraw from life.

I don't know if this will help...I just have to tell you that I think the most important thing you can do is reinforce to him all of things that you DON'T care about...money, a big house, etc., because I bet he is feeling pressure from people somewhere to provide those things. You clearly love your DH, and he is lucky to have that. Whether he likes to hear it or not, you might just have to keep hammering away at telling him that he needs to make a change for his sake and your family's. GOOD LUCK.

[boolady]

I was here for the first 2 years of my marriage. My DH had a job that he LOVED for many years, got a very significant promotion, and HATED it. Unfortunately, before he took it, he suspected that he was going to hate it, but didn't really see himself as having the option of turning it down. Within 3-4 months of starting the job, he began having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep at night, became incredibly irritable, and was like a different person. Like your DH, he pretty much hated his existence. I finally made him go to the family doctor and talk about it, who recommended he go see a therapist, who diagnosed him with situational anxiety disorder/depression. I know he was unhappy, but I don't know if he even saw how different he was acting and his outlook was about life. After 2 years of this, he finally decided to ask for a change of position within his company (where he had worked for 13 years), and was basically told that if he didn't like his job to get out. So he did. Unfortunately, he got an offer within 1 week of looking with a company that I knew he wasn't going to like, but thought would be better. He went there, and that job was quite frankly hell on earth. He lost probably 10-15 lbs. in the first 6 months he was there, and hated every minute of it, but I know was reluctant to say too much to me, because he had taken a pretty big pay cut to get there.

The one good thing was that while he was at this job, he kept in near constant contact with a person from a company he really wanted to get into who did not have any openings for him when he was trying to get out of his first job. Last fall, they had an opening for him and he got in. He is now VERY happy again, loves his job, is healthy, sleeping, and sees his psychologist once every six weeks (at its worst, he was there twice a month). She is about ready to discharge him but thought that he should stay at least through his first full year at the job and with a first baby coming, might want to stay on just until the end of this year.

To take this job, he took another fairly significant pay cut, so things financially for us are obviously not where they were when we got married. I DON'T CARE. I am so happy that he is happy, given that he spends 50-60 hours per week at work and really enjoys it, which is more than many people can say. Like you, I don't care about the money, will deal with whatever the financial ramifications are, and will do whatever it takes to make sure that, given that both of us will have to work full-time until we can afford to retire, we are happy at our jobs. Through his experience, I have learned the hard way that you spend too much time at work to say that as long as you're happy at home, it doesn't matter if you don't like your job. It does. We have a pipe dream about opening a business together one day, and I really think we could do it-- we met at work when he was my boss. We were a great team. Whether that happens or not, I don't care.

I just think life is too short to spend most of your waking hours in a miserable job. Honestly, I think that men feel a lot of pressure from society/their families, etc. to go for the job that makes the most money, has the most prestige, etc. I am not patting myself on the back, but I really don't think that if I hadn't encouraged him to make a change he would have done so, because of pressures from other places. To me, it's enough that my DH is a really good person, will be a great father, is a hard worker, and has integrity. I really believe that if he hadn't made this change, I don't know if we would be expecting a baby right now, or even still be together, because his horrible work experience essentially made him withdraw from life.

I don't know if this will help...I just have to tell you that I think the most important thing you can do is reinforce to him all of things that you DON'T care about...money, a big house, etc., because I bet he is feeling pressure from people somewhere to provide those things. You clearly love your DH, and he is lucky to have that. Whether he likes to hear it or not, you might just have to keep hammering away at telling him that he needs to make a change for his sake and your family's. GOOD LUCK.

[sidmand]

I understand where you're coming from. DH used to hate his job and now...well...

He just changed jobs recently because the other one was so awful for him. I do think it's a very hard road for them. They want to be the "breadwinner" but they also want to be there for their kids. I think it's very hard to give up the notion of making lots of money, especially when they can.

DH isn't so keen on his new job either. He's also thinking the hours aren't conducive at all to being a parent. I know he feels like he missed months of DS's life so far and doesn't want to miss even more. It's also to the point where DH only wants one child because he doesn't think he could be the father he wants to be and have the job he is currently in.

We're in a good situation where he knows he doesn't have to make a ton of money, but he does need the daily work environment (we learned that when he was laid off and also tried to work for my business). So, I don't have any solutions and I hate that DH isn't happy at what he does. I definitely think life is too short to do something you really hate if there's any way NOT to be doing it. Maybe you could go to the therapist again and if your DH could see you saying the same things to an outside person, he would be more apt to see that you mean it?

Good luck. I wish I had better answers.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I understand where you're coming from. DH used to hate his job and now...well...

He just changed jobs recently because the other one was so awful for him. I do think it's a very hard road for them. They want to be the "breadwinner" but they also want to be there for their kids. I think it's very hard to give up the notion of making lots of money, especially when they can.

DH isn't so keen on his new job either. He's also thinking the hours aren't conducive at all to being a parent. I know he feels like he missed months of DS's life so far and doesn't want to miss even more. It's also to the point where DH only wants one child because he doesn't think he could be the father he wants to be and have the job he is currently in.

We're in a good situation where he knows he doesn't have to make a ton of money, but he does need the daily work environment (we learned that when he was laid off and also tried to work for my business). So, I don't have any solutions and I hate that DH isn't happy at what he does. I definitely think life is too short to do something you really hate if there's any way NOT to be doing it. Maybe you could go to the therapist again and if your DH could see you saying the same things to an outside person, he would be more apt to see that you mean it?

Good luck. I wish I had better answers.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I understand where you're coming from. DH used to hate his job and now...well...

He just changed jobs recently because the other one was so awful for him. I do think it's a very hard road for them. They want to be the "breadwinner" but they also want to be there for their kids. I think it's very hard to give up the notion of making lots of money, especially when they can.

DH isn't so keen on his new job either. He's also thinking the hours aren't conducive at all to being a parent. I know he feels like he missed months of DS's life so far and doesn't want to miss even more. It's also to the point where DH only wants one child because he doesn't think he could be the father he wants to be and have the job he is currently in.

We're in a good situation where he knows he doesn't have to make a ton of money, but he does need the daily work environment (we learned that when he was laid off and also tried to work for my business). So, I don't have any solutions and I hate that DH isn't happy at what he does. I definitely think life is too short to do something you really hate if there's any way NOT to be doing it. Maybe you could go to the therapist again and if your DH could see you saying the same things to an outside person, he would be more apt to see that you mean it?

Good luck. I wish I had better answers.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I understand where you're coming from. DH used to hate his job and now...well...

He just changed jobs recently because the other one was so awful for him. I do think it's a very hard road for them. They want to be the "breadwinner" but they also want to be there for their kids. I think it's very hard to give up the notion of making lots of money, especially when they can.

DH isn't so keen on his new job either. He's also thinking the hours aren't conducive at all to being a parent. I know he feels like he missed months of DS's life so far and doesn't want to miss even more. It's also to the point where DH only wants one child because he doesn't think he could be the father he wants to be and have the job he is currently in.

We're in a good situation where he knows he doesn't have to make a ton of money, but he does need the daily work environment (we learned that when he was laid off and also tried to work for my business). So, I don't have any solutions and I hate that DH isn't happy at what he does. I definitely think life is too short to do something you really hate if there's any way NOT to be doing it. Maybe you could go to the therapist again and if your DH could see you saying the same things to an outside person, he would be more apt to see that you mean it?

Good luck. I wish I had better answers.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I understand where you're coming from. DH used to hate his job and now...well...

He just changed jobs recently because the other one was so awful for him. I do think it's a very hard road for them. They want to be the "breadwinner" but they also want to be there for their kids. I think it's very hard to give up the notion of making lots of money, especially when they can.

DH isn't so keen on his new job either. He's also thinking the hours aren't conducive at all to being a parent. I know he feels like he missed months of DS's life so far and doesn't want to miss even more. It's also to the point where DH only wants one child because he doesn't think he could be the father he wants to be and have the job he is currently in.

We're in a good situation where he knows he doesn't have to make a ton of money, but he does need the daily work environment (we learned that when he was laid off and also tried to work for my business). So, I don't have any solutions and I hate that DH isn't happy at what he does. I definitely think life is too short to do something you really hate if there's any way NOT to be doing it. Maybe you could go to the therapist again and if your DH could see you saying the same things to an outside person, he would be more apt to see that you mean it?

Good luck. I wish I had better answers.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I understand where you're coming from. DH used to hate his job and now...well...

He just changed jobs recently because the other one was so awful for him. I do think it's a very hard road for them. They want to be the "breadwinner" but they also want to be there for their kids. I think it's very hard to give up the notion of making lots of money, especially when they can.

DH isn't so keen on his new job either. He's also thinking the hours aren't conducive at all to being a parent. I know he feels like he missed months of DS's life so far and doesn't want to miss even more. It's also to the point where DH only wants one child because he doesn't think he could be the father he wants to be and have the job he is currently in.

We're in a good situation where he knows he doesn't have to make a ton of money, but he does need the daily work environment (we learned that when he was laid off and also tried to work for my business). So, I don't have any solutions and I hate that DH isn't happy at what he does. I definitely think life is too short to do something you really hate if there's any way NOT to be doing it. Maybe you could go to the therapist again and if your DH could see you saying the same things to an outside person, he would be more apt to see that you mean it?

Good luck. I wish I had better answers.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I understand where you're coming from. DH used to hate his job and now...well...

He just changed jobs recently because the other one was so awful for him. I do think it's a very hard road for them. They want to be the "breadwinner" but they also want to be there for their kids. I think it's very hard to give up the notion of making lots of money, especially when they can.

DH isn't so keen on his new job either. He's also thinking the hours aren't conducive at all to being a parent. I know he feels like he missed months of DS's life so far and doesn't want to miss even more. It's also to the point where DH only wants one child because he doesn't think he could be the father he wants to be and have the job he is currently in.

We're in a good situation where he knows he doesn't have to make a ton of money, but he does need the daily work environment (we learned that when he was laid off and also tried to work for my business). So, I don't have any solutions and I hate that DH isn't happy at what he does. I definitely think life is too short to do something you really hate if there's any way NOT to be doing it. Maybe you could go to the therapist again and if your DH could see you saying the same things to an outside person, he would be more apt to see that you mean it?

Good luck. I wish I had better answers.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I understand where you're coming from. DH used to hate his job and now...well...

He just changed jobs recently because the other one was so awful for him. I do think it's a very hard road for them. They want to be the "breadwinner" but they also want to be there for their kids. I think it's very hard to give up the notion of making lots of money, especially when they can.

DH isn't so keen on his new job either. He's also thinking the hours aren't conducive at all to being a parent. I know he feels like he missed months of DS's life so far and doesn't want to miss even more. It's also to the point where DH only wants one child because he doesn't think he could be the father he wants to be and have the job he is currently in.

We're in a good situation where he knows he doesn't have to make a ton of money, but he does need the daily work environment (we learned that when he was laid off and also tried to work for my business). So, I don't have any solutions and I hate that DH isn't happy at what he does. I definitely think life is too short to do something you really hate if there's any way NOT to be doing it. Maybe you could go to the therapist again and if your DH could see you saying the same things to an outside person, he would be more apt to see that you mean it?

Good luck. I wish I had better answers.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[sidmand]

I understand where you're coming from. DH used to hate his job and now...well...

He just changed jobs recently because the other one was so awful for him. I do think it's a very hard road for them. They want to be the "breadwinner" but they also want to be there for their kids. I think it's very hard to give up the notion of making lots of money, especially when they can.

DH isn't so keen on his new job either. He's also thinking the hours aren't conducive at all to being a parent. I know he feels like he missed months of DS's life so far and doesn't want to miss even more. It's also to the point where DH only wants one child because he doesn't think he could be the father he wants to be and have the job he is currently in.

We're in a good situation where he knows he doesn't have to make a ton of money, but he does need the daily work environment (we learned that when he was laid off and also tried to work for my business). So, I don't have any solutions and I hate that DH isn't happy at what he does. I definitely think life is too short to do something you really hate if there's any way NOT to be doing it. Maybe you could go to the therapist again and if your DH could see you saying the same things to an outside person, he would be more apt to see that you mean it?

Good luck. I wish I had better answers.

Debbie
http://b2.lilypie.com/BI7Tm5.png

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

As someone who spent her whole career in a great paying job but not loving what she did I applaud your husband for recognizing it early and being willing to take a pay cut to make himself happy. However, going into business with relatives can be a HUGE stressor, my husband owns a company with three of his brothers and I guarantee you each wife would tell you they wish their hubby was not in a family-owned business. (your family may be more well-balanced than us, I hope so, good luck to you).


Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

As someone who spent her whole career in a great paying job but not loving what she did I applaud your husband for recognizing it early and being willing to take a pay cut to make himself happy. However, going into business with relatives can be a HUGE stressor, my husband owns a company with three of his brothers and I guarantee you each wife would tell you they wish their hubby was not in a family-owned business. (your family may be more well-balanced than us, I hope so, good luck to you).


Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

As someone who spent her whole career in a great paying job but not loving what she did I applaud your husband for recognizing it early and being willing to take a pay cut to make himself happy. However, going into business with relatives can be a HUGE stressor, my husband owns a company with three of his brothers and I guarantee you each wife would tell you they wish their hubby was not in a family-owned business. (your family may be more well-balanced than us, I hope so, good luck to you).


Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

As someone who spent her whole career in a great paying job but not loving what she did I applaud your husband for recognizing it early and being willing to take a pay cut to make himself happy. However, going into business with relatives can be a HUGE stressor, my husband owns a company with three of his brothers and I guarantee you each wife would tell you they wish their hubby was not in a family-owned business. (your family may be more well-balanced than us, I hope so, good luck to you).


Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

As someone who spent her whole career in a great paying job but not loving what she did I applaud your husband for recognizing it early and being willing to take a pay cut to make himself happy. However, going into business with relatives can be a HUGE stressor, my husband owns a company with three of his brothers and I guarantee you each wife would tell you they wish their hubby was not in a family-owned business. (your family may be more well-balanced than us, I hope so, good luck to you).


Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

As someone who spent her whole career in a great paying job but not loving what she did I applaud your husband for recognizing it early and being willing to take a pay cut to make himself happy. However, going into business with relatives can be a HUGE stressor, my husband owns a company with three of his brothers and I guarantee you each wife would tell you they wish their hubby was not in a family-owned business. (your family may be more well-balanced than us, I hope so, good luck to you).


Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

As someone who spent her whole career in a great paying job but not loving what she did I applaud your husband for recognizing it early and being willing to take a pay cut to make himself happy. However, going into business with relatives can be a HUGE stressor, my husband owns a company with three of his brothers and I guarantee you each wife would tell you they wish their hubby was not in a family-owned business. (your family may be more well-balanced than us, I hope so, good luck to you).


Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

As someone who spent her whole career in a great paying job but not loving what she did I applaud your husband for recognizing it early and being willing to take a pay cut to make himself happy. However, going into business with relatives can be a HUGE stressor, my husband owns a company with three of his brothers and I guarantee you each wife would tell you they wish their hubby was not in a family-owned business. (your family may be more well-balanced than us, I hope so, good luck to you).


Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[ChunkyNicksChunkyMom]

As someone who spent her whole career in a great paying job but not loving what she did I applaud your husband for recognizing it early and being willing to take a pay cut to make himself happy. However, going into business with relatives can be a HUGE stressor, my husband owns a company with three of his brothers and I guarantee you each wife would tell you they wish their hubby was not in a family-owned business. (your family may be more well-balanced than us, I hope so, good luck to you).


Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

[cilantromapuche]

NAK. we just went through this and DH quit his job (I just went back to work last year and love mine). He is finishing up his 2nd masters and is going to be a SAHD for a year (we just had dd).
It was extraordinarily tough and you might want therapy too.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)and a girl (6/06)

[cilantromapuche]

NAK. we just went through this and DH quit his job (I just went back to work last year and love mine). He is finishing up his 2nd masters and is going to be a SAHD for a year (we just had dd).
It was extraordinarily tough and you might want therapy too.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)and a girl (6/06)

[cilantromapuche]

NAK. we just went through this and DH quit his job (I just went back to work last year and love mine). He is finishing up his 2nd masters and is going to be a SAHD for a year (we just had dd).
It was extraordinarily tough and you might want therapy too.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)and a girl (6/06)

[cilantromapuche]

NAK. we just went through this and DH quit his job (I just went back to work last year and love mine). He is finishing up his 2nd masters and is going to be a SAHD for a year (we just had dd).
It was extraordinarily tough and you might want therapy too.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)and a girl (6/06)

[cilantromapuche]

NAK. we just went through this and DH quit his job (I just went back to work last year and love mine). He is finishing up his 2nd masters and is going to be a SAHD for a year (we just had dd).
It was extraordinarily tough and you might want therapy too.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)and a girl (6/06)

[cilantromapuche]

NAK. we just went through this and DH quit his job (I just went back to work last year and love mine). He is finishing up his 2nd masters and is going to be a SAHD for a year (we just had dd).
It was extraordinarily tough and you might want therapy too.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)and a girl (6/06)

[cilantromapuche]

NAK. we just went through this and DH quit his job (I just went back to work last year and love mine). He is finishing up his 2nd masters and is going to be a SAHD for a year (we just had dd).
It was extraordinarily tough and you might want therapy too.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)and a girl (6/06)

[cilantromapuche]

NAK. we just went through this and DH quit his job (I just went back to work last year and love mine). He is finishing up his 2nd masters and is going to be a SAHD for a year (we just had dd).
It was extraordinarily tough and you might want therapy too.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)and a girl (6/06)

[cilantromapuche]

NAK. we just went through this and DH quit his job (I just went back to work last year and love mine). He is finishing up his 2nd masters and is going to be a SAHD for a year (we just had dd).
It was extraordinarily tough and you might want therapy too.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)and a girl (6/06)

[BaileyBea]

I am so sorry you are both going through this. I remember being there about two years ago. DH and I are both in the tech industry and economy wasn't doing so well. DH couldn't just "find" a new job. But he was miserable.

I just remember he came home from work depressed and whinny everyday. After a few weeks I was worn out and stressed out. We finally both sat down together and came up with a plan for him to change jobs. We saved as much money as we could during this time just in case he had to suddenly quit his job. We had three different tiers of what we were going to do.... with the last option being to sell the house and move into an apartment. He was also so depressed he didn't want to have children. This was a deal breaker for me.

After about four months he got another position within the company that is a much better fit for him and while there are still sometimes some bad days, it's much better now. He gets recognition for his hard work and is a valued part of the team.

It took us a while to get there though. I went to go see a therapist a few times because I needed some strategies for getting us through this tough spot. We incorporated exercise into our family routine and this helped with endorphins. And therefore it made those few months bearable. DH still rides his bike to work and between that, walking, running etc.. this made the biggest difference. He not only got some endorphins going on but he got to release some of that stress.

Good luck... I am empathize with your position. Hang in there! Keep working on a plan and try to remain as positive as possible.

[BaileyBea]

I am so sorry you are both going through this. I remember being there about two years ago. DH and I are both in the tech industry and economy wasn't doing so well. DH couldn't just "find" a new job. But he was miserable.

I just remember he came home from work depressed and whinny everyday. After a few weeks I was worn out and stressed out. We finally both sat down together and came up with a plan for him to change jobs. We saved as much money as we could during this time just in case he had to suddenly quit his job. We had three different tiers of what we were going to do.... with the last option being to sell the house and move into an apartment. He was also so depressed he didn't want to have children. This was a deal breaker for me.

After about four months he got another position within the company that is a much better fit for him and while there are still sometimes some bad days, it's much better now. He gets recognition for his hard work and is a valued part of the team.

It took us a while to get there though. I went to go see a therapist a few times because I needed some strategies for getting us through this tough spot. We incorporated exercise into our family routine and this helped with endorphins. And therefore it made those few months bearable. DH still rides his bike to work and between that, walking, running etc.. this made the biggest difference. He not only got some endorphins going on but he got to release some of that stress.

Good luck... I am empathize with your position. Hang in there! Keep working on a plan and try to remain as positive as possible.

[BaileyBea]

I am so sorry you are both going through this. I remember being there about two years ago. DH and I are both in the tech industry and economy wasn't doing so well. DH couldn't just "find" a new job. But he was miserable.

I just remember he came home from work depressed and whinny everyday. After a few weeks I was worn out and stressed out. We finally both sat down together and came up with a plan for him to change jobs. We saved as much money as we could during this time just in case he had to suddenly quit his job. We had three different tiers of what we were going to do.... with the last option being to sell the house and move into an apartment. He was also so depressed he didn't want to have children. This was a deal breaker for me.

After about four months he got another position within the company that is a much better fit for him and while there are still sometimes some bad days, it's much better now. He gets recognition for his hard work and is a valued part of the team.

It took us a while to get there though. I went to go see a therapist a few times because I needed some strategies for getting us through this tough spot. We incorporated exercise into our family routine and this helped with endorphins. And therefore it made those few months bearable. DH still rides his bike to work and between that, walking, running etc.. this made the biggest difference. He not only got some endorphins going on but he got to release some of that stress.

Good luck... I am empathize with your position. Hang in there! Keep working on a plan and try to remain as positive as possible.

[BaileyBea]

I am so sorry you are both going through this. I remember being there about two years ago. DH and I are both in the tech industry and economy wasn't doing so well. DH couldn't just "find" a new job. But he was miserable.

I just remember he came home from work depressed and whinny everyday. After a few weeks I was worn out and stressed out. We finally both sat down together and came up with a plan for him to change jobs. We saved as much money as we could during this time just in case he had to suddenly quit his job. We had three different tiers of what we were going to do.... with the last option being to sell the house and move into an apartment. He was also so depressed he didn't want to have children. This was a deal breaker for me.

After about four months he got another position within the company that is a much better fit for him and while there are still sometimes some bad days, it's much better now. He gets recognition for his hard work and is a valued part of the team.

It took us a while to get there though. I went to go see a therapist a few times because I needed some strategies for getting us through this tough spot. We incorporated exercise into our family routine and this helped with endorphins. And therefore it made those few months bearable. DH still rides his bike to work and between that, walking, running etc.. this made the biggest difference. He not only got some endorphins going on but he got to release some of that stress.

Good luck... I am empathize with your position. Hang in there! Keep working on a plan and try to remain as positive as possible.

[BaileyBea]

I am so sorry you are both going through this. I remember being there about two years ago. DH and I are both in the tech industry and economy wasn't doing so well. DH couldn't just "find" a new job. But he was miserable.

I just remember he came home from work depressed and whinny everyday. After a few weeks I was worn out and stressed out. We finally both sat down together and came up with a plan for him to change jobs. We saved as much money as we could during this time just in case he had to suddenly quit his job. We had three different tiers of what we were going to do.... with the last option being to sell the house and move into an apartment. He was also so depressed he didn't want to have children. This was a deal breaker for me.

After about four months he got another position within the company that is a much better fit for him and while there are still sometimes some bad days, it's much better now. He gets recognition for his hard work and is a valued part of the team.

It took us a while to get there though. I went to go see a therapist a few times because I needed some strategies for getting us through this tough spot. We incorporated exercise into our family routine and this helped with endorphins. And therefore it made those few months bearable. DH still rides his bike to work and between that, walking, running etc.. this made the biggest difference. He not only got some endorphins going on but he got to release some of that stress.

Good luck... I am empathize with your position. Hang in there! Keep working on a plan and try to remain as positive as possible.

[BaileyBea]

I am so sorry you are both going through this. I remember being there about two years ago. DH and I are both in the tech industry and economy wasn't doing so well. DH couldn't just "find" a new job. But he was miserable.

I just remember he came home from work depressed and whinny everyday. After a few weeks I was worn out and stressed out. We finally both sat down together and came up with a plan for him to change jobs. We saved as much money as we could during this time just in case he had to suddenly quit his job. We had three different tiers of what we were going to do.... with the last option being to sell the house and move into an apartment. He was also so depressed he didn't want to have children. This was a deal breaker for me.

After about four months he got another position within the company that is a much better fit for him and while there are still sometimes some bad days, it's much better now. He gets recognition for his hard work and is a valued part of the team.

It took us a while to get there though. I went to go see a therapist a few times because I needed some strategies for getting us through this tough spot. We incorporated exercise into our family routine and this helped with endorphins. And therefore it made those few months bearable. DH still rides his bike to work and between that, walking, running etc.. this made the biggest difference. He not only got some endorphins going on but he got to release some of that stress.

Good luck... I am empathize with your position. Hang in there! Keep working on a plan and try to remain as positive as possible.

[BaileyBea]

I am so sorry you are both going through this. I remember being there about two years ago. DH and I are both in the tech industry and economy wasn't doing so well. DH couldn't just "find" a new job. But he was miserable.

I just remember he came home from work depressed and whinny everyday. After a few weeks I was worn out and stressed out. We finally both sat down together and came up with a plan for him to change jobs. We saved as much money as we could during this time just in case he had to suddenly quit his job. We had three different tiers of what we were going to do.... with the last option being to sell the house and move into an apartment. He was also so depressed he didn't want to have children. This was a deal breaker for me.

After about four months he got another position within the company that is a much better fit for him and while there are still sometimes some bad days, it's much better now. He gets recognition for his hard work and is a valued part of the team.

It took us a while to get there though. I went to go see a therapist a few times because I needed some strategies for getting us through this tough spot. We incorporated exercise into our family routine and this helped with endorphins. And therefore it made those few months bearable. DH still rides his bike to work and between that, walking, running etc.. this made the biggest difference. He not only got some endorphins going on but he got to release some of that stress.

Good luck... I am empathize with your position. Hang in there! Keep working on a plan and try to remain as positive as possible.

[BaileyBea]

I am so sorry you are both going through this. I remember being there about two years ago. DH and I are both in the tech industry and economy wasn't doing so well. DH couldn't just "find" a new job. But he was miserable.

I just remember he came home from work depressed and whinny everyday. After a few weeks I was worn out and stressed out. We finally both sat down together and came up with a plan for him to change jobs. We saved as much money as we could during this time just in case he had to suddenly quit his job. We had three different tiers of what we were going to do.... with the last option being to sell the house and move into an apartment. He was also so depressed he didn't want to have children. This was a deal breaker for me.

After about four months he got another position within the company that is a much better fit for him and while there are still sometimes some bad days, it's much better now. He gets recognition for his hard work and is a valued part of the team.

It took us a while to get there though. I went to go see a therapist a few times because I needed some strategies for getting us through this tough spot. We incorporated exercise into our family routine and this helped with endorphins. And therefore it made those few months bearable. DH still rides his bike to work and between that, walking, running etc.. this made the biggest difference. He not only got some endorphins going on but he got to release some of that stress.

Good luck... I am empathize with your position. Hang in there! Keep working on a plan and try to remain as positive as possible.

[BaileyBea]

I am so sorry you are both going through this. I remember being there about two years ago. DH and I are both in the tech industry and economy wasn't doing so well. DH couldn't just "find" a new job. But he was miserable.

I just remember he came home from work depressed and whinny everyday. After a few weeks I was worn out and stressed out. We finally both sat down together and came up with a plan for him to change jobs. We saved as much money as we could during this time just in case he had to suddenly quit his job. We had three different tiers of what we were going to do.... with the last option being to sell the house and move into an apartment. He was also so depressed he didn't want to have children. This was a deal breaker for me.

After about four months he got another position within the company that is a much better fit for him and while there are still sometimes some bad days, it's much better now. He gets recognition for his hard work and is a valued part of the team.

It took us a while to get there though. I went to go see a therapist a few times because I needed some strategies for getting us through this tough spot. We incorporated exercise into our family routine and this helped with endorphins. And therefore it made those few months bearable. DH still rides his bike to work and between that, walking, running etc.. this made the biggest difference. He not only got some endorphins going on but he got to release some of that stress.

Good luck... I am empathize with your position. Hang in there! Keep working on a plan and try to remain as positive as possible.

[ohiomom]

I think this is much more common then people realize because most families just won't talk about it. My DH was miserable with a capital M in his well-paying job, too. He quit, right after we bought a new, much larger house and I about freaked inside over fear. About 6 months later he picked up a very lucrative consulting job that ended up earning him double what he made previously. That stint lasted nearly 2 yrs. We packed cash into savings, though at the time our finacial planner thought we were nuts because the stock market was soaring. Well, the consulting projects have been few and far between since and we've spent most of the significant cash savings we accumulated. I'm nervous at this point with a baby on the way, because we will soon be in some pretty dire financial straits and in no way can pay the bills on my income, plus double day care costs. I'm trying to not worry too much figuring things usually work out. He's much, much happier having control over his schedule and having the ability to turn down work he doesn't want if a bad situation presents. He has time to exercise, spends lots and lots of time with DD, etc. so I am trying to count those blessings instead of fretting about lack of vacations, $ to remodel or spend frivilously. I know it only takes one good contract to turn the corner. I JUST WISH IT WOULD APPEAR!!

Bottomline, I've decided I have to trust DH. I wouldn't want him telling me what to do with my career and I try to offer that same level of respect I'd want. It's hard to not get frustrated with the ups and downs and even harder to think about tapping into our retirement accounts or having to ultimately sell our house and downsize, since now, several years later, our mortgage is not bad relative to cost of new mortgage on smaller house with higher interest rates. Therapy is not a bad idea to get your own concerns addressed, IMO. The time DH is getting with DD and soon to be DD is truly priceless.Too many hours are spent in the office to hate what it is you do. Just my personal experience.

Lastly, I agree that family businesses are terribly stressful from what I've seen with my own extended family, even leading to estrangement. I'd think twice and then twice again...

[ohiomom]

I think this is much more common then people realize because most families just won't talk about it. My DH was miserable with a capital M in his well-paying job, too. He quit, right after we bought a new, much larger house and I about freaked inside over fear. About 6 months later he picked up a very lucrative consulting job that ended up earning him double what he made previously. That stint lasted nearly 2 yrs. We packed cash into savings, though at the time our finacial planner thought we were nuts because the stock market was soaring. Well, the consulting projects have been few and far between since and we've spent most of the significant cash savings we accumulated. I'm nervous at this point with a baby on the way, because we will soon be in some pretty dire financial straits and in no way can pay the bills on my income, plus double day care costs. I'm trying to not worry too much figuring things usually work out. He's much, much happier having control over his schedule and having the ability to turn down work he doesn't want if a bad situation presents. He has time to exercise, spends lots and lots of time with DD, etc. so I am trying to count those blessings instead of fretting about lack of vacations, $ to remodel or spend frivilously. I know it only takes one good contract to turn the corner. I JUST WISH IT WOULD APPEAR!!

Bottomline, I've decided I have to trust DH. I wouldn't want him telling me what to do with my career and I try to offer that same level of respect I'd want. It's hard to not get frustrated with the ups and downs and even harder to think about tapping into our retirement accounts or having to ultimately sell our house and downsize, since now, several years later, our mortgage is not bad relative to cost of new mortgage on smaller house with higher interest rates. Therapy is not a bad idea to get your own concerns addressed, IMO. The time DH is getting with DD and soon to be DD is truly priceless.Too many hours are spent in the office to hate what it is you do. Just my personal experience.

Lastly, I agree that family businesses are terribly stressful from what I've seen with my own extended family, even leading to estrangement. I'd think twice and then twice again...

[ohiomom]

I think this is much more common then people realize because most families just won't talk about it. My DH was miserable with a capital M in his well-paying job, too. He quit, right after we bought a new, much larger house and I about freaked inside over fear. About 6 months later he picked up a very lucrative consulting job that ended up earning him double what he made previously. That stint lasted nearly 2 yrs. We packed cash into savings, though at the time our finacial planner thought we were nuts because the stock market was soaring. Well, the consulting projects have been few and far between since and we've spent most of the significant cash savings we accumulated. I'm nervous at this point with a baby on the way, because we will soon be in some pretty dire financial straits and in no way can pay the bills on my income, plus double day care costs. I'm trying to not worry too much figuring things usually work out. He's much, much happier having control over his schedule and having the ability to turn down work he doesn't want if a bad situation presents. He has time to exercise, spends lots and lots of time with DD, etc. so I am trying to count those blessings instead of fretting about lack of vacations, $ to remodel or spend frivilously. I know it only takes one good contract to turn the corner. I JUST WISH IT WOULD APPEAR!!

Bottomline, I've decided I have to trust DH. I wouldn't want him telling me what to do with my career and I try to offer that same level of respect I'd want. It's hard to not get frustrated with the ups and downs and even harder to think about tapping into our retirement accounts or having to ultimately sell our house and downsize, since now, several years later, our mortgage is not bad relative to cost of new mortgage on smaller house with higher interest rates. Therapy is not a bad idea to get your own concerns addressed, IMO. The time DH is getting with DD and soon to be DD is truly priceless.Too many hours are spent in the office to hate what it is you do. Just my personal experience.

Lastly, I agree that family businesses are terribly stressful from what I've seen with my own extended family, even leading to estrangement. I'd think twice and then twice again...

[ohiomom]

I think this is much more common then people realize because most families just won't talk about it. My DH was miserable with a capital M in his well-paying job, too. He quit, right after we bought a new, much larger house and I about freaked inside over fear. About 6 months later he picked up a very lucrative consulting job that ended up earning him double what he made previously. That stint lasted nearly 2 yrs. We packed cash into savings, though at the time our finacial planner thought we were nuts because the stock market was soaring. Well, the consulting projects have been few and far between since and we've spent most of the significant cash savings we accumulated. I'm nervous at this point with a baby on the way, because we will soon be in some pretty dire financial straits and in no way can pay the bills on my income, plus double day care costs. I'm trying to not worry too much figuring things usually work out. He's much, much happier having control over his schedule and having the ability to turn down work he doesn't want if a bad situation presents. He has time to exercise, spends lots and lots of time with DD, etc. so I am trying to count those blessings instead of fretting about lack of vacations, $ to remodel or spend frivilously. I know it only takes one good contract to turn the corner. I JUST WISH IT WOULD APPEAR!!

Bottomline, I've decided I have to trust DH. I wouldn't want him telling me what to do with my career and I try to offer that same level of respect I'd want. It's hard to not get frustrated with the ups and downs and even harder to think about tapping into our retirement accounts or having to ultimately sell our house and downsize, since now, several years later, our mortgage is not bad relative to cost of new mortgage on smaller house with higher interest rates. Therapy is not a bad idea to get your own concerns addressed, IMO. The time DH is getting with DD and soon to be DD is truly priceless.Too many hours are spent in the office to hate what it is you do. Just my personal experience.

Lastly, I agree that family businesses are terribly stressful from what I've seen with my own extended family, even leading to estrangement. I'd think twice and then twice again...

[ohiomom]

I think this is much more common then people realize because most families just won't talk about it. My DH was miserable with a capital M in his well-paying job, too. He quit, right after we bought a new, much larger house and I about freaked inside over fear. About 6 months later he picked up a very lucrative consulting job that ended up earning him double what he made previously. That stint lasted nearly 2 yrs. We packed cash into savings, though at the time our finacial planner thought we were nuts because the stock market was soaring. Well, the consulting projects have been few and far between since and we've spent most of the significant cash savings we accumulated. I'm nervous at this point with a baby on the way, because we will soon be in some pretty dire financial straits and in no way can pay the bills on my income, plus double day care costs. I'm trying to not worry too much figuring things usually work out. He's much, much happier having control over his schedule and having the ability to turn down work he doesn't want if a bad situation presents. He has time to exercise, spends lots and lots of time with DD, etc. so I am trying to count those blessings instead of fretting about lack of vacations, $ to remodel or spend frivilously. I know it only takes one good contract to turn the corner. I JUST WISH IT WOULD APPEAR!!

Bottomline, I've decided I have to trust DH. I wouldn't want him telling me what to do with my career and I try to offer that same level of respect I'd want. It's hard to not get frustrated with the ups and downs and even harder to think about tapping into our retirement accounts or having to ultimately sell our house and downsize, since now, several years later, our mortgage is not bad relative to cost of new mortgage on smaller house with higher interest rates. Therapy is not a bad idea to get your own concerns addressed, IMO. The time DH is getting with DD and soon to be DD is truly priceless.Too many hours are spent in the office to hate what it is you do. Just my personal experience.

Lastly, I agree that family businesses are terribly stressful from what I've seen with my own extended family, even leading to estrangement. I'd think twice and then twice again...

[ohiomom]

I think this is much more common then people realize because most families just won't talk about it. My DH was miserable with a capital M in his well-paying job, too. He quit, right after we bought a new, much larger house and I about freaked inside over fear. About 6 months later he picked up a very lucrative consulting job that ended up earning him double what he made previously. That stint lasted nearly 2 yrs. We packed cash into savings, though at the time our finacial planner thought we were nuts because the stock market was soaring. Well, the consulting projects have been few and far between since and we've spent most of the significant cash savings we accumulated. I'm nervous at this point with a baby on the way, because we will soon be in some pretty dire financial straits and in no way can pay the bills on my income, plus double day care costs. I'm trying to not worry too much figuring things usually work out. He's much, much happier having control over his schedule and having the ability to turn down work he doesn't want if a bad situation presents. He has time to exercise, spends lots and lots of time with DD, etc. so I am trying to count those blessings instead of fretting about lack of vacations, $ to remodel or spend frivilously. I know it only takes one good contract to turn the corner. I JUST WISH IT WOULD APPEAR!!

Bottomline, I've decided I have to trust DH. I wouldn't want him telling me what to do with my career and I try to offer that same level of respect I'd want. It's hard to not get frustrated with the ups and downs and even harder to think about tapping into our retirement accounts or having to ultimately sell our house and downsize, since now, several years later, our mortgage is not bad relative to cost of new mortgage on smaller house with higher interest rates. Therapy is not a bad idea to get your own concerns addressed, IMO. The time DH is getting with DD and soon to be DD is truly priceless.Too many hours are spent in the office to hate what it is you do. Just my personal experience.

Lastly, I agree that family businesses are terribly stressful from what I've seen with my own extended family, even leading to estrangement. I'd think twice and then twice again...

[ohiomom]

I think this is much more common then people realize because most families just won't talk about it. My DH was miserable with a capital M in his well-paying job, too. He quit, right after we bought a new, much larger house and I about freaked inside over fear. About 6 months later he picked up a very lucrative consulting job that ended up earning him double what he made previously. That stint lasted nearly 2 yrs. We packed cash into savings, though at the time our finacial planner thought we were nuts because the stock market was soaring. Well, the consulting projects have been few and far between since and we've spent most of the significant cash savings we accumulated. I'm nervous at this point with a baby on the way, because we will soon be in some pretty dire financial straits and in no way can pay the bills on my income, plus double day care costs. I'm trying to not worry too much figuring things usually work out. He's much, much happier having control over his schedule and having the ability to turn down work he doesn't want if a bad situation presents. He has time to exercise, spends lots and lots of time with DD, etc. so I am trying to count those blessings instead of fretting about lack of vacations, $ to remodel or spend frivilously. I know it only takes one good contract to turn the corner. I JUST WISH IT WOULD APPEAR!!

Bottomline, I've decided I have to trust DH. I wouldn't want him telling me what to do with my career and I try to offer that same level of respect I'd want. It's hard to not get frustrated with the ups and downs and even harder to think about tapping into our retirement accounts or having to ultimately sell our house and downsize, since now, several years later, our mortgage is not bad relative to cost of new mortgage on smaller house with higher interest rates. Therapy is not a bad idea to get your own concerns addressed, IMO. The time DH is getting with DD and soon to be DD is truly priceless.Too many hours are spent in the office to hate what it is you do. Just my personal experience.

Lastly, I agree that family businesses are terribly stressful from what I've seen with my own extended family, even leading to estrangement. I'd think twice and then twice again...

[ohiomom]

I think this is much more common then people realize because most families just won't talk about it. My DH was miserable with a capital M in his well-paying job, too. He quit, right after we bought a new, much larger house and I about freaked inside over fear. About 6 months later he picked up a very lucrative consulting job that ended up earning him double what he made previously. That stint lasted nearly 2 yrs. We packed cash into savings, though at the time our finacial planner thought we were nuts because the stock market was soaring. Well, the consulting projects have been few and far between since and we've spent most of the significant cash savings we accumulated. I'm nervous at this point with a baby on the way, because we will soon be in some pretty dire financial straits and in no way can pay the bills on my income, plus double day care costs. I'm trying to not worry too much figuring things usually work out. He's much, much happier having control over his schedule and having the ability to turn down work he doesn't want if a bad situation presents. He has time to exercise, spends lots and lots of time with DD, etc. so I am trying to count those blessings instead of fretting about lack of vacations, $ to remodel or spend frivilously. I know it only takes one good contract to turn the corner. I JUST WISH IT WOULD APPEAR!!

Bottomline, I've decided I have to trust DH. I wouldn't want him telling me what to do with my career and I try to offer that same level of respect I'd want. It's hard to not get frustrated with the ups and downs and even harder to think about tapping into our retirement accounts or having to ultimately sell our house and downsize, since now, several years later, our mortgage is not bad relative to cost of new mortgage on smaller house with higher interest rates. Therapy is not a bad idea to get your own concerns addressed, IMO. The time DH is getting with DD and soon to be DD is truly priceless.Too many hours are spent in the office to hate what it is you do. Just my personal experience.

Lastly, I agree that family businesses are terribly stressful from what I've seen with my own extended family, even leading to estrangement. I'd think twice and then twice again...

[ohiomom]

I think this is much more common then people realize because most families just won't talk about it. My DH was miserable with a capital M in his well-paying job, too. He quit, right after we bought a new, much larger house and I about freaked inside over fear. About 6 months later he picked up a very lucrative consulting job that ended up earning him double what he made previously. That stint lasted nearly 2 yrs. We packed cash into savings, though at the time our finacial planner thought we were nuts because the stock market was soaring. Well, the consulting projects have been few and far between since and we've spent most of the significant cash savings we accumulated. I'm nervous at this point with a baby on the way, because we will soon be in some pretty dire financial straits and in no way can pay the bills on my income, plus double day care costs. I'm trying to not worry too much figuring things usually work out. He's much, much happier having control over his schedule and having the ability to turn down work he doesn't want if a bad situation presents. He has time to exercise, spends lots and lots of time with DD, etc. so I am trying to count those blessings instead of fretting about lack of vacations, $ to remodel or spend frivilously. I know it only takes one good contract to turn the corner. I JUST WISH IT WOULD APPEAR!!

Bottomline, I've decided I have to trust DH. I wouldn't want him telling me what to do with my career and I try to offer that same level of respect I'd want. It's hard to not get frustrated with the ups and downs and even harder to think about tapping into our retirement accounts or having to ultimately sell our house and downsize, since now, several years later, our mortgage is not bad relative to cost of new mortgage on smaller house with higher interest rates. Therapy is not a bad idea to get your own concerns addressed, IMO. The time DH is getting with DD and soon to be DD is truly priceless.Too many hours are spent in the office to hate what it is you do. Just my personal experience.

Lastly, I agree that family businesses are terribly stressful from what I've seen with my own extended family, even leading to estrangement. I'd think twice and then twice again...

[tiapam]

My DH does not really like his profession, but he does mostly like the job he has right now. I have prodded him about it, but he does not want to change anything right now. However, he seems to be doing ok, and is able to keep pretty reasonable hours. If either of those things were to change, I would be more vocal.

If your DH starts the family business, it should be because he really wants to and not just because he does not like his current job.

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

My DH does not really like his profession, but he does mostly like the job he has right now. I have prodded him about it, but he does not want to change anything right now. However, he seems to be doing ok, and is able to keep pretty reasonable hours. If either of those things were to change, I would be more vocal.

If your DH starts the family business, it should be because he really wants to and not just because he does not like his current job.

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

My DH does not really like his profession, but he does mostly like the job he has right now. I have prodded him about it, but he does not want to change anything right now. However, he seems to be doing ok, and is able to keep pretty reasonable hours. If either of those things were to change, I would be more vocal.

If your DH starts the family business, it should be because he really wants to and not just because he does not like his current job.

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

My DH does not really like his profession, but he does mostly like the job he has right now. I have prodded him about it, but he does not want to change anything right now. However, he seems to be doing ok, and is able to keep pretty reasonable hours. If either of those things were to change, I would be more vocal.

If your DH starts the family business, it should be because he really wants to and not just because he does not like his current job.

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

My DH does not really like his profession, but he does mostly like the job he has right now. I have prodded him about it, but he does not want to change anything right now. However, he seems to be doing ok, and is able to keep pretty reasonable hours. If either of those things were to change, I would be more vocal.

If your DH starts the family business, it should be because he really wants to and not just because he does not like his current job.

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

My DH does not really like his profession, but he does mostly like the job he has right now. I have prodded him about it, but he does not want to change anything right now. However, he seems to be doing ok, and is able to keep pretty reasonable hours. If either of those things were to change, I would be more vocal.

If your DH starts the family business, it should be because he really wants to and not just because he does not like his current job.

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

My DH does not really like his profession, but he does mostly like the job he has right now. I have prodded him about it, but he does not want to change anything right now. However, he seems to be doing ok, and is able to keep pretty reasonable hours. If either of those things were to change, I would be more vocal.

If your DH starts the family business, it should be because he really wants to and not just because he does not like his current job.

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

My DH does not really like his profession, but he does mostly like the job he has right now. I have prodded him about it, but he does not want to change anything right now. However, he seems to be doing ok, and is able to keep pretty reasonable hours. If either of those things were to change, I would be more vocal.

If your DH starts the family business, it should be because he really wants to and not just because he does not like his current job.

-Pam

DD - One year old!

[tiapam]

My DH does not really like his profession, but he does mostly like the job he has right now. I have prodded him about it, but he does not want to change anything right now. However, he seems to be doing ok, and is able to keep pretty reasonable hours. If either of those things were to change, I would be more vocal.

If your DH starts the family business, it should be because he really wants to and not just because he does not like his current job.

-Pam

DD - One year old!