WWYD...bully at playgroup

[megs4413]

The oldest kid in our playgroup (which is really just a mommy group since our DC are all so young!) just turned 2 and is a bully to all the other children. At group last week (which was at my house) she accosted DD several times. First, 2yo was sitting on the couch and DD went up to play with her..DD (almost 15 mos) was on the floor with her face at the edge of the couch looking up at 2yo trying to play. 2yo decides she doesn't want DD bothering her and promptly KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!!! I was LIVID!!! I pulled DD away and moved on (while 2yo mother said nothing...), but then I took DD into the kitchen and 2yo followed asking for a cookie or something...I turned to fill DD's cup and when I came to give it to her 2yo was pushing DD to the ground! My DD went "splat" on our HARD tile floor! I LOST IT! It was completely unprovoked and 2yo just ATTACKED DD!!!!!!!! I said, "No, J_____! You do not HIT!" and pulled DD away. 2yo's mother came rushing into the kitchen, grabbed up her child, packed up her things, and LEFT! She was apparently very angry at me for yelling at her daughter.....but this wasn't an isolated incident with her child! We went to play at their house once and DD came home LITERALLY with bruises and scratches ALL OVER! at one point 2yo threw my DD down a step onto her head! FOR NO REASON. I thought it was understandable when she pushed another kid down when they were going for the same toy...but to just walk up to a kid who is minding their own business, grab them by the throat (scratching their neck and drawing BLOOD in the process), and throw them down is just RIDICULOUS to me (she actually did this to DD). I don't know what to do. I know some of the other moms are concerned, but how do we approach this mother without making her feel attacked? Why would a child do stuff like this? I just don't get it! I am actually considering leaving the group...but I really don't want to....what should I do????

[megs4413]

The oldest kid in our playgroup (which is really just a mommy group since our DC are all so young!) just turned 2 and is a bully to all the other children. At group last week (which was at my house) she accosted DD several times. First, 2yo was sitting on the couch and DD went up to play with her..DD (almost 15 mos) was on the floor with her face at the edge of the couch looking up at 2yo trying to play. 2yo decides she doesn't want DD bothering her and promptly KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!!! I was LIVID!!! I pulled DD away and moved on (while 2yo mother said nothing...), but then I took DD into the kitchen and 2yo followed asking for a cookie or something...I turned to fill DD's cup and when I came to give it to her 2yo was pushing DD to the ground! My DD went "splat" on our HARD tile floor! I LOST IT! It was completely unprovoked and 2yo just ATTACKED DD!!!!!!!! I said, "No, J_____! You do not HIT!" and pulled DD away. 2yo's mother came rushing into the kitchen, grabbed up her child, packed up her things, and LEFT! She was apparently very angry at me for yelling at her daughter.....but this wasn't an isolated incident with her child! We went to play at their house once and DD came home LITERALLY with bruises and scratches ALL OVER! at one point 2yo threw my DD down a step onto her head! FOR NO REASON. I thought it was understandable when she pushed another kid down when they were going for the same toy...but to just walk up to a kid who is minding their own business, grab them by the throat (scratching their neck and drawing BLOOD in the process), and throw them down is just RIDICULOUS to me (she actually did this to DD). I don't know what to do. I know some of the other moms are concerned, but how do we approach this mother without making her feel attacked? Why would a child do stuff like this? I just don't get it! I am actually considering leaving the group...but I really don't want to....what should I do????

[megs4413]

The oldest kid in our playgroup (which is really just a mommy group since our DC are all so young!) just turned 2 and is a bully to all the other children. At group last week (which was at my house) she accosted DD several times. First, 2yo was sitting on the couch and DD went up to play with her..DD (almost 15 mos) was on the floor with her face at the edge of the couch looking up at 2yo trying to play. 2yo decides she doesn't want DD bothering her and promptly KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!!! I was LIVID!!! I pulled DD away and moved on (while 2yo mother said nothing...), but then I took DD into the kitchen and 2yo followed asking for a cookie or something...I turned to fill DD's cup and when I came to give it to her 2yo was pushing DD to the ground! My DD went "splat" on our HARD tile floor! I LOST IT! It was completely unprovoked and 2yo just ATTACKED DD!!!!!!!! I said, "No, J_____! You do not HIT!" and pulled DD away. 2yo's mother came rushing into the kitchen, grabbed up her child, packed up her things, and LEFT! She was apparently very angry at me for yelling at her daughter.....but this wasn't an isolated incident with her child! We went to play at their house once and DD came home LITERALLY with bruises and scratches ALL OVER! at one point 2yo threw my DD down a step onto her head! FOR NO REASON. I thought it was understandable when she pushed another kid down when they were going for the same toy...but to just walk up to a kid who is minding their own business, grab them by the throat (scratching their neck and drawing BLOOD in the process), and throw them down is just RIDICULOUS to me (she actually did this to DD). I don't know what to do. I know some of the other moms are concerned, but how do we approach this mother without making her feel attacked? Why would a child do stuff like this? I just don't get it! I am actually considering leaving the group...but I really don't want to....what should I do????

[megs4413]

The oldest kid in our playgroup (which is really just a mommy group since our DC are all so young!) just turned 2 and is a bully to all the other children. At group last week (which was at my house) she accosted DD several times. First, 2yo was sitting on the couch and DD went up to play with her..DD (almost 15 mos) was on the floor with her face at the edge of the couch looking up at 2yo trying to play. 2yo decides she doesn't want DD bothering her and promptly KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!!! I was LIVID!!! I pulled DD away and moved on (while 2yo mother said nothing...), but then I took DD into the kitchen and 2yo followed asking for a cookie or something...I turned to fill DD's cup and when I came to give it to her 2yo was pushing DD to the ground! My DD went "splat" on our HARD tile floor! I LOST IT! It was completely unprovoked and 2yo just ATTACKED DD!!!!!!!! I said, "No, J_____! You do not HIT!" and pulled DD away. 2yo's mother came rushing into the kitchen, grabbed up her child, packed up her things, and LEFT! She was apparently very angry at me for yelling at her daughter.....but this wasn't an isolated incident with her child! We went to play at their house once and DD came home LITERALLY with bruises and scratches ALL OVER! at one point 2yo threw my DD down a step onto her head! FOR NO REASON. I thought it was understandable when she pushed another kid down when they were going for the same toy...but to just walk up to a kid who is minding their own business, grab them by the throat (scratching their neck and drawing BLOOD in the process), and throw them down is just RIDICULOUS to me (she actually did this to DD). I don't know what to do. I know some of the other moms are concerned, but how do we approach this mother without making her feel attacked? Why would a child do stuff like this? I just don't get it! I am actually considering leaving the group...but I really don't want to....what should I do????

[megs4413]

The oldest kid in our playgroup (which is really just a mommy group since our DC are all so young!) just turned 2 and is a bully to all the other children. At group last week (which was at my house) she accosted DD several times. First, 2yo was sitting on the couch and DD went up to play with her..DD (almost 15 mos) was on the floor with her face at the edge of the couch looking up at 2yo trying to play. 2yo decides she doesn't want DD bothering her and promptly KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!!! I was LIVID!!! I pulled DD away and moved on (while 2yo mother said nothing...), but then I took DD into the kitchen and 2yo followed asking for a cookie or something...I turned to fill DD's cup and when I came to give it to her 2yo was pushing DD to the ground! My DD went "splat" on our HARD tile floor! I LOST IT! It was completely unprovoked and 2yo just ATTACKED DD!!!!!!!! I said, "No, J_____! You do not HIT!" and pulled DD away. 2yo's mother came rushing into the kitchen, grabbed up her child, packed up her things, and LEFT! She was apparently very angry at me for yelling at her daughter.....but this wasn't an isolated incident with her child! We went to play at their house once and DD came home LITERALLY with bruises and scratches ALL OVER! at one point 2yo threw my DD down a step onto her head! FOR NO REASON. I thought it was understandable when she pushed another kid down when they were going for the same toy...but to just walk up to a kid who is minding their own business, grab them by the throat (scratching their neck and drawing BLOOD in the process), and throw them down is just RIDICULOUS to me (she actually did this to DD). I don't know what to do. I know some of the other moms are concerned, but how do we approach this mother without making her feel attacked? Why would a child do stuff like this? I just don't get it! I am actually considering leaving the group...but I really don't want to....what should I do????

[megs4413]

The oldest kid in our playgroup (which is really just a mommy group since our DC are all so young!) just turned 2 and is a bully to all the other children. At group last week (which was at my house) she accosted DD several times. First, 2yo was sitting on the couch and DD went up to play with her..DD (almost 15 mos) was on the floor with her face at the edge of the couch looking up at 2yo trying to play. 2yo decides she doesn't want DD bothering her and promptly KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!!! I was LIVID!!! I pulled DD away and moved on (while 2yo mother said nothing...), but then I took DD into the kitchen and 2yo followed asking for a cookie or something...I turned to fill DD's cup and when I came to give it to her 2yo was pushing DD to the ground! My DD went "splat" on our HARD tile floor! I LOST IT! It was completely unprovoked and 2yo just ATTACKED DD!!!!!!!! I said, "No, J_____! You do not HIT!" and pulled DD away. 2yo's mother came rushing into the kitchen, grabbed up her child, packed up her things, and LEFT! She was apparently very angry at me for yelling at her daughter.....but this wasn't an isolated incident with her child! We went to play at their house once and DD came home LITERALLY with bruises and scratches ALL OVER! at one point 2yo threw my DD down a step onto her head! FOR NO REASON. I thought it was understandable when she pushed another kid down when they were going for the same toy...but to just walk up to a kid who is minding their own business, grab them by the throat (scratching their neck and drawing BLOOD in the process), and throw them down is just RIDICULOUS to me (she actually did this to DD). I don't know what to do. I know some of the other moms are concerned, but how do we approach this mother without making her feel attacked? Why would a child do stuff like this? I just don't get it! I am actually considering leaving the group...but I really don't want to....what should I do????

[megs4413]

The oldest kid in our playgroup (which is really just a mommy group since our DC are all so young!) just turned 2 and is a bully to all the other children. At group last week (which was at my house) she accosted DD several times. First, 2yo was sitting on the couch and DD went up to play with her..DD (almost 15 mos) was on the floor with her face at the edge of the couch looking up at 2yo trying to play. 2yo decides she doesn't want DD bothering her and promptly KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!!! I was LIVID!!! I pulled DD away and moved on (while 2yo mother said nothing...), but then I took DD into the kitchen and 2yo followed asking for a cookie or something...I turned to fill DD's cup and when I came to give it to her 2yo was pushing DD to the ground! My DD went "splat" on our HARD tile floor! I LOST IT! It was completely unprovoked and 2yo just ATTACKED DD!!!!!!!! I said, "No, J_____! You do not HIT!" and pulled DD away. 2yo's mother came rushing into the kitchen, grabbed up her child, packed up her things, and LEFT! She was apparently very angry at me for yelling at her daughter.....but this wasn't an isolated incident with her child! We went to play at their house once and DD came home LITERALLY with bruises and scratches ALL OVER! at one point 2yo threw my DD down a step onto her head! FOR NO REASON. I thought it was understandable when she pushed another kid down when they were going for the same toy...but to just walk up to a kid who is minding their own business, grab them by the throat (scratching their neck and drawing BLOOD in the process), and throw them down is just RIDICULOUS to me (she actually did this to DD). I don't know what to do. I know some of the other moms are concerned, but how do we approach this mother without making her feel attacked? Why would a child do stuff like this? I just don't get it! I am actually considering leaving the group...but I really don't want to....what should I do????

[megs4413]

The oldest kid in our playgroup (which is really just a mommy group since our DC are all so young!) just turned 2 and is a bully to all the other children. At group last week (which was at my house) she accosted DD several times. First, 2yo was sitting on the couch and DD went up to play with her..DD (almost 15 mos) was on the floor with her face at the edge of the couch looking up at 2yo trying to play. 2yo decides she doesn't want DD bothering her and promptly KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!!! I was LIVID!!! I pulled DD away and moved on (while 2yo mother said nothing...), but then I took DD into the kitchen and 2yo followed asking for a cookie or something...I turned to fill DD's cup and when I came to give it to her 2yo was pushing DD to the ground! My DD went "splat" on our HARD tile floor! I LOST IT! It was completely unprovoked and 2yo just ATTACKED DD!!!!!!!! I said, "No, J_____! You do not HIT!" and pulled DD away. 2yo's mother came rushing into the kitchen, grabbed up her child, packed up her things, and LEFT! She was apparently very angry at me for yelling at her daughter.....but this wasn't an isolated incident with her child! We went to play at their house once and DD came home LITERALLY with bruises and scratches ALL OVER! at one point 2yo threw my DD down a step onto her head! FOR NO REASON. I thought it was understandable when she pushed another kid down when they were going for the same toy...but to just walk up to a kid who is minding their own business, grab them by the throat (scratching their neck and drawing BLOOD in the process), and throw them down is just RIDICULOUS to me (she actually did this to DD). I don't know what to do. I know some of the other moms are concerned, but how do we approach this mother without making her feel attacked? Why would a child do stuff like this? I just don't get it! I am actually considering leaving the group...but I really don't want to....what should I do????

[megs4413]

The oldest kid in our playgroup (which is really just a mommy group since our DC are all so young!) just turned 2 and is a bully to all the other children. At group last week (which was at my house) she accosted DD several times. First, 2yo was sitting on the couch and DD went up to play with her..DD (almost 15 mos) was on the floor with her face at the edge of the couch looking up at 2yo trying to play. 2yo decides she doesn't want DD bothering her and promptly KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!!! I was LIVID!!! I pulled DD away and moved on (while 2yo mother said nothing...), but then I took DD into the kitchen and 2yo followed asking for a cookie or something...I turned to fill DD's cup and when I came to give it to her 2yo was pushing DD to the ground! My DD went "splat" on our HARD tile floor! I LOST IT! It was completely unprovoked and 2yo just ATTACKED DD!!!!!!!! I said, "No, J_____! You do not HIT!" and pulled DD away. 2yo's mother came rushing into the kitchen, grabbed up her child, packed up her things, and LEFT! She was apparently very angry at me for yelling at her daughter.....but this wasn't an isolated incident with her child! We went to play at their house once and DD came home LITERALLY with bruises and scratches ALL OVER! at one point 2yo threw my DD down a step onto her head! FOR NO REASON. I thought it was understandable when she pushed another kid down when they were going for the same toy...but to just walk up to a kid who is minding their own business, grab them by the throat (scratching their neck and drawing BLOOD in the process), and throw them down is just RIDICULOUS to me (she actually did this to DD). I don't know what to do. I know some of the other moms are concerned, but how do we approach this mother without making her feel attacked? Why would a child do stuff like this? I just don't get it! I am actually considering leaving the group...but I really don't want to....what should I do????

[purpleeyes]

Our playgroup had a similar problem recently-hitting, pushing, screaming, etc.. Before it ran its course, each mom dealt with it differently and we never handled it as a 'group', which I think worked out b/c I didn't want to gang up on the mom because she is our friend. As a group, we had been friends and seeing each other multiple times a week since our children had been born! We didn't want to end the friendship or 'kick' her out of the group, but we had to help our children, of course.

A few of the moms decided not to attend playgroup at her house when she hosted, and they just rspv'd no politely. That was how they handled it. That actually made things better, since it was less children at her house, which helped. I still attended, and she made good decisions about removing toys the kids would fight over, etc. Whenever she approached us for suggestions, we openly discussed it with her. I felt better seeing her take steps to fix the situation. She really focused on using signs (this was before our guys could talk) and helping him communicate with his signs instead of physically hitting or pushing. She also got serious about consequences and really watched him for his tired/hungry signs. We considered discussing 'discipline' as a group to decide how to handle stealing toys, pushing, etc. so that everyone was on the same page. For example, if DS stole his friends toy and upset him, I wouldn't have a problem with my friend taking the toy from him and telling him no. If someone didn't like that, we wanted to work out a way that they were comfortable with. We never wound up doing that, b/c the things she did with her son worked.

Also, as a group, we decided to do more things outside for our playgroups (it helped that it was spring/summer)-parks, picnics, petting zoos, farmer's markets, etc. That way we weren't cooped up inside fighting for toys.

I also posted about this when it came to a head! I'll search for the thread and come back to link it if I find it ;)

ETA: added link:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=308128&mode=full

HTH!

Beth

[purpleeyes]

Our playgroup had a similar problem recently-hitting, pushing, screaming, etc.. Before it ran its course, each mom dealt with it differently and we never handled it as a 'group', which I think worked out b/c I didn't want to gang up on the mom because she is our friend. As a group, we had been friends and seeing each other multiple times a week since our children had been born! We didn't want to end the friendship or 'kick' her out of the group, but we had to help our children, of course.

A few of the moms decided not to attend playgroup at her house when she hosted, and they just rspv'd no politely. That was how they handled it. That actually made things better, since it was less children at her house, which helped. I still attended, and she made good decisions about removing toys the kids would fight over, etc. Whenever she approached us for suggestions, we openly discussed it with her. I felt better seeing her take steps to fix the situation. She really focused on using signs (this was before our guys could talk) and helping him communicate with his signs instead of physically hitting or pushing. She also got serious about consequences and really watched him for his tired/hungry signs. We considered discussing 'discipline' as a group to decide how to handle stealing toys, pushing, etc. so that everyone was on the same page. For example, if DS stole his friends toy and upset him, I wouldn't have a problem with my friend taking the toy from him and telling him no. If someone didn't like that, we wanted to work out a way that they were comfortable with. We never wound up doing that, b/c the things she did with her son worked.

Also, as a group, we decided to do more things outside for our playgroups (it helped that it was spring/summer)-parks, picnics, petting zoos, farmer's markets, etc. That way we weren't cooped up inside fighting for toys.

I also posted about this when it came to a head! I'll search for the thread and come back to link it if I find it ;)

ETA: added link:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=308128&mode=full

HTH!

Beth

[purpleeyes]

Our playgroup had a similar problem recently-hitting, pushing, screaming, etc.. Before it ran its course, each mom dealt with it differently and we never handled it as a 'group', which I think worked out b/c I didn't want to gang up on the mom because she is our friend. As a group, we had been friends and seeing each other multiple times a week since our children had been born! We didn't want to end the friendship or 'kick' her out of the group, but we had to help our children, of course.

A few of the moms decided not to attend playgroup at her house when she hosted, and they just rspv'd no politely. That was how they handled it. That actually made things better, since it was less children at her house, which helped. I still attended, and she made good decisions about removing toys the kids would fight over, etc. Whenever she approached us for suggestions, we openly discussed it with her. I felt better seeing her take steps to fix the situation. She really focused on using signs (this was before our guys could talk) and helping him communicate with his signs instead of physically hitting or pushing. She also got serious about consequences and really watched him for his tired/hungry signs. We considered discussing 'discipline' as a group to decide how to handle stealing toys, pushing, etc. so that everyone was on the same page. For example, if DS stole his friends toy and upset him, I wouldn't have a problem with my friend taking the toy from him and telling him no. If someone didn't like that, we wanted to work out a way that they were comfortable with. We never wound up doing that, b/c the things she did with her son worked.

Also, as a group, we decided to do more things outside for our playgroups (it helped that it was spring/summer)-parks, picnics, petting zoos, farmer's markets, etc. That way we weren't cooped up inside fighting for toys.

I also posted about this when it came to a head! I'll search for the thread and come back to link it if I find it ;)

ETA: added link:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=308128&mode=full

HTH!

Beth

[purpleeyes]

Our playgroup had a similar problem recently-hitting, pushing, screaming, etc.. Before it ran its course, each mom dealt with it differently and we never handled it as a 'group', which I think worked out b/c I didn't want to gang up on the mom because she is our friend. As a group, we had been friends and seeing each other multiple times a week since our children had been born! We didn't want to end the friendship or 'kick' her out of the group, but we had to help our children, of course.

A few of the moms decided not to attend playgroup at her house when she hosted, and they just rspv'd no politely. That was how they handled it. That actually made things better, since it was less children at her house, which helped. I still attended, and she made good decisions about removing toys the kids would fight over, etc. Whenever she approached us for suggestions, we openly discussed it with her. I felt better seeing her take steps to fix the situation. She really focused on using signs (this was before our guys could talk) and helping him communicate with his signs instead of physically hitting or pushing. She also got serious about consequences and really watched him for his tired/hungry signs. We considered discussing 'discipline' as a group to decide how to handle stealing toys, pushing, etc. so that everyone was on the same page. For example, if DS stole his friends toy and upset him, I wouldn't have a problem with my friend taking the toy from him and telling him no. If someone didn't like that, we wanted to work out a way that they were comfortable with. We never wound up doing that, b/c the things she did with her son worked.

Also, as a group, we decided to do more things outside for our playgroups (it helped that it was spring/summer)-parks, picnics, petting zoos, farmer's markets, etc. That way we weren't cooped up inside fighting for toys.

I also posted about this when it came to a head! I'll search for the thread and come back to link it if I find it ;)

ETA: added link:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=308128&mode=full

HTH!

Beth

[purpleeyes]

Our playgroup had a similar problem recently-hitting, pushing, screaming, etc.. Before it ran its course, each mom dealt with it differently and we never handled it as a 'group', which I think worked out b/c I didn't want to gang up on the mom because she is our friend. As a group, we had been friends and seeing each other multiple times a week since our children had been born! We didn't want to end the friendship or 'kick' her out of the group, but we had to help our children, of course.

A few of the moms decided not to attend playgroup at her house when she hosted, and they just rspv'd no politely. That was how they handled it. That actually made things better, since it was less children at her house, which helped. I still attended, and she made good decisions about removing toys the kids would fight over, etc. Whenever she approached us for suggestions, we openly discussed it with her. I felt better seeing her take steps to fix the situation. She really focused on using signs (this was before our guys could talk) and helping him communicate with his signs instead of physically hitting or pushing. She also got serious about consequences and really watched him for his tired/hungry signs. We considered discussing 'discipline' as a group to decide how to handle stealing toys, pushing, etc. so that everyone was on the same page. For example, if DS stole his friends toy and upset him, I wouldn't have a problem with my friend taking the toy from him and telling him no. If someone didn't like that, we wanted to work out a way that they were comfortable with. We never wound up doing that, b/c the things she did with her son worked.

Also, as a group, we decided to do more things outside for our playgroups (it helped that it was spring/summer)-parks, picnics, petting zoos, farmer's markets, etc. That way we weren't cooped up inside fighting for toys.

I also posted about this when it came to a head! I'll search for the thread and come back to link it if I find it ;)

ETA: added link:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=308128&mode=full

HTH!

Beth

[purpleeyes]

Our playgroup had a similar problem recently-hitting, pushing, screaming, etc.. Before it ran its course, each mom dealt with it differently and we never handled it as a 'group', which I think worked out b/c I didn't want to gang up on the mom because she is our friend. As a group, we had been friends and seeing each other multiple times a week since our children had been born! We didn't want to end the friendship or 'kick' her out of the group, but we had to help our children, of course.

A few of the moms decided not to attend playgroup at her house when she hosted, and they just rspv'd no politely. That was how they handled it. That actually made things better, since it was less children at her house, which helped. I still attended, and she made good decisions about removing toys the kids would fight over, etc. Whenever she approached us for suggestions, we openly discussed it with her. I felt better seeing her take steps to fix the situation. She really focused on using signs (this was before our guys could talk) and helping him communicate with his signs instead of physically hitting or pushing. She also got serious about consequences and really watched him for his tired/hungry signs. We considered discussing 'discipline' as a group to decide how to handle stealing toys, pushing, etc. so that everyone was on the same page. For example, if DS stole his friends toy and upset him, I wouldn't have a problem with my friend taking the toy from him and telling him no. If someone didn't like that, we wanted to work out a way that they were comfortable with. We never wound up doing that, b/c the things she did with her son worked.

Also, as a group, we decided to do more things outside for our playgroups (it helped that it was spring/summer)-parks, picnics, petting zoos, farmer's markets, etc. That way we weren't cooped up inside fighting for toys.

I also posted about this when it came to a head! I'll search for the thread and come back to link it if I find it ;)

ETA: added link:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=308128&mode=full

HTH!

Beth

[purpleeyes]

Our playgroup had a similar problem recently-hitting, pushing, screaming, etc.. Before it ran its course, each mom dealt with it differently and we never handled it as a 'group', which I think worked out b/c I didn't want to gang up on the mom because she is our friend. As a group, we had been friends and seeing each other multiple times a week since our children had been born! We didn't want to end the friendship or 'kick' her out of the group, but we had to help our children, of course.

A few of the moms decided not to attend playgroup at her house when she hosted, and they just rspv'd no politely. That was how they handled it. That actually made things better, since it was less children at her house, which helped. I still attended, and she made good decisions about removing toys the kids would fight over, etc. Whenever she approached us for suggestions, we openly discussed it with her. I felt better seeing her take steps to fix the situation. She really focused on using signs (this was before our guys could talk) and helping him communicate with his signs instead of physically hitting or pushing. She also got serious about consequences and really watched him for his tired/hungry signs. We considered discussing 'discipline' as a group to decide how to handle stealing toys, pushing, etc. so that everyone was on the same page. For example, if DS stole his friends toy and upset him, I wouldn't have a problem with my friend taking the toy from him and telling him no. If someone didn't like that, we wanted to work out a way that they were comfortable with. We never wound up doing that, b/c the things she did with her son worked.

Also, as a group, we decided to do more things outside for our playgroups (it helped that it was spring/summer)-parks, picnics, petting zoos, farmer's markets, etc. That way we weren't cooped up inside fighting for toys.

I also posted about this when it came to a head! I'll search for the thread and come back to link it if I find it ;)

ETA: added link:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=308128&mode=full

HTH!

Beth

[purpleeyes]

Our playgroup had a similar problem recently-hitting, pushing, screaming, etc.. Before it ran its course, each mom dealt with it differently and we never handled it as a 'group', which I think worked out b/c I didn't want to gang up on the mom because she is our friend. As a group, we had been friends and seeing each other multiple times a week since our children had been born! We didn't want to end the friendship or 'kick' her out of the group, but we had to help our children, of course.

A few of the moms decided not to attend playgroup at her house when she hosted, and they just rspv'd no politely. That was how they handled it. That actually made things better, since it was less children at her house, which helped. I still attended, and she made good decisions about removing toys the kids would fight over, etc. Whenever she approached us for suggestions, we openly discussed it with her. I felt better seeing her take steps to fix the situation. She really focused on using signs (this was before our guys could talk) and helping him communicate with his signs instead of physically hitting or pushing. She also got serious about consequences and really watched him for his tired/hungry signs. We considered discussing 'discipline' as a group to decide how to handle stealing toys, pushing, etc. so that everyone was on the same page. For example, if DS stole his friends toy and upset him, I wouldn't have a problem with my friend taking the toy from him and telling him no. If someone didn't like that, we wanted to work out a way that they were comfortable with. We never wound up doing that, b/c the things she did with her son worked.

Also, as a group, we decided to do more things outside for our playgroups (it helped that it was spring/summer)-parks, picnics, petting zoos, farmer's markets, etc. That way we weren't cooped up inside fighting for toys.

I also posted about this when it came to a head! I'll search for the thread and come back to link it if I find it ;)

ETA: added link:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=308128&mode=full

HTH!

Beth

[purpleeyes]

Our playgroup had a similar problem recently-hitting, pushing, screaming, etc.. Before it ran its course, each mom dealt with it differently and we never handled it as a 'group', which I think worked out b/c I didn't want to gang up on the mom because she is our friend. As a group, we had been friends and seeing each other multiple times a week since our children had been born! We didn't want to end the friendship or 'kick' her out of the group, but we had to help our children, of course.

A few of the moms decided not to attend playgroup at her house when she hosted, and they just rspv'd no politely. That was how they handled it. That actually made things better, since it was less children at her house, which helped. I still attended, and she made good decisions about removing toys the kids would fight over, etc. Whenever she approached us for suggestions, we openly discussed it with her. I felt better seeing her take steps to fix the situation. She really focused on using signs (this was before our guys could talk) and helping him communicate with his signs instead of physically hitting or pushing. She also got serious about consequences and really watched him for his tired/hungry signs. We considered discussing 'discipline' as a group to decide how to handle stealing toys, pushing, etc. so that everyone was on the same page. For example, if DS stole his friends toy and upset him, I wouldn't have a problem with my friend taking the toy from him and telling him no. If someone didn't like that, we wanted to work out a way that they were comfortable with. We never wound up doing that, b/c the things she did with her son worked.

Also, as a group, we decided to do more things outside for our playgroups (it helped that it was spring/summer)-parks, picnics, petting zoos, farmer's markets, etc. That way we weren't cooped up inside fighting for toys.

I also posted about this when it came to a head! I'll search for the thread and come back to link it if I find it ;)

ETA: added link:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=308128&mode=full

HTH!

Beth

[lisams]

Well, I have a few thoughts.

First, I think you were totally in the right to tell the child not to hit your child since the mother wasn't there. If someone shoved you to the ground you'd say the same thing, your DD doesn't have the ability to do so, so it's up to you to be her voice and teach her that she can say "No!" when someone is harming her. It's hard to tell if the mother left because of that or if she was so embarassed and upset with her DD's behavior.

About going to playgroup, we actually took a break for about 6 months from ours because of the exact same reason. One of the oldest girls was being really mean to DD and we left with her in tears more often than not. The break really helped, and by the time we started going again DD was older (and bigger) and I think that helped. For some reason DD was the target of the other girl, and once DD was speaking up for herself (and coming to me when the other girl was being mean) it helped tons. I do keep a very close eye on her when she's around the other girl and have made in clear to Emma that when she starts being mean it's time to walk away and find someone else to play with.

It's tough, I know. I hope things work out for you.

[lisams]

Well, I have a few thoughts.

First, I think you were totally in the right to tell the child not to hit your child since the mother wasn't there. If someone shoved you to the ground you'd say the same thing, your DD doesn't have the ability to do so, so it's up to you to be her voice and teach her that she can say "No!" when someone is harming her. It's hard to tell if the mother left because of that or if she was so embarassed and upset with her DD's behavior.

About going to playgroup, we actually took a break for about 6 months from ours because of the exact same reason. One of the oldest girls was being really mean to DD and we left with her in tears more often than not. The break really helped, and by the time we started going again DD was older (and bigger) and I think that helped. For some reason DD was the target of the other girl, and once DD was speaking up for herself (and coming to me when the other girl was being mean) it helped tons. I do keep a very close eye on her when she's around the other girl and have made in clear to Emma that when she starts being mean it's time to walk away and find someone else to play with.

It's tough, I know. I hope things work out for you.

[lisams]

Well, I have a few thoughts.

First, I think you were totally in the right to tell the child not to hit your child since the mother wasn't there. If someone shoved you to the ground you'd say the same thing, your DD doesn't have the ability to do so, so it's up to you to be her voice and teach her that she can say "No!" when someone is harming her. It's hard to tell if the mother left because of that or if she was so embarassed and upset with her DD's behavior.

About going to playgroup, we actually took a break for about 6 months from ours because of the exact same reason. One of the oldest girls was being really mean to DD and we left with her in tears more often than not. The break really helped, and by the time we started going again DD was older (and bigger) and I think that helped. For some reason DD was the target of the other girl, and once DD was speaking up for herself (and coming to me when the other girl was being mean) it helped tons. I do keep a very close eye on her when she's around the other girl and have made in clear to Emma that when she starts being mean it's time to walk away and find someone else to play with.

It's tough, I know. I hope things work out for you.

[lisams]

Well, I have a few thoughts.

First, I think you were totally in the right to tell the child not to hit your child since the mother wasn't there. If someone shoved you to the ground you'd say the same thing, your DD doesn't have the ability to do so, so it's up to you to be her voice and teach her that she can say "No!" when someone is harming her. It's hard to tell if the mother left because of that or if she was so embarassed and upset with her DD's behavior.

About going to playgroup, we actually took a break for about 6 months from ours because of the exact same reason. One of the oldest girls was being really mean to DD and we left with her in tears more often than not. The break really helped, and by the time we started going again DD was older (and bigger) and I think that helped. For some reason DD was the target of the other girl, and once DD was speaking up for herself (and coming to me when the other girl was being mean) it helped tons. I do keep a very close eye on her when she's around the other girl and have made in clear to Emma that when she starts being mean it's time to walk away and find someone else to play with.

It's tough, I know. I hope things work out for you.

[lisams]

Well, I have a few thoughts.

First, I think you were totally in the right to tell the child not to hit your child since the mother wasn't there. If someone shoved you to the ground you'd say the same thing, your DD doesn't have the ability to do so, so it's up to you to be her voice and teach her that she can say "No!" when someone is harming her. It's hard to tell if the mother left because of that or if she was so embarassed and upset with her DD's behavior.

About going to playgroup, we actually took a break for about 6 months from ours because of the exact same reason. One of the oldest girls was being really mean to DD and we left with her in tears more often than not. The break really helped, and by the time we started going again DD was older (and bigger) and I think that helped. For some reason DD was the target of the other girl, and once DD was speaking up for herself (and coming to me when the other girl was being mean) it helped tons. I do keep a very close eye on her when she's around the other girl and have made in clear to Emma that when she starts being mean it's time to walk away and find someone else to play with.

It's tough, I know. I hope things work out for you.

[lisams]

Well, I have a few thoughts.

First, I think you were totally in the right to tell the child not to hit your child since the mother wasn't there. If someone shoved you to the ground you'd say the same thing, your DD doesn't have the ability to do so, so it's up to you to be her voice and teach her that she can say "No!" when someone is harming her. It's hard to tell if the mother left because of that or if she was so embarassed and upset with her DD's behavior.

About going to playgroup, we actually took a break for about 6 months from ours because of the exact same reason. One of the oldest girls was being really mean to DD and we left with her in tears more often than not. The break really helped, and by the time we started going again DD was older (and bigger) and I think that helped. For some reason DD was the target of the other girl, and once DD was speaking up for herself (and coming to me when the other girl was being mean) it helped tons. I do keep a very close eye on her when she's around the other girl and have made in clear to Emma that when she starts being mean it's time to walk away and find someone else to play with.

It's tough, I know. I hope things work out for you.

[lisams]

Well, I have a few thoughts.

First, I think you were totally in the right to tell the child not to hit your child since the mother wasn't there. If someone shoved you to the ground you'd say the same thing, your DD doesn't have the ability to do so, so it's up to you to be her voice and teach her that she can say "No!" when someone is harming her. It's hard to tell if the mother left because of that or if she was so embarassed and upset with her DD's behavior.

About going to playgroup, we actually took a break for about 6 months from ours because of the exact same reason. One of the oldest girls was being really mean to DD and we left with her in tears more often than not. The break really helped, and by the time we started going again DD was older (and bigger) and I think that helped. For some reason DD was the target of the other girl, and once DD was speaking up for herself (and coming to me when the other girl was being mean) it helped tons. I do keep a very close eye on her when she's around the other girl and have made in clear to Emma that when she starts being mean it's time to walk away and find someone else to play with.

It's tough, I know. I hope things work out for you.

[lisams]

Well, I have a few thoughts.

First, I think you were totally in the right to tell the child not to hit your child since the mother wasn't there. If someone shoved you to the ground you'd say the same thing, your DD doesn't have the ability to do so, so it's up to you to be her voice and teach her that she can say "No!" when someone is harming her. It's hard to tell if the mother left because of that or if she was so embarassed and upset with her DD's behavior.

About going to playgroup, we actually took a break for about 6 months from ours because of the exact same reason. One of the oldest girls was being really mean to DD and we left with her in tears more often than not. The break really helped, and by the time we started going again DD was older (and bigger) and I think that helped. For some reason DD was the target of the other girl, and once DD was speaking up for herself (and coming to me when the other girl was being mean) it helped tons. I do keep a very close eye on her when she's around the other girl and have made in clear to Emma that when she starts being mean it's time to walk away and find someone else to play with.

It's tough, I know. I hope things work out for you.

[lisams]

Well, I have a few thoughts.

First, I think you were totally in the right to tell the child not to hit your child since the mother wasn't there. If someone shoved you to the ground you'd say the same thing, your DD doesn't have the ability to do so, so it's up to you to be her voice and teach her that she can say "No!" when someone is harming her. It's hard to tell if the mother left because of that or if she was so embarassed and upset with her DD's behavior.

About going to playgroup, we actually took a break for about 6 months from ours because of the exact same reason. One of the oldest girls was being really mean to DD and we left with her in tears more often than not. The break really helped, and by the time we started going again DD was older (and bigger) and I think that helped. For some reason DD was the target of the other girl, and once DD was speaking up for herself (and coming to me when the other girl was being mean) it helped tons. I do keep a very close eye on her when she's around the other girl and have made in clear to Emma that when she starts being mean it's time to walk away and find someone else to play with.

It's tough, I know. I hope things work out for you.

[firstbaby]

we have this situation with another child in our neighborhood. They frequently visit our next door neighbors and the parents very cleary feel that they are there to socialize and not supervise their children (they have told their children in front of everyone that they are not there to play with them but to socialize with the "adults"). The girl for whatever reason has decided to "target" my DS to bully. We've decided to limit interacting with them when they are over because with their DDs behavior and their choice to not watch their child, it makes for a totally unenjoyable and stressful time. The neighbors also believe that these types of "squables" should be left to the kids to be worked out for themselves. Um, let's see how you felt about it if your kids were being picked on.

It is too bad that the child's mother is upset with you and not with her child for the behavior. She certainly isn't doing her daughter any favors by not addressing it. I think playgroup has so much to offer both moms and kids but it doesn't sound like it is giving you a chance to enjoy it with having to patrol this other child's actions as well.

Do you know how the other moms feel about this child? Are you close with the child's mother? I would probably try to address it some way - discussing discipline as a group or directly with the mom to explain that while you are not trying to parent her daughter, you have to be an advocate and protector of your own.

Good luck - keep us posted.

[firstbaby]

we have this situation with another child in our neighborhood. They frequently visit our next door neighbors and the parents very cleary feel that they are there to socialize and not supervise their children (they have told their children in front of everyone that they are not there to play with them but to socialize with the "adults"). The girl for whatever reason has decided to "target" my DS to bully. We've decided to limit interacting with them when they are over because with their DDs behavior and their choice to not watch their child, it makes for a totally unenjoyable and stressful time. The neighbors also believe that these types of "squables" should be left to the kids to be worked out for themselves. Um, let's see how you felt about it if your kids were being picked on.

It is too bad that the child's mother is upset with you and not with her child for the behavior. She certainly isn't doing her daughter any favors by not addressing it. I think playgroup has so much to offer both moms and kids but it doesn't sound like it is giving you a chance to enjoy it with having to patrol this other child's actions as well.

Do you know how the other moms feel about this child? Are you close with the child's mother? I would probably try to address it some way - discussing discipline as a group or directly with the mom to explain that while you are not trying to parent her daughter, you have to be an advocate and protector of your own.

Good luck - keep us posted.

[firstbaby]

we have this situation with another child in our neighborhood. They frequently visit our next door neighbors and the parents very cleary feel that they are there to socialize and not supervise their children (they have told their children in front of everyone that they are not there to play with them but to socialize with the "adults"). The girl for whatever reason has decided to "target" my DS to bully. We've decided to limit interacting with them when they are over because with their DDs behavior and their choice to not watch their child, it makes for a totally unenjoyable and stressful time. The neighbors also believe that these types of "squables" should be left to the kids to be worked out for themselves. Um, let's see how you felt about it if your kids were being picked on.

It is too bad that the child's mother is upset with you and not with her child for the behavior. She certainly isn't doing her daughter any favors by not addressing it. I think playgroup has so much to offer both moms and kids but it doesn't sound like it is giving you a chance to enjoy it with having to patrol this other child's actions as well.

Do you know how the other moms feel about this child? Are you close with the child's mother? I would probably try to address it some way - discussing discipline as a group or directly with the mom to explain that while you are not trying to parent her daughter, you have to be an advocate and protector of your own.

Good luck - keep us posted.

[firstbaby]

we have this situation with another child in our neighborhood. They frequently visit our next door neighbors and the parents very cleary feel that they are there to socialize and not supervise their children (they have told their children in front of everyone that they are not there to play with them but to socialize with the "adults"). The girl for whatever reason has decided to "target" my DS to bully. We've decided to limit interacting with them when they are over because with their DDs behavior and their choice to not watch their child, it makes for a totally unenjoyable and stressful time. The neighbors also believe that these types of "squables" should be left to the kids to be worked out for themselves. Um, let's see how you felt about it if your kids were being picked on.

It is too bad that the child's mother is upset with you and not with her child for the behavior. She certainly isn't doing her daughter any favors by not addressing it. I think playgroup has so much to offer both moms and kids but it doesn't sound like it is giving you a chance to enjoy it with having to patrol this other child's actions as well.

Do you know how the other moms feel about this child? Are you close with the child's mother? I would probably try to address it some way - discussing discipline as a group or directly with the mom to explain that while you are not trying to parent her daughter, you have to be an advocate and protector of your own.

Good luck - keep us posted.

[firstbaby]

we have this situation with another child in our neighborhood. They frequently visit our next door neighbors and the parents very cleary feel that they are there to socialize and not supervise their children (they have told their children in front of everyone that they are not there to play with them but to socialize with the "adults"). The girl for whatever reason has decided to "target" my DS to bully. We've decided to limit interacting with them when they are over because with their DDs behavior and their choice to not watch their child, it makes for a totally unenjoyable and stressful time. The neighbors also believe that these types of "squables" should be left to the kids to be worked out for themselves. Um, let's see how you felt about it if your kids were being picked on.

It is too bad that the child's mother is upset with you and not with her child for the behavior. She certainly isn't doing her daughter any favors by not addressing it. I think playgroup has so much to offer both moms and kids but it doesn't sound like it is giving you a chance to enjoy it with having to patrol this other child's actions as well.

Do you know how the other moms feel about this child? Are you close with the child's mother? I would probably try to address it some way - discussing discipline as a group or directly with the mom to explain that while you are not trying to parent her daughter, you have to be an advocate and protector of your own.

Good luck - keep us posted.

[firstbaby]

we have this situation with another child in our neighborhood. They frequently visit our next door neighbors and the parents very cleary feel that they are there to socialize and not supervise their children (they have told their children in front of everyone that they are not there to play with them but to socialize with the "adults"). The girl for whatever reason has decided to "target" my DS to bully. We've decided to limit interacting with them when they are over because with their DDs behavior and their choice to not watch their child, it makes for a totally unenjoyable and stressful time. The neighbors also believe that these types of "squables" should be left to the kids to be worked out for themselves. Um, let's see how you felt about it if your kids were being picked on.

It is too bad that the child's mother is upset with you and not with her child for the behavior. She certainly isn't doing her daughter any favors by not addressing it. I think playgroup has so much to offer both moms and kids but it doesn't sound like it is giving you a chance to enjoy it with having to patrol this other child's actions as well.

Do you know how the other moms feel about this child? Are you close with the child's mother? I would probably try to address it some way - discussing discipline as a group or directly with the mom to explain that while you are not trying to parent her daughter, you have to be an advocate and protector of your own.

Good luck - keep us posted.

[firstbaby]

we have this situation with another child in our neighborhood. They frequently visit our next door neighbors and the parents very cleary feel that they are there to socialize and not supervise their children (they have told their children in front of everyone that they are not there to play with them but to socialize with the "adults"). The girl for whatever reason has decided to "target" my DS to bully. We've decided to limit interacting with them when they are over because with their DDs behavior and their choice to not watch their child, it makes for a totally unenjoyable and stressful time. The neighbors also believe that these types of "squables" should be left to the kids to be worked out for themselves. Um, let's see how you felt about it if your kids were being picked on.

It is too bad that the child's mother is upset with you and not with her child for the behavior. She certainly isn't doing her daughter any favors by not addressing it. I think playgroup has so much to offer both moms and kids but it doesn't sound like it is giving you a chance to enjoy it with having to patrol this other child's actions as well.

Do you know how the other moms feel about this child? Are you close with the child's mother? I would probably try to address it some way - discussing discipline as a group or directly with the mom to explain that while you are not trying to parent her daughter, you have to be an advocate and protector of your own.

Good luck - keep us posted.

[firstbaby]

we have this situation with another child in our neighborhood. They frequently visit our next door neighbors and the parents very cleary feel that they are there to socialize and not supervise their children (they have told their children in front of everyone that they are not there to play with them but to socialize with the "adults"). The girl for whatever reason has decided to "target" my DS to bully. We've decided to limit interacting with them when they are over because with their DDs behavior and their choice to not watch their child, it makes for a totally unenjoyable and stressful time. The neighbors also believe that these types of "squables" should be left to the kids to be worked out for themselves. Um, let's see how you felt about it if your kids were being picked on.

It is too bad that the child's mother is upset with you and not with her child for the behavior. She certainly isn't doing her daughter any favors by not addressing it. I think playgroup has so much to offer both moms and kids but it doesn't sound like it is giving you a chance to enjoy it with having to patrol this other child's actions as well.

Do you know how the other moms feel about this child? Are you close with the child's mother? I would probably try to address it some way - discussing discipline as a group or directly with the mom to explain that while you are not trying to parent her daughter, you have to be an advocate and protector of your own.

Good luck - keep us posted.

[firstbaby]

we have this situation with another child in our neighborhood. They frequently visit our next door neighbors and the parents very cleary feel that they are there to socialize and not supervise their children (they have told their children in front of everyone that they are not there to play with them but to socialize with the "adults"). The girl for whatever reason has decided to "target" my DS to bully. We've decided to limit interacting with them when they are over because with their DDs behavior and their choice to not watch their child, it makes for a totally unenjoyable and stressful time. The neighbors also believe that these types of "squables" should be left to the kids to be worked out for themselves. Um, let's see how you felt about it if your kids were being picked on.

It is too bad that the child's mother is upset with you and not with her child for the behavior. She certainly isn't doing her daughter any favors by not addressing it. I think playgroup has so much to offer both moms and kids but it doesn't sound like it is giving you a chance to enjoy it with having to patrol this other child's actions as well.

Do you know how the other moms feel about this child? Are you close with the child's mother? I would probably try to address it some way - discussing discipline as a group or directly with the mom to explain that while you are not trying to parent her daughter, you have to be an advocate and protector of your own.

Good luck - keep us posted.

[brittone2]

Haven't BTDT w/ DS's friends yet too much, but how frustrating.

I'd *try* to remember that the mom is kind of the one to be upset with here for not intervening.

Since no one has tossed this out there yet, I will. While it is very possible that this child is just totally out of control behaviorally, there are certain conditions like Sensory Integration Dysfunction that can lead to what looks like "aggressive" behavior (which it is, but for a "reason"). Some kids cannot deal at ALL with other kids in their space (and even within a huge radius might just feel too close to that particular child). Some kids with sensory issues bite, kick, etc. because of their sensory problems. Sensory Integration problems IMO are quite common...they are getting diagnosed pretty often now but there are still lots of kids I see out and about and wonder if they have some sensory problems. THese kids have trouble regulating their senses and may get easily "revved" up, they may bite/hit/kick if someone invades their space, or they may do it to get a sensory "craving" met basically.

It sounds weird but just tossing out the possibility that the child could have something like this contributing.

I'd probably avoid playgroup for a while to cool down if I needed to, and then I'd probably literally shadow DD to protect her if it is that bad. If the aggressive child's mom isn't stepping up to the plate to supervise, at least you can be there and try to intervene...not to discipline the other child, but to help keep your DD safe. Maybe the mom would get the message then?

If you can I think the idea of the whole group discussing how to handle "aggressive" behavior (and maybe put it in the light that they will all do this from time to time if you can to not make the mom feel singled out??) behavior in playgroup as the kids are getting older is a good one.

[brittone2]

Haven't BTDT w/ DS's friends yet too much, but how frustrating.

I'd *try* to remember that the mom is kind of the one to be upset with here for not intervening.

Since no one has tossed this out there yet, I will. While it is very possible that this child is just totally out of control behaviorally, there are certain conditions like Sensory Integration Dysfunction that can lead to what looks like "aggressive" behavior (which it is, but for a "reason"). Some kids cannot deal at ALL with other kids in their space (and even within a huge radius might just feel too close to that particular child). Some kids with sensory issues bite, kick, etc. because of their sensory problems. Sensory Integration problems IMO are quite common...they are getting diagnosed pretty often now but there are still lots of kids I see out and about and wonder if they have some sensory problems. THese kids have trouble regulating their senses and may get easily "revved" up, they may bite/hit/kick if someone invades their space, or they may do it to get a sensory "craving" met basically.

It sounds weird but just tossing out the possibility that the child could have something like this contributing.

I'd probably avoid playgroup for a while to cool down if I needed to, and then I'd probably literally shadow DD to protect her if it is that bad. If the aggressive child's mom isn't stepping up to the plate to supervise, at least you can be there and try to intervene...not to discipline the other child, but to help keep your DD safe. Maybe the mom would get the message then?

If you can I think the idea of the whole group discussing how to handle "aggressive" behavior (and maybe put it in the light that they will all do this from time to time if you can to not make the mom feel singled out??) behavior in playgroup as the kids are getting older is a good one.

[brittone2]

Haven't BTDT w/ DS's friends yet too much, but how frustrating.

I'd *try* to remember that the mom is kind of the one to be upset with here for not intervening.

Since no one has tossed this out there yet, I will. While it is very possible that this child is just totally out of control behaviorally, there are certain conditions like Sensory Integration Dysfunction that can lead to what looks like "aggressive" behavior (which it is, but for a "reason"). Some kids cannot deal at ALL with other kids in their space (and even within a huge radius might just feel too close to that particular child). Some kids with sensory issues bite, kick, etc. because of their sensory problems. Sensory Integration problems IMO are quite common...they are getting diagnosed pretty often now but there are still lots of kids I see out and about and wonder if they have some sensory problems. THese kids have trouble regulating their senses and may get easily "revved" up, they may bite/hit/kick if someone invades their space, or they may do it to get a sensory "craving" met basically.

It sounds weird but just tossing out the possibility that the child could have something like this contributing.

I'd probably avoid playgroup for a while to cool down if I needed to, and then I'd probably literally shadow DD to protect her if it is that bad. If the aggressive child's mom isn't stepping up to the plate to supervise, at least you can be there and try to intervene...not to discipline the other child, but to help keep your DD safe. Maybe the mom would get the message then?

If you can I think the idea of the whole group discussing how to handle "aggressive" behavior (and maybe put it in the light that they will all do this from time to time if you can to not make the mom feel singled out??) behavior in playgroup as the kids are getting older is a good one.

[brittone2]

Haven't BTDT w/ DS's friends yet too much, but how frustrating.

I'd *try* to remember that the mom is kind of the one to be upset with here for not intervening.

Since no one has tossed this out there yet, I will. While it is very possible that this child is just totally out of control behaviorally, there are certain conditions like Sensory Integration Dysfunction that can lead to what looks like "aggressive" behavior (which it is, but for a "reason"). Some kids cannot deal at ALL with other kids in their space (and even within a huge radius might just feel too close to that particular child). Some kids with sensory issues bite, kick, etc. because of their sensory problems. Sensory Integration problems IMO are quite common...they are getting diagnosed pretty often now but there are still lots of kids I see out and about and wonder if they have some sensory problems. THese kids have trouble regulating their senses and may get easily "revved" up, they may bite/hit/kick if someone invades their space, or they may do it to get a sensory "craving" met basically.

It sounds weird but just tossing out the possibility that the child could have something like this contributing.

I'd probably avoid playgroup for a while to cool down if I needed to, and then I'd probably literally shadow DD to protect her if it is that bad. If the aggressive child's mom isn't stepping up to the plate to supervise, at least you can be there and try to intervene...not to discipline the other child, but to help keep your DD safe. Maybe the mom would get the message then?

If you can I think the idea of the whole group discussing how to handle "aggressive" behavior (and maybe put it in the light that they will all do this from time to time if you can to not make the mom feel singled out??) behavior in playgroup as the kids are getting older is a good one.

[brittone2]

Haven't BTDT w/ DS's friends yet too much, but how frustrating.

I'd *try* to remember that the mom is kind of the one to be upset with here for not intervening.

Since no one has tossed this out there yet, I will. While it is very possible that this child is just totally out of control behaviorally, there are certain conditions like Sensory Integration Dysfunction that can lead to what looks like "aggressive" behavior (which it is, but for a "reason"). Some kids cannot deal at ALL with other kids in their space (and even within a huge radius might just feel too close to that particular child). Some kids with sensory issues bite, kick, etc. because of their sensory problems. Sensory Integration problems IMO are quite common...they are getting diagnosed pretty often now but there are still lots of kids I see out and about and wonder if they have some sensory problems. THese kids have trouble regulating their senses and may get easily "revved" up, they may bite/hit/kick if someone invades their space, or they may do it to get a sensory "craving" met basically.

It sounds weird but just tossing out the possibility that the child could have something like this contributing.

I'd probably avoid playgroup for a while to cool down if I needed to, and then I'd probably literally shadow DD to protect her if it is that bad. If the aggressive child's mom isn't stepping up to the plate to supervise, at least you can be there and try to intervene...not to discipline the other child, but to help keep your DD safe. Maybe the mom would get the message then?

If you can I think the idea of the whole group discussing how to handle "aggressive" behavior (and maybe put it in the light that they will all do this from time to time if you can to not make the mom feel singled out??) behavior in playgroup as the kids are getting older is a good one.

[brittone2]

Haven't BTDT w/ DS's friends yet too much, but how frustrating.

I'd *try* to remember that the mom is kind of the one to be upset with here for not intervening.

Since no one has tossed this out there yet, I will. While it is very possible that this child is just totally out of control behaviorally, there are certain conditions like Sensory Integration Dysfunction that can lead to what looks like "aggressive" behavior (which it is, but for a "reason"). Some kids cannot deal at ALL with other kids in their space (and even within a huge radius might just feel too close to that particular child). Some kids with sensory issues bite, kick, etc. because of their sensory problems. Sensory Integration problems IMO are quite common...they are getting diagnosed pretty often now but there are still lots of kids I see out and about and wonder if they have some sensory problems. THese kids have trouble regulating their senses and may get easily "revved" up, they may bite/hit/kick if someone invades their space, or they may do it to get a sensory "craving" met basically.

It sounds weird but just tossing out the possibility that the child could have something like this contributing.

I'd probably avoid playgroup for a while to cool down if I needed to, and then I'd probably literally shadow DD to protect her if it is that bad. If the aggressive child's mom isn't stepping up to the plate to supervise, at least you can be there and try to intervene...not to discipline the other child, but to help keep your DD safe. Maybe the mom would get the message then?

If you can I think the idea of the whole group discussing how to handle "aggressive" behavior (and maybe put it in the light that they will all do this from time to time if you can to not make the mom feel singled out??) behavior in playgroup as the kids are getting older is a good one.

[brittone2]

Haven't BTDT w/ DS's friends yet too much, but how frustrating.

I'd *try* to remember that the mom is kind of the one to be upset with here for not intervening.

Since no one has tossed this out there yet, I will. While it is very possible that this child is just totally out of control behaviorally, there are certain conditions like Sensory Integration Dysfunction that can lead to what looks like "aggressive" behavior (which it is, but for a "reason"). Some kids cannot deal at ALL with other kids in their space (and even within a huge radius might just feel too close to that particular child). Some kids with sensory issues bite, kick, etc. because of their sensory problems. Sensory Integration problems IMO are quite common...they are getting diagnosed pretty often now but there are still lots of kids I see out and about and wonder if they have some sensory problems. THese kids have trouble regulating their senses and may get easily "revved" up, they may bite/hit/kick if someone invades their space, or they may do it to get a sensory "craving" met basically.

It sounds weird but just tossing out the possibility that the child could have something like this contributing.

I'd probably avoid playgroup for a while to cool down if I needed to, and then I'd probably literally shadow DD to protect her if it is that bad. If the aggressive child's mom isn't stepping up to the plate to supervise, at least you can be there and try to intervene...not to discipline the other child, but to help keep your DD safe. Maybe the mom would get the message then?

If you can I think the idea of the whole group discussing how to handle "aggressive" behavior (and maybe put it in the light that they will all do this from time to time if you can to not make the mom feel singled out??) behavior in playgroup as the kids are getting older is a good one.

[brittone2]

Haven't BTDT w/ DS's friends yet too much, but how frustrating.

I'd *try* to remember that the mom is kind of the one to be upset with here for not intervening.

Since no one has tossed this out there yet, I will. While it is very possible that this child is just totally out of control behaviorally, there are certain conditions like Sensory Integration Dysfunction that can lead to what looks like "aggressive" behavior (which it is, but for a "reason"). Some kids cannot deal at ALL with other kids in their space (and even within a huge radius might just feel too close to that particular child). Some kids with sensory issues bite, kick, etc. because of their sensory problems. Sensory Integration problems IMO are quite common...they are getting diagnosed pretty often now but there are still lots of kids I see out and about and wonder if they have some sensory problems. THese kids have trouble regulating their senses and may get easily "revved" up, they may bite/hit/kick if someone invades their space, or they may do it to get a sensory "craving" met basically.

It sounds weird but just tossing out the possibility that the child could have something like this contributing.

I'd probably avoid playgroup for a while to cool down if I needed to, and then I'd probably literally shadow DD to protect her if it is that bad. If the aggressive child's mom isn't stepping up to the plate to supervise, at least you can be there and try to intervene...not to discipline the other child, but to help keep your DD safe. Maybe the mom would get the message then?

If you can I think the idea of the whole group discussing how to handle "aggressive" behavior (and maybe put it in the light that they will all do this from time to time if you can to not make the mom feel singled out??) behavior in playgroup as the kids are getting older is a good one.

[brittone2]

Haven't BTDT w/ DS's friends yet too much, but how frustrating.

I'd *try* to remember that the mom is kind of the one to be upset with here for not intervening.

Since no one has tossed this out there yet, I will. While it is very possible that this child is just totally out of control behaviorally, there are certain conditions like Sensory Integration Dysfunction that can lead to what looks like "aggressive" behavior (which it is, but for a "reason"). Some kids cannot deal at ALL with other kids in their space (and even within a huge radius might just feel too close to that particular child). Some kids with sensory issues bite, kick, etc. because of their sensory problems. Sensory Integration problems IMO are quite common...they are getting diagnosed pretty often now but there are still lots of kids I see out and about and wonder if they have some sensory problems. THese kids have trouble regulating their senses and may get easily "revved" up, they may bite/hit/kick if someone invades their space, or they may do it to get a sensory "craving" met basically.

It sounds weird but just tossing out the possibility that the child could have something like this contributing.

I'd probably avoid playgroup for a while to cool down if I needed to, and then I'd probably literally shadow DD to protect her if it is that bad. If the aggressive child's mom isn't stepping up to the plate to supervise, at least you can be there and try to intervene...not to discipline the other child, but to help keep your DD safe. Maybe the mom would get the message then?

If you can I think the idea of the whole group discussing how to handle "aggressive" behavior (and maybe put it in the light that they will all do this from time to time if you can to not make the mom feel singled out??) behavior in playgroup as the kids are getting older is a good one.

[MelissaTC]

We had a similar situation with a child in a playgroup awhile back and it turned out that he does have Sensory Intergration Issues. It is hard for him to be in some social situations and unfortunately, my DS does not enjoy playing with him.

[MelissaTC]

We had a similar situation with a child in a playgroup awhile back and it turned out that he does have Sensory Intergration Issues. It is hard for him to be in some social situations and unfortunately, my DS does not enjoy playing with him.

[MelissaTC]

We had a similar situation with a child in a playgroup awhile back and it turned out that he does have Sensory Intergration Issues. It is hard for him to be in some social situations and unfortunately, my DS does not enjoy playing with him.

[MelissaTC]

We had a similar situation with a child in a playgroup awhile back and it turned out that he does have Sensory Intergration Issues. It is hard for him to be in some social situations and unfortunately, my DS does not enjoy playing with him.

[MelissaTC]

We had a similar situation with a child in a playgroup awhile back and it turned out that he does have Sensory Intergration Issues. It is hard for him to be in some social situations and unfortunately, my DS does not enjoy playing with him.

[MelissaTC]

We had a similar situation with a child in a playgroup awhile back and it turned out that he does have Sensory Intergration Issues. It is hard for him to be in some social situations and unfortunately, my DS does not enjoy playing with him.

[MelissaTC]

We had a similar situation with a child in a playgroup awhile back and it turned out that he does have Sensory Intergration Issues. It is hard for him to be in some social situations and unfortunately, my DS does not enjoy playing with him.

[MelissaTC]

We had a similar situation with a child in a playgroup awhile back and it turned out that he does have Sensory Intergration Issues. It is hard for him to be in some social situations and unfortunately, my DS does not enjoy playing with him.

[MelissaTC]

We had a similar situation with a child in a playgroup awhile back and it turned out that he does have Sensory Intergration Issues. It is hard for him to be in some social situations and unfortunately, my DS does not enjoy playing with him.

[mamato1]

Shoot, I just typed a really long response and lost it!! GRRRR. Let's try this again. I have had a similar situation in our neighborhood playgroup. I considered leaving the group but decided that I was not going to let others ruin our fun.

There is a technique in Solution-Based Therapy called the one-down. I use it alot in situations like this that need to be addressed, but that I do not want to become uncomfortable or confrontational. Basically, you accept responsibility for the problem and seek out the other person's advice to fix it. In your case it would go a little something like this, "Gosh, I have really noticed that my DD has been doing things that seem to upset your DD. I have been trying to see a pattern or figure out what my DD is doing so I can work with her to stop. I can't seem to figure it out. Do you have any ideas because I really want playgroup to be fun for both of them?

Hopefully, it works and the 2 yo's mom will aknowledge that the problem is really with her child and then there can be a calm conversation between the two of you or among the whole group for a solution.

Of course, there is the risk that she will unfairly keep tha blame on your kiddo, but even if that happens, you have at least made an attempt to rectify the situation and social graces should indicate that she should do the same.

HTH, good luck!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shoot, I just typed a really long response and lost it!! GRRRR. Let's try this again. I have had a similar situation in our neighborhood playgroup. I considered leaving the group but decided that I was not going to let others ruin our fun.

There is a technique in Solution-Based Therapy called the one-down. I use it alot in situations like this that need to be addressed, but that I do not want to become uncomfortable or confrontational. Basically, you accept responsibility for the problem and seek out the other person's advice to fix it. In your case it would go a little something like this, "Gosh, I have really noticed that my DD has been doing things that seem to upset your DD. I have been trying to see a pattern or figure out what my DD is doing so I can work with her to stop. I can't seem to figure it out. Do you have any ideas because I really want playgroup to be fun for both of them?

Hopefully, it works and the 2 yo's mom will aknowledge that the problem is really with her child and then there can be a calm conversation between the two of you or among the whole group for a solution.

Of course, there is the risk that she will unfairly keep tha blame on your kiddo, but even if that happens, you have at least made an attempt to rectify the situation and social graces should indicate that she should do the same.

HTH, good luck!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shoot, I just typed a really long response and lost it!! GRRRR. Let's try this again. I have had a similar situation in our neighborhood playgroup. I considered leaving the group but decided that I was not going to let others ruin our fun.

There is a technique in Solution-Based Therapy called the one-down. I use it alot in situations like this that need to be addressed, but that I do not want to become uncomfortable or confrontational. Basically, you accept responsibility for the problem and seek out the other person's advice to fix it. In your case it would go a little something like this, "Gosh, I have really noticed that my DD has been doing things that seem to upset your DD. I have been trying to see a pattern or figure out what my DD is doing so I can work with her to stop. I can't seem to figure it out. Do you have any ideas because I really want playgroup to be fun for both of them?

Hopefully, it works and the 2 yo's mom will aknowledge that the problem is really with her child and then there can be a calm conversation between the two of you or among the whole group for a solution.

Of course, there is the risk that she will unfairly keep tha blame on your kiddo, but even if that happens, you have at least made an attempt to rectify the situation and social graces should indicate that she should do the same.

HTH, good luck!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shoot, I just typed a really long response and lost it!! GRRRR. Let's try this again. I have had a similar situation in our neighborhood playgroup. I considered leaving the group but decided that I was not going to let others ruin our fun.

There is a technique in Solution-Based Therapy called the one-down. I use it alot in situations like this that need to be addressed, but that I do not want to become uncomfortable or confrontational. Basically, you accept responsibility for the problem and seek out the other person's advice to fix it. In your case it would go a little something like this, "Gosh, I have really noticed that my DD has been doing things that seem to upset your DD. I have been trying to see a pattern or figure out what my DD is doing so I can work with her to stop. I can't seem to figure it out. Do you have any ideas because I really want playgroup to be fun for both of them?

Hopefully, it works and the 2 yo's mom will aknowledge that the problem is really with her child and then there can be a calm conversation between the two of you or among the whole group for a solution.

Of course, there is the risk that she will unfairly keep tha blame on your kiddo, but even if that happens, you have at least made an attempt to rectify the situation and social graces should indicate that she should do the same.

HTH, good luck!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shoot, I just typed a really long response and lost it!! GRRRR. Let's try this again. I have had a similar situation in our neighborhood playgroup. I considered leaving the group but decided that I was not going to let others ruin our fun.

There is a technique in Solution-Based Therapy called the one-down. I use it alot in situations like this that need to be addressed, but that I do not want to become uncomfortable or confrontational. Basically, you accept responsibility for the problem and seek out the other person's advice to fix it. In your case it would go a little something like this, "Gosh, I have really noticed that my DD has been doing things that seem to upset your DD. I have been trying to see a pattern or figure out what my DD is doing so I can work with her to stop. I can't seem to figure it out. Do you have any ideas because I really want playgroup to be fun for both of them?

Hopefully, it works and the 2 yo's mom will aknowledge that the problem is really with her child and then there can be a calm conversation between the two of you or among the whole group for a solution.

Of course, there is the risk that she will unfairly keep tha blame on your kiddo, but even if that happens, you have at least made an attempt to rectify the situation and social graces should indicate that she should do the same.

HTH, good luck!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shoot, I just typed a really long response and lost it!! GRRRR. Let's try this again. I have had a similar situation in our neighborhood playgroup. I considered leaving the group but decided that I was not going to let others ruin our fun.

There is a technique in Solution-Based Therapy called the one-down. I use it alot in situations like this that need to be addressed, but that I do not want to become uncomfortable or confrontational. Basically, you accept responsibility for the problem and seek out the other person's advice to fix it. In your case it would go a little something like this, "Gosh, I have really noticed that my DD has been doing things that seem to upset your DD. I have been trying to see a pattern or figure out what my DD is doing so I can work with her to stop. I can't seem to figure it out. Do you have any ideas because I really want playgroup to be fun for both of them?

Hopefully, it works and the 2 yo's mom will aknowledge that the problem is really with her child and then there can be a calm conversation between the two of you or among the whole group for a solution.

Of course, there is the risk that she will unfairly keep tha blame on your kiddo, but even if that happens, you have at least made an attempt to rectify the situation and social graces should indicate that she should do the same.

HTH, good luck!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shoot, I just typed a really long response and lost it!! GRRRR. Let's try this again. I have had a similar situation in our neighborhood playgroup. I considered leaving the group but decided that I was not going to let others ruin our fun.

There is a technique in Solution-Based Therapy called the one-down. I use it alot in situations like this that need to be addressed, but that I do not want to become uncomfortable or confrontational. Basically, you accept responsibility for the problem and seek out the other person's advice to fix it. In your case it would go a little something like this, "Gosh, I have really noticed that my DD has been doing things that seem to upset your DD. I have been trying to see a pattern or figure out what my DD is doing so I can work with her to stop. I can't seem to figure it out. Do you have any ideas because I really want playgroup to be fun for both of them?

Hopefully, it works and the 2 yo's mom will aknowledge that the problem is really with her child and then there can be a calm conversation between the two of you or among the whole group for a solution.

Of course, there is the risk that she will unfairly keep tha blame on your kiddo, but even if that happens, you have at least made an attempt to rectify the situation and social graces should indicate that she should do the same.

HTH, good luck!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shoot, I just typed a really long response and lost it!! GRRRR. Let's try this again. I have had a similar situation in our neighborhood playgroup. I considered leaving the group but decided that I was not going to let others ruin our fun.

There is a technique in Solution-Based Therapy called the one-down. I use it alot in situations like this that need to be addressed, but that I do not want to become uncomfortable or confrontational. Basically, you accept responsibility for the problem and seek out the other person's advice to fix it. In your case it would go a little something like this, "Gosh, I have really noticed that my DD has been doing things that seem to upset your DD. I have been trying to see a pattern or figure out what my DD is doing so I can work with her to stop. I can't seem to figure it out. Do you have any ideas because I really want playgroup to be fun for both of them?

Hopefully, it works and the 2 yo's mom will aknowledge that the problem is really with her child and then there can be a calm conversation between the two of you or among the whole group for a solution.

Of course, there is the risk that she will unfairly keep tha blame on your kiddo, but even if that happens, you have at least made an attempt to rectify the situation and social graces should indicate that she should do the same.

HTH, good luck!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[mamato1]

Shoot, I just typed a really long response and lost it!! GRRRR. Let's try this again. I have had a similar situation in our neighborhood playgroup. I considered leaving the group but decided that I was not going to let others ruin our fun.

There is a technique in Solution-Based Therapy called the one-down. I use it alot in situations like this that need to be addressed, but that I do not want to become uncomfortable or confrontational. Basically, you accept responsibility for the problem and seek out the other person's advice to fix it. In your case it would go a little something like this, "Gosh, I have really noticed that my DD has been doing things that seem to upset your DD. I have been trying to see a pattern or figure out what my DD is doing so I can work with her to stop. I can't seem to figure it out. Do you have any ideas because I really want playgroup to be fun for both of them?

Hopefully, it works and the 2 yo's mom will aknowledge that the problem is really with her child and then there can be a calm conversation between the two of you or among the whole group for a solution.

Of course, there is the risk that she will unfairly keep tha blame on your kiddo, but even if that happens, you have at least made an attempt to rectify the situation and social graces should indicate that she should do the same.

HTH, good luck!

Chris

Mama to Brendan (aka Boomer) 01/16/04


http://b3.lilypie.com/FnI6m5/.png

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

First off I want to apologize for what happened to your DD. I know that I would be upset too.
Second I want to say that my child is a "bully". We are currently in the process of having him evaluated, but it is very obvious to most of us that he has a sensory disorder of some type. He just turned 3 and has very little to NO control. We are on top of him, he does get disciplined when he does wrong (which it sounds like the mom from your group needs to do), and we try to avoid situations that causes him to act out. As a mom of a child like this it is VERY frustrating and so hard to deal with on a day in and day out basis. It is exhausting.
I too belong to a moms group and I have to say it is a lifesaver for me. It is my one "break" of the week. The other moms are aware of my DS and we all try to keep a close eye on him. Things still happen, but we are working on it. If he does push or hurt, I have NO problem what so ever if another mom were to tell him no.
Not sure why I started telling my story...maybe its just to tell you to definitly speak up if you DD is being hurt, but dont leave a group that is so important to you and your DD because of it. Maybe the mom is going through a rough time right now and needs all of you too.
Best of luck,

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

First off I want to apologize for what happened to your DD. I know that I would be upset too.
Second I want to say that my child is a "bully". We are currently in the process of having him evaluated, but it is very obvious to most of us that he has a sensory disorder of some type. He just turned 3 and has very little to NO control. We are on top of him, he does get disciplined when he does wrong (which it sounds like the mom from your group needs to do), and we try to avoid situations that causes him to act out. As a mom of a child like this it is VERY frustrating and so hard to deal with on a day in and day out basis. It is exhausting.
I too belong to a moms group and I have to say it is a lifesaver for me. It is my one "break" of the week. The other moms are aware of my DS and we all try to keep a close eye on him. Things still happen, but we are working on it. If he does push or hurt, I have NO problem what so ever if another mom were to tell him no.
Not sure why I started telling my story...maybe its just to tell you to definitly speak up if you DD is being hurt, but dont leave a group that is so important to you and your DD because of it. Maybe the mom is going through a rough time right now and needs all of you too.
Best of luck,

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

First off I want to apologize for what happened to your DD. I know that I would be upset too.
Second I want to say that my child is a "bully". We are currently in the process of having him evaluated, but it is very obvious to most of us that he has a sensory disorder of some type. He just turned 3 and has very little to NO control. We are on top of him, he does get disciplined when he does wrong (which it sounds like the mom from your group needs to do), and we try to avoid situations that causes him to act out. As a mom of a child like this it is VERY frustrating and so hard to deal with on a day in and day out basis. It is exhausting.
I too belong to a moms group and I have to say it is a lifesaver for me. It is my one "break" of the week. The other moms are aware of my DS and we all try to keep a close eye on him. Things still happen, but we are working on it. If he does push or hurt, I have NO problem what so ever if another mom were to tell him no.
Not sure why I started telling my story...maybe its just to tell you to definitly speak up if you DD is being hurt, but dont leave a group that is so important to you and your DD because of it. Maybe the mom is going through a rough time right now and needs all of you too.
Best of luck,

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

First off I want to apologize for what happened to your DD. I know that I would be upset too.
Second I want to say that my child is a "bully". We are currently in the process of having him evaluated, but it is very obvious to most of us that he has a sensory disorder of some type. He just turned 3 and has very little to NO control. We are on top of him, he does get disciplined when he does wrong (which it sounds like the mom from your group needs to do), and we try to avoid situations that causes him to act out. As a mom of a child like this it is VERY frustrating and so hard to deal with on a day in and day out basis. It is exhausting.
I too belong to a moms group and I have to say it is a lifesaver for me. It is my one "break" of the week. The other moms are aware of my DS and we all try to keep a close eye on him. Things still happen, but we are working on it. If he does push or hurt, I have NO problem what so ever if another mom were to tell him no.
Not sure why I started telling my story...maybe its just to tell you to definitly speak up if you DD is being hurt, but dont leave a group that is so important to you and your DD because of it. Maybe the mom is going through a rough time right now and needs all of you too.
Best of luck,

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

First off I want to apologize for what happened to your DD. I know that I would be upset too.
Second I want to say that my child is a "bully". We are currently in the process of having him evaluated, but it is very obvious to most of us that he has a sensory disorder of some type. He just turned 3 and has very little to NO control. We are on top of him, he does get disciplined when he does wrong (which it sounds like the mom from your group needs to do), and we try to avoid situations that causes him to act out. As a mom of a child like this it is VERY frustrating and so hard to deal with on a day in and day out basis. It is exhausting.
I too belong to a moms group and I have to say it is a lifesaver for me. It is my one "break" of the week. The other moms are aware of my DS and we all try to keep a close eye on him. Things still happen, but we are working on it. If he does push or hurt, I have NO problem what so ever if another mom were to tell him no.
Not sure why I started telling my story...maybe its just to tell you to definitly speak up if you DD is being hurt, but dont leave a group that is so important to you and your DD because of it. Maybe the mom is going through a rough time right now and needs all of you too.
Best of luck,

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

First off I want to apologize for what happened to your DD. I know that I would be upset too.
Second I want to say that my child is a "bully". We are currently in the process of having him evaluated, but it is very obvious to most of us that he has a sensory disorder of some type. He just turned 3 and has very little to NO control. We are on top of him, he does get disciplined when he does wrong (which it sounds like the mom from your group needs to do), and we try to avoid situations that causes him to act out. As a mom of a child like this it is VERY frustrating and so hard to deal with on a day in and day out basis. It is exhausting.
I too belong to a moms group and I have to say it is a lifesaver for me. It is my one "break" of the week. The other moms are aware of my DS and we all try to keep a close eye on him. Things still happen, but we are working on it. If he does push or hurt, I have NO problem what so ever if another mom were to tell him no.
Not sure why I started telling my story...maybe its just to tell you to definitly speak up if you DD is being hurt, but dont leave a group that is so important to you and your DD because of it. Maybe the mom is going through a rough time right now and needs all of you too.
Best of luck,

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

First off I want to apologize for what happened to your DD. I know that I would be upset too.
Second I want to say that my child is a "bully". We are currently in the process of having him evaluated, but it is very obvious to most of us that he has a sensory disorder of some type. He just turned 3 and has very little to NO control. We are on top of him, he does get disciplined when he does wrong (which it sounds like the mom from your group needs to do), and we try to avoid situations that causes him to act out. As a mom of a child like this it is VERY frustrating and so hard to deal with on a day in and day out basis. It is exhausting.
I too belong to a moms group and I have to say it is a lifesaver for me. It is my one "break" of the week. The other moms are aware of my DS and we all try to keep a close eye on him. Things still happen, but we are working on it. If he does push or hurt, I have NO problem what so ever if another mom were to tell him no.
Not sure why I started telling my story...maybe its just to tell you to definitly speak up if you DD is being hurt, but dont leave a group that is so important to you and your DD because of it. Maybe the mom is going through a rough time right now and needs all of you too.
Best of luck,

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

First off I want to apologize for what happened to your DD. I know that I would be upset too.
Second I want to say that my child is a "bully". We are currently in the process of having him evaluated, but it is very obvious to most of us that he has a sensory disorder of some type. He just turned 3 and has very little to NO control. We are on top of him, he does get disciplined when he does wrong (which it sounds like the mom from your group needs to do), and we try to avoid situations that causes him to act out. As a mom of a child like this it is VERY frustrating and so hard to deal with on a day in and day out basis. It is exhausting.
I too belong to a moms group and I have to say it is a lifesaver for me. It is my one "break" of the week. The other moms are aware of my DS and we all try to keep a close eye on him. Things still happen, but we are working on it. If he does push or hurt, I have NO problem what so ever if another mom were to tell him no.
Not sure why I started telling my story...maybe its just to tell you to definitly speak up if you DD is being hurt, but dont leave a group that is so important to you and your DD because of it. Maybe the mom is going through a rough time right now and needs all of you too.
Best of luck,

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

First off I want to apologize for what happened to your DD. I know that I would be upset too.
Second I want to say that my child is a "bully". We are currently in the process of having him evaluated, but it is very obvious to most of us that he has a sensory disorder of some type. He just turned 3 and has very little to NO control. We are on top of him, he does get disciplined when he does wrong (which it sounds like the mom from your group needs to do), and we try to avoid situations that causes him to act out. As a mom of a child like this it is VERY frustrating and so hard to deal with on a day in and day out basis. It is exhausting.
I too belong to a moms group and I have to say it is a lifesaver for me. It is my one "break" of the week. The other moms are aware of my DS and we all try to keep a close eye on him. Things still happen, but we are working on it. If he does push or hurt, I have NO problem what so ever if another mom were to tell him no.
Not sure why I started telling my story...maybe its just to tell you to definitly speak up if you DD is being hurt, but dont leave a group that is so important to you and your DD because of it. Maybe the mom is going through a rough time right now and needs all of you too.
Best of luck,

[megs4413]

That's a very interesting perspective. I have wondered for awhile now if their DD had some kind of behavioral or social problem. It just doesn't seem like some of the 2yo's behavior could be explained any other way. It is truly incomprehensible at times. I think the hard thing for me is, that my friend (2yo's mother) is very passive and quiet and really doesn't do much disciplining at all with her children. She is also really in over her head IMO with her crew. She is a WAHM of two who are 25 and 9 mos old. It's A LOT to handle and I think she feels exasperated and out of control most of the time. The normal response from her when 2yo acts out in this way is just a simple "NO!" and a BIIIIIG sigh....I think she could really use some help.

UNFORTUNATELY--this friend is one of those people who doesn't take kindly to constructive criticism...or even advice really....she always feels "attacked" and "like a bad mother". Here is an example, I was explaining to a couple moms in the group (including this woman) that ready to feed formula has to be refrigerated once it is opened and needs to be used within 72 hours (i know it's crazy that they didn't know this and had been feeding their children UNREFRIGERATED OLD FORMULA!!!!!!!!!!!). I felt I did it in a nice, tactful way but apparently not. This woman said, "well i guess i'm a bad mother." I was like...no..i'm not saying that...it's just that it's on the bottle....clearly your child is fine....i dont' know why they tell you to do it that way, they just do..." so on and so forth trying to calm her. Honestly i don't think there's a way to approach this situation with her DD that won't seem confrontational to her. And to put it bluntly....I AM CONFRONTATIONAL. I often think I am being gentle and tactful, when in reality I sound like a....witch....I think I will try to steer DD clear of the 2yo and keep my fingers crossed that that will be enough to allow us to remain at peace in the group.

[megs4413]

That's a very interesting perspective. I have wondered for awhile now if their DD had some kind of behavioral or social problem. It just doesn't seem like some of the 2yo's behavior could be explained any other way. It is truly incomprehensible at times. I think the hard thing for me is, that my friend (2yo's mother) is very passive and quiet and really doesn't do much disciplining at all with her children. She is also really in over her head IMO with her crew. She is a WAHM of two who are 25 and 9 mos old. It's A LOT to handle and I think she feels exasperated and out of control most of the time. The normal response from her when 2yo acts out in this way is just a simple "NO!" and a BIIIIIG sigh....I think she could really use some help.

UNFORTUNATELY--this friend is one of those people who doesn't take kindly to constructive criticism...or even advice really....she always feels "attacked" and "like a bad mother". Here is an example, I was explaining to a couple moms in the group (including this woman) that ready to feed formula has to be refrigerated once it is opened and needs to be used within 72 hours (i know it's crazy that they didn't know this and had been feeding their children UNREFRIGERATED OLD FORMULA!!!!!!!!!!!). I felt I did it in a nice, tactful way but apparently not. This woman said, "well i guess i'm a bad mother." I was like...no..i'm not saying that...it's just that it's on the bottle....clearly your child is fine....i dont' know why they tell you to do it that way, they just do..." so on and so forth trying to calm her. Honestly i don't think there's a way to approach this situation with her DD that won't seem confrontational to her. And to put it bluntly....I AM CONFRONTATIONAL. I often think I am being gentle and tactful, when in reality I sound like a....witch....I think I will try to steer DD clear of the 2yo and keep my fingers crossed that that will be enough to allow us to remain at peace in the group.

[megs4413]

That's a very interesting perspective. I have wondered for awhile now if their DD had some kind of behavioral or social problem. It just doesn't seem like some of the 2yo's behavior could be explained any other way. It is truly incomprehensible at times. I think the hard thing for me is, that my friend (2yo's mother) is very passive and quiet and really doesn't do much disciplining at all with her children. She is also really in over her head IMO with her crew. She is a WAHM of two who are 25 and 9 mos old. It's A LOT to handle and I think she feels exasperated and out of control most of the time. The normal response from her when 2yo acts out in this way is just a simple "NO!" and a BIIIIIG sigh....I think she could really use some help.

UNFORTUNATELY--this friend is one of those people who doesn't take kindly to constructive criticism...or even advice really....she always feels "attacked" and "like a bad mother". Here is an example, I was explaining to a couple moms in the group (including this woman) that ready to feed formula has to be refrigerated once it is opened and needs to be used within 72 hours (i know it's crazy that they didn't know this and had been feeding their children UNREFRIGERATED OLD FORMULA!!!!!!!!!!!). I felt I did it in a nice, tactful way but apparently not. This woman said, "well i guess i'm a bad mother." I was like...no..i'm not saying that...it's just that it's on the bottle....clearly your child is fine....i dont' know why they tell you to do it that way, they just do..." so on and so forth trying to calm her. Honestly i don't think there's a way to approach this situation with her DD that won't seem confrontational to her. And to put it bluntly....I AM CONFRONTATIONAL. I often think I am being gentle and tactful, when in reality I sound like a....witch....I think I will try to steer DD clear of the 2yo and keep my fingers crossed that that will be enough to allow us to remain at peace in the group.

[megs4413]

That's a very interesting perspective. I have wondered for awhile now if their DD had some kind of behavioral or social problem. It just doesn't seem like some of the 2yo's behavior could be explained any other way. It is truly incomprehensible at times. I think the hard thing for me is, that my friend (2yo's mother) is very passive and quiet and really doesn't do much disciplining at all with her children. She is also really in over her head IMO with her crew. She is a WAHM of two who are 25 and 9 mos old. It's A LOT to handle and I think she feels exasperated and out of control most of the time. The normal response from her when 2yo acts out in this way is just a simple "NO!" and a BIIIIIG sigh....I think she could really use some help.

UNFORTUNATELY--this friend is one of those people who doesn't take kindly to constructive criticism...or even advice really....she always feels "attacked" and "like a bad mother". Here is an example, I was explaining to a couple moms in the group (including this woman) that ready to feed formula has to be refrigerated once it is opened and needs to be used within 72 hours (i know it's crazy that they didn't know this and had been feeding their children UNREFRIGERATED OLD FORMULA!!!!!!!!!!!). I felt I did it in a nice, tactful way but apparently not. This woman said, "well i guess i'm a bad mother." I was like...no..i'm not saying that...it's just that it's on the bottle....clearly your child is fine....i dont' know why they tell you to do it that way, they just do..." so on and so forth trying to calm her. Honestly i don't think there's a way to approach this situation with her DD that won't seem confrontational to her. And to put it bluntly....I AM CONFRONTATIONAL. I often think I am being gentle and tactful, when in reality I sound like a....witch....I think I will try to steer DD clear of the 2yo and keep my fingers crossed that that will be enough to allow us to remain at peace in the group.

[megs4413]

That's a very interesting perspective. I have wondered for awhile now if their DD had some kind of behavioral or social problem. It just doesn't seem like some of the 2yo's behavior could be explained any other way. It is truly incomprehensible at times. I think the hard thing for me is, that my friend (2yo's mother) is very passive and quiet and really doesn't do much disciplining at all with her children. She is also really in over her head IMO with her crew. She is a WAHM of two who are 25 and 9 mos old. It's A LOT to handle and I think she feels exasperated and out of control most of the time. The normal response from her when 2yo acts out in this way is just a simple "NO!" and a BIIIIIG sigh....I think she could really use some help.

UNFORTUNATELY--this friend is one of those people who doesn't take kindly to constructive criticism...or even advice really....she always feels "attacked" and "like a bad mother". Here is an example, I was explaining to a couple moms in the group (including this woman) that ready to feed formula has to be refrigerated once it is opened and needs to be used within 72 hours (i know it's crazy that they didn't know this and had been feeding their children UNREFRIGERATED OLD FORMULA!!!!!!!!!!!). I felt I did it in a nice, tactful way but apparently not. This woman said, "well i guess i'm a bad mother." I was like...no..i'm not saying that...it's just that it's on the bottle....clearly your child is fine....i dont' know why they tell you to do it that way, they just do..." so on and so forth trying to calm her. Honestly i don't think there's a way to approach this situation with her DD that won't seem confrontational to her. And to put it bluntly....I AM CONFRONTATIONAL. I often think I am being gentle and tactful, when in reality I sound like a....witch....I think I will try to steer DD clear of the 2yo and keep my fingers crossed that that will be enough to allow us to remain at peace in the group.

[megs4413]

That's a very interesting perspective. I have wondered for awhile now if their DD had some kind of behavioral or social problem. It just doesn't seem like some of the 2yo's behavior could be explained any other way. It is truly incomprehensible at times. I think the hard thing for me is, that my friend (2yo's mother) is very passive and quiet and really doesn't do much disciplining at all with her children. She is also really in over her head IMO with her crew. She is a WAHM of two who are 25 and 9 mos old. It's A LOT to handle and I think she feels exasperated and out of control most of the time. The normal response from her when 2yo acts out in this way is just a simple "NO!" and a BIIIIIG sigh....I think she could really use some help.

UNFORTUNATELY--this friend is one of those people who doesn't take kindly to constructive criticism...or even advice really....she always feels "attacked" and "like a bad mother". Here is an example, I was explaining to a couple moms in the group (including this woman) that ready to feed formula has to be refrigerated once it is opened and needs to be used within 72 hours (i know it's crazy that they didn't know this and had been feeding their children UNREFRIGERATED OLD FORMULA!!!!!!!!!!!). I felt I did it in a nice, tactful way but apparently not. This woman said, "well i guess i'm a bad mother." I was like...no..i'm not saying that...it's just that it's on the bottle....clearly your child is fine....i dont' know why they tell you to do it that way, they just do..." so on and so forth trying to calm her. Honestly i don't think there's a way to approach this situation with her DD that won't seem confrontational to her. And to put it bluntly....I AM CONFRONTATIONAL. I often think I am being gentle and tactful, when in reality I sound like a....witch....I think I will try to steer DD clear of the 2yo and keep my fingers crossed that that will be enough to allow us to remain at peace in the group.

[megs4413]

That's a very interesting perspective. I have wondered for awhile now if their DD had some kind of behavioral or social problem. It just doesn't seem like some of the 2yo's behavior could be explained any other way. It is truly incomprehensible at times. I think the hard thing for me is, that my friend (2yo's mother) is very passive and quiet and really doesn't do much disciplining at all with her children. She is also really in over her head IMO with her crew. She is a WAHM of two who are 25 and 9 mos old. It's A LOT to handle and I think she feels exasperated and out of control most of the time. The normal response from her when 2yo acts out in this way is just a simple "NO!" and a BIIIIIG sigh....I think she could really use some help.

UNFORTUNATELY--this friend is one of those people who doesn't take kindly to constructive criticism...or even advice really....she always feels "attacked" and "like a bad mother". Here is an example, I was explaining to a couple moms in the group (including this woman) that ready to feed formula has to be refrigerated once it is opened and needs to be used within 72 hours (i know it's crazy that they didn't know this and had been feeding their children UNREFRIGERATED OLD FORMULA!!!!!!!!!!!). I felt I did it in a nice, tactful way but apparently not. This woman said, "well i guess i'm a bad mother." I was like...no..i'm not saying that...it's just that it's on the bottle....clearly your child is fine....i dont' know why they tell you to do it that way, they just do..." so on and so forth trying to calm her. Honestly i don't think there's a way to approach this situation with her DD that won't seem confrontational to her. And to put it bluntly....I AM CONFRONTATIONAL. I often think I am being gentle and tactful, when in reality I sound like a....witch....I think I will try to steer DD clear of the 2yo and keep my fingers crossed that that will be enough to allow us to remain at peace in the group.

[megs4413]

That's a very interesting perspective. I have wondered for awhile now if their DD had some kind of behavioral or social problem. It just doesn't seem like some of the 2yo's behavior could be explained any other way. It is truly incomprehensible at times. I think the hard thing for me is, that my friend (2yo's mother) is very passive and quiet and really doesn't do much disciplining at all with her children. She is also really in over her head IMO with her crew. She is a WAHM of two who are 25 and 9 mos old. It's A LOT to handle and I think she feels exasperated and out of control most of the time. The normal response from her when 2yo acts out in this way is just a simple "NO!" and a BIIIIIG sigh....I think she could really use some help.

UNFORTUNATELY--this friend is one of those people who doesn't take kindly to constructive criticism...or even advice really....she always feels "attacked" and "like a bad mother". Here is an example, I was explaining to a couple moms in the group (including this woman) that ready to feed formula has to be refrigerated once it is opened and needs to be used within 72 hours (i know it's crazy that they didn't know this and had been feeding their children UNREFRIGERATED OLD FORMULA!!!!!!!!!!!). I felt I did it in a nice, tactful way but apparently not. This woman said, "well i guess i'm a bad mother." I was like...no..i'm not saying that...it's just that it's on the bottle....clearly your child is fine....i dont' know why they tell you to do it that way, they just do..." so on and so forth trying to calm her. Honestly i don't think there's a way to approach this situation with her DD that won't seem confrontational to her. And to put it bluntly....I AM CONFRONTATIONAL. I often think I am being gentle and tactful, when in reality I sound like a....witch....I think I will try to steer DD clear of the 2yo and keep my fingers crossed that that will be enough to allow us to remain at peace in the group.

[megs4413]

That's a very interesting perspective. I have wondered for awhile now if their DD had some kind of behavioral or social problem. It just doesn't seem like some of the 2yo's behavior could be explained any other way. It is truly incomprehensible at times. I think the hard thing for me is, that my friend (2yo's mother) is very passive and quiet and really doesn't do much disciplining at all with her children. She is also really in over her head IMO with her crew. She is a WAHM of two who are 25 and 9 mos old. It's A LOT to handle and I think she feels exasperated and out of control most of the time. The normal response from her when 2yo acts out in this way is just a simple "NO!" and a BIIIIIG sigh....I think she could really use some help.

UNFORTUNATELY--this friend is one of those people who doesn't take kindly to constructive criticism...or even advice really....she always feels "attacked" and "like a bad mother". Here is an example, I was explaining to a couple moms in the group (including this woman) that ready to feed formula has to be refrigerated once it is opened and needs to be used within 72 hours (i know it's crazy that they didn't know this and had been feeding their children UNREFRIGERATED OLD FORMULA!!!!!!!!!!!). I felt I did it in a nice, tactful way but apparently not. This woman said, "well i guess i'm a bad mother." I was like...no..i'm not saying that...it's just that it's on the bottle....clearly your child is fine....i dont' know why they tell you to do it that way, they just do..." so on and so forth trying to calm her. Honestly i don't think there's a way to approach this situation with her DD that won't seem confrontational to her. And to put it bluntly....I AM CONFRONTATIONAL. I often think I am being gentle and tactful, when in reality I sound like a....witch....I think I will try to steer DD clear of the 2yo and keep my fingers crossed that that will be enough to allow us to remain at peace in the group.

[C99]

I understand that it's frustrating when your child is the target of what seems like bullying. But I don't think that are being entirely fair in your judgments of your friend or your friend's children's behavior. Have you ever heard the saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? You only have 1 15-m/o DD and not multiple children, so you have no idea what it's like to be her or to go through what she's going through. 2-y/os are rarely capable of understanding the concept of sharing. They just aren't. It's totally normal for them to grab toys away or be territorial with toys, or treat smaller people with what seems like meanness. Also, it's rough when you have a younger sibling close in age, stealing away the parents' attention. The 9-m/o is probably crawling and getting into his/her older sibling's stuff, which annoys him/her. It's normal that she'd act out against her sibling (and smaller kids that remind her of her sibling). In my playgroup, all of the kids w/ younger siblings went through some periods of acting-out when the brother/sister arrived on the scene, and again when the younger sibling started crawling/walking. W/ one exception (who later left the group), we all accepted that the kids were acting out because of the sibling/parent thing and waited for it to pass. I can tell you from personal experience that it IS exasperating to correct your child 8 million times in front of your friends when all you really want is to enjoy a cup of coffee and a chat.

If you want to help your friend, then help her. You can do this by offering to take either one of her children for a couple of hours to give her a break, or offering to go out with her one night for coffee after the kids are in bed, or any other thing you can do that addresses her as a person, not her as a parent. The LAST thing she needs is parenting advice/judgment from someone who hasn't BTDT.

[C99]

I understand that it's frustrating when your child is the target of what seems like bullying. But I don't think that are being entirely fair in your judgments of your friend or your friend's children's behavior. Have you ever heard the saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? You only have 1 15-m/o DD and not multiple children, so you have no idea what it's like to be her or to go through what she's going through. 2-y/os are rarely capable of understanding the concept of sharing. They just aren't. It's totally normal for them to grab toys away or be territorial with toys, or treat smaller people with what seems like meanness. Also, it's rough when you have a younger sibling close in age, stealing away the parents' attention. The 9-m/o is probably crawling and getting into his/her older sibling's stuff, which annoys him/her. It's normal that she'd act out against her sibling (and smaller kids that remind her of her sibling). In my playgroup, all of the kids w/ younger siblings went through some periods of acting-out when the brother/sister arrived on the scene, and again when the younger sibling started crawling/walking. W/ one exception (who later left the group), we all accepted that the kids were acting out because of the sibling/parent thing and waited for it to pass. I can tell you from personal experience that it IS exasperating to correct your child 8 million times in front of your friends when all you really want is to enjoy a cup of coffee and a chat.

If you want to help your friend, then help her. You can do this by offering to take either one of her children for a couple of hours to give her a break, or offering to go out with her one night for coffee after the kids are in bed, or any other thing you can do that addresses her as a person, not her as a parent. The LAST thing she needs is parenting advice/judgment from someone who hasn't BTDT.

[C99]

I understand that it's frustrating when your child is the target of what seems like bullying. But I don't think that are being entirely fair in your judgments of your friend or your friend's children's behavior. Have you ever heard the saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? You only have 1 15-m/o DD and not multiple children, so you have no idea what it's like to be her or to go through what she's going through. 2-y/os are rarely capable of understanding the concept of sharing. They just aren't. It's totally normal for them to grab toys away or be territorial with toys, or treat smaller people with what seems like meanness. Also, it's rough when you have a younger sibling close in age, stealing away the parents' attention. The 9-m/o is probably crawling and getting into his/her older sibling's stuff, which annoys him/her. It's normal that she'd act out against her sibling (and smaller kids that remind her of her sibling). In my playgroup, all of the kids w/ younger siblings went through some periods of acting-out when the brother/sister arrived on the scene, and again when the younger sibling started crawling/walking. W/ one exception (who later left the group), we all accepted that the kids were acting out because of the sibling/parent thing and waited for it to pass. I can tell you from personal experience that it IS exasperating to correct your child 8 million times in front of your friends when all you really want is to enjoy a cup of coffee and a chat.

If you want to help your friend, then help her. You can do this by offering to take either one of her children for a couple of hours to give her a break, or offering to go out with her one night for coffee after the kids are in bed, or any other thing you can do that addresses her as a person, not her as a parent. The LAST thing she needs is parenting advice/judgment from someone who hasn't BTDT.

[C99]

I understand that it's frustrating when your child is the target of what seems like bullying. But I don't think that are being entirely fair in your judgments of your friend or your friend's children's behavior. Have you ever heard the saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? You only have 1 15-m/o DD and not multiple children, so you have no idea what it's like to be her or to go through what she's going through. 2-y/os are rarely capable of understanding the concept of sharing. They just aren't. It's totally normal for them to grab toys away or be territorial with toys, or treat smaller people with what seems like meanness. Also, it's rough when you have a younger sibling close in age, stealing away the parents' attention. The 9-m/o is probably crawling and getting into his/her older sibling's stuff, which annoys him/her. It's normal that she'd act out against her sibling (and smaller kids that remind her of her sibling). In my playgroup, all of the kids w/ younger siblings went through some periods of acting-out when the brother/sister arrived on the scene, and again when the younger sibling started crawling/walking. W/ one exception (who later left the group), we all accepted that the kids were acting out because of the sibling/parent thing and waited for it to pass. I can tell you from personal experience that it IS exasperating to correct your child 8 million times in front of your friends when all you really want is to enjoy a cup of coffee and a chat.

If you want to help your friend, then help her. You can do this by offering to take either one of her children for a couple of hours to give her a break, or offering to go out with her one night for coffee after the kids are in bed, or any other thing you can do that addresses her as a person, not her as a parent. The LAST thing she needs is parenting advice/judgment from someone who hasn't BTDT.

[C99]

I understand that it's frustrating when your child is the target of what seems like bullying. But I don't think that are being entirely fair in your judgments of your friend or your friend's children's behavior. Have you ever heard the saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? You only have 1 15-m/o DD and not multiple children, so you have no idea what it's like to be her or to go through what she's going through. 2-y/os are rarely capable of understanding the concept of sharing. They just aren't. It's totally normal for them to grab toys away or be territorial with toys, or treat smaller people with what seems like meanness. Also, it's rough when you have a younger sibling close in age, stealing away the parents' attention. The 9-m/o is probably crawling and getting into his/her older sibling's stuff, which annoys him/her. It's normal that she'd act out against her sibling (and smaller kids that remind her of her sibling). In my playgroup, all of the kids w/ younger siblings went through some periods of acting-out when the brother/sister arrived on the scene, and again when the younger sibling started crawling/walking. W/ one exception (who later left the group), we all accepted that the kids were acting out because of the sibling/parent thing and waited for it to pass. I can tell you from personal experience that it IS exasperating to correct your child 8 million times in front of your friends when all you really want is to enjoy a cup of coffee and a chat.

If you want to help your friend, then help her. You can do this by offering to take either one of her children for a couple of hours to give her a break, or offering to go out with her one night for coffee after the kids are in bed, or any other thing you can do that addresses her as a person, not her as a parent. The LAST thing she needs is parenting advice/judgment from someone who hasn't BTDT.

[C99]

I understand that it's frustrating when your child is the target of what seems like bullying. But I don't think that are being entirely fair in your judgments of your friend or your friend's children's behavior. Have you ever heard the saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? You only have 1 15-m/o DD and not multiple children, so you have no idea what it's like to be her or to go through what she's going through. 2-y/os are rarely capable of understanding the concept of sharing. They just aren't. It's totally normal for them to grab toys away or be territorial with toys, or treat smaller people with what seems like meanness. Also, it's rough when you have a younger sibling close in age, stealing away the parents' attention. The 9-m/o is probably crawling and getting into his/her older sibling's stuff, which annoys him/her. It's normal that she'd act out against her sibling (and smaller kids that remind her of her sibling). In my playgroup, all of the kids w/ younger siblings went through some periods of acting-out when the brother/sister arrived on the scene, and again when the younger sibling started crawling/walking. W/ one exception (who later left the group), we all accepted that the kids were acting out because of the sibling/parent thing and waited for it to pass. I can tell you from personal experience that it IS exasperating to correct your child 8 million times in front of your friends when all you really want is to enjoy a cup of coffee and a chat.

If you want to help your friend, then help her. You can do this by offering to take either one of her children for a couple of hours to give her a break, or offering to go out with her one night for coffee after the kids are in bed, or any other thing you can do that addresses her as a person, not her as a parent. The LAST thing she needs is parenting advice/judgment from someone who hasn't BTDT.

[C99]

I understand that it's frustrating when your child is the target of what seems like bullying. But I don't think that are being entirely fair in your judgments of your friend or your friend's children's behavior. Have you ever heard the saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? You only have 1 15-m/o DD and not multiple children, so you have no idea what it's like to be her or to go through what she's going through. 2-y/os are rarely capable of understanding the concept of sharing. They just aren't. It's totally normal for them to grab toys away or be territorial with toys, or treat smaller people with what seems like meanness. Also, it's rough when you have a younger sibling close in age, stealing away the parents' attention. The 9-m/o is probably crawling and getting into his/her older sibling's stuff, which annoys him/her. It's normal that she'd act out against her sibling (and smaller kids that remind her of her sibling). In my playgroup, all of the kids w/ younger siblings went through some periods of acting-out when the brother/sister arrived on the scene, and again when the younger sibling started crawling/walking. W/ one exception (who later left the group), we all accepted that the kids were acting out because of the sibling/parent thing and waited for it to pass. I can tell you from personal experience that it IS exasperating to correct your child 8 million times in front of your friends when all you really want is to enjoy a cup of coffee and a chat.

If you want to help your friend, then help her. You can do this by offering to take either one of her children for a couple of hours to give her a break, or offering to go out with her one night for coffee after the kids are in bed, or any other thing you can do that addresses her as a person, not her as a parent. The LAST thing she needs is parenting advice/judgment from someone who hasn't BTDT.

[C99]

I understand that it's frustrating when your child is the target of what seems like bullying. But I don't think that are being entirely fair in your judgments of your friend or your friend's children's behavior. Have you ever heard the saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? You only have 1 15-m/o DD and not multiple children, so you have no idea what it's like to be her or to go through what she's going through. 2-y/os are rarely capable of understanding the concept of sharing. They just aren't. It's totally normal for them to grab toys away or be territorial with toys, or treat smaller people with what seems like meanness. Also, it's rough when you have a younger sibling close in age, stealing away the parents' attention. The 9-m/o is probably crawling and getting into his/her older sibling's stuff, which annoys him/her. It's normal that she'd act out against her sibling (and smaller kids that remind her of her sibling). In my playgroup, all of the kids w/ younger siblings went through some periods of acting-out when the brother/sister arrived on the scene, and again when the younger sibling started crawling/walking. W/ one exception (who later left the group), we all accepted that the kids were acting out because of the sibling/parent thing and waited for it to pass. I can tell you from personal experience that it IS exasperating to correct your child 8 million times in front of your friends when all you really want is to enjoy a cup of coffee and a chat.

If you want to help your friend, then help her. You can do this by offering to take either one of her children for a couple of hours to give her a break, or offering to go out with her one night for coffee after the kids are in bed, or any other thing you can do that addresses her as a person, not her as a parent. The LAST thing she needs is parenting advice/judgment from someone who hasn't BTDT.

[C99]

I understand that it's frustrating when your child is the target of what seems like bullying. But I don't think that are being entirely fair in your judgments of your friend or your friend's children's behavior. Have you ever heard the saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? You only have 1 15-m/o DD and not multiple children, so you have no idea what it's like to be her or to go through what she's going through. 2-y/os are rarely capable of understanding the concept of sharing. They just aren't. It's totally normal for them to grab toys away or be territorial with toys, or treat smaller people with what seems like meanness. Also, it's rough when you have a younger sibling close in age, stealing away the parents' attention. The 9-m/o is probably crawling and getting into his/her older sibling's stuff, which annoys him/her. It's normal that she'd act out against her sibling (and smaller kids that remind her of her sibling). In my playgroup, all of the kids w/ younger siblings went through some periods of acting-out when the brother/sister arrived on the scene, and again when the younger sibling started crawling/walking. W/ one exception (who later left the group), we all accepted that the kids were acting out because of the sibling/parent thing and waited for it to pass. I can tell you from personal experience that it IS exasperating to correct your child 8 million times in front of your friends when all you really want is to enjoy a cup of coffee and a chat.

If you want to help your friend, then help her. You can do this by offering to take either one of her children for a couple of hours to give her a break, or offering to go out with her one night for coffee after the kids are in bed, or any other thing you can do that addresses her as a person, not her as a parent. The LAST thing she needs is parenting advice/judgment from someone who hasn't BTDT.

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm sorry that the 2 year old was playing rather rough with your daughter. Do you think it's a possibility that she left because she was embarrassed of her daughter's behavior. It sounds like your friend may need some support. I know that when my daughter turned two (and then again at three) her behavior just took a turn for the worse for a little while before she was back to her normal self.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Bunny to come Feb. 2007

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm sorry that the 2 year old was playing rather rough with your daughter. Do you think it's a possibility that she left because she was embarrassed of her daughter's behavior. It sounds like your friend may need some support. I know that when my daughter turned two (and then again at three) her behavior just took a turn for the worse for a little while before she was back to her normal self.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Bunny to come Feb. 2007

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm sorry that the 2 year old was playing rather rough with your daughter. Do you think it's a possibility that she left because she was embarrassed of her daughter's behavior. It sounds like your friend may need some support. I know that when my daughter turned two (and then again at three) her behavior just took a turn for the worse for a little while before she was back to her normal self.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Bunny to come Feb. 2007

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm sorry that the 2 year old was playing rather rough with your daughter. Do you think it's a possibility that she left because she was embarrassed of her daughter's behavior. It sounds like your friend may need some support. I know that when my daughter turned two (and then again at three) her behavior just took a turn for the worse for a little while before she was back to her normal self.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Bunny to come Feb. 2007

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm sorry that the 2 year old was playing rather rough with your daughter. Do you think it's a possibility that she left because she was embarrassed of her daughter's behavior. It sounds like your friend may need some support. I know that when my daughter turned two (and then again at three) her behavior just took a turn for the worse for a little while before she was back to her normal self.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Bunny to come Feb. 2007

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm sorry that the 2 year old was playing rather rough with your daughter. Do you think it's a possibility that she left because she was embarrassed of her daughter's behavior. It sounds like your friend may need some support. I know that when my daughter turned two (and then again at three) her behavior just took a turn for the worse for a little while before she was back to her normal self.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Bunny to come Feb. 2007

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm sorry that the 2 year old was playing rather rough with your daughter. Do you think it's a possibility that she left because she was embarrassed of her daughter's behavior. It sounds like your friend may need some support. I know that when my daughter turned two (and then again at three) her behavior just took a turn for the worse for a little while before she was back to her normal self.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Bunny to come Feb. 2007

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm sorry that the 2 year old was playing rather rough with your daughter. Do you think it's a possibility that she left because she was embarrassed of her daughter's behavior. It sounds like your friend may need some support. I know that when my daughter turned two (and then again at three) her behavior just took a turn for the worse for a little while before she was back to her normal self.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Bunny to come Feb. 2007

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm sorry that the 2 year old was playing rather rough with your daughter. Do you think it's a possibility that she left because she was embarrassed of her daughter's behavior. It sounds like your friend may need some support. I know that when my daughter turned two (and then again at three) her behavior just took a turn for the worse for a little while before she was back to her normal self.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Bunny to come Feb. 2007

[megs4413]

Oh I completely agree that it's normal for a 2yo to not be into the idea of "sharing". I don't have unrealistic expecatations for this 2yo's behavior.

I agree that my friend does need help. We actually watched both of her children at our last mommy time. She dropped them off and left for two hours while we had mommy time and "team" watched her kids. I've watched the older daughter several times and her in laws recently had the both of them for two weeks. We as a group definitely step in and help eachother out when one of us needs a break.

For the record, I haven't given this woman any advice besides telling her that premade formula has to be refrigerated. I think I was well within my boundaries in telling her that. I was concerned about the health of her children.

And furthermore it was never my intention in this post to find a way to help my friend. My number one concern is the safety of my child and if you had seen the bruises and scratches that my DD was left with after an afternoon with this 2yo, you would be concerned about it as well. I think you've underestimated the gravity of the situation. I am talking about actual physical attacks that result in injuries...not little pushes and shoves over a toy.

After reading some of the PPs, however, I agree that "bullying" is probably too strong a term to have in the subject line of the thread. It certainly is not the 2yo's intention to "bully" the other children. I am actually more convinced than ever that it is highly likely that she has a behavior/social disorder like proximity disorder and I am not a doctor so I will not diagnose her or run and tell her mother that I've "solved" the problem. I will let her be her as long as it doesn't hurt my DD.

It seems that you,too, should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them. It's a pretty hypocritical thing to judge someone for judging someone else. FWIW, you've never walked a mile in my shoes and even though I "only have a 15 mos old"...i have plenty to deal with on my own. Women who raise children that are 2 under 2 or 3 under 3..so on...deserve medals of HONOR! It's unbelievably hard and I understand that. I think you missed the point of my posts. I am writing from my perspective, not hers. I don't want to become more understanding about her plight...trust me her plight is the very reason I shied away from having mine as close as I originally wanted.....I wanted to know how to protect my child and still be a part of the group---AND save the feelings of my friend. I really have no idea why you found my thread so objectionable.

[megs4413]

Oh I completely agree that it's normal for a 2yo to not be into the idea of "sharing". I don't have unrealistic expecatations for this 2yo's behavior.

I agree that my friend does need help. We actually watched both of her children at our last mommy time. She dropped them off and left for two hours while we had mommy time and "team" watched her kids. I've watched the older daughter several times and her in laws recently had the both of them for two weeks. We as a group definitely step in and help eachother out when one of us needs a break.

For the record, I haven't given this woman any advice besides telling her that premade formula has to be refrigerated. I think I was well within my boundaries in telling her that. I was concerned about the health of her children.

And furthermore it was never my intention in this post to find a way to help my friend. My number one concern is the safety of my child and if you had seen the bruises and scratches that my DD was left with after an afternoon with this 2yo, you would be concerned about it as well. I think you've underestimated the gravity of the situation. I am talking about actual physical attacks that result in injuries...not little pushes and shoves over a toy.

After reading some of the PPs, however, I agree that "bullying" is probably too strong a term to have in the subject line of the thread. It certainly is not the 2yo's intention to "bully" the other children. I am actually more convinced than ever that it is highly likely that she has a behavior/social disorder like proximity disorder and I am not a doctor so I will not diagnose her or run and tell her mother that I've "solved" the problem. I will let her be her as long as it doesn't hurt my DD.

It seems that you,too, should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them. It's a pretty hypocritical thing to judge someone for judging someone else. FWIW, you've never walked a mile in my shoes and even though I "only have a 15 mos old"...i have plenty to deal with on my own. Women who raise children that are 2 under 2 or 3 under 3..so on...deserve medals of HONOR! It's unbelievably hard and I understand that. I think you missed the point of my posts. I am writing from my perspective, not hers. I don't want to become more understanding about her plight...trust me her plight is the very reason I shied away from having mine as close as I originally wanted.....I wanted to know how to protect my child and still be a part of the group---AND save the feelings of my friend. I really have no idea why you found my thread so objectionable.

[megs4413]

Oh I completely agree that it's normal for a 2yo to not be into the idea of "sharing". I don't have unrealistic expecatations for this 2yo's behavior.

I agree that my friend does need help. We actually watched both of her children at our last mommy time. She dropped them off and left for two hours while we had mommy time and "team" watched her kids. I've watched the older daughter several times and her in laws recently had the both of them for two weeks. We as a group definitely step in and help eachother out when one of us needs a break.

For the record, I haven't given this woman any advice besides telling her that premade formula has to be refrigerated. I think I was well within my boundaries in telling her that. I was concerned about the health of her children.

And furthermore it was never my intention in this post to find a way to help my friend. My number one concern is the safety of my child and if you had seen the bruises and scratches that my DD was left with after an afternoon with this 2yo, you would be concerned about it as well. I think you've underestimated the gravity of the situation. I am talking about actual physical attacks that result in injuries...not little pushes and shoves over a toy.

After reading some of the PPs, however, I agree that "bullying" is probably too strong a term to have in the subject line of the thread. It certainly is not the 2yo's intention to "bully" the other children. I am actually more convinced than ever that it is highly likely that she has a behavior/social disorder like proximity disorder and I am not a doctor so I will not diagnose her or run and tell her mother that I've "solved" the problem. I will let her be her as long as it doesn't hurt my DD.

It seems that you,too, should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them. It's a pretty hypocritical thing to judge someone for judging someone else. FWIW, you've never walked a mile in my shoes and even though I "only have a 15 mos old"...i have plenty to deal with on my own. Women who raise children that are 2 under 2 or 3 under 3..so on...deserve medals of HONOR! It's unbelievably hard and I understand that. I think you missed the point of my posts. I am writing from my perspective, not hers. I don't want to become more understanding about her plight...trust me her plight is the very reason I shied away from having mine as close as I originally wanted.....I wanted to know how to protect my child and still be a part of the group---AND save the feelings of my friend. I really have no idea why you found my thread so objectionable.

[megs4413]

Oh I completely agree that it's normal for a 2yo to not be into the idea of "sharing". I don't have unrealistic expecatations for this 2yo's behavior.

I agree that my friend does need help. We actually watched both of her children at our last mommy time. She dropped them off and left for two hours while we had mommy time and "team" watched her kids. I've watched the older daughter several times and her in laws recently had the both of them for two weeks. We as a group definitely step in and help eachother out when one of us needs a break.

For the record, I haven't given this woman any advice besides telling her that premade formula has to be refrigerated. I think I was well within my boundaries in telling her that. I was concerned about the health of her children.

And furthermore it was never my intention in this post to find a way to help my friend. My number one concern is the safety of my child and if you had seen the bruises and scratches that my DD was left with after an afternoon with this 2yo, you would be concerned about it as well. I think you've underestimated the gravity of the situation. I am talking about actual physical attacks that result in injuries...not little pushes and shoves over a toy.

After reading some of the PPs, however, I agree that "bullying" is probably too strong a term to have in the subject line of the thread. It certainly is not the 2yo's intention to "bully" the other children. I am actually more convinced than ever that it is highly likely that she has a behavior/social disorder like proximity disorder and I am not a doctor so I will not diagnose her or run and tell her mother that I've "solved" the problem. I will let her be her as long as it doesn't hurt my DD.

It seems that you,too, should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them. It's a pretty hypocritical thing to judge someone for judging someone else. FWIW, you've never walked a mile in my shoes and even though I "only have a 15 mos old"...i have plenty to deal with on my own. Women who raise children that are 2 under 2 or 3 under 3..so on...deserve medals of HONOR! It's unbelievably hard and I understand that. I think you missed the point of my posts. I am writing from my perspective, not hers. I don't want to become more understanding about her plight...trust me her plight is the very reason I shied away from having mine as close as I originally wanted.....I wanted to know how to protect my child and still be a part of the group---AND save the feelings of my friend. I really have no idea why you found my thread so objectionable.

[megs4413]

Oh I completely agree that it's normal for a 2yo to not be into the idea of "sharing". I don't have unrealistic expecatations for this 2yo's behavior.

I agree that my friend does need help. We actually watched both of her children at our last mommy time. She dropped them off and left for two hours while we had mommy time and "team" watched her kids. I've watched the older daughter several times and her in laws recently had the both of them for two weeks. We as a group definitely step in and help eachother out when one of us needs a break.

For the record, I haven't given this woman any advice besides telling her that premade formula has to be refrigerated. I think I was well within my boundaries in telling her that. I was concerned about the health of her children.

And furthermore it was never my intention in this post to find a way to help my friend. My number one concern is the safety of my child and if you had seen the bruises and scratches that my DD was left with after an afternoon with this 2yo, you would be concerned about it as well. I think you've underestimated the gravity of the situation. I am talking about actual physical attacks that result in injuries...not little pushes and shoves over a toy.

After reading some of the PPs, however, I agree that "bullying" is probably too strong a term to have in the subject line of the thread. It certainly is not the 2yo's intention to "bully" the other children. I am actually more convinced than ever that it is highly likely that she has a behavior/social disorder like proximity disorder and I am not a doctor so I will not diagnose her or run and tell her mother that I've "solved" the problem. I will let her be her as long as it doesn't hurt my DD.

It seems that you,too, should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them. It's a pretty hypocritical thing to judge someone for judging someone else. FWIW, you've never walked a mile in my shoes and even though I "only have a 15 mos old"...i have plenty to deal with on my own. Women who raise children that are 2 under 2 or 3 under 3..so on...deserve medals of HONOR! It's unbelievably hard and I understand that. I think you missed the point of my posts. I am writing from my perspective, not hers. I don't want to become more understanding about her plight...trust me her plight is the very reason I shied away from having mine as close as I originally wanted.....I wanted to know how to protect my child and still be a part of the group---AND save the feelings of my friend. I really have no idea why you found my thread so objectionable.

[megs4413]

Oh I completely agree that it's normal for a 2yo to not be into the idea of "sharing". I don't have unrealistic expecatations for this 2yo's behavior.

I agree that my friend does need help. We actually watched both of her children at our last mommy time. She dropped them off and left for two hours while we had mommy time and "team" watched her kids. I've watched the older daughter several times and her in laws recently had the both of them for two weeks. We as a group definitely step in and help eachother out when one of us needs a break.

For the record, I haven't given this woman any advice besides telling her that premade formula has to be refrigerated. I think I was well within my boundaries in telling her that. I was concerned about the health of her children.

And furthermore it was never my intention in this post to find a way to help my friend. My number one concern is the safety of my child and if you had seen the bruises and scratches that my DD was left with after an afternoon with this 2yo, you would be concerned about it as well. I think you've underestimated the gravity of the situation. I am talking about actual physical attacks that result in injuries...not little pushes and shoves over a toy.

After reading some of the PPs, however, I agree that "bullying" is probably too strong a term to have in the subject line of the thread. It certainly is not the 2yo's intention to "bully" the other children. I am actually more convinced than ever that it is highly likely that she has a behavior/social disorder like proximity disorder and I am not a doctor so I will not diagnose her or run and tell her mother that I've "solved" the problem. I will let her be her as long as it doesn't hurt my DD.

It seems that you,too, should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them. It's a pretty hypocritical thing to judge someone for judging someone else. FWIW, you've never walked a mile in my shoes and even though I "only have a 15 mos old"...i have plenty to deal with on my own. Women who raise children that are 2 under 2 or 3 under 3..so on...deserve medals of HONOR! It's unbelievably hard and I understand that. I think you missed the point of my posts. I am writing from my perspective, not hers. I don't want to become more understanding about her plight...trust me her plight is the very reason I shied away from having mine as close as I originally wanted.....I wanted to know how to protect my child and still be a part of the group---AND save the feelings of my friend. I really have no idea why you found my thread so objectionable.

[megs4413]

Oh I completely agree that it's normal for a 2yo to not be into the idea of "sharing". I don't have unrealistic expecatations for this 2yo's behavior.

I agree that my friend does need help. We actually watched both of her children at our last mommy time. She dropped them off and left for two hours while we had mommy time and "team" watched her kids. I've watched the older daughter several times and her in laws recently had the both of them for two weeks. We as a group definitely step in and help eachother out when one of us needs a break.

For the record, I haven't given this woman any advice besides telling her that premade formula has to be refrigerated. I think I was well within my boundaries in telling her that. I was concerned about the health of her children.

And furthermore it was never my intention in this post to find a way to help my friend. My number one concern is the safety of my child and if you had seen the bruises and scratches that my DD was left with after an afternoon with this 2yo, you would be concerned about it as well. I think you've underestimated the gravity of the situation. I am talking about actual physical attacks that result in injuries...not little pushes and shoves over a toy.

After reading some of the PPs, however, I agree that "bullying" is probably too strong a term to have in the subject line of the thread. It certainly is not the 2yo's intention to "bully" the other children. I am actually more convinced than ever that it is highly likely that she has a behavior/social disorder like proximity disorder and I am not a doctor so I will not diagnose her or run and tell her mother that I've "solved" the problem. I will let her be her as long as it doesn't hurt my DD.

It seems that you,too, should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them. It's a pretty hypocritical thing to judge someone for judging someone else. FWIW, you've never walked a mile in my shoes and even though I "only have a 15 mos old"...i have plenty to deal with on my own. Women who raise children that are 2 under 2 or 3 under 3..so on...deserve medals of HONOR! It's unbelievably hard and I understand that. I think you missed the point of my posts. I am writing from my perspective, not hers. I don't want to become more understanding about her plight...trust me her plight is the very reason I shied away from having mine as close as I originally wanted.....I wanted to know how to protect my child and still be a part of the group---AND save the feelings of my friend. I really have no idea why you found my thread so objectionable.

[megs4413]

Oh I completely agree that it's normal for a 2yo to not be into the idea of "sharing". I don't have unrealistic expecatations for this 2yo's behavior.

I agree that my friend does need help. We actually watched both of her children at our last mommy time. She dropped them off and left for two hours while we had mommy time and "team" watched her kids. I've watched the older daughter several times and her in laws recently had the both of them for two weeks. We as a group definitely step in and help eachother out when one of us needs a break.

For the record, I haven't given this woman any advice besides telling her that premade formula has to be refrigerated. I think I was well within my boundaries in telling her that. I was concerned about the health of her children.

And furthermore it was never my intention in this post to find a way to help my friend. My number one concern is the safety of my child and if you had seen the bruises and scratches that my DD was left with after an afternoon with this 2yo, you would be concerned about it as well. I think you've underestimated the gravity of the situation. I am talking about actual physical attacks that result in injuries...not little pushes and shoves over a toy.

After reading some of the PPs, however, I agree that "bullying" is probably too strong a term to have in the subject line of the thread. It certainly is not the 2yo's intention to "bully" the other children. I am actually more convinced than ever that it is highly likely that she has a behavior/social disorder like proximity disorder and I am not a doctor so I will not diagnose her or run and tell her mother that I've "solved" the problem. I will let her be her as long as it doesn't hurt my DD.

It seems that you,too, should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them. It's a pretty hypocritical thing to judge someone for judging someone else. FWIW, you've never walked a mile in my shoes and even though I "only have a 15 mos old"...i have plenty to deal with on my own. Women who raise children that are 2 under 2 or 3 under 3..so on...deserve medals of HONOR! It's unbelievably hard and I understand that. I think you missed the point of my posts. I am writing from my perspective, not hers. I don't want to become more understanding about her plight...trust me her plight is the very reason I shied away from having mine as close as I originally wanted.....I wanted to know how to protect my child and still be a part of the group---AND save the feelings of my friend. I really have no idea why you found my thread so objectionable.

[megs4413]

Oh I completely agree that it's normal for a 2yo to not be into the idea of "sharing". I don't have unrealistic expecatations for this 2yo's behavior.

I agree that my friend does need help. We actually watched both of her children at our last mommy time. She dropped them off and left for two hours while we had mommy time and "team" watched her kids. I've watched the older daughter several times and her in laws recently had the both of them for two weeks. We as a group definitely step in and help eachother out when one of us needs a break.

For the record, I haven't given this woman any advice besides telling her that premade formula has to be refrigerated. I think I was well within my boundaries in telling her that. I was concerned about the health of her children.

And furthermore it was never my intention in this post to find a way to help my friend. My number one concern is the safety of my child and if you had seen the bruises and scratches that my DD was left with after an afternoon with this 2yo, you would be concerned about it as well. I think you've underestimated the gravity of the situation. I am talking about actual physical attacks that result in injuries...not little pushes and shoves over a toy.

After reading some of the PPs, however, I agree that "bullying" is probably too strong a term to have in the subject line of the thread. It certainly is not the 2yo's intention to "bully" the other children. I am actually more convinced than ever that it is highly likely that she has a behavior/social disorder like proximity disorder and I am not a doctor so I will not diagnose her or run and tell her mother that I've "solved" the problem. I will let her be her as long as it doesn't hurt my DD.

It seems that you,too, should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge them. It's a pretty hypocritical thing to judge someone for judging someone else. FWIW, you've never walked a mile in my shoes and even though I "only have a 15 mos old"...i have plenty to deal with on my own. Women who raise children that are 2 under 2 or 3 under 3..so on...deserve medals of HONOR! It's unbelievably hard and I understand that. I think you missed the point of my posts. I am writing from my perspective, not hers. I don't want to become more understanding about her plight...trust me her plight is the very reason I shied away from having mine as close as I originally wanted.....I wanted to know how to protect my child and still be a part of the group---AND save the feelings of my friend. I really have no idea why you found my thread so objectionable.

[bubbaray]

I don't think I would tolerate that behavior for one minute longer. That child's behavior seems waaaaay over the top to me. I've never encountered a child in any of the playgroups I've gone to with DD or in her DC either. My protective instincts would kick in and there is just no way I would expose my DD to that kind of safety hazard (which is what it sounds like to me). I think first and foremost, before you worry about your friendship with the other mom(s), you need to do what you need to do to protect your child.

I would probably take a break from the group, even try to find a different group. Or you could try to form your own splinter group, not including that mom. You've tried being patient and waiting for the other mom to step up to the plate and that isn't working from the sounds of it. If she or others ask why you are leaving, I would tell that the reason -- because of how that child bullies your DD.

Bullying is VERY serious. If you don't deal with it now, it teaches your child that it is OK for other kids to treat her like that, which its not. IMO, that is WAAAY more important than walking a mile in the other mom's shoes. Society has tolerated bullying for FAR too long. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop at the toddler age. It is never acceptable and we need to instill that message even in the very young.

JMHO.

Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

I don't think I would tolerate that behavior for one minute longer. That child's behavior seems waaaaay over the top to me. I've never encountered a child in any of the playgroups I've gone to with DD or in her DC either. My protective instincts would kick in and there is just no way I would expose my DD to that kind of safety hazard (which is what it sounds like to me). I think first and foremost, before you worry about your friendship with the other mom(s), you need to do what you need to do to protect your child.

I would probably take a break from the group, even try to find a different group. Or you could try to form your own splinter group, not including that mom. You've tried being patient and waiting for the other mom to step up to the plate and that isn't working from the sounds of it. If she or others ask why you are leaving, I would tell that the reason -- because of how that child bullies your DD.

Bullying is VERY serious. If you don't deal with it now, it teaches your child that it is OK for other kids to treat her like that, which its not. IMO, that is WAAAY more important than walking a mile in the other mom's shoes. Society has tolerated bullying for FAR too long. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop at the toddler age. It is never acceptable and we need to instill that message even in the very young.

JMHO.

Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

I don't think I would tolerate that behavior for one minute longer. That child's behavior seems waaaaay over the top to me. I've never encountered a child in any of the playgroups I've gone to with DD or in her DC either. My protective instincts would kick in and there is just no way I would expose my DD to that kind of safety hazard (which is what it sounds like to me). I think first and foremost, before you worry about your friendship with the other mom(s), you need to do what you need to do to protect your child.

I would probably take a break from the group, even try to find a different group. Or you could try to form your own splinter group, not including that mom. You've tried being patient and waiting for the other mom to step up to the plate and that isn't working from the sounds of it. If she or others ask why you are leaving, I would tell that the reason -- because of how that child bullies your DD.

Bullying is VERY serious. If you don't deal with it now, it teaches your child that it is OK for other kids to treat her like that, which its not. IMO, that is WAAAY more important than walking a mile in the other mom's shoes. Society has tolerated bullying for FAR too long. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop at the toddler age. It is never acceptable and we need to instill that message even in the very young.

JMHO.

Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

I don't think I would tolerate that behavior for one minute longer. That child's behavior seems waaaaay over the top to me. I've never encountered a child in any of the playgroups I've gone to with DD or in her DC either. My protective instincts would kick in and there is just no way I would expose my DD to that kind of safety hazard (which is what it sounds like to me). I think first and foremost, before you worry about your friendship with the other mom(s), you need to do what you need to do to protect your child.

I would probably take a break from the group, even try to find a different group. Or you could try to form your own splinter group, not including that mom. You've tried being patient and waiting for the other mom to step up to the plate and that isn't working from the sounds of it. If she or others ask why you are leaving, I would tell that the reason -- because of how that child bullies your DD.

Bullying is VERY serious. If you don't deal with it now, it teaches your child that it is OK for other kids to treat her like that, which its not. IMO, that is WAAAY more important than walking a mile in the other mom's shoes. Society has tolerated bullying for FAR too long. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop at the toddler age. It is never acceptable and we need to instill that message even in the very young.

JMHO.

Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

I don't think I would tolerate that behavior for one minute longer. That child's behavior seems waaaaay over the top to me. I've never encountered a child in any of the playgroups I've gone to with DD or in her DC either. My protective instincts would kick in and there is just no way I would expose my DD to that kind of safety hazard (which is what it sounds like to me). I think first and foremost, before you worry about your friendship with the other mom(s), you need to do what you need to do to protect your child.

I would probably take a break from the group, even try to find a different group. Or you could try to form your own splinter group, not including that mom. You've tried being patient and waiting for the other mom to step up to the plate and that isn't working from the sounds of it. If she or others ask why you are leaving, I would tell that the reason -- because of how that child bullies your DD.

Bullying is VERY serious. If you don't deal with it now, it teaches your child that it is OK for other kids to treat her like that, which its not. IMO, that is WAAAY more important than walking a mile in the other mom's shoes. Society has tolerated bullying for FAR too long. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop at the toddler age. It is never acceptable and we need to instill that message even in the very young.

JMHO.

Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

I don't think I would tolerate that behavior for one minute longer. That child's behavior seems waaaaay over the top to me. I've never encountered a child in any of the playgroups I've gone to with DD or in her DC either. My protective instincts would kick in and there is just no way I would expose my DD to that kind of safety hazard (which is what it sounds like to me). I think first and foremost, before you worry about your friendship with the other mom(s), you need to do what you need to do to protect your child.

I would probably take a break from the group, even try to find a different group. Or you could try to form your own splinter group, not including that mom. You've tried being patient and waiting for the other mom to step up to the plate and that isn't working from the sounds of it. If she or others ask why you are leaving, I would tell that the reason -- because of how that child bullies your DD.

Bullying is VERY serious. If you don't deal with it now, it teaches your child that it is OK for other kids to treat her like that, which its not. IMO, that is WAAAY more important than walking a mile in the other mom's shoes. Society has tolerated bullying for FAR too long. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop at the toddler age. It is never acceptable and we need to instill that message even in the very young.

JMHO.

Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

I don't think I would tolerate that behavior for one minute longer. That child's behavior seems waaaaay over the top to me. I've never encountered a child in any of the playgroups I've gone to with DD or in her DC either. My protective instincts would kick in and there is just no way I would expose my DD to that kind of safety hazard (which is what it sounds like to me). I think first and foremost, before you worry about your friendship with the other mom(s), you need to do what you need to do to protect your child.

I would probably take a break from the group, even try to find a different group. Or you could try to form your own splinter group, not including that mom. You've tried being patient and waiting for the other mom to step up to the plate and that isn't working from the sounds of it. If she or others ask why you are leaving, I would tell that the reason -- because of how that child bullies your DD.

Bullying is VERY serious. If you don't deal with it now, it teaches your child that it is OK for other kids to treat her like that, which its not. IMO, that is WAAAY more important than walking a mile in the other mom's shoes. Society has tolerated bullying for FAR too long. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop at the toddler age. It is never acceptable and we need to instill that message even in the very young.

JMHO.

Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

I don't think I would tolerate that behavior for one minute longer. That child's behavior seems waaaaay over the top to me. I've never encountered a child in any of the playgroups I've gone to with DD or in her DC either. My protective instincts would kick in and there is just no way I would expose my DD to that kind of safety hazard (which is what it sounds like to me). I think first and foremost, before you worry about your friendship with the other mom(s), you need to do what you need to do to protect your child.

I would probably take a break from the group, even try to find a different group. Or you could try to form your own splinter group, not including that mom. You've tried being patient and waiting for the other mom to step up to the plate and that isn't working from the sounds of it. If she or others ask why you are leaving, I would tell that the reason -- because of how that child bullies your DD.

Bullying is VERY serious. If you don't deal with it now, it teaches your child that it is OK for other kids to treat her like that, which its not. IMO, that is WAAAY more important than walking a mile in the other mom's shoes. Society has tolerated bullying for FAR too long. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop at the toddler age. It is never acceptable and we need to instill that message even in the very young.

JMHO.

Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

I don't think I would tolerate that behavior for one minute longer. That child's behavior seems waaaaay over the top to me. I've never encountered a child in any of the playgroups I've gone to with DD or in her DC either. My protective instincts would kick in and there is just no way I would expose my DD to that kind of safety hazard (which is what it sounds like to me). I think first and foremost, before you worry about your friendship with the other mom(s), you need to do what you need to do to protect your child.

I would probably take a break from the group, even try to find a different group. Or you could try to form your own splinter group, not including that mom. You've tried being patient and waiting for the other mom to step up to the plate and that isn't working from the sounds of it. If she or others ask why you are leaving, I would tell that the reason -- because of how that child bullies your DD.

Bullying is VERY serious. If you don't deal with it now, it teaches your child that it is OK for other kids to treat her like that, which its not. IMO, that is WAAAY more important than walking a mile in the other mom's shoes. Society has tolerated bullying for FAR too long. It needs to stop, and it needs to stop at the toddler age. It is never acceptable and we need to instill that message even in the very young.

JMHO.

Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[mommy111]

So sorry, this is such a difficult situation. We had a similar experience at the playground, and I wanted to share the story, but I am an offbeat mom and this may well not work with you. A little boy, (I'll call him E) a regular in our little playgroup was a BIG bully and liked to pick on DD who is a good year younger (and the youngest there). E's mom never interfered when he was attcking other kids and snatching toys, saying that she liked 'gentle' discipline and did not want to cramp his creativity. It got to the point where he was following DD all over the place all the time and scaring her on purpose. It was almost to the point of stalking her one day when we met in a nearby play ground, he would leave the other kids alone, walk behind DD, push her aside when she tried to go down the slide, stand at the bottom of the slide scaring her, finally would walk right up behind her when she was doing her own thing and yell in her ear. She was getting so scared, she would cling to me all playgroup and not have any fun at all. Finally I casually told the mom, I think DD is getting too shy and doesn't stand up for herself, which is upsetting me'. The next time E walked up behind her and yelled in her ear (while she was climbing up the jungle gym, its a wonder she didn't fall), I walked up to her and said 'sweetie, no whining and crying. You need to stand up for yourself. Let me tell you, if you ever feel threatened, the thing to do is to poke your attacker in the eye with your finger.' Then I pretended practicing it with her several times in front of the mom and E. Then I left her with a 'good, now you know what to do when someone bothers you' DD didn't understand a word that I said, but that kid kept far away from DD thenceforth. DH and I had a good laugh about it that night.
Repeat with me 'Ady is a BAD MOMMY, Ady is a BAD MOMMY, ADY is a ..'

Ady

ETA: FWIW, Chris' advice sounds great to me, if this were my friend and I was not in a mean mood, I would follow her advise.

ETA2: I also agree that this child's mom must be having a horrendously hard time, beyond anything that I with just 1 toddler can understand, but it would still make me very mad that my DD or our little Maddie would feel threatened or be hurt because of someone else's bad behaviour

[mommy111]

So sorry, this is such a difficult situation. We had a similar experience at the playground, and I wanted to share the story, but I am an offbeat mom and this may well not work with you. A little boy, (I'll call him E) a regular in our little playgroup was a BIG bully and liked to pick on DD who is a good year younger (and the youngest there). E's mom never interfered when he was attcking other kids and snatching toys, saying that she liked 'gentle' discipline and did not want to cramp his creativity. It got to the point where he was following DD all over the place all the time and scaring her on purpose. It was almost to the point of stalking her one day when we met in a nearby play ground, he would leave the other kids alone, walk behind DD, push her aside when she tried to go down the slide, stand at the bottom of the slide scaring her, finally would walk right up behind her when she was doing her own thing and yell in her ear. She was getting so scared, she would cling to me all playgroup and not have any fun at all. Finally I casually told the mom, I think DD is getting too shy and doesn't stand up for herself, which is upsetting me'. The next time E walked up behind her and yelled in her ear (while she was climbing up the jungle gym, its a wonder she didn't fall), I walked up to her and said 'sweetie, no whining and crying. You need to stand up for yourself. Let me tell you, if you ever feel threatened, the thing to do is to poke your attacker in the eye with your finger.' Then I pretended practicing it with her several times in front of the mom and E. Then I left her with a 'good, now you know what to do when someone bothers you' DD didn't understand a word that I said, but that kid kept far away from DD thenceforth. DH and I had a good laugh about it that night.
Repeat with me 'Ady is a BAD MOMMY, Ady is a BAD MOMMY, ADY is a ..'

Ady

ETA: FWIW, Chris' advice sounds great to me, if this were my friend and I was not in a mean mood, I would follow her advise.

ETA2: I also agree that this child's mom must be having a horrendously hard time, beyond anything that I with just 1 toddler can understand, but it would still make me very mad that my DD or our little Maddie would feel threatened or be hurt because of someone else's bad behaviour

[mommy111]

So sorry, this is such a difficult situation. We had a similar experience at the playground, and I wanted to share the story, but I am an offbeat mom and this may well not work with you. A little boy, (I'll call him E) a regular in our little playgroup was a BIG bully and liked to pick on DD who is a good year younger (and the youngest there). E's mom never interfered when he was attcking other kids and snatching toys, saying that she liked 'gentle' discipline and did not want to cramp his creativity. It got to the point where he was following DD all over the place all the time and scaring her on purpose. It was almost to the point of stalking her one day when we met in a nearby play ground, he would leave the other kids alone, walk behind DD, push her aside when she tried to go down the slide, stand at the bottom of the slide scaring her, finally would walk right up behind her when she was doing her own thing and yell in her ear. She was getting so scared, she would cling to me all playgroup and not have any fun at all. Finally I casually told the mom, I think DD is getting too shy and doesn't stand up for herself, which is upsetting me'. The next time E walked up behind her and yelled in her ear (while she was climbing up the jungle gym, its a wonder she didn't fall), I walked up to her and said 'sweetie, no whining and crying. You need to stand up for yourself. Let me tell you, if you ever feel threatened, the thing to do is to poke your attacker in the eye with your finger.' Then I pretended practicing it with her several times in front of the mom and E. Then I left her with a 'good, now you know what to do when someone bothers you' DD didn't understand a word that I said, but that kid kept far away from DD thenceforth. DH and I had a good laugh about it that night.
Repeat with me 'Ady is a BAD MOMMY, Ady is a BAD MOMMY, ADY is a ..'

Ady

ETA: FWIW, Chris' advice sounds great to me, if this were my friend and I was not in a mean mood, I would follow her advise.

ETA2: I also agree that this child's mom must be having a horrendously hard time, beyond anything that I with just 1 toddler can understand, but it would still make me very mad that my DD or our little Maddie would feel threatened or be hurt because of someone else's bad behaviour

[mommy111]

So sorry, this is such a difficult situation. We had a similar experience at the playground, and I wanted to share the story, but I am an offbeat mom and this may well not work with you. A little boy, (I'll call him E) a regular in our little playgroup was a BIG bully and liked to pick on DD who is a good year younger (and the youngest there). E's mom never interfered when he was attcking other kids and snatching toys, saying that she liked 'gentle' discipline and did not want to cramp his creativity. It got to the point where he was following DD all over the place all the time and scaring her on purpose. It was almost to the point of stalking her one day when we met in a nearby play ground, he would leave the other kids alone, walk behind DD, push her aside when she tried to go down the slide, stand at the bottom of the slide scaring her, finally would walk right up behind her when she was doing her own thing and yell in her ear. She was getting so scared, she would cling to me all playgroup and not have any fun at all. Finally I casually told the mom, I think DD is getting too shy and doesn't stand up for herself, which is upsetting me'. The next time E walked up behind her and yelled in her ear (while she was climbing up the jungle gym, its a wonder she didn't fall), I walked up to her and said 'sweetie, no whining and crying. You need to stand up for yourself. Let me tell you, if you ever feel threatened, the thing to do is to poke your attacker in the eye with your finger.' Then I pretended practicing it with her several times in front of the mom and E. Then I left her with a 'good, now you know what to do when someone bothers you' DD didn't understand a word that I said, but that kid kept far away from DD thenceforth. DH and I had a good laugh about it that night.
Repeat with me 'Ady is a BAD MOMMY, Ady is a BAD MOMMY, ADY is a ..'

Ady

ETA: FWIW, Chris' advice sounds great to me, if this were my friend and I was not in a mean mood, I would follow her advise.

ETA2: I also agree that this child's mom must be having a horrendously hard time, beyond anything that I with just 1 toddler can understand, but it would still make me very mad that my DD or our little Maddie would feel threatened or be hurt because of someone else's bad behaviour

[mommy111]

So sorry, this is such a difficult situation. We had a similar experience at the playground, and I wanted to share the story, but I am an offbeat mom and this may well not work with you. A little boy, (I'll call him E) a regular in our little playgroup was a BIG bully and liked to pick on DD who is a good year younger (and the youngest there). E's mom never interfered when he was attcking other kids and snatching toys, saying that she liked 'gentle' discipline and did not want to cramp his creativity. It got to the point where he was following DD all over the place all the time and scaring her on purpose. It was almost to the point of stalking her one day when we met in a nearby play ground, he would leave the other kids alone, walk behind DD, push her aside when she tried to go down the slide, stand at the bottom of the slide scaring her, finally would walk right up behind her when she was doing her own thing and yell in her ear. She was getting so scared, she would cling to me all playgroup and not have any fun at all. Finally I casually told the mom, I think DD is getting too shy and doesn't stand up for herself, which is upsetting me'. The next time E walked up behind her and yelled in her ear (while she was climbing up the jungle gym, its a wonder she didn't fall), I walked up to her and said 'sweetie, no whining and crying. You need to stand up for yourself. Let me tell you, if you ever feel threatened, the thing to do is to poke your attacker in the eye with your finger.' Then I pretended practicing it with her several times in front of the mom and E. Then I left her with a 'good, now you know what to do when someone bothers you' DD didn't understand a word that I said, but that kid kept far away from DD thenceforth. DH and I had a good laugh about it that night.
Repeat with me 'Ady is a BAD MOMMY, Ady is a BAD MOMMY, ADY is a ..'

Ady

ETA: FWIW, Chris' advice sounds great to me, if this were my friend and I was not in a mean mood, I would follow her advise.

ETA2: I also agree that this child's mom must be having a horrendously hard time, beyond anything that I with just 1 toddler can understand, but it would still make me very mad that my DD or our little Maddie would feel threatened or be hurt because of someone else's bad behaviour

[mommy111]

So sorry, this is such a difficult situation. We had a similar experience at the playground, and I wanted to share the story, but I am an offbeat mom and this may well not work with you. A little boy, (I'll call him E) a regular in our little playgroup was a BIG bully and liked to pick on DD who is a good year younger (and the youngest there). E's mom never interfered when he was attcking other kids and snatching toys, saying that she liked 'gentle' discipline and did not want to cramp his creativity. It got to the point where he was following DD all over the place all the time and scaring her on purpose. It was almost to the point of stalking her one day when we met in a nearby play ground, he would leave the other kids alone, walk behind DD, push her aside when she tried to go down the slide, stand at the bottom of the slide scaring her, finally would walk right up behind her when she was doing her own thing and yell in her ear. She was getting so scared, she would cling to me all playgroup and not have any fun at all. Finally I casually told the mom, I think DD is getting too shy and doesn't stand up for herself, which is upsetting me'. The next time E walked up behind her and yelled in her ear (while she was climbing up the jungle gym, its a wonder she didn't fall), I walked up to her and said 'sweetie, no whining and crying. You need to stand up for yourself. Let me tell you, if you ever feel threatened, the thing to do is to poke your attacker in the eye with your finger.' Then I pretended practicing it with her several times in front of the mom and E. Then I left her with a 'good, now you know what to do when someone bothers you' DD didn't understand a word that I said, but that kid kept far away from DD thenceforth. DH and I had a good laugh about it that night.
Repeat with me 'Ady is a BAD MOMMY, Ady is a BAD MOMMY, ADY is a ..'

Ady

ETA: FWIW, Chris' advice sounds great to me, if this were my friend and I was not in a mean mood, I would follow her advise.

ETA2: I also agree that this child's mom must be having a horrendously hard time, beyond anything that I with just 1 toddler can understand, but it would still make me very mad that my DD or our little Maddie would feel threatened or be hurt because of someone else's bad behaviour

[mommy111]

So sorry, this is such a difficult situation. We had a similar experience at the playground, and I wanted to share the story, but I am an offbeat mom and this may well not work with you. A little boy, (I'll call him E) a regular in our little playgroup was a BIG bully and liked to pick on DD who is a good year younger (and the youngest there). E's mom never interfered when he was attcking other kids and snatching toys, saying that she liked 'gentle' discipline and did not want to cramp his creativity. It got to the point where he was following DD all over the place all the time and scaring her on purpose. It was almost to the point of stalking her one day when we met in a nearby play ground, he would leave the other kids alone, walk behind DD, push her aside when she tried to go down the slide, stand at the bottom of the slide scaring her, finally would walk right up behind her when she was doing her own thing and yell in her ear. She was getting so scared, she would cling to me all playgroup and not have any fun at all. Finally I casually told the mom, I think DD is getting too shy and doesn't stand up for herself, which is upsetting me'. The next time E walked up behind her and yelled in her ear (while she was climbing up the jungle gym, its a wonder she didn't fall), I walked up to her and said 'sweetie, no whining and crying. You need to stand up for yourself. Let me tell you, if you ever feel threatened, the thing to do is to poke your attacker in the eye with your finger.' Then I pretended practicing it with her several times in front of the mom and E. Then I left her with a 'good, now you know what to do when someone bothers you' DD didn't understand a word that I said, but that kid kept far away from DD thenceforth. DH and I had a good laugh about it that night.
Repeat with me 'Ady is a BAD MOMMY, Ady is a BAD MOMMY, ADY is a ..'

Ady

ETA: FWIW, Chris' advice sounds great to me, if this were my friend and I was not in a mean mood, I would follow her advise.

ETA2: I also agree that this child's mom must be having a horrendously hard time, beyond anything that I with just 1 toddler can understand, but it would still make me very mad that my DD or our little Maddie would feel threatened or be hurt because of someone else's bad behaviour

[mommy111]

So sorry, this is such a difficult situation. We had a similar experience at the playground, and I wanted to share the story, but I am an offbeat mom and this may well not work with you. A little boy, (I'll call him E) a regular in our little playgroup was a BIG bully and liked to pick on DD who is a good year younger (and the youngest there). E's mom never interfered when he was attcking other kids and snatching toys, saying that she liked 'gentle' discipline and did not want to cramp his creativity. It got to the point where he was following DD all over the place all the time and scaring her on purpose. It was almost to the point of stalking her one day when we met in a nearby play ground, he would leave the other kids alone, walk behind DD, push her aside when she tried to go down the slide, stand at the bottom of the slide scaring her, finally would walk right up behind her when she was doing her own thing and yell in her ear. She was getting so scared, she would cling to me all playgroup and not have any fun at all. Finally I casually told the mom, I think DD is getting too shy and doesn't stand up for herself, which is upsetting me'. The next time E walked up behind her and yelled in her ear (while she was climbing up the jungle gym, its a wonder she didn't fall), I walked up to her and said 'sweetie, no whining and crying. You need to stand up for yourself. Let me tell you, if you ever feel threatened, the thing to do is to poke your attacker in the eye with your finger.' Then I pretended practicing it with her several times in front of the mom and E. Then I left her with a 'good, now you know what to do when someone bothers you' DD didn't understand a word that I said, but that kid kept far away from DD thenceforth. DH and I had a good laugh about it that night.
Repeat with me 'Ady is a BAD MOMMY, Ady is a BAD MOMMY, ADY is a ..'

Ady

ETA: FWIW, Chris' advice sounds great to me, if this were my friend and I was not in a mean mood, I would follow her advise.

ETA2: I also agree that this child's mom must be having a horrendously hard time, beyond anything that I with just 1 toddler can understand, but it would still make me very mad that my DD or our little Maddie would feel threatened or be hurt because of someone else's bad behaviour

[mommy111]

So sorry, this is such a difficult situation. We had a similar experience at the playground, and I wanted to share the story, but I am an offbeat mom and this may well not work with you. A little boy, (I'll call him E) a regular in our little playgroup was a BIG bully and liked to pick on DD who is a good year younger (and the youngest there). E's mom never interfered when he was attcking other kids and snatching toys, saying that she liked 'gentle' discipline and did not want to cramp his creativity. It got to the point where he was following DD all over the place all the time and scaring her on purpose. It was almost to the point of stalking her one day when we met in a nearby play ground, he would leave the other kids alone, walk behind DD, push her aside when she tried to go down the slide, stand at the bottom of the slide scaring her, finally would walk right up behind her when she was doing her own thing and yell in her ear. She was getting so scared, she would cling to me all playgroup and not have any fun at all. Finally I casually told the mom, I think DD is getting too shy and doesn't stand up for herself, which is upsetting me'. The next time E walked up behind her and yelled in her ear (while she was climbing up the jungle gym, its a wonder she didn't fall), I walked up to her and said 'sweetie, no whining and crying. You need to stand up for yourself. Let me tell you, if you ever feel threatened, the thing to do is to poke your attacker in the eye with your finger.' Then I pretended practicing it with her several times in front of the mom and E. Then I left her with a 'good, now you know what to do when someone bothers you' DD didn't understand a word that I said, but that kid kept far away from DD thenceforth. DH and I had a good laugh about it that night.
Repeat with me 'Ady is a BAD MOMMY, Ady is a BAD MOMMY, ADY is a ..'

Ady

ETA: FWIW, Chris' advice sounds great to me, if this were my friend and I was not in a mean mood, I would follow her advise.

ETA2: I also agree that this child's mom must be having a horrendously hard time, beyond anything that I with just 1 toddler can understand, but it would still make me very mad that my DD or our little Maddie would feel threatened or be hurt because of someone else's bad behaviour

[lizajane]

i agree with sonia that the mom was probably embarrassed and fled the scene to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

2 year olds don't hit/push/etc for "no reason." they are frustrated about something, you may just not know what. this child probably needs more attention and is trying to find a way to get any attention, even if negative. the fact that the mom didn't respond to the initial incident only shows me that they child does indeed have to work very hard to get any attention at all.

my child has gone through stages of biting, pushing, and currently growling like a tiger/bear/monster in other kids faces. as in, 2 inches from their faces. i am MORTIFIED. i can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES i have told my child, "you may NOT play monster. other children DO NOT LIKE IT. they do NOT want to play with you when you play monster. if you do it again, we will LEAVE." and 5 minutes later.... roar... i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. i need time to sit and talk and be an adult and i can't do it when i am chasing my child around telling him over and over and over again to stop scary the crap out of little kids. it is exhausting. (and guess who is favotite target is??? MARTIE. as in see above post. sonia tells martie "tell schuyler you don't like that and to please stop. and then she does. she says, "please stop!")

perhaps the best way to help is to give the child some positive attention. if i heap positive attention on schuyler, he is an angel. if i try to fold laundry, talk to other moms, deal with his brother, he is a devil.

[lizajane]

i agree with sonia that the mom was probably embarrassed and fled the scene to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

2 year olds don't hit/push/etc for "no reason." they are frustrated about something, you may just not know what. this child probably needs more attention and is trying to find a way to get any attention, even if negative. the fact that the mom didn't respond to the initial incident only shows me that they child does indeed have to work very hard to get any attention at all.

my child has gone through stages of biting, pushing, and currently growling like a tiger/bear/monster in other kids faces. as in, 2 inches from their faces. i am MORTIFIED. i can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES i have told my child, "you may NOT play monster. other children DO NOT LIKE IT. they do NOT want to play with you when you play monster. if you do it again, we will LEAVE." and 5 minutes later.... roar... i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. i need time to sit and talk and be an adult and i can't do it when i am chasing my child around telling him over and over and over again to stop scary the crap out of little kids. it is exhausting. (and guess who is favotite target is??? MARTIE. as in see above post. sonia tells martie "tell schuyler you don't like that and to please stop. and then she does. she says, "please stop!")

perhaps the best way to help is to give the child some positive attention. if i heap positive attention on schuyler, he is an angel. if i try to fold laundry, talk to other moms, deal with his brother, he is a devil.

[lizajane]

i agree with sonia that the mom was probably embarrassed and fled the scene to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

2 year olds don't hit/push/etc for "no reason." they are frustrated about something, you may just not know what. this child probably needs more attention and is trying to find a way to get any attention, even if negative. the fact that the mom didn't respond to the initial incident only shows me that they child does indeed have to work very hard to get any attention at all.

my child has gone through stages of biting, pushing, and currently growling like a tiger/bear/monster in other kids faces. as in, 2 inches from their faces. i am MORTIFIED. i can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES i have told my child, "you may NOT play monster. other children DO NOT LIKE IT. they do NOT want to play with you when you play monster. if you do it again, we will LEAVE." and 5 minutes later.... roar... i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. i need time to sit and talk and be an adult and i can't do it when i am chasing my child around telling him over and over and over again to stop scary the crap out of little kids. it is exhausting. (and guess who is favotite target is??? MARTIE. as in see above post. sonia tells martie "tell schuyler you don't like that and to please stop. and then she does. she says, "please stop!")

perhaps the best way to help is to give the child some positive attention. if i heap positive attention on schuyler, he is an angel. if i try to fold laundry, talk to other moms, deal with his brother, he is a devil.

[lizajane]

i agree with sonia that the mom was probably embarrassed and fled the scene to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

2 year olds don't hit/push/etc for "no reason." they are frustrated about something, you may just not know what. this child probably needs more attention and is trying to find a way to get any attention, even if negative. the fact that the mom didn't respond to the initial incident only shows me that they child does indeed have to work very hard to get any attention at all.

my child has gone through stages of biting, pushing, and currently growling like a tiger/bear/monster in other kids faces. as in, 2 inches from their faces. i am MORTIFIED. i can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES i have told my child, "you may NOT play monster. other children DO NOT LIKE IT. they do NOT want to play with you when you play monster. if you do it again, we will LEAVE." and 5 minutes later.... roar... i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. i need time to sit and talk and be an adult and i can't do it when i am chasing my child around telling him over and over and over again to stop scary the crap out of little kids. it is exhausting. (and guess who is favotite target is??? MARTIE. as in see above post. sonia tells martie "tell schuyler you don't like that and to please stop. and then she does. she says, "please stop!")

perhaps the best way to help is to give the child some positive attention. if i heap positive attention on schuyler, he is an angel. if i try to fold laundry, talk to other moms, deal with his brother, he is a devil.

[lizajane]

i agree with sonia that the mom was probably embarrassed and fled the scene to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

2 year olds don't hit/push/etc for "no reason." they are frustrated about something, you may just not know what. this child probably needs more attention and is trying to find a way to get any attention, even if negative. the fact that the mom didn't respond to the initial incident only shows me that they child does indeed have to work very hard to get any attention at all.

my child has gone through stages of biting, pushing, and currently growling like a tiger/bear/monster in other kids faces. as in, 2 inches from their faces. i am MORTIFIED. i can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES i have told my child, "you may NOT play monster. other children DO NOT LIKE IT. they do NOT want to play with you when you play monster. if you do it again, we will LEAVE." and 5 minutes later.... roar... i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. i need time to sit and talk and be an adult and i can't do it when i am chasing my child around telling him over and over and over again to stop scary the crap out of little kids. it is exhausting. (and guess who is favotite target is??? MARTIE. as in see above post. sonia tells martie "tell schuyler you don't like that and to please stop. and then she does. she says, "please stop!")

perhaps the best way to help is to give the child some positive attention. if i heap positive attention on schuyler, he is an angel. if i try to fold laundry, talk to other moms, deal with his brother, he is a devil.

[lizajane]

i agree with sonia that the mom was probably embarrassed and fled the scene to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

2 year olds don't hit/push/etc for "no reason." they are frustrated about something, you may just not know what. this child probably needs more attention and is trying to find a way to get any attention, even if negative. the fact that the mom didn't respond to the initial incident only shows me that they child does indeed have to work very hard to get any attention at all.

my child has gone through stages of biting, pushing, and currently growling like a tiger/bear/monster in other kids faces. as in, 2 inches from their faces. i am MORTIFIED. i can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES i have told my child, "you may NOT play monster. other children DO NOT LIKE IT. they do NOT want to play with you when you play monster. if you do it again, we will LEAVE." and 5 minutes later.... roar... i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. i need time to sit and talk and be an adult and i can't do it when i am chasing my child around telling him over and over and over again to stop scary the crap out of little kids. it is exhausting. (and guess who is favotite target is??? MARTIE. as in see above post. sonia tells martie "tell schuyler you don't like that and to please stop. and then she does. she says, "please stop!")

perhaps the best way to help is to give the child some positive attention. if i heap positive attention on schuyler, he is an angel. if i try to fold laundry, talk to other moms, deal with his brother, he is a devil.

[lizajane]

i agree with sonia that the mom was probably embarrassed and fled the scene to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

2 year olds don't hit/push/etc for "no reason." they are frustrated about something, you may just not know what. this child probably needs more attention and is trying to find a way to get any attention, even if negative. the fact that the mom didn't respond to the initial incident only shows me that they child does indeed have to work very hard to get any attention at all.

my child has gone through stages of biting, pushing, and currently growling like a tiger/bear/monster in other kids faces. as in, 2 inches from their faces. i am MORTIFIED. i can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES i have told my child, "you may NOT play monster. other children DO NOT LIKE IT. they do NOT want to play with you when you play monster. if you do it again, we will LEAVE." and 5 minutes later.... roar... i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. i need time to sit and talk and be an adult and i can't do it when i am chasing my child around telling him over and over and over again to stop scary the crap out of little kids. it is exhausting. (and guess who is favotite target is??? MARTIE. as in see above post. sonia tells martie "tell schuyler you don't like that and to please stop. and then she does. she says, "please stop!")

perhaps the best way to help is to give the child some positive attention. if i heap positive attention on schuyler, he is an angel. if i try to fold laundry, talk to other moms, deal with his brother, he is a devil.

[lizajane]

i agree with sonia that the mom was probably embarrassed and fled the scene to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

2 year olds don't hit/push/etc for "no reason." they are frustrated about something, you may just not know what. this child probably needs more attention and is trying to find a way to get any attention, even if negative. the fact that the mom didn't respond to the initial incident only shows me that they child does indeed have to work very hard to get any attention at all.

my child has gone through stages of biting, pushing, and currently growling like a tiger/bear/monster in other kids faces. as in, 2 inches from their faces. i am MORTIFIED. i can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES i have told my child, "you may NOT play monster. other children DO NOT LIKE IT. they do NOT want to play with you when you play monster. if you do it again, we will LEAVE." and 5 minutes later.... roar... i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. i need time to sit and talk and be an adult and i can't do it when i am chasing my child around telling him over and over and over again to stop scary the crap out of little kids. it is exhausting. (and guess who is favotite target is??? MARTIE. as in see above post. sonia tells martie "tell schuyler you don't like that and to please stop. and then she does. she says, "please stop!")

perhaps the best way to help is to give the child some positive attention. if i heap positive attention on schuyler, he is an angel. if i try to fold laundry, talk to other moms, deal with his brother, he is a devil.

[lizajane]

i agree with sonia that the mom was probably embarrassed and fled the scene to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

2 year olds don't hit/push/etc for "no reason." they are frustrated about something, you may just not know what. this child probably needs more attention and is trying to find a way to get any attention, even if negative. the fact that the mom didn't respond to the initial incident only shows me that they child does indeed have to work very hard to get any attention at all.

my child has gone through stages of biting, pushing, and currently growling like a tiger/bear/monster in other kids faces. as in, 2 inches from their faces. i am MORTIFIED. i can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES i have told my child, "you may NOT play monster. other children DO NOT LIKE IT. they do NOT want to play with you when you play monster. if you do it again, we will LEAVE." and 5 minutes later.... roar... i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. i need time to sit and talk and be an adult and i can't do it when i am chasing my child around telling him over and over and over again to stop scary the crap out of little kids. it is exhausting. (and guess who is favotite target is??? MARTIE. as in see above post. sonia tells martie "tell schuyler you don't like that and to please stop. and then she does. she says, "please stop!")

perhaps the best way to help is to give the child some positive attention. if i heap positive attention on schuyler, he is an angel. if i try to fold laundry, talk to other moms, deal with his brother, he is a devil.

[megs4413]

i know it's hard for you to deal with...but how cute that he plays monster! I chuckled out loud when i read that....

that's an interesting thing to consider...giving her more attention to illicit better behavior.....didn't think of it like that before.

[megs4413]

i know it's hard for you to deal with...but how cute that he plays monster! I chuckled out loud when i read that....

that's an interesting thing to consider...giving her more attention to illicit better behavior.....didn't think of it like that before.

[megs4413]

i know it's hard for you to deal with...but how cute that he plays monster! I chuckled out loud when i read that....

that's an interesting thing to consider...giving her more attention to illicit better behavior.....didn't think of it like that before.

[megs4413]

i know it's hard for you to deal with...but how cute that he plays monster! I chuckled out loud when i read that....

that's an interesting thing to consider...giving her more attention to illicit better behavior.....didn't think of it like that before.

[megs4413]

i know it's hard for you to deal with...but how cute that he plays monster! I chuckled out loud when i read that....

that's an interesting thing to consider...giving her more attention to illicit better behavior.....didn't think of it like that before.

[megs4413]

i know it's hard for you to deal with...but how cute that he plays monster! I chuckled out loud when i read that....

that's an interesting thing to consider...giving her more attention to illicit better behavior.....didn't think of it like that before.

[megs4413]

i know it's hard for you to deal with...but how cute that he plays monster! I chuckled out loud when i read that....

that's an interesting thing to consider...giving her more attention to illicit better behavior.....didn't think of it like that before.

[megs4413]

i know it's hard for you to deal with...but how cute that he plays monster! I chuckled out loud when i read that....

that's an interesting thing to consider...giving her more attention to illicit better behavior.....didn't think of it like that before.

[megs4413]

i know it's hard for you to deal with...but how cute that he plays monster! I chuckled out loud when i read that....

that's an interesting thing to consider...giving her more attention to illicit better behavior.....didn't think of it like that before.

[lisams]

OMG that's hilarious!

It sucks when your child is the target of another child. You don't enjoy playgroup and you surely don't get to enjoy chatting with other adults because you're watching your child like a hawk. DD made me be right next to her because she was so scared of being hurt or harassed. I would get so frustrated as I looked over and saw the other mom laughing and having a great time. It was like I was the designated one to watch her child because her daughter so luckily picked DD as the one to go after time and time again.

[lisams]

OMG that's hilarious!

It sucks when your child is the target of another child. You don't enjoy playgroup and you surely don't get to enjoy chatting with other adults because you're watching your child like a hawk. DD made me be right next to her because she was so scared of being hurt or harassed. I would get so frustrated as I looked over and saw the other mom laughing and having a great time. It was like I was the designated one to watch her child because her daughter so luckily picked DD as the one to go after time and time again.

[lisams]

OMG that's hilarious!

It sucks when your child is the target of another child. You don't enjoy playgroup and you surely don't get to enjoy chatting with other adults because you're watching your child like a hawk. DD made me be right next to her because she was so scared of being hurt or harassed. I would get so frustrated as I looked over and saw the other mom laughing and having a great time. It was like I was the designated one to watch her child because her daughter so luckily picked DD as the one to go after time and time again.

[lisams]

OMG that's hilarious!

It sucks when your child is the target of another child. You don't enjoy playgroup and you surely don't get to enjoy chatting with other adults because you're watching your child like a hawk. DD made me be right next to her because she was so scared of being hurt or harassed. I would get so frustrated as I looked over and saw the other mom laughing and having a great time. It was like I was the designated one to watch her child because her daughter so luckily picked DD as the one to go after time and time again.

[lisams]

OMG that's hilarious!

It sucks when your child is the target of another child. You don't enjoy playgroup and you surely don't get to enjoy chatting with other adults because you're watching your child like a hawk. DD made me be right next to her because she was so scared of being hurt or harassed. I would get so frustrated as I looked over and saw the other mom laughing and having a great time. It was like I was the designated one to watch her child because her daughter so luckily picked DD as the one to go after time and time again.

[lisams]

OMG that's hilarious!

It sucks when your child is the target of another child. You don't enjoy playgroup and you surely don't get to enjoy chatting with other adults because you're watching your child like a hawk. DD made me be right next to her because she was so scared of being hurt or harassed. I would get so frustrated as I looked over and saw the other mom laughing and having a great time. It was like I was the designated one to watch her child because her daughter so luckily picked DD as the one to go after time and time again.

[lisams]

OMG that's hilarious!

It sucks when your child is the target of another child. You don't enjoy playgroup and you surely don't get to enjoy chatting with other adults because you're watching your child like a hawk. DD made me be right next to her because she was so scared of being hurt or harassed. I would get so frustrated as I looked over and saw the other mom laughing and having a great time. It was like I was the designated one to watch her child because her daughter so luckily picked DD as the one to go after time and time again.

[lisams]

OMG that's hilarious!

It sucks when your child is the target of another child. You don't enjoy playgroup and you surely don't get to enjoy chatting with other adults because you're watching your child like a hawk. DD made me be right next to her because she was so scared of being hurt or harassed. I would get so frustrated as I looked over and saw the other mom laughing and having a great time. It was like I was the designated one to watch her child because her daughter so luckily picked DD as the one to go after time and time again.

[lisams]

OMG that's hilarious!

It sucks when your child is the target of another child. You don't enjoy playgroup and you surely don't get to enjoy chatting with other adults because you're watching your child like a hawk. DD made me be right next to her because she was so scared of being hurt or harassed. I would get so frustrated as I looked over and saw the other mom laughing and having a great time. It was like I was the designated one to watch her child because her daughter so luckily picked DD as the one to go after time and time again.

[HannaAddict]

I agree with Caroline's thoughts and I didn't feel like she was being judgmental of the original poster but offering a different perspective to a very upset/angry sounding post attributing some disturbing motives to a very small child. I too would be very upset if a parent, not just a mom, failed to act and intervene when their child pushed, hit, or grabbed a toy, etc. from my child. But I think applying labels to a 2 year old at this point or saddling them with a diagnosis of behavioral issues could be premature. While there are certainly children that have real problems that require professional intervention, there are also "normal" unpleasant two year old behaviors, especially when they interact with younger kids and/or without adequate supervision and direction from their parents, that can result in scratches, hitting, etc. Not saying it is okay!

Since the orginal poster's concern is with the safety of her child, I would suggest trying another playgroup perhaps with children in a more similar age group. When my son was that age (he's now a two year old), I would not have wanted to have to ride herd and protect him from the much more coordinated, rambunctious, even aggressive two year olds. He would fall over easier, not be able to communicate with them or play at the same level. Now that he's two, he actually has little interest in playing with the kids in his current playgroup who are a few months younger. He would much rather play with kids his own age or up to six months older. (He loves chasing and watching the really "big kids" but he can't really play with them). Just a thought.

OT PS: The all caps in the OP's message distract too, it just seems like being shouted at and might make the statements seem more shrill/upset than intended. I think all caps just don't go over well online at all, I don't need them to know someone is upset. It just seems angry and confrontational to the reader.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

I agree with Caroline's thoughts and I didn't feel like she was being judgmental of the original poster but offering a different perspective to a very upset/angry sounding post attributing some disturbing motives to a very small child. I too would be very upset if a parent, not just a mom, failed to act and intervene when their child pushed, hit, or grabbed a toy, etc. from my child. But I think applying labels to a 2 year old at this point or saddling them with a diagnosis of behavioral issues could be premature. While there are certainly children that have real problems that require professional intervention, there are also "normal" unpleasant two year old behaviors, especially when they interact with younger kids and/or without adequate supervision and direction from their parents, that can result in scratches, hitting, etc. Not saying it is okay!

Since the orginal poster's concern is with the safety of her child, I would suggest trying another playgroup perhaps with children in a more similar age group. When my son was that age (he's now a two year old), I would not have wanted to have to ride herd and protect him from the much more coordinated, rambunctious, even aggressive two year olds. He would fall over easier, not be able to communicate with them or play at the same level. Now that he's two, he actually has little interest in playing with the kids in his current playgroup who are a few months younger. He would much rather play with kids his own age or up to six months older. (He loves chasing and watching the really "big kids" but he can't really play with them). Just a thought.

OT PS: The all caps in the OP's message distract too, it just seems like being shouted at and might make the statements seem more shrill/upset than intended. I think all caps just don't go over well online at all, I don't need them to know someone is upset. It just seems angry and confrontational to the reader.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

I agree with Caroline's thoughts and I didn't feel like she was being judgmental of the original poster but offering a different perspective to a very upset/angry sounding post attributing some disturbing motives to a very small child. I too would be very upset if a parent, not just a mom, failed to act and intervene when their child pushed, hit, or grabbed a toy, etc. from my child. But I think applying labels to a 2 year old at this point or saddling them with a diagnosis of behavioral issues could be premature. While there are certainly children that have real problems that require professional intervention, there are also "normal" unpleasant two year old behaviors, especially when they interact with younger kids and/or without adequate supervision and direction from their parents, that can result in scratches, hitting, etc. Not saying it is okay!

Since the orginal poster's concern is with the safety of her child, I would suggest trying another playgroup perhaps with children in a more similar age group. When my son was that age (he's now a two year old), I would not have wanted to have to ride herd and protect him from the much more coordinated, rambunctious, even aggressive two year olds. He would fall over easier, not be able to communicate with them or play at the same level. Now that he's two, he actually has little interest in playing with the kids in his current playgroup who are a few months younger. He would much rather play with kids his own age or up to six months older. (He loves chasing and watching the really "big kids" but he can't really play with them). Just a thought.

OT PS: The all caps in the OP's message distract too, it just seems like being shouted at and might make the statements seem more shrill/upset than intended. I think all caps just don't go over well online at all, I don't need them to know someone is upset. It just seems angry and confrontational to the reader.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

I agree with Caroline's thoughts and I didn't feel like she was being judgmental of the original poster but offering a different perspective to a very upset/angry sounding post attributing some disturbing motives to a very small child. I too would be very upset if a parent, not just a mom, failed to act and intervene when their child pushed, hit, or grabbed a toy, etc. from my child. But I think applying labels to a 2 year old at this point or saddling them with a diagnosis of behavioral issues could be premature. While there are certainly children that have real problems that require professional intervention, there are also "normal" unpleasant two year old behaviors, especially when they interact with younger kids and/or without adequate supervision and direction from their parents, that can result in scratches, hitting, etc. Not saying it is okay!

Since the orginal poster's concern is with the safety of her child, I would suggest trying another playgroup perhaps with children in a more similar age group. When my son was that age (he's now a two year old), I would not have wanted to have to ride herd and protect him from the much more coordinated, rambunctious, even aggressive two year olds. He would fall over easier, not be able to communicate with them or play at the same level. Now that he's two, he actually has little interest in playing with the kids in his current playgroup who are a few months younger. He would much rather play with kids his own age or up to six months older. (He loves chasing and watching the really "big kids" but he can't really play with them). Just a thought.

OT PS: The all caps in the OP's message distract too, it just seems like being shouted at and might make the statements seem more shrill/upset than intended. I think all caps just don't go over well online at all, I don't need them to know someone is upset. It just seems angry and confrontational to the reader.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

I agree with Caroline's thoughts and I didn't feel like she was being judgmental of the original poster but offering a different perspective to a very upset/angry sounding post attributing some disturbing motives to a very small child. I too would be very upset if a parent, not just a mom, failed to act and intervene when their child pushed, hit, or grabbed a toy, etc. from my child. But I think applying labels to a 2 year old at this point or saddling them with a diagnosis of behavioral issues could be premature. While there are certainly children that have real problems that require professional intervention, there are also "normal" unpleasant two year old behaviors, especially when they interact with younger kids and/or without adequate supervision and direction from their parents, that can result in scratches, hitting, etc. Not saying it is okay!

Since the orginal poster's concern is with the safety of her child, I would suggest trying another playgroup perhaps with children in a more similar age group. When my son was that age (he's now a two year old), I would not have wanted to have to ride herd and protect him from the much more coordinated, rambunctious, even aggressive two year olds. He would fall over easier, not be able to communicate with them or play at the same level. Now that he's two, he actually has little interest in playing with the kids in his current playgroup who are a few months younger. He would much rather play with kids his own age or up to six months older. (He loves chasing and watching the really "big kids" but he can't really play with them). Just a thought.

OT PS: The all caps in the OP's message distract too, it just seems like being shouted at and might make the statements seem more shrill/upset than intended. I think all caps just don't go over well online at all, I don't need them to know someone is upset. It just seems angry and confrontational to the reader.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

I agree with Caroline's thoughts and I didn't feel like she was being judgmental of the original poster but offering a different perspective to a very upset/angry sounding post attributing some disturbing motives to a very small child. I too would be very upset if a parent, not just a mom, failed to act and intervene when their child pushed, hit, or grabbed a toy, etc. from my child. But I think applying labels to a 2 year old at this point or saddling them with a diagnosis of behavioral issues could be premature. While there are certainly children that have real problems that require professional intervention, there are also "normal" unpleasant two year old behaviors, especially when they interact with younger kids and/or without adequate supervision and direction from their parents, that can result in scratches, hitting, etc. Not saying it is okay!

Since the orginal poster's concern is with the safety of her child, I would suggest trying another playgroup perhaps with children in a more similar age group. When my son was that age (he's now a two year old), I would not have wanted to have to ride herd and protect him from the much more coordinated, rambunctious, even aggressive two year olds. He would fall over easier, not be able to communicate with them or play at the same level. Now that he's two, he actually has little interest in playing with the kids in his current playgroup who are a few months younger. He would much rather play with kids his own age or up to six months older. (He loves chasing and watching the really "big kids" but he can't really play with them). Just a thought.

OT PS: The all caps in the OP's message distract too, it just seems like being shouted at and might make the statements seem more shrill/upset than intended. I think all caps just don't go over well online at all, I don't need them to know someone is upset. It just seems angry and confrontational to the reader.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

I agree with Caroline's thoughts and I didn't feel like she was being judgmental of the original poster but offering a different perspective to a very upset/angry sounding post attributing some disturbing motives to a very small child. I too would be very upset if a parent, not just a mom, failed to act and intervene when their child pushed, hit, or grabbed a toy, etc. from my child. But I think applying labels to a 2 year old at this point or saddling them with a diagnosis of behavioral issues could be premature. While there are certainly children that have real problems that require professional intervention, there are also "normal" unpleasant two year old behaviors, especially when they interact with younger kids and/or without adequate supervision and direction from their parents, that can result in scratches, hitting, etc. Not saying it is okay!

Since the orginal poster's concern is with the safety of her child, I would suggest trying another playgroup perhaps with children in a more similar age group. When my son was that age (he's now a two year old), I would not have wanted to have to ride herd and protect him from the much more coordinated, rambunctious, even aggressive two year olds. He would fall over easier, not be able to communicate with them or play at the same level. Now that he's two, he actually has little interest in playing with the kids in his current playgroup who are a few months younger. He would much rather play with kids his own age or up to six months older. (He loves chasing and watching the really "big kids" but he can't really play with them). Just a thought.

OT PS: The all caps in the OP's message distract too, it just seems like being shouted at and might make the statements seem more shrill/upset than intended. I think all caps just don't go over well online at all, I don't need them to know someone is upset. It just seems angry and confrontational to the reader.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

I agree with Caroline's thoughts and I didn't feel like she was being judgmental of the original poster but offering a different perspective to a very upset/angry sounding post attributing some disturbing motives to a very small child. I too would be very upset if a parent, not just a mom, failed to act and intervene when their child pushed, hit, or grabbed a toy, etc. from my child. But I think applying labels to a 2 year old at this point or saddling them with a diagnosis of behavioral issues could be premature. While there are certainly children that have real problems that require professional intervention, there are also "normal" unpleasant two year old behaviors, especially when they interact with younger kids and/or without adequate supervision and direction from their parents, that can result in scratches, hitting, etc. Not saying it is okay!

Since the orginal poster's concern is with the safety of her child, I would suggest trying another playgroup perhaps with children in a more similar age group. When my son was that age (he's now a two year old), I would not have wanted to have to ride herd and protect him from the much more coordinated, rambunctious, even aggressive two year olds. He would fall over easier, not be able to communicate with them or play at the same level. Now that he's two, he actually has little interest in playing with the kids in his current playgroup who are a few months younger. He would much rather play with kids his own age or up to six months older. (He loves chasing and watching the really "big kids" but he can't really play with them). Just a thought.

OT PS: The all caps in the OP's message distract too, it just seems like being shouted at and might make the statements seem more shrill/upset than intended. I think all caps just don't go over well online at all, I don't need them to know someone is upset. It just seems angry and confrontational to the reader.

Kimberly

[HannaAddict]

I agree with Caroline's thoughts and I didn't feel like she was being judgmental of the original poster but offering a different perspective to a very upset/angry sounding post attributing some disturbing motives to a very small child. I too would be very upset if a parent, not just a mom, failed to act and intervene when their child pushed, hit, or grabbed a toy, etc. from my child. But I think applying labels to a 2 year old at this point or saddling them with a diagnosis of behavioral issues could be premature. While there are certainly children that have real problems that require professional intervention, there are also "normal" unpleasant two year old behaviors, especially when they interact with younger kids and/or without adequate supervision and direction from their parents, that can result in scratches, hitting, etc. Not saying it is okay!

Since the orginal poster's concern is with the safety of her child, I would suggest trying another playgroup perhaps with children in a more similar age group. When my son was that age (he's now a two year old), I would not have wanted to have to ride herd and protect him from the much more coordinated, rambunctious, even aggressive two year olds. He would fall over easier, not be able to communicate with them or play at the same level. Now that he's two, he actually has little interest in playing with the kids in his current playgroup who are a few months younger. He would much rather play with kids his own age or up to six months older. (He loves chasing and watching the really "big kids" but he can't really play with them). Just a thought.

OT PS: The all caps in the OP's message distract too, it just seems like being shouted at and might make the statements seem more shrill/upset than intended. I think all caps just don't go over well online at all, I don't need them to know someone is upset. It just seems angry and confrontational to the reader.

Kimberly

[bubbaray]

After I stopped laughing, I LOVED this idea. It empowers the victim to stand up for themselves.

Not sure I'd have the balls to try it, but I love it anyway!


Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

After I stopped laughing, I LOVED this idea. It empowers the victim to stand up for themselves.

Not sure I'd have the balls to try it, but I love it anyway!


Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

After I stopped laughing, I LOVED this idea. It empowers the victim to stand up for themselves.

Not sure I'd have the balls to try it, but I love it anyway!


Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

After I stopped laughing, I LOVED this idea. It empowers the victim to stand up for themselves.

Not sure I'd have the balls to try it, but I love it anyway!


Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

After I stopped laughing, I LOVED this idea. It empowers the victim to stand up for themselves.

Not sure I'd have the balls to try it, but I love it anyway!


Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

After I stopped laughing, I LOVED this idea. It empowers the victim to stand up for themselves.

Not sure I'd have the balls to try it, but I love it anyway!


Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

After I stopped laughing, I LOVED this idea. It empowers the victim to stand up for themselves.

Not sure I'd have the balls to try it, but I love it anyway!


Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

After I stopped laughing, I LOVED this idea. It empowers the victim to stand up for themselves.

Not sure I'd have the balls to try it, but I love it anyway!


Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[bubbaray]

After I stopped laughing, I LOVED this idea. It empowers the victim to stand up for themselves.

Not sure I'd have the balls to try it, but I love it anyway!


Melissa

http://b3.lilypie.com/rppJm7/.png[/img][/url]

[stella]

Certainly bullying is a behavior that we should not tolerate.

But two year olds are not exactly the picture of reason, patience, or tolerance. I honestly think it's unfair to label a two year old's behavior as bullying when there is no culpable mental state identified.

Sometimes small children just act badly. They bite or hit or push and you just have to keep on correcting them over and over. And it often doesn't work.

I hate that the OP's child was hurt at playgroup, but playgroups for those ages are often so rough and tumble - it behooves every mom to keep a close eye on all the children. And to forgive and hope that they will grow out of the bad behavior. They usually do.

Claire

[stella]

Certainly bullying is a behavior that we should not tolerate.

But two year olds are not exactly the picture of reason, patience, or tolerance. I honestly think it's unfair to label a two year old's behavior as bullying when there is no culpable mental state identified.

Sometimes small children just act badly. They bite or hit or push and you just have to keep on correcting them over and over. And it often doesn't work.

I hate that the OP's child was hurt at playgroup, but playgroups for those ages are often so rough and tumble - it behooves every mom to keep a close eye on all the children. And to forgive and hope that they will grow out of the bad behavior. They usually do.

Claire

[stella]

Certainly bullying is a behavior that we should not tolerate.

But two year olds are not exactly the picture of reason, patience, or tolerance. I honestly think it's unfair to label a two year old's behavior as bullying when there is no culpable mental state identified.

Sometimes small children just act badly. They bite or hit or push and you just have to keep on correcting them over and over. And it often doesn't work.

I hate that the OP's child was hurt at playgroup, but playgroups for those ages are often so rough and tumble - it behooves every mom to keep a close eye on all the children. And to forgive and hope that they will grow out of the bad behavior. They usually do.

Claire

[stella]

Certainly bullying is a behavior that we should not tolerate.

But two year olds are not exactly the picture of reason, patience, or tolerance. I honestly think it's unfair to label a two year old's behavior as bullying when there is no culpable mental state identified.

Sometimes small children just act badly. They bite or hit or push and you just have to keep on correcting them over and over. And it often doesn't work.

I hate that the OP's child was hurt at playgroup, but playgroups for those ages are often so rough and tumble - it behooves every mom to keep a close eye on all the children. And to forgive and hope that they will grow out of the bad behavior. They usually do.

Claire

[stella]

Certainly bullying is a behavior that we should not tolerate.

But two year olds are not exactly the picture of reason, patience, or tolerance. I honestly think it's unfair to label a two year old's behavior as bullying when there is no culpable mental state identified.

Sometimes small children just act badly. They bite or hit or push and you just have to keep on correcting them over and over. And it often doesn't work.

I hate that the OP's child was hurt at playgroup, but playgroups for those ages are often so rough and tumble - it behooves every mom to keep a close eye on all the children. And to forgive and hope that they will grow out of the bad behavior. They usually do.

Claire

[stella]

Certainly bullying is a behavior that we should not tolerate.

But two year olds are not exactly the picture of reason, patience, or tolerance. I honestly think it's unfair to label a two year old's behavior as bullying when there is no culpable mental state identified.

Sometimes small children just act badly. They bite or hit or push and you just have to keep on correcting them over and over. And it often doesn't work.

I hate that the OP's child was hurt at playgroup, but playgroups for those ages are often so rough and tumble - it behooves every mom to keep a close eye on all the children. And to forgive and hope that they will grow out of the bad behavior. They usually do.

Claire

[stella]

Certainly bullying is a behavior that we should not tolerate.

But two year olds are not exactly the picture of reason, patience, or tolerance. I honestly think it's unfair to label a two year old's behavior as bullying when there is no culpable mental state identified.

Sometimes small children just act badly. They bite or hit or push and you just have to keep on correcting them over and over. And it often doesn't work.

I hate that the OP's child was hurt at playgroup, but playgroups for those ages are often so rough and tumble - it behooves every mom to keep a close eye on all the children. And to forgive and hope that they will grow out of the bad behavior. They usually do.

Claire

[stella]

Certainly bullying is a behavior that we should not tolerate.

But two year olds are not exactly the picture of reason, patience, or tolerance. I honestly think it's unfair to label a two year old's behavior as bullying when there is no culpable mental state identified.

Sometimes small children just act badly. They bite or hit or push and you just have to keep on correcting them over and over. And it often doesn't work.

I hate that the OP's child was hurt at playgroup, but playgroups for those ages are often so rough and tumble - it behooves every mom to keep a close eye on all the children. And to forgive and hope that they will grow out of the bad behavior. They usually do.

Claire

[stella]

Certainly bullying is a behavior that we should not tolerate.

But two year olds are not exactly the picture of reason, patience, or tolerance. I honestly think it's unfair to label a two year old's behavior as bullying when there is no culpable mental state identified.

Sometimes small children just act badly. They bite or hit or push and you just have to keep on correcting them over and over. And it often doesn't work.

I hate that the OP's child was hurt at playgroup, but playgroups for those ages are often so rough and tumble - it behooves every mom to keep a close eye on all the children. And to forgive and hope that they will grow out of the bad behavior. They usually do.

Claire

[niccig]

The eldest boy in our playgroup has just started pushing the other boys. Unlike your situation, the mum is handling it and has told all of us that we can discipline her son if she didn't see it happen. I have done this a few times, and I use the same words she uses when she tells him to stop. By that point, she's at my side and she takes over. I also know that give my DS a few months and he could be pushing back. This prompted a discussion on how we as a group can handle these situations. Maybe you could start up a talk in the group, something along the lines of "At some point, all the kids will push, hit, bite, how do you think we can deal with this as a group?"
Just a suggestion.
Nicci

[niccig]

The eldest boy in our playgroup has just started pushing the other boys. Unlike your situation, the mum is handling it and has told all of us that we can discipline her son if she didn't see it happen. I have done this a few times, and I use the same words she uses when she tells him to stop. By that point, she's at my side and she takes over. I also know that give my DS a few months and he could be pushing back. This prompted a discussion on how we as a group can handle these situations. Maybe you could start up a talk in the group, something along the lines of "At some point, all the kids will push, hit, bite, how do you think we can deal with this as a group?"
Just a suggestion.
Nicci

[niccig]

The eldest boy in our playgroup has just started pushing the other boys. Unlike your situation, the mum is handling it and has told all of us that we can discipline her son if she didn't see it happen. I have done this a few times, and I use the same words she uses when she tells him to stop. By that point, she's at my side and she takes over. I also know that give my DS a few months and he could be pushing back. This prompted a discussion on how we as a group can handle these situations. Maybe you could start up a talk in the group, something along the lines of "At some point, all the kids will push, hit, bite, how do you think we can deal with this as a group?"
Just a suggestion.
Nicci

[niccig]

The eldest boy in our playgroup has just started pushing the other boys. Unlike your situation, the mum is handling it and has told all of us that we can discipline her son if she didn't see it happen. I have done this a few times, and I use the same words she uses when she tells him to stop. By that point, she's at my side and she takes over. I also know that give my DS a few months and he could be pushing back. This prompted a discussion on how we as a group can handle these situations. Maybe you could start up a talk in the group, something along the lines of "At some point, all the kids will push, hit, bite, how do you think we can deal with this as a group?"
Just a suggestion.
Nicci

[niccig]

The eldest boy in our playgroup has just started pushing the other boys. Unlike your situation, the mum is handling it and has told all of us that we can discipline her son if she didn't see it happen. I have done this a few times, and I use the same words she uses when she tells him to stop. By that point, she's at my side and she takes over. I also know that give my DS a few months and he could be pushing back. This prompted a discussion on how we as a group can handle these situations. Maybe you could start up a talk in the group, something along the lines of "At some point, all the kids will push, hit, bite, how do you think we can deal with this as a group?"
Just a suggestion.
Nicci

[niccig]

The eldest boy in our playgroup has just started pushing the other boys. Unlike your situation, the mum is handling it and has told all of us that we can discipline her son if she didn't see it happen. I have done this a few times, and I use the same words she uses when she tells him to stop. By that point, she's at my side and she takes over. I also know that give my DS a few months and he could be pushing back. This prompted a discussion on how we as a group can handle these situations. Maybe you could start up a talk in the group, something along the lines of "At some point, all the kids will push, hit, bite, how do you think we can deal with this as a group?"
Just a suggestion.
Nicci

[niccig]

The eldest boy in our playgroup has just started pushing the other boys. Unlike your situation, the mum is handling it and has told all of us that we can discipline her son if she didn't see it happen. I have done this a few times, and I use the same words she uses when she tells him to stop. By that point, she's at my side and she takes over. I also know that give my DS a few months and he could be pushing back. This prompted a discussion on how we as a group can handle these situations. Maybe you could start up a talk in the group, something along the lines of "At some point, all the kids will push, hit, bite, how do you think we can deal with this as a group?"
Just a suggestion.
Nicci

[niccig]

The eldest boy in our playgroup has just started pushing the other boys. Unlike your situation, the mum is handling it and has told all of us that we can discipline her son if she didn't see it happen. I have done this a few times, and I use the same words she uses when she tells him to stop. By that point, she's at my side and she takes over. I also know that give my DS a few months and he could be pushing back. This prompted a discussion on how we as a group can handle these situations. Maybe you could start up a talk in the group, something along the lines of "At some point, all the kids will push, hit, bite, how do you think we can deal with this as a group?"
Just a suggestion.
Nicci

[niccig]

The eldest boy in our playgroup has just started pushing the other boys. Unlike your situation, the mum is handling it and has told all of us that we can discipline her son if she didn't see it happen. I have done this a few times, and I use the same words she uses when she tells him to stop. By that point, she's at my side and she takes over. I also know that give my DS a few months and he could be pushing back. This prompted a discussion on how we as a group can handle these situations. Maybe you could start up a talk in the group, something along the lines of "At some point, all the kids will push, hit, bite, how do you think we can deal with this as a group?"
Just a suggestion.
Nicci

[kijip]

I really don't think a 2 year old can be a bully in the same way an older child might be one. I would be most frustrated with the parental supervision here and not the child. The 2 year old is not willfully setting out to hurt others IMHO.

15 months and 2 years is not IME a particulary compatible age gap for playing. For playgroups in all honesty I think it is best to go places where the kids can play apart.

I tend to agree with Caroline on the fact that this mother is dealing with a whole new ballgame and that the older child is jealous of the new baby. Frankly the answer to your question "Why would a child do stuff like this?" is "because they are 2". My child is a pretty mellow guy but there have been flashes were I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he was not throwing his weight around with other kids, especially younger tots. Once your child is two, you will see what I mean by "because they are two".

However that does not make your situation any less frustrating. I hope you find a workable solution and that your child does not have anymore owies after playgroup.

[kijip]

I really don't think a 2 year old can be a bully in the same way an older child might be one. I would be most frustrated with the parental supervision here and not the child. The 2 year old is not willfully setting out to hurt others IMHO.

15 months and 2 years is not IME a particulary compatible age gap for playing. For playgroups in all honesty I think it is best to go places where the kids can play apart.

I tend to agree with Caroline on the fact that this mother is dealing with a whole new ballgame and that the older child is jealous of the new baby. Frankly the answer to your question "Why would a child do stuff like this?" is "because they are 2". My child is a pretty mellow guy but there have been flashes were I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he was not throwing his weight around with other kids, especially younger tots. Once your child is two, you will see what I mean by "because they are two".

However that does not make your situation any less frustrating. I hope you find a workable solution and that your child does not have anymore owies after playgroup.

[kijip]

I really don't think a 2 year old can be a bully in the same way an older child might be one. I would be most frustrated with the parental supervision here and not the child. The 2 year old is not willfully setting out to hurt others IMHO.

15 months and 2 years is not IME a particulary compatible age gap for playing. For playgroups in all honesty I think it is best to go places where the kids can play apart.

I tend to agree with Caroline on the fact that this mother is dealing with a whole new ballgame and that the older child is jealous of the new baby. Frankly the answer to your question "Why would a child do stuff like this?" is "because they are 2". My child is a pretty mellow guy but there have been flashes were I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he was not throwing his weight around with other kids, especially younger tots. Once your child is two, you will see what I mean by "because they are two".

However that does not make your situation any less frustrating. I hope you find a workable solution and that your child does not have anymore owies after playgroup.

[kijip]

I really don't think a 2 year old can be a bully in the same way an older child might be one. I would be most frustrated with the parental supervision here and not the child. The 2 year old is not willfully setting out to hurt others IMHO.

15 months and 2 years is not IME a particulary compatible age gap for playing. For playgroups in all honesty I think it is best to go places where the kids can play apart.

I tend to agree with Caroline on the fact that this mother is dealing with a whole new ballgame and that the older child is jealous of the new baby. Frankly the answer to your question "Why would a child do stuff like this?" is "because they are 2". My child is a pretty mellow guy but there have been flashes were I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he was not throwing his weight around with other kids, especially younger tots. Once your child is two, you will see what I mean by "because they are two".

However that does not make your situation any less frustrating. I hope you find a workable solution and that your child does not have anymore owies after playgroup.

[kijip]

I really don't think a 2 year old can be a bully in the same way an older child might be one. I would be most frustrated with the parental supervision here and not the child. The 2 year old is not willfully setting out to hurt others IMHO.

15 months and 2 years is not IME a particulary compatible age gap for playing. For playgroups in all honesty I think it is best to go places where the kids can play apart.

I tend to agree with Caroline on the fact that this mother is dealing with a whole new ballgame and that the older child is jealous of the new baby. Frankly the answer to your question "Why would a child do stuff like this?" is "because they are 2". My child is a pretty mellow guy but there have been flashes were I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he was not throwing his weight around with other kids, especially younger tots. Once your child is two, you will see what I mean by "because they are two".

However that does not make your situation any less frustrating. I hope you find a workable solution and that your child does not have anymore owies after playgroup.

[kijip]

I really don't think a 2 year old can be a bully in the same way an older child might be one. I would be most frustrated with the parental supervision here and not the child. The 2 year old is not willfully setting out to hurt others IMHO.

15 months and 2 years is not IME a particulary compatible age gap for playing. For playgroups in all honesty I think it is best to go places where the kids can play apart.

I tend to agree with Caroline on the fact that this mother is dealing with a whole new ballgame and that the older child is jealous of the new baby. Frankly the answer to your question "Why would a child do stuff like this?" is "because they are 2". My child is a pretty mellow guy but there have been flashes were I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he was not throwing his weight around with other kids, especially younger tots. Once your child is two, you will see what I mean by "because they are two".

However that does not make your situation any less frustrating. I hope you find a workable solution and that your child does not have anymore owies after playgroup.

[kijip]

I really don't think a 2 year old can be a bully in the same way an older child might be one. I would be most frustrated with the parental supervision here and not the child. The 2 year old is not willfully setting out to hurt others IMHO.

15 months and 2 years is not IME a particulary compatible age gap for playing. For playgroups in all honesty I think it is best to go places where the kids can play apart.

I tend to agree with Caroline on the fact that this mother is dealing with a whole new ballgame and that the older child is jealous of the new baby. Frankly the answer to your question "Why would a child do stuff like this?" is "because they are 2". My child is a pretty mellow guy but there have been flashes were I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he was not throwing his weight around with other kids, especially younger tots. Once your child is two, you will see what I mean by "because they are two".

However that does not make your situation any less frustrating. I hope you find a workable solution and that your child does not have anymore owies after playgroup.

[kijip]

I really don't think a 2 year old can be a bully in the same way an older child might be one. I would be most frustrated with the parental supervision here and not the child. The 2 year old is not willfully setting out to hurt others IMHO.

15 months and 2 years is not IME a particulary compatible age gap for playing. For playgroups in all honesty I think it is best to go places where the kids can play apart.

I tend to agree with Caroline on the fact that this mother is dealing with a whole new ballgame and that the older child is jealous of the new baby. Frankly the answer to your question "Why would a child do stuff like this?" is "because they are 2". My child is a pretty mellow guy but there have been flashes were I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he was not throwing his weight around with other kids, especially younger tots. Once your child is two, you will see what I mean by "because they are two".

However that does not make your situation any less frustrating. I hope you find a workable solution and that your child does not have anymore owies after playgroup.

[kijip]

I really don't think a 2 year old can be a bully in the same way an older child might be one. I would be most frustrated with the parental supervision here and not the child. The 2 year old is not willfully setting out to hurt others IMHO.

15 months and 2 years is not IME a particulary compatible age gap for playing. For playgroups in all honesty I think it is best to go places where the kids can play apart.

I tend to agree with Caroline on the fact that this mother is dealing with a whole new ballgame and that the older child is jealous of the new baby. Frankly the answer to your question "Why would a child do stuff like this?" is "because they are 2". My child is a pretty mellow guy but there have been flashes were I had to watch him like a hawk to make sure he was not throwing his weight around with other kids, especially younger tots. Once your child is two, you will see what I mean by "because they are two".

However that does not make your situation any less frustrating. I hope you find a workable solution and that your child does not have anymore owies after playgroup.

[cmdunn1972]

I'm sorry I wasn't able to read all the PP before responding, but here goes. :)

In addition to the frustration of your DD getting banged up by the 2 year old is the separate issue of the 2 year old's Mom (apparently) not disciplining her child on the spot. I'd be upset too, for both reasons.

It's easy to say "just find another playgroup", but that's often easier said than done. Some communities have more playgroups to choose from than others, and even if you did find another group there's no guarantee that other issues won't come up in the new group. So, the best option is probably conflict resolution within the current group.

Other PP's have mentioned that the Mom of the 2 year old might have been embarrassed and that's why she left in a hurry. If that's in fact what it was, then she should have felt that way. However, there are better ways to handle discipline at playgroup than running off (which causes confusion).

You mentioned in your OP that you don't want to make this other Mom feel attacked. There are ways to discuss discipline without it seeming personal.

In that vein, perhaps the best thing for the group to do is to sit down as a group and talk about discipline and how the group should handle it if a child acts up in playgroup. (No pointing fingers, as that would be counter-productive.) Let all the Moms talk about their own discipline philosophies and what they do at home. Also talk about boundaries you want to set. (You need to know at what point can Mom A step in if Mom B's child is misbehaving while Mom B is out of sight.) Giving all the Moms a chance to input their comfort level should help make it seem less personal. Also, the agreements you make at that meeting can be applied uniformly to all the children, whether they reach the "terrible twos" or not.

Hopefully, agreeing as a group on discipline will help improve the group dynamic, as well as resolve your frustrations over these issues.

ATE: I totally agree with Nicci's idea. :)

HTH!

[cmdunn1972]

I'm sorry I wasn't able to read all the PP before responding, but here goes. :)

In addition to the frustration of your DD getting banged up by the 2 year old is the separate issue of the 2 year old's Mom (apparently) not disciplining her child on the spot. I'd be upset too, for both reasons.

It's easy to say "just find another playgroup", but that's often easier said than done. Some communities have more playgroups to choose from than others, and even if you did find another group there's no guarantee that other issues won't come up in the new group. So, the best option is probably conflict resolution within the current group.

Other PP's have mentioned that the Mom of the 2 year old might have been embarrassed and that's why she left in a hurry. If that's in fact what it was, then she should have felt that way. However, there are better ways to handle discipline at playgroup than running off (which causes confusion).

You mentioned in your OP that you don't want to make this other Mom feel attacked. There are ways to discuss discipline without it seeming personal.

In that vein, perhaps the best thing for the group to do is to sit down as a group and talk about discipline and how the group should handle it if a child acts up in playgroup. (No pointing fingers, as that would be counter-productive.) Let all the Moms talk about their own discipline philosophies and what they do at home. Also talk about boundaries you want to set. (You need to know at what point can Mom A step in if Mom B's child is misbehaving while Mom B is out of sight.) Giving all the Moms a chance to input their comfort level should help make it seem less personal. Also, the agreements you make at that meeting can be applied uniformly to all the children, whether they reach the "terrible twos" or not.

Hopefully, agreeing as a group on discipline will help improve the group dynamic, as well as resolve your frustrations over these issues.

ATE: I totally agree with Nicci's idea. :)

HTH!

[cmdunn1972]

I'm sorry I wasn't able to read all the PP before responding, but here goes. :)

In addition to the frustration of your DD getting banged up by the 2 year old is the separate issue of the 2 year old's Mom (apparently) not disciplining her child on the spot. I'd be upset too, for both reasons.

It's easy to say "just find another playgroup", but that's often easier said than done. Some communities have more playgroups to choose from than others, and even if you did find another group there's no guarantee that other issues won't come up in the new group. So, the best option is probably conflict resolution within the current group.

Other PP's have mentioned that the Mom of the 2 year old might have been embarrassed and that's why she left in a hurry. If that's in fact what it was, then she should have felt that way. However, there are better ways to handle discipline at playgroup than running off (which causes confusion).

You mentioned in your OP that you don't want to make this other Mom feel attacked. There are ways to discuss discipline without it seeming personal.

In that vein, perhaps the best thing for the group to do is to sit down as a group and talk about discipline and how the group should handle it if a child acts up in playgroup. (No pointing fingers, as that would be counter-productive.) Let all the Moms talk about their own discipline philosophies and what they do at home. Also talk about boundaries you want to set. (You need to know at what point can Mom A step in if Mom B's child is misbehaving while Mom B is out of sight.) Giving all the Moms a chance to input their comfort level should help make it seem less personal. Also, the agreements you make at that meeting can be applied uniformly to all the children, whether they reach the "terrible twos" or not.

Hopefully, agreeing as a group on discipline will help improve the group dynamic, as well as resolve your frustrations over these issues.

ATE: I totally agree with Nicci's idea. :)

HTH!

[cmdunn1972]

I'm sorry I wasn't able to read all the PP before responding, but here goes. :)

In addition to the frustration of your DD getting banged up by the 2 year old is the separate issue of the 2 year old's Mom (apparently) not disciplining her child on the spot. I'd be upset too, for both reasons.

It's easy to say "just find another playgroup", but that's often easier said than done. Some communities have more playgroups to choose from than others, and even if you did find another group there's no guarantee that other issues won't come up in the new group. So, the best option is probably conflict resolution within the current group.

Other PP's have mentioned that the Mom of the 2 year old might have been embarrassed and that's why she left in a hurry. If that's in fact what it was, then she should have felt that way. However, there are better ways to handle discipline at playgroup than running off (which causes confusion).

You mentioned in your OP that you don't want to make this other Mom feel attacked. There are ways to discuss discipline without it seeming personal.

In that vein, perhaps the best thing for the group to do is to sit down as a group and talk about discipline and how the group should handle it if a child acts up in playgroup. (No pointing fingers, as that would be counter-productive.) Let all the Moms talk about their own discipline philosophies and what they do at home. Also talk about boundaries you want to set. (You need to know at what point can Mom A step in if Mom B's child is misbehaving while Mom B is out of sight.) Giving all the Moms a chance to input their comfort level should help make it seem less personal. Also, the agreements you make at that meeting can be applied uniformly to all the children, whether they reach the "terrible twos" or not.

Hopefully, agreeing as a group on discipline will help improve the group dynamic, as well as resolve your frustrations over these issues.

ATE: I totally agree with Nicci's idea. :)

HTH!

[cmdunn1972]

I'm sorry I wasn't able to read all the PP before responding, but here goes. :)

In addition to the frustration of your DD getting banged up by the 2 year old is the separate issue of the 2 year old's Mom (apparently) not disciplining her child on the spot. I'd be upset too, for both reasons.

It's easy to say "just find another playgroup", but that's often easier said than done. Some communities have more playgroups to choose from than others, and even if you did find another group there's no guarantee that other issues won't come up in the new group. So, the best option is probably conflict resolution within the current group.

Other PP's have mentioned that the Mom of the 2 year old might have been embarrassed and that's why she left in a hurry. If that's in fact what it was, then she should have felt that way. However, there are better ways to handle discipline at playgroup than running off (which causes confusion).

You mentioned in your OP that you don't want to make this other Mom feel attacked. There are ways to discuss discipline without it seeming personal.

In that vein, perhaps the best thing for the group to do is to sit down as a group and talk about discipline and how the group should handle it if a child acts up in playgroup. (No pointing fingers, as that would be counter-productive.) Let all the Moms talk about their own discipline philosophies and what they do at home. Also talk about boundaries you want to set. (You need to know at what point can Mom A step in if Mom B's child is misbehaving while Mom B is out of sight.) Giving all the Moms a chance to input their comfort level should help make it seem less personal. Also, the agreements you make at that meeting can be applied uniformly to all the children, whether they reach the "terrible twos" or not.

Hopefully, agreeing as a group on discipline will help improve the group dynamic, as well as resolve your frustrations over these issues.

ATE: I totally agree with Nicci's idea. :)

HTH!

[cmdunn1972]

I'm sorry I wasn't able to read all the PP before responding, but here goes. :)

In addition to the frustration of your DD getting banged up by the 2 year old is the separate issue of the 2 year old's Mom (apparently) not disciplining her child on the spot. I'd be upset too, for both reasons.

It's easy to say "just find another playgroup", but that's often easier said than done. Some communities have more playgroups to choose from than others, and even if you did find another group there's no guarantee that other issues won't come up in the new group. So, the best option is probably conflict resolution within the current group.

Other PP's have mentioned that the Mom of the 2 year old might have been embarrassed and that's why she left in a hurry. If that's in fact what it was, then she should have felt that way. However, there are better ways to handle discipline at playgroup than running off (which causes confusion).

You mentioned in your OP that you don't want to make this other Mom feel attacked. There are ways to discuss discipline without it seeming personal.

In that vein, perhaps the best thing for the group to do is to sit down as a group and talk about discipline and how the group should handle it if a child acts up in playgroup. (No pointing fingers, as that would be counter-productive.) Let all the Moms talk about their own discipline philosophies and what they do at home. Also talk about boundaries you want to set. (You need to know at what point can Mom A step in if Mom B's child is misbehaving while Mom B is out of sight.) Giving all the Moms a chance to input their comfort level should help make it seem less personal. Also, the agreements you make at that meeting can be applied uniformly to all the children, whether they reach the "terrible twos" or not.

Hopefully, agreeing as a group on discipline will help improve the group dynamic, as well as resolve your frustrations over these issues.

ATE: I totally agree with Nicci's idea. :)

HTH!

[cmdunn1972]

I'm sorry I wasn't able to read all the PP before responding, but here goes. :)

In addition to the frustration of your DD getting banged up by the 2 year old is the separate issue of the 2 year old's Mom (apparently) not disciplining her child on the spot. I'd be upset too, for both reasons.

It's easy to say "just find another playgroup", but that's often easier said than done. Some communities have more playgroups to choose from than others, and even if you did find another group there's no guarantee that other issues won't come up in the new group. So, the best option is probably conflict resolution within the current group.

Other PP's have mentioned that the Mom of the 2 year old might have been embarrassed and that's why she left in a hurry. If that's in fact what it was, then she should have felt that way. However, there are better ways to handle discipline at playgroup than running off (which causes confusion).

You mentioned in your OP that you don't want to make this other Mom feel attacked. There are ways to discuss discipline without it seeming personal.

In that vein, perhaps the best thing for the group to do is to sit down as a group and talk about discipline and how the group should handle it if a child acts up in playgroup. (No pointing fingers, as that would be counter-productive.) Let all the Moms talk about their own discipline philosophies and what they do at home. Also talk about boundaries you want to set. (You need to know at what point can Mom A step in if Mom B's child is misbehaving while Mom B is out of sight.) Giving all the Moms a chance to input their comfort level should help make it seem less personal. Also, the agreements you make at that meeting can be applied uniformly to all the children, whether they reach the "terrible twos" or not.

Hopefully, agreeing as a group on discipline will help improve the group dynamic, as well as resolve your frustrations over these issues.

ATE: I totally agree with Nicci's idea. :)

HTH!

[cmdunn1972]

I'm sorry I wasn't able to read all the PP before responding, but here goes. :)

In addition to the frustration of your DD getting banged up by the 2 year old is the separate issue of the 2 year old's Mom (apparently) not disciplining her child on the spot. I'd be upset too, for both reasons.

It's easy to say "just find another playgroup", but that's often easier said than done. Some communities have more playgroups to choose from than others, and even if you did find another group there's no guarantee that other issues won't come up in the new group. So, the best option is probably conflict resolution within the current group.

Other PP's have mentioned that the Mom of the 2 year old might have been embarrassed and that's why she left in a hurry. If that's in fact what it was, then she should have felt that way. However, there are better ways to handle discipline at playgroup than running off (which causes confusion).

You mentioned in your OP that you don't want to make this other Mom feel attacked. There are ways to discuss discipline without it seeming personal.

In that vein, perhaps the best thing for the group to do is to sit down as a group and talk about discipline and how the group should handle it if a child acts up in playgroup. (No pointing fingers, as that would be counter-productive.) Let all the Moms talk about their own discipline philosophies and what they do at home. Also talk about boundaries you want to set. (You need to know at what point can Mom A step in if Mom B's child is misbehaving while Mom B is out of sight.) Giving all the Moms a chance to input their comfort level should help make it seem less personal. Also, the agreements you make at that meeting can be applied uniformly to all the children, whether they reach the "terrible twos" or not.

Hopefully, agreeing as a group on discipline will help improve the group dynamic, as well as resolve your frustrations over these issues.

ATE: I totally agree with Nicci's idea. :)

HTH!

[cmdunn1972]

I'm sorry I wasn't able to read all the PP before responding, but here goes. :)

In addition to the frustration of your DD getting banged up by the 2 year old is the separate issue of the 2 year old's Mom (apparently) not disciplining her child on the spot. I'd be upset too, for both reasons.

It's easy to say "just find another playgroup", but that's often easier said than done. Some communities have more playgroups to choose from than others, and even if you did find another group there's no guarantee that other issues won't come up in the new group. So, the best option is probably conflict resolution within the current group.

Other PP's have mentioned that the Mom of the 2 year old might have been embarrassed and that's why she left in a hurry. If that's in fact what it was, then she should have felt that way. However, there are better ways to handle discipline at playgroup than running off (which causes confusion).

You mentioned in your OP that you don't want to make this other Mom feel attacked. There are ways to discuss discipline without it seeming personal.

In that vein, perhaps the best thing for the group to do is to sit down as a group and talk about discipline and how the group should handle it if a child acts up in playgroup. (No pointing fingers, as that would be counter-productive.) Let all the Moms talk about their own discipline philosophies and what they do at home. Also talk about boundaries you want to set. (You need to know at what point can Mom A step in if Mom B's child is misbehaving while Mom B is out of sight.) Giving all the Moms a chance to input their comfort level should help make it seem less personal. Also, the agreements you make at that meeting can be applied uniformly to all the children, whether they reach the "terrible twos" or not.

Hopefully, agreeing as a group on discipline will help improve the group dynamic, as well as resolve your frustrations over these issues.

ATE: I totally agree with Nicci's idea. :)

HTH!

[annasmom]

Megs,

I just wanted to add that I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, and it is VERY hard to watch them in a playgroup setting, or any setting really. Also, and I know you agree with this, a 2 year old is not a rational person, and it is very normal for a child of that age to act out physically.

That being said, I think the problem with your particular situation is that the mother is not reacting to her dd's behavior. Trust me, regardless of how crazy things can get, and I have hosted playgroups and MOMs Club parties for 15-20 2-3 year olds, I take my dd aside and speak to her if she is acting poorly. The fact that it is difficult to raise multiple children is no excuse for another child being hurt. That being said, I cannot watch them both every minute, and I am SURE things have gone on that I haven't caught. I just wanted to say this, because I do not want you to second guess yourself. This mother should be on top of her dd.

Just recently we left a Gymboree class because of a somewhat similar situation. There was a particular boy who was REALLY physical. It is very hard to try to teach your dc not to hit, push, etc. when they are getting hit, pushed and the other child's mother says nothing!!

Best of luck to you!!

[annasmom]

Megs,

I just wanted to add that I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, and it is VERY hard to watch them in a playgroup setting, or any setting really. Also, and I know you agree with this, a 2 year old is not a rational person, and it is very normal for a child of that age to act out physically.

That being said, I think the problem with your particular situation is that the mother is not reacting to her dd's behavior. Trust me, regardless of how crazy things can get, and I have hosted playgroups and MOMs Club parties for 15-20 2-3 year olds, I take my dd aside and speak to her if she is acting poorly. The fact that it is difficult to raise multiple children is no excuse for another child being hurt. That being said, I cannot watch them both every minute, and I am SURE things have gone on that I haven't caught. I just wanted to say this, because I do not want you to second guess yourself. This mother should be on top of her dd.

Just recently we left a Gymboree class because of a somewhat similar situation. There was a particular boy who was REALLY physical. It is very hard to try to teach your dc not to hit, push, etc. when they are getting hit, pushed and the other child's mother says nothing!!

Best of luck to you!!

[annasmom]

Megs,

I just wanted to add that I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, and it is VERY hard to watch them in a playgroup setting, or any setting really. Also, and I know you agree with this, a 2 year old is not a rational person, and it is very normal for a child of that age to act out physically.

That being said, I think the problem with your particular situation is that the mother is not reacting to her dd's behavior. Trust me, regardless of how crazy things can get, and I have hosted playgroups and MOMs Club parties for 15-20 2-3 year olds, I take my dd aside and speak to her if she is acting poorly. The fact that it is difficult to raise multiple children is no excuse for another child being hurt. That being said, I cannot watch them both every minute, and I am SURE things have gone on that I haven't caught. I just wanted to say this, because I do not want you to second guess yourself. This mother should be on top of her dd.

Just recently we left a Gymboree class because of a somewhat similar situation. There was a particular boy who was REALLY physical. It is very hard to try to teach your dc not to hit, push, etc. when they are getting hit, pushed and the other child's mother says nothing!!

Best of luck to you!!

[annasmom]

Megs,

I just wanted to add that I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, and it is VERY hard to watch them in a playgroup setting, or any setting really. Also, and I know you agree with this, a 2 year old is not a rational person, and it is very normal for a child of that age to act out physically.

That being said, I think the problem with your particular situation is that the mother is not reacting to her dd's behavior. Trust me, regardless of how crazy things can get, and I have hosted playgroups and MOMs Club parties for 15-20 2-3 year olds, I take my dd aside and speak to her if she is acting poorly. The fact that it is difficult to raise multiple children is no excuse for another child being hurt. That being said, I cannot watch them both every minute, and I am SURE things have gone on that I haven't caught. I just wanted to say this, because I do not want you to second guess yourself. This mother should be on top of her dd.

Just recently we left a Gymboree class because of a somewhat similar situation. There was a particular boy who was REALLY physical. It is very hard to try to teach your dc not to hit, push, etc. when they are getting hit, pushed and the other child's mother says nothing!!

Best of luck to you!!

[annasmom]

Megs,

I just wanted to add that I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, and it is VERY hard to watch them in a playgroup setting, or any setting really. Also, and I know you agree with this, a 2 year old is not a rational person, and it is very normal for a child of that age to act out physically.

That being said, I think the problem with your particular situation is that the mother is not reacting to her dd's behavior. Trust me, regardless of how crazy things can get, and I have hosted playgroups and MOMs Club parties for 15-20 2-3 year olds, I take my dd aside and speak to her if she is acting poorly. The fact that it is difficult to raise multiple children is no excuse for another child being hurt. That being said, I cannot watch them both every minute, and I am SURE things have gone on that I haven't caught. I just wanted to say this, because I do not want you to second guess yourself. This mother should be on top of her dd.

Just recently we left a Gymboree class because of a somewhat similar situation. There was a particular boy who was REALLY physical. It is very hard to try to teach your dc not to hit, push, etc. when they are getting hit, pushed and the other child's mother says nothing!!

Best of luck to you!!

[annasmom]

Megs,

I just wanted to add that I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, and it is VERY hard to watch them in a playgroup setting, or any setting really. Also, and I know you agree with this, a 2 year old is not a rational person, and it is very normal for a child of that age to act out physically.

That being said, I think the problem with your particular situation is that the mother is not reacting to her dd's behavior. Trust me, regardless of how crazy things can get, and I have hosted playgroups and MOMs Club parties for 15-20 2-3 year olds, I take my dd aside and speak to her if she is acting poorly. The fact that it is difficult to raise multiple children is no excuse for another child being hurt. That being said, I cannot watch them both every minute, and I am SURE things have gone on that I haven't caught. I just wanted to say this, because I do not want you to second guess yourself. This mother should be on top of her dd.

Just recently we left a Gymboree class because of a somewhat similar situation. There was a particular boy who was REALLY physical. It is very hard to try to teach your dc not to hit, push, etc. when they are getting hit, pushed and the other child's mother says nothing!!

Best of luck to you!!

[annasmom]

Megs,

I just wanted to add that I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, and it is VERY hard to watch them in a playgroup setting, or any setting really. Also, and I know you agree with this, a 2 year old is not a rational person, and it is very normal for a child of that age to act out physically.

That being said, I think the problem with your particular situation is that the mother is not reacting to her dd's behavior. Trust me, regardless of how crazy things can get, and I have hosted playgroups and MOMs Club parties for 15-20 2-3 year olds, I take my dd aside and speak to her if she is acting poorly. The fact that it is difficult to raise multiple children is no excuse for another child being hurt. That being said, I cannot watch them both every minute, and I am SURE things have gone on that I haven't caught. I just wanted to say this, because I do not want you to second guess yourself. This mother should be on top of her dd.

Just recently we left a Gymboree class because of a somewhat similar situation. There was a particular boy who was REALLY physical. It is very hard to try to teach your dc not to hit, push, etc. when they are getting hit, pushed and the other child's mother says nothing!!

Best of luck to you!!

[annasmom]

Megs,

I just wanted to add that I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, and it is VERY hard to watch them in a playgroup setting, or any setting really. Also, and I know you agree with this, a 2 year old is not a rational person, and it is very normal for a child of that age to act out physically.

That being said, I think the problem with your particular situation is that the mother is not reacting to her dd's behavior. Trust me, regardless of how crazy things can get, and I have hosted playgroups and MOMs Club parties for 15-20 2-3 year olds, I take my dd aside and speak to her if she is acting poorly. The fact that it is difficult to raise multiple children is no excuse for another child being hurt. That being said, I cannot watch them both every minute, and I am SURE things have gone on that I haven't caught. I just wanted to say this, because I do not want you to second guess yourself. This mother should be on top of her dd.

Just recently we left a Gymboree class because of a somewhat similar situation. There was a particular boy who was REALLY physical. It is very hard to try to teach your dc not to hit, push, etc. when they are getting hit, pushed and the other child's mother says nothing!!

Best of luck to you!!

[annasmom]

Megs,

I just wanted to add that I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 1/2 year old, and it is VERY hard to watch them in a playgroup setting, or any setting really. Also, and I know you agree with this, a 2 year old is not a rational person, and it is very normal for a child of that age to act out physically.

That being said, I think the problem with your particular situation is that the mother is not reacting to her dd's behavior. Trust me, regardless of how crazy things can get, and I have hosted playgroups and MOMs Club parties for 15-20 2-3 year olds, I take my dd aside and speak to her if she is acting poorly. The fact that it is difficult to raise multiple children is no excuse for another child being hurt. That being said, I cannot watch them both every minute, and I am SURE things have gone on that I haven't caught. I just wanted to say this, because I do not want you to second guess yourself. This mother should be on top of her dd.

Just recently we left a Gymboree class because of a somewhat similar situation. There was a particular boy who was REALLY physical. It is very hard to try to teach your dc not to hit, push, etc. when they are getting hit, pushed and the other child's mother says nothing!!

Best of luck to you!!

[megs4413]

Interesting....part of the problem is that I am one of the hosts of the group so the particular incident that I'm mentioning occurred at our house. IF I decided to leave the group, they would be in a tough spot for hosting and I don't want to do that. The other problem that particular day was that this mother dropped her two off and left for a couple hours so we were watching her two kids for that time altogether. The behavior seemed to deteriorate AFTER the mother got back. I think now that's probably because the 2yo is craving attention from her Mom--who is exhausted! It is clearly a situation that needs to be worked out in their own home and I don't need to put my nose into it by talking to her. I know she has concerns about it and hopefully they will figure out a plan that will work for them.

[megs4413]

Interesting....part of the problem is that I am one of the hosts of the group so the particular incident that I'm mentioning occurred at our house. IF I decided to leave the group, they would be in a tough spot for hosting and I don't want to do that. The other problem that particular day was that this mother dropped her two off and left for a couple hours so we were watching her two kids for that time altogether. The behavior seemed to deteriorate AFTER the mother got back. I think now that's probably because the 2yo is craving attention from her Mom--who is exhausted! It is clearly a situation that needs to be worked out in their own home and I don't need to put my nose into it by talking to her. I know she has concerns about it and hopefully they will figure out a plan that will work for them.

[megs4413]

Interesting....part of the problem is that I am one of the hosts of the group so the particular incident that I'm mentioning occurred at our house. IF I decided to leave the group, they would be in a tough spot for hosting and I don't want to do that. The other problem that particular day was that this mother dropped her two off and left for a couple hours so we were watching her two kids for that time altogether. The behavior seemed to deteriorate AFTER the mother got back. I think now that's probably because the 2yo is craving attention from her Mom--who is exhausted! It is clearly a situation that needs to be worked out in their own home and I don't need to put my nose into it by talking to her. I know she has concerns about it and hopefully they will figure out a plan that will work for them.

[megs4413]

Interesting....part of the problem is that I am one of the hosts of the group so the particular incident that I'm mentioning occurred at our house. IF I decided to leave the group, they would be in a tough spot for hosting and I don't want to do that. The other problem that particular day was that this mother dropped her two off and left for a couple hours so we were watching her two kids for that time altogether. The behavior seemed to deteriorate AFTER the mother got back. I think now that's probably because the 2yo is craving attention from her Mom--who is exhausted! It is clearly a situation that needs to be worked out in their own home and I don't need to put my nose into it by talking to her. I know she has concerns about it and hopefully they will figure out a plan that will work for them.

[megs4413]

Interesting....part of the problem is that I am one of the hosts of the group so the particular incident that I'm mentioning occurred at our house. IF I decided to leave the group, they would be in a tough spot for hosting and I don't want to do that. The other problem that particular day was that this mother dropped her two off and left for a couple hours so we were watching her two kids for that time altogether. The behavior seemed to deteriorate AFTER the mother got back. I think now that's probably because the 2yo is craving attention from her Mom--who is exhausted! It is clearly a situation that needs to be worked out in their own home and I don't need to put my nose into it by talking to her. I know she has concerns about it and hopefully they will figure out a plan that will work for them.

[megs4413]

Interesting....part of the problem is that I am one of the hosts of the group so the particular incident that I'm mentioning occurred at our house. IF I decided to leave the group, they would be in a tough spot for hosting and I don't want to do that. The other problem that particular day was that this mother dropped her two off and left for a couple hours so we were watching her two kids for that time altogether. The behavior seemed to deteriorate AFTER the mother got back. I think now that's probably because the 2yo is craving attention from her Mom--who is exhausted! It is clearly a situation that needs to be worked out in their own home and I don't need to put my nose into it by talking to her. I know she has concerns about it and hopefully they will figure out a plan that will work for them.

[megs4413]

Interesting....part of the problem is that I am one of the hosts of the group so the particular incident that I'm mentioning occurred at our house. IF I decided to leave the group, they would be in a tough spot for hosting and I don't want to do that. The other problem that particular day was that this mother dropped her two off and left for a couple hours so we were watching her two kids for that time altogether. The behavior seemed to deteriorate AFTER the mother got back. I think now that's probably because the 2yo is craving attention from her Mom--who is exhausted! It is clearly a situation that needs to be worked out in their own home and I don't need to put my nose into it by talking to her. I know she has concerns about it and hopefully they will figure out a plan that will work for them.

[megs4413]

Interesting....part of the problem is that I am one of the hosts of the group so the particular incident that I'm mentioning occurred at our house. IF I decided to leave the group, they would be in a tough spot for hosting and I don't want to do that. The other problem that particular day was that this mother dropped her two off and left for a couple hours so we were watching her two kids for that time altogether. The behavior seemed to deteriorate AFTER the mother got back. I think now that's probably because the 2yo is craving attention from her Mom--who is exhausted! It is clearly a situation that needs to be worked out in their own home and I don't need to put my nose into it by talking to her. I know she has concerns about it and hopefully they will figure out a plan that will work for them.

[megs4413]

Interesting....part of the problem is that I am one of the hosts of the group so the particular incident that I'm mentioning occurred at our house. IF I decided to leave the group, they would be in a tough spot for hosting and I don't want to do that. The other problem that particular day was that this mother dropped her two off and left for a couple hours so we were watching her two kids for that time altogether. The behavior seemed to deteriorate AFTER the mother got back. I think now that's probably because the 2yo is craving attention from her Mom--who is exhausted! It is clearly a situation that needs to be worked out in their own home and I don't need to put my nose into it by talking to her. I know she has concerns about it and hopefully they will figure out a plan that will work for them.

[Vajrastorm]

A child doesn't have to have a "major" disorder to be overly physical and rough at age 2. I think it can be hard for parents of more docile children to understand, but lovely spirited children can be terrors around the age of 2.

I've been on both sides of the fence. My dd does not have SID, but she does fall on the sensory seeking side of the scale. She thrives on physical contact and has a high pain threshhold. Things that most kids think of as painful, she doesn't. At 2, she didn't understand how much it hurt other kids to be pushed, hit, or have their hair pulled.

Yes, playgroups were stressful because sooner or later a friend of dd's would end up crying because of her. I did my best to stay on top of her, but 2 year olds are quick. Thank god my friends worked with me, because I NEEDED them. Dd is near 3 now and thanks to patience, correction, and practice she is a million times better. It is a rare rare day that she hurts another child. Her impulse control and mental reasoning have changed sooo much in the course of year.

We now have a younger friend (suprise! She's 2) who is going through a biting stage. She bites HARD. She has broken dd's skin on more than one occassion, and left bruises that last for weeks. Yes, it pains me to see the bruises or broken skin on dd. But I temper my mama bear with the knowledge that our friend is a fantastic girl who happens to be 2. And I know the humiliation of being the mom of the "terror." I adore this girl and do not hold it against her for a second. She needs my help, not my condemnation. She's a CHILD, not a bully.

[Vajrastorm]

A child doesn't have to have a "major" disorder to be overly physical and rough at age 2. I think it can be hard for parents of more docile children to understand, but lovely spirited children can be terrors around the age of 2.

I've been on both sides of the fence. My dd does not have SID, but she does fall on the sensory seeking side of the scale. She thrives on physical contact and has a high pain threshhold. Things that most kids think of as painful, she doesn't. At 2, she didn't understand how much it hurt other kids to be pushed, hit, or have their hair pulled.

Yes, playgroups were stressful because sooner or later a friend of dd's would end up crying because of her. I did my best to stay on top of her, but 2 year olds are quick. Thank god my friends worked with me, because I NEEDED them. Dd is near 3 now and thanks to patience, correction, and practice she is a million times better. It is a rare rare day that she hurts another child. Her impulse control and mental reasoning have changed sooo much in the course of year.

We now have a younger friend (suprise! She's 2) who is going through a biting stage. She bites HARD. She has broken dd's skin on more than one occassion, and left bruises that last for weeks. Yes, it pains me to see the bruises or broken skin on dd. But I temper my mama bear with the knowledge that our friend is a fantastic girl who happens to be 2. And I know the humiliation of being the mom of the "terror." I adore this girl and do not hold it against her for a second. She needs my help, not my condemnation. She's a CHILD, not a bully.

[Vajrastorm]

A child doesn't have to have a "major" disorder to be overly physical and rough at age 2. I think it can be hard for parents of more docile children to understand, but lovely spirited children can be terrors around the age of 2.

I've been on both sides of the fence. My dd does not have SID, but she does fall on the sensory seeking side of the scale. She thrives on physical contact and has a high pain threshhold. Things that most kids think of as painful, she doesn't. At 2, she didn't understand how much it hurt other kids to be pushed, hit, or have their hair pulled.

Yes, playgroups were stressful because sooner or later a friend of dd's would end up crying because of her. I did my best to stay on top of her, but 2 year olds are quick. Thank god my friends worked with me, because I NEEDED them. Dd is near 3 now and thanks to patience, correction, and practice she is a million times better. It is a rare rare day that she hurts another child. Her impulse control and mental reasoning have changed sooo much in the course of year.

We now have a younger friend (suprise! She's 2) who is going through a biting stage. She bites HARD. She has broken dd's skin on more than one occassion, and left bruises that last for weeks. Yes, it pains me to see the bruises or broken skin on dd. But I temper my mama bear with the knowledge that our friend is a fantastic girl who happens to be 2. And I know the humiliation of being the mom of the "terror." I adore this girl and do not hold it against her for a second. She needs my help, not my condemnation. She's a CHILD, not a bully.

[Vajrastorm]

A child doesn't have to have a "major" disorder to be overly physical and rough at age 2. I think it can be hard for parents of more docile children to understand, but lovely spirited children can be terrors around the age of 2.

I've been on both sides of the fence. My dd does not have SID, but she does fall on the sensory seeking side of the scale. She thrives on physical contact and has a high pain threshhold. Things that most kids think of as painful, she doesn't. At 2, she didn't understand how much it hurt other kids to be pushed, hit, or have their hair pulled.

Yes, playgroups were stressful because sooner or later a friend of dd's would end up crying because of her. I did my best to stay on top of her, but 2 year olds are quick. Thank god my friends worked with me, because I NEEDED them. Dd is near 3 now and thanks to patience, correction, and practice she is a million times better. It is a rare rare day that she hurts another child. Her impulse control and mental reasoning have changed sooo much in the course of year.

We now have a younger friend (suprise! She's 2) who is going through a biting stage. She bites HARD. She has broken dd's skin on more than one occassion, and left bruises that last for weeks. Yes, it pains me to see the bruises or broken skin on dd. But I temper my mama bear with the knowledge that our friend is a fantastic girl who happens to be 2. And I know the humiliation of being the mom of the "terror." I adore this girl and do not hold it against her for a second. She needs my help, not my condemnation. She's a CHILD, not a bully.

[Vajrastorm]

A child doesn't have to have a "major" disorder to be overly physical and rough at age 2. I think it can be hard for parents of more docile children to understand, but lovely spirited children can be terrors around the age of 2.

I've been on both sides of the fence. My dd does not have SID, but she does fall on the sensory seeking side of the scale. She thrives on physical contact and has a high pain threshhold. Things that most kids think of as painful, she doesn't. At 2, she didn't understand how much it hurt other kids to be pushed, hit, or have their hair pulled.

Yes, playgroups were stressful because sooner or later a friend of dd's would end up crying because of her. I did my best to stay on top of her, but 2 year olds are quick. Thank god my friends worked with me, because I NEEDED them. Dd is near 3 now and thanks to patience, correction, and practice she is a million times better. It is a rare rare day that she hurts another child. Her impulse control and mental reasoning have changed sooo much in the course of year.

We now have a younger friend (suprise! She's 2) who is going through a biting stage. She bites HARD. She has broken dd's skin on more than one occassion, and left bruises that last for weeks. Yes, it pains me to see the bruises or broken skin on dd. But I temper my mama bear with the knowledge that our friend is a fantastic girl who happens to be 2. And I know the humiliation of being the mom of the "terror." I adore this girl and do not hold it against her for a second. She needs my help, not my condemnation. She's a CHILD, not a bully.

[Vajrastorm]

A child doesn't have to have a "major" disorder to be overly physical and rough at age 2. I think it can be hard for parents of more docile children to understand, but lovely spirited children can be terrors around the age of 2.

I've been on both sides of the fence. My dd does not have SID, but she does fall on the sensory seeking side of the scale. She thrives on physical contact and has a high pain threshhold. Things that most kids think of as painful, she doesn't. At 2, she didn't understand how much it hurt other kids to be pushed, hit, or have their hair pulled.

Yes, playgroups were stressful because sooner or later a friend of dd's would end up crying because of her. I did my best to stay on top of her, but 2 year olds are quick. Thank god my friends worked with me, because I NEEDED them. Dd is near 3 now and thanks to patience, correction, and practice she is a million times better. It is a rare rare day that she hurts another child. Her impulse control and mental reasoning have changed sooo much in the course of year.

We now have a younger friend (suprise! She's 2) who is going through a biting stage. She bites HARD. She has broken dd's skin on more than one occassion, and left bruises that last for weeks. Yes, it pains me to see the bruises or broken skin on dd. But I temper my mama bear with the knowledge that our friend is a fantastic girl who happens to be 2. And I know the humiliation of being the mom of the "terror." I adore this girl and do not hold it against her for a second. She needs my help, not my condemnation. She's a CHILD, not a bully.

[Vajrastorm]

A child doesn't have to have a "major" disorder to be overly physical and rough at age 2. I think it can be hard for parents of more docile children to understand, but lovely spirited children can be terrors around the age of 2.

I've been on both sides of the fence. My dd does not have SID, but she does fall on the sensory seeking side of the scale. She thrives on physical contact and has a high pain threshhold. Things that most kids think of as painful, she doesn't. At 2, she didn't understand how much it hurt other kids to be pushed, hit, or have their hair pulled.

Yes, playgroups were stressful because sooner or later a friend of dd's would end up crying because of her. I did my best to stay on top of her, but 2 year olds are quick. Thank god my friends worked with me, because I NEEDED them. Dd is near 3 now and thanks to patience, correction, and practice she is a million times better. It is a rare rare day that she hurts another child. Her impulse control and mental reasoning have changed sooo much in the course of year.

We now have a younger friend (suprise! She's 2) who is going through a biting stage. She bites HARD. She has broken dd's skin on more than one occassion, and left bruises that last for weeks. Yes, it pains me to see the bruises or broken skin on dd. But I temper my mama bear with the knowledge that our friend is a fantastic girl who happens to be 2. And I know the humiliation of being the mom of the "terror." I adore this girl and do not hold it against her for a second. She needs my help, not my condemnation. She's a CHILD, not a bully.

[Vajrastorm]

A child doesn't have to have a "major" disorder to be overly physical and rough at age 2. I think it can be hard for parents of more docile children to understand, but lovely spirited children can be terrors around the age of 2.

I've been on both sides of the fence. My dd does not have SID, but she does fall on the sensory seeking side of the scale. She thrives on physical contact and has a high pain threshhold. Things that most kids think of as painful, she doesn't. At 2, she didn't understand how much it hurt other kids to be pushed, hit, or have their hair pulled.

Yes, playgroups were stressful because sooner or later a friend of dd's would end up crying because of her. I did my best to stay on top of her, but 2 year olds are quick. Thank god my friends worked with me, because I NEEDED them. Dd is near 3 now and thanks to patience, correction, and practice she is a million times better. It is a rare rare day that she hurts another child. Her impulse control and mental reasoning have changed sooo much in the course of year.

We now have a younger friend (suprise! She's 2) who is going through a biting stage. She bites HARD. She has broken dd's skin on more than one occassion, and left bruises that last for weeks. Yes, it pains me to see the bruises or broken skin on dd. But I temper my mama bear with the knowledge that our friend is a fantastic girl who happens to be 2. And I know the humiliation of being the mom of the "terror." I adore this girl and do not hold it against her for a second. She needs my help, not my condemnation. She's a CHILD, not a bully.

[Vajrastorm]

A child doesn't have to have a "major" disorder to be overly physical and rough at age 2. I think it can be hard for parents of more docile children to understand, but lovely spirited children can be terrors around the age of 2.

I've been on both sides of the fence. My dd does not have SID, but she does fall on the sensory seeking side of the scale. She thrives on physical contact and has a high pain threshhold. Things that most kids think of as painful, she doesn't. At 2, she didn't understand how much it hurt other kids to be pushed, hit, or have their hair pulled.

Yes, playgroups were stressful because sooner or later a friend of dd's would end up crying because of her. I did my best to stay on top of her, but 2 year olds are quick. Thank god my friends worked with me, because I NEEDED them. Dd is near 3 now and thanks to patience, correction, and practice she is a million times better. It is a rare rare day that she hurts another child. Her impulse control and mental reasoning have changed sooo much in the course of year.

We now have a younger friend (suprise! She's 2) who is going through a biting stage. She bites HARD. She has broken dd's skin on more than one occassion, and left bruises that last for weeks. Yes, it pains me to see the bruises or broken skin on dd. But I temper my mama bear with the knowledge that our friend is a fantastic girl who happens to be 2. And I know the humiliation of being the mom of the "terror." I adore this girl and do not hold it against her for a second. She needs my help, not my condemnation. She's a CHILD, not a bully.

[megs4413]

if you would read my earlier post, i backed off the "bully" statement after reading some of the other perspectives. I can't edit my earlier posst because it's "past the editing date"....

Edited for clarity.

[megs4413]

if you would read my earlier post, i backed off the "bully" statement after reading some of the other perspectives. I can't edit my earlier posst because it's "past the editing date"....

Edited for clarity.

[megs4413]

if you would read my earlier post, i backed off the "bully" statement after reading some of the other perspectives. I can't edit my earlier posst because it's "past the editing date"....

Edited for clarity.

[megs4413]

if you would read my earlier post, i backed off the "bully" statement after reading some of the other perspectives. I can't edit my earlier posst because it's "past the editing date"....

Edited for clarity.

[megs4413]

if you would read my earlier post, i backed off the "bully" statement after reading some of the other perspectives. I can't edit my earlier posst because it's "past the editing date"....

Edited for clarity.

[megs4413]

if you would read my earlier post, i backed off the "bully" statement after reading some of the other perspectives. I can't edit my earlier posst because it's "past the editing date"....

Edited for clarity.

[megs4413]

if you would read my earlier post, i backed off the "bully" statement after reading some of the other perspectives. I can't edit my earlier posst because it's "past the editing date"....

Edited for clarity.

[megs4413]

if you would read my earlier post, i backed off the "bully" statement after reading some of the other perspectives. I can't edit my earlier posst because it's "past the editing date"....

Edited for clarity.

[megs4413]

if you would read my earlier post, i backed off the "bully" statement after reading some of the other perspectives. I can't edit my earlier posst because it's "past the editing date"....

Edited for clarity.

[trumansmom]

Mods can do this for you. Please don't hesitate to email me with wording if you would like my help. :)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[trumansmom]

Mods can do this for you. Please don't hesitate to email me with wording if you would like my help. :)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[trumansmom]

Mods can do this for you. Please don't hesitate to email me with wording if you would like my help. :)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[trumansmom]

Mods can do this for you. Please don't hesitate to email me with wording if you would like my help. :)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[trumansmom]

Mods can do this for you. Please don't hesitate to email me with wording if you would like my help. :)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[trumansmom]

Mods can do this for you. Please don't hesitate to email me with wording if you would like my help. :)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[trumansmom]

Mods can do this for you. Please don't hesitate to email me with wording if you would like my help. :)

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04