How mad would you be?

[lmariana]

I haven't posted in forever, but I just need to get some perspective from like-minded individuals on this.

Background:
Hubby is extremely busy with a full-time job and starting up a new business at the same time. He normally doesn't go to bed until 2am. He is always extremely tired and impossible to keep awake during the day. On more than one occasion, he has fallen asleep while watching the kids.

Issue:
This morning, our toddler woke up ultra-early and I had to go downstairs with him to get him juice, etc. The baby woke up at the same time. So, I asked hubby to feed the baby, while I took care of Gabe downstairs, he said it was fine.

I hear lots of crying upstairs and assume (stupid me) that the baby is just fussing. Then I hear a thud. Baby crawled off the bed. Baby was screaming, hubby had no idea what was going on and didn't even remember that I had asked him to feed the baby.

I was LIVID. I made him take the baby into the doctor himself while I stayed home with Gabe.

So? How angry would you be?

I know I'm partially to blame for trusting my seemingly-narcoleptic-husband to watch the baby in the first place...

[lmariana]

I haven't posted in forever, but I just need to get some perspective from like-minded individuals on this.

Background:
Hubby is extremely busy with a full-time job and starting up a new business at the same time. He normally doesn't go to bed until 2am. He is always extremely tired and impossible to keep awake during the day. On more than one occasion, he has fallen asleep while watching the kids.

Issue:
This morning, our toddler woke up ultra-early and I had to go downstairs with him to get him juice, etc. The baby woke up at the same time. So, I asked hubby to feed the baby, while I took care of Gabe downstairs, he said it was fine.

I hear lots of crying upstairs and assume (stupid me) that the baby is just fussing. Then I hear a thud. Baby crawled off the bed. Baby was screaming, hubby had no idea what was going on and didn't even remember that I had asked him to feed the baby.

I was LIVID. I made him take the baby into the doctor himself while I stayed home with Gabe.

So? How angry would you be?

I know I'm partially to blame for trusting my seemingly-narcoleptic-husband to watch the baby in the first place...

[lmariana]

I haven't posted in forever, but I just need to get some perspective from like-minded individuals on this.

Background:
Hubby is extremely busy with a full-time job and starting up a new business at the same time. He normally doesn't go to bed until 2am. He is always extremely tired and impossible to keep awake during the day. On more than one occasion, he has fallen asleep while watching the kids.

Issue:
This morning, our toddler woke up ultra-early and I had to go downstairs with him to get him juice, etc. The baby woke up at the same time. So, I asked hubby to feed the baby, while I took care of Gabe downstairs, he said it was fine.

I hear lots of crying upstairs and assume (stupid me) that the baby is just fussing. Then I hear a thud. Baby crawled off the bed. Baby was screaming, hubby had no idea what was going on and didn't even remember that I had asked him to feed the baby.

I was LIVID. I made him take the baby into the doctor himself while I stayed home with Gabe.

So? How angry would you be?

I know I'm partially to blame for trusting my seemingly-narcoleptic-husband to watch the baby in the first place...

[lmariana]

I haven't posted in forever, but I just need to get some perspective from like-minded individuals on this.

Background:
Hubby is extremely busy with a full-time job and starting up a new business at the same time. He normally doesn't go to bed until 2am. He is always extremely tired and impossible to keep awake during the day. On more than one occasion, he has fallen asleep while watching the kids.

Issue:
This morning, our toddler woke up ultra-early and I had to go downstairs with him to get him juice, etc. The baby woke up at the same time. So, I asked hubby to feed the baby, while I took care of Gabe downstairs, he said it was fine.

I hear lots of crying upstairs and assume (stupid me) that the baby is just fussing. Then I hear a thud. Baby crawled off the bed. Baby was screaming, hubby had no idea what was going on and didn't even remember that I had asked him to feed the baby.

I was LIVID. I made him take the baby into the doctor himself while I stayed home with Gabe.

So? How angry would you be?

I know I'm partially to blame for trusting my seemingly-narcoleptic-husband to watch the baby in the first place...

[lmariana]

I haven't posted in forever, but I just need to get some perspective from like-minded individuals on this.

Background:
Hubby is extremely busy with a full-time job and starting up a new business at the same time. He normally doesn't go to bed until 2am. He is always extremely tired and impossible to keep awake during the day. On more than one occasion, he has fallen asleep while watching the kids.

Issue:
This morning, our toddler woke up ultra-early and I had to go downstairs with him to get him juice, etc. The baby woke up at the same time. So, I asked hubby to feed the baby, while I took care of Gabe downstairs, he said it was fine.

I hear lots of crying upstairs and assume (stupid me) that the baby is just fussing. Then I hear a thud. Baby crawled off the bed. Baby was screaming, hubby had no idea what was going on and didn't even remember that I had asked him to feed the baby.

I was LIVID. I made him take the baby into the doctor himself while I stayed home with Gabe.

So? How angry would you be?

I know I'm partially to blame for trusting my seemingly-narcoleptic-husband to watch the baby in the first place...

[lmariana]

I haven't posted in forever, but I just need to get some perspective from like-minded individuals on this.

Background:
Hubby is extremely busy with a full-time job and starting up a new business at the same time. He normally doesn't go to bed until 2am. He is always extremely tired and impossible to keep awake during the day. On more than one occasion, he has fallen asleep while watching the kids.

Issue:
This morning, our toddler woke up ultra-early and I had to go downstairs with him to get him juice, etc. The baby woke up at the same time. So, I asked hubby to feed the baby, while I took care of Gabe downstairs, he said it was fine.

I hear lots of crying upstairs and assume (stupid me) that the baby is just fussing. Then I hear a thud. Baby crawled off the bed. Baby was screaming, hubby had no idea what was going on and didn't even remember that I had asked him to feed the baby.

I was LIVID. I made him take the baby into the doctor himself while I stayed home with Gabe.

So? How angry would you be?

I know I'm partially to blame for trusting my seemingly-narcoleptic-husband to watch the baby in the first place...

[lmariana]

I haven't posted in forever, but I just need to get some perspective from like-minded individuals on this.

Background:
Hubby is extremely busy with a full-time job and starting up a new business at the same time. He normally doesn't go to bed until 2am. He is always extremely tired and impossible to keep awake during the day. On more than one occasion, he has fallen asleep while watching the kids.

Issue:
This morning, our toddler woke up ultra-early and I had to go downstairs with him to get him juice, etc. The baby woke up at the same time. So, I asked hubby to feed the baby, while I took care of Gabe downstairs, he said it was fine.

I hear lots of crying upstairs and assume (stupid me) that the baby is just fussing. Then I hear a thud. Baby crawled off the bed. Baby was screaming, hubby had no idea what was going on and didn't even remember that I had asked him to feed the baby.

I was LIVID. I made him take the baby into the doctor himself while I stayed home with Gabe.

So? How angry would you be?

I know I'm partially to blame for trusting my seemingly-narcoleptic-husband to watch the baby in the first place...

[lmariana]

I haven't posted in forever, but I just need to get some perspective from like-minded individuals on this.

Background:
Hubby is extremely busy with a full-time job and starting up a new business at the same time. He normally doesn't go to bed until 2am. He is always extremely tired and impossible to keep awake during the day. On more than one occasion, he has fallen asleep while watching the kids.

Issue:
This morning, our toddler woke up ultra-early and I had to go downstairs with him to get him juice, etc. The baby woke up at the same time. So, I asked hubby to feed the baby, while I took care of Gabe downstairs, he said it was fine.

I hear lots of crying upstairs and assume (stupid me) that the baby is just fussing. Then I hear a thud. Baby crawled off the bed. Baby was screaming, hubby had no idea what was going on and didn't even remember that I had asked him to feed the baby.

I was LIVID. I made him take the baby into the doctor himself while I stayed home with Gabe.

So? How angry would you be?

I know I'm partially to blame for trusting my seemingly-narcoleptic-husband to watch the baby in the first place...

[lmariana]

I haven't posted in forever, but I just need to get some perspective from like-minded individuals on this.

Background:
Hubby is extremely busy with a full-time job and starting up a new business at the same time. He normally doesn't go to bed until 2am. He is always extremely tired and impossible to keep awake during the day. On more than one occasion, he has fallen asleep while watching the kids.

Issue:
This morning, our toddler woke up ultra-early and I had to go downstairs with him to get him juice, etc. The baby woke up at the same time. So, I asked hubby to feed the baby, while I took care of Gabe downstairs, he said it was fine.

I hear lots of crying upstairs and assume (stupid me) that the baby is just fussing. Then I hear a thud. Baby crawled off the bed. Baby was screaming, hubby had no idea what was going on and didn't even remember that I had asked him to feed the baby.

I was LIVID. I made him take the baby into the doctor himself while I stayed home with Gabe.

So? How angry would you be?

I know I'm partially to blame for trusting my seemingly-narcoleptic-husband to watch the baby in the first place...

[saschalicks]

Mariana,
Good to see you, but no so good to see you in the B!tching forum. Firstly I'm sorry to hear that you have this issue. I would and have been very angry with DH for this. I've been in your place and I've gotten very upset at little things b/c I've felt alone. Then one day I just told DH that I didn't want to raise the kids alone. Not only that but I really wanted the kids to feel DH as a part of their lives. Things really changed after that. I think more so b/c DH realized he didn't want to be an absentee dad. Of course his work comes first as far as scheduling, but his free time is always scheduled with the boys in mind first. Everything else he's able to do is just extra. I think he realized that for the time being most, not all, of his free time should be dedicated to his family life just like mine is. We both get our *play* time but equally more now.

I think it's time you spoke to DH about him *helping* more. Yes, he is ultra busy, but that doesn't mean that you should feel the way you do today. I think he needs to make the decision to taper down hours somewhere in order to get more sleep. Maybe, if you have a conversation with him he'll be more receptive.

Good luck and HTH!

[saschalicks]

Mariana,
Good to see you, but no so good to see you in the B!tching forum. Firstly I'm sorry to hear that you have this issue. I would and have been very angry with DH for this. I've been in your place and I've gotten very upset at little things b/c I've felt alone. Then one day I just told DH that I didn't want to raise the kids alone. Not only that but I really wanted the kids to feel DH as a part of their lives. Things really changed after that. I think more so b/c DH realized he didn't want to be an absentee dad. Of course his work comes first as far as scheduling, but his free time is always scheduled with the boys in mind first. Everything else he's able to do is just extra. I think he realized that for the time being most, not all, of his free time should be dedicated to his family life just like mine is. We both get our *play* time but equally more now.

I think it's time you spoke to DH about him *helping* more. Yes, he is ultra busy, but that doesn't mean that you should feel the way you do today. I think he needs to make the decision to taper down hours somewhere in order to get more sleep. Maybe, if you have a conversation with him he'll be more receptive.

Good luck and HTH!

[saschalicks]

Mariana,
Good to see you, but no so good to see you in the B!tching forum. Firstly I'm sorry to hear that you have this issue. I would and have been very angry with DH for this. I've been in your place and I've gotten very upset at little things b/c I've felt alone. Then one day I just told DH that I didn't want to raise the kids alone. Not only that but I really wanted the kids to feel DH as a part of their lives. Things really changed after that. I think more so b/c DH realized he didn't want to be an absentee dad. Of course his work comes first as far as scheduling, but his free time is always scheduled with the boys in mind first. Everything else he's able to do is just extra. I think he realized that for the time being most, not all, of his free time should be dedicated to his family life just like mine is. We both get our *play* time but equally more now.

I think it's time you spoke to DH about him *helping* more. Yes, he is ultra busy, but that doesn't mean that you should feel the way you do today. I think he needs to make the decision to taper down hours somewhere in order to get more sleep. Maybe, if you have a conversation with him he'll be more receptive.

Good luck and HTH!

[saschalicks]

Mariana,
Good to see you, but no so good to see you in the B!tching forum. Firstly I'm sorry to hear that you have this issue. I would and have been very angry with DH for this. I've been in your place and I've gotten very upset at little things b/c I've felt alone. Then one day I just told DH that I didn't want to raise the kids alone. Not only that but I really wanted the kids to feel DH as a part of their lives. Things really changed after that. I think more so b/c DH realized he didn't want to be an absentee dad. Of course his work comes first as far as scheduling, but his free time is always scheduled with the boys in mind first. Everything else he's able to do is just extra. I think he realized that for the time being most, not all, of his free time should be dedicated to his family life just like mine is. We both get our *play* time but equally more now.

I think it's time you spoke to DH about him *helping* more. Yes, he is ultra busy, but that doesn't mean that you should feel the way you do today. I think he needs to make the decision to taper down hours somewhere in order to get more sleep. Maybe, if you have a conversation with him he'll be more receptive.

Good luck and HTH!

[saschalicks]

Mariana,
Good to see you, but no so good to see you in the B!tching forum. Firstly I'm sorry to hear that you have this issue. I would and have been very angry with DH for this. I've been in your place and I've gotten very upset at little things b/c I've felt alone. Then one day I just told DH that I didn't want to raise the kids alone. Not only that but I really wanted the kids to feel DH as a part of their lives. Things really changed after that. I think more so b/c DH realized he didn't want to be an absentee dad. Of course his work comes first as far as scheduling, but his free time is always scheduled with the boys in mind first. Everything else he's able to do is just extra. I think he realized that for the time being most, not all, of his free time should be dedicated to his family life just like mine is. We both get our *play* time but equally more now.

I think it's time you spoke to DH about him *helping* more. Yes, he is ultra busy, but that doesn't mean that you should feel the way you do today. I think he needs to make the decision to taper down hours somewhere in order to get more sleep. Maybe, if you have a conversation with him he'll be more receptive.

Good luck and HTH!

[saschalicks]

Mariana,
Good to see you, but no so good to see you in the B!tching forum. Firstly I'm sorry to hear that you have this issue. I would and have been very angry with DH for this. I've been in your place and I've gotten very upset at little things b/c I've felt alone. Then one day I just told DH that I didn't want to raise the kids alone. Not only that but I really wanted the kids to feel DH as a part of their lives. Things really changed after that. I think more so b/c DH realized he didn't want to be an absentee dad. Of course his work comes first as far as scheduling, but his free time is always scheduled with the boys in mind first. Everything else he's able to do is just extra. I think he realized that for the time being most, not all, of his free time should be dedicated to his family life just like mine is. We both get our *play* time but equally more now.

I think it's time you spoke to DH about him *helping* more. Yes, he is ultra busy, but that doesn't mean that you should feel the way you do today. I think he needs to make the decision to taper down hours somewhere in order to get more sleep. Maybe, if you have a conversation with him he'll be more receptive.

Good luck and HTH!

[saschalicks]

Mariana,
Good to see you, but no so good to see you in the B!tching forum. Firstly I'm sorry to hear that you have this issue. I would and have been very angry with DH for this. I've been in your place and I've gotten very upset at little things b/c I've felt alone. Then one day I just told DH that I didn't want to raise the kids alone. Not only that but I really wanted the kids to feel DH as a part of their lives. Things really changed after that. I think more so b/c DH realized he didn't want to be an absentee dad. Of course his work comes first as far as scheduling, but his free time is always scheduled with the boys in mind first. Everything else he's able to do is just extra. I think he realized that for the time being most, not all, of his free time should be dedicated to his family life just like mine is. We both get our *play* time but equally more now.

I think it's time you spoke to DH about him *helping* more. Yes, he is ultra busy, but that doesn't mean that you should feel the way you do today. I think he needs to make the decision to taper down hours somewhere in order to get more sleep. Maybe, if you have a conversation with him he'll be more receptive.

Good luck and HTH!

[saschalicks]

Mariana,
Good to see you, but no so good to see you in the B!tching forum. Firstly I'm sorry to hear that you have this issue. I would and have been very angry with DH for this. I've been in your place and I've gotten very upset at little things b/c I've felt alone. Then one day I just told DH that I didn't want to raise the kids alone. Not only that but I really wanted the kids to feel DH as a part of their lives. Things really changed after that. I think more so b/c DH realized he didn't want to be an absentee dad. Of course his work comes first as far as scheduling, but his free time is always scheduled with the boys in mind first. Everything else he's able to do is just extra. I think he realized that for the time being most, not all, of his free time should be dedicated to his family life just like mine is. We both get our *play* time but equally more now.

I think it's time you spoke to DH about him *helping* more. Yes, he is ultra busy, but that doesn't mean that you should feel the way you do today. I think he needs to make the decision to taper down hours somewhere in order to get more sleep. Maybe, if you have a conversation with him he'll be more receptive.

Good luck and HTH!

[saschalicks]

Mariana,
Good to see you, but no so good to see you in the B!tching forum. Firstly I'm sorry to hear that you have this issue. I would and have been very angry with DH for this. I've been in your place and I've gotten very upset at little things b/c I've felt alone. Then one day I just told DH that I didn't want to raise the kids alone. Not only that but I really wanted the kids to feel DH as a part of their lives. Things really changed after that. I think more so b/c DH realized he didn't want to be an absentee dad. Of course his work comes first as far as scheduling, but his free time is always scheduled with the boys in mind first. Everything else he's able to do is just extra. I think he realized that for the time being most, not all, of his free time should be dedicated to his family life just like mine is. We both get our *play* time but equally more now.

I think it's time you spoke to DH about him *helping* more. Yes, he is ultra busy, but that doesn't mean that you should feel the way you do today. I think he needs to make the decision to taper down hours somewhere in order to get more sleep. Maybe, if you have a conversation with him he'll be more receptive.

Good luck and HTH!

[cbm]

I hope Atom is fine, Mariana.

I would be very mad, but I think he would feel very bad about it and I would let that be his lesson.
About the issue of overworking and not being able to stay awake when he is with the kids, I would probably try to address that in a casual conversation. Casual so it will not seem confrontational, but at the same time serious. Maybe you could both brainstorm some solutions.
Take care.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

I hope Atom is fine, Mariana.

I would be very mad, but I think he would feel very bad about it and I would let that be his lesson.
About the issue of overworking and not being able to stay awake when he is with the kids, I would probably try to address that in a casual conversation. Casual so it will not seem confrontational, but at the same time serious. Maybe you could both brainstorm some solutions.
Take care.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

I hope Atom is fine, Mariana.

I would be very mad, but I think he would feel very bad about it and I would let that be his lesson.
About the issue of overworking and not being able to stay awake when he is with the kids, I would probably try to address that in a casual conversation. Casual so it will not seem confrontational, but at the same time serious. Maybe you could both brainstorm some solutions.
Take care.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

I hope Atom is fine, Mariana.

I would be very mad, but I think he would feel very bad about it and I would let that be his lesson.
About the issue of overworking and not being able to stay awake when he is with the kids, I would probably try to address that in a casual conversation. Casual so it will not seem confrontational, but at the same time serious. Maybe you could both brainstorm some solutions.
Take care.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

I hope Atom is fine, Mariana.

I would be very mad, but I think he would feel very bad about it and I would let that be his lesson.
About the issue of overworking and not being able to stay awake when he is with the kids, I would probably try to address that in a casual conversation. Casual so it will not seem confrontational, but at the same time serious. Maybe you could both brainstorm some solutions.
Take care.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

I hope Atom is fine, Mariana.

I would be very mad, but I think he would feel very bad about it and I would let that be his lesson.
About the issue of overworking and not being able to stay awake when he is with the kids, I would probably try to address that in a casual conversation. Casual so it will not seem confrontational, but at the same time serious. Maybe you could both brainstorm some solutions.
Take care.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

I hope Atom is fine, Mariana.

I would be very mad, but I think he would feel very bad about it and I would let that be his lesson.
About the issue of overworking and not being able to stay awake when he is with the kids, I would probably try to address that in a casual conversation. Casual so it will not seem confrontational, but at the same time serious. Maybe you could both brainstorm some solutions.
Take care.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

I hope Atom is fine, Mariana.

I would be very mad, but I think he would feel very bad about it and I would let that be his lesson.
About the issue of overworking and not being able to stay awake when he is with the kids, I would probably try to address that in a casual conversation. Casual so it will not seem confrontational, but at the same time serious. Maybe you could both brainstorm some solutions.
Take care.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[cbm]

I hope Atom is fine, Mariana.

I would be very mad, but I think he would feel very bad about it and I would let that be his lesson.
About the issue of overworking and not being able to stay awake when he is with the kids, I would probably try to address that in a casual conversation. Casual so it will not seem confrontational, but at the same time serious. Maybe you could both brainstorm some solutions.
Take care.

Claudia
DS 12/18/04

[buddyleebaby]

Argh. I have been through the same thing w/my dh. I know how you feel.
This is usually what ran through my mind:
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE TIRED? YOU DO NOT THINK THAT I AM TIRED? I AM THE ONE WHO GETS UP THREE TIMES A NIGHT TO NURSE THE BABY! YOU ARE HER FATHER- WAKE THE HELL UP AND TAKE CARE OF HER. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE HER PARENT, PERIOD. HOW CAN YOU STAY THERE SLEEPING AND NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT SHE IS SCREAMING AND NEEDS YOU???"
Luckily, I never said this these aloud, and when the moment had passd, I was able to sit down and talk with him, and we were able to work something out. Remember that it is not because they don't care or want to help. It is because they are so concerned with providing for their family that they are working themselves into the ground, and CAN'T stay awake. I try to remember a time when I couldn't keep my eyes open and imagine what it must feel like to go through every day like that.
In our case, my dh HAD to cut down on the number of hours he worked. There was just no way around it. It hurt us financially, but in the long run we are so much happier. He is healthier and is now able to play a really active role in dd's childhood. He is such a great dad and I love to see them play together w/o him struggling to stay awake.
And he is so much happier. He notices the new things she is doing and is delighted to just pretty much do anything with her. Just recently she has started letting him rock her to sleep and he gets all teary-eyed just sitting there singing to her.
So don't be too hard on him. It is hard in the moment to be understanding, esp. when your child is hurt (my dh dropped dd once, too) and you are overwhelmed, but he's not doing it on purpose. I hope you guys can find a solution that works for all of you.
Hugs.

[buddyleebaby]

Argh. I have been through the same thing w/my dh. I know how you feel.
This is usually what ran through my mind:
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE TIRED? YOU DO NOT THINK THAT I AM TIRED? I AM THE ONE WHO GETS UP THREE TIMES A NIGHT TO NURSE THE BABY! YOU ARE HER FATHER- WAKE THE HELL UP AND TAKE CARE OF HER. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE HER PARENT, PERIOD. HOW CAN YOU STAY THERE SLEEPING AND NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT SHE IS SCREAMING AND NEEDS YOU???"
Luckily, I never said this these aloud, and when the moment had passd, I was able to sit down and talk with him, and we were able to work something out. Remember that it is not because they don't care or want to help. It is because they are so concerned with providing for their family that they are working themselves into the ground, and CAN'T stay awake. I try to remember a time when I couldn't keep my eyes open and imagine what it must feel like to go through every day like that.
In our case, my dh HAD to cut down on the number of hours he worked. There was just no way around it. It hurt us financially, but in the long run we are so much happier. He is healthier and is now able to play a really active role in dd's childhood. He is such a great dad and I love to see them play together w/o him struggling to stay awake.
And he is so much happier. He notices the new things she is doing and is delighted to just pretty much do anything with her. Just recently she has started letting him rock her to sleep and he gets all teary-eyed just sitting there singing to her.
So don't be too hard on him. It is hard in the moment to be understanding, esp. when your child is hurt (my dh dropped dd once, too) and you are overwhelmed, but he's not doing it on purpose. I hope you guys can find a solution that works for all of you.
Hugs.

[buddyleebaby]

Argh. I have been through the same thing w/my dh. I know how you feel.
This is usually what ran through my mind:
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE TIRED? YOU DO NOT THINK THAT I AM TIRED? I AM THE ONE WHO GETS UP THREE TIMES A NIGHT TO NURSE THE BABY! YOU ARE HER FATHER- WAKE THE HELL UP AND TAKE CARE OF HER. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE HER PARENT, PERIOD. HOW CAN YOU STAY THERE SLEEPING AND NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT SHE IS SCREAMING AND NEEDS YOU???"
Luckily, I never said this these aloud, and when the moment had passd, I was able to sit down and talk with him, and we were able to work something out. Remember that it is not because they don't care or want to help. It is because they are so concerned with providing for their family that they are working themselves into the ground, and CAN'T stay awake. I try to remember a time when I couldn't keep my eyes open and imagine what it must feel like to go through every day like that.
In our case, my dh HAD to cut down on the number of hours he worked. There was just no way around it. It hurt us financially, but in the long run we are so much happier. He is healthier and is now able to play a really active role in dd's childhood. He is such a great dad and I love to see them play together w/o him struggling to stay awake.
And he is so much happier. He notices the new things she is doing and is delighted to just pretty much do anything with her. Just recently she has started letting him rock her to sleep and he gets all teary-eyed just sitting there singing to her.
So don't be too hard on him. It is hard in the moment to be understanding, esp. when your child is hurt (my dh dropped dd once, too) and you are overwhelmed, but he's not doing it on purpose. I hope you guys can find a solution that works for all of you.
Hugs.

[buddyleebaby]

Argh. I have been through the same thing w/my dh. I know how you feel.
This is usually what ran through my mind:
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE TIRED? YOU DO NOT THINK THAT I AM TIRED? I AM THE ONE WHO GETS UP THREE TIMES A NIGHT TO NURSE THE BABY! YOU ARE HER FATHER- WAKE THE HELL UP AND TAKE CARE OF HER. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE HER PARENT, PERIOD. HOW CAN YOU STAY THERE SLEEPING AND NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT SHE IS SCREAMING AND NEEDS YOU???"
Luckily, I never said this these aloud, and when the moment had passd, I was able to sit down and talk with him, and we were able to work something out. Remember that it is not because they don't care or want to help. It is because they are so concerned with providing for their family that they are working themselves into the ground, and CAN'T stay awake. I try to remember a time when I couldn't keep my eyes open and imagine what it must feel like to go through every day like that.
In our case, my dh HAD to cut down on the number of hours he worked. There was just no way around it. It hurt us financially, but in the long run we are so much happier. He is healthier and is now able to play a really active role in dd's childhood. He is such a great dad and I love to see them play together w/o him struggling to stay awake.
And he is so much happier. He notices the new things she is doing and is delighted to just pretty much do anything with her. Just recently she has started letting him rock her to sleep and he gets all teary-eyed just sitting there singing to her.
So don't be too hard on him. It is hard in the moment to be understanding, esp. when your child is hurt (my dh dropped dd once, too) and you are overwhelmed, but he's not doing it on purpose. I hope you guys can find a solution that works for all of you.
Hugs.

[buddyleebaby]

Argh. I have been through the same thing w/my dh. I know how you feel.
This is usually what ran through my mind:
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE TIRED? YOU DO NOT THINK THAT I AM TIRED? I AM THE ONE WHO GETS UP THREE TIMES A NIGHT TO NURSE THE BABY! YOU ARE HER FATHER- WAKE THE HELL UP AND TAKE CARE OF HER. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE HER PARENT, PERIOD. HOW CAN YOU STAY THERE SLEEPING AND NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT SHE IS SCREAMING AND NEEDS YOU???"
Luckily, I never said this these aloud, and when the moment had passd, I was able to sit down and talk with him, and we were able to work something out. Remember that it is not because they don't care or want to help. It is because they are so concerned with providing for their family that they are working themselves into the ground, and CAN'T stay awake. I try to remember a time when I couldn't keep my eyes open and imagine what it must feel like to go through every day like that.
In our case, my dh HAD to cut down on the number of hours he worked. There was just no way around it. It hurt us financially, but in the long run we are so much happier. He is healthier and is now able to play a really active role in dd's childhood. He is such a great dad and I love to see them play together w/o him struggling to stay awake.
And he is so much happier. He notices the new things she is doing and is delighted to just pretty much do anything with her. Just recently she has started letting him rock her to sleep and he gets all teary-eyed just sitting there singing to her.
So don't be too hard on him. It is hard in the moment to be understanding, esp. when your child is hurt (my dh dropped dd once, too) and you are overwhelmed, but he's not doing it on purpose. I hope you guys can find a solution that works for all of you.
Hugs.

[buddyleebaby]

Argh. I have been through the same thing w/my dh. I know how you feel.
This is usually what ran through my mind:
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE TIRED? YOU DO NOT THINK THAT I AM TIRED? I AM THE ONE WHO GETS UP THREE TIMES A NIGHT TO NURSE THE BABY! YOU ARE HER FATHER- WAKE THE HELL UP AND TAKE CARE OF HER. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE HER PARENT, PERIOD. HOW CAN YOU STAY THERE SLEEPING AND NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT SHE IS SCREAMING AND NEEDS YOU???"
Luckily, I never said this these aloud, and when the moment had passd, I was able to sit down and talk with him, and we were able to work something out. Remember that it is not because they don't care or want to help. It is because they are so concerned with providing for their family that they are working themselves into the ground, and CAN'T stay awake. I try to remember a time when I couldn't keep my eyes open and imagine what it must feel like to go through every day like that.
In our case, my dh HAD to cut down on the number of hours he worked. There was just no way around it. It hurt us financially, but in the long run we are so much happier. He is healthier and is now able to play a really active role in dd's childhood. He is such a great dad and I love to see them play together w/o him struggling to stay awake.
And he is so much happier. He notices the new things she is doing and is delighted to just pretty much do anything with her. Just recently she has started letting him rock her to sleep and he gets all teary-eyed just sitting there singing to her.
So don't be too hard on him. It is hard in the moment to be understanding, esp. when your child is hurt (my dh dropped dd once, too) and you are overwhelmed, but he's not doing it on purpose. I hope you guys can find a solution that works for all of you.
Hugs.

[buddyleebaby]

Argh. I have been through the same thing w/my dh. I know how you feel.
This is usually what ran through my mind:
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE TIRED? YOU DO NOT THINK THAT I AM TIRED? I AM THE ONE WHO GETS UP THREE TIMES A NIGHT TO NURSE THE BABY! YOU ARE HER FATHER- WAKE THE HELL UP AND TAKE CARE OF HER. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE HER PARENT, PERIOD. HOW CAN YOU STAY THERE SLEEPING AND NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT SHE IS SCREAMING AND NEEDS YOU???"
Luckily, I never said this these aloud, and when the moment had passd, I was able to sit down and talk with him, and we were able to work something out. Remember that it is not because they don't care or want to help. It is because they are so concerned with providing for their family that they are working themselves into the ground, and CAN'T stay awake. I try to remember a time when I couldn't keep my eyes open and imagine what it must feel like to go through every day like that.
In our case, my dh HAD to cut down on the number of hours he worked. There was just no way around it. It hurt us financially, but in the long run we are so much happier. He is healthier and is now able to play a really active role in dd's childhood. He is such a great dad and I love to see them play together w/o him struggling to stay awake.
And he is so much happier. He notices the new things she is doing and is delighted to just pretty much do anything with her. Just recently she has started letting him rock her to sleep and he gets all teary-eyed just sitting there singing to her.
So don't be too hard on him. It is hard in the moment to be understanding, esp. when your child is hurt (my dh dropped dd once, too) and you are overwhelmed, but he's not doing it on purpose. I hope you guys can find a solution that works for all of you.
Hugs.

[buddyleebaby]

Argh. I have been through the same thing w/my dh. I know how you feel.
This is usually what ran through my mind:
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE TIRED? YOU DO NOT THINK THAT I AM TIRED? I AM THE ONE WHO GETS UP THREE TIMES A NIGHT TO NURSE THE BABY! YOU ARE HER FATHER- WAKE THE HELL UP AND TAKE CARE OF HER. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE HER PARENT, PERIOD. HOW CAN YOU STAY THERE SLEEPING AND NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT SHE IS SCREAMING AND NEEDS YOU???"
Luckily, I never said this these aloud, and when the moment had passd, I was able to sit down and talk with him, and we were able to work something out. Remember that it is not because they don't care or want to help. It is because they are so concerned with providing for their family that they are working themselves into the ground, and CAN'T stay awake. I try to remember a time when I couldn't keep my eyes open and imagine what it must feel like to go through every day like that.
In our case, my dh HAD to cut down on the number of hours he worked. There was just no way around it. It hurt us financially, but in the long run we are so much happier. He is healthier and is now able to play a really active role in dd's childhood. He is such a great dad and I love to see them play together w/o him struggling to stay awake.
And he is so much happier. He notices the new things she is doing and is delighted to just pretty much do anything with her. Just recently she has started letting him rock her to sleep and he gets all teary-eyed just sitting there singing to her.
So don't be too hard on him. It is hard in the moment to be understanding, esp. when your child is hurt (my dh dropped dd once, too) and you are overwhelmed, but he's not doing it on purpose. I hope you guys can find a solution that works for all of you.
Hugs.

[buddyleebaby]

Argh. I have been through the same thing w/my dh. I know how you feel.
This is usually what ran through my mind:
"SO WHAT IF YOU'RE TIRED? YOU DO NOT THINK THAT I AM TIRED? I AM THE ONE WHO GETS UP THREE TIMES A NIGHT TO NURSE THE BABY! YOU ARE HER FATHER- WAKE THE HELL UP AND TAKE CARE OF HER. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE HER PARENT, PERIOD. HOW CAN YOU STAY THERE SLEEPING AND NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT SHE IS SCREAMING AND NEEDS YOU???"
Luckily, I never said this these aloud, and when the moment had passd, I was able to sit down and talk with him, and we were able to work something out. Remember that it is not because they don't care or want to help. It is because they are so concerned with providing for their family that they are working themselves into the ground, and CAN'T stay awake. I try to remember a time when I couldn't keep my eyes open and imagine what it must feel like to go through every day like that.
In our case, my dh HAD to cut down on the number of hours he worked. There was just no way around it. It hurt us financially, but in the long run we are so much happier. He is healthier and is now able to play a really active role in dd's childhood. He is such a great dad and I love to see them play together w/o him struggling to stay awake.
And he is so much happier. He notices the new things she is doing and is delighted to just pretty much do anything with her. Just recently she has started letting him rock her to sleep and he gets all teary-eyed just sitting there singing to her.
So don't be too hard on him. It is hard in the moment to be understanding, esp. when your child is hurt (my dh dropped dd once, too) and you are overwhelmed, but he's not doing it on purpose. I hope you guys can find a solution that works for all of you.
Hugs.

[chlobo]

Wow, I would certainly be angry and this definitely needs to be addressed. I'm sure the conversation will go better if you can do it when he is "relatively" refreshed. He definitely needs to readjust his priorities.

In the meantime, you might want to limit his involvement to "safe" activities (ie where child safety is an issue). Maybe let him deal with your older son rather than the baby since the baby is more likely to get hurt due to inattention (falling asleep)? Or maybe not let him drive with the kiddos if his alertness seems greatly affected?

[chlobo]

Wow, I would certainly be angry and this definitely needs to be addressed. I'm sure the conversation will go better if you can do it when he is "relatively" refreshed. He definitely needs to readjust his priorities.

In the meantime, you might want to limit his involvement to "safe" activities (ie where child safety is an issue). Maybe let him deal with your older son rather than the baby since the baby is more likely to get hurt due to inattention (falling asleep)? Or maybe not let him drive with the kiddos if his alertness seems greatly affected?

[chlobo]

Wow, I would certainly be angry and this definitely needs to be addressed. I'm sure the conversation will go better if you can do it when he is "relatively" refreshed. He definitely needs to readjust his priorities.

In the meantime, you might want to limit his involvement to "safe" activities (ie where child safety is an issue). Maybe let him deal with your older son rather than the baby since the baby is more likely to get hurt due to inattention (falling asleep)? Or maybe not let him drive with the kiddos if his alertness seems greatly affected?

[chlobo]

Wow, I would certainly be angry and this definitely needs to be addressed. I'm sure the conversation will go better if you can do it when he is "relatively" refreshed. He definitely needs to readjust his priorities.

In the meantime, you might want to limit his involvement to "safe" activities (ie where child safety is an issue). Maybe let him deal with your older son rather than the baby since the baby is more likely to get hurt due to inattention (falling asleep)? Or maybe not let him drive with the kiddos if his alertness seems greatly affected?

[chlobo]

Wow, I would certainly be angry and this definitely needs to be addressed. I'm sure the conversation will go better if you can do it when he is "relatively" refreshed. He definitely needs to readjust his priorities.

In the meantime, you might want to limit his involvement to "safe" activities (ie where child safety is an issue). Maybe let him deal with your older son rather than the baby since the baby is more likely to get hurt due to inattention (falling asleep)? Or maybe not let him drive with the kiddos if his alertness seems greatly affected?

[chlobo]

Wow, I would certainly be angry and this definitely needs to be addressed. I'm sure the conversation will go better if you can do it when he is "relatively" refreshed. He definitely needs to readjust his priorities.

In the meantime, you might want to limit his involvement to "safe" activities (ie where child safety is an issue). Maybe let him deal with your older son rather than the baby since the baby is more likely to get hurt due to inattention (falling asleep)? Or maybe not let him drive with the kiddos if his alertness seems greatly affected?

[chlobo]

Wow, I would certainly be angry and this definitely needs to be addressed. I'm sure the conversation will go better if you can do it when he is "relatively" refreshed. He definitely needs to readjust his priorities.

In the meantime, you might want to limit his involvement to "safe" activities (ie where child safety is an issue). Maybe let him deal with your older son rather than the baby since the baby is more likely to get hurt due to inattention (falling asleep)? Or maybe not let him drive with the kiddos if his alertness seems greatly affected?

[chlobo]

Wow, I would certainly be angry and this definitely needs to be addressed. I'm sure the conversation will go better if you can do it when he is "relatively" refreshed. He definitely needs to readjust his priorities.

In the meantime, you might want to limit his involvement to "safe" activities (ie where child safety is an issue). Maybe let him deal with your older son rather than the baby since the baby is more likely to get hurt due to inattention (falling asleep)? Or maybe not let him drive with the kiddos if his alertness seems greatly affected?

[chlobo]

Wow, I would certainly be angry and this definitely needs to be addressed. I'm sure the conversation will go better if you can do it when he is "relatively" refreshed. He definitely needs to readjust his priorities.

In the meantime, you might want to limit his involvement to "safe" activities (ie where child safety is an issue). Maybe let him deal with your older son rather than the baby since the baby is more likely to get hurt due to inattention (falling asleep)? Or maybe not let him drive with the kiddos if his alertness seems greatly affected?