DH is a mamas boy

[1ceng1]

I've been married for 6 yrs. DH is a mamas boy but doesn't think he is. I don't get along with MIL, never have. She blatantly disrespects my family who has been nothing but kind to her and DH. She put my kids second after her own needs. DH knows we don't get along all that well but still thinks it's not THAT bad.
DH is so into pleasing his mother that I am starting to think that everything he suggests has an ulterior motive. Like suggesting we all go to the beach, once I agree THEN he'll add that his mother would be there too. Or suggesting we go to a movie, THEN saying that he already asked MIL to babysit. I feel like he only asks me to do things to get his mother to see the kids. It's not my fault she's always too busy to see them. Trust me, DH would normally NEVER wants to go out and do anything date-like. I feel like he is manipulating me to please his mother.
DD's birthday just passed and I noticed most of the pics were of his mother, NONE of me! He marked them as his "favorites" in our photo software. This has been true of all holidays and birthday since the kids have been born. I even joked with MIL that we have more pics of her than of me. DH heard me say this but did not get the hint! (btw, he takes no pics of my family who adore the kids and see them often) He kisses her butt every time we see her (pecks on the cheek, making sure her every whim is accomodated). All this wouldn't bother me if MIL was at least a nice person to both me and my own mother. I feel as if he is turning a blind eye to her "other" side that is not this perfect mom he thinks of her. Sorry for babbling. It's just that it is starting to affect how I view DH. I feel manipulated. Any advice? Do I say something and risk him thinking I'm the B*&%h and his mom is a saint?

[1ceng1]

I've been married for 6 yrs. DH is a mamas boy but doesn't think he is. I don't get along with MIL, never have. She blatantly disrespects my family who has been nothing but kind to her and DH. She put my kids second after her own needs. DH knows we don't get along all that well but still thinks it's not THAT bad.
DH is so into pleasing his mother that I am starting to think that everything he suggests has an ulterior motive. Like suggesting we all go to the beach, once I agree THEN he'll add that his mother would be there too. Or suggesting we go to a movie, THEN saying that he already asked MIL to babysit. I feel like he only asks me to do things to get his mother to see the kids. It's not my fault she's always too busy to see them. Trust me, DH would normally NEVER wants to go out and do anything date-like. I feel like he is manipulating me to please his mother.
DD's birthday just passed and I noticed most of the pics were of his mother, NONE of me! He marked them as his "favorites" in our photo software. This has been true of all holidays and birthday since the kids have been born. I even joked with MIL that we have more pics of her than of me. DH heard me say this but did not get the hint! (btw, he takes no pics of my family who adore the kids and see them often) He kisses her butt every time we see her (pecks on the cheek, making sure her every whim is accomodated). All this wouldn't bother me if MIL was at least a nice person to both me and my own mother. I feel as if he is turning a blind eye to her "other" side that is not this perfect mom he thinks of her. Sorry for babbling. It's just that it is starting to affect how I view DH. I feel manipulated. Any advice? Do I say something and risk him thinking I'm the B*&%h and his mom is a saint?

[1ceng1]

I've been married for 6 yrs. DH is a mamas boy but doesn't think he is. I don't get along with MIL, never have. She blatantly disrespects my family who has been nothing but kind to her and DH. She put my kids second after her own needs. DH knows we don't get along all that well but still thinks it's not THAT bad.
DH is so into pleasing his mother that I am starting to think that everything he suggests has an ulterior motive. Like suggesting we all go to the beach, once I agree THEN he'll add that his mother would be there too. Or suggesting we go to a movie, THEN saying that he already asked MIL to babysit. I feel like he only asks me to do things to get his mother to see the kids. It's not my fault she's always too busy to see them. Trust me, DH would normally NEVER wants to go out and do anything date-like. I feel like he is manipulating me to please his mother.
DD's birthday just passed and I noticed most of the pics were of his mother, NONE of me! He marked them as his "favorites" in our photo software. This has been true of all holidays and birthday since the kids have been born. I even joked with MIL that we have more pics of her than of me. DH heard me say this but did not get the hint! (btw, he takes no pics of my family who adore the kids and see them often) He kisses her butt every time we see her (pecks on the cheek, making sure her every whim is accomodated). All this wouldn't bother me if MIL was at least a nice person to both me and my own mother. I feel as if he is turning a blind eye to her "other" side that is not this perfect mom he thinks of her. Sorry for babbling. It's just that it is starting to affect how I view DH. I feel manipulated. Any advice? Do I say something and risk him thinking I'm the B*&%h and his mom is a saint?

[1ceng1]

I've been married for 6 yrs. DH is a mamas boy but doesn't think he is. I don't get along with MIL, never have. She blatantly disrespects my family who has been nothing but kind to her and DH. She put my kids second after her own needs. DH knows we don't get along all that well but still thinks it's not THAT bad.
DH is so into pleasing his mother that I am starting to think that everything he suggests has an ulterior motive. Like suggesting we all go to the beach, once I agree THEN he'll add that his mother would be there too. Or suggesting we go to a movie, THEN saying that he already asked MIL to babysit. I feel like he only asks me to do things to get his mother to see the kids. It's not my fault she's always too busy to see them. Trust me, DH would normally NEVER wants to go out and do anything date-like. I feel like he is manipulating me to please his mother.
DD's birthday just passed and I noticed most of the pics were of his mother, NONE of me! He marked them as his "favorites" in our photo software. This has been true of all holidays and birthday since the kids have been born. I even joked with MIL that we have more pics of her than of me. DH heard me say this but did not get the hint! (btw, he takes no pics of my family who adore the kids and see them often) He kisses her butt every time we see her (pecks on the cheek, making sure her every whim is accomodated). All this wouldn't bother me if MIL was at least a nice person to both me and my own mother. I feel as if he is turning a blind eye to her "other" side that is not this perfect mom he thinks of her. Sorry for babbling. It's just that it is starting to affect how I view DH. I feel manipulated. Any advice? Do I say something and risk him thinking I'm the B*&%h and his mom is a saint?

[1ceng1]

I've been married for 6 yrs. DH is a mamas boy but doesn't think he is. I don't get along with MIL, never have. She blatantly disrespects my family who has been nothing but kind to her and DH. She put my kids second after her own needs. DH knows we don't get along all that well but still thinks it's not THAT bad.
DH is so into pleasing his mother that I am starting to think that everything he suggests has an ulterior motive. Like suggesting we all go to the beach, once I agree THEN he'll add that his mother would be there too. Or suggesting we go to a movie, THEN saying that he already asked MIL to babysit. I feel like he only asks me to do things to get his mother to see the kids. It's not my fault she's always too busy to see them. Trust me, DH would normally NEVER wants to go out and do anything date-like. I feel like he is manipulating me to please his mother.
DD's birthday just passed and I noticed most of the pics were of his mother, NONE of me! He marked them as his "favorites" in our photo software. This has been true of all holidays and birthday since the kids have been born. I even joked with MIL that we have more pics of her than of me. DH heard me say this but did not get the hint! (btw, he takes no pics of my family who adore the kids and see them often) He kisses her butt every time we see her (pecks on the cheek, making sure her every whim is accomodated). All this wouldn't bother me if MIL was at least a nice person to both me and my own mother. I feel as if he is turning a blind eye to her "other" side that is not this perfect mom he thinks of her. Sorry for babbling. It's just that it is starting to affect how I view DH. I feel manipulated. Any advice? Do I say something and risk him thinking I'm the B*&%h and his mom is a saint?

[1ceng1]

I've been married for 6 yrs. DH is a mamas boy but doesn't think he is. I don't get along with MIL, never have. She blatantly disrespects my family who has been nothing but kind to her and DH. She put my kids second after her own needs. DH knows we don't get along all that well but still thinks it's not THAT bad.
DH is so into pleasing his mother that I am starting to think that everything he suggests has an ulterior motive. Like suggesting we all go to the beach, once I agree THEN he'll add that his mother would be there too. Or suggesting we go to a movie, THEN saying that he already asked MIL to babysit. I feel like he only asks me to do things to get his mother to see the kids. It's not my fault she's always too busy to see them. Trust me, DH would normally NEVER wants to go out and do anything date-like. I feel like he is manipulating me to please his mother.
DD's birthday just passed and I noticed most of the pics were of his mother, NONE of me! He marked them as his "favorites" in our photo software. This has been true of all holidays and birthday since the kids have been born. I even joked with MIL that we have more pics of her than of me. DH heard me say this but did not get the hint! (btw, he takes no pics of my family who adore the kids and see them often) He kisses her butt every time we see her (pecks on the cheek, making sure her every whim is accomodated). All this wouldn't bother me if MIL was at least a nice person to both me and my own mother. I feel as if he is turning a blind eye to her "other" side that is not this perfect mom he thinks of her. Sorry for babbling. It's just that it is starting to affect how I view DH. I feel manipulated. Any advice? Do I say something and risk him thinking I'm the B*&%h and his mom is a saint?

[1ceng1]

I've been married for 6 yrs. DH is a mamas boy but doesn't think he is. I don't get along with MIL, never have. She blatantly disrespects my family who has been nothing but kind to her and DH. She put my kids second after her own needs. DH knows we don't get along all that well but still thinks it's not THAT bad.
DH is so into pleasing his mother that I am starting to think that everything he suggests has an ulterior motive. Like suggesting we all go to the beach, once I agree THEN he'll add that his mother would be there too. Or suggesting we go to a movie, THEN saying that he already asked MIL to babysit. I feel like he only asks me to do things to get his mother to see the kids. It's not my fault she's always too busy to see them. Trust me, DH would normally NEVER wants to go out and do anything date-like. I feel like he is manipulating me to please his mother.
DD's birthday just passed and I noticed most of the pics were of his mother, NONE of me! He marked them as his "favorites" in our photo software. This has been true of all holidays and birthday since the kids have been born. I even joked with MIL that we have more pics of her than of me. DH heard me say this but did not get the hint! (btw, he takes no pics of my family who adore the kids and see them often) He kisses her butt every time we see her (pecks on the cheek, making sure her every whim is accomodated). All this wouldn't bother me if MIL was at least a nice person to both me and my own mother. I feel as if he is turning a blind eye to her "other" side that is not this perfect mom he thinks of her. Sorry for babbling. It's just that it is starting to affect how I view DH. I feel manipulated. Any advice? Do I say something and risk him thinking I'm the B*&%h and his mom is a saint?

[1ceng1]

I've been married for 6 yrs. DH is a mamas boy but doesn't think he is. I don't get along with MIL, never have. She blatantly disrespects my family who has been nothing but kind to her and DH. She put my kids second after her own needs. DH knows we don't get along all that well but still thinks it's not THAT bad.
DH is so into pleasing his mother that I am starting to think that everything he suggests has an ulterior motive. Like suggesting we all go to the beach, once I agree THEN he'll add that his mother would be there too. Or suggesting we go to a movie, THEN saying that he already asked MIL to babysit. I feel like he only asks me to do things to get his mother to see the kids. It's not my fault she's always too busy to see them. Trust me, DH would normally NEVER wants to go out and do anything date-like. I feel like he is manipulating me to please his mother.
DD's birthday just passed and I noticed most of the pics were of his mother, NONE of me! He marked them as his "favorites" in our photo software. This has been true of all holidays and birthday since the kids have been born. I even joked with MIL that we have more pics of her than of me. DH heard me say this but did not get the hint! (btw, he takes no pics of my family who adore the kids and see them often) He kisses her butt every time we see her (pecks on the cheek, making sure her every whim is accomodated). All this wouldn't bother me if MIL was at least a nice person to both me and my own mother. I feel as if he is turning a blind eye to her "other" side that is not this perfect mom he thinks of her. Sorry for babbling. It's just that it is starting to affect how I view DH. I feel manipulated. Any advice? Do I say something and risk him thinking I'm the B*&%h and his mom is a saint?

[1ceng1]

I've been married for 6 yrs. DH is a mamas boy but doesn't think he is. I don't get along with MIL, never have. She blatantly disrespects my family who has been nothing but kind to her and DH. She put my kids second after her own needs. DH knows we don't get along all that well but still thinks it's not THAT bad.
DH is so into pleasing his mother that I am starting to think that everything he suggests has an ulterior motive. Like suggesting we all go to the beach, once I agree THEN he'll add that his mother would be there too. Or suggesting we go to a movie, THEN saying that he already asked MIL to babysit. I feel like he only asks me to do things to get his mother to see the kids. It's not my fault she's always too busy to see them. Trust me, DH would normally NEVER wants to go out and do anything date-like. I feel like he is manipulating me to please his mother.
DD's birthday just passed and I noticed most of the pics were of his mother, NONE of me! He marked them as his "favorites" in our photo software. This has been true of all holidays and birthday since the kids have been born. I even joked with MIL that we have more pics of her than of me. DH heard me say this but did not get the hint! (btw, he takes no pics of my family who adore the kids and see them often) He kisses her butt every time we see her (pecks on the cheek, making sure her every whim is accomodated). All this wouldn't bother me if MIL was at least a nice person to both me and my own mother. I feel as if he is turning a blind eye to her "other" side that is not this perfect mom he thinks of her. Sorry for babbling. It's just that it is starting to affect how I view DH. I feel manipulated. Any advice? Do I say something and risk him thinking I'm the B*&%h and his mom is a saint?

[1ceng1]

I've been married for 6 yrs. DH is a mamas boy but doesn't think he is. I don't get along with MIL, never have. She blatantly disrespects my family who has been nothing but kind to her and DH. She put my kids second after her own needs. DH knows we don't get along all that well but still thinks it's not THAT bad.
DH is so into pleasing his mother that I am starting to think that everything he suggests has an ulterior motive. Like suggesting we all go to the beach, once I agree THEN he'll add that his mother would be there too. Or suggesting we go to a movie, THEN saying that he already asked MIL to babysit. I feel like he only asks me to do things to get his mother to see the kids. It's not my fault she's always too busy to see them. Trust me, DH would normally NEVER wants to go out and do anything date-like. I feel like he is manipulating me to please his mother.
DD's birthday just passed and I noticed most of the pics were of his mother, NONE of me! He marked them as his "favorites" in our photo software. This has been true of all holidays and birthday since the kids have been born. I even joked with MIL that we have more pics of her than of me. DH heard me say this but did not get the hint! (btw, he takes no pics of my family who adore the kids and see them often) He kisses her butt every time we see her (pecks on the cheek, making sure her every whim is accomodated). All this wouldn't bother me if MIL was at least a nice person to both me and my own mother. I feel as if he is turning a blind eye to her "other" side that is not this perfect mom he thinks of her. Sorry for babbling. It's just that it is starting to affect how I view DH. I feel manipulated. Any advice? Do I say something and risk him thinking I'm the B*&%h and his mom is a saint?

[abigailsmom]

No advice, but I am hoping that you do what you need to do. I think that the longer you hold something in the worse it gets.

Hugs!!!

[abigailsmom]

No advice, but I am hoping that you do what you need to do. I think that the longer you hold something in the worse it gets.

Hugs!!!

[abigailsmom]

No advice, but I am hoping that you do what you need to do. I think that the longer you hold something in the worse it gets.

Hugs!!!

[abigailsmom]

No advice, but I am hoping that you do what you need to do. I think that the longer you hold something in the worse it gets.

Hugs!!!

[abigailsmom]

No advice, but I am hoping that you do what you need to do. I think that the longer you hold something in the worse it gets.

Hugs!!!

[abigailsmom]

No advice, but I am hoping that you do what you need to do. I think that the longer you hold something in the worse it gets.

Hugs!!!

[abigailsmom]

No advice, but I am hoping that you do what you need to do. I think that the longer you hold something in the worse it gets.

Hugs!!!

[abigailsmom]

No advice, but I am hoping that you do what you need to do. I think that the longer you hold something in the worse it gets.

Hugs!!!

[abigailsmom]

No advice, but I am hoping that you do what you need to do. I think that the longer you hold something in the worse it gets.

Hugs!!!

[abigailsmom]

No advice, but I am hoping that you do what you need to do. I think that the longer you hold something in the worse it gets.

Hugs!!!

[glamourgirlpink]

That's a hard situation! :(
Since your DH normally doesn't initiate outings, maybe you can just flat out decline on the occasions that he does, since he's only doing it to get his mother involved...My DH is kind of like that with his mother too. The good thing is that she doesn't live nearby (plus he gets along with my family for the most part) so I don't have to deal with it too often. It did help me to understand why he feels the need to constantly please her (she's always been really critical of DH and so I think he feels like he constantly has to yield to her wishes so that he doesn't lose what little love she seems to have for him) and to honestly tell him how I feel and why. He's not a very good communicator and is super defensive about this situation, but I've found our discussions to be quite constructive when I bring it up at a time when he's relaxed and not already dwelling on the situation. You do have to take the risk that he'll side with his mother, but maybe its better that you know exactly where his strongest loyalties lie now. Maybe if you tell him how hurt and betrayed it makes you feel that he manipulates you to accomodate her, it'll help to soften his heart. After all, you are his wife and he should be most concerned about how you feel and what makes you happy...
I'm so sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this somehow helps a little! Just know that you aren't the only one in this situation!

[glamourgirlpink]

That's a hard situation! :(
Since your DH normally doesn't initiate outings, maybe you can just flat out decline on the occasions that he does, since he's only doing it to get his mother involved...My DH is kind of like that with his mother too. The good thing is that she doesn't live nearby (plus he gets along with my family for the most part) so I don't have to deal with it too often. It did help me to understand why he feels the need to constantly please her (she's always been really critical of DH and so I think he feels like he constantly has to yield to her wishes so that he doesn't lose what little love she seems to have for him) and to honestly tell him how I feel and why. He's not a very good communicator and is super defensive about this situation, but I've found our discussions to be quite constructive when I bring it up at a time when he's relaxed and not already dwelling on the situation. You do have to take the risk that he'll side with his mother, but maybe its better that you know exactly where his strongest loyalties lie now. Maybe if you tell him how hurt and betrayed it makes you feel that he manipulates you to accomodate her, it'll help to soften his heart. After all, you are his wife and he should be most concerned about how you feel and what makes you happy...
I'm so sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this somehow helps a little! Just know that you aren't the only one in this situation!

[glamourgirlpink]

That's a hard situation! :(
Since your DH normally doesn't initiate outings, maybe you can just flat out decline on the occasions that he does, since he's only doing it to get his mother involved...My DH is kind of like that with his mother too. The good thing is that she doesn't live nearby (plus he gets along with my family for the most part) so I don't have to deal with it too often. It did help me to understand why he feels the need to constantly please her (she's always been really critical of DH and so I think he feels like he constantly has to yield to her wishes so that he doesn't lose what little love she seems to have for him) and to honestly tell him how I feel and why. He's not a very good communicator and is super defensive about this situation, but I've found our discussions to be quite constructive when I bring it up at a time when he's relaxed and not already dwelling on the situation. You do have to take the risk that he'll side with his mother, but maybe its better that you know exactly where his strongest loyalties lie now. Maybe if you tell him how hurt and betrayed it makes you feel that he manipulates you to accomodate her, it'll help to soften his heart. After all, you are his wife and he should be most concerned about how you feel and what makes you happy...
I'm so sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this somehow helps a little! Just know that you aren't the only one in this situation!

[glamourgirlpink]

That's a hard situation! :(
Since your DH normally doesn't initiate outings, maybe you can just flat out decline on the occasions that he does, since he's only doing it to get his mother involved...My DH is kind of like that with his mother too. The good thing is that she doesn't live nearby (plus he gets along with my family for the most part) so I don't have to deal with it too often. It did help me to understand why he feels the need to constantly please her (she's always been really critical of DH and so I think he feels like he constantly has to yield to her wishes so that he doesn't lose what little love she seems to have for him) and to honestly tell him how I feel and why. He's not a very good communicator and is super defensive about this situation, but I've found our discussions to be quite constructive when I bring it up at a time when he's relaxed and not already dwelling on the situation. You do have to take the risk that he'll side with his mother, but maybe its better that you know exactly where his strongest loyalties lie now. Maybe if you tell him how hurt and betrayed it makes you feel that he manipulates you to accomodate her, it'll help to soften his heart. After all, you are his wife and he should be most concerned about how you feel and what makes you happy...
I'm so sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this somehow helps a little! Just know that you aren't the only one in this situation!

[glamourgirlpink]

That's a hard situation! :(
Since your DH normally doesn't initiate outings, maybe you can just flat out decline on the occasions that he does, since he's only doing it to get his mother involved...My DH is kind of like that with his mother too. The good thing is that she doesn't live nearby (plus he gets along with my family for the most part) so I don't have to deal with it too often. It did help me to understand why he feels the need to constantly please her (she's always been really critical of DH and so I think he feels like he constantly has to yield to her wishes so that he doesn't lose what little love she seems to have for him) and to honestly tell him how I feel and why. He's not a very good communicator and is super defensive about this situation, but I've found our discussions to be quite constructive when I bring it up at a time when he's relaxed and not already dwelling on the situation. You do have to take the risk that he'll side with his mother, but maybe its better that you know exactly where his strongest loyalties lie now. Maybe if you tell him how hurt and betrayed it makes you feel that he manipulates you to accomodate her, it'll help to soften his heart. After all, you are his wife and he should be most concerned about how you feel and what makes you happy...
I'm so sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this somehow helps a little! Just know that you aren't the only one in this situation!

[glamourgirlpink]

That's a hard situation! :(
Since your DH normally doesn't initiate outings, maybe you can just flat out decline on the occasions that he does, since he's only doing it to get his mother involved...My DH is kind of like that with his mother too. The good thing is that she doesn't live nearby (plus he gets along with my family for the most part) so I don't have to deal with it too often. It did help me to understand why he feels the need to constantly please her (she's always been really critical of DH and so I think he feels like he constantly has to yield to her wishes so that he doesn't lose what little love she seems to have for him) and to honestly tell him how I feel and why. He's not a very good communicator and is super defensive about this situation, but I've found our discussions to be quite constructive when I bring it up at a time when he's relaxed and not already dwelling on the situation. You do have to take the risk that he'll side with his mother, but maybe its better that you know exactly where his strongest loyalties lie now. Maybe if you tell him how hurt and betrayed it makes you feel that he manipulates you to accomodate her, it'll help to soften his heart. After all, you are his wife and he should be most concerned about how you feel and what makes you happy...
I'm so sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this somehow helps a little! Just know that you aren't the only one in this situation!

[glamourgirlpink]

That's a hard situation! :(
Since your DH normally doesn't initiate outings, maybe you can just flat out decline on the occasions that he does, since he's only doing it to get his mother involved...My DH is kind of like that with his mother too. The good thing is that she doesn't live nearby (plus he gets along with my family for the most part) so I don't have to deal with it too often. It did help me to understand why he feels the need to constantly please her (she's always been really critical of DH and so I think he feels like he constantly has to yield to her wishes so that he doesn't lose what little love she seems to have for him) and to honestly tell him how I feel and why. He's not a very good communicator and is super defensive about this situation, but I've found our discussions to be quite constructive when I bring it up at a time when he's relaxed and not already dwelling on the situation. You do have to take the risk that he'll side with his mother, but maybe its better that you know exactly where his strongest loyalties lie now. Maybe if you tell him how hurt and betrayed it makes you feel that he manipulates you to accomodate her, it'll help to soften his heart. After all, you are his wife and he should be most concerned about how you feel and what makes you happy...
I'm so sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this somehow helps a little! Just know that you aren't the only one in this situation!

[glamourgirlpink]

That's a hard situation! :(
Since your DH normally doesn't initiate outings, maybe you can just flat out decline on the occasions that he does, since he's only doing it to get his mother involved...My DH is kind of like that with his mother too. The good thing is that she doesn't live nearby (plus he gets along with my family for the most part) so I don't have to deal with it too often. It did help me to understand why he feels the need to constantly please her (she's always been really critical of DH and so I think he feels like he constantly has to yield to her wishes so that he doesn't lose what little love she seems to have for him) and to honestly tell him how I feel and why. He's not a very good communicator and is super defensive about this situation, but I've found our discussions to be quite constructive when I bring it up at a time when he's relaxed and not already dwelling on the situation. You do have to take the risk that he'll side with his mother, but maybe its better that you know exactly where his strongest loyalties lie now. Maybe if you tell him how hurt and betrayed it makes you feel that he manipulates you to accomodate her, it'll help to soften his heart. After all, you are his wife and he should be most concerned about how you feel and what makes you happy...
I'm so sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this somehow helps a little! Just know that you aren't the only one in this situation!

[glamourgirlpink]

That's a hard situation! :(
Since your DH normally doesn't initiate outings, maybe you can just flat out decline on the occasions that he does, since he's only doing it to get his mother involved...My DH is kind of like that with his mother too. The good thing is that she doesn't live nearby (plus he gets along with my family for the most part) so I don't have to deal with it too often. It did help me to understand why he feels the need to constantly please her (she's always been really critical of DH and so I think he feels like he constantly has to yield to her wishes so that he doesn't lose what little love she seems to have for him) and to honestly tell him how I feel and why. He's not a very good communicator and is super defensive about this situation, but I've found our discussions to be quite constructive when I bring it up at a time when he's relaxed and not already dwelling on the situation. You do have to take the risk that he'll side with his mother, but maybe its better that you know exactly where his strongest loyalties lie now. Maybe if you tell him how hurt and betrayed it makes you feel that he manipulates you to accomodate her, it'll help to soften his heart. After all, you are his wife and he should be most concerned about how you feel and what makes you happy...
I'm so sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this somehow helps a little! Just know that you aren't the only one in this situation!

[glamourgirlpink]

That's a hard situation! :(
Since your DH normally doesn't initiate outings, maybe you can just flat out decline on the occasions that he does, since he's only doing it to get his mother involved...My DH is kind of like that with his mother too. The good thing is that she doesn't live nearby (plus he gets along with my family for the most part) so I don't have to deal with it too often. It did help me to understand why he feels the need to constantly please her (she's always been really critical of DH and so I think he feels like he constantly has to yield to her wishes so that he doesn't lose what little love she seems to have for him) and to honestly tell him how I feel and why. He's not a very good communicator and is super defensive about this situation, but I've found our discussions to be quite constructive when I bring it up at a time when he's relaxed and not already dwelling on the situation. You do have to take the risk that he'll side with his mother, but maybe its better that you know exactly where his strongest loyalties lie now. Maybe if you tell him how hurt and betrayed it makes you feel that he manipulates you to accomodate her, it'll help to soften his heart. After all, you are his wife and he should be most concerned about how you feel and what makes you happy...
I'm so sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this somehow helps a little! Just know that you aren't the only one in this situation!

[amp]

I don't have a speck of advice, but can totally relate. Hang in there.

[amp]

I don't have a speck of advice, but can totally relate. Hang in there.

[amp]

I don't have a speck of advice, but can totally relate. Hang in there.

[amp]

I don't have a speck of advice, but can totally relate. Hang in there.

[amp]

I don't have a speck of advice, but can totally relate. Hang in there.

[amp]

I don't have a speck of advice, but can totally relate. Hang in there.

[amp]

I don't have a speck of advice, but can totally relate. Hang in there.

[amp]

I don't have a speck of advice, but can totally relate. Hang in there.

[amp]

I don't have a speck of advice, but can totally relate. Hang in there.

[amp]

I don't have a speck of advice, but can totally relate. Hang in there.

[punkrockmama]

Yeah, I think you need to say something NOW. No little hints or jabs, outright tell him how you feel about what's been going on. The longer you wait the more resentment will build up, and then one day you'll REALLY go off on him and he won't listen to what you're saying.

Good luck!

[punkrockmama]

Yeah, I think you need to say something NOW. No little hints or jabs, outright tell him how you feel about what's been going on. The longer you wait the more resentment will build up, and then one day you'll REALLY go off on him and he won't listen to what you're saying.

Good luck!

[punkrockmama]

Yeah, I think you need to say something NOW. No little hints or jabs, outright tell him how you feel about what's been going on. The longer you wait the more resentment will build up, and then one day you'll REALLY go off on him and he won't listen to what you're saying.

Good luck!

[punkrockmama]

Yeah, I think you need to say something NOW. No little hints or jabs, outright tell him how you feel about what's been going on. The longer you wait the more resentment will build up, and then one day you'll REALLY go off on him and he won't listen to what you're saying.

Good luck!

[punkrockmama]

Yeah, I think you need to say something NOW. No little hints or jabs, outright tell him how you feel about what's been going on. The longer you wait the more resentment will build up, and then one day you'll REALLY go off on him and he won't listen to what you're saying.

Good luck!

[punkrockmama]

Yeah, I think you need to say something NOW. No little hints or jabs, outright tell him how you feel about what's been going on. The longer you wait the more resentment will build up, and then one day you'll REALLY go off on him and he won't listen to what you're saying.

Good luck!

[punkrockmama]

Yeah, I think you need to say something NOW. No little hints or jabs, outright tell him how you feel about what's been going on. The longer you wait the more resentment will build up, and then one day you'll REALLY go off on him and he won't listen to what you're saying.

Good luck!

[punkrockmama]

Yeah, I think you need to say something NOW. No little hints or jabs, outright tell him how you feel about what's been going on. The longer you wait the more resentment will build up, and then one day you'll REALLY go off on him and he won't listen to what you're saying.

Good luck!

[punkrockmama]

Yeah, I think you need to say something NOW. No little hints or jabs, outright tell him how you feel about what's been going on. The longer you wait the more resentment will build up, and then one day you'll REALLY go off on him and he won't listen to what you're saying.

Good luck!

[punkrockmama]

Yeah, I think you need to say something NOW. No little hints or jabs, outright tell him how you feel about what's been going on. The longer you wait the more resentment will build up, and then one day you'll REALLY go off on him and he won't listen to what you're saying.

Good luck!

[kgoble78]

That must be really hard. I hope things get better.