what am i doing!!!!!!!!!!

[bcky2]

ok, i am too young for a mid life crisis! what is my brain doing to me! first off i quit smoking 6 years ago, yes 6! i was at 2 packs a day and went cold turkey. i have been thinking about smoking for the past week nonstop. it is all that is on my mind. from the minute that i wake up till the minute i fall asleep. so today i cave in and have one x( i thought that oh i will have one, it will taste like crap and i will choke on it. nope, it was like i never missed a day. so stupid thing number one.

stupid thing number two. now i dont know if this is bad or not. i looked up and wrote a letter someone that i used to date like um, 15 years ago befor dh. he was a few years older then me and we didnt have the greatest relationship(who does at that age) and i have always felt like i never got to tell him that the things he did to me and said to me were so wrong and how much it hurt. i have had dreams about getting to confront him and tell him how i feel. im not talking about little things, i mean major issues that i still have problems with. i was a huge alcoholic by the age of 13/14 to the point where i would have weeks at a time that i cant remember, i got into some drugs, i had been to some of the worst crack houses in my town, he was abusive in many ways, it was just soooooooooo bad. i have this desire to ask him why he did what he did and for some reason i guess i just want to know if he feels bad in any way at all for what he did. so i wrote the letter to him and said that if he remembers me to contact me via email so that maybe we can talk. i did let him know that i am married with kids so he doesnt think im looking to pick up where we left off ;) am i wrong to want to confront him?

and third, all of a sudden i am in a panic to loose all the weight i put on when i quit smoking and had 2 babies. and when i think of all the right ways to do it i think that it will take too long. i am to the point that other then my party this weekend i have been trying not to eat at all. i know that this is sooooo stupid but i just cant think straight for some reason. all i can think is if i dont eat, work out a ton, and pick up smoking agian to take the place of eating then i can loose it nice and fast. and im not talking 5-10lbs, im talking some major lbs here.

have i gone off the deep end or what???????????? if this is 30 i dont want to see 40!

[bcky2]

ok, i am too young for a mid life crisis! what is my brain doing to me! first off i quit smoking 6 years ago, yes 6! i was at 2 packs a day and went cold turkey. i have been thinking about smoking for the past week nonstop. it is all that is on my mind. from the minute that i wake up till the minute i fall asleep. so today i cave in and have one x( i thought that oh i will have one, it will taste like crap and i will choke on it. nope, it was like i never missed a day. so stupid thing number one.

stupid thing number two. now i dont know if this is bad or not. i looked up and wrote a letter someone that i used to date like um, 15 years ago befor dh. he was a few years older then me and we didnt have the greatest relationship(who does at that age) and i have always felt like i never got to tell him that the things he did to me and said to me were so wrong and how much it hurt. i have had dreams about getting to confront him and tell him how i feel. im not talking about little things, i mean major issues that i still have problems with. i was a huge alcoholic by the age of 13/14 to the point where i would have weeks at a time that i cant remember, i got into some drugs, i had been to some of the worst crack houses in my town, he was abusive in many ways, it was just soooooooooo bad. i have this desire to ask him why he did what he did and for some reason i guess i just want to know if he feels bad in any way at all for what he did. so i wrote the letter to him and said that if he remembers me to contact me via email so that maybe we can talk. i did let him know that i am married with kids so he doesnt think im looking to pick up where we left off ;) am i wrong to want to confront him?

and third, all of a sudden i am in a panic to loose all the weight i put on when i quit smoking and had 2 babies. and when i think of all the right ways to do it i think that it will take too long. i am to the point that other then my party this weekend i have been trying not to eat at all. i know that this is sooooo stupid but i just cant think straight for some reason. all i can think is if i dont eat, work out a ton, and pick up smoking agian to take the place of eating then i can loose it nice and fast. and im not talking 5-10lbs, im talking some major lbs here.

have i gone off the deep end or what???????????? if this is 30 i dont want to see 40!

[bcky2]

ok, i am too young for a mid life crisis! what is my brain doing to me! first off i quit smoking 6 years ago, yes 6! i was at 2 packs a day and went cold turkey. i have been thinking about smoking for the past week nonstop. it is all that is on my mind. from the minute that i wake up till the minute i fall asleep. so today i cave in and have one x( i thought that oh i will have one, it will taste like crap and i will choke on it. nope, it was like i never missed a day. so stupid thing number one.

stupid thing number two. now i dont know if this is bad or not. i looked up and wrote a letter someone that i used to date like um, 15 years ago befor dh. he was a few years older then me and we didnt have the greatest relationship(who does at that age) and i have always felt like i never got to tell him that the things he did to me and said to me were so wrong and how much it hurt. i have had dreams about getting to confront him and tell him how i feel. im not talking about little things, i mean major issues that i still have problems with. i was a huge alcoholic by the age of 13/14 to the point where i would have weeks at a time that i cant remember, i got into some drugs, i had been to some of the worst crack houses in my town, he was abusive in many ways, it was just soooooooooo bad. i have this desire to ask him why he did what he did and for some reason i guess i just want to know if he feels bad in any way at all for what he did. so i wrote the letter to him and said that if he remembers me to contact me via email so that maybe we can talk. i did let him know that i am married with kids so he doesnt think im looking to pick up where we left off ;) am i wrong to want to confront him?

and third, all of a sudden i am in a panic to loose all the weight i put on when i quit smoking and had 2 babies. and when i think of all the right ways to do it i think that it will take too long. i am to the point that other then my party this weekend i have been trying not to eat at all. i know that this is sooooo stupid but i just cant think straight for some reason. all i can think is if i dont eat, work out a ton, and pick up smoking agian to take the place of eating then i can loose it nice and fast. and im not talking 5-10lbs, im talking some major lbs here.

have i gone off the deep end or what???????????? if this is 30 i dont want to see 40!

[bcky2]

ok, i am too young for a mid life crisis! what is my brain doing to me! first off i quit smoking 6 years ago, yes 6! i was at 2 packs a day and went cold turkey. i have been thinking about smoking for the past week nonstop. it is all that is on my mind. from the minute that i wake up till the minute i fall asleep. so today i cave in and have one x( i thought that oh i will have one, it will taste like crap and i will choke on it. nope, it was like i never missed a day. so stupid thing number one.

stupid thing number two. now i dont know if this is bad or not. i looked up and wrote a letter someone that i used to date like um, 15 years ago befor dh. he was a few years older then me and we didnt have the greatest relationship(who does at that age) and i have always felt like i never got to tell him that the things he did to me and said to me were so wrong and how much it hurt. i have had dreams about getting to confront him and tell him how i feel. im not talking about little things, i mean major issues that i still have problems with. i was a huge alcoholic by the age of 13/14 to the point where i would have weeks at a time that i cant remember, i got into some drugs, i had been to some of the worst crack houses in my town, he was abusive in many ways, it was just soooooooooo bad. i have this desire to ask him why he did what he did and for some reason i guess i just want to know if he feels bad in any way at all for what he did. so i wrote the letter to him and said that if he remembers me to contact me via email so that maybe we can talk. i did let him know that i am married with kids so he doesnt think im looking to pick up where we left off ;) am i wrong to want to confront him?

and third, all of a sudden i am in a panic to loose all the weight i put on when i quit smoking and had 2 babies. and when i think of all the right ways to do it i think that it will take too long. i am to the point that other then my party this weekend i have been trying not to eat at all. i know that this is sooooo stupid but i just cant think straight for some reason. all i can think is if i dont eat, work out a ton, and pick up smoking agian to take the place of eating then i can loose it nice and fast. and im not talking 5-10lbs, im talking some major lbs here.

have i gone off the deep end or what???????????? if this is 30 i dont want to see 40!

[bcky2]

ok, i am too young for a mid life crisis! what is my brain doing to me! first off i quit smoking 6 years ago, yes 6! i was at 2 packs a day and went cold turkey. i have been thinking about smoking for the past week nonstop. it is all that is on my mind. from the minute that i wake up till the minute i fall asleep. so today i cave in and have one x( i thought that oh i will have one, it will taste like crap and i will choke on it. nope, it was like i never missed a day. so stupid thing number one.

stupid thing number two. now i dont know if this is bad or not. i looked up and wrote a letter someone that i used to date like um, 15 years ago befor dh. he was a few years older then me and we didnt have the greatest relationship(who does at that age) and i have always felt like i never got to tell him that the things he did to me and said to me were so wrong and how much it hurt. i have had dreams about getting to confront him and tell him how i feel. im not talking about little things, i mean major issues that i still have problems with. i was a huge alcoholic by the age of 13/14 to the point where i would have weeks at a time that i cant remember, i got into some drugs, i had been to some of the worst crack houses in my town, he was abusive in many ways, it was just soooooooooo bad. i have this desire to ask him why he did what he did and for some reason i guess i just want to know if he feels bad in any way at all for what he did. so i wrote the letter to him and said that if he remembers me to contact me via email so that maybe we can talk. i did let him know that i am married with kids so he doesnt think im looking to pick up where we left off ;) am i wrong to want to confront him?

and third, all of a sudden i am in a panic to loose all the weight i put on when i quit smoking and had 2 babies. and when i think of all the right ways to do it i think that it will take too long. i am to the point that other then my party this weekend i have been trying not to eat at all. i know that this is sooooo stupid but i just cant think straight for some reason. all i can think is if i dont eat, work out a ton, and pick up smoking agian to take the place of eating then i can loose it nice and fast. and im not talking 5-10lbs, im talking some major lbs here.

have i gone off the deep end or what???????????? if this is 30 i dont want to see 40!

[bcky2]

ok, i am too young for a mid life crisis! what is my brain doing to me! first off i quit smoking 6 years ago, yes 6! i was at 2 packs a day and went cold turkey. i have been thinking about smoking for the past week nonstop. it is all that is on my mind. from the minute that i wake up till the minute i fall asleep. so today i cave in and have one x( i thought that oh i will have one, it will taste like crap and i will choke on it. nope, it was like i never missed a day. so stupid thing number one.

stupid thing number two. now i dont know if this is bad or not. i looked up and wrote a letter someone that i used to date like um, 15 years ago befor dh. he was a few years older then me and we didnt have the greatest relationship(who does at that age) and i have always felt like i never got to tell him that the things he did to me and said to me were so wrong and how much it hurt. i have had dreams about getting to confront him and tell him how i feel. im not talking about little things, i mean major issues that i still have problems with. i was a huge alcoholic by the age of 13/14 to the point where i would have weeks at a time that i cant remember, i got into some drugs, i had been to some of the worst crack houses in my town, he was abusive in many ways, it was just soooooooooo bad. i have this desire to ask him why he did what he did and for some reason i guess i just want to know if he feels bad in any way at all for what he did. so i wrote the letter to him and said that if he remembers me to contact me via email so that maybe we can talk. i did let him know that i am married with kids so he doesnt think im looking to pick up where we left off ;) am i wrong to want to confront him?

and third, all of a sudden i am in a panic to loose all the weight i put on when i quit smoking and had 2 babies. and when i think of all the right ways to do it i think that it will take too long. i am to the point that other then my party this weekend i have been trying not to eat at all. i know that this is sooooo stupid but i just cant think straight for some reason. all i can think is if i dont eat, work out a ton, and pick up smoking agian to take the place of eating then i can loose it nice and fast. and im not talking 5-10lbs, im talking some major lbs here.

have i gone off the deep end or what???????????? if this is 30 i dont want to see 40!

[bcky2]

ok, i am too young for a mid life crisis! what is my brain doing to me! first off i quit smoking 6 years ago, yes 6! i was at 2 packs a day and went cold turkey. i have been thinking about smoking for the past week nonstop. it is all that is on my mind. from the minute that i wake up till the minute i fall asleep. so today i cave in and have one x( i thought that oh i will have one, it will taste like crap and i will choke on it. nope, it was like i never missed a day. so stupid thing number one.

stupid thing number two. now i dont know if this is bad or not. i looked up and wrote a letter someone that i used to date like um, 15 years ago befor dh. he was a few years older then me and we didnt have the greatest relationship(who does at that age) and i have always felt like i never got to tell him that the things he did to me and said to me were so wrong and how much it hurt. i have had dreams about getting to confront him and tell him how i feel. im not talking about little things, i mean major issues that i still have problems with. i was a huge alcoholic by the age of 13/14 to the point where i would have weeks at a time that i cant remember, i got into some drugs, i had been to some of the worst crack houses in my town, he was abusive in many ways, it was just soooooooooo bad. i have this desire to ask him why he did what he did and for some reason i guess i just want to know if he feels bad in any way at all for what he did. so i wrote the letter to him and said that if he remembers me to contact me via email so that maybe we can talk. i did let him know that i am married with kids so he doesnt think im looking to pick up where we left off ;) am i wrong to want to confront him?

and third, all of a sudden i am in a panic to loose all the weight i put on when i quit smoking and had 2 babies. and when i think of all the right ways to do it i think that it will take too long. i am to the point that other then my party this weekend i have been trying not to eat at all. i know that this is sooooo stupid but i just cant think straight for some reason. all i can think is if i dont eat, work out a ton, and pick up smoking agian to take the place of eating then i can loose it nice and fast. and im not talking 5-10lbs, im talking some major lbs here.

have i gone off the deep end or what???????????? if this is 30 i dont want to see 40!

[bcky2]

ok, i am too young for a mid life crisis! what is my brain doing to me! first off i quit smoking 6 years ago, yes 6! i was at 2 packs a day and went cold turkey. i have been thinking about smoking for the past week nonstop. it is all that is on my mind. from the minute that i wake up till the minute i fall asleep. so today i cave in and have one x( i thought that oh i will have one, it will taste like crap and i will choke on it. nope, it was like i never missed a day. so stupid thing number one.

stupid thing number two. now i dont know if this is bad or not. i looked up and wrote a letter someone that i used to date like um, 15 years ago befor dh. he was a few years older then me and we didnt have the greatest relationship(who does at that age) and i have always felt like i never got to tell him that the things he did to me and said to me were so wrong and how much it hurt. i have had dreams about getting to confront him and tell him how i feel. im not talking about little things, i mean major issues that i still have problems with. i was a huge alcoholic by the age of 13/14 to the point where i would have weeks at a time that i cant remember, i got into some drugs, i had been to some of the worst crack houses in my town, he was abusive in many ways, it was just soooooooooo bad. i have this desire to ask him why he did what he did and for some reason i guess i just want to know if he feels bad in any way at all for what he did. so i wrote the letter to him and said that if he remembers me to contact me via email so that maybe we can talk. i did let him know that i am married with kids so he doesnt think im looking to pick up where we left off ;) am i wrong to want to confront him?

and third, all of a sudden i am in a panic to loose all the weight i put on when i quit smoking and had 2 babies. and when i think of all the right ways to do it i think that it will take too long. i am to the point that other then my party this weekend i have been trying not to eat at all. i know that this is sooooo stupid but i just cant think straight for some reason. all i can think is if i dont eat, work out a ton, and pick up smoking agian to take the place of eating then i can loose it nice and fast. and im not talking 5-10lbs, im talking some major lbs here.

have i gone off the deep end or what???????????? if this is 30 i dont want to see 40!

[bcky2]

ok, i am too young for a mid life crisis! what is my brain doing to me! first off i quit smoking 6 years ago, yes 6! i was at 2 packs a day and went cold turkey. i have been thinking about smoking for the past week nonstop. it is all that is on my mind. from the minute that i wake up till the minute i fall asleep. so today i cave in and have one x( i thought that oh i will have one, it will taste like crap and i will choke on it. nope, it was like i never missed a day. so stupid thing number one.

stupid thing number two. now i dont know if this is bad or not. i looked up and wrote a letter someone that i used to date like um, 15 years ago befor dh. he was a few years older then me and we didnt have the greatest relationship(who does at that age) and i have always felt like i never got to tell him that the things he did to me and said to me were so wrong and how much it hurt. i have had dreams about getting to confront him and tell him how i feel. im not talking about little things, i mean major issues that i still have problems with. i was a huge alcoholic by the age of 13/14 to the point where i would have weeks at a time that i cant remember, i got into some drugs, i had been to some of the worst crack houses in my town, he was abusive in many ways, it was just soooooooooo bad. i have this desire to ask him why he did what he did and for some reason i guess i just want to know if he feels bad in any way at all for what he did. so i wrote the letter to him and said that if he remembers me to contact me via email so that maybe we can talk. i did let him know that i am married with kids so he doesnt think im looking to pick up where we left off ;) am i wrong to want to confront him?

and third, all of a sudden i am in a panic to loose all the weight i put on when i quit smoking and had 2 babies. and when i think of all the right ways to do it i think that it will take too long. i am to the point that other then my party this weekend i have been trying not to eat at all. i know that this is sooooo stupid but i just cant think straight for some reason. all i can think is if i dont eat, work out a ton, and pick up smoking agian to take the place of eating then i can loose it nice and fast. and im not talking 5-10lbs, im talking some major lbs here.

have i gone off the deep end or what???????????? if this is 30 i dont want to see 40!

[tarabenet]

OK, girlfriend, stop and take a few deep breaths! Seriously, you desrve a little break and it sounds like you are needing to catch up to yourself.

First, "off the deep end" and "midlife crisis" may be stronger than apply to you. More importantly, if you get wrapped up in calling yourself names and throwing insults at yourself, things will go from odd to bad in a hurry.

Definitely sounds like there's a part of yourself you've been trying to squelch, and she's fighting to be heard. At least, I know that is what turns up every time I get into one of those "I need some kind of change, any kind, right now!" kind of cycles. Time to find a way to reconnect with yourself and figure out what is missing in your life. Do you have a really good, wise friend (not a drama queen type for this) you can talk thigns through with? So often, thinking out loud will getcha places you just can't find by yourself. If not, or if even one of these three things gets more accute, get yourself a counselor. Nothing like someone objective to help you crack the code! Your sending yourself warning flares. Take care of them now, because I can guarantee they won't just fade away without major consequences.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself for these things and take them for the clear signals that they are, and you can be on top of the world a lot faster than you would imagine.

Hugs and peace and good vibes to you.

(PS: Doesn't my siggie give you a hint that I have an idea of where you're coming from on this? And I've done 30 and 40 both, and neither one needs to be a crisis!)

[tarabenet]

OK, girlfriend, stop and take a few deep breaths! Seriously, you desrve a little break and it sounds like you are needing to catch up to yourself.

First, "off the deep end" and "midlife crisis" may be stronger than apply to you. More importantly, if you get wrapped up in calling yourself names and throwing insults at yourself, things will go from odd to bad in a hurry.

Definitely sounds like there's a part of yourself you've been trying to squelch, and she's fighting to be heard. At least, I know that is what turns up every time I get into one of those "I need some kind of change, any kind, right now!" kind of cycles. Time to find a way to reconnect with yourself and figure out what is missing in your life. Do you have a really good, wise friend (not a drama queen type for this) you can talk thigns through with? So often, thinking out loud will getcha places you just can't find by yourself. If not, or if even one of these three things gets more accute, get yourself a counselor. Nothing like someone objective to help you crack the code! Your sending yourself warning flares. Take care of them now, because I can guarantee they won't just fade away without major consequences.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself for these things and take them for the clear signals that they are, and you can be on top of the world a lot faster than you would imagine.

Hugs and peace and good vibes to you.

(PS: Doesn't my siggie give you a hint that I have an idea of where you're coming from on this? And I've done 30 and 40 both, and neither one needs to be a crisis!)

[tarabenet]

OK, girlfriend, stop and take a few deep breaths! Seriously, you desrve a little break and it sounds like you are needing to catch up to yourself.

First, "off the deep end" and "midlife crisis" may be stronger than apply to you. More importantly, if you get wrapped up in calling yourself names and throwing insults at yourself, things will go from odd to bad in a hurry.

Definitely sounds like there's a part of yourself you've been trying to squelch, and she's fighting to be heard. At least, I know that is what turns up every time I get into one of those "I need some kind of change, any kind, right now!" kind of cycles. Time to find a way to reconnect with yourself and figure out what is missing in your life. Do you have a really good, wise friend (not a drama queen type for this) you can talk thigns through with? So often, thinking out loud will getcha places you just can't find by yourself. If not, or if even one of these three things gets more accute, get yourself a counselor. Nothing like someone objective to help you crack the code! Your sending yourself warning flares. Take care of them now, because I can guarantee they won't just fade away without major consequences.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself for these things and take them for the clear signals that they are, and you can be on top of the world a lot faster than you would imagine.

Hugs and peace and good vibes to you.

(PS: Doesn't my siggie give you a hint that I have an idea of where you're coming from on this? And I've done 30 and 40 both, and neither one needs to be a crisis!)

[tarabenet]

OK, girlfriend, stop and take a few deep breaths! Seriously, you desrve a little break and it sounds like you are needing to catch up to yourself.

First, "off the deep end" and "midlife crisis" may be stronger than apply to you. More importantly, if you get wrapped up in calling yourself names and throwing insults at yourself, things will go from odd to bad in a hurry.

Definitely sounds like there's a part of yourself you've been trying to squelch, and she's fighting to be heard. At least, I know that is what turns up every time I get into one of those "I need some kind of change, any kind, right now!" kind of cycles. Time to find a way to reconnect with yourself and figure out what is missing in your life. Do you have a really good, wise friend (not a drama queen type for this) you can talk thigns through with? So often, thinking out loud will getcha places you just can't find by yourself. If not, or if even one of these three things gets more accute, get yourself a counselor. Nothing like someone objective to help you crack the code! Your sending yourself warning flares. Take care of them now, because I can guarantee they won't just fade away without major consequences.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself for these things and take them for the clear signals that they are, and you can be on top of the world a lot faster than you would imagine.

Hugs and peace and good vibes to you.

(PS: Doesn't my siggie give you a hint that I have an idea of where you're coming from on this? And I've done 30 and 40 both, and neither one needs to be a crisis!)

[tarabenet]

OK, girlfriend, stop and take a few deep breaths! Seriously, you desrve a little break and it sounds like you are needing to catch up to yourself.

First, "off the deep end" and "midlife crisis" may be stronger than apply to you. More importantly, if you get wrapped up in calling yourself names and throwing insults at yourself, things will go from odd to bad in a hurry.

Definitely sounds like there's a part of yourself you've been trying to squelch, and she's fighting to be heard. At least, I know that is what turns up every time I get into one of those "I need some kind of change, any kind, right now!" kind of cycles. Time to find a way to reconnect with yourself and figure out what is missing in your life. Do you have a really good, wise friend (not a drama queen type for this) you can talk thigns through with? So often, thinking out loud will getcha places you just can't find by yourself. If not, or if even one of these three things gets more accute, get yourself a counselor. Nothing like someone objective to help you crack the code! Your sending yourself warning flares. Take care of them now, because I can guarantee they won't just fade away without major consequences.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself for these things and take them for the clear signals that they are, and you can be on top of the world a lot faster than you would imagine.

Hugs and peace and good vibes to you.

(PS: Doesn't my siggie give you a hint that I have an idea of where you're coming from on this? And I've done 30 and 40 both, and neither one needs to be a crisis!)

[tarabenet]

OK, girlfriend, stop and take a few deep breaths! Seriously, you desrve a little break and it sounds like you are needing to catch up to yourself.

First, "off the deep end" and "midlife crisis" may be stronger than apply to you. More importantly, if you get wrapped up in calling yourself names and throwing insults at yourself, things will go from odd to bad in a hurry.

Definitely sounds like there's a part of yourself you've been trying to squelch, and she's fighting to be heard. At least, I know that is what turns up every time I get into one of those "I need some kind of change, any kind, right now!" kind of cycles. Time to find a way to reconnect with yourself and figure out what is missing in your life. Do you have a really good, wise friend (not a drama queen type for this) you can talk thigns through with? So often, thinking out loud will getcha places you just can't find by yourself. If not, or if even one of these three things gets more accute, get yourself a counselor. Nothing like someone objective to help you crack the code! Your sending yourself warning flares. Take care of them now, because I can guarantee they won't just fade away without major consequences.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself for these things and take them for the clear signals that they are, and you can be on top of the world a lot faster than you would imagine.

Hugs and peace and good vibes to you.

(PS: Doesn't my siggie give you a hint that I have an idea of where you're coming from on this? And I've done 30 and 40 both, and neither one needs to be a crisis!)

[tarabenet]

OK, girlfriend, stop and take a few deep breaths! Seriously, you desrve a little break and it sounds like you are needing to catch up to yourself.

First, "off the deep end" and "midlife crisis" may be stronger than apply to you. More importantly, if you get wrapped up in calling yourself names and throwing insults at yourself, things will go from odd to bad in a hurry.

Definitely sounds like there's a part of yourself you've been trying to squelch, and she's fighting to be heard. At least, I know that is what turns up every time I get into one of those "I need some kind of change, any kind, right now!" kind of cycles. Time to find a way to reconnect with yourself and figure out what is missing in your life. Do you have a really good, wise friend (not a drama queen type for this) you can talk thigns through with? So often, thinking out loud will getcha places you just can't find by yourself. If not, or if even one of these three things gets more accute, get yourself a counselor. Nothing like someone objective to help you crack the code! Your sending yourself warning flares. Take care of them now, because I can guarantee they won't just fade away without major consequences.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself for these things and take them for the clear signals that they are, and you can be on top of the world a lot faster than you would imagine.

Hugs and peace and good vibes to you.

(PS: Doesn't my siggie give you a hint that I have an idea of where you're coming from on this? And I've done 30 and 40 both, and neither one needs to be a crisis!)

[tarabenet]

OK, girlfriend, stop and take a few deep breaths! Seriously, you desrve a little break and it sounds like you are needing to catch up to yourself.

First, "off the deep end" and "midlife crisis" may be stronger than apply to you. More importantly, if you get wrapped up in calling yourself names and throwing insults at yourself, things will go from odd to bad in a hurry.

Definitely sounds like there's a part of yourself you've been trying to squelch, and she's fighting to be heard. At least, I know that is what turns up every time I get into one of those "I need some kind of change, any kind, right now!" kind of cycles. Time to find a way to reconnect with yourself and figure out what is missing in your life. Do you have a really good, wise friend (not a drama queen type for this) you can talk thigns through with? So often, thinking out loud will getcha places you just can't find by yourself. If not, or if even one of these three things gets more accute, get yourself a counselor. Nothing like someone objective to help you crack the code! Your sending yourself warning flares. Take care of them now, because I can guarantee they won't just fade away without major consequences.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself for these things and take them for the clear signals that they are, and you can be on top of the world a lot faster than you would imagine.

Hugs and peace and good vibes to you.

(PS: Doesn't my siggie give you a hint that I have an idea of where you're coming from on this? And I've done 30 and 40 both, and neither one needs to be a crisis!)

[tarabenet]

OK, girlfriend, stop and take a few deep breaths! Seriously, you desrve a little break and it sounds like you are needing to catch up to yourself.

First, "off the deep end" and "midlife crisis" may be stronger than apply to you. More importantly, if you get wrapped up in calling yourself names and throwing insults at yourself, things will go from odd to bad in a hurry.

Definitely sounds like there's a part of yourself you've been trying to squelch, and she's fighting to be heard. At least, I know that is what turns up every time I get into one of those "I need some kind of change, any kind, right now!" kind of cycles. Time to find a way to reconnect with yourself and figure out what is missing in your life. Do you have a really good, wise friend (not a drama queen type for this) you can talk thigns through with? So often, thinking out loud will getcha places you just can't find by yourself. If not, or if even one of these three things gets more accute, get yourself a counselor. Nothing like someone objective to help you crack the code! Your sending yourself warning flares. Take care of them now, because I can guarantee they won't just fade away without major consequences.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself for these things and take them for the clear signals that they are, and you can be on top of the world a lot faster than you would imagine.

Hugs and peace and good vibes to you.

(PS: Doesn't my siggie give you a hint that I have an idea of where you're coming from on this? And I've done 30 and 40 both, and neither one needs to be a crisis!)

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[Model50]

I agree, don't beat yourself up, we all go through some rough patches. Don't think of yourself as weak because you are obviously not and if you start comparing yourself to other people, you'll never win. Just stop yourself and ask yourself what it is that you REALLY need. Maybe you have a lot going on and you need some way to vent or get away and you are using the smoking, ex-boyfriend, weight loss desire to distract you. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you want others to treat you!

[Model50]

I agree, don't beat yourself up, we all go through some rough patches. Don't think of yourself as weak because you are obviously not and if you start comparing yourself to other people, you'll never win. Just stop yourself and ask yourself what it is that you REALLY need. Maybe you have a lot going on and you need some way to vent or get away and you are using the smoking, ex-boyfriend, weight loss desire to distract you. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you want others to treat you!

[Model50]

I agree, don't beat yourself up, we all go through some rough patches. Don't think of yourself as weak because you are obviously not and if you start comparing yourself to other people, you'll never win. Just stop yourself and ask yourself what it is that you REALLY need. Maybe you have a lot going on and you need some way to vent or get away and you are using the smoking, ex-boyfriend, weight loss desire to distract you. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you want others to treat you!

[Model50]

I agree, don't beat yourself up, we all go through some rough patches. Don't think of yourself as weak because you are obviously not and if you start comparing yourself to other people, you'll never win. Just stop yourself and ask yourself what it is that you REALLY need. Maybe you have a lot going on and you need some way to vent or get away and you are using the smoking, ex-boyfriend, weight loss desire to distract you. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you want others to treat you!

[Model50]

I agree, don't beat yourself up, we all go through some rough patches. Don't think of yourself as weak because you are obviously not and if you start comparing yourself to other people, you'll never win. Just stop yourself and ask yourself what it is that you REALLY need. Maybe you have a lot going on and you need some way to vent or get away and you are using the smoking, ex-boyfriend, weight loss desire to distract you. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you want others to treat you!

[Model50]

I agree, don't beat yourself up, we all go through some rough patches. Don't think of yourself as weak because you are obviously not and if you start comparing yourself to other people, you'll never win. Just stop yourself and ask yourself what it is that you REALLY need. Maybe you have a lot going on and you need some way to vent or get away and you are using the smoking, ex-boyfriend, weight loss desire to distract you. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you want others to treat you!

[Model50]

I agree, don't beat yourself up, we all go through some rough patches. Don't think of yourself as weak because you are obviously not and if you start comparing yourself to other people, you'll never win. Just stop yourself and ask yourself what it is that you REALLY need. Maybe you have a lot going on and you need some way to vent or get away and you are using the smoking, ex-boyfriend, weight loss desire to distract you. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you want others to treat you!

[Model50]

I agree, don't beat yourself up, we all go through some rough patches. Don't think of yourself as weak because you are obviously not and if you start comparing yourself to other people, you'll never win. Just stop yourself and ask yourself what it is that you REALLY need. Maybe you have a lot going on and you need some way to vent or get away and you are using the smoking, ex-boyfriend, weight loss desire to distract you. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you want others to treat you!

[Model50]

I agree, don't beat yourself up, we all go through some rough patches. Don't think of yourself as weak because you are obviously not and if you start comparing yourself to other people, you'll never win. Just stop yourself and ask yourself what it is that you REALLY need. Maybe you have a lot going on and you need some way to vent or get away and you are using the smoking, ex-boyfriend, weight loss desire to distract you. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself as you want others to treat you!

[bcky2]

thanks for the advice. the only friend i have close here is a drama queen so no help there. i just get to a point and i feel like this has to be done and it has to be done yesterday. these spells come and go and i guess right now i am just in the middle of one. it is always the same issues when i get one of these spells so that should tell me something.

[bcky2]

thanks for the advice. the only friend i have close here is a drama queen so no help there. i just get to a point and i feel like this has to be done and it has to be done yesterday. these spells come and go and i guess right now i am just in the middle of one. it is always the same issues when i get one of these spells so that should tell me something.

[bcky2]

thanks for the advice. the only friend i have close here is a drama queen so no help there. i just get to a point and i feel like this has to be done and it has to be done yesterday. these spells come and go and i guess right now i am just in the middle of one. it is always the same issues when i get one of these spells so that should tell me something.

[bcky2]

thanks for the advice. the only friend i have close here is a drama queen so no help there. i just get to a point and i feel like this has to be done and it has to be done yesterday. these spells come and go and i guess right now i am just in the middle of one. it is always the same issues when i get one of these spells so that should tell me something.

[bcky2]

thanks for the advice. the only friend i have close here is a drama queen so no help there. i just get to a point and i feel like this has to be done and it has to be done yesterday. these spells come and go and i guess right now i am just in the middle of one. it is always the same issues when i get one of these spells so that should tell me something.

[bcky2]

thanks for the advice. the only friend i have close here is a drama queen so no help there. i just get to a point and i feel like this has to be done and it has to be done yesterday. these spells come and go and i guess right now i am just in the middle of one. it is always the same issues when i get one of these spells so that should tell me something.

[bcky2]

thanks for the advice. the only friend i have close here is a drama queen so no help there. i just get to a point and i feel like this has to be done and it has to be done yesterday. these spells come and go and i guess right now i am just in the middle of one. it is always the same issues when i get one of these spells so that should tell me something.

[bcky2]

thanks for the advice. the only friend i have close here is a drama queen so no help there. i just get to a point and i feel like this has to be done and it has to be done yesterday. these spells come and go and i guess right now i am just in the middle of one. it is always the same issues when i get one of these spells so that should tell me something.

[bcky2]

thanks for the advice. the only friend i have close here is a drama queen so no help there. i just get to a point and i feel like this has to be done and it has to be done yesterday. these spells come and go and i guess right now i am just in the middle of one. it is always the same issues when i get one of these spells so that should tell me something.

[bcky2]

you dont sound like a man, they would never try to fix something like this ;) my dh doesnt do well with stuff like this. he just doesnt listen well and all he would do is say to do whatever makes me happy. as for wanting answers from my x, i have wanted them for many years and this is something that i have done befor, written the letter and all. the only difference this time is that i mailed it befor i could chicken out. i have talked to my doc about diet and all and he says to do what works for me, w.w. or south beach or whatever but to make very small goals to work towards, not all at once. i think out of all of it, the cigarette thing is killing me the most, i just cant get them out of my mind! thanks for your help :)

[bcky2]

you dont sound like a man, they would never try to fix something like this ;) my dh doesnt do well with stuff like this. he just doesnt listen well and all he would do is say to do whatever makes me happy. as for wanting answers from my x, i have wanted them for many years and this is something that i have done befor, written the letter and all. the only difference this time is that i mailed it befor i could chicken out. i have talked to my doc about diet and all and he says to do what works for me, w.w. or south beach or whatever but to make very small goals to work towards, not all at once. i think out of all of it, the cigarette thing is killing me the most, i just cant get them out of my mind! thanks for your help :)

[bcky2]

you dont sound like a man, they would never try to fix something like this ;) my dh doesnt do well with stuff like this. he just doesnt listen well and all he would do is say to do whatever makes me happy. as for wanting answers from my x, i have wanted them for many years and this is something that i have done befor, written the letter and all. the only difference this time is that i mailed it befor i could chicken out. i have talked to my doc about diet and all and he says to do what works for me, w.w. or south beach or whatever but to make very small goals to work towards, not all at once. i think out of all of it, the cigarette thing is killing me the most, i just cant get them out of my mind! thanks for your help :)

[bcky2]

you dont sound like a man, they would never try to fix something like this ;) my dh doesnt do well with stuff like this. he just doesnt listen well and all he would do is say to do whatever makes me happy. as for wanting answers from my x, i have wanted them for many years and this is something that i have done befor, written the letter and all. the only difference this time is that i mailed it befor i could chicken out. i have talked to my doc about diet and all and he says to do what works for me, w.w. or south beach or whatever but to make very small goals to work towards, not all at once. i think out of all of it, the cigarette thing is killing me the most, i just cant get them out of my mind! thanks for your help :)

[bcky2]

you dont sound like a man, they would never try to fix something like this ;) my dh doesnt do well with stuff like this. he just doesnt listen well and all he would do is say to do whatever makes me happy. as for wanting answers from my x, i have wanted them for many years and this is something that i have done befor, written the letter and all. the only difference this time is that i mailed it befor i could chicken out. i have talked to my doc about diet and all and he says to do what works for me, w.w. or south beach or whatever but to make very small goals to work towards, not all at once. i think out of all of it, the cigarette thing is killing me the most, i just cant get them out of my mind! thanks for your help :)

[bcky2]

you dont sound like a man, they would never try to fix something like this ;) my dh doesnt do well with stuff like this. he just doesnt listen well and all he would do is say to do whatever makes me happy. as for wanting answers from my x, i have wanted them for many years and this is something that i have done befor, written the letter and all. the only difference this time is that i mailed it befor i could chicken out. i have talked to my doc about diet and all and he says to do what works for me, w.w. or south beach or whatever but to make very small goals to work towards, not all at once. i think out of all of it, the cigarette thing is killing me the most, i just cant get them out of my mind! thanks for your help :)

[bcky2]

you dont sound like a man, they would never try to fix something like this ;) my dh doesnt do well with stuff like this. he just doesnt listen well and all he would do is say to do whatever makes me happy. as for wanting answers from my x, i have wanted them for many years and this is something that i have done befor, written the letter and all. the only difference this time is that i mailed it befor i could chicken out. i have talked to my doc about diet and all and he says to do what works for me, w.w. or south beach or whatever but to make very small goals to work towards, not all at once. i think out of all of it, the cigarette thing is killing me the most, i just cant get them out of my mind! thanks for your help :)

[bcky2]

you dont sound like a man, they would never try to fix something like this ;) my dh doesnt do well with stuff like this. he just doesnt listen well and all he would do is say to do whatever makes me happy. as for wanting answers from my x, i have wanted them for many years and this is something that i have done befor, written the letter and all. the only difference this time is that i mailed it befor i could chicken out. i have talked to my doc about diet and all and he says to do what works for me, w.w. or south beach or whatever but to make very small goals to work towards, not all at once. i think out of all of it, the cigarette thing is killing me the most, i just cant get them out of my mind! thanks for your help :)

[bcky2]

you dont sound like a man, they would never try to fix something like this ;) my dh doesnt do well with stuff like this. he just doesnt listen well and all he would do is say to do whatever makes me happy. as for wanting answers from my x, i have wanted them for many years and this is something that i have done befor, written the letter and all. the only difference this time is that i mailed it befor i could chicken out. i have talked to my doc about diet and all and he says to do what works for me, w.w. or south beach or whatever but to make very small goals to work towards, not all at once. i think out of all of it, the cigarette thing is killing me the most, i just cant get them out of my mind! thanks for your help :)

[bcky2]

i think you hit the nail on the head. my doc says that i have anxiety attacks and he said to try and take a nice walk every night and to try and relax more in hopes of not having to take a Rx for it. i have written many letters and ripped them up, this one i mailed :( i wanted to mail it befor i chickened out. now it is out there. who knows i may never hear anything from him.

[bcky2]

i think you hit the nail on the head. my doc says that i have anxiety attacks and he said to try and take a nice walk every night and to try and relax more in hopes of not having to take a Rx for it. i have written many letters and ripped them up, this one i mailed :( i wanted to mail it befor i chickened out. now it is out there. who knows i may never hear anything from him.

[bcky2]

i think you hit the nail on the head. my doc says that i have anxiety attacks and he said to try and take a nice walk every night and to try and relax more in hopes of not having to take a Rx for it. i have written many letters and ripped them up, this one i mailed :( i wanted to mail it befor i chickened out. now it is out there. who knows i may never hear anything from him.

[bcky2]

i think you hit the nail on the head. my doc says that i have anxiety attacks and he said to try and take a nice walk every night and to try and relax more in hopes of not having to take a Rx for it. i have written many letters and ripped them up, this one i mailed :( i wanted to mail it befor i chickened out. now it is out there. who knows i may never hear anything from him.

[bcky2]

i think you hit the nail on the head. my doc says that i have anxiety attacks and he said to try and take a nice walk every night and to try and relax more in hopes of not having to take a Rx for it. i have written many letters and ripped them up, this one i mailed :( i wanted to mail it befor i chickened out. now it is out there. who knows i may never hear anything from him.

[bcky2]

i think you hit the nail on the head. my doc says that i have anxiety attacks and he said to try and take a nice walk every night and to try and relax more in hopes of not having to take a Rx for it. i have written many letters and ripped them up, this one i mailed :( i wanted to mail it befor i chickened out. now it is out there. who knows i may never hear anything from him.

[bcky2]

i think you hit the nail on the head. my doc says that i have anxiety attacks and he said to try and take a nice walk every night and to try and relax more in hopes of not having to take a Rx for it. i have written many letters and ripped them up, this one i mailed :( i wanted to mail it befor i chickened out. now it is out there. who knows i may never hear anything from him.

[bcky2]

i think you hit the nail on the head. my doc says that i have anxiety attacks and he said to try and take a nice walk every night and to try and relax more in hopes of not having to take a Rx for it. i have written many letters and ripped them up, this one i mailed :( i wanted to mail it befor i chickened out. now it is out there. who knows i may never hear anything from him.

[bcky2]

i think you hit the nail on the head. my doc says that i have anxiety attacks and he said to try and take a nice walk every night and to try and relax more in hopes of not having to take a Rx for it. i have written many letters and ripped them up, this one i mailed :( i wanted to mail it befor i chickened out. now it is out there. who knows i may never hear anything from him.

[bcky2]

thanks for your response, i am so bad at treating myself the way i want to be treated. i have so much going on right now i cant see straight on most days, let alone to know what i really need. that is something to ponder.

[bcky2]

thanks for your response, i am so bad at treating myself the way i want to be treated. i have so much going on right now i cant see straight on most days, let alone to know what i really need. that is something to ponder.

[bcky2]

thanks for your response, i am so bad at treating myself the way i want to be treated. i have so much going on right now i cant see straight on most days, let alone to know what i really need. that is something to ponder.

[bcky2]

thanks for your response, i am so bad at treating myself the way i want to be treated. i have so much going on right now i cant see straight on most days, let alone to know what i really need. that is something to ponder.

[bcky2]

thanks for your response, i am so bad at treating myself the way i want to be treated. i have so much going on right now i cant see straight on most days, let alone to know what i really need. that is something to ponder.

[bcky2]

thanks for your response, i am so bad at treating myself the way i want to be treated. i have so much going on right now i cant see straight on most days, let alone to know what i really need. that is something to ponder.

[bcky2]

thanks for your response, i am so bad at treating myself the way i want to be treated. i have so much going on right now i cant see straight on most days, let alone to know what i really need. that is something to ponder.

[bcky2]

thanks for your response, i am so bad at treating myself the way i want to be treated. i have so much going on right now i cant see straight on most days, let alone to know what i really need. that is something to ponder.

[bcky2]

thanks for your response, i am so bad at treating myself the way i want to be treated. i have so much going on right now i cant see straight on most days, let alone to know what i really need. that is something to ponder.

[Wife_and_mommy]

You know what you need to do and I hope you'll be strong and do it, B. As for the guy...he doesn't sound like he's going to care about your feelings but at least you took the plunge with it.

Big hugs to you! Hope your bday was special. :)



http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[Wife_and_mommy]

You know what you need to do and I hope you'll be strong and do it, B. As for the guy...he doesn't sound like he's going to care about your feelings but at least you took the plunge with it.

Big hugs to you! Hope your bday was special. :)



http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[Wife_and_mommy]

You know what you need to do and I hope you'll be strong and do it, B. As for the guy...he doesn't sound like he's going to care about your feelings but at least you took the plunge with it.

Big hugs to you! Hope your bday was special. :)



http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[Wife_and_mommy]

You know what you need to do and I hope you'll be strong and do it, B. As for the guy...he doesn't sound like he's going to care about your feelings but at least you took the plunge with it.

Big hugs to you! Hope your bday was special. :)



http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[Wife_and_mommy]

You know what you need to do and I hope you'll be strong and do it, B. As for the guy...he doesn't sound like he's going to care about your feelings but at least you took the plunge with it.

Big hugs to you! Hope your bday was special. :)



http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[Wife_and_mommy]

You know what you need to do and I hope you'll be strong and do it, B. As for the guy...he doesn't sound like he's going to care about your feelings but at least you took the plunge with it.

Big hugs to you! Hope your bday was special. :)



http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[Wife_and_mommy]

You know what you need to do and I hope you'll be strong and do it, B. As for the guy...he doesn't sound like he's going to care about your feelings but at least you took the plunge with it.

Big hugs to you! Hope your bday was special. :)




http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[Wife_and_mommy]

You know what you need to do and I hope you'll be strong and do it, B. As for the guy...he doesn't sound like he's going to care about your feelings but at least you took the plunge with it.

Big hugs to you! Hope your bday was special. :)


http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[Wife_and_mommy]

You know what you need to do and I hope you'll be strong and do it, B. As for the guy...he doesn't sound like he's going to care about your feelings but at least you took the plunge with it.

Big hugs to you! Hope your bday was special. :)



http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]

[bcky2]

thanks, the one cigarette gave me the worst headache so i am so done there. now that my anxiety attack has passed i am kicking myself for sending the letter. i have wanted to send one for years so at least when i feel this way again i know that i sent one and that he knows i have not forgotten the type of person that he is.

my bday was pretty good other then the anxiety attack :)

[bcky2]

thanks, the one cigarette gave me the worst headache so i am so done there. now that my anxiety attack has passed i am kicking myself for sending the letter. i have wanted to send one for years so at least when i feel this way again i know that i sent one and that he knows i have not forgotten the type of person that he is.

my bday was pretty good other then the anxiety attack :)

[bcky2]

thanks, the one cigarette gave me the worst headache so i am so done there. now that my anxiety attack has passed i am kicking myself for sending the letter. i have wanted to send one for years so at least when i feel this way again i know that i sent one and that he knows i have not forgotten the type of person that he is.

my bday was pretty good other then the anxiety attack :)

[bcky2]

thanks, the one cigarette gave me the worst headache so i am so done there. now that my anxiety attack has passed i am kicking myself for sending the letter. i have wanted to send one for years so at least when i feel this way again i know that i sent one and that he knows i have not forgotten the type of person that he is.

my bday was pretty good other then the anxiety attack :)

[bcky2]

thanks, the one cigarette gave me the worst headache so i am so done there. now that my anxiety attack has passed i am kicking myself for sending the letter. i have wanted to send one for years so at least when i feel this way again i know that i sent one and that he knows i have not forgotten the type of person that he is.

my bday was pretty good other then the anxiety attack :)

[bcky2]

thanks, the one cigarette gave me the worst headache so i am so done there. now that my anxiety attack has passed i am kicking myself for sending the letter. i have wanted to send one for years so at least when i feel this way again i know that i sent one and that he knows i have not forgotten the type of person that he is.

my bday was pretty good other then the anxiety attack :)

[bcky2]

thanks, the one cigarette gave me the worst headache so i am so done there. now that my anxiety attack has passed i am kicking myself for sending the letter. i have wanted to send one for years so at least when i feel this way again i know that i sent one and that he knows i have not forgotten the type of person that he is.

my bday was pretty good other then the anxiety attack :)

[bcky2]

thanks, the one cigarette gave me the worst headache so i am so done there. now that my anxiety attack has passed i am kicking myself for sending the letter. i have wanted to send one for years so at least when i feel this way again i know that i sent one and that he knows i have not forgotten the type of person that he is.

my bday was pretty good other then the anxiety attack :)

[bcky2]

thanks, the one cigarette gave me the worst headache so i am so done there. now that my anxiety attack has passed i am kicking myself for sending the letter. i have wanted to send one for years so at least when i feel this way again i know that i sent one and that he knows i have not forgotten the type of person that he is.

my bday was pretty good other then the anxiety attack :)

[thomma]

I think you're stronger than you realize. I always enjoy reading your posts. You're always kind, caring and positive. I think it's time you took some of that energy and used it for yourself. You've made some huge changes and done a lot of good things. Focus on that.

With regards to losing weight: there is no quick fix. It takes time and perserverance. Start with portion control, making sensible choices and increase your water intake.

I'm sending you positive vibes-
Kim
t&e 5/03

[thomma]

I think you're stronger than you realize. I always enjoy reading your posts. You're always kind, caring and positive. I think it's time you took some of that energy and used it for yourself. You've made some huge changes and done a lot of good things. Focus on that.

With regards to losing weight: there is no quick fix. It takes time and perserverance. Start with portion control, making sensible choices and increase your water intake.

I'm sending you positive vibes-
Kim
t&e 5/03

[thomma]

I think you're stronger than you realize. I always enjoy reading your posts. You're always kind, caring and positive. I think it's time you took some of that energy and used it for yourself. You've made some huge changes and done a lot of good things. Focus on that.

With regards to losing weight: there is no quick fix. It takes time and perserverance. Start with portion control, making sensible choices and increase your water intake.

I'm sending you positive vibes-
Kim
t&e 5/03

[thomma]

I think you're stronger than you realize. I always enjoy reading your posts. You're always kind, caring and positive. I think it's time you took some of that energy and used it for yourself. You've made some huge changes and done a lot of good things. Focus on that.

With regards to losing weight: there is no quick fix. It takes time and perserverance. Start with portion control, making sensible choices and increase your water intake.

I'm sending you positive vibes-
Kim
t&e 5/03

[thomma]

I think you're stronger than you realize. I always enjoy reading your posts. You're always kind, caring and positive. I think it's time you took some of that energy and used it for yourself. You've made some huge changes and done a lot of good things. Focus on that.

With regards to losing weight: there is no quick fix. It takes time and perserverance. Start with portion control, making sensible choices and increase your water intake.

I'm sending you positive vibes-
Kim
t&e 5/03

[thomma]

I think you're stronger than you realize. I always enjoy reading your posts. You're always kind, caring and positive. I think it's time you took some of that energy and used it for yourself. You've made some huge changes and done a lot of good things. Focus on that.

With regards to losing weight: there is no quick fix. It takes time and perserverance. Start with portion control, making sensible choices and increase your water intake.

I'm sending you positive vibes-
Kim
t&e 5/03

[thomma]

I think you're stronger than you realize. I always enjoy reading your posts. You're always kind, caring and positive. I think it's time you took some of that energy and used it for yourself. You've made some huge changes and done a lot of good things. Focus on that.

With regards to losing weight: there is no quick fix. It takes time and perserverance. Start with portion control, making sensible choices and increase your water intake.

I'm sending you positive vibes-
Kim
t&e 5/03

[thomma]

I think you're stronger than you realize. I always enjoy reading your posts. You're always kind, caring and positive. I think it's time you took some of that energy and used it for yourself. You've made some huge changes and done a lot of good things. Focus on that.

With regards to losing weight: there is no quick fix. It takes time and perserverance. Start with portion control, making sensible choices and increase your water intake.

I'm sending you positive vibes-
Kim
t&e 5/03

[thomma]

I think you're stronger than you realize. I always enjoy reading your posts. You're always kind, caring and positive. I think it's time you took some of that energy and used it for yourself. You've made some huge changes and done a lot of good things. Focus on that.

With regards to losing weight: there is no quick fix. It takes time and perserverance. Start with portion control, making sensible choices and increase your water intake.

I'm sending you positive vibes-
Kim
t&e 5/03

[annasmom]

I think you have gotten some wonderful advice, so I am not going to add anything. Just wanted to send you some big (((hugs)))!!

[annasmom]

I think you have gotten some wonderful advice, so I am not going to add anything. Just wanted to send you some big (((hugs)))!!

[annasmom]

I think you have gotten some wonderful advice, so I am not going to add anything. Just wanted to send you some big (((hugs)))!!

[annasmom]

I think you have gotten some wonderful advice, so I am not going to add anything. Just wanted to send you some big (((hugs)))!!

[annasmom]

I think you have gotten some wonderful advice, so I am not going to add anything. Just wanted to send you some big (((hugs)))!!

[annasmom]

I think you have gotten some wonderful advice, so I am not going to add anything. Just wanted to send you some big (((hugs)))!!

[annasmom]

I think you have gotten some wonderful advice, so I am not going to add anything. Just wanted to send you some big (((hugs)))!!

[annasmom]

I think you have gotten some wonderful advice, so I am not going to add anything. Just wanted to send you some big (((hugs)))!!

[annasmom]

I think you have gotten some wonderful advice, so I am not going to add anything. Just wanted to send you some big (((hugs)))!!

[Lynnie]

Ditto on the hugs, and that you have gotten great advice.

30 is a big milestone. As you know, I hit 40 a few months back, and it was rough for me! But, I made it, and you know what, overall I feel great about where I am, and you will too.

Treat yourself the way you would treat your children. Talk to yourself and think about yourself the way you would about them - be kind to yourself.

If you can't really talk to DH, or think it would help, you may want to start seeing a therapist or something, and then you could decide if you think medications would help. And I know this can sound simplistic, but exercise can really help - it really clears my head and evens my emotions when I do it regularly.

Hang in there, and know that it'll pass and that everyone has times where they feel like they've lost it ! just not everybody admits it I think ! (or if they are really bad, they may not even realize it)

[Lynnie]

Ditto on the hugs, and that you have gotten great advice.

30 is a big milestone. As you know, I hit 40 a few months back, and it was rough for me! But, I made it, and you know what, overall I feel great about where I am, and you will too.

Treat yourself the way you would treat your children. Talk to yourself and think about yourself the way you would about them - be kind to yourself.

If you can't really talk to DH, or think it would help, you may want to start seeing a therapist or something, and then you could decide if you think medications would help. And I know this can sound simplistic, but exercise can really help - it really clears my head and evens my emotions when I do it regularly.

Hang in there, and know that it'll pass and that everyone has times where they feel like they've lost it ! just not everybody admits it I think ! (or if they are really bad, they may not even realize it)

[Lynnie]

Ditto on the hugs, and that you have gotten great advice.

30 is a big milestone. As you know, I hit 40 a few months back, and it was rough for me! But, I made it, and you know what, overall I feel great about where I am, and you will too.

Treat yourself the way you would treat your children. Talk to yourself and think about yourself the way you would about them - be kind to yourself.

If you can't really talk to DH, or think it would help, you may want to start seeing a therapist or something, and then you could decide if you think medications would help. And I know this can sound simplistic, but exercise can really help - it really clears my head and evens my emotions when I do it regularly.

Hang in there, and know that it'll pass and that everyone has times where they feel like they've lost it ! just not everybody admits it I think ! (or if they are really bad, they may not even realize it)

[Lynnie]

Ditto on the hugs, and that you have gotten great advice.

30 is a big milestone. As you know, I hit 40 a few months back, and it was rough for me! But, I made it, and you know what, overall I feel great about where I am, and you will too.

Treat yourself the way you would treat your children. Talk to yourself and think about yourself the way you would about them - be kind to yourself.

If you can't really talk to DH, or think it would help, you may want to start seeing a therapist or something, and then you could decide if you think medications would help. And I know this can sound simplistic, but exercise can really help - it really clears my head and evens my emotions when I do it regularly.

Hang in there, and know that it'll pass and that everyone has times where they feel like they've lost it ! just not everybody admits it I think ! (or if they are really bad, they may not even realize it)

[Lynnie]

Ditto on the hugs, and that you have gotten great advice.

30 is a big milestone. As you know, I hit 40 a few months back, and it was rough for me! But, I made it, and you know what, overall I feel great about where I am, and you will too.

Treat yourself the way you would treat your children. Talk to yourself and think about yourself the way you would about them - be kind to yourself.

If you can't really talk to DH, or think it would help, you may want to start seeing a therapist or something, and then you could decide if you think medications would help. And I know this can sound simplistic, but exercise can really help - it really clears my head and evens my emotions when I do it regularly.

Hang in there, and know that it'll pass and that everyone has times where they feel like they've lost it ! just not everybody admits it I think ! (or if they are really bad, they may not even realize it)

[Lynnie]

Ditto on the hugs, and that you have gotten great advice.

30 is a big milestone. As you know, I hit 40 a few months back, and it was rough for me! But, I made it, and you know what, overall I feel great about where I am, and you will too.

Treat yourself the way you would treat your children. Talk to yourself and think about yourself the way you would about them - be kind to yourself.

If you can't really talk to DH, or think it would help, you may want to start seeing a therapist or something, and then you could decide if you think medications would help. And I know this can sound simplistic, but exercise can really help - it really clears my head and evens my emotions when I do it regularly.

Hang in there, and know that it'll pass and that everyone has times where they feel like they've lost it ! just not everybody admits it I think ! (or if they are really bad, they may not even realize it)

[Lynnie]

Ditto on the hugs, and that you have gotten great advice.

30 is a big milestone. As you know, I hit 40 a few months back, and it was rough for me! But, I made it, and you know what, overall I feel great about where I am, and you will too.

Treat yourself the way you would treat your children. Talk to yourself and think about yourself the way you would about them - be kind to yourself.

If you can't really talk to DH, or think it would help, you may want to start seeing a therapist or something, and then you could decide if you think medications would help. And I know this can sound simplistic, but exercise can really help - it really clears my head and evens my emotions when I do it regularly.

Hang in there, and know that it'll pass and that everyone has times where they feel like they've lost it ! just not everybody admits it I think ! (or if they are really bad, they may not even realize it)

[Lynnie]

Ditto on the hugs, and that you have gotten great advice.

30 is a big milestone. As you know, I hit 40 a few months back, and it was rough for me! But, I made it, and you know what, overall I feel great about where I am, and you will too.

Treat yourself the way you would treat your children. Talk to yourself and think about yourself the way you would about them - be kind to yourself.

If you can't really talk to DH, or think it would help, you may want to start seeing a therapist or something, and then you could decide if you think medications would help. And I know this can sound simplistic, but exercise can really help - it really clears my head and evens my emotions when I do it regularly.

Hang in there, and know that it'll pass and that everyone has times where they feel like they've lost it ! just not everybody admits it I think ! (or if they are really bad, they may not even realize it)

[Lynnie]

Ditto on the hugs, and that you have gotten great advice.

30 is a big milestone. As you know, I hit 40 a few months back, and it was rough for me! But, I made it, and you know what, overall I feel great about where I am, and you will too.

Treat yourself the way you would treat your children. Talk to yourself and think about yourself the way you would about them - be kind to yourself.

If you can't really talk to DH, or think it would help, you may want to start seeing a therapist or something, and then you could decide if you think medications would help. And I know this can sound simplistic, but exercise can really help - it really clears my head and evens my emotions when I do it regularly.

Hang in there, and know that it'll pass and that everyone has times where they feel like they've lost it ! just not everybody admits it I think ! (or if they are really bad, they may not even realize it)

[bcky2]

thanks so much for your kind words, i do think it is so easy to loose ourselves when we start to raise children. and as for the weight loss you are right, i think that i am going to get back to doing ww along with my working out. thanks :)

[bcky2]

thanks so much for your kind words, i do think it is so easy to loose ourselves when we start to raise children. and as for the weight loss you are right, i think that i am going to get back to doing ww along with my working out. thanks :)

[bcky2]

thanks so much for your kind words, i do think it is so easy to loose ourselves when we start to raise children. and as for the weight loss you are right, i think that i am going to get back to doing ww along with my working out. thanks :)

[bcky2]

thanks so much for your kind words, i do think it is so easy to loose ourselves when we start to raise children. and as for the weight loss you are right, i think that i am going to get back to doing ww along with my working out. thanks :)

[bcky2]

thanks so much for your kind words, i do think it is so easy to loose ourselves when we start to raise children. and as for the weight loss you are right, i think that i am going to get back to doing ww along with my working out. thanks :)

[bcky2]

thanks so much for your kind words, i do think it is so easy to loose ourselves when we start to raise children. and as for the weight loss you are right, i think that i am going to get back to doing ww along with my working out. thanks :)

[bcky2]

thanks so much for your kind words, i do think it is so easy to loose ourselves when we start to raise children. and as for the weight loss you are right, i think that i am going to get back to doing ww along with my working out. thanks :)

[bcky2]

thanks so much for your kind words, i do think it is so easy to loose ourselves when we start to raise children. and as for the weight loss you are right, i think that i am going to get back to doing ww along with my working out. thanks :)

[bcky2]

thanks so much for your kind words, i do think it is so easy to loose ourselves when we start to raise children. and as for the weight loss you are right, i think that i am going to get back to doing ww along with my working out. thanks :)

[bcky2]

thanks, ill take all the hugs i can get these days :)

[bcky2]

thanks, ill take all the hugs i can get these days :)

[bcky2]

thanks, ill take all the hugs i can get these days :)

[bcky2]

thanks, ill take all the hugs i can get these days :)

[bcky2]

thanks, ill take all the hugs i can get these days :)

[bcky2]

thanks, ill take all the hugs i can get these days :)

[bcky2]

thanks, ill take all the hugs i can get these days :)

[bcky2]

thanks, ill take all the hugs i can get these days :)

[bcky2]

thanks, ill take all the hugs i can get these days :)

[bcky2]

thanks lynn :) sometimes i only have like one anxiety attack a month or even every two months but then there are the times they just keep coming. i just ordered t-tapp and it is a workout video but it also stabilizes blood sugars and mood swings from what i understand. i really really hate meds so i really want to find other ways around the attacks. i hate to see my post when i turn 40 ;)

[bcky2]

thanks lynn :) sometimes i only have like one anxiety attack a month or even every two months but then there are the times they just keep coming. i just ordered t-tapp and it is a workout video but it also stabilizes blood sugars and mood swings from what i understand. i really really hate meds so i really want to find other ways around the attacks. i hate to see my post when i turn 40 ;)

[bcky2]

thanks lynn :) sometimes i only have like one anxiety attack a month or even every two months but then there are the times they just keep coming. i just ordered t-tapp and it is a workout video but it also stabilizes blood sugars and mood swings from what i understand. i really really hate meds so i really want to find other ways around the attacks. i hate to see my post when i turn 40 ;)

[bcky2]

thanks lynn :) sometimes i only have like one anxiety attack a month or even every two months but then there are the times they just keep coming. i just ordered t-tapp and it is a workout video but it also stabilizes blood sugars and mood swings from what i understand. i really really hate meds so i really want to find other ways around the attacks. i hate to see my post when i turn 40 ;)

[bcky2]

thanks lynn :) sometimes i only have like one anxiety attack a month or even every two months but then there are the times they just keep coming. i just ordered t-tapp and it is a workout video but it also stabilizes blood sugars and mood swings from what i understand. i really really hate meds so i really want to find other ways around the attacks. i hate to see my post when i turn 40 ;)

[bcky2]

thanks lynn :) sometimes i only have like one anxiety attack a month or even every two months but then there are the times they just keep coming. i just ordered t-tapp and it is a workout video but it also stabilizes blood sugars and mood swings from what i understand. i really really hate meds so i really want to find other ways around the attacks. i hate to see my post when i turn 40 ;)

[bcky2]

thanks lynn :) sometimes i only have like one anxiety attack a month or even every two months but then there are the times they just keep coming. i just ordered t-tapp and it is a workout video but it also stabilizes blood sugars and mood swings from what i understand. i really really hate meds so i really want to find other ways around the attacks. i hate to see my post when i turn 40 ;)

[bcky2]

thanks lynn :) sometimes i only have like one anxiety attack a month or even every two months but then there are the times they just keep coming. i just ordered t-tapp and it is a workout video but it also stabilizes blood sugars and mood swings from what i understand. i really really hate meds so i really want to find other ways around the attacks. i hate to see my post when i turn 40 ;)

[bcky2]

thanks lynn :) sometimes i only have like one anxiety attack a month or even every two months but then there are the times they just keep coming. i just ordered t-tapp and it is a workout video but it also stabilizes blood sugars and mood swings from what i understand. i really really hate meds so i really want to find other ways around the attacks. i hate to see my post when i turn 40 ;)

[Lynnie]

well I am a firm believer in exercise. I had pretty bad PPD after each kid, and I started feeling that way around christmas this year (right before the big 40) but had no baby to blame. I was thinking of trying the meds again, but when I was finally able to exercise consistently (which in turn made me want to eat healthier) it has made so much of a difference.

Hang in there sweetie, and just think, when your 40 comes around, I will be... um, 46. yeah, that's where I'll be in ten years....

[Lynnie]

well I am a firm believer in exercise. I had pretty bad PPD after each kid, and I started feeling that way around christmas this year (right before the big 40) but had no baby to blame. I was thinking of trying the meds again, but when I was finally able to exercise consistently (which in turn made me want to eat healthier) it has made so much of a difference.

Hang in there sweetie, and just think, when your 40 comes around, I will be... um, 46. yeah, that's where I'll be in ten years....

[Lynnie]

well I am a firm believer in exercise. I had pretty bad PPD after each kid, and I started feeling that way around christmas this year (right before the big 40) but had no baby to blame. I was thinking of trying the meds again, but when I was finally able to exercise consistently (which in turn made me want to eat healthier) it has made so much of a difference.

Hang in there sweetie, and just think, when your 40 comes around, I will be... um, 46. yeah, that's where I'll be in ten years....

[Lynnie]

well I am a firm believer in exercise. I had pretty bad PPD after each kid, and I started feeling that way around christmas this year (right before the big 40) but had no baby to blame. I was thinking of trying the meds again, but when I was finally able to exercise consistently (which in turn made me want to eat healthier) it has made so much of a difference.

Hang in there sweetie, and just think, when your 40 comes around, I will be... um, 46. yeah, that's where I'll be in ten years....

[Lynnie]

well I am a firm believer in exercise. I had pretty bad PPD after each kid, and I started feeling that way around christmas this year (right before the big 40) but had no baby to blame. I was thinking of trying the meds again, but when I was finally able to exercise consistently (which in turn made me want to eat healthier) it has made so much of a difference.

Hang in there sweetie, and just think, when your 40 comes around, I will be... um, 46. yeah, that's where I'll be in ten years....

[Lynnie]

well I am a firm believer in exercise. I had pretty bad PPD after each kid, and I started feeling that way around christmas this year (right before the big 40) but had no baby to blame. I was thinking of trying the meds again, but when I was finally able to exercise consistently (which in turn made me want to eat healthier) it has made so much of a difference.

Hang in there sweetie, and just think, when your 40 comes around, I will be... um, 46. yeah, that's where I'll be in ten years....

[Lynnie]

well I am a firm believer in exercise. I had pretty bad PPD after each kid, and I started feeling that way around christmas this year (right before the big 40) but had no baby to blame. I was thinking of trying the meds again, but when I was finally able to exercise consistently (which in turn made me want to eat healthier) it has made so much of a difference.

Hang in there sweetie, and just think, when your 40 comes around, I will be... um, 46. yeah, that's where I'll be in ten years....

[Lynnie]

well I am a firm believer in exercise. I had pretty bad PPD after each kid, and I started feeling that way around christmas this year (right before the big 40) but had no baby to blame. I was thinking of trying the meds again, but when I was finally able to exercise consistently (which in turn made me want to eat healthier) it has made so much of a difference.

Hang in there sweetie, and just think, when your 40 comes around, I will be... um, 46. yeah, that's where I'll be in ten years....

[Lynnie]

well I am a firm believer in exercise. I had pretty bad PPD after each kid, and I started feeling that way around christmas this year (right before the big 40) but had no baby to blame. I was thinking of trying the meds again, but when I was finally able to exercise consistently (which in turn made me want to eat healthier) it has made so much of a difference.

Hang in there sweetie, and just think, when your 40 comes around, I will be... um, 46. yeah, that's where I'll be in ten years....

[bcky2]

lmao, 46. heehee! ok so that video should be here by sat i think and i will start that up with some walking in the evening. i know that you are on the mommy fit forum so feel free to to ride my butt to make sure i am sticking to my plan :)

[bcky2]

lmao, 46. heehee! ok so that video should be here by sat i think and i will start that up with some walking in the evening. i know that you are on the mommy fit forum so feel free to to ride my butt to make sure i am sticking to my plan :)

[bcky2]

lmao, 46. heehee! ok so that video should be here by sat i think and i will start that up with some walking in the evening. i know that you are on the mommy fit forum so feel free to to ride my butt to make sure i am sticking to my plan :)

[bcky2]

lmao, 46. heehee! ok so that video should be here by sat i think and i will start that up with some walking in the evening. i know that you are on the mommy fit forum so feel free to to ride my butt to make sure i am sticking to my plan :)

[bcky2]

lmao, 46. heehee! ok so that video should be here by sat i think and i will start that up with some walking in the evening. i know that you are on the mommy fit forum so feel free to to ride my butt to make sure i am sticking to my plan :)

[bcky2]

lmao, 46. heehee! ok so that video should be here by sat i think and i will start that up with some walking in the evening. i know that you are on the mommy fit forum so feel free to to ride my butt to make sure i am sticking to my plan :)

[bcky2]

lmao, 46. heehee! ok so that video should be here by sat i think and i will start that up with some walking in the evening. i know that you are on the mommy fit forum so feel free to to ride my butt to make sure i am sticking to my plan :)

[bcky2]

lmao, 46. heehee! ok so that video should be here by sat i think and i will start that up with some walking in the evening. i know that you are on the mommy fit forum so feel free to to ride my butt to make sure i am sticking to my plan :)

[bcky2]

lmao, 46. heehee! ok so that video should be here by sat i think and i will start that up with some walking in the evening. i know that you are on the mommy fit forum so feel free to to ride my butt to make sure i am sticking to my plan :)

[BaileyBea]

Becky,

Big ((HUG)) hang in there! I read your post and I thought something different than most posters. I think we all hit milestones years by reflecting what we did the past and where we are. This can really happen at anytime for any of us. It's just that one thing that triggers it off.

When I read your post I felt like you were confronting all those demons in the closet that maybe keep you from moving forward on the next step in your life. While smoking is not necessarily healthy. Especially when you have done so well the last few years w/o smoking. I did think the closure that you want with that guy you dated and the realization that you would like to lose some weight were very healthy realizations to confronting your past and present head-on.

You sent off the letter, if you hear from him and you are able to get answers Great! If not then you need to look inside yourself and be okay with the situation knowing that you did everything you could to provide closure. Accept the results and try not to think of it again. You have turned your life around.. keep looking forward and don't look back. You need to find peace with the past.

Next.. the weight thing. Well smoking isn't going to solve the weight problem. I think confronting your eating choices is a good thing. It does take a lot of work to make healthy choices. You got some great advice in this department already, but I just wanted you to know that I really felt you were brave to send that letter, to admit these problems. You are a great Mom and a cool chick! You are on the right track to fix these things even though it feels like an anxiety attack.

From someone in her mid-30's now let's just say that it gets better. I am more confident, mature, and together in my 30's than I was in my 20's. I like to think women get better with age. They get wiser. ;-)

Now don't be so hard on yourself. Big (HUG)!

[BaileyBea]

Becky,

Big ((HUG)) hang in there! I read your post and I thought something different than most posters. I think we all hit milestones years by reflecting what we did the past and where we are. This can really happen at anytime for any of us. It's just that one thing that triggers it off.

When I read your post I felt like you were confronting all those demons in the closet that maybe keep you from moving forward on the next step in your life. While smoking is not necessarily healthy. Especially when you have done so well the last few years w/o smoking. I did think the closure that you want with that guy you dated and the realization that you would like to lose some weight were very healthy realizations to confronting your past and present head-on.

You sent off the letter, if you hear from him and you are able to get answers Great! If not then you need to look inside yourself and be okay with the situation knowing that you did everything you could to provide closure. Accept the results and try not to think of it again. You have turned your life around.. keep looking forward and don't look back. You need to find peace with the past.

Next.. the weight thing. Well smoking isn't going to solve the weight problem. I think confronting your eating choices is a good thing. It does take a lot of work to make healthy choices. You got some great advice in this department already, but I just wanted you to know that I really felt you were brave to send that letter, to admit these problems. You are a great Mom and a cool chick! You are on the right track to fix these things even though it feels like an anxiety attack.

From someone in her mid-30's now let's just say that it gets better. I am more confident, mature, and together in my 30's than I was in my 20's. I like to think women get better with age. They get wiser. ;-)

Now don't be so hard on yourself. Big (HUG)!

[BaileyBea]

Becky,

Big ((HUG)) hang in there! I read your post and I thought something different than most posters. I think we all hit milestones years by reflecting what we did the past and where we are. This can really happen at anytime for any of us. It's just that one thing that triggers it off.

When I read your post I felt like you were confronting all those demons in the closet that maybe keep you from moving forward on the next step in your life. While smoking is not necessarily healthy. Especially when you have done so well the last few years w/o smoking. I did think the closure that you want with that guy you dated and the realization that you would like to lose some weight were very healthy realizations to confronting your past and present head-on.

You sent off the letter, if you hear from him and you are able to get answers Great! If not then you need to look inside yourself and be okay with the situation knowing that you did everything you could to provide closure. Accept the results and try not to think of it again. You have turned your life around.. keep looking forward and don't look back. You need to find peace with the past.

Next.. the weight thing. Well smoking isn't going to solve the weight problem. I think confronting your eating choices is a good thing. It does take a lot of work to make healthy choices. You got some great advice in this department already, but I just wanted you to know that I really felt you were brave to send that letter, to admit these problems. You are a great Mom and a cool chick! You are on the right track to fix these things even though it feels like an anxiety attack.

From someone in her mid-30's now let's just say that it gets better. I am more confident, mature, and together in my 30's than I was in my 20's. I like to think women get better with age. They get wiser. ;-)

Now don't be so hard on yourself. Big (HUG)!

[BaileyBea]

Becky,

Big ((HUG)) hang in there! I read your post and I thought something different than most posters. I think we all hit milestones years by reflecting what we did the past and where we are. This can really happen at anytime for any of us. It's just that one thing that triggers it off.

When I read your post I felt like you were confronting all those demons in the closet that maybe keep you from moving forward on the next step in your life. While smoking is not necessarily healthy. Especially when you have done so well the last few years w/o smoking. I did think the closure that you want with that guy you dated and the realization that you would like to lose some weight were very healthy realizations to confronting your past and present head-on.

You sent off the letter, if you hear from him and you are able to get answers Great! If not then you need to look inside yourself and be okay with the situation knowing that you did everything you could to provide closure. Accept the results and try not to think of it again. You have turned your life around.. keep looking forward and don't look back. You need to find peace with the past.

Next.. the weight thing. Well smoking isn't going to solve the weight problem. I think confronting your eating choices is a good thing. It does take a lot of work to make healthy choices. You got some great advice in this department already, but I just wanted you to know that I really felt you were brave to send that letter, to admit these problems. You are a great Mom and a cool chick! You are on the right track to fix these things even though it feels like an anxiety attack.

From someone in her mid-30's now let's just say that it gets better. I am more confident, mature, and together in my 30's than I was in my 20's. I like to think women get better with age. They get wiser. ;-)

Now don't be so hard on yourself. Big (HUG)!

[BaileyBea]

Becky,

Big ((HUG)) hang in there! I read your post and I thought something different than most posters. I think we all hit milestones years by reflecting what we did the past and where we are. This can really happen at anytime for any of us. It's just that one thing that triggers it off.

When I read your post I felt like you were confronting all those demons in the closet that maybe keep you from moving forward on the next step in your life. While smoking is not necessarily healthy. Especially when you have done so well the last few years w/o smoking. I did think the closure that you want with that guy you dated and the realization that you would like to lose some weight were very healthy realizations to confronting your past and present head-on.

You sent off the letter, if you hear from him and you are able to get answers Great! If not then you need to look inside yourself and be okay with the situation knowing that you did everything you could to provide closure. Accept the results and try not to think of it again. You have turned your life around.. keep looking forward and don't look back. You need to find peace with the past.

Next.. the weight thing. Well smoking isn't going to solve the weight problem. I think confronting your eating choices is a good thing. It does take a lot of work to make healthy choices. You got some great advice in this department already, but I just wanted you to know that I really felt you were brave to send that letter, to admit these problems. You are a great Mom and a cool chick! You are on the right track to fix these things even though it feels like an anxiety attack.

From someone in her mid-30's now let's just say that it gets better. I am more confident, mature, and together in my 30's than I was in my 20's. I like to think women get better with age. They get wiser. ;-)

Now don't be so hard on yourself. Big (HUG)!

[BaileyBea]

Becky,

Big ((HUG)) hang in there! I read your post and I thought something different than most posters. I think we all hit milestones years by reflecting what we did the past and where we are. This can really happen at anytime for any of us. It's just that one thing that triggers it off.

When I read your post I felt like you were confronting all those demons in the closet that maybe keep you from moving forward on the next step in your life. While smoking is not necessarily healthy. Especially when you have done so well the last few years w/o smoking. I did think the closure that you want with that guy you dated and the realization that you would like to lose some weight were very healthy realizations to confronting your past and present head-on.

You sent off the letter, if you hear from him and you are able to get answers Great! If not then you need to look inside yourself and be okay with the situation knowing that you did everything you could to provide closure. Accept the results and try not to think of it again. You have turned your life around.. keep looking forward and don't look back. You need to find peace with the past.

Next.. the weight thing. Well smoking isn't going to solve the weight problem. I think confronting your eating choices is a good thing. It does take a lot of work to make healthy choices. You got some great advice in this department already, but I just wanted you to know that I really felt you were brave to send that letter, to admit these problems. You are a great Mom and a cool chick! You are on the right track to fix these things even though it feels like an anxiety attack.

From someone in her mid-30's now let's just say that it gets better. I am more confident, mature, and together in my 30's than I was in my 20's. I like to think women get better with age. They get wiser. ;-)

Now don't be so hard on yourself. Big (HUG)!

[BaileyBea]

Becky,

Big ((HUG)) hang in there! I read your post and I thought something different than most posters. I think we all hit milestones years by reflecting what we did the past and where we are. This can really happen at anytime for any of us. It's just that one thing that triggers it off.

When I read your post I felt like you were confronting all those demons in the closet that maybe keep you from moving forward on the next step in your life. While smoking is not necessarily healthy. Especially when you have done so well the last few years w/o smoking. I did think the closure that you want with that guy you dated and the realization that you would like to lose some weight were very healthy realizations to confronting your past and present head-on.

You sent off the letter, if you hear from him and you are able to get answers Great! If not then you need to look inside yourself and be okay with the situation knowing that you did everything you could to provide closure. Accept the results and try not to think of it again. You have turned your life around.. keep looking forward and don't look back. You need to find peace with the past.

Next.. the weight thing. Well smoking isn't going to solve the weight problem. I think confronting your eating choices is a good thing. It does take a lot of work to make healthy choices. You got some great advice in this department already, but I just wanted you to know that I really felt you were brave to send that letter, to admit these problems. You are a great Mom and a cool chick! You are on the right track to fix these things even though it feels like an anxiety attack.

From someone in her mid-30's now let's just say that it gets better. I am more confident, mature, and together in my 30's than I was in my 20's. I like to think women get better with age. They get wiser. ;-)

Now don't be so hard on yourself. Big (HUG)!

[BaileyBea]

Becky,

Big ((HUG)) hang in there! I read your post and I thought something different than most posters. I think we all hit milestones years by reflecting what we did the past and where we are. This can really happen at anytime for any of us. It's just that one thing that triggers it off.

When I read your post I felt like you were confronting all those demons in the closet that maybe keep you from moving forward on the next step in your life. While smoking is not necessarily healthy. Especially when you have done so well the last few years w/o smoking. I did think the closure that you want with that guy you dated and the realization that you would like to lose some weight were very healthy realizations to confronting your past and present head-on.

You sent off the letter, if you hear from him and you are able to get answers Great! If not then you need to look inside yourself and be okay with the situation knowing that you did everything you could to provide closure. Accept the results and try not to think of it again. You have turned your life around.. keep looking forward and don't look back. You need to find peace with the past.

Next.. the weight thing. Well smoking isn't going to solve the weight problem. I think confronting your eating choices is a good thing. It does take a lot of work to make healthy choices. You got some great advice in this department already, but I just wanted you to know that I really felt you were brave to send that letter, to admit these problems. You are a great Mom and a cool chick! You are on the right track to fix these things even though it feels like an anxiety attack.

From someone in her mid-30's now let's just say that it gets better. I am more confident, mature, and together in my 30's than I was in my 20's. I like to think women get better with age. They get wiser. ;-)

Now don't be so hard on yourself. Big (HUG)!

[BaileyBea]

Becky,

Big ((HUG)) hang in there! I read your post and I thought something different than most posters. I think we all hit milestones years by reflecting what we did the past and where we are. This can really happen at anytime for any of us. It's just that one thing that triggers it off.

When I read your post I felt like you were confronting all those demons in the closet that maybe keep you from moving forward on the next step in your life. While smoking is not necessarily healthy. Especially when you have done so well the last few years w/o smoking. I did think the closure that you want with that guy you dated and the realization that you would like to lose some weight were very healthy realizations to confronting your past and present head-on.

You sent off the letter, if you hear from him and you are able to get answers Great! If not then you need to look inside yourself and be okay with the situation knowing that you did everything you could to provide closure. Accept the results and try not to think of it again. You have turned your life around.. keep looking forward and don't look back. You need to find peace with the past.

Next.. the weight thing. Well smoking isn't going to solve the weight problem. I think confronting your eating choices is a good thing. It does take a lot of work to make healthy choices. You got some great advice in this department already, but I just wanted you to know that I really felt you were brave to send that letter, to admit these problems. You are a great Mom and a cool chick! You are on the right track to fix these things even though it feels like an anxiety attack.

From someone in her mid-30's now let's just say that it gets better. I am more confident, mature, and together in my 30's than I was in my 20's. I like to think women get better with age. They get wiser. ;-)

Now don't be so hard on yourself. Big (HUG)!

[bcky2]

snif snif, i wish i could rate you over and over again. you always give such great advice and a different view point. i have spent so many years being what everyone "thought" i should be i dont think that i have done what i want to do or lived how i want to. once i cleaned up i tried to do everything that others would see as "correct" and "the right way" now i am saying that i am doing it my way :) i got so caught up in what others think that i forgot about what i think. i also think that a little ity bity part of me wants to stand in front of my x and say see, you didnt break me and i came out of it a better person then you ever were, how sad is that. like rubbing it in his face, so childish but i so want to do it }( thanks for your point of view, and letting me know that it does get better. um, big tmi, but i think at least my sex drive is kicking in :o ahhhh the 30's

[bcky2]

snif snif, i wish i could rate you over and over again. you always give such great advice and a different view point. i have spent so many years being what everyone "thought" i should be i dont think that i have done what i want to do or lived how i want to. once i cleaned up i tried to do everything that others would see as "correct" and "the right way" now i am saying that i am doing it my way :) i got so caught up in what others think that i forgot about what i think. i also think that a little ity bity part of me wants to stand in front of my x and say see, you didnt break me and i came out of it a better person then you ever were, how sad is that. like rubbing it in his face, so childish but i so want to do it }( thanks for your point of view, and letting me know that it does get better. um, big tmi, but i think at least my sex drive is kicking in :o ahhhh the 30's

[bcky2]

snif snif, i wish i could rate you over and over again. you always give such great advice and a different view point. i have spent so many years being what everyone "thought" i should be i dont think that i have done what i want to do or lived how i want to. once i cleaned up i tried to do everything that others would see as "correct" and "the right way" now i am saying that i am doing it my way :) i got so caught up in what others think that i forgot about what i think. i also think that a little ity bity part of me wants to stand in front of my x and say see, you didnt break me and i came out of it a better person then you ever were, how sad is that. like rubbing it in his face, so childish but i so want to do it }( thanks for your point of view, and letting me know that it does get better. um, big tmi, but i think at least my sex drive is kicking in :o ahhhh the 30's

[bcky2]

snif snif, i wish i could rate you over and over again. you always give such great advice and a different view point. i have spent so many years being what everyone "thought" i should be i dont think that i have done what i want to do or lived how i want to. once i cleaned up i tried to do everything that others would see as "correct" and "the right way" now i am saying that i am doing it my way :) i got so caught up in what others think that i forgot about what i think. i also think that a little ity bity part of me wants to stand in front of my x and say see, you didnt break me and i came out of it a better person then you ever were, how sad is that. like rubbing it in his face, so childish but i so want to do it }( thanks for your point of view, and letting me know that it does get better. um, big tmi, but i think at least my sex drive is kicking in :o ahhhh the 30's

[bcky2]

snif snif, i wish i could rate you over and over again. you always give such great advice and a different view point. i have spent so many years being what everyone "thought" i should be i dont think that i have done what i want to do or lived how i want to. once i cleaned up i tried to do everything that others would see as "correct" and "the right way" now i am saying that i am doing it my way :) i got so caught up in what others think that i forgot about what i think. i also think that a little ity bity part of me wants to stand in front of my x and say see, you didnt break me and i came out of it a better person then you ever were, how sad is that. like rubbing it in his face, so childish but i so want to do it }( thanks for your point of view, and letting me know that it does get better. um, big tmi, but i think at least my sex drive is kicking in :o ahhhh the 30's

[bcky2]

snif snif, i wish i could rate you over and over again. you always give such great advice and a different view point. i have spent so many years being what everyone "thought" i should be i dont think that i have done what i want to do or lived how i want to. once i cleaned up i tried to do everything that others would see as "correct" and "the right way" now i am saying that i am doing it my way :) i got so caught up in what others think that i forgot about what i think. i also think that a little ity bity part of me wants to stand in front of my x and say see, you didnt break me and i came out of it a better person then you ever were, how sad is that. like rubbing it in his face, so childish but i so want to do it }( thanks for your point of view, and letting me know that it does get better. um, big tmi, but i think at least my sex drive is kicking in :o ahhhh the 30's

[bcky2]

snif snif, i wish i could rate you over and over again. you always give such great advice and a different view point. i have spent so many years being what everyone "thought" i should be i dont think that i have done what i want to do or lived how i want to. once i cleaned up i tried to do everything that others would see as "correct" and "the right way" now i am saying that i am doing it my way :) i got so caught up in what others think that i forgot about what i think. i also think that a little ity bity part of me wants to stand in front of my x and say see, you didnt break me and i came out of it a better person then you ever were, how sad is that. like rubbing it in his face, so childish but i so want to do it }( thanks for your point of view, and letting me know that it does get better. um, big tmi, but i think at least my sex drive is kicking in :o ahhhh the 30's

[bcky2]

snif snif, i wish i could rate you over and over again. you always give such great advice and a different view point. i have spent so many years being what everyone "thought" i should be i dont think that i have done what i want to do or lived how i want to. once i cleaned up i tried to do everything that others would see as "correct" and "the right way" now i am saying that i am doing it my way :) i got so caught up in what others think that i forgot about what i think. i also think that a little ity bity part of me wants to stand in front of my x and say see, you didnt break me and i came out of it a better person then you ever were, how sad is that. like rubbing it in his face, so childish but i so want to do it }( thanks for your point of view, and letting me know that it does get better. um, big tmi, but i think at least my sex drive is kicking in :o ahhhh the 30's

[bcky2]

snif snif, i wish i could rate you over and over again. you always give such great advice and a different view point. i have spent so many years being what everyone "thought" i should be i dont think that i have done what i want to do or lived how i want to. once i cleaned up i tried to do everything that others would see as "correct" and "the right way" now i am saying that i am doing it my way :) i got so caught up in what others think that i forgot about what i think. i also think that a little ity bity part of me wants to stand in front of my x and say see, you didnt break me and i came out of it a better person then you ever were, how sad is that. like rubbing it in his face, so childish but i so want to do it }( thanks for your point of view, and letting me know that it does get better. um, big tmi, but i think at least my sex drive is kicking in :o ahhhh the 30's