Feeling pretty overwhelmed....Need Some Advice

[denna]

So Im beginning to feel pretty overwhelmed here. I have been working FT (after the pregnancy) since DS was 7 weeks, and it hasnt been easy but now its beginning to feel overwhleming. My husband also works FT and we have a private sitter. I really need some advice on how to fit more hours into the day :). Let me run you through our typical day and she if someone can help w/ some sort of fix...

We get up about 5am every morning (Mon-Fri) my husband takes a shaves and takes a shower while I make DS a bottle, and begin feeding him. Then I take the next shower, while DH continues feedin DS and changes him.
Then we TRY to leave the house by 630am (640am at the LATEST) in order to get to the sitters by 7am. We drop of DS by 7am on Tues and Thurs and by 630am on Mon/Wed/Fri.
Then my DH gets off at about 430pm, I get off anywhere between 5-7pm. So DH usually goes to pick up DS by himself and may go to the grocery store or what not.
So we get home on average by 630pm every night. That gives us just enough time to play w/ DS, cook dinner, feed DS, get DS to sleep (by 830pm-9pm) and clean-up (dishes, etc) just in time to go to bed by 11pm (at the LATEST, we prefer 10pm).
And then it starts all over again. Is there a better way to manage our time? I mean should we be getting up earlier..something?

I would like to have more time w/ my DS and have some time to work out as well. This never seems to happen, as a matter of fact I have worked out once since the baby was born.....any suggestions?!? (Besides quitting my job cant do that) :)

Thanks for listening...

Denna

[kozachka]

No real advice. Just wanted to send you hugs. We are struggling to get more hours into our day as well by cooking only once or twice a week and hiring help. Not to scare you but I felt pretty overwhelmed for the first 2-2.5 years of DS life and I was SAHM. DH hardly helped at all with DS so that was part of the reason I am sure.

Sounds like you can not be getting up any earlier than you already do and function well during the rest of the day.

[Momof3Labs]

Honestly, carryout (or sandwiches) and paper plates. Or cook meals ahead and just pull out of the freezer. I only work a few days a week, but they are long days and it is tough to fit quality time in with the kids on those days.

Can you work with your employer so that you can leave closer to 5pm every day? And perhaps even do a little work at home? Then you'd have more time with DS before he goes to sleep, though it would cut into DH time afterwards.

[denna]

Thank you Lori, do you have any suggestions about meals to prepare ahead of time? We have had a lot of ppl suggest that to us, but we have no idea what meals to plan ahead for and possibly cook and freeze. Anything you could suggest would be great.

Thanks so much....

[Momof3Labs]

we've used those meal prep places discussed in the lounge - not sure if they have opened in italy. there have been some good threads on this before - try the food forum (i have ds2 trying to "help" me at the moment or i'd search myself). especially one thread from amy/daisymommy!

[denna]

Thanks Elena for the hugs. I need to offer you some in return. It must be tough to be a SAHM and have little to no help from your DH. I couldnt imagine not having my DH around to help. You know, I have noticed that alot. That husbands of SAHM dont feel that they should help w/ the DCs since they have been working all day or what have you. And either way if you are working full time or staying home full time its tough work and Id admire you for it. I am envious of the time you are able to spend w/ your DCs BUT believe I do appreciate SAHMs and know how hard it is.

Thanks again for the hugs and kind words.

Oh and about the 2-2 1/2 years of being overwhelmed...I was kindof expecting it not to get any easier, and the funny thing is just about the time it should get easier we are planning on having another DC and doing it all over again :).

[kozachka]

You are welcome. I started working about 2.5 months ago and know first hand how you feel about not being able to spend enough quality time with DS. And by the time DS is asleep and dishes are done, I am not sure how much fun I am to be with for DH :(. At least the house does not get as messed up.

As far as food goes, we found that having some frozen bolognese sause on hand is great. Whenever DH feels like cooking (once a month or two), he'll prepare a pot of it and split it between smaller containers. Goes great with pasta. And when he feels especially in the mood, he'll prepare 2-3 lasagnas. We also marinate a lot. It's amazing how much of a difference a package of Chinese spices mixed with soy sauce and orange juice make to a chicken breast. Add a bit of garlick and ginger and you have dinner. We also have some frozen vegetables and ravioli on hand, just in case.

Hope your life gets better and you won't feel too overwhelmed to have another DC in 2-2 1/2 years.

[karolyp]

Welcome back Denna! I just wanted to send some big hugs your way too, your schedule sounds super busy! But I would also suggest preparing food beforehand. I've been using a lot of the crock pot recipes found in the cooking forum, which have helped me a lot (thank goodness for the crock pot!). Or, what about taking a shower at night and then prepping the food in the morning instead so it will all be ready for you when you or DH gets home? Also, what helps me is to plan ahead for the week's meals. On Sunday, I will make a list of what I would like to cook and all the ingredients I will need, then take that list to the store. It's helped solve the question of "what should I cook tonight" and also helped me to save $ buy not buying all the unecessary stuff, kwim?

Anyhow, I hoped this has helped and big hugs again.

[Sillygirl]

Is there any way you could swing a sitter that comes to your home, rahter than you travelling to hers? It makes things much less hectic. Of course, if you're using an in-home daycare, the expense of a nanny is a lot more, so that may not be a realistic option.

[KHF]

I was going to suggest showering at night too. It shaved about a half hour off of my morning routine right off the bat. That won't work for everyone though...a lot of it depends on your hair :-) I've also started doing a lot more meal planning. One thing that always works well for me is frozen lasagna. I make extra and freeze it in individual portions. My husband goes to school at night, so most all of the baby care falls on me. (We both work full time too) Having those individual meals in the freezer really helps. I also try to keep in frozen tilapia. It thaws really quickly and is easy to prepare on short notice. Of course, there are many nights where I just have a bowl of cereal :-)

Good luck to you!

Kirsten
DD Laurel - 8.22.2005

[nicoleandjackson]

Oh, yes! I have that one bookmarked!!!

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=37&topic_id=33713

Nicole
Mommy of Jackson 4/30/02

http://b5.lilypie.com/nD9Jm5.png

[Lovingliv]

Denna,

First pat yourself on the back for doing a great job. It is not easy to transition from person to mom and include working full time!

I only work part-time and I am exhausted ALL the time. We did hire a cleaning lady every other week. It was our joint Christmas gift to each other and the best money I spend. I don't have to spend every free minute worrying about cleaning which has taken a huge stress off of me. We have no cable tv and never eat out, but it is worth it. If you are able, I might consider that.
Do you live close to work? I spend 2 to 2.5 hours in the car on the days I work....part of the reason I am so tired! I am getting transferred shortly which will save commute time! Is that an option?
Hang in there....you are not alone and hopefully someone will give you some answers that work for you and DH!

[denna]

Thanks Karol! Its great to be back! :) I do need to look up some crock pot recipes, we actually went out and bought one a couple of months ago and have only used it once!

And the planning out meals is something I used to do before we had DS, but haven't done it since. I will definitely have to start doing that also. :) I will have to let you all know how it progresses :).

Thanks so much for the hugs and support it is greatly appreciated.

[denna]

No worries Lori, thank you for the great advice.

And thank you Nicole for having the link. I just read over it and it is perfect! I really appreciate it, I think it will help alot. And you know, I learned something new...how to bookmark! I never realized you could do that :)! This is my first bookmarked topic.

Thanks so much again.

[denna]

Thanks so much Rachel that is so sweet of you to say. I think you are the first person to tell me this since Ive became a mother and I just realized that!

It feels great to hear!

To answer your questions I do live close to work and the sitter that we drop our DS off at lives even closer to work so it works out...and not really any commute time. Just enough time to do my make up in the car since me and DH car pool :)!

Thanks again for everything!

[denna]

Thanks Elena again...

So these chinese spices mixed w/ soy and orange juice, is this how you make orange chicken? I LOVE, love, love orange chicken and havent had it in so long.... (living in Italy and all)! If you know how to make it please pass it on....

Thanks again :)

[denna]

I wish I could, believe me it would be nice to have someone to come and stay w/ DS and possibly make the meals but we havent really found anyone that could do this.

[denna]

Thanks Kirsten. Ive tried the showering at night thing but it doesnt work w/ my hair like you mentioned. But you know that brings up something else for me. I have no clue on different ways to style my hair....is there a go to stylish mom I could talk to about this? Do you have any hair tips, for someone w/ lil to no time to do hair, works in business casual environment, w/ shoulder length straight as a stick hair?

I know thats a totally new topic...just thought Id ask! Im definitely going to make some frozen dishes this weekend and let all you ladies know how it went!

Thanks so much!!!