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StantonHyde
08-22-2006, 08:20 PM
My children go to a really great daycare that is sponsored by the hospital where I work. There are about 15-20 kids in DS's 3 yo class. 3 of the kids had a combined Bday party at a park on Father's Day this year. They asked that you bring a present for just one child and they invited the whole class--good idea, I thought. I was not able to go so extended my regrets. This morning, a mom approached me and asked me DS's bday and asked me if I wanted to go in on a bday party with her. I said that we would be having a small family party for DS--he gets overwhelmed easily---and that I might look at doing a large class party in elementary school. She said that they had been invited to several large bday parties and she felt they had to reciprocate.

I was ticked for 2 reasons: These kids are turning 4 fer crying out loud!!! I refuse to buy into the "keep up with the Joneses" over a 4 yo's BDay party! And, yes, I could afford to do it--it just seems ridiculous to me.

The second thing that pissed me off is that I thought one of those BDay parties was something for a kid in class and his parents just wanted to invite the kids he plays with on the weekends. Makes sense, I invite my DS's best friend from class who we play with every weekend. But the mom who approached me is not in that group--so it seems like a lot of kids got invited but not a select few???? Good grief, what--are we in high school??? And the birthday party we didn't get invited to was for 2 kids whose parents I talk to all the time. I also helped spearhead an effort to secure grants for our daycare and so I talk to lots of people. I really felt snubbed.

I realize my son doesn't know the difference, but at some point he will. And I realize I have to prepare him--but I was hoping to face this in 5th grade, not before he turns 5!!!! I wonder if I should bring this up with the director--to ask if there is a guideline about inviting the whole class if you pass out invites, etc. And, if there is, to remind people about it. Of course, the jerks who do this won't care anyway and it will just impact the rest of us.

I tell ya, I am now more committed to talk to any parent I don't know well as I walk in and out of daycare. I do not want to be perceived as a cliqueish person and I am not always chatty before and after work. But I will work to make sure I give a nice hello to everybody. aargh.

xmasbabycomin
08-23-2006, 02:30 AM
right on sister! We were the only ones who didn't do the whole
class party thing last year for DS 3rd birthday. People were renting out moonbounces and ponies. What are these kids going to expect for their 16th birthdays?

Yes, I think if my son's Mother's Day Out wasn't at a church we wouldn't be invited to anything.

Yes, I am the only mother who doesn't send juice to school. The teacher actually told me to send it since he was the only kid who didn't have it. What if all the kids brought crack? OK, i'm exaggerating, but HELLO!

I think we're setting a good example for our kids to do what is best for us, not just to "keep up with the Joneses" - at any age

1ceng1
08-23-2006, 01:42 PM
I know, I find this birthday party nonsense crazy as well. It all starts with those over the top 1st birthdays and goes out of control from there. I swore when DC#1 was born I would never become one of those crazy moms with lavish parties. Good for you sticking with your beliefs.

ColorBlue
08-23-2006, 04:42 PM
Well I have a bit of different perspective especially on inviting just a select few. My daughter turned four and could invite seven people to her birthday, it was held at a kids hair salon and that was the maximum. (I won a gift certificate). After she invited some girls outside her class she then could invite four girls from her class. She chose the list and it was mostly the kids that she was currently playing with. Some moms I liked a lot and talked to often were not included because Grace had not been playing with their children. A few times Grace also did not get invited to parties where it was a smaller number of children. I don't feel snubbed because its not about me its about the kids and who they are playing with this week! (And I also was involved in a lot of volunteering at the school and am pretty well known). I explained to Grace and she understood that just like not everyone came to her party not everyone could go to someone else's party.

Even if we had it at home I wouldn't have invited everyone...I mean really 18 kids at a four year olds birthday party is a bit over the top....at least it is if I want to keep my sanity!!!

On another note I totally agree with you about how the parties are getting bigger and more elaborate...its totally crazy.

Hope that helps offer another perspective.

Tracy

Mom to Grace, Ella and Madeline