Just for fun - ridiculous advice stories?

[Beth568]

I'm in a bad mood, and hearing other people gripe along with me always cheers me up. ;)

So...I thought it might be fun to share stories about the worst/stupidest/most outrageous unsolicited parenting advice you've received, or the worst/stupidest/most outrageous thing someone has tried to do regarding your child.

I'm certain I have better ones, but the first thing that pops into my mind is a story from way back. My DD1 was about 4-5 months old, and we were in the checkout line at some big store (BJ's, I think). She was fussing and had been spitting out her pacifier. An older woman walked up and said, "Oh, poor baby, you need a bottle or a pacifier and your mommy isn't giving you one. Let's try this," and proceeded to try to PUT HER FINGER IN MY BABY'S MOUTH! I pushed her hand away and said, "Please don't touch my child - I don't need her to get sick." Her reply was, "But it's OK - I'm a nurse!" (as if that somehow made her hands clean, or something - when in reality it should have meant that she knew better, right?)

OK, I'm sure you all have better ones. Please share - really, I could use a laugh!

[Lynnie]

DS1's great grandma snuck him EGGS and a DANISH when he was about 7 months old. I left the breakfast table for a moment to use the ladies' room, and when I came back, his face was all sticky.

She said he looked hungry and looked like he wanted some of her food. And, her finger - she was 85 at the time, and a 3 pack a day smoker for the past 70 years, was similarly sticky. So not only did he get the eggs and cheese danish, but he got it from her finger. Love love love her, but ewwwww.

Of course, go figure, it was the younger one who has an egg allergy.

[bcky2]

when my older ds was just a few months old(like 3-4 months) i was at my sisters and he was in his car seat screaming and crying for me. my sister told me to ignore him so that he doesnt get too attached. she went over to him and he wouldnt have anything to do with her but she continued to tell me not to get in his view or say anything or pick him up, that he needs to learn not to be clingy???? whatever i went over and picked him up.

and yes he is my super clingy little man but i love him all the same, it is just his personality :)

[buddyleebaby]

I've posted this one before:
My friend told me to make sure I squirt breastmilk in dd's eyes every night to make sure her eyes didn't change color, and not to cut her hair before her first birthday or she would have trouble learning to talk.

[Wife_and_mommy]

Well, ds is getting over yet another cold he caught from DD(who caught from the library last week). He has this remnant cough that should disappear very soon. A family friend put iodine on a gauze pad and put it on his chest while the dc's visited my mom this week. It's supposed to help the congestion. Whatever.

Also, my mom fed DS jello. Yeah, the kid has barely had solids in his young life(we're going slowly) and she's feeding him artificial-color-laden jello. It wasn't worth having a cow over so I'll clarify no non-mommy-approved foods for the infant next time. ;)



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[super_grape]

I've got some good ones :)

1.) My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and while
I was LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED waiting to be WHEELED
INTO THE OR, my SIL's mother and sister came to see me
and her mother informed me that I was miscarrying because
I had made the dire mistake of taking a shower and therefore
caused my "ovaries to release what was in them" (her exact words).
According to my SIL, this is why if you are late and take a hot shower you will get your period.

2.) My MIL told me when I was PG with my oldest that I should
not eat any fat at all because the baby will take the fat from my body and that is why pregnant women always lose weight.

3.)My in-laws freak out every time we turn one of the kids
upside down because they say their "eyes will burst".

4.) When my MIL saw me cleaning the baby's belly button she
told me to stop because touching the bb will cause the baby
to develop a hernia.

Gotta love the unsolicitated advice :P !

[ShanaMama]

For some reason my IL's have this idea that if a baby looks upwards (like rolling eyes up towards forehead) s/he will become permanently cross-eyed. I can't tell you how many times I've laid DD on the couch with one of her uncles or aunts sitting near her head. As soon as she started looking up at them, they'd freak out that she cant look 'backwards'. Every time I tell them- "That's ridiculous, she's not gonna get cross-eyed from looking up."
Inevitably, the second I finish saying that, MIL walks in & says "Get away from their. It's dangerous for the baby to look backwards!!"
Um, yes I do plan on showing my daughter the blue sky, birds & airplanes. Sorry if that upsets you!

[ribbit1019]

WHAT!!! That is soooo crazy, I swear I haven't read that before.

Christy
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[bcky2]

ok you have the oddest inlaws hands down :)

[buttergirl12]

I don't know where she got this from but my then 17 year old stepdaughter would tell me when DS was under 1 year old when you make an infant laugh you will damage their voice and they won't be able to talk.
The most ridiculous part of the story is that my DH believed her over me when I said that's not true.

Manja
WAHM to J 10/2003

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[s_gosney]

Well, dh's grandma told me I should make sure to swim while pregnant so dd would like the water. Uh, yeah. She's surrounded by liquid regardless of what I'm doing.

Our best stories since dd's birth all revolve around her birthmark. We've had people try to sell us all sorts of stuff (including emu oil and something else I can't remember the name of--interrupting our dinner at a restaurant to tell us this!) and one man coming up to us as we're paying at a restaurant to ask about what happened to her face. When I explained that it was a birthmark, he said "it's gonna be gone in Jesus' name." Um, yeah. We're Christians, but I'm pretty sure a key tenant of Christianity is that God cares about our hearts not our appearances. Weirdos. All of them...

Fun thread!

[punkrockmama]

>I've posted this one before:
>My friend told me to make sure I squirt breastmilk in dd's
>eyes every night to make sure her eyes didn't change color,
>and not to cut her hair before her first birthday or she would
>have trouble learning to talk.


WHAT? Seriously, WTF? Bawawahhaa. Alicia, you are making that up!


One of my great aunts told me to hang Peyton upside down if he ever got his days and nights mixed up sleep-wise.

[mommy111]

The squirt breast milk into baby's eyes is just plain not nice. Besides, what does she think you are, a water gun??????????

[set81616]

It's not fat that's bad for you it's sugar as MIL and her boyfriend try to give my 10 month old son a huge piece of bacon. Saying this as they each put over 1/2 cup of sugar on oatmeal. GET AWAY FROM MY CHILD!!!! My poor son was so constipated afer a day and a half there and that's with me trying to monitor and cover his mouth with my hand.
Shannon

[o_mom]

Actually it is a great treatment for pinkeye. :-) (But I don't think they need it everyday and it won't do anything for eye color)

[firstbaby]

How about the older cashier at the grocery store telling me that DS was going to need braces because he had a pacifier. He was just over a year at the time. She said "all of the kids need braces these days because of those things". I told her "I respect that you have an opinion but unfortunately you are completely mistaken.".

[super_grape]

Yeah, they've got some doosies but thankfully
now they respect us enuf to bite their tongue's,
or maybe their just tired of arguing with me...
poor in-laws :P !

[californiagirl]

I am standing with baby in arms and cart full of groceries. Baby starts fussing, demanding to get INTO cart. I put baby into cart, and as she starts to calm down but wants me to MOVE the cart, the woman in front of me turns around, and in the sweetest, gentlest possible way, suggests that she might be happier being carried, have I tried a sling? Fortunately she was nice about it so I merely found it funny.

I also got told she was going to catch cold because her feet were bare, couldn't I see she was freezing? Umm, overheated small child just stuck her sweaty little feet out of the sling -- it's in the 70s here and too WARM for her in the sun.

Oh, and I was told to keep her from sucking on her fingers at the age of 4 weeks, and never to talk babytalk to her, it would damage her language acquisition. Oh and so would baby sign. Well, if it was damaged, it was intended to be way, way, way off the charts -- I can live with my 2.5 year old who says things like "We went to the shoe store to buy new shoes because my old black shoes with the purple flowers on them were dead. Actually, a shark ate them." And MIL is convinced that I followed her finger-sucking advice, since DD does not currently suck on anything. Umm, no, actually, she grew out of it. And her hips? They are not good because I followed your double-diapering advice, they are good because they came out that way.

[AngelaS]

My MIL told me to use her mom's method to get my dd to stop sucking her thumb.

Stick it in dog poop.

Um...no.

[buddyleebaby]

EW

[ribbit1019]

I've heard of whiskey water on the gums right? Rubbed on the gums from what I understand. But I had a conversation with a mom whose mother gave her daughter a shot of whiskey when she was teething. I think that would take the pain away from anything in a four month old!

O.k. and the other one I can think of was my sister's boyfriend's mother. (did you follow that? he needs to propose already!) I was saying how DS hadn't had any solids yet, breifly outlining why we were waiting. She YELLED at me and said that her kids were eating cheerios at two weeks and I was depriving him and blah blah blah. Um, I'm sure they weren't, and I'm not, but whatever. I hit her with the "Well, things do change and it has been a while since your kids were small." I wanted to say "Shut up and don't yell at me like I am four." Grrr.

Christy
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[buddyleebaby]

I also got told she was going to catch cold because her feet were bare, couldn't I see she was freezing?

WHy do people DO that? A woman stopped me in the parking lot on my way to the ped when dd was four days old to say "Don't you have a blanket for her?" Um, no. It was like 86 that day.

[alicia67]

Yesterday, we were at the optometrist with G (our 13 month foster son) and this older woman went on and on and on about the fact that G was not wearing shoes and socks (he had a pair of softsoled Pediped sandles on) and said it was dangerous and he'd never learn how to walk and again how dangerous it was.

After trying to be nice, DH eventually told her she should mind her own business!

[alicia67]

>I've got some good ones :)
>
>1.) My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and while
>I was LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED waiting to be WHEELED
>INTO THE OR, my SIL's mother and sister came to see me
>and her mother informed me that I was miscarrying because
>I had made the dire mistake of taking a shower and therefore
>caused my "ovaries to release what was in them" (her exact
>words).
>According to my SIL, this is why if you are late and take a
>hot shower you will get your period.
>
>2.) My MIL told me when I was PG with my oldest that I should
>
>not eat any fat at all because the baby will take the fat from
>my body and that is why pregnant women always lose weight.
>
>3.)My in-laws freak out every time we turn one of the kids
>upside down because they say their "eyes will burst".
>
>4.) When my MIL saw me cleaning the baby's belly button she
>told me to stop because touching the bb will cause the baby
>to develop a hernia.
>
>Gotta love the unsolicitated advice :P !


OMG!!! Those are pretty out there!

[ChefGirl]

Here is one ridiculous advice story from MIL, who else?

Background:
We were over at IL's house. DS was playing with FIL with one of those spiral "yo yo" like thing. FIL let go of his end and snapped right back at DS' face. Thank God it didn't hit his eyes! I was furious! DS' face was swollen immediately. I was rushed to get some ice cubes wrapped with some paper towel since they have absolutely nothing in that house that is child friendly. Anyway, get this, MIL offered her advice: "get an egg to put on his face"! Ugh? WTF? Raw Eggs? I DON'T THINK SO....

[oliviasmomma]

Another whiskey cure here--my mom insisted, over and over and over that we should have rubbed whisky on her gums for teething, and then but a bit in a bottle right before bed. WTF??!!

My mom also said "Good luck" when I told her DD was going to EBF until 6months. When she was about 2.5 mo she started bringing up cereal every time we visited--in this serious, you're hurting your child, sort of tone. I'm still not over it.

My mom was also really bothered by the fact the DD didn't wear shoes. She was born in April, so it's not like it was cold. She must have given us five paris of shoes for DD in the first few months. Oh, and my grandma thought our cats would somehow kill Olivia in her sleep and said we shouldn't let them near her.

[Mommy Of A Little Angel]

My mom never breastfed any of us so she thinks it's ridiculous that I breastfeed DD. She also says she needs "real food" because she is a big girl. DD is 4 1/2 months old and she is 25.5 inches tall and 17lbs 4 oz. Chubby is good in my opinion and I don't see how giving her things other than breast milk is going to help her in any way. Of course my mom keeps telling me how she gave me food at 2 weeks. Oh, and she swears that by two months I was gnawing on pizza crust and drinking soda from a sippy cup. So the fact that DD has never so much as had baby cereal is killing her.

Oh, and she keeps telling me how "silly" it was to wake DD up in the middle of the night the first few weeks to feed her. She doesn't get that I was doing that to ensure I got my milk supply up so I could be successful with breastfeeding. She was telling my aunt about this at dinner the other night and DH was so fed up that he finally said "it was not silly, it was necessary". She still blew him off, but at least he tried!