A bitch about grandparents playing favorites

[pixiepoo]

I commute 1 hour each way to work every day. I despise the drive & dont like being so far from the boys during the day. Part of the reason I do this is b/c both sets of grandparents live 15-20 minutes away from us. My 3 year old is in preschool 2 days a week & before enrolling him I talked with my mother & my exhusbands parents about getting ds from daycare, taking him to preschool & then picking him up those 2 days. When I asked it was no problem at all. My exhusband works out of town so he is absolutely no help at all. My ds enjoys preschool so much & looks forward to the days he goes. Well last week my mom calls & says she is going to my sisters house & is not sure when she will be back. My sister lives almost 3 hours away. My sisters kids say they miss her. Uh, ok. Preschool pictures where on the day she was supposed to take ds to preschool so I took the whole day off to take him. It is no exaggeration whatsoever that even though they live over 3 hours away, my parents spend more time with my sisters kids than mine & we are only 20 minutes away. My mom & dad have yet to watch my older ds play soccer or teeball. Yet my dad is willing to take 2 days off of work to watch my nephew ride his motorcycle. I just feel bad for my kids b/c my grandmother showed my older sister preferential treatment, well actually she still does. It hurt my feelings when I was young & I dont want my kids to think they are less important than their cousins. I just hate that I feel like I cant depend on my mom. If she was not certain that she would help me out then she should not have agreed to it. Sure, my kids are my responsibility but it just seems like she should enjoy spending a little time with the boys. I know this is rambling ....

[AngelaS]

At least she's ditching all your kids in favor of your sister's. My MIL spent $200 on one of my dd's birthday's this year and totally missed the other one's birthday......

I feel your pain.....

[kijip]

That is really terrible. I am sorry. I have a relative that favored my brother over me and another that always tried to lavish my younger brother and I with gifts, totally excluding my older brother. It makes no sense. And it totally sucks that she would dodge out of an agreed thing to help you out. You would think that since you are single, she would try and lend a helping hand.

[deenass]

I'm guessing my sister could have written your post. We live 5 mins from my parents and they spend a TON of time with him. My sister is 5 hours away and is convinced that she gets the short end of the stick. Last time my parents were at her house she forbid them from mentioning my son's name!

I'm sure it's very difficult for you especially feeling like you can't depend on your mom. I'm guessing that your kids don't quite "get it yet" but maybe you could talk to your parents about it? Maybe they feel that because they live near you, things like soccer games aren't as important (and we both know they are, just trying to get in their heads).

Hoping that xhusband's parents pick up some slcak in the gp department!

[SpaceGal]

I can relate too. My in-laws love that "out of sight out of mind" saying...and hence we live up north it's easy to forget our DS. They never send him anything or get him anything. And when he was born he only deserved his cousins handmedowns. I was seriously annoyed. Oh well...what can you do...you just expect better from them.

[pixiepoo]

Wow that is sad. That would be so upsetting. That reminds me of the guy I dated in Highs Schools family. The grandmother spent like $500 on each of his sisters for Christmas. She gave him one of those duffles you get as a free gift with a colgne purchase. (and no he didnt even get the cologne)

[pixiepoo]

Thats what burns me, she agreed to help out one measley day out of the week & I cant even depend on that.

[pixiepoo]

You are right, the boys dont really "get it" yet. But eventually they will. I have said things to them in passing, but never really had a heart to heart about it. The thing is, they know they are doing it, they don't even try to deny it. It just hurts my feelings for the boys. When I go to soccer games, I see other grandparents there for their grandkids every game & my parents didnt even come for one measly game.

[DrSally]

Delete

[DrSally]

Delete

[AngelaS]

A bit of an update....MIL called today to say she's getting a gift. She's just been busy..... whew.

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry.

[pixiepoo]

My sister & I are not on the best of terms partly because she encourages the preferential treatment of her kids. Like for example, she needs my parents to come help her do something the same weekend of my childs birthday party. Or the biggie now, my parents & I went in together to purchase a motorcycle for my nephew about 4 years ago. This was with the understanding that when he outgrew it it would pass on to my son. My sister paid NOTHING. She had been promising to purchase him one but did not. My nephew has now outgrown that bike and has a new bike. They were supposed to bring it back to my house about a month ago when they returned from visiting her. But b/c he cried about them bringing it to my son they left it instead of bringing it back to my house. He cant even ride the damn thing! Its like an elephant on a bicycle.
I have been doing things to my house with the intentions in moving within the next year. I want to be closer to work & have the kids near me during the day. And be less dependent on others.
Thanks for your thoughst!