Full of bitches today

[Radosti]

OK, I realize I am borderline depressive right now. It just seems like everything is falling apart.

- I took in a stray cat that someone found and the cat was very sweet. I got it tested and vaccinated. Then, it bit the neighbor's kid (our daily dog walker) twice. I adopted it out to an older lady thinking that it was only kids this cat didn't like. Well, the lady brought it back because it bit her too. So, tomorrow I have to get it put to sleep. First time in my rescue experience that I've ever had to put an animal down due to temperament issues. So... that sucks... plus, I'm out almost $200 on this cat and no happy ending for it.

- My one dog is not housebroken. But she was good for a while. Now, she's peeing and pooping on the hardwood floor so much, it is becoming swollen and beginning to warp. So, starting tomorrow, the dogs are getting crated during the day.

- My milk supply is going down. I put two new membranes in the pump parts tonight... we'll see if it makes a difference tomorrow.

- I am starting a flow cytometry class tomorrow night. It will be the first time that I'm not going to be there to pick up the baby from daycare. And there will be nine classes, so nine weeks' worth of this. A break for thanksgiving and christmas weeks.

- A yellow lab showed up on my lawn yesterday and it took me 2.5 hours of phone calls to verify that no one has reported it lost and to have the SPCA come get it. A part of me feels that I should have kept him here until the owners were found or he was adopted out. I just don't have any energy left.

- I don't get enough sleep... yet, it's 11:10pm and I'm on the computer.

[Emmas Mom]

{{{HUGS}}} You're going through so much right now. Have you talked to your doctor at all? I actually got some Ambien CR because I just can't seem to shut my brain off at night sometimes. I don't take it all the time but once in awhile it's nice. And I can still wake up when Gracie gets up (2, 3 or 4+ times a night). sigh Granted I'm not nursing anymore & don't know if you can take it while nursing but it can't hurt to ask. Seriously girlie...you're taking on too much. Being back at work full time, nursing at night, pumping on your breaks/lunch, animal rescue. That's quite a handful. One of my closest friends is kind of like you & I'll tell you the same thing I told her....you're not doing anyone any good if you're not taking care of yourself. So, take care of you first. Is there anything you can cut out? At least temporarily? Hang in there & whenever you're feeling stressed go & smell Aaron's sweet breath or kiss his soft cheeks (that always makes me feel better!). {{{HUGS}}}

[pb&j]

Hugs to you.

Please call your doctor and make an appointment to be screened for depression. Like the PP said, you can't take care of others until you take care of yourself. You don't need to suffer like this.

ETA: Does your employer have an EAP? That's a good place to start for resources and referrals.


-Ry,
mom to Emma, stillborn 11/04/04
and Max, 01/05/06

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[JMS]

I don't know what to say Rada.. it all sucks. But, big hugs to you and hang in there, you're a great mom and also a great animal-rescue lady (can't think of another term for it), and I really admire both :)

[Nicsmom]

Oh Rada...big big hugs to you. I am very sorry you are feeling this way. Maybe it all has to do with sleep deprivation. It is amazing how damaging it can be (physically and emotionally). So try to get some sleep and the world will look MUCH better.

[dules]

No advice but {{hugs}} I hope things improve for you very soon.

Mary

[Radosti]

Thanks everyone. This week is just going down the tubes...

- A different rescue contacted me to let me know the SPCA tracked down the yellow lab's owners, his name is Zook and he's 8 years old... and they don't want him back. The cowardly ba$tards must have dumped him at my house because they knew I ran a rescue. Unfortunately, I am having a melt down right now and they failed to let me know they were dumping him. Ya know, because doing it the right way (contacting rescues and asking them to take the dog) is just too darn inconvenient.

- The vet wouldn't euthanize the cat because I have to quarantine him for 10 days after a bite. He's going to the SPCA tomorrow and they can quarantine him there. I can't take this... I discovered fresh bite marks on my Emma kitty. He bit Emma!!! No-one bites Emma. Everyone here (people, dogs, cats), treat her as the baby of the family. She's coddled and loved by all. And this cat bit her??? On the head no less.

- DS learned to sit up in bed and does so by backing up while on his tummy. He almost backed off the bed last night (over the pillows). So, I had DH lower the crib mattress today and put DS in the crib. I was going to start sleep training. It started out well, he'd cry, I'd comfort... and so on. Then he started crying so hard that no amt of comforting would calm him down. He ended up throwing up and I had to go give him another bath at 9pm. He didn't go to bed until 9:20pm and is right back in our bed, surrounded by pillows.

I am apparently a complete failure all around... I really do need to call my doctor. I took anti-depressants before though and I HATED how they made my brain into a cotton ball and I gained 30 pounds on them. I got more depressed over the way I looked and felt...

[Emmas Mom]

Please call your doctor. You can get through this. We're women, we're Mommies...we do it all. Seriously though, see about getting a different anti depressant. Try a lower dose. There's so many available now there's got to be one that can help. Hang in there.

[bubbaray]

I don't know where you live, but most states/regions/provinces have pretty active lab rescues. I know we have one in my province, I used to help out with it. I can't believe people do that to dogs.... GGRRRRRR!

I can't help with the cat, but it sounds like it was a good idea to get it out of your house!

Your DS will get used to the crib. It might take awhile if you've been cosleeping, but you'll both get through it. If you really don't want to use the crib, you could put your own mattress on the floor for the time being, so he won't get hurt if he does fall off of it.

You are NOT a complete failure! Your a mom. We all have our moments, some of them lasting for days/weeks/months. You'll find a way to get through this!!!!

Hugs!
Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

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