Very sad tonight...Sensitive topic

[crAbbymom]

I was just reading a post in the lounge about The Today Show and being angry all the time. I was very interested, because I always suspected that my anger may be a symptom of depression. A few of the suggestions mentioned different anti-depressants, one in specific- Lexapro. Seeing that med name hit me really hard. My 18 year old niece was having depression/anger issues and was prescribed Lexapro by her family doctor. She committed suicide 2 weeks ago. Apparently, that medication is not appropriate for adolescents, because it increases the risk of suicide. My niece did not want to die. She was planning to get married in February. This medication didn't help her, it killed her. I realize that different meds work for different people, so please, no flames. I am just so sad. My 6 yo won't talk about it at all and my 4 yo just says she misses K- and asks if I miss her, too. Our whole family is hurting so bad right now.

[buddyleebaby]

I'm very sorry for your loss.
It is hard when someone dies before their time, especially at their own hand.
Just yesterday a friend of my dh's committed suicide at work. The manner in which he did it makes his family certain that it was intended to be a cry for help. Unfortunately no one found him for hours and it was too late.
Of course we had no way of knowing, but I still feel as if we SHOULD have been able to see it, we should have been able to stop it.

I hope your family finds peace one day soon.

[Alice523]

What a terrible loss of a bright future. A childhood friend of mine committed suicide at 19 and I've wondered if her antidepressants had anything to do with it. Suicide is just so tragic. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Jenn98]

I have nothing but ((((((HUGS))))))))) for you. Suicide seems so senseless and so very painful. I wish your family had a better outcome than it did. I am so sorry for you. Prayers and positive thoughts to you and your family.

[cmdunn1972]

(((((HUGS))))) to you for your loss.

Suicide is so hard to deal with because you can never answer all the "whys". We lost DH's brother to suicide in August of last year, and the loss was tough on all of us.

Through my own experience, I found some resources that you might find helpful. I know I did. The first is "No Time to Say Goodbye" by Carla Fine. (The author lost her DH to suicide.) The second is an online support group, http://www.healingafterloss.org .

I know that none of these will get your neice back, but I HTH you deal with your loss.

[tarynsmum]

I understand your feelings, but I also want to add a little information: many anti depressants, not just Lexapro, have side effects that can include increased suicidal feelings, etc (especially in teenagers). This isn't to say that all teenagers that take Lexapro or any other anti-depressant will experience this particular side effect, but it is there. Depression is one of those things that is very difficult to treat, as most of you know. What works great for some people can have the opposite effect for many, sadly.

I took Lexapro for some time, as well as a similar medication that was a precursor to Lexapro (I know it started with an S, but I can't think of the name, it was years ago, I apologize), starting in high school.

I am truly, truly sorry for your loss. There are no flames here, I just don't want someone with a teenager who may have issues to balk at getting them help.

We will be praying for your family.

ETA: just remembered: Selexa (I'm not sure if it's still available or not, but I wanted to post the name if anyone was interested, which I doubt)

[crAbbymom]

Thank you everyone for your kind words...I really had no intention of ever posting about this, but just felt overwhelmed last night. I stayed up reading a novel until 4am to distract myself, but ended up in tears again when I went to bed. Fortunately, DH woke up and told me a funny/weird dream. I was finally able to calm down and sleep. Thankfully, my girls chose today to sleep in!

Again, I really appreciate the hugs... I felt a little better just getting it out, but your responses made me feel better today.

I realize that medication can be beneficial for some people. I have a sister who is bipolar and I wish she had been diagnosed when she was a teen. She is one that NEEDS her meds, but won't take them.

I just wish we hadn't trusted the doctor blindly and had done research before this happened. I think there were probably other treatments that would have been a better choice for her. She truly wasn't suicidal before this. She was having issues with anger and moodiness. She recognised that she wasn't happy with her behavior and took steps to help herself.

Anyway, thank you again, I truly do feel better today. Everyday life with children IS a great distraction!

[Melanie]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[StantonHyde]

This is a horrible loss for you. If you are interested, hospitals, mental health groups, etc. run grief groups for people who have lost loved ones to suicide. I think it is huge help to talk with people who have BTDT.

I am a big advocate of meds--long family history of depression and I work at a psych hospital where we save so many people who would otherwise kill themselves. BUT not all MDs are great about prescribing meds for adolescents--it's all off label so you need someone with tons of experience. Your experience is a good warning about trusting your gut etc.

On the flip side, adolescents can be soooo impulsive. The sad, sad fact of the matter is that there is no 100% guaranteed method to predict who will commit suicide. We have people leave who seem fine by every indication and they still kill themselves.

Some day, we will have a better understanding of the brain. Right now we are so limited--think of all those kids with polio in iron lungs or babies who died of various diseases before we developed ways to combat those.

My mom died very suddenly this summer, so I understand the overwhelming nature of grief. And yes, thank God, for small children who keep you distracted. It's ok to be overwhelmed from time to time. And reading is a great coping mechanism--I do really well if I keep reading. I am thinking of going to a grief group, though I have several people at work who have been through this. And I have a great therapist who is really helping me navigate this process.

Hugs to you.

[TraciG]

I am so sorry, that is such a tragedy .

[candybomiller]

As the person who probably mentioned Lexapro, I'm very sorry that triggered grief for you. I understand what you are going through, believe me. I myself have attempted suicide and it's only through the use of drugs that I'm even slightly sane.

(((((HUGS))))) to you.

[cmdunn1972]

>As the person who probably mentioned Lexapro, I'm very sorry
>that triggered grief for you. I understand what you are going
>through, believe me. I myself have attempted suicide and it's
>only through the use of drugs that I'm even slightly sane.
>
>(((((HUGS))))) to you.

Cnady, it makes me really sad to hear that. I can't imagine if your attempt had been "successful". (I put that word in quotes since a suicide attempt that results in death makes the survivors feel like failures.) This board just wouldn't be the same without you!

I hope that neither you (nor anyone else here) gets so close to that dark place without seeking professional help. Suicide is just so hard on the survivors!

[candybomiller]

Thanks Colleen. When I did it, I didn't want to die. I just didn't know how to keep on living. It was a horribly sad, confusing time in my life.

The second time I thought about suicide, I knew enough to check myself into a mental hospital immediately. That was about 6 months after my mom was killed.

If anyone is even thinking along these lines, please, please, please talk to someone. If you feel like you don't have anyone to talk to, please pm or email me. I know how easy it is to put on a great facade for the rest of the world and just feel miserable inside.

[cmdunn1972]

Speaking from a suicide survivor's POV, I would rather my BIL (DH's brother) had asked for help and lived. Instead, we're all left with asking "why?", a question which will never be fully answered.

[lizajane]

i am so so very sorry for your loss. my cousin took her life at 22. i understand.

i take lexapro. it works great for me. however, it says on the packaging that it is not intended for teens. i am glad you were able to share to give this knowledge to others.

[aliceinwonderland]

I am so sorry. We are going through a very similar situation in my family right now, and I am overwhelmed by the thought that the correct medication would have made a difference in what is an absolute nightmare, especially for the parents and sibling of that poor soul :(