Another irriated with DH

[momofmany]

I need some insight (I'm a lurker but rarely post). My DH is returning from a 10 day trip to Asia tomorrow morning. He traveled to visit his ailing father (age 87 and is is decline of mental health). The trip, while unexpected, was booked about 1 month ago and is his second to see his father this year. i understand his need to go and support him.

However, my issue that in the 10 days he was gone, he didn't call - not even once! He e-mailed me a twice and I responded to both, but he couldn't be bothered to call. I'm feeling irritated and hurt. I know he'll say "it's expensive to call" - .20 cents/minutes - roughly the same as a cup of coffee for a short call. Unbelieveable.

I could have called him - however it's a bit complicated and I never know if the person answering will speak English. It's very easy for him to call - he has a cell phone as do all the relatives he's visiting and his father has a land line.

I am totally able to parent our family on my own, however with four dc, a part time business of my own, and a busy volunteer schedule this trip has taken alot out of me. All I needed was one call - my children would have liked to talk to him too.

Ok - I feel better. I also just booked a trip to Mexico with my sisters in Feb. I don't think I'll call home then either.

Thanks for the space to get this off my chest.

[buddyleebaby]

Big hugs!!!! Whenever dh and I have had to be apart we have spoken once a day, even if only for a minute...after ten days I would feel so lonely.

[deenass]

Well, this would be completely unacceptable to me with my husband but growing up, whenever my dad would go on a business trip he was "allowed" one phone call home (that the compnay would pay for)(this was pre-cell phones, etc.) and he would only call that once. My mom put up with it ...

[Wife_and_mommy]

NAK

does he know how imp. it is to you? i don't call home when i go out. granted it's only a few hrs but it's really imp. to dh that i do so i now make sure i do. i really didn't get it. myabe your dh doesn't either.



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[annasmom]

nak

i am sorry! big (((hugs)))! i think you should talk to your dh and explain to him how important it is for you to hear his voice. when my dh went overseas (also asia), i insisted that he call once a day (if he could). when he didn't i felt so panicked. i understand it isn't always so easy with the huge time diference and travel, etc.

[matthewsmom]

Big <HUGS> to you. I know that whenever my husband is away on a business trip, even if it is a couple of days we talk at least 2-3 times. I would be really mad if it were me.

[boogiemom]

Wow. I would be upset too. My DH travels frequently and all over the world for business. He calls home atleast once every day. He always takes time to talk to our kids on the phone each day, even if it's only for a quick minute. I know how difficult it is to deal with everything yourself and have no break. It's very draining. And I only have two kids! You're my new hero. :)

Hope things settle down for you soon.

[luvmypeanut]

My DH doesn't always call either. And when he did, it was when he was about to go to sleep or board a plane or meet someone and it was a 30 sec rundown of what a great trip he was having. This pissed me off and I was left feeling like he shouldn't have called at all if he couldn't have a normal conversation with me. I felt hurt because it seemed like we were an afterthought. And before we had kids we talked all the time, even several times a day, when we were apart.

I don't have any advice for you but to talk to him about it. If he's like my DH, it wouldn't occur to him that not calling would affect you so much.