oliviasmomma
11-24-2006, 01:19 PM
I have been on the bitching post for too long, but DH is tired of hearing about this, so...
My SIL has had a longstanding issue with me--as the eldest girl and the only one in the state, she acts like every family gathering is a competition of sorts. She is in her mid=40's, never married, no kids, and yet she's always talked about wanting both. She is a "serial relationship" type person, and always ends the relationships for bizarre reasons. (Ex--she went out with someone for three years. In that time, he took out a wall in her house, installed wood flooring, rebricked her fireplace, built a deck, installed a hot tub, etc. She broke up with him because he wouldn't buy her flowers.) DH is her baby brother (6 kids), we're married with a tot, so of course, there is already tension. In addition, anytime I bring food to family gatherings, she either refuses to serve it (yes, really, she acts like she forgot about it-every time) or makes snide comments. Things like, "Oh, that's just like Diane," when I dared to bring macaroni salad. Another time we invited her and BIL over for dinner. She left a message that said, "Smiths (not our real name) should plan Smith parties,"--in other words, I am not really a member of the family. After the many episodes this last year, I decided that I will no longer cook for DH family functions--DH can either make something or we'll chip in $$, but no more cooking for me--it isn't worth it and if it is that big of a deal to SIL, then I really don't have to.
Saturday is supposed to be the "Smith" thanksgiving and two weeks ago SIL emailed and asked what we want to bring. I talked to DH who said he would make green bean casserole and I emailed this to SIL. On three separate occasions, she's emailed again to ask what we're bringing--she "forgot" every time--once, our neice responded even. Then, Wednesday night she called and asked AGAIN--and went on to say that well, she'd already bought everything for green beans and we need to bring something else. WTFWTFWTFWTF????
The reason we picked green beans is because it is about the least threatening dish--open five cans, dump and stir. I get that she feels inadequate, I get that she feels threatened, but you know...I get it, I am not welcome, fine. DH is such a non-arguer that he doesn't say anything, and really thinks I should just let it go. I really don't care about the food, I just don't understand people who go out of their way to be as mean as possible. If our neice wasn't going, I wouldn't be there, but I want to see her and her daughter. Other than that, I really don't care if the entire Smith family is rounded up and shipped off to sea.
ETA:When DH and I got serious, I was so excited because he has three sisters--only one in state though. My sister died when we were kids, and I've always wanted a big family. SIL has no idea what it is like to be alone, instead she treats everyone like carp and acts like people are just awful to her.
My SIL has had a longstanding issue with me--as the eldest girl and the only one in the state, she acts like every family gathering is a competition of sorts. She is in her mid=40's, never married, no kids, and yet she's always talked about wanting both. She is a "serial relationship" type person, and always ends the relationships for bizarre reasons. (Ex--she went out with someone for three years. In that time, he took out a wall in her house, installed wood flooring, rebricked her fireplace, built a deck, installed a hot tub, etc. She broke up with him because he wouldn't buy her flowers.) DH is her baby brother (6 kids), we're married with a tot, so of course, there is already tension. In addition, anytime I bring food to family gatherings, she either refuses to serve it (yes, really, she acts like she forgot about it-every time) or makes snide comments. Things like, "Oh, that's just like Diane," when I dared to bring macaroni salad. Another time we invited her and BIL over for dinner. She left a message that said, "Smiths (not our real name) should plan Smith parties,"--in other words, I am not really a member of the family. After the many episodes this last year, I decided that I will no longer cook for DH family functions--DH can either make something or we'll chip in $$, but no more cooking for me--it isn't worth it and if it is that big of a deal to SIL, then I really don't have to.
Saturday is supposed to be the "Smith" thanksgiving and two weeks ago SIL emailed and asked what we want to bring. I talked to DH who said he would make green bean casserole and I emailed this to SIL. On three separate occasions, she's emailed again to ask what we're bringing--she "forgot" every time--once, our neice responded even. Then, Wednesday night she called and asked AGAIN--and went on to say that well, she'd already bought everything for green beans and we need to bring something else. WTFWTFWTFWTF????
The reason we picked green beans is because it is about the least threatening dish--open five cans, dump and stir. I get that she feels inadequate, I get that she feels threatened, but you know...I get it, I am not welcome, fine. DH is such a non-arguer that he doesn't say anything, and really thinks I should just let it go. I really don't care about the food, I just don't understand people who go out of their way to be as mean as possible. If our neice wasn't going, I wouldn't be there, but I want to see her and her daughter. Other than that, I really don't care if the entire Smith family is rounded up and shipped off to sea.
ETA:When DH and I got serious, I was so excited because he has three sisters--only one in state though. My sister died when we were kids, and I've always wanted a big family. SIL has no idea what it is like to be alone, instead she treats everyone like carp and acts like people are just awful to her.