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View Full Version : UPDATED: DH: Okay so I F'd up, do you have to make me feel like a walking pile of crap



SpaceGal
11-28-2006, 12:16 AM
Ugh, after a long Thanksgiving break with DH's family we're back home.

Today I guess he decides to do office work and his let's check up on the wife and make sure she takes care of her things.

So apparently on Nov 14, I paid our Macy's bill for a couch we bought in March. I guess Macy's automatically defers billing for furniture purchases with a new card. Well I paid the bill, but today find out that I wrote the check for 30 cents less than the amount I should have. So I admit yeah I F'd up, my pregnant brain or what not I don't know now but clearly I wrote the check for 30 cents less. I even took the payment to the register and paid it at the store with DH by my side and we stated to the cashier we'd like to pay the whole thing. So fine she didn't even see my mistake.

Anywho, here it is 11pm and you know that store credit card people don't answer phone after business hours. He's breathing down my neck saying how can I be so stupid to write the check wrong. I said I don't know...but dude it happened and I F'd up. The only logical reason I figured is that the total bill due was $xxx.62 but the minimum payment was $32.00. So I think my distorted pregnant brain probably messed up there and shorted Macy's 30 cents.

I tell him I will call first thing tomorrow, I tried tonight no agents available. but oddly, the computer said there's a 30 cents credit but a 30 cents bill due for our next payment. Weird right. So I wonder if the cashier I paid punched it in wrong too...who knows. Of course I cleared my wallet out of the pile of receipts I had before our trip to Florida so I can't check it, but nonetheless I will check it when he's sleeping and not being a total ass.

I tell him I really doubt they will charge a finance charge of some ridiculous amount when it's only 30 cents. Do you have to act like I made some $30,000 mistake? Ugh I hate it when he has to be this self righteous I have to do everything myself guy when I goof. He goes on to say if they bill us for more than 30 cents you won't hear the end of it and I know he's a jerk when it comes to things like that so I know better but UGH do you have to be such a jerk.

So annoying...I mean fine I goofed up and I will do what I can to fix it. He claims that the store will not care that I goofed up 30 cents and yeah if he was being nice I could see his point but hell no he doesn't cut me no slack it's purely that I F'd up and now he claims has to be in charge of all finances because I'm an idiot.

I hate it when he does that. So I never catch it when he's wrong...oh well so he freakin' perfect. UGH I hate it when he acts this way I feel like taking DS and bundling him up and going outside and camping out in fron tof Macy's to pay this stupid 30 cents the minute they open and talking to the freakin' agent to make sure 100% that we don't owe any thing outside of that 30 cents. DH also claims that because the billing was defered because we didn't pay it all they have the right to charge us finances charges on the whole amount because we didn't pay the entire amount...regardless of 30 cents, 30 dollars or 3000 dollars. I see his reasoning but I don't think that's how it works. UGH!!!

SO frustrating.

Anyways, thank you for letting me vent. I needed that.

UPDATE:
So DH apologized last night for yelling and honestly he's normally a very pleasant easy going guy but his temper can get the best of him which has been his weak point. Granted I know it hurts to hear and yeah I don't necessarily like it but every so often it would be nice if he wouldn't get all wound up. Either way, I did go tot Macy's and paid the 30 cents and called and asked about finance charges, which is what I was worried about with Christmas upon us. Seems like they are excusing the 30 cents so hopefully it's all good now. I'll give them a ring later and check again just to make sure.

Thank you all though for hearing me out.

buddyleebaby
11-28-2006, 12:38 AM
Sorry your dh is being a jerk. It was obviously an honest mistake.
Hope it all works out.
(HUGS)

s7714
11-28-2006, 12:40 AM
Sorry your DH is being such a jerk about it. My last financing mistake was forgetting to pay our property taxes on time. That ended up costing us an additional couple hundred dollars! :(

Is there any way you can verify the amount the check was written for online or through your bank's automated customer service line? That might be a easy way to start figuring out if it was actually your error or someone else's, since you can't locate the receipt.

Jennifer
Mommy to
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Calling fellow BBB SoCal moms...we'd love to meet you!
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SpaceGal
11-28-2006, 12:53 AM
Oh DH already checked my side, and I F'd up...I know I did...our bank has an online PDF file of every check we send out and he pulled it up with a big $xxx.32 rather than the $xxx.62 it should have been.

I know I messed up and it's not like I'm proud of it. But oh well I will try to fix it. I'm not perfect like he is. It's times like these that I feel bad about having children with a perfectionist type father. I already can see him making a kid feel bad for not doing right and getting top honors or what not. That's what ultimately I'm annoyed with. Fine he can be all jerky and high and mighty godlike with me...I just need to vent and get it out of my system...but man when I look at DS sleeping peacefully I just feel bad for what he is in for.

Oh well...I did cool down a bit, I went and got my car ready for our lovely trip to Macy's in the morning. I had to move the car seat from DH car and clear my car out since I had just taken it to the shop for snow tires to be put on. Stroller in the car, car seat all set, diaper bag packed. Now I just have to program my cell phone (since prior to all this happening I was ready to get aquainted with my new phone that I just got today and need to transfer numbers). I did think about going and sleeping in the guest room because I seriously don't feel like seeing him right now but I'm not quite that annoyed with him. I figure I'll just get up early and have DS in tow with our checkbook, my trusty 30 cents and cell phone ready to talk to these Macy's people. Hopefully it all pans out okay and I pay and I can leave and that's the end of it. I don't plan to speak to DH until it's cleared up because I know it will just get ugly and I really am too tired to hear about it.

Thank you again for letting me vent I needed it bad. Especially at this hour it's nice to have a virtual place to go and get it out without having to leave the house or get on the phone. :)

Wife_and_mommy
11-28-2006, 08:15 AM
If your billing was deferred and you didn't pay it in full by the due date then, yes, you will have to pay the finance charges. It's a mistake though. We all make them.

Hugs to you.



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jgriffin
11-28-2006, 09:18 AM
But, if you've been paying on this card regularly, the credit department might waive the finance charges this time. Especially since it was only a 30c mistake. You could always threaten to cancel the card if they don't (but I'd start out by being super nice on the phone, and explain that even the cashier didn't catch the mistake).

Sillygirl
11-28-2006, 09:42 AM
I agree - it's a reasonable thing to ask for. They have a choice to grab your money on a technicality. If you use the card frequently and buy big-ticket items they may decide it's worth letting this go in order to keep your business.

In any case, your DH's response to the situation sounds unproductive, and it sounds like this is not an isolated problem. Have you thought about marital counselling? Even if he's not willing to go you may find it helpful to address your concerns about how he treats you and how this might affect your children growing up.

deborah_r
11-28-2006, 10:02 AM
He's
>breathing down my neck saying how can I be so stupid to write
>the check wrong.

now he claims has to be in charge of all
>finances because I'm an idiot.
>


Did he really say "how can you be so stupid?" and that he needs to take care of the finances because "you're an idiot"? Or are you just telling us that is what you are hearing from what he is saying? If he really called you stupid and an idiot, that is really bad. Writing one number wrong is one thing, but calling your partner in life stupid is way worse. :(

Sorry you are going through this. FWIW, it seems likely to me that they would just see that balance sitting out there and reverse it if it's less than a dollar. Maybe not, but it could happen.

DrSally
11-28-2006, 11:10 AM
Accidents happen. Sounds like DH way overreacted and made things worse by being mean to you. Yes, they technically could charge you finance charges b/c you technically didn't pay the whole thing, and that would really su#k. But, I feel there is reason for hope.
#1 I wonder if the cashier or billing dept caught your mistake and entered the payment for the full amount, by giving you a credit of 30 cents, as a courtesy KWIM? Then, charged you 30 cents so you could pay it back, but it wouldn't be that you didn't pay the whole thing when it was due??

#2 You can call and explain it to CS and I think there's a good chance they will be lenient, esp. if they want to keep you as a Macy's shopper. Department stores haven't been doing too well these past years. You can even explain how you told the cashier you wanted to pay the whole thing off.

If all else fails, and they are stinkers and charge you the finance charges, well, things happen. Like when someone gets a speeding ticket and that's money down the drain. It's not worth berating and belittling your spouse about it, it's not going to change what happened. I hope your DH realizes that. Good luck!

Laurel
11-28-2006, 11:50 AM
Did he actually say you were stupid/an idiot? That worries me that he's the one with a more serious problem that needs to be addressed. I agree with you that this would be a potential issue to work on in regards to kids. Good for you for being aware of that now.

Anyway, if he's so perfect, how come he didn't catch the error as he stood next to you while you wrote the check? Sounds like maybe it was a mistake on both your parts, along with Macy's.

I think the fact that an actual person processd the check in front of you and didn't catch the error on the spot will work in your favor here. Good luck with Macy's!

momma_boo
11-28-2006, 11:54 AM
I'm sorry. That must be so frustrating. You made an honest mistake (as did the cashier who took the payment).

A few years ago, I forgot to apply for a home tax rebate and missed out on the couple hundred dollars we could have gotten back. We all make mistakes.

So stop saying you f'ed up. It was just a tiny error.

kijip
11-28-2006, 04:27 PM
I agree here as well. Federated's credit department has always been decent IME. They are not going to lose a big-ticket customer over a 100 or so dollar finance charge.

Calling you an idiot or stupid or threatening to take total control of the finances over a simple error is worrisome. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Everyone, even your husband, makes mistakes. I call yelling at a pregnant wife a mistake. He needs to calm down.

crayonblue
11-28-2006, 05:06 PM
Tell your husband it could be worse. I forgot that when we put a contract on our house that I went ahead and paid a very large portion of our downpayment (at the time, our area was highly competitive and we had been outbid so we were advised that this might help, which it did). Then, the week before we were to close on the house, I checked our bank account balance and was shocked to discover we didn't have anywhere near what we needed for our downpayment. I totally forgot we had already paid most of the downpayment. I was completely floored as to how we had "lost" so much money. We called my in-laws who had just sold their home and asked if their was anyway we could borrow the money because we had made a terrible mistake. MIL took the next day off from work to drive to a nearby town to wire the money to us.

A couple of days later, I lightbulb went off and I remembered and checked the checkbook and saw the check. I felt terribly as my MIL had gone to so much trouble. But, I was VERY happy to realize that our finances weren't quite as screwed up as I thought. The only thing I can figure out is that I was sleep-deprived with a baby.

Vent away, I don't see any reason why your husband is so upset with you.

ChunkyNicksChunkyMom
11-28-2006, 05:16 PM
OMG Lana you win! Wow, you must have been so stressed!
Susan

#1 Nick 11-18-04
#2 Kate 04-26-06

psophia17
11-28-2006, 05:25 PM
Phew!

My DH loves when he can hold something stupid over my head, too...he doesn't get the chance often, but boy does it tick me off when he does...

Good for Macys for excusing the 30 cent error - I'm not surprised at all.

KBecks
11-30-2006, 10:52 PM
I think unless he's incredibly irresponsible with money and can't be trusted.... you should put him in charge of the finances from now on, hire a sitter and go get massages while he takes care of the bills. :)