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buddyleebaby
11-29-2006, 06:22 PM
So dh got a promotion. Hooray, good news, but...
his promotion means he moves to a new job title, thereby losing all seniority he had, and making him the first one up to be mandated to work a double.
his promotion moves him to a new location, which happens to be one of the most dangerous in the city, and a two hour commute.
his promotion, thanks to the latest collective bargaining agreement means him taking a pay CUT for the first year.
So he is gone for twenty hours at a time, home for four (the only time he has to sleep), and then he is back at work again.
he is exhausted, he misses the babies. i sm exhausted. i actually put onr of Abigail's diapers on Evelyn today and didn't even notice until ten minutes later. they do not sleep at the same time. i swear they are a tag team, as soon as one goes down the other gets up. when one is happy the other starts to cry. and since he is working i have no break. i have to be up with one or both of them so he can sleep, whether I have been up all night or not. and they won't nap together. today they won't even nap. I'm here nursing evelyn and letting Abigail throw sheets of newspaper up in the air because at least she's happy and my house is a big mess anyway since i barely have time to pee let alone clean. and it's not like she's misbehaving. she is being her sweet self but we have read books, colored, danced, built, sorted, peek a booed, tickled, and i am just plain worn out. i should be making dinner now but i am seriously contemplating just having cheese sandwiches.
if only they would sleep for half an hour!
and this is not at all related but there was a police shooting in the city a few days ago. a group of cops fired 50 shots at a car, killing one and wounding two others. no one knows why. it's under investigation.
so Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are on tv with the family and a local councilman. And the councilman says " it's time for us to start showing the cops we know how to shoot guns too" (or something very close to that, and he was not speaking in metaphors). WTF? and no one even blinked an eye. people are ****ing applauding like that is a reasonable thing to say. that is disgusting! I'm glad the family has people supporting them and bringing attention to what happened but OMG telling people to go around shooting random cops? this is before anyone even knows what happened, not that it would EVER be an appropriate thing to say.
it pisses me off tha he said that and everyone is ok with it. I would have like Jesse Jackson at least to have called him on it.
now i really do have to go make those sandwiches.

psophia17
11-29-2006, 08:00 PM
Hugs Alicia!

Home safe & sound vibes to your DH, and sleep vibes to your babies, and relaxation vibes to you!!!

overcome
11-29-2006, 08:24 PM
Alicia...I would be OUT OF MY MIND if I had two babies that wouldn't sleep. I am out of my mind with one when she won't sleep.

It CANNOT last forever. Take one day at a time...

I find if I get out, even just for a stroller ride in my sweat pants w/o a shower, it helps a lot. It helps the time go by a little faster too.

I love cheese sandwiches, and I'm sure your family will enjoy them.

As far as your husband's work schedule...big hugs. Hang in there!!! Call someone to come over for an hour so you can nap. I wish I had done that more often when Mia wasn't sleeping. People want to help but I always felt like *I* had to be the one to change her diaper, etc.

Feel better and BIG HUGS

saschalicks
11-29-2006, 08:35 PM
All I can say is I'm so sorry!

bubbaray
11-29-2006, 08:41 PM
Cheese sandwiches are just fine for dinner. Really.

Hugs do you. I live in fear every day that I will have 2 that don't sleep. One that d/n sleep is enough for me.

No advice on your DH's job situation, but it sounds like it sucks all around. Ugh. As for the shooting thing, that is just mental.

Is there a MDO program you could join? How about resources for other police families??? Maybe your DH's union could help with some resources???

Hope you get a break soon.
Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

http://bd.lilypie.com/SasRm7.png

kijip
11-29-2006, 08:45 PM
Nothing but good thoughts here. I hope your DH is safe and sound and that the job settles down. 4 hours of commuting each day hardely seems worth it. Hopefully this leads to a better promotion later on, right? Still bad time for you and the little ones. Lots of hugs.

blueeyedb
11-29-2006, 08:53 PM
OMG, you are my hero for the day. I have one DS and a husband who never works more than 40 hours a week and I still have cheese sandwich days. I would be falling apart if I had to take care of 2 DCs by myself while worrying about DH's safety. Sending you and your DH good vibes for an improved situation soon.

dules
11-29-2006, 09:36 PM
Oh, wow. You have a lot on your plate. As the PP said, I lose it when my one won't sleep. Can't imagine with two. Would they sleep in the stroller or in the car? You'd be amazed how many things you can find that have drive through windows if you try ;). Bring a good book or when the girls finally fall asleep, recline your seat and take a little rest too.

I am guessing you are in NYC? The news on the shooting this week is so garbled and sensationalized, with everyone jumping in, it's a wreck. I feel terrible for everyone involved and impacted by it.

Oh, and we swear by cheese sandwiches here. Shhh, but when DH is out in the evenings sometimes DD and I have "picnics" of cheese sandwiches, steamed veggies and water. We sit on a blanket in the living room and watch a video. ;)

Good luck!


Mary

buddyleebaby
11-30-2006, 01:42 PM
I just wanted to thank you all for the support and for reading my rather rambling post.
To clarify, dh is not a cop. He is a haz-mat medic. He wears one of those suits like in the movie "outbreak" over bunker gear, over a bullet resistant vest, which has already saved his life once.
My brother is a cop in the same area where my dh now works.
The hours and the commute do suck, but with any luck it will only be for a short time. there is the possibilty of him being switched out after 6 months. It's just one of those things we have to put up with for now because the promotion will be worth it in the long run. He has to pay off three more years since the department paid for his outside schooling, and then we will have a lot more options.
I feel better today. I have, however, decided that I need a KKAFP pronto.
Thanks again for the well wishes, they really helped.

denna
11-30-2006, 02:05 PM
Wow Alicia. It really does sound like they have a pretty good tag team strategy worked out.

COngrats to DH on the promotion. That really stinks that he is gone so much more and in a less safe environment. I have never lived in or around a big city, so I cant imagine how scared you must be for your DH.

It sounds like you are sooo exhausted mama. I hope you enjoy those cheese sandwiches, though you probably wont even get a chance to eat. I wish I could offer you a helping hand and if I lived near you Id love to pitch in and see the girls :). It could be fun.

Well Hugs mama, I know its not much but I hope they help ;).

Hang in there....

maestramommy
12-01-2006, 04:15 PM
Yikes! You are really having a time of it. I saw the story about the shooting (very tragic and I don't understand it at all), and then saw w/o sound Jackson and Sharpton the day later. Any time I see Jackson on the news I tend to steer clear. I know he's a civic leader and has done some great things, but he just annoys me and sometimes I think he jumps into things and say the oddest things.

((HUGS)) Alicia. I really hope your kiddos start sleeping in tandem soon.

Alice523
12-01-2006, 10:00 PM
I can't imagine! It must be very hard to hang in there. I have a lot of respect for you - from your posts, it sounds like you have a genuinely positive attitude. You're doing a great job. I hope things ease up on you soon.

Lovingliv
12-02-2006, 10:14 AM
Cheese sandwiches are a good example of me "cooking" dinner! Hugs Alica...it is just a moment in time. You are very patient to say the least.
Can MIL help you at all? I know it can be stressful with her there, but if you are SLEEPING while she takes care of the kids she can't annoy you :)

fortato
12-02-2006, 09:33 PM
Hey Alicia,

Just thought I send you some hugs and let you kjnow I was thinking about you! I hope your day is going better... It's 4 hours away, but need me to schlep Jack out there and give you a hand??


To cheer you up- just think about scooping up buckets of bubbles... (Total waste of time!)

Take care you!

Kristen

ShanaMama
12-04-2006, 11:47 PM
Hey Alicia. I guess congrats to your DH about his promo, but doesn't sound like you're too thrilled about it.
Do you live in Queens? I was also really freaked about that shooting, but the response has been absolutely insane. I grew up on the border of Queens/ LI, & there are some neighborhoods pretty near my parents where I wouldn't walk down the street during broad daylight. Of course, now that I live in suburban NJ, I commute to one of those neighborhoods every day!
Hope things start looking up for DH soon.
I admire you tremendously- I always read your posts & wonder how you can be so upbeat & chilled about all that goes on with 2 babies. I get overwhelmed enough with just one, & I always wonder how I'll ever manage when I decide to try for the next. Which is why I'm not ready yet...

buddyleebaby
12-05-2006, 12:51 AM
pm'd you.