Feeling guilty: Someone please take our dog..

[niccig]

We have 2 dogs and are looking for a home for no. 2,. Dingo. She really needs to be an only dog, and as DH has had dog no. 1, Maggie, for years it's Dingo we need a home for. DH sent an email at work and a colleague trialled her this weekend. Dingo is a big active dog and this colleague worked in a dog kennel during college and has always had active dogs. It seemed like a good match, except her 14 month old son got jealous and threw tantrums anytime the dog got attention, so they're bringing her back. And I feel guilty as I don't want Dingo back, it was so nice this weekend just having Maggie and not dealing with the dogs' jealousy and Dingo bounding around the house. DS has also started to be afraid of Dingo, who has never been agressive but she does lick and has knocked DS over when she's bounding around. I feel awful for not wanting our dog. She is very lovey and cuddly, especially at night, but she's never seemed to fit well with Maggie and now that we have DS, it's even more to deal with. I just don't know what to do and I feel guilty for not wanting her anymore.

Nicci

[cmdunn1972]

Awwww... Dingo sounds like a real(ly active) cutie! I have a feeling DS would adore her. (He's 19 months and adores my parents' 10 year old English Cocker so much that he cries when he has to leave the dog! No tears shed for my parents, however. ;)) One question, how is she with cats? We have 2 cats, but no dogs.

LOL What breed of dog is Dingo? The way you describe her (especially "big" "active" and "lovable") she sounds like some labs - or lab mixes - that I know.

[niccig]

We don't know her mix, she's a bit of everything. I'm Australian and she has the colouring of a dingo and dingoes are supposed to be a mix of everything, hence her name. We've never tried her with cats. I do think she needs to be an only dog as when she's with Maggie the two of them try to be dominant and jump around trying to make the other submissive and that's when DS gets knocked over. Separately though, they seem to both be much calmer. She's about 70lbs and strong, but we've done a fair bit of training for walking on a leash etc. Both are dogs are rescue dogs and the trainer we saw said they'll never be the kind of dogs you can let off a leash, as they bolt for the hills. DS opened the back door the other week and both dogs escaped, DS and I in car and searching the neighbourhood.

I think the reason I feel guilty is that I looked into rescue dog organizations and many dogs are dumped because the family didn't choose the right dog or it's more work than they thought. I suppose the difference is that we're trying to find her a better family.

Nicci

[MamaMolly]

Nicci,
Please, please, please don't feel bad for trying to do the right thing!!

You are trying to find Dingo a nice home, not 'dump' her on anyone. Here is what I did when we had to find a new home for a 110# German Shepherd (slightly different situation, he was very aggressive, killed a neighbor's cat and rescue agencies refused to accept an aggressive dog...go figure.)

Anyway, at my Mom's suggestion, I opened up the yellow pages and started calling dog trainers. I explained that we had a dog that needed a new home, and I was trying to do the right thing, not just dump him at the pound. (Ok, not that the pound is evil or anything, I got my one of my kitties from the pound, it is just that many animals don't leave the pound alive) Several of the trainers had good suggestions, and they hooked me up with a no-kill shelter where they were going to try and rehabilitate him.

And I think it is rotten that the rescue agencies are guilting you. They are discouraging you from using thier services by doing this! What do they think your alternative is?

Now go whip out that phone book, and see what your local trainers have to say. Good luck, and know you are doing the right thing for Dingo AND your family.
Molly

[sarahsthreads]

Don't feel guilty. You're trying to do the right thing for your family, and the safety of your DS. I know what it's like to have a dog that is a lot more work than expected and isn't really the right fit for a family. We're working through it, but there are days when I wish I could find her a new home. I think the PP's suggestion of calling trainers is a good one.

Will one of the rescue organizations "advertise" your dog for you? I know there are some where the dog continues to live with you, but their picture and stats are up on the rescue's website and if someone expresses an interest in adopting the dog they can do so. At least it might be something to look into.

Sarah :)

[Raidra]

I wouldn't feel guilty at all, you're doing the right thing in trying to find her a family that fits her needs better. We had two dogs and they eventually started fighting. We were able to manage it, but they had to be separated which wasn't always possible. I was so worried one of the kids was going to accidentally get in the middle of one of their fights. We found the younger/newer dog a home with a single guy who devotes all his free time to her, and our other dog gets to spend more time with us. We're a lot happier all around.

Just be patient.. it took us a year and a half to find the right fit, and I even looked into rescue organizations and everything (they wouldn't take her because she was shy, and wouldn't make a good first impression). A few months after we rehomed our dog, we got an email from the guy saying that he lost his job, and that he may have to return her if he couldn't find a job close enough (he didn't want her to be home alone for too long), and I was so worried that she'd come back.. but it turned out alright in the end.

[niccig]

Thanks everyone. Apparently a few other people at DH's work also asked about Dingo, so we'll see if anyone else is interested. Unfortunately, everyone there works crazy hours and I don't think that will be good for her. I haven't contacted rescue organisations yet, I just looked at websites and in the blurb about the dog they'll say dumped because owner said too much work etc, and that made me feel guilty. They do let people put up courtesy listings, so we may do that. We want her to have a good home, so we're prepared to wait until we find the best match. The lady who had her for the weekend, said she was an absolute sweety and wasn't crazy at all. As soon as she's in our door, the two dogs are jumping all over each other trying to be dominant and DS got knocked down. I really think she'll do better in a home where she's the only pet and if they have children, they need to be older, around 10 or so. We'll also do a trial where the person can have her, and if it doesn't work we'll take her back. We rescued her and don't want her dumped again.
Hopefully, we'll find something that works.
Nicci

ETA DH called, someone else at work may be interested. No kids and live in a house with yard, and room mates, all want a dog to take hiking etc so single, time to spend with dogs and wants them. Maybe this will work.