DH gets the Grinch award in our house. - updated

[dules]

UPDATE so tonight we are pumping up DD's hop ball and DH says "I couldn't find anything cheap to stick in your stocking so you're not getting anything. I hope that's OK." I tell him that it's not the presents but the way he talks about them, that makes me feel hurt (last year he filled my stocking with canned goods from our pantry and thought he was really funny). He somehow makes excuses when it's too late to shop and basically asks me to feel guilty about him not being thoughtful. It really p*sses me off.

Thanks for listening!
-----------------------------------------------------------

So last night DH and I were wrapping Santa presents and the last few Hanukkah gifts. I've wrapped all the Hanukkah stuff thus far.

I set out the white craft paper and red chunky yarn (thanks to someone on the BBB for this idea) and told him this was for Santa only.

Then I showed him how the gifts were organized - Hanukkah, Santa for under our tree, Santa gifts (furniture) to go into the dollhouse that my parents (GrandSanta? LOL) got for DD. The dollhouse furniture, I explain, is not to be wrapped - instead we'll set up the house, furnished, and make a 1/2 wrapped box to set over it with a bow (this will be fun around midnight Christmas eve I'm sure).

So DD starts to yell for her mommy (it's after 9 PM) and I go upstairs for about a half hour. Come back down to find:

- Santa gifts wrapped in printed holiday paper (from my wrapping box)
- Hanukkah gift wrapped in Santa paper

I tell him the problem and he gets all huffy and aks, "Why didn't you TELL me this BEFORE?" Um, I did, a half hour ago, you just weren't listening (not my problem).

Then he starts on the dollhouse furniture - "Man, this is a lot of stuff. How much was all of this?" So I tell him how much we spent, he shakes his head. I remind him that we bought these things in October, that we discussed it and reviewed our shopping cart together before I pushed submit. He still shakes his head and grumbles about money. GRRRR!

He never enjoys the holidays. He's one who never buys me a gift for any occasion but loves to receive them. I actually bought my own this year ($17 crock pot from Target) but am making him wrap it. His dad visited for Hanukkah this weekend and I asked DH if I could pick up a book for him at B&N, DH said no, his dad would not bring gifts - and of course he did and I felt totally humiliated as we had nothing for him.

Thanks for listening - it feels good to get this out! Anyone else have a Grinchy, Scrooge-y, killjoy type person in your family?



Mary

[bubbaray]

Yeah, I live with a Grinch, who incidently LOVES to receive gifts. Grrrr.

In fact, my Grinch (who may be in need of a new home soon) just called me from a local store asking me what he should get DD. Uh, I sent you "her" wish list TWO months ago. All he had to do was print the stupid thing. And he's all stressed. Whatever. If I hadn't been able to take his call, I bet he would have gotten her nothing. The gifts that he's suggested getting her have all been kinda dumb, IMO. My gifts for her, OTOH, rock, if I do say so myself.

I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas. Now, knowing that I have to deal with DH's crap pretty much all season long, has turned me into a Grinch too. Sigh.


Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

DD#2: c/s 01/2007

[LarsMal]

Sorry- had to LOL at the canned goods in the stocking comment. :-)

At least he told you he didn't buy anything for your stocking. I bought my own stuff for my stocking this year. I got one of those $10 coupons to Kohl's and DH said, "Good, now you can buy your own socks." YIPPPEEEE socks!!! So I bought my socks, and a few other things to go with them! What is DH getting in his stocking- JUST SOCKS!!

(Last year we were with his family for Christmas, so his mom filled our stockings. I swear she put about 2 dozen things of Tic Tacs in his stocking, so I think I'm going to do that again this year...if I can remember!)

[DebbieJ]

Yep, my DH is being a total a$$ about the holidays too. He is just no fun.

He's getting coal in his stocking. ;)

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[saschalicks]

Sorry but your DH really pisses me off. I think you should go out tomorrow get yourself what you would want in your stocking. Including those diamond earrings you need and then on Christmas day tell him that this is how to fill your stocking next year. See if he'll be laughing then. Although I know I would be. I know I'm harsh.

[bubbaray]

WOW, OK, 2 thoughts. (1), he gets nothing and I mean NOTHING from you for Christmas. or (2) you fill his stocking with lumps of coal (I'd use charcoal briquettes, but he'll get the point).

Even my Grinch isn't that stupid. He knows he'd better pony up on the big day, or swear to G--, I would return every last thing I bought him. And, for this year, if he gives me one single flippin' "gift certificate" (that he makes himself and puts EXPIRY dates on), I will seriously hurt him.

I like the PP's idea of filling your stocking with diamond earrings. Make sure you use his CC.

Sheesh. Bah Humbug to him too.

Hugs to you -- none of us momma's deserve such shoddy treatment.


Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

DD#2: c/s 01/2007

[BaileyBea]

Mary and Melissa ... Are your DH"s related to my DH?????? I think they maybe related.

I posted not too long ago about him being such a downer at xmas.

And it's still been a very painful few weeks. I too used to love love love christmas. Now I just want to pack my bags and go live in Cancun for a few days and pretend xmas never happened. Just pass me the margarita!

I got DH some nice gifts from the kids and I bet you he didn't get me anything from him or the kids. I took the kids to the paint the pottery place and made mug w/the kids hand print and foot print. Too cute. I guess the pain of giving birth w/o drugs and having issues afterward that are painful and linger for months is enough of a gift. A gift in the A$$... Gawd! I am so cynical now. :-) Ha Ha!

Of course he loves opening gifts just doesn't like giving them. har har!

Okay better run and go finish the laundry, baking, cleaning before I go to bed.

Nancy

[new_mommy25]

Your husband is just plain rude. I would be very hurt by those comments.

[buddyleebaby]

Mary, that really is horrible. After reading your update it sounds like he is being just plain mean.

(hugs)

[chlobo]

Wow Mary. He is a grinch. My DH said to me last year "well when do I have time to xmas shop?" Gee, I take care of a toddler and somehow I find the time to shop for his entire family. You think he could find some time to shop for one person?

Its amazing that they don't get it. Could you put some coal in his stocking to see if he'd get the point?

[jal]

As one of the few men that participate in this forum, I'd like come to the defense of your husband and try to provide insite on this situation from a man's point of view...






...{ THINKING }...




...{ hmmmm }...





...{ got to come up with something to make a stand for us men }...





...{ working too late... no can always stop by WalMart during lunch tomorrow }...





...{ already spent too much... wait, alread said looking for stuff cheap }...





...{ I don't know what she likes... doesn't matter it's the though that counts }...





...{ I've got it, I'm just too darn lazy... wait minute, using the truth ain't going to get us out of this one }...




...{ hmmm }...





...{ hmmm }...





...{ can goods last year?...hmmm }...





...{ didn't even make the effort to buy the can goods, just grabbed them from the pantry...hmmmm }...





...{ lucky he didn't get that stocking upside the head }...





...{ announses that he didn't get anything }...





Well at least he didn't wait til the last minute to tell you he didn't get you anything... { wait, wait, take that back, they weren't supposed to see that... lame lame lame }...





...{ hmmm }...





...{ how to get out of this one }...





...{ hmmm }...





...{ now during Easter, I was at least able to come up with the idea of getting her some Leggs pantyhose in eggs for Easter }...





...{ hmmm }...





...{ wait... I've got an idea... yea that might just work }...





DUMB ASS!!!

[candybomiller]

Mary,

That was just hurtful for your *H to say. I would take back anything and everything that you got for him. Let him see how it feels to be on the other end for a change. And, to be honest, I would use the money from returning his stuff to buy stuff for you.

[punkrockmama]

^^Word. I totally agree with Candy. What a mean thing to say. That kinda goes beyond just a guys are clueless comment. I would give him a lump of coal and take all his presents back and treat myself to something, anything.

Big hugs to you girlie. Your husband is totally peeing in your egg nog. I know you love the guy, but what an @sshole.

[bubbaray]

Priceless -- thanks for the perspective!


Melissa

DD#1: 04/2004

DD#2: c/s 01/2007

[Alys the Cat]

Yup -- my DH is pretty Grinchy, too. He doesn't pitch in with any of the WORK associated with the holidays (decorating, shopping, shipping presents, ordering and mailing cards, cooking, baking, cleaning, etc.) but he sure loves to bask in the glow of the tree.

I used to really enjoy the holidays, but they have become way too stressful for me. If it wasn't for DS, I wouldn't even go through the motions. As it is, I stopped buying gifts for DH. And I have one heck of a time picking out a card for him. Hallmark just can't put my feelings into words. ;)

So you're not alone! Hang in there and buy yourself something special from Santa! :)

[Lynnie]

sorry.

I hear you.

And I tell you, my mom made it all look so easy. sigh.

[casey0729]

Big hugs to all you Mamas with grinchy husbands. I am so sorry you have to endure this. I agree - stop buying for them and go buy for yourself!!


KC

http://b2.lilypie.com/AWLtm5.png

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev197prs__.png

[Dcclerk]

I laughed aloud at work for that one. There really was nothing that could get him out of it, was there? Dumbass, indeed :)

[SpaceGal]

I'm sorry to hear your DH is such a Grinch. He just takes the mood right out of the holidays for you. You totally should be Grinchy too and return all his crap...better yet, leave his presents out not wrapped but bagged with receipts attached so he can see them. Then if he says anything just tell him those are going back to the store since he's being such a Grinch.

In my family the Grinchy one is my mom. It's not necessarily that she lives with us but last year she spent Christmas with us and she was total whiny little Grinch. I had to drag her shopping for presents for DS and she had nothing for DH at all. Luckily, she brought up some pair of freebie binoculors that she got from opening some bank account and told me she was going to just give them to DH, I told her to wrap them and at least have that for him for Christmas. Then on Christmas when we were all opening gifts, she saw how thoughtful DH (who went out by himself to by gifts for everyone) and I were so thoughtful to go out and try to find her things she might like. She was crying...phony tears mind you...oh you guys are so thoughtful blah blah blah, and poor old me I didn't get anybody anything thoughtful. Ugh I wanted to smack her. Like shut up and stop crying.

This year she wanted to come up again for Christmas, I told her is she was coming to at least participate in Christmas and bring everyone something small. She gave me a hundred and one excuses as to why she won't go shopping for gifts...excuses like she's old, she doesn't know what we like, she doesn't have time...etc. I told her we're nto a pack of monkeys for her to watch on Christmas morning and that if she wants to spend Christmas with us she better shape up and participate or don't even bother coming up because no one wants to see her cry her fake tears. Sorry I know I might sound cold but what peeves me about my mom's holiday behavior is that she willingly goes out shopping for her boyfriend and his grandchildren (even when she hasn't met them) and gets them all this nice stuff from high end stores...but for her own flesh and blood nothing...maybe jsut dollar store stuff if we're that lucky.

So this year I banned the Grinch from our house.

[ShanaMama]

That was just great!
To the OP, sorry your DH is being so annoying. Yeah- stocking with cans upside the head indeed!

[tiapam]

>UPDATE so tonight we are pumping up DD's hop ball and DH says
>"I couldn't find anything cheap to stick in your stocking so
>you're not getting anything. I hope that's OK."

So I guess he won't fit in your stocking then?

-Pam

DD - Two years old!

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

jal, i just about shot eggnog out of my nose. My dh laughed pretty hard too. I think you hit the nail on the head.

[candybomiller]

LMAO!!!!!!!!

That made me spit soda at my screen! Pam, you are too funny for words.

That's priceless. (Pun intended)

[dules]

Thank you all for the support, sympathy and laughs. Makes me feel much better.

And DD is so darned excited, I'm just going to focus on that and enjoy seeing the next few days through her eyes. If DH can't see the magic in that, well too bad. :P



Mary

[candybomiller]

But I want to know if you took any of his presents back!

[HHCs Mom]

I honestly think that most men use their ignorance as a total cop out at gift-giving time. "I don't know what to get you" or "I'm not good at picking out gifts". What a load of BS! PAY ATTENTION and you'll figure something out! You certainly pay plenty of attention when I shop and watch the credit card bills like a hawk, you can *listen* once in awhile and pick up on things I talk about. Can you tell I have a crappy gift-giver in my house, too? :)

DH talked to my mom, which was a very smart move on his part, and she said that she thinks he did ok, so I'm hopeful but not getting too excited just in case. ;)

Kim
~ mama to a sweet boy named Harrison ~ 4.6.04
...and #2 due 5.24.07!

[dules]

I didn't, but am debating whether to actually put them in his stocking. (evil laugh) I could just put the tea in the cabinet, the PJs and socks in his drawers, etc. :P



Mary

[dules]

Kim! Congratulations!!!!! :) I'm so happy for you!

Talking to my mom or my sisters would have been smart but also would have made him unable to weasel his way out of this. LOL. Oh and wouldn't my sisters LOVE to talk to him (they've been hearing this Grinchy song since 1994).

I hope he does well by you. You deserve it. :)



Mary

[KBecks]

Next year, fill your own stocking baby, and make it good for yourself!! :)