Frustrated after doing a good deed!

[MMEand1]

So I post on a cloth diaper site every once in a while and have made a few friends over there. There is this one particular mama who used to own a diaper company, but recently sold it. She posted that she was having some bad financial issues and after she and her husband did their budget, they realized that there was no money for Holiday gifts. She said that she did not even know if they were going to be able to continue living in their house because of the monthly note and they were crammed in that house already (4 kids/3 bedroom house). Someone suggested they file bankrupt, but she said that they did that a few years ago and can't do it again.

I felt so bad for her because I know what it is like to have nothing. I e-mailed her and asked her if I could send the kids a gift for Christmas and what were their ages. She responded immeadiatly and that the kids would be very excited. I sent her a huge box of things for everyone in the family, including the mom and dad!

I tracked the package and know that it arrived Friday afternoon. I have yet to recieve even an e-mail saying that they got the box. I got on the board that I know her from and it seems that at least 4 other people sent her family gifts, too! I feel as though she has taken advantage and is having a great Christmas on everyone else's dime! In addition to this, she still owes me a diaper that I bought from her over a month ago!

I know I should not feel this way, but it makes me feel as though all those "We're so poor" stories are just a way to get something for nothing. I spent more on her family this year than I did my own! Money doesn't grow on trees, especially after you make 2 cross-country moves in less than a year (job-related...not by choice).

If you have made it this far, thanks. I just needed to get this off my chest...
Mariah P.

[buddyleebaby]

Hugs, Mariah.
I know how you are feeling.

A couple of years ago we adopted a family through Operation Santa (at the PO) and another boy. We went to drop off the gifts in person (I had a huge gaul for the family). So at the first apartment, the little boy's mom opens the door, takes the package and slams the door in our face w/o saying a word.
At the second house, the dad does say thank you and Merry Christmas but their house was nicer than ours. They had gorgeous furniture, a breakfront filled with beautiful things, toys galore, etc. so we left feeling kind of deflated. We want to believe that they were truly in need but it was hard.

You tried to reach out to someone. You should be proud of yourself for that. Your heart was in the right place. Little acts of kindness make this world go round.
And maybe she is thrilled with everything and is just very busy prpearing for what will be a very happy Christmas afterall, thanks to you. ; )

[SnuggleBuggles]

Maybe that 2nd family was just up to their eyeballs in debt? They still had their house and stuff but were officially in financial straits? Just a thought.

And Mariah, you did a good thing. Manbe next time just make a donation to charity and know that the goods and such will get to families who qualify for and really need the help?

Marry Christmas!

Beth

[Pennylane]

Mariah,

I know exactly how you feel. We adopt a family to help every year and lasts years family did not seem very appreciative at all. I was pretty upset after spending hours shopping and wrapping their gifts. After I thought about it though, I think a lot of that is due to embarrasment on their part that they are accepting help.

This year our family could not have thanked us anymore and was so happy with everything.

You should feel great just knowing that you maybe made a diiference for that family this Christmas!

Ann

[buddyleebaby]

>Maybe that 2nd family was just up to their eyeballs in debt?
>They still had their house and stuff but were officially in
>financial straits? Just a thought.


Of course it's possible. I tried not to make assumptions and chose to believe they really needed the help.

[bcky2]

i know how you feel, i have had the same thing happen to me. i am going to pm you about something :)

[jgiovagn]

Maybe they are waiting until Christmas day to open the presents and give you a "proper" thank you? Although it wouldn have been nice for her to contact you when she received the box.

Jean

[MamaMolly]

You did the right thing, no matter if she did or not. You reached out to help someone you thought was in need.

If nothing else, take comfort in knowing that YOUR karma is headed in the right direction!

:-)
Molly

[KBecks]

Oh, I hope she sends you a thank you.... maybe it will just take longer... who knows what their holiday plans are or what else is going on in their lives..... anyway, give it a little more time and I hope it comes.. otherwise, you should ask her if they got it and give a little nudge :)

[punkrockmama]

>You did the right thing, no matter if she did or not. You
>reached out to help someone you thought was in need.
>
>If nothing else, take comfort in knowing that YOUR karma is
>headed in the right direction!

EXACTLY. Couldn't have said it better myself. You're a good egg Mariah. :)

[kijip]

I know how you feel. While 98% of the clients at work are nice, clearly in need and say thank you, there are 2% or so who are clearly just trying to scam or who don't even seem in need or who are really rude about it. I hope you still find some joy in knowing that the kids had a great holiday and you were part of that. Like a pp said, your karma is boosted!

[kijip]

One thought, just to make you feel better is that you could have been delivering gifts to a family who was staying with their friends or family but too embarrassed to spell out that they were basically homeless. I only mention that because I know I made at least 4 deliveries like that for work this year. Unless I worked for the agency and had the details (like I do and did ;) ) I would not have known that they were not at "their" home. I made a delivery of presents and food money to a house with a huge flat panel tv so I felt the same as you did. Sure I don't know if it was theirs or paid for a whatever but it seems a little off in that if you need help feeding your children, your TV should not be the priority in the house.