I know this is horrible, but... (gastric bypass envy)

[WooChx]

The girl that sits next to me at work had gastric bypass surgery. In about 6 months she is down at least 100lbs. She looks freaking fabulous and I'm insanely jealous to the point it makes me angry! Especially, since she constantly brings in all sorts of junk food left over from her kids and leaves it on the table right next to us for people (me) to munch on. I probably wouldn't be so mad if she was still a nice person, but she's turning into a royal b**ch! Not to mention she doesn't even exercise!! Here I am counting the freaking peas on my plate trying to lose weight and all I've done is gain, gain, gain!!! ARGGGGG!!!!!

[deenass]

Gastric Bypass is SERIOUS surgery with SERIOUS risks. DH's aunt died following her surgery, due to complications that arose immediately after. Don't be jealous of her, be glad that you are not in the same situation and have to make what can be a life threatening decision.

It is TOTALLY crappy that she brings in junk food and leaves it out.

[elizabethkott]

My best friend's SIL had the same surgery in October...

Apparently, it's very restrictive - like she can have *a* bite of a steak, or *a* bite of cake... I'd hate to live like that. She's also had a lot of issues when it comes to reintroducting certin types of food back into her system - she frequently has bad reactions to things and then gets violently ill.

My bf said that the SIL is also getting a little b*tchy herself...
Maybe it's the "no ice-cream" rule. That would be enough to do it for me! :)

[millerpjm]

I may be wrong about this, but if you have that surgery but continue to eat poorly, your stomach can stretch back out to its original size????

I understand your envy and frustration, but if you are working on losing weight the right way, you'll be better off in the long run. I can say this because I have been working on losing weight, and although it's been going slowly, I can feel good about my accomplishment. I have lost 61 pounds, and it's taken me 1 1/2 years. I am working on my last 13 pounds, and it is a daily struggle. Then, you see someone who appears to have taken the "easy way out" and you wonder why you can't/didn't do it too ( I keep thinking about the Atkins diet - relatives did that while I was doing WW. They all gained back - I went from a size 20 to a size 8-10.:) )

Keep up with what you're doing and you'll be fine. You're worth the time it takes to lose weight the healthy way!

Jen

[mommyto4]

Sorry to high-jack but, I was wondering, is WW weight watchers? I have thought about weight watchers. I have heard good things about it. I am about 120-130 pounds overweight and very out of shape. The thought of gastric bypass scares me, but so does the thought of being this heavy or heavier for the rest of my life. Is weight watchers good for people like me that have alot of weight to lose? I thought that it was mainly for people that need to lose up to 50 pounds or so. TIA

[Mommy Of A Little Angel]

WW is definately an option for you. My mom used it a few years back and lost nearly 100 lbs. It totally changes how you eat and what you think about food. They call it a lifestyle change. It's easy to get started, easy to follow, and easy to maintain. I would definately give it a try if I were you!

[Momof3Labs]

I have a good friend who did that, and it is no party. She had to eat baby food for a long time, and vomited up a lot of her food. When she could eat more, it was such small quantities, and had to be chewed extra long or it would come back up. It was rough, definitely not something to envy!!

Perhaps request a move so that the junk food doesn't tempt you? Or find a different place for her to put the junk food?

[kijip]

Yeah, I agree with Lori. Have her move her kid's junk food ASAP. When I went from working at a place with a sweets spot to a place where I was alone with no coworkers bringing in brownies and candy etc, I lost 10 pounds immediately.

[candybomiller]

I have a great suggestion for where she can put that junk food!

Hee, hee.

[mommyto4]

Thanks! I never thought that it would work for me because of the amount of weight that I NEED to lose. I will check around in my area and see what I can find.

[lizajane]

TRY IT!!! i think weight watchers is amazing. i just joined (again) yesterday. in the interest of full disclosure, i am only trying to lose 18lbs. but i have done it before and it WORKS. and there were people at my meeting who had lost 75, 85 and 101 lbs!!! the gal who lost 75lbs is a mom of young kids and she was STUNNING. i had a friend at an old job who went from a size 14/16 to a size FOUR and she has kept it off for 5 years even after TWO kids!!! MIL lost 30+ lbs 5 years ago and she is only back up 8lbs from her goal she reached 5 years ago.

try it try it try it.

high fiber, high protein, count points and get moving- walk around the block to get started. the program is GREAT.

good luck!!

[dr mom]

I don't envy the folks who have bypass surgery. I've watched two patients struggle with complications this past year - one who developed an abscess and wound up with a colostomy bag for several months, and one who developed recurring blood clots and was re-admitted to the hospital several times. It is NOT a quick fix, it is major abdominal surgery with serious potential side effects. For someone who is unwilling or unable to lose weight by more conventional means, the risks of surgery may be acceptable when compared with the health risks of obesity, but I think Weight Watchers is a much safer and more sustainable option.

I also know someone (an acquaintance, NOT my patient) who refused to adhere to the postop diet, and her stomach eventually stretched out and she regained all the weight. She had a second bypass surgery (WTF was that surgeon thinking?) which was also a failure, again because of her binge eating. Reputable gastric bypass programs require counseling, psychological evaluation, and a LIFETIME committment to dietary changes and exercise. I don't envy anyone who does it - it's hard work.

[MelissaTC]

It is the BEST plan out there. Seriously. My WW leader lost 122 lbs in two years. She looks fantastic. I am back on track and feel great. WW is a life plan, not another diet, ykwim? Check out the website. It is a great source of information.

HTH! You can do it girl!

[cstack]

OK, I started this but my laptop's touchy controls bump me back before I finished. Long post short (cuz I don't feel like re-typing) yes, your stomach will "restretch" (seen it).

WW (weight watchers) is probably the best "diet" because you gain a different lifestyle with it and one you can *truly* live with.

I've done 'em all. I lost the most weight the fastest with South Beach, but I can't truly live that way forever.

I have a Behavioral Neurology prof (psychology phd) say that if you want to lose weight, dieting is the worst thing you can do because you're body is still living with thousand of years of evolution ingrained into it and to your body "diet" is the equivalent of starvation - and thus it reacts by "storing" everything and shutting down your metabolism.

ETA: Well, excuse me. I did say IME and that's been my experience. I'm "bitchy" fat and skinny. In fact, I'm not "bitchy" I am THE bitch. I don't think bitch is a bad thing - I generally figure when someone calls you a bitch it's because you're a strong woman and that bothers them. Sorry if I offended anyone (and apparently everyone). I've removed my gross generalization. I think I'll go now.

[Sillygirl]

I agree. I've seen patients die from the complications. That said, I also think it's lifesaving for others with diabetes and high blood pressure who are going into kidney failure and heart failure as a result of their weight.

There are great success stories with every type of diet, but for many people, large amounts of weight loss are not going to be accomplished without surgery.

Bottom line: no quick fixes for this problem.

[randomkid]

Maybe she's b**tchy because she never gets to eat anything! That surgery is dangerous and serious. I know someone who had internal bleeding immediately after, almost died and now has brain damage. He had a successful career and is now on disability.

I've had patients who have had major complications from this surgery and have not lost weight because of prolonged hospitalization. I've also seen patients regain weight after this surgery. "Dumping Syndrome" can occur with these patients - sounds horrible:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Dumping-Syndrome:-The-Dirty-Secret-Gastric-Bypass-Patients-Keep&id=36837

Also, who knows what will happen to these people in 20, 30 years. I think there are major problems in the future for these people.

I know someone who has been very successful on WW. I also know of 2 people who lost significant amounts of weight with lifestyle modification - simple exercise (walking) and mainly eating more healthy foods and smaller portions. They didn't go on a diet, just cut out the junk and ate a little less at each meal.

Don't be envious of that woman. She will most likely have her share of problems with this surgery and may already and you just don't know about it!

[Fairy]

Absolutely WW is, IMO, the best overall program for anyone in the general population because a) you can eat whatever you want in the points system, it forces you to set realistic goals steps at a time, and gives you flexibility if you want to do something more Atkinsy (called "core"). See, the problem with this or any plan, however, is that you have to stay on it and stop lying to yourself. That's my problem. I've done almost everything barring surgery, and I come back to WW. Ya know, after I fall off the wagon.

If you can't find one near you, you can always join online. I don't need the group therapy type deal. So, that's a better option for me. Might wanna check it out.

[mommyto4]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. You guys have talked me into it. I'm checking out WW first thing tomorrow. I love the idea of the online thing but, I think that at least in the beginning I need support people behind me to give me that extra push.

[MayB]

Good for you. The WW philosophy has really helped me get control of my weight and lead a healthier lifestyle. Please visit the MommyFit board if you have questions/want support/want to vent as you begin the program.

[trumansmom]

>ETA: IME - "fat" people who become "skinny" people are
>generally "bitchy". They start to feel "smug".

What an incredibly mean generalization to make!!! Perhaps they're just relieved to no longer be treated as second class citizens.

I had weight loss surgery (Lap Band, not a bypass) about a month ago. It's not easy. Trust me.


Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04

[millerpjm]

Yes, I have done Weight Watchers for a long time. There are quite a few people at my meetings who have lost large amounts of weight (one couple who comes together have EACH lost over 100 pounds!). Weight Watchers is good for anyone, and here's why - they show you how to eat for the rest of your life. They stress the importance of making changes in your lifestyle by eating healthy and doing more activity.

Now, I will warn you - it is NOT a quick fix. 1-2 pounds per week is what they say is a HEALTHY weight loss. So, with the amount of weight you have to lose, you will be doing it a long time. The upside is that you will be eating healthier, and so will your family. My husband is also losing weight just because I cook healthier foods!

If you want to email me, feel free. I wouldn't mind a bit:). A good email is tolhor@ hotmail.com (no spaces)

Also, Weight Watchers is having free registration right now, so it's a good time to check it out. Sorry if this sounds like a plug!

Jen

[WooChx]

I envy you too Jeanne! :) Good luck!

[alleyoop]

Good Luck to you Jeanne! Weight loss is a hard road, no matter the way you go and I agree with you, that isn't a nice generalization. Maybe they are just proud of themselves, which they should be! After all, surgery might make an adjustment to the anatomy, but the mental stuggle and pain is still the same and that is the hardest hole to fill.

[elephantmeg]

>I may be wrong about this, but if you have that surgery but
>continue to eat poorly, your stomach can stretch back out to
>its original size????

absolutely. I work with someone who's had and she has dumping syndrome and can't eat a lot of carbs at a time. She's gained all the weight back.

[barbarhow]

>
>
>ETA: IME - "fat" people who become "skinny" people are
>generally "bitchy". They start to feel "smug".

Wow. I'm kind of amazed that anyone would ETA something so mean. What a gross generalization and a mean one at that. I hope next time you edit, it will be to delete a statement like that.


Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
and Anna 5/12/05, my little Yankee fan!

[punkrockmama]

I get what you're saying about being jealous. It can be so hard to not compare ourselves to others. Just feel safe in the knowledge that you're working on YOURself the best way YOU can and it is worth the struggle. Hang in there girlie and tell her to keep that junk out of the office.

[MartiesMom2B]

MIL got gastric bypass and has become an even bigger PIA if that's possible. Now she feels that she is the weight patrol and comments on everyone's weight. Well I'm sorry that we have to lose weight the old fashioned way through diet and exercise and it take a little longer. I wouldn't feel envious. Apparently it rips up your digestive system afterwards, I know because MIL had to give the dirty details of her diahrea and vomiting. Gross! MIL has kept the weight off and she has changed her eating lifestyle. I think it's good that high in fatty foods and foods high in sugar give her stomach problems b/c I don't think she would've changed how she ate otherwise.

If she brings candy, I'd promptly put it in the kitchen or ask her to place it away from your desk.

-Sonia
Mommy to Martie
& Li'l Girl Bunny to come Feb. 2007
http://bd.lilypie.com/Kchhm4/.png (http://lilypie.com)

[tarabenet]

In my experience, people who lose a lot of weight they needed to lose are generally a lot more vibrant and healthy.

People who are generally "bitchy" out of their natural personality? That is a whole different problem.

I strongly urge you to edit out the hateful comment.

[cmdunn1972]

>ETA: IME - "fat" people who become "skinny" people are
>generally "bitchy". They start to feel "smug".

Personally, as someone who lost considerable weight, I find that to be a gross generalization. I'm also sorry that you endured that sort of treatment enough times for you to come to the conclusion that that sort of behavior is "normal"! I'd like to think that your experience was an unusual one.

I should also add that my DH wasn't quite as successful at losing weight with the method that worked for me. As such, I try to be sensitive to those with trouble losing weight despite my own success.

(Edited to clarify)

[tarabenet]

Jeanne, there is no way that is "taking the easy way out"!

I'd like to really encuourage people who have said/implied or even thought that to stop and think for a minute more. Anyone who has ever had a *real* weight problem (10 pounds or bikini season do not count!) will have to realize that no one would sign up for major surgery as a whim. That is the kind of decision a person (and her/his physician) reach only after trying plenty of other things, and finally seeing it as the best way to achieve a very important health goal.

We know Jeanne here. Many of us know how long she has struggled with weight, and that she considered this option for many months (heck, years?) before doing it. It would be easy to say "well, yeah, OK, so Jeanne didn't jump into it, but those other people....". And it would be wrong. Sure, there's a percentage of the population that is a little wacked and might do that easily, but the vast majority of people who opt for a lap band or bypass? Come on. Let's give them a break. They didn't wake up puffy one morning and decide to go to extremes to fix it. They fought a growing weight issue for years, and finally decided the ehalth risks for their particular bodies/histories/situation warranted going to a medical option.

Off my soapbox now.

ETA: I'm not excusing WooChx's coworker. Shame shame shame on her for being inconsiderate that way! And to people who turn around and do scary major damage to their bodies even after taking the medical/surgical option.

[mommyoftwo]

Well said. I couldn't have said it better myself.

[saschalicks]

It is very good for you to try. I have been on for 11 months and have lost 50 lbs with 17 more to go. My mom has lost 40 in that time and she has about 50 to go. My mom's best friend lost 95 lbs and has like 15 to go. She did it in 9 months. Some people once they get it in their heads their gonna' lose weight it really starts to come off. Good luck.

[jbowman]

>ETA: IME - "fat" people who become "skinny" people are
>generally "bitchy". They start to feel "smug".

You must work for the Zagat Survey, LOL!

ETA: I think this comment is an unkind generalization, as others have remarked.

[tarabenet]

Quote:
ETA: Well, excuse me. I did say IME and that's been my experience. I'm "bitchy" fat and skinny. In fact, I'm not "bitchy" I am THE bitch. I don't think bitch is a bad thing - I generally figure when someone calls you a bitch it's because you're a strong woman and that bothers them. Sorry if I offended anyone (and apparently everyone). I've removed my gross generalization. I think I'll go now.
End quote.

ROFLMFBO!
Yes, my fat behind.
I appreciate your addition, very much.