I hate people who think I work for fun. . .

[Bean606]

Unless you would like to volunteer to take care of DS for the price I pay for day care, or would like to pay me my salary to stay home with my DS, please don't make judgments about the fact that he is in day care. Unless I want to live in a cardboard box on the street, I need my job to pay my mortgage, student loans, and other bills. Yes, I drive him an hour each way so that he is close to my office and I know I can get to him if I need to, and yes, it is a pain to commute with him, but I don't want him left on a doorstep if I don't get home on time to pick him up at day care near home. No, I don't work because I don't love DS or because he is low on my list of priorities. I work because I have to, and unless I win Lotto, it is going to stay that way. Period.

[ShanaMama]

I hear ya! People can be so judgemental when they aren't the one making the decision. They think they know better than you how to parent, how to make daycare choices, etc.
Just stick it to them that you are your DS's mother & you make choices that are best for boh of you.

[Lynnie]

I hear you.

{{hugs}}

And, fwiw, I have a 12 mile, but 45 minute or longer commute nowadays, and I have some of the BEST discussions with my DSs (especially the older one) in the car - its great, no distractions, and just conversations about everything.

[maestramommy]

Okay, I know there are women out there who work because they really want to, as opposed to have to, but if so, SO WHAT?! Does that mean they love their children any less? I don't think so!! Why can't people stop judging and just be supportive?! Speaking as a SAHM who is tired of comparisons and mudslinging. That said, I'm still going to be watching Oprah tomorrow when they feature Elizabeth Vargas, who stepped down from World News Tonight (apparently) after her baby was born. HOPING I'll hear something unique.

[mommy111]

Hear, hear! Hugs and symapthies, from another mom who works because she has to!

[Nooknookmom]

Ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto, ditto. I had to WOH w/ DD1 till she was 3. Then the lovely company I worked at for 10 yrs went belly up. I joined DH in owning our own painting company thereafter and boy running your own business and taking care of a little one at the same time, well I have a lot of gray hair. This time w/ DD 2 I'll be running a business from home, nursing, changing poop, delivering material, going on estimates, bookkeeping, nursing, changing poop, etc. etc. etc. I'm OK, breathe.

Kills me when my girlriends get a job for "fun", stay w/ it a couple months and bail, b/c it's "too hard".

Thanks for letting me b#####h too!

[denna]

((HUGS)) I completely understand, I have been going through this battle w/ so many ppl from day one. I would love to be a SAHM but right now that isnt going to happen, and I may have to start accepting the fact that it may never happen. People just need to keep their mouths shut it is really none of their business. We get judgements from our 'friends' on the price we pay for one-on-one 'nanny' care instead of just sending him to the local day care center like everyone else because its cheaper, etc. That may be some people's choice but we like where he is now much more (I worked in the local day care center for a few months).

Thanks for letting me join in. Hang in there mama.

[MaiseyDog]

I completely agree. I work because when I was 18 yo I made the decision to go into a career that took a lot of education. I wasn't thinking about kids and student loan payments down the line. I like my job and down the road I can see the potential for part time or flexible hours, but right now I HAVE to work 40 hours a week.

I really hate it when I mention how much I would LOVE to be home with my Daughter and someone (usually a SAHM or the husband of a SAHM) says "well, we just had to make the sacrafice" as in implying that I am working becuase I'm too vain, stuck up, materialist, etc to sacrifice and go on a budget to stay home. No, we have student loan payments that are more than our house note. It is impossible to pay both and living expenses out of my husbands pay check. I promise I have crunched the numbers every which way.

I really do envy those that can stay home with their kids. I just hate it when others make assumptions about me, my financial situation, or my desire to be with my child solely on the fact that I work outside the home.

[lovin2shop]

Imagine the judgment you get when you choose to work. I've been on the receiving end of this alot. But really, it is noone else's business or family, so I just try to let it roll.

[Beth568]

I'm so sad that women are stuck in the middle of these situations no matter what they chose. As a SAHM, I feel that lots of people look down on me for compromising my career track, and I get all kinds of questions/comments about how I spend my time. And almost every friend of mine who is a WOHM feels judged for taking time away from her kids. :(

Men just don't face this criticism, at least certainly not as much as we do. I guess some SAHDs get it in the other direction.

I'm sorry that you have to put up with this. I wish we really DID have the kinds of choices we're supposed to have. They all come at a price. :(

[daniele_ut]

>I completely agree. I work because when I was 18 yo I made
>the decision to go into a career that took a lot of education.
> I wasn't thinking about kids and student loan payments down
>the line.
>I really hate it when I mention how much I would LOVE to be
>home with my Daughter and someone (usually a SAHM or the
>husband of a SAHM) says "well, we just had to make the
>sacrafice" as in implying that I am working becuase I'm too
>vain, stuck up, materialist, etc to sacrifice and go on a
>budget to stay home. No, we have student loan payments that
>are more than our house note. It is impossible to pay both
>and living expenses out of my husbands pay check. I promise I
>have crunched the numbers every which way.
>
>I really do envy those that can stay home with their kids. I
>just hate it when others make assumptions about me, my
>financial situation, or my desire to be with my child solely
>on the fact that I work outside the home.

I could have practically written your post and I agree with you completely!

To the OP, AMEN!

[kozachka]

I don't exactly have to work but it's nice to have the extra income. I work because it makes me a happier person and by default a better mother and wife. I've stayed home till DS was about 2.5 and a lot of people were questioning how someone with my education and brains could do that. And it hurt but that's not why I went back. I did it for myself and for my marriage, which was suffering from me staying home and from the lack of respect from DH. I have learned to tune nosey people out, that or my skin got 'thicker'. Oh, and I refuse to discuss really personal issues (as how long I've BF DS for and when I plan to go back to work) with anybody but my immediate family. It is YOUR life and it is up to YOU to decide how to live it.

[Nooknookmom]

and when we win split it! Wouldn't that be funny. "Bunch of women from BBB win a gazillion dollars", news at 11!

I had such a crappy day today, I needed a giggle :(