Cleaning the house for playgroup!

[Laurel]

I have been meeting with the same playgroup for two and half years and everyone still cleans their house spotless for playgroup every single time! Is this normal? I dread having it here because I know I will spend the whole day prior scrubbing! It goes on to be destroyed by seven toddlers!

We share sitters, so I have learned (yes, I shamelessly asked) that their houses are just as messy as mine most of the time anyway!

I could go on and on about the other facades we all have in this group, but I'll reserve this bitch for the cleaning thing. And yes, I have brought it up. No one changes. I'd be the first messy one but I already feel singled out as the only renter (in a tiny house), and the only mom who works. I do not want to be the messy mom too!!! UGH.

[SnuggleBuggles]

We still clean for playdates (playgroup fizzled out when the kids went to preschool at 3yo). I can't help it. It's this awful cycle, isn't it? I would love for everyone to just not clean hard core for these things. I have one friend that if I pop in on her house is nicely, normally messy. My other friend (with 3 kids in 3 years- oldest 4yo) always has such a clean, ready to go house. I have no idea how she does it.

On the other hand, it gives me a good excuse to clean. There are days that I would have to pretend not to be home if someone stopped by for an impromptu playdate. :)

Maybe ease into the mess. Don't pick up all the clutter or something and see what happens at your next playgroup. Maybe the next person won't clean quite as much as they used to. Start small and hope for changes. :)

Beth

[sarahsthreads]

Now see, I look at the other way: once a month, I have an excuse to make my house sparkling and spotless! Plus, I can actually get DH to help, when he normally won't clean anything just for the sake of having it be clean. (I swear, if DH were living on his own, bathrooms would be cleaned *maybe* yearly. Maybe. But that's another bitch entirely!)

If you're not talking crumb-covered counters and dog-fur tumbleweed (the current state of my house), but just a bit of clutter here and there, I would not stress yourself out about making your house spotless for a bunch of messy toddlers. After all, nobody looks at your house (and your mess) nearly as critically as you look at it yourself. (The dog fur and the large pile of dirty dishes notwithstanding. What am I doing online instead of cleaning?!?)

Go ahead, embrace the messiness. What's the worst they could do, not come to playgroup when it's at your house? ;)

Sarah :)

[Laurel]

ITA agree with you and the PP about it giving me an excuse to clean. I think it's more about wanting to feel like these are the kinds of friends I *should not* have to clean for than anything else.

[maestramommy]

Now see, our playdates are on Thursday, and I clean (or the cleaning lady does) on Friday. So what I do is just make sure the breakfast stuff is cleaned up, which it always is before I go out anyhow. And also make sure the bathroom isn't gross. That's about it. When I've been to other people's houses for playdates, they aren't spotless. Are you kidding me? I mean, if we were having adult company, yes I would clean. But if you're having a bunch of toddlers over with snacks and sippy cups and whatnot, the place is going to get messed up anyway. What are you going to do, clean twice?

[zoestargrove]

I understand what you are saying. I'm the only working mom in my group and IMO, my house is the least put together. I work hard the day before to get things sparkly. If it weren't for visitors, I might let more things go, so I've come to really appreciate what hosting playgroup does for me and my house.

The other moms in my group all have bigger houses and keep all the levels in their homes(some of them have 3 levels) sparkly clean. I don't pretend that I can do it all - I clean the first floor well, and the rest of the house is off limits.

I've met a really nice group of women. I don't feel pressure from the other moms in my group to compete for the cleanest house...and as a result I feel less internal pressure each time I host to get the house just right.

[niccig]

I make sure the dishes are done, so we can add more cups and plates to the sink. I vaccum as one boy has asthma and allergies and I have 2 dogs. Then I pick up some clutter and neatly stack or move if it'll get in the way. No scrubbing here, just surface cleaning. I say that you do as much as you can and want to do. You mention other facades in the group, maybe it's time to find another group that you get along with better.

[chlobo]

This is the way it is for our playgroups. BUT, they all have cleaning ladies because they all have very big houses.

Since I don't, mine isn't sparkly clean & I try not to worry about it.

[KBecks]

Come to my house, baby! It's a wreck! Let your little one crawl on my icky kitchen floor.

I wouldn't worry about labeling yourself, and please don't assume that the other moms label you. You may be different, but just because they pick up doesn't mean necessarily that they are judging you badly. KWIM? We are the smallest, messiest house of our playgroup, and we're probably the lowest-income family. While I'm aware that we're different, I do not worry about it, and I trust that I'm accepted. We moms have no problems finding commonalities.

I think what probably helps me is that I'm happy with my house and satisfied with my housekeeping, and that's what matters!

[KBecks]

I really truly started to love one of my playgroup friends when she saw me vacuuming when they arrived and said -- don't clean before we come! clean after we leave!

And she also said that she thinks that a little dirt is healthy. God bless her!


Her house always looks great, btw. :)

[tiapam]

I see what you mean, but I do need visitors to motivate me to clean. I have a clutter problem, though, so it's more stashing than cleaning here. And nobody would call it spotless. I do appreciate very much that my one mommy friend with cats (I am allergic) goes above and beyond vacuuming when we come over.

My pet peeve is when people try to help clean up before they go. When there are still toddlers everywhere it always seems kind of silly to me. Things are usually already going to hell by then and I really just want everyone to go home!

-Pam

DD - Two years old!

[Kungjo]

I clean for playdates as well. I always feel that my house is a mess. It seems like I don't clean, but I do and I pick up my DDs' toys after they go to bed too. But with two of them running around, they mess things up as soon as they wake up. Sometimes, I wonder why I bother because it never stays in place.

When I drop my DD at her friends' house for playdates, their houses always seem so clean. Seeing them like that only increases the pressure to keep my house clean and tidy like that as well. I sometimes wonder if they clean right before I come or if their houses are always that clean.

[ivparker]

I love this thread. It is so great to know that I'm not the only one that uses people coming over as a motivation to clean my house. I feel so pregnant and tired all the time (I have 3 under 3 and am expecting #4) that I just don't feel like it. But knowing someone is coming, gives me this spark of energy to actually clean up and I love it when my house is clean!
Ivanna

[redhookmom]

I just went to a house I had never been to before along with about 8 children and their mothers. None had ever been there before. She had a lovely house, and it was somewhat messy. Lived in, you know. What a relief, it made me feel at home.

[Corie]

I was going to suggest the exact same thing --

Do your cleaning after everyone leaves! That is when your house will need it! :)