Can I get a freaking break?

[nfowife]

Seriously, what is the deal? DD was the picture of health until she hit 18 months and started Mother's Day Out 2 days a week. Since then she has had multiple ear infections, croup x2, rotavirus (had to be hospitalized for that one), and a pretty much constant runny nose. She does have allergies which are contributing to the current state of things but I'm just so over it! But her going to MDO is one of the few things that is keeping me from heading over the brink of insanity with 2 little ones and a DH who travels for weeks at a time.

And DS, well, he is on his 3rd ear infection (2 double EI's, and the current on one side) in 9 weeks. First one at 4 weeks! He must have some flucked-up ears. I feel so bad that he probably doesn't even know what it feels like to NOT have an EI, and we are probably heading towards tubes at this point and he's not even 4 months old yet. I'm sure this has something to do with his craptastic sleep habits right now too. I'm so freaking tired! I have been up since 5 a.m. this morning and it's not out of the ordinary. And DH has been gone on a military deployment for 8 weeks so I get NO break unless they are both asleep (not really a break, since I use that time to eat, clean, or sleep myself).
DH is coming home next weekend and thinks it's going to be some romantic sex-filled reunion- sorry hon, but with 4 broken hours of sleep a night and a kid either nursing, crying, wanting to be held, wanting to use me as a playground climbing toy, or wanting me to follow her into the pantry so she can pick out a snack (that she then won't even eat) 24/7, I'm just not in the mood right now!
I'm so overdue for a haircut/color, my fridge is almost empty because I haven't had a chance to go to the store (been trying to avoid going with both kids so was going to go today but kept DD home from MDO with aforementioned double ear infection/fever).

I just need a break!!

[LarsMal]

Oh, Margaret, I am SO with you on this one. I think our DCs are pretty close in age, and I am ready to lose my frickin' mind!

DS and DD both had EIs back-to-back for about six weeks straight, not fun at all. DH is also into the pantry now, standing in there saying, "nack, nack" over and over (and taking everything out that he can reach).

I honestly don't know how you do it all alone. You are my hero! My DH isn't away, but he works a ton, so I am pretty much on my own. Last night I decided to go to the grocery store *after* DH got home (either that or pasta with ketchup for dinner!) and I still had to take DD with me b/c DH couldn't "handle both" by himself. POOR GUY!

I hope you get lots of alone time when your DH gets home (and I hope he is home for a long stretch, too). You deserve hot baths, naps, a girls' night out. Milk it for all it's worth!

:-) Julie

[megs4413]

so right where you are.....my dh isn't deployed...but he does work more than 100 hours a week....i honestly dont know how singles moms do it....

we thought about putting dd in an mdo program but because of ds' special needs, we decided we didn't want her to bring the germs home....but sometimes i wish we could do it...ok all the time i wish we could do it........i had no idea how hard having two was gonna be and sometimes i feel like i'm drowning.....i hope things get better for you soon...

[buddyleebaby]

Hugs, Margaret.

There are rough days when I am counting down the minutes until DH arrives home. I can't imagine if he didn't. It would be very, very hard.

I hope you get a much needed break, and I am sending your DC some feel better vibes.

[chlobo]

Wow. Sucks. Make sure you get "me" time when DH gets back. No negotiation.

[nfowife]

Just to add to my bad day....
We got home from a playdate at 5:30, fed DD a quick dinner that she barely ate (she's also teething, the incisors are a b#tch!). We go upstairs and my cleaning lady who comes weekly (one of my saving graces) was finishing up in the kid's bathroom. I asked her if she was done with the tub and she says she just finished cleaning it, so I run a tub and get both kids in. After a little bit and washing both kids, I take DS out of the tub and bring him into DD's room to get his pj's on (his room is adjacent to the bathroom so I can still see/hear DD). Well, DD starts fussing and saying "uh oh". She freaking pooped in the tub!! The first time she has ever done that!! Of course, 5 minutes after the thing was cleaned. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! Fortunately, I laughed....

[randomkid]

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I only have one, so I have no idea how it is to handle two. However, I can totally relate to the constant illness that your DD is experiencing. When DD was 19 months old, we started her in daycare because our sitter just wasn't working out. She was sick from the first week on - 4.5 months she was sick - and I just couldn't take it anymore. We were spending way too much money on ped visits, antibiotics, OTC meds, etc., not to mention how much work I missed. DD wasn't eating, was super fussy and having tantrums all the time, and like your DD, she was teething (six at once!). We decided to take her out of daycare and it has been the best thing ever! She's happy, eating well, a joy to be around and we aren't spending money hand over fist just for her to get sick all the time, then trying to nurse her back to health.

I know MDO is a break for you, but honestly, isn't all the illness causing more stress than it's relieving? I'm sure your DS is getting his EIs from the germs your DD is bringing home. Could you hire a sitter 2 days a week for 1/2 days or one full day a week? I'm sure if you calculate the expense of MDO plus meds, doctor visits, lost sleep, etc., the sitter would totally be worth it. Your DCs wouldn't be getting sick all the time, you would still get a break and, trust me, you will be far less stressed without all that illness. I was totally losing my mind when DD was sick all the time. DH and I were fighting and I just couldn't take it anymore. She is home with a sitter now when I work (part time) and although it is more expensive, in the long run we are actually spending less than we were with all the extra expenses and lost wages factored in. Plus, DD isn't sick anymore! I guarantee that alone would reduce your stress. The sitter can come to you so you don't have to take the time to transport to and from MDO and you will still get a break. I've had the sitter come when I've been home and even though DD still comes to me, the sitter keeps her entertained, so I still feel like I'm not having to do everything for her.

Think about it. I promise you - no illness equals significantly reduced stress and misery for everyone!

Hope you can do what is best for you and your family and that you DO get a break soon!

[nfowife]

Thanks, Kim. You gave me some food for thought. It's hard to know what is best to do. She loves going to MDO and I feel like she has gained so much from going there. She is a real social butterfly and I always feel like she gets bored at home. I am going to discuss it with my pediatrician and see how the summer goes (she is going to MDO summer session). Maybe I will keep her home in the fall with a sitter, when the illnesses seem rampant.

[elephantmeg]

yikes and hugs! I think you should schedule a haircut, highlights and massage for when DH is home next weekend. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time!

[randomkid]

I know what you mean. DD is very social and absolutely loved daycare. However, being sick so much was making her miserable and she was hardly ever there anyway because I would keep her home when she was sick. I also feel like she gets bored at home which is why I signed her up to start dance in August. I do feel that she needs more social interaction, but right now my sanity is more important. I figure she is doing just fine now and even though I know she would love to be around other kids more, sometimes I think Mommy still knows what is best. We plan to try again after she turns 3 and hope that she does better. She rarely puts her fingers in her mouth anymore, so I hope that helps (fingers were in her mouth continuously when teething).

Good luck and hope everyone is feeling better!

[gatorsmom]

It does get better, it does!! The first few months after delivery are the worst!!! But you'll be thankful you had your children so close in age because when your daughter is a little older (around 3yrs) and your son is walking they will play together and keep each other busy. My 2 boys are always playing together- it really is a huge help.

As for your husband, if he's anything like mine, let him have his quickie and then he'll be happy and watch the kids so you can get your haircut. Mine is always so much nicer to me after he has "got" some (you could even throw in a few dirty words to make him believe you enjoyed it ;) ).

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

[Sandra]

Have you thought about hiring a ten-year old to occupy the kids while you take a shower, cook, nap, read a magazine, etc..? A child that young can't be left alone with kids, but can be a world of help when you just want an uninterrupted hour or so without a child hanging off each leg. I did this so that I could make dinner in peace when I had a four-year old and two-year old and found it made all the difference in the world. Since your little one is so small you may need to try and time it for the baby's nap, but a good dollie or coloring session with a "big kid" a couple times a week might give your older child a fair bit of social time with a lot fewer germs. Since you'd be paying your "helper" you could also make sure she washed her hands thoroughly, wasn't sneezing her head off, put away/organized toys before heading home and so on.

Good luck!
Sandra